101 - This week's it's another money-minded podcast, with favorite guest—and newly certified Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner!—Heather Lahtinen.
Everyone has a money story. Play along as I try to uncover Heather's story, by presenting different scenarios to see what triggers her. What comes up for you as you listen? How would you answer these questions? Did you buy Bitcoin at $3.50, you brilliant little sunflower? (If so, kindly don't tell Heather.)
What To Listen For:
This is the second in a six-part series on the topic of money. So if you like money—earning it, saving it, spending it, figuring out why we're all super weird about it—be sure to catch my monthly talks with Heather through the end of the year!
Resources From This Episode:
JOIN THE PARTY:
101 - This week's it's another money-minded podcast, with favorite guest—and newly certified Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner!—Heather Lahtinen.
Everyone has a money story. Play along as I try to uncover Heather's story, by presenting different scenarios to see what triggers her. What comes up for you as you listen? How would you answer these questions? Did you buy Bitcoin at $3.50, you brilliant little sunflower? (If so, kindly don't tell Heather.)
What To Listen For:
This is the second in a six-part series on the topic of money. So if you like money—earning it, saving it, spending it, figuring out why we're all super weird about it—be sure to catch my monthly talks with Heather through the end of the year!
Resources From This Episode:
JOIN THE PARTY:
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Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast.
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I am your host,
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Nicole Begley.
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And today we are continuing our money conversation with one of
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your favorite guests,
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Heather Lahtinen.
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So stay tuned.
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You're going to love this one.
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Welcome to the Hair of the Dog Podcast.
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If you're a pet photographer,
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ready to make more money and start living a life by
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your design,
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you've come to the right place.
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And now your host,
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pet photographer,
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travel addict,
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chocolate martini connoisseur,
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Nicole Begley.
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Hey everybody,
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Nicole from hair of the dog here.
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And guess who's back back again.
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Who's that Nsyncer?
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That that was a little Boy.
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It Was more of a new kids on the block genre
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since I was born in the mid seventies.
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But anyway,
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I digress.
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And you heard her voice.
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You heard her once you heard her before and it's Heather
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and for the flourish academy,
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elevate coach here at hair,
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the dog she's back with us.
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You are favorite guest.
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I'm excited to be here On the podcast.
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Another, I am exciting news.
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I want to announce,
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I don't believe I noticed this on your podcast,
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but I recently received my certification as an NLP practitioner.
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I am a certified linguistic programming practitioner.
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What does that mean?
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Thank you for asking.
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It helps me to help people examine their thought patterns and
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their beliefs,
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which is exactly one of the things we focus on when
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we talk about money.
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Oh yes.
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I'd love it.
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That is so exciting.
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I know that you've been working so hard on that certification
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over the past several months,
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because it is Yes.
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I think I'm better positioned to help people.
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I say,
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what's your stance in this podcast on using swear words?
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I don't usually use.
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I mean,
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we usually don't,
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but sometimes they just I'll spell it because there could be
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a child listening.
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But I said to some people in elevate recently,
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I said,
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I'm going to NLP your ass.
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You don't watch out.
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Right? Like you're going to get an LP And they're going
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to love it.
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And they're going to love it in the end.
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But anyway,
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yes, that's so exciting and yeah,
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pretty excited to bring some of those extra exercises into our
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elevate program and occasionally into a bonus training in the hair
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of the dog academy.
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So fun.
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But today we are talking about that money mindset thing.
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We had one episode where recorded,
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which was episode number 95,
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which you and I talked about upgrading your life from things
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like trash cans to toilet seats and more.
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Yep. And you know what?
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We received a lot of great feedback about that episode.
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So if you haven't listened to it,
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make sure you check it out.
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We're doing a series of episodes on money,
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but it seemed like that one really resonated with people when
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I was getting messages that they were upgrading things and they
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were laughing about the trash cans and the toilet seats.
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And it was fun.
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And the underwear,
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I knew what I got.
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Yeah. I got a message about someone upgrading their underwear,
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which I thought was great.
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Now, when I went to Costco just last week,
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I'm like,
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huh, look,
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yeah, I'll get some new underwear.
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So there we go.
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Okay. Clarity.
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I just,
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I hesitated to say this in the last episode.
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So I have to say it now.
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There's no way you would catch me dead in Costco buying
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underwear in a package.
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Okay. That's just not how it's going to roll.
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Okay. It's going to be somewhere else.
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It's going to be a little bit different,
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but I understand the point,
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which is don't wear underwear with holes.
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Amen. See my standards for my underwear,
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her apparently a little bit lower than yours as well.
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Yeah. My let's face it.
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My entire wardrobe comes from basically target or Costco and occasional
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upgrade till white house black market.
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When we're actually like,
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you know,
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used to,
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to mix in with actual strangers in the wild,
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in real life.
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But that hasn't happened in a while and yeah,
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I go for comfort.
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I go for comfort.
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So Anyway,
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I'm actually recording this right now in my pajamas shorts from
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Costco. Wow.
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Okay. All right.
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Well, listen,
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whatever works for you.
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I typically dress up when I come to my office to
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work because I for,
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and this is different for everyone.
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Well, Hey,
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listen, this raises a good point because it doesn't have to
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look like other,
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either one of us,
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excuse me.
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You could upgrade whatever you would like.
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And it could be something really simple and inexpensive.
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It could be something more expensive.
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Everyone's going to be a little bit different.
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I come dressed up to my office because it helps me
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to work better.
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You come for comfort because that helps you to work better.
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So it just depends on your style.
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Yeah. 100%.
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So yeah.
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So anyway,
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go listen to that episode and you got it'll all make
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more sense here in a minute,
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there was a lot of,
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a lot of random things.
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There was yeah.
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Heated toilet seats,
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toilet bowl,
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cleaner wastebaskets underwear.
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I mean,
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nothing was left.
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Nothing was left unturned,
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not a lot of photography talk,
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but it all applies actually to your life and your photography
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business. But anyway,
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today is part two of our six part money series training.
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So we're going to do it throughout the rest of the
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year, at least.
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And today we are going to talk about how to start
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to uncover some of these money stories,
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because if you're a living,
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breathing, human,
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you have them,
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Everyone does.
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I've never met a person that doesn't have some type of
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money story.
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And even as we explore this,
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we continue to sort of up-level,
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but there's still another story.
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It's always the next one to uncover.
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So it's not like this work is ever done.
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You've ever reached the end.
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You're always just uncovering more and learning more about yourself.
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Yeah. A hundred percent.
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And I think the hardest part about this really is learning
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to uncover them.
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And once you,
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I mean,
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it's really like anything.
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Once you start practicing it,
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it becomes a little bit easier.
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It's kind of like,
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you know,
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when you first started photography and you're looking at this image
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and someone's like,
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oh, there's magenta.
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And that image and you're like magical.
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It looks like a dog because our brain tricks us.
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Cause it knows that the dog's supposed to be black.
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So it tells us,
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Hey, that's black.
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But once you start to practice seeing these different colors,
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you can't turn it off.
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For instance,
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when you move into your new house and they have led
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lighting and all the closets and all the room that has
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a magenta cast,
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right. I've,
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I've, I've accepted it now having three years.
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Usually, usually every,
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every once in a while,
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I'm like,
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and I do have daylight balanced lights in my office,
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which I mean,
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why don't you drive by there?
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So stinking,
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bright people drive by.
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They must think we are growing something.
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But anyway,
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I digress.
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Let's talk about how to uncover these money stories.
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So Heather,
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yes. What would you say if I kind of took you
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through some of these exercises and saw what came up for
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you? I would love it.
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I'm a little bit nervous because I absolutely,
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I've absolutely made progress in this area,
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but I know do you know how I know I'm not
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there yet?
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Because my bank account,
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isn't where I want it to be.
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Well, Right.
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That's a very clear indicator.
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If you log into your bank account and you look at
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it and you are not swimming in more money than,
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you know what to do with there's a money story.
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Yep. You would just have to find it.
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Yep. And then you'll find one and it might lead to
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another and it starts to unraveling all of these things,
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but that's,
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that's good work to do.
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And as we do this,
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you know,
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I know you guys sometimes like to just log on and
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listen to Heather and I chat because just,
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I don't know,
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that's what we do very formal here and hair of the
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dog land.
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But anyway,
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I want you guys to think about it from your perspective
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and really pay attention to what comes up for you and
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Heather, how do you know if there's something there?
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Like what should people look for?
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As I say something they're like,
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oh, like what should they be present to that Great question.
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So with money as with anything in life,
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if something triggers you there's work to be done,
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whatever it is.
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If someone says something to you that triggers you in a
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certain area,
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you have to think to yourself,
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okay, I have work.
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I need to do in that area.
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If something triggers you or brings up some type of emotion,
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negative emotion,
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I would say in this case,
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or some type of trigger or feeling that is unwanted,
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there is work that needs to be done in that area.
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And Could those triggers be,
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I mean,
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is it,
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it's not always like your voice saying,
266
00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:08,870
oh, it's not even like your,
267
00:09:08,950 --> 00:09:10,440
like a belief coming through your head.
268
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,050
It's really could just be like a tightening of the chest
269
00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:16,200
or like just really something very,
270
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:17,280
very minor.
271
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:18,660
Well, that's a good point.
272
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:20,010
So what you can do in that case,
273
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:20,880
if, if,
274
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,350
when you ask me a question,
275
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,390
if someone hears that question and they're like,
276
00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:27,750
Hmm, I'm not sure how I feel about that.
277
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:28,980
Just pause for a second,
278
00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:30,900
take a deep breath and ask yourself,
279
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,660
what are you feeling in your body and where,
280
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,250
because for instance,
281
00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:37,560
if you're not sure how you feel at the conscious level,
282
00:09:37,650 --> 00:09:39,210
your body will tell you.
283
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:43,200
So if you feel maybe a tightness in your chest or
284
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:47,790
you feel like you are constricted or kind of you tighten
285
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,920
up, that is a,
286
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:55,530
a physical indicator of an emotion that you are maybe not
287
00:09:55,590 --> 00:09:56,520
understanding yet,
288
00:09:56,610 --> 00:09:58,260
or you need to explore.
289
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:01,800
Now, the opposite of that is if you feel super relaxed
290
00:10:01,830 --> 00:10:05,070
and very open and calm and peaceful,
291
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:09,330
then there's probably not an issue in that particular area.
292
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:11,550
And that's a good way to All right.
293
00:10:11,550 --> 00:10:12,240
Awesome. No,
294
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,190
that is exactly what I was looking for,
295
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:17,250
because really it is just being aware of like the most
296
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,650
minor things and then asking yourself,
297
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,930
what's causing me to feel that way,
298
00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:24,420
or what am I making this mean?
299
00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:26,730
Or why do I think this?
300
00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:27,660
Or, you know,
301
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:28,980
and then starting to ask yourself,
302
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:30,090
maybe what's happened in the past.
303
00:10:30,090 --> 00:10:30,630
We'll get there.
304
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:30,870
I don't,
305
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:32,670
I don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves because
306
00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:33,300
after this,
307
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,520
we'll talk about how to start digging those down.
308
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,290
So are you ready?
309
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,670
I am hop quiz time.
310
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:40,230
All right.
311
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:44,250
I'm going to ask you some different things and I want
312
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,050
to ask you Heather,
313
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:49,170
how does each of these make you feel?
314
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:51,210
Meaning? Do you feel like,
315
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:52,080
oh man,
316
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,240
that would be awesome or that's pretty cool.
317
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:56,340
Or like neutral or is there like,
318
00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:01,410
oh, like one of those kind of negative feeling somewhere in
319
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:02,400
your body about it.
320
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:03,990
All right.
321
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:04,320
You ready?
322
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:05,610
Yes. Okay.
323
00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:09,420
When you see someone driving an expensive car,
324
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:11,760
I love expensive cars.
325
00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,110
I drive an expensive car,
326
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:17,700
so I don't have an issue with a car currently,
327
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:17,970
but you know,
328
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:18,690
what's interesting.
329
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,850
I'm wondering if maybe when I answer these questions,
330
00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:24,570
I should talk about how I feel now versus how I
331
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:27,150
felt prior to doing a lot of this work,
332
00:11:27,210 --> 00:11:27,540
you know,
333
00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:29,160
like three to five years ago,
334
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,840
or maybe even a decade ago,
335
00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:34,680
if I saw someone driving a really expensive car.
336
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:37,650
So this is like pre I don't know,
337
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:40,860
personal growth and development Heather right before all of the books,
338
00:11:40,860 --> 00:11:42,360
right? Yeah.
339
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,040
Right before podcasts existed,
340
00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:47,250
I would think I would see an expensive car and I
341
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:47,790
would think,
342
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:49,500
oh, well they must be rich.
343
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:50,310
Must be nice.
344
00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:51,540
That's. And it was,
345
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,850
and it would have definitely a negative tone to it,
346
00:11:56,200 --> 00:12:00,910
which looking back was 100% jealousy.
347
00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:04,420
Yeah. They had something that I wish I had.
348
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,630
And now that I drive a nice vehicle,
349
00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:10,480
I, there are times when I almost feel like,
350
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,130
I wonder if people are looking at me that way,
351
00:12:12,220 --> 00:12:13,240
the way I used to look.
352
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,420
Oh, that's interesting.
353
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:16,990
Isn't it?
354
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,720
That's another little level to unpack there.
355
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,400
Cause that's your little bit of ego.
356
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,600
Like, Hey,
357
00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:23,560
look at me now.
358
00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:25,060
You know?
359
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:25,990
And in fact,
360
00:12:25,990 --> 00:12:28,630
when somebody sees me driving my car,
361
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:30,610
I almost make excuses for it.
362
00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:32,140
Isn't that interesting?
363
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:34,930
Like To rationalize why?
364
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:39,220
Yes. So I drive a Mercedes and when somebody says,
365
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:40,960
and I always try to keep it clean and nice,
366
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,900
and it's just so sleek looking and people will say,
367
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:46,360
wow, that's a nice car.
368
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:46,960
And I say,
369
00:12:46,990 --> 00:12:47,650
oh, well,
370
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,180
I bought it in 2009.
371
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:51,160
Like it has 122,000
372
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,890
miles on it and I paid cash for it.
373
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:56,170
And did you know that there is a line in the
374
00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:58,570
Mercedes group that's actually really affordable,
375
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,690
probably more affordable than your SUV that you're driving.
376
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:02,650
And like,
377
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:03,700
I have to explain it.
378
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:05,350
Right, Right.
379
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,520
I think that,
380
00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:06,850
I mean,
381
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:07,720
that is definitely,
382
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,740
that's a whole nother podcast about being able to just accept
383
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:15,940
compliments, just accept what is and what you're comfortable with because
384
00:13:15,940 --> 00:13:17,320
how many times do people do that?
385
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:18,670
If you know,
386
00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:19,570
you're wearing a shirt,
387
00:13:19,660 --> 00:13:20,410
somebody that,
388
00:13:20,470 --> 00:13:20,740
you know,
389
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:21,160
someone's like,
390
00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:21,730
I love your shirt.
391
00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:21,990
And you're like,
392
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:22,300
oh, thanks.
393
00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:22,960
I got it on sale.
394
00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:24,760
Yeah. Yeah.
395
00:13:24,820 --> 00:13:25,330
Right. Like,
396
00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:25,930
instead of just saying,
397
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:26,890
oh, thanks so much.
398
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:28,690
We feel like we have to wrap up.
399
00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:30,160
We have to explain it right.
400
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,840
Rationalize it or explain it.
401
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:33,640
So what are we doing?
402
00:13:33,790 --> 00:13:36,940
We're trying To prevent the other person from judging us.
403
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,370
Probably how we used to judge other people.
404
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,150
There it is.
405
00:13:41,650 --> 00:13:41,920
Ding, ding,
406
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:42,630
ding, Ding,
407
00:13:42,690 --> 00:13:44,020
ding. Okay.
408
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:44,320
All right.
409
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:44,620
All right.
410
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,810
So, and I also want to make a quick point.
411
00:13:46,810 --> 00:13:48,130
It's going to be a five-hour podcast,
412
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:50,650
a quick point though,
413
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:51,910
about some of these,
414
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:52,780
you know,
415
00:13:53,110 --> 00:13:56,530
like the expensive car might not be something that triggers you,
416
00:13:56,530 --> 00:14:00,280
but something else like seeing someone buy expensive furniture does.
417
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,410
So it could be similar but different because all of our
418
00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:03,610
values, you know,
419
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,240
for instance,
420
00:14:04,270 --> 00:14:06,550
I, I won't spend money on expensive shoes,
421
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,770
but I will spend money on expensive furniture,
422
00:14:08,770 --> 00:14:11,800
vacations Couch.
423
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,180
How much did that couch cost?
424
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:13,780
You know,
425
00:14:13,780 --> 00:14:15,010
I got the,
426
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:16,810
well, that was just a,
427
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:17,620
here I go,
428
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:18,190
I'm gonna wrap.
429
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:23,050
It was just a regular La-Z-Boy sectional for our media room,
430
00:14:23,740 --> 00:14:24,570
but it's fine.
431
00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:25,810
It's $5,000.
432
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,930
Okay. I know that it wasn't Leather.
433
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:29,890
We didn't get leather.
434
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,620
It was just plain old fabric because we were scared of
435
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:33,310
the cat snails.
436
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:34,630
That's fair.
437
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:35,170
That's fair.
438
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,850
A $5,000
439
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:39,160
couch. And I know a friend that has an $8,000
440
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,780
couch literally makes my head,
441
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,650
want to explode.
442
00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:43,510
I cannot understand that.
443
00:14:43,690 --> 00:14:44,530
Ah, you haven't,
444
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,310
you haven't sat in the comfort that is this couch yet.
445
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:49,540
It's well,
446
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,250
It goes back to what you said literally two minutes ago,
447
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:55,430
which is everybody has different values and what's important to them.
448
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:58,340
So when I hear someone say they spent eight or even
449
00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:01,820
$10,000, what's that really fancy line of couches,
450
00:15:01,820 --> 00:15:02,990
restoration Hardware,
451
00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:03,620
that's it?
452
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:06,080
Yes. They spent $10,000
453
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:06,680
in a couch.
454
00:15:06,890 --> 00:15:10,910
I, I get really irritated by that because I think,
455
00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:12,440
well, if I had $10,000,
456
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,910
I wouldn't be spending it on a couch.
457
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,500
I might be going on vacation.
458
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,100
I'm like,
459
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:17,960
I totally,
460
00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:20,390
totally. Yeah.
461
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,860
And it's not fair.
462
00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:22,880
I recognize that,
463
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,460
but it's just because that's not where my priorities and everybody
464
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:26,420
has different priorities,
465
00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:28,430
but that tells me Nicole,
466
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:30,620
that I have work to do in that area.
467
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,360
Right, right.
468
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:34,280
Yeah. Or I wouldn't feel that way.
469
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:35,360
I wouldn't care.
470
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:35,840
I'd be like,
471
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,010
congratulations on your couch.
472
00:15:37,010 --> 00:15:37,490
That's amazing.
473
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:38,420
I'm going to come sleep on it.
474
00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:39,560
I do enjoy it.
475
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,560
Yeah. It'd be happy for them that they have something that
476
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:43,820
they find value in.
477
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:45,590
Exactly. All right.
478
00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:46,520
I love it.
479
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:48,050
Uncovering things left and right.
480
00:15:48,890 --> 00:15:49,120
All right.
481
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:49,790
Here's another one.
482
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,080
Go back to your early weddings by Heather days.
483
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:57,680
And what about when you hear of a photographer running a
484
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,750
$300,000 a year business?
485
00:15:59,870 --> 00:16:02,780
Okay. I was very clear on that one.
486
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:03,950
I thought to myself,
487
00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:04,790
if they can do it,
488
00:16:04,790 --> 00:16:05,420
so can I,
489
00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:10,220
yeah. That actually gave me great hope and inspiration and I
490
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:11,750
thought, how are they doing it?
491
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:13,580
That's amazing.
492
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,400
I'm going to figure it out because if it's possible for
493
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,870
them, it's possible for others.
494
00:16:17,900 --> 00:16:18,320
So that,
495
00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:21,380
that, that triggered me in a positive way.
496
00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:22,730
So it's not.
497
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,190
And the stories around that then yeah.
498
00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:27,440
It's policies that are serving you,
499
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,700
beliefs, they're serving you.
500
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,330
Correct. Where some people might see that and immediately think,
501
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:32,960
oh, well,
502
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,100
I can't,
503
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,360
I haven't done that yet.
504
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,520
So I must not be cut out for this.
505
00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:39,740
I'm I'm not worthy of this,
506
00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:41,810
or I don't have what it takes to get there.
507
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,930
So that kind of thing can really send people in two
508
00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:46,070
very different directions.
509
00:16:46,890 --> 00:16:47,570
Really good point.
510
00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:49,790
Does it deflate you or does it elevate you?
511
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:53,330
Right. And for me it elevated me because I thought they
512
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:53,780
could do it.
513
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:54,710
So can I,
514
00:16:54,740 --> 00:16:58,880
but I can see where that might feel deflating to some,
515
00:16:58,880 --> 00:16:59,510
like how,
516
00:16:59,510 --> 00:17:01,190
how am I going to ever be able to do that
517
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,140
Well, and if it is deflating,
518
00:17:03,170 --> 00:17:06,680
it just means that there's some belief that you have underlying,
519
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,020
that that's causing you to feel deflated.
520
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,000
Right? So again,
521
00:17:11,060 --> 00:17:14,420
all of these questions are truly just to uncover,
522
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,390
okay, where am I starting to feel that kind of deflated
523
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,770
or that tightness,
524
00:17:18,770 --> 00:17:19,460
or just,
525
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,180
you know,
526
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,910
you're either going to feel positive or negative.
527
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,830
And then occasionally it might be neutral,
528
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:27,740
but most three they're going to be like better or worse.
529
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:28,940
And the ones that are worse,
530
00:17:28,940 --> 00:17:31,160
make special note because we're going to dig into what that
531
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:31,820
can mean later.
532
00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:32,120
All right.
533
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:32,750
Here's another one.
534
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,090
When Bitcoin reaches 65,000
535
00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:35,630
a Bitcoin,
536
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,690
I get mad and I roll my eyes because I heard
537
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:39,740
about Bitcoin.
538
00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:41,540
I wouldn't say super early on,
539
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,070
but fairly early on.
540
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:43,730
And I thought,
541
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,480
should I buy some?
542
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:49,070
And I didn't because I'm somewhat risk averse.
543
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:49,830
And I thought,
544
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,570
it's not real money.
545
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:53,250
It's virtual.
546
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:54,510
What is happening?
547
00:17:54,510 --> 00:17:57,660
There's no way this is going to go anywhere.
548
00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:58,170
Of course,
549
00:17:58,170 --> 00:17:59,610
I don't have any knowledge in this area,
550
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,250
but I listened to a couple of tech podcasts and they
551
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:04,530
were talking about this years ago and I thought,
552
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,110
oh, maybe I should just buy a little bit.
553
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,210
And I didn't know,
554
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,620
of course I'm rolling my eyes,
555
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:11,220
but I,
556
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:11,580
and I,
557
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:13,320
and then you feel like,
558
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:14,130
oh, it's too late.
559
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:14,700
I missed the boat.
560
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:16,890
I should've done it years ago.
561
00:18:16,890 --> 00:18:17,430
And I didn't.
562
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,210
And now I can't,
563
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:19,140
and now I'm mad.
564
00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:21,330
So I definitely have some stories around,
565
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:26,070
Well, I have that story back in March of 2020,
566
00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:26,790
you know,
567
00:18:26,790 --> 00:18:28,410
we all remember what happened that month.
568
00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:31,230
When the market kind of corrected quite a bit.
569
00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:35,100
I had some money in my retirement account that was just
570
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:35,970
waiting to get invested.
571
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:37,530
So I bought some Google stock,
572
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:40,500
which is gone up 150% since then.
573
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,240
And I'm in that same boat.
574
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:42,450
I'm like,
575
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:43,380
man, I want to buy more,
576
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:46,500
but I probably missed the boat,
577
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,540
but is it going to continue to still go up?
578
00:18:48,570 --> 00:18:49,440
Probably. All right.
579
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:51,360
Anyway, next one,
580
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,010
you treat yourself to a spa day.
581
00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,350
I don't have a problem with that.
582
00:18:55,440 --> 00:19:01,950
I'm I'm really into self-care either Limit years ago said That
583
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,390
no, absolutely not.
584
00:19:03,450 --> 00:19:05,880
I would have a hundred percent never done this 10 years
585
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,620
ago. Maybe even like seven years ago.
586
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:11,160
So this is pretty recent where I would splurge on something
587
00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:14,280
for myself and think that I am worth it and I
588
00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:14,940
can do it.
589
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,680
But there is a limit to that.
590
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:17,010
You know,
591
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,390
if you told me,
592
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:18,600
I mean,
593
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,320
give me a number,
594
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:20,880
how much would I be spending?
595
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,560
Usually it'd be like a hundred,
596
00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:24,540
but what if I set a thousand dollars on a spot
597
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:25,200
day? Okay.
598
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,510
So the a hundred would be no problem for me.
599
00:19:27,870 --> 00:19:30,000
And probably in this,
600
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,600
just the reason I'm walking through this is because I want
601
00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:35,370
to share that everyone's going to be different.
602
00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:36,330
Everyone has a different,
603
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:37,740
a different gauge,
604
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:40,830
a different way to measure a hundred less than 500.
605
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,070
I would probably do upwards of a thousand.
606
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:44,940
I would hesitate.
607
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:45,830
I would hesitate.
608
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,990
I would think a day to blow a thousand dollars.
609
00:19:48,990 --> 00:19:50,550
Like who do I think I am a celebrity?
610
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:52,890
Yeah. And these numbers,
611
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,280
they change because it was not that long ago where I
612
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,740
would go down to the farmer's market.
613
00:19:59,190 --> 00:20:03,720
And there's this one vendor there that has the most stunning,
614
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,770
beautiful flowers.
615
00:20:04,890 --> 00:20:08,190
And you get these giant bouquets for 10 or $20,
616
00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:09,570
like bouquets,
617
00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:11,550
the size that you can't get anywhere else for that amount
618
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:11,880
of money.
619
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:12,960
And they're beautiful.
620
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,950
And I would rarely ever get one because I had this
621
00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:17,970
story of like,
622
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:19,200
it's wasteful,
623
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:20,670
they're just going to die.
624
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,730
Like, but like basically just this wasteful,
625
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:24,090
like why,
626
00:20:24,150 --> 00:20:25,560
why, why are you gonna spend your money on that?
627
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:26,460
They're only live for a week.
628
00:20:26,730 --> 00:20:28,770
And I finally changed that cause I'm like,
629
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,690
wait, is that flower?
630
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,340
Those flowers on my table.
631
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:33,600
I'm working from home.
632
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,790
I walk into my kitchen 37,000
633
00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:36,630
times a day.
634
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:38,850
Is, are those flowers going to big?
635
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,710
Bring me 10 or $20 worth of joy.
636
00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:43,020
Yes, of course.
637
00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:46,440
Do they make me feel more abundant when I walk into
638
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:47,040
my kitchen?
639
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:50,470
Yes. So there's all these extra things and you know,
640
00:20:50,470 --> 00:20:53,140
and 10 or $20 when I was,
641
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:53,650
you know,
642
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:58,990
23 and just graduated college would be very different feel than
643
00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:02,080
now where my husband and I both have good jobs,
644
00:21:02,110 --> 00:21:02,410
you know?
645
00:21:02,410 --> 00:21:03,700
So that,
646
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,130
that fluctuation of money,
647
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,960
like we get comfortable at one level.
648
00:21:08,230 --> 00:21:08,800
And then,
649
00:21:09,250 --> 00:21:09,730
you know,
650
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,130
it takes a little while to get comfortable with that next.
651
00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:12,880
So I don't know,
652
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,100
Heather, in 10 years you might be totally comfortable with that
653
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:19,480
thousand dollars SWAT a day plus Good point.
654
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:20,650
All right.
655
00:21:20,650 --> 00:21:23,830
Perfect. So those were just some questions to kind of,
656
00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:24,130
oh wait,
657
00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:24,670
there's one more.
658
00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:25,450
It's my favorite.
659
00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:27,730
When you see a list of the world's wealthiest people,
660
00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,100
I think that's fun.
661
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:30,520
I don't,
662
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:31,240
I can't,
663
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,220
I can't identify with them though.
664
00:21:33,220 --> 00:21:35,950
And I caught myself recently saying,
665
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:39,730
so I'm a big fan of Jamie Kern,
666
00:21:39,730 --> 00:21:41,320
Lima. She's the founder of it.
667
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,230
Cosmetics, which she sold to L'Oreal for a billion dollars.
668
00:21:44,260 --> 00:21:46,930
She has a book out called yeah.
669
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:47,560
A billion,
670
00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:48,160
a billion.
671
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:50,560
She has a book out called believe it.
672
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,730
And I just love her.
673
00:21:51,730 --> 00:21:52,780
I love her story,
674
00:21:52,780 --> 00:21:53,500
everything about her.
675
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,080
I highly recommend following her in reading the book.
676
00:21:56,230 --> 00:22:00,370
And I found myself saying these words as I'm reading and
677
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,030
hearing this,
678
00:22:01,150 --> 00:22:02,500
I cannot imagine that.
679
00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:03,940
And I thought to myself,
680
00:22:04,060 --> 00:22:05,620
as long as I continue to say that,
681
00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:06,820
I cannot imagine it.
682
00:22:07,270 --> 00:22:08,440
I will never it happen.
683
00:22:08,950 --> 00:22:09,940
Right. Exactly.
684
00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:13,150
So, and it's not that I am currently aiming for a
685
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:16,060
billion because that is a pretty big number.
686
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:17,290
But what about a million,
687
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:18,700
right? No.
688
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:21,250
If you walk around or what about a hundred thousand in
689
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,780
your pet photography business?
690
00:22:23,110 --> 00:22:24,700
If you walk around saying,
691
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,680
I can't imagine that when somebody says,
692
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,570
yeah, I have a $250,000
693
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,970
business, if you can't imagine it,
694
00:22:30,970 --> 00:22:32,020
you're never going to have it.
695
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,420
So I caught that.
696
00:22:34,510 --> 00:22:35,680
But, but to be honest,
697
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,870
Nicola, I'm struggling to bridge that gap.
698
00:22:37,930 --> 00:22:40,060
A gap that is that wide.
699
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:40,600
Yeah. Yeah.
700
00:22:40,670 --> 00:22:43,360
Right. That becomes into those numbers that are believable,
701
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,610
like at a blade believability step.
702
00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:46,940
Right. Right.
703
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:48,340
Yeah. And so in this funny,
704
00:22:48,340 --> 00:22:49,900
because the name of her book is believe it.
705
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,260
And I almost,
706
00:22:53,260 --> 00:22:55,810
and it's believe it because it caused me to write.
707
00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:56,920
So it's a play on words,
708
00:22:57,100 --> 00:22:57,940
super clever.
709
00:22:58,120 --> 00:22:59,110
And I'm reading it.
710
00:22:59,110 --> 00:22:59,470
I'm like,
711
00:22:59,500 --> 00:23:00,370
I can't believe it.
712
00:23:01,870 --> 00:23:04,210
I can't believe how this is even possible.
713
00:23:04,210 --> 00:23:05,260
She worked so hard.
714
00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:06,280
She was so,
715
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,660
so scrappy.
716
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,010
I love the story with QVC and how she managed this.
717
00:23:12,010 --> 00:23:14,440
And she actually had a couple of deals fall through,
718
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:15,040
prior to that,
719
00:23:15,250 --> 00:23:18,310
L'Oreal had made her an offer a few years prior.
720
00:23:18,310 --> 00:23:21,340
That was not really that great that she didn't say the
721
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:21,880
number, but,
722
00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:24,070
and then she was not a disappointed.
723
00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:24,670
It didn't no,
724
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:25,420
definitely not.
725
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:26,770
And it just didn't work out.
726
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:27,670
It wasn't just the number.
727
00:23:27,670 --> 00:23:28,030
It was like,
728
00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:29,860
there was a whole bunch of equal issues,
729
00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:33,070
but when they came back to her and it did work
730
00:23:33,070 --> 00:23:34,930
out, I mean,
731
00:23:35,110 --> 00:23:37,810
that's just truly unbelievable.
732
00:23:38,110 --> 00:23:41,860
It was a billion dollar sale and the first in cosmetics
733
00:23:41,980 --> 00:23:47,060
history and she started a cosmetics company when that market oh,
734
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,080
nice parallel,
735
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,100
Heather, thank you.
736
00:23:49,370 --> 00:23:52,250
Everybody says the photography market is so saturated.
737
00:23:52,550 --> 00:23:54,230
What about the cosmetic industry?
738
00:23:54,590 --> 00:23:57,800
And she started a brand new cosmetics company and then sold
739
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,340
it. And it's,
740
00:23:58,340 --> 00:24:00,050
this has not been that many years ago.
741
00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:02,810
So that was very inspiring to me.
742
00:24:03,410 --> 00:24:04,430
But again,
743
00:24:04,430 --> 00:24:05,090
I kept saying,
744
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,320
I can't imagine that.
745
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:10,220
So I'm starting to see things that I previously would say
746
00:24:10,220 --> 00:24:10,910
that, and I'm saying,
747
00:24:10,910 --> 00:24:12,350
okay, try to imagine it.
748
00:24:12,530 --> 00:24:13,030
Just try.
749
00:24:13,070 --> 00:24:18,260
Right. Can you and see if it's possible because then maybe
750
00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:20,120
it can become Yeah.
751
00:24:20,120 --> 00:24:22,160
And one of the best ways that I like to do,
752
00:24:22,190 --> 00:24:24,380
or to find a way to start to believe that is
753
00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,280
to look for proof.
754
00:24:25,310 --> 00:24:28,790
Like, can you find anyone out there that's running a $250,000
755
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,900
pet photography business.
756
00:24:30,380 --> 00:24:31,850
Yeah. There's people out there doing it.
757
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,140
So, you know,
758
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:34,700
if it's possible for them,
759
00:24:34,700 --> 00:24:35,780
why is it not possible for you?
760
00:24:36,290 --> 00:24:36,650
All right.
761
00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:38,540
Let's move on now.
762
00:24:38,780 --> 00:24:41,180
So that was kind of our general to kind of gauge
763
00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:43,340
where we might be having some hangups.
764
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:47,570
Now I want to move on to some questions about spending
765
00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:53,780
money and where you might feel a little hesitation trepidation.
766
00:24:53,780 --> 00:24:54,710
I might say,
767
00:24:55,580 --> 00:24:56,990
because I'm a saver,
768
00:24:57,020 --> 00:24:57,410
you know,
769
00:24:57,410 --> 00:24:57,650
I am.
770
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:58,160
Oh yeah.
771
00:24:58,250 --> 00:24:58,790
I know.
772
00:24:58,850 --> 00:24:59,570
I know.
773
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,580
Yes. All right.
774
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,740
So how do these make you feel?
775
00:25:03,890 --> 00:25:06,380
Okay. You get a large electric bill.
776
00:25:06,590 --> 00:25:07,850
Oh, Wow.
777
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,580
Really? That's the question be curious.
778
00:25:11,150 --> 00:25:16,310
I just got an electric bill for $500.
779
00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:17,360
Isn't that a lot.
780
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:17,660
Does that,
781
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:18,170
That's what,
782
00:25:18,170 --> 00:25:20,630
it seems like a lot because I live in North Carolina
783
00:25:20,630 --> 00:25:23,930
with two air conditioners in like 90 outside every day.
784
00:25:23,930 --> 00:25:25,370
And mine is not that much.
785
00:25:25,370 --> 00:25:27,410
I know my house is brand new.
786
00:25:27,410 --> 00:25:28,460
It's not old.
787
00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:32,060
I have a new home and two air conditioners and I
788
00:25:32,060 --> 00:25:34,870
thought it has been rather warm and maybe just,
789
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:35,900
I don't know.
790
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,140
Okay. That got to me a little bit.
791
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,420
Now I can pay the bill.
792
00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:42,500
It's fine.
793
00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:46,040
But I would prefer a $250 electric bill.
794
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,580
And now I'm going to be that crazy person.
795
00:25:49,580 --> 00:25:50,540
Like when I was little,
796
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,990
my dad would lose his mind.
797
00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:55,340
If you left a light on,
798
00:25:55,460 --> 00:25:55,730
you know,
799
00:25:55,730 --> 00:25:56,120
he would say,
800
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:57,680
do you think we own the electric company?
801
00:25:57,770 --> 00:25:59,690
And we would get yelled at for leaving lights on.
802
00:25:59,690 --> 00:26:02,450
Well, now my parents actually live with us and my dad
803
00:26:02,450 --> 00:26:03,770
leaves lights on and I say,
804
00:26:03,860 --> 00:26:05,330
do you think I own Duquesne light?
805
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,340
Do you think I have stock in the electric company?
806
00:26:07,790 --> 00:26:09,110
So I blame him of course,
807
00:26:09,110 --> 00:26:11,600
but because the roles have reversed,
808
00:26:12,140 --> 00:26:12,530
but I,
809
00:26:12,670 --> 00:26:13,160
I mean,
810
00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:13,820
I was like,
811
00:26:13,850 --> 00:26:14,870
you guys really?
812
00:26:14,870 --> 00:26:15,500
I don't know,
813
00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:19,370
$500 just seems like a lot for an electric bill.
814
00:26:19,790 --> 00:26:22,340
Yeah. Do you think that means that I still have issues
815
00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:23,180
in that area?
816
00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:25,040
Yes and no.
817
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:25,370
I mean,
818
00:26:25,370 --> 00:26:27,680
I think it's okay that if you're used to like,
819
00:26:27,710 --> 00:26:28,160
oh whatever,
820
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,280
my bill is usually $250 and now there's like,
821
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,570
why it sat a hundred bucks this month?
822
00:26:32,570 --> 00:26:33,440
What the heck happened?
823
00:26:33,620 --> 00:26:33,980
You know,
824
00:26:33,980 --> 00:26:37,220
that's taking something by surprise for bill you weren't expecting.
825
00:26:37,220 --> 00:26:40,670
So certainly there would be some trepidation there.
826
00:26:40,670 --> 00:26:41,510
Some, you know,
827
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,580
some not overly positive feelings.
828
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,920
Right. But you know,
829
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,590
I think which we're going to get into later,
830
00:26:49,590 --> 00:26:50,010
but like,
831
00:26:50,550 --> 00:26:52,530
this is a great way to reframe.
832
00:26:52,590 --> 00:26:52,860
I mean,
833
00:26:52,860 --> 00:26:56,220
how many people right now we're recording this hurricane.
834
00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:57,810
Ida just slammed the golf coast.
835
00:26:57,810 --> 00:27:01,950
Like how many people in Louisiana would like to have electricity
836
00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:02,520
right now.
837
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:05,790
So of course,
838
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:06,270
you know,
839
00:27:07,230 --> 00:27:07,470
you know,
840
00:27:07,470 --> 00:27:08,820
this happened for us.
841
00:27:09,270 --> 00:27:11,070
It was two Christmases ago.
842
00:27:11,070 --> 00:27:16,470
Maybe where my son had something poison Ivy.
843
00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:18,750
I don't remember he had something.
844
00:27:18,750 --> 00:27:20,910
Then he was on and no one had been poison Ivy
845
00:27:20,910 --> 00:27:21,510
for antibiotics,
846
00:27:21,510 --> 00:27:22,860
regardless. He had some,
847
00:27:22,860 --> 00:27:23,220
you know,
848
00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:24,060
elementary school,
849
00:27:24,060 --> 00:27:26,460
something that he ended up being on antibiotics for maybe strep
850
00:27:26,490 --> 00:27:27,600
throat regardless.
851
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,020
He ended up having a reaction to it.
852
00:27:31,020 --> 00:27:33,750
So we ended up and it was kind of like,
853
00:27:33,750 --> 00:27:35,310
it wasn't closing his throat,
854
00:27:35,310 --> 00:27:35,790
but he was like,
855
00:27:35,790 --> 00:27:36,510
it's hard to breathe.
856
00:27:36,540 --> 00:27:40,440
So we went to the emergency room and he was fine
857
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,520
and gave him some,
858
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:41,940
you know,
859
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,140
steroids and all good.
860
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:44,350
And you know,
861
00:27:44,350 --> 00:27:47,100
then I came home and this is like two weeks before
862
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:48,900
Christmas, we get the bill and you know,
863
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:50,010
we have insurance,
864
00:27:50,010 --> 00:27:53,100
me and my husband works for a pharmaceutical company.
865
00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:53,880
Like, wait,
866
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,290
it's good corporate insurance.
867
00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:57,090
And we still get a bill for like 500 bucks for
868
00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:59,040
that little trip to the ER,
869
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,480
two weeks before Christmas.
870
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,530
And I've grown because my new thought was,
871
00:28:04,740 --> 00:28:09,720
man, I am so thankful that this $500 bill doesn't ruin
872
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,770
our Christmas because how many people would get that bill right
873
00:28:13,770 --> 00:28:16,050
before Christmas and just be like wrecked.
874
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:16,710
That's it.
875
00:28:16,950 --> 00:28:18,990
Like, I can't get my kids Christmas presents.
876
00:28:18,990 --> 00:28:20,580
I don't know how I'm going to pay the mortgage.
877
00:28:20,970 --> 00:28:21,270
You know?
878
00:28:21,270 --> 00:28:22,140
So anyway,
879
00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:22,770
oh my God,
880
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:23,220
look at me.
881
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:25,290
I know,
882
00:28:25,590 --> 00:28:28,920
I know this is actually incredibly rare for you to get
883
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,860
emotional. I wonder.
884
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:32,370
I mean,
885
00:28:32,430 --> 00:28:32,850
you're just,
886
00:28:33,150 --> 00:28:35,460
you're very sympathetic to the needs of people.
887
00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:38,310
And I love that about you because you're right.
888
00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:41,100
If someone gets a large bill before Christmas,
889
00:28:41,310 --> 00:28:45,720
there might not be a Christmas and that's devastating.
890
00:28:46,290 --> 00:28:47,360
Yeah. Yeah.
891
00:28:48,690 --> 00:28:49,440
That makes sense.
892
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:50,790
But I'm glad that you,
893
00:28:50,790 --> 00:28:51,180
I mean,
894
00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:54,360
but I'm also happy that you are in a spot where
895
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:55,140
you can say,
896
00:28:55,230 --> 00:28:55,920
oh, thank goodness.
897
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:57,660
Like you're super grateful about it.
898
00:28:58,350 --> 00:28:59,160
Right, right.
899
00:28:59,430 --> 00:29:00,300
Yeah. The next,
900
00:29:00,330 --> 00:29:01,470
the next one I have for you,
901
00:29:01,470 --> 00:29:02,550
I'm not as grateful.
902
00:29:02,550 --> 00:29:05,490
I haven't evolved myself quite as much to be grateful for
903
00:29:05,490 --> 00:29:06,030
this one,
904
00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:08,400
which is when you have to send a large check to
905
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:09,150
the IRS.
906
00:29:09,990 --> 00:29:10,980
Yeah. The heck with them.
907
00:29:11,190 --> 00:29:16,080
Okay. This happened to both of us earlier this year and
908
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:20,130
both of these checks were rather large and you and I
909
00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:23,880
were trying to talk ourselves out of our own misery,
910
00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:24,570
but we,
911
00:29:24,630 --> 00:29:25,440
and we were both.
912
00:29:25,470 --> 00:29:26,760
We were in agreement here.
913
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:27,000
You know,
914
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:27,750
we were saying,
915
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:29,580
okay, this means I'm making money.
916
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:30,780
And this is a good thing.
917
00:29:30,810 --> 00:29:32,790
That means business is going well.
918
00:29:32,850 --> 00:29:34,740
But there is just,
919
00:29:34,830 --> 00:29:37,320
I think no greater pain than writing that check.
920
00:29:37,470 --> 00:29:37,980
I really,
921
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,510
really, really is not.
922
00:29:39,660 --> 00:29:40,620
And my biggest,
923
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,150
truly my biggest beef IRS,
924
00:29:43,150 --> 00:29:43,930
if you're listening,
925
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:48,130
this needs to change is that you view your yearly taxes
926
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:48,520
and you're like,
927
00:29:48,550 --> 00:29:49,030
oh, okay,
928
00:29:49,030 --> 00:29:51,010
whatever, you had a bigger year,
929
00:29:51,010 --> 00:29:51,580
one year.
930
00:29:51,580 --> 00:29:52,930
So now you owe this money,
931
00:29:53,170 --> 00:29:56,290
but then it affects your next year's estimated payments.
932
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:58,390
And you're paying taxes on money.
933
00:29:58,390 --> 00:29:59,440
You haven't made yet.
934
00:29:59,470 --> 00:30:01,510
I had this happen a lot when I was still doing
935
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:05,860
photography full time because my biggest months were always the end
936
00:30:05,860 --> 00:30:06,430
of the year.
937
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:11,470
So I'm paying quarterly estimated taxes based on my year end
938
00:30:11,470 --> 00:30:14,740
revenue in four even chunks when I'm like,
939
00:30:15,070 --> 00:30:16,720
dude, I just had first quarter,
940
00:30:17,020 --> 00:30:17,620
are you kidding?
941
00:30:20,050 --> 00:30:22,630
Yeah. So IRS,
942
00:30:22,930 --> 00:30:26,410
let us pay on our profit per quarter.
943
00:30:26,410 --> 00:30:29,410
And we'll send you a profit loss statement with our check.
944
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,100
I actually have lamented too.
945
00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:36,430
We have the same accountant to our accountant about this because
946
00:30:36,580 --> 00:30:37,660
I said his name's Matt.
947
00:30:37,690 --> 00:30:38,020
I said,
948
00:30:38,020 --> 00:30:40,000
Matt, I don't have that money.
949
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,560
Okay. I had it personally,
950
00:30:41,710 --> 00:30:46,240
but I didn't have it coming in from business because it
951
00:30:46,270 --> 00:30:47,110
was an estimate.
952
00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:48,280
And I had a really,
953
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:49,810
really good December one year.
954
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,600
So that skewed everything.
955
00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,610
So the first quarter in March,
956
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,380
I'm paying this really,
957
00:30:56,590 --> 00:30:58,870
really quite large estimate.
958
00:30:59,230 --> 00:31:00,160
I don't have it.
959
00:31:00,370 --> 00:31:00,970
So I'd have to,
960
00:31:01,460 --> 00:31:03,100
your main tax bill is due.
961
00:31:03,550 --> 00:31:04,420
That's the worst.
962
00:31:04,450 --> 00:31:05,470
That is the worst.
963
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:06,880
And like,
964
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,460
there's no guarantee that I'm going to make the same amount
965
00:31:09,460 --> 00:31:10,090
of money that I,
966
00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:11,260
our businesses are.
967
00:31:11,290 --> 00:31:12,190
Right. You know,
968
00:31:12,250 --> 00:31:13,150
they change a lot.
969
00:31:13,150 --> 00:31:13,810
They're not,
970
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:15,910
it's not the same amount every year.
971
00:31:15,910 --> 00:31:19,060
So that actually does drive me crazy.
972
00:31:19,060 --> 00:31:20,410
And as of this recording,
973
00:31:20,590 --> 00:31:23,920
our third quarter is going to be due pretty soon.
974
00:31:23,980 --> 00:31:27,190
And I'm still not making what I had made in the
975
00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:28,480
fourth quarter last year.
976
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:29,830
So yeah,
977
00:31:29,970 --> 00:31:30,790
it's going to be,
978
00:31:30,820 --> 00:31:33,400
I'm literally in the same boat for the first three quarters
979
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,290
and then the fourth quarter makes up for it.
980
00:31:35,590 --> 00:31:36,670
But I'm paying this out.
981
00:31:36,670 --> 00:31:37,620
I'm writing these checks.
982
00:31:37,670 --> 00:31:37,870
I'm like,
983
00:31:37,870 --> 00:31:38,980
you've got to be kidding me.
984
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:39,850
So, and I,
985
00:31:39,890 --> 00:31:41,410
I have been working on this.
986
00:31:41,470 --> 00:31:43,540
I have been diligently trying to process,
987
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,700
how can I reframe my thinking?
988
00:31:45,700 --> 00:31:47,380
Yes, I'm making money or I,
989
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:48,760
I hope I will make money.
990
00:31:51,550 --> 00:31:52,110
Like, well,
991
00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:53,350
I haven't made this money yet,
992
00:31:53,350 --> 00:31:55,540
but my I'll get it back,
993
00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:55,870
I guess,
994
00:31:55,870 --> 00:31:56,610
from the IRS.
995
00:31:57,550 --> 00:31:58,400
Yeah. I'm not,
996
00:31:58,780 --> 00:32:01,870
I'm not into the letting the government borrow my money for
997
00:32:01,870 --> 00:32:02,980
free. Right.
998
00:32:03,010 --> 00:32:05,680
So I for sure.
999
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:06,970
Still have issues around that.
1000
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,380
Yeah. Okay.
1001
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,210
We got to NRP and LP ourselves.
1002
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:13,960
Oh, alright.
1003
00:32:13,990 --> 00:32:17,560
Next up hiring a house cleaner and or lawn service.
1004
00:32:17,950 --> 00:32:20,710
Okay. That's interesting because in my tenure,
1005
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:25,300
I've had a few housekeepers for short periods of time in
1006
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:25,840
my life.
1007
00:32:25,870 --> 00:32:30,340
And then I always end up at some point saying,
1008
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,840
oh, I could just do this myself.
1009
00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:33,970
Why am I paying someone to do this?
1010
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,810
So I for sure have issues in that area.
1011
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,220
Now the lawn service is different.
1012
00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:42,650
We live on a lot of property and I love working
1013
00:32:42,650 --> 00:32:45,050
outside. So I actually,
1014
00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:46,760
we fight about who gets to mow.
1015
00:32:46,820 --> 00:32:47,960
Cause it's a lot of fun.
1016
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,790
So I love to mow.
1017
00:32:49,790 --> 00:32:50,540
That's not an issue,
1018
00:32:50,540 --> 00:32:54,890
but the housekeeping definitely is something I maybe need to explore.
1019
00:32:55,070 --> 00:32:56,300
Here's another one.
1020
00:32:56,510 --> 00:33:01,310
What if you had a house cleaner coming over and you
1021
00:33:01,310 --> 00:33:03,080
didn't have a whole bunch of work to do,
1022
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:03,590
and you were like,
1023
00:33:03,590 --> 00:33:05,030
I really want to sit down and read,
1024
00:33:05,180 --> 00:33:09,500
but she's cleaning your house Actually had that scenario happen once.
1025
00:33:09,530 --> 00:33:11,720
So right after Evan was born,
1026
00:33:12,050 --> 00:33:13,850
I had a house cleaner and it was the right time
1027
00:33:13,850 --> 00:33:14,300
of my life.
1028
00:33:14,300 --> 00:33:15,350
I had two small children,
1029
00:33:15,350 --> 00:33:16,580
I was shooting 30 weddings.
1030
00:33:16,580 --> 00:33:17,570
I could afford it.
1031
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:23,000
And, and I distinctly remember I took him into my daughter's
1032
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:23,840
room and he was,
1033
00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:24,650
he was an infant.
1034
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:25,490
I mean like newborn,
1035
00:33:26,090 --> 00:33:28,640
he was sleeping on my chest and I was taking a
1036
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,320
nap. I was like in and out dozing in and out,
1037
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:30,490
you know,
1038
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:33,890
cause you're so exhausted and she was cleaning my house and
1039
00:33:33,890 --> 00:33:34,580
I was like,
1040
00:33:34,580 --> 00:33:35,600
thinking to myself,
1041
00:33:35,630 --> 00:33:36,770
I was super,
1042
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,030
super grateful.
1043
00:33:38,270 --> 00:33:40,910
I was so thankful that I,
1044
00:33:41,270 --> 00:33:45,530
at that point had the funds for her help so that
1045
00:33:45,530 --> 00:33:48,620
I could rest with him because I desperately needed it.
1046
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,650
Now, if I just wanted to relax,
1047
00:33:51,650 --> 00:33:52,430
like put my feet up,
1048
00:33:52,430 --> 00:33:53,570
read a book and it wasn't,
1049
00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:54,020
you know,
1050
00:33:54,350 --> 00:33:54,920
I don't know.
1051
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:56,540
I think I would struggle with that.
1052
00:33:56,540 --> 00:33:58,130
I feel like I need to get up and help.
1053
00:34:01,020 --> 00:34:01,490
I mean,
1054
00:34:02,270 --> 00:34:04,340
Oh, when you look at her perspective,
1055
00:34:04,340 --> 00:34:07,100
would she rather have your job of cleaning your house?
1056
00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:08,750
So you can sit and read a book or you get
1057
00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:11,000
up and clean your own house and she not have With
1058
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:11,480
that job.
1059
00:34:11,780 --> 00:34:12,020
You know,
1060
00:34:12,020 --> 00:34:15,260
that's a great reframe because we typically think only think of
1061
00:34:15,260 --> 00:34:16,520
our perspective,
1062
00:34:16,550 --> 00:34:20,930
but you are providing employment for someone who greatly appreciates it.
1063
00:34:20,930 --> 00:34:22,790
So you're absolutely right.
1064
00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:24,380
And I've gone back and forth.
1065
00:34:24,380 --> 00:34:24,860
Like I said,
1066
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:28,070
I've had someone a couple of times throughout different seasons in
1067
00:34:28,070 --> 00:34:28,460
my life.
1068
00:34:28,460 --> 00:34:32,300
I currently do not because I'm telling myself a story and
1069
00:34:32,300 --> 00:34:32,870
that story.
1070
00:34:33,260 --> 00:34:34,250
Yeah, this is a good one.
1071
00:34:34,310 --> 00:34:35,330
Oh, by the way,
1072
00:34:35,390 --> 00:34:36,530
not proud of this,
1073
00:34:36,650 --> 00:34:37,970
I know it's messed up.
1074
00:34:38,420 --> 00:34:39,140
I'm saying,
1075
00:34:39,770 --> 00:34:43,640
well, my kids are older and I have more time.
1076
00:34:43,670 --> 00:34:45,710
I can just do it myself.
1077
00:34:45,710 --> 00:34:48,740
And why would I pay for that when I could?
1078
00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:49,550
And meanwhile,
1079
00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:50,180
it's not,
1080
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,340
it's not terribly expensive,
1081
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,110
at least in our area to hire someone.
1082
00:34:54,110 --> 00:34:54,950
But I think,
1083
00:34:54,950 --> 00:34:55,550
well, I,
1084
00:34:55,700 --> 00:34:56,960
why would I pay someone?
1085
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,520
I could just do it myself.
1086
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,280
And if I hire someone in,
1087
00:35:00,290 --> 00:35:03,470
it's probably just because I'm lazy and I'm lazy.
1088
00:35:03,830 --> 00:35:04,730
Right. I'm not,
1089
00:35:05,150 --> 00:35:07,370
but that's a story that I'm telling myself.
1090
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:09,470
All right,
1091
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,660
we'll dig that one a little deeper later,
1092
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,870
next Step Dinner with friends,
1093
00:35:15,170 --> 00:35:16,130
you don't drink.
1094
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:18,890
And they order a really expensive bottle of wine and you're
1095
00:35:18,890 --> 00:35:19,580
splitting the check.
1096
00:35:20,030 --> 00:35:22,880
Okay. So I struggled with this one.
1097
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:23,630
I do,
1098
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:26,720
but I'm much better than I used to be because my
1099
00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:33,410
husband is the most generous serving person you will ever meet.
1100
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:34,760
And he will,
1101
00:35:35,150 --> 00:35:36,890
he will buy somebody that expensive.
1102
00:35:37,230 --> 00:35:40,530
Okay. So as a result of my husband's behavior,
1103
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:47,280
I have learned to be more generous and in all things,
1104
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,510
but especially in this area.
1105
00:35:48,510 --> 00:35:52,740
So if I go out with friends or I'm anywhere,
1106
00:35:52,740 --> 00:35:53,460
he always,
1107
00:35:53,460 --> 00:35:53,970
when I come home,
1108
00:35:53,970 --> 00:35:55,200
he always says you paid,
1109
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,250
right. Did you pay?
1110
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:58,680
Like, he always wants us to pay.
1111
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:00,930
He always wants to be generous.
1112
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,610
And I am,
1113
00:36:03,060 --> 00:36:05,970
I am because of him because of his influence,
1114
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,170
but there's,
1115
00:36:07,710 --> 00:36:09,750
there's still a small part of the saver.
1116
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:10,620
Heather that's like,
1117
00:36:10,620 --> 00:36:12,780
well, but if they wanted to pay for it,
1118
00:36:12,810 --> 00:36:13,920
I'm going to let them,
1119
00:36:17,790 --> 00:36:19,050
Oh, I love it.
1120
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:19,860
I love it.
1121
00:36:20,580 --> 00:36:22,020
Lock me in a lot of these.
1122
00:36:22,050 --> 00:36:23,370
Yeah. A lot of these,
1123
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:24,420
you know,
1124
00:36:24,420 --> 00:36:27,750
I, I think that's really common for people to,
1125
00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:28,560
you know,
1126
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,840
want to want to save.
1127
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,880
I know I used to be a lot.
1128
00:36:32,910 --> 00:36:36,870
This would have bothered me a lot more before when,
1129
00:36:37,230 --> 00:36:37,530
you know,
1130
00:36:37,530 --> 00:36:39,540
when I was working a job,
1131
00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:39,960
you know,
1132
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,750
I was working in zoological industry making like hardly any money.
1133
00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:45,630
So there wasn't a lot of extra money to go around.
1134
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:47,460
So yeah.
1135
00:36:47,490 --> 00:36:48,090
You know,
1136
00:36:48,450 --> 00:36:50,370
to be able to be a little bit more generous when
1137
00:36:50,370 --> 00:36:51,860
you can is,
1138
00:36:51,860 --> 00:36:52,410
is great.
1139
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:52,950
And I dunno,
1140
00:36:52,950 --> 00:36:54,450
I feel like it all comes out at the end of
1141
00:36:54,450 --> 00:36:54,780
the day.
1142
00:36:54,810 --> 00:36:57,690
Like if there people that you see regularly,
1143
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:58,680
then, you know,
1144
00:36:58,680 --> 00:36:59,640
sometimes we pick it up.
1145
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:00,690
Sometimes they pick it up,
1146
00:37:00,690 --> 00:37:01,020
you know,
1147
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,060
it all evens out eventually.
1148
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:04,020
And it depends,
1149
00:37:04,050 --> 00:37:06,360
it does depend on where you're at and what stage of
1150
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,910
life you're in financially.
1151
00:37:09,330 --> 00:37:12,360
But what I have learned is that in order for more
1152
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:13,260
money to come in,
1153
00:37:13,500 --> 00:37:15,780
more has to go out because you have to let it
1154
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:20,220
flow. And what I was doing was hanging on too tightly.
1155
00:37:20,460 --> 00:37:21,600
And when you do that,
1156
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:22,650
you block it.
1157
00:37:23,130 --> 00:37:27,960
So learning to be more generous has also allowed me to
1158
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:28,950
accept more in.
1159
00:37:29,430 --> 00:37:30,600
Yeah, I love it.
1160
00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:31,170
I love it.
1161
00:37:31,590 --> 00:37:31,950
All right.
1162
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:33,090
This next one.
1163
00:37:33,870 --> 00:37:36,000
This is like my favorite way to spend some money.
1164
00:37:36,390 --> 00:37:37,470
Usually miles though,
1165
00:37:37,470 --> 00:37:38,250
is what I prefer.
1166
00:37:38,310 --> 00:37:41,070
Upgrade to business class on a 10 hour flight.
1167
00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,050
Okay. 10 hour flight.
1168
00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:44,730
Oh, a hundred percent.
1169
00:37:44,730 --> 00:37:45,750
Yes. Well,
1170
00:37:45,750 --> 00:37:46,560
I shouldn't say that.
1171
00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:48,540
Cause it really does depend on the amount,
1172
00:37:49,950 --> 00:37:51,690
like how much are we talking here?
1173
00:37:52,380 --> 00:37:53,280
Oh man,
1174
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:53,940
we'll go.
1175
00:37:53,970 --> 00:37:54,690
We'll go.
1176
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,070
We'll go.
1177
00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:58,110
Like to Europe as if you know,
1178
00:37:58,110 --> 00:37:59,610
you're flying back to Italy again,
1179
00:38:00,090 --> 00:38:02,670
a nine hour flight right now,
1180
00:38:02,670 --> 00:38:04,530
it would be like $1,500.
1181
00:38:04,710 --> 00:38:05,070
I mean,
1182
00:38:05,070 --> 00:38:07,560
this gets more complicated when you're flying a family of four.
1183
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,220
So let's just,
1184
00:38:08,220 --> 00:38:08,730
just you,
1185
00:38:09,780 --> 00:38:10,830
You can't write,
1186
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:12,930
I can't factor that in because the answer would be a
1187
00:38:12,930 --> 00:38:13,650
hard pass,
1188
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,350
except I really don't think I'd have a problem putting my
1189
00:38:16,350 --> 00:38:18,720
family in regular class.
1190
00:38:20,850 --> 00:38:22,050
I haven't gotten there quite yet.
1191
00:38:22,050 --> 00:38:22,350
I'm like,
1192
00:38:22,350 --> 00:38:24,720
how old are the kids have to be and how Kilty
1193
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:25,560
will I feel?
1194
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,780
And they can earn their money.
1195
00:38:27,780 --> 00:38:28,440
They can do it.
1196
00:38:28,710 --> 00:38:31,860
Yeah. It does depend on the season.
1197
00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:34,230
It really depends on where you're at financially.
1198
00:38:34,230 --> 00:38:36,160
And if you're feeling abundant or scarce,
1199
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,880
because there are definitely times there have been times this year
1200
00:38:40,030 --> 00:38:41,170
where I would have been like,
1201
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,190
heck yeah,
1202
00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:44,140
1500 arm in it,
1203
00:38:44,260 --> 00:38:44,710
you know,
1204
00:38:44,710 --> 00:38:46,810
10 hours is worth it because I can sleep.
1205
00:38:46,870 --> 00:38:49,510
But there have been other seasons where I'd be like,
1206
00:38:49,540 --> 00:38:50,380
no way.
1207
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:52,270
There's no way I can spend that.
1208
00:38:52,270 --> 00:38:55,180
So I would though I would,
1209
00:38:55,180 --> 00:38:59,590
if I felt like there was money flowing and I felt,
1210
00:39:00,460 --> 00:39:01,270
And this comes down,
1211
00:39:01,270 --> 00:39:02,980
I think a lot to the individual value.
1212
00:39:02,980 --> 00:39:05,440
Like I value this a lot more than my husband does
1213
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,720
because he can sleep on any plane at any time and
1214
00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:10,660
coach. And so he can still get sleep on a 10
1215
00:39:10,660 --> 00:39:11,260
hour flight.
1216
00:39:11,530 --> 00:39:12,400
I can't like,
1217
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,320
I need to be horizontal in some way.
1218
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:16,570
Like I can sleep on the floor of the plane,
1219
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,040
but I'm not allowed to do that.
1220
00:39:20,140 --> 00:39:23,500
And so I need to sleep and actually something that gets
1221
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:24,340
somewhat horizontal.
1222
00:39:25,090 --> 00:39:25,450
So yeah.
1223
00:39:25,450 --> 00:39:27,490
So my value for that is much higher than I think
1224
00:39:27,490 --> 00:39:28,990
someone that can sleep Well.
1225
00:39:29,260 --> 00:39:31,870
It just depends on your tolerance and your comfort level.
1226
00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:33,490
When we did fly to Italy,
1227
00:39:33,790 --> 00:39:34,720
I actually,
1228
00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:35,980
I wouldn't say the last minute,
1229
00:39:35,980 --> 00:39:37,420
but maybe a month or two prior,
1230
00:39:37,660 --> 00:39:39,880
I looked at upgrading my ticket because I knew I was
1231
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:41,230
going to have a hard time on that flight.
1232
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,910
And my ticket,
1233
00:39:42,970 --> 00:39:45,550
I want to say was originally $600,
1234
00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:49,420
which I thought was really inexpensive to go to Italy and
1235
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:50,830
the upgrade costs.
1236
00:39:51,240 --> 00:39:52,960
I think it was around 7,000,
1237
00:39:54,190 --> 00:39:55,780
Especially for a last minute upgrade.
1238
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,270
Hey, I got a pro Nicole's pro travel tip.
1239
00:39:58,570 --> 00:39:59,260
Are you ready?
1240
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:00,970
Yeah. So you buy your economy,
1241
00:40:00,970 --> 00:40:01,750
class ticket,
1242
00:40:02,050 --> 00:40:02,290
you know,
1243
00:40:02,290 --> 00:40:03,130
your 600,
1244
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:04,630
$800 ticket to Europe.
1245
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:07,300
And then if you have some miles on that airline,
1246
00:40:07,390 --> 00:40:11,920
you request a mileage upgrade and they'd all do it ahead
1247
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:12,400
of time.
1248
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,870
But if it's like 24 hours,
1249
00:40:13,930 --> 00:40:17,260
24 hours before the flight and they haven't sold for cash,
1250
00:40:17,260 --> 00:40:18,550
those business class seats,
1251
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,820
they will let you upgrade for miles and usually a little
1252
00:40:21,820 --> 00:40:22,570
bit of cash.
1253
00:40:22,870 --> 00:40:25,450
So I did this going to Spain way back in the
1254
00:40:25,450 --> 00:40:27,430
day I bought the ticket and then I did the mile
1255
00:40:27,430 --> 00:40:28,870
upgrade. It was like 20,000
1256
00:40:28,870 --> 00:40:30,370
miles and 300 bucks.
1257
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,460
Yeah. And we're doing,
1258
00:40:33,460 --> 00:40:34,780
we're going to Iceland in September.
1259
00:40:34,780 --> 00:40:36,430
So we have a client economy tickets,
1260
00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:38,110
but we're on the mileage upgrade.
1261
00:40:38,110 --> 00:40:40,540
So I think it's like 500 bucks an hour and I'm
1262
00:40:40,630 --> 00:40:41,530
like 25,000
1263
00:40:41,530 --> 00:40:42,280
miles. And I'm like,
1264
00:40:42,970 --> 00:40:43,870
yes, yes.
1265
00:40:44,620 --> 00:40:46,030
That's how you guys can get in the front of the
1266
00:40:46,030 --> 00:40:48,340
plane for a much less money.
1267
00:40:48,670 --> 00:40:50,770
Yes. Follow me for more travel tips.
1268
00:40:50,830 --> 00:40:51,940
Right. Okay.
1269
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:53,050
Next step.
1270
00:40:53,110 --> 00:40:55,480
So that is spending money next up.
1271
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:59,020
We want to talk about receiving money because when I say,
1272
00:40:59,020 --> 00:41:00,340
how do you feel about receiving money,
1273
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:01,240
Heather? What do you say?
1274
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:02,770
Oh, Bring it.
1275
00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:05,290
I couldn't receive any kind of money.
1276
00:41:05,290 --> 00:41:09,250
I have no problem receiving money.
1277
00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:13,630
Okay. I'm to hold you to that.
1278
00:41:13,930 --> 00:41:16,720
Someone owes you money and you need to ask about it.
1279
00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:17,380
Yeah. Nope.
1280
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,130
That's not happening.
1281
00:41:18,850 --> 00:41:25,690
So I would really struggle with that because I feel awkward
1282
00:41:25,690 --> 00:41:27,670
because I don't like confrontation.
1283
00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:30,190
And I feel like that would be because I tell myself
1284
00:41:30,190 --> 00:41:31,900
a story that it would be confrontational,
1285
00:41:31,900 --> 00:41:33,620
which is not necessarily the right.
1286
00:41:33,620 --> 00:41:35,240
I can NLP myself too.
1287
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:35,660
You know,
1288
00:41:35,690 --> 00:41:37,700
I know that that's a belief that I have,
1289
00:41:37,700 --> 00:41:39,260
like asking for what someone owes.
1290
00:41:39,260 --> 00:41:41,960
You should just be a conversation like,
1291
00:41:42,020 --> 00:41:43,820
right. Don't forget you owe me that money,
1292
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,700
but I don't know that I could do it.
1293
00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:50,090
And so I have a general rule about that.
1294
00:41:50,090 --> 00:41:50,660
Do you want to hear it?
1295
00:41:51,620 --> 00:41:54,050
Which is if somebody asks us to borrow money,
1296
00:41:54,170 --> 00:41:57,560
we as a couple decide if we can afford to give
1297
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,750
it to them without wanting it in return,
1298
00:42:00,620 --> 00:42:02,330
especially if it's a friend or a family,
1299
00:42:02,810 --> 00:42:07,130
and it's only actually ever happened one time in our lives
1300
00:42:07,130 --> 00:42:10,100
where somebody came to us asking for a significant amount of
1301
00:42:10,100 --> 00:42:13,250
money and it was a difficult discussion.
1302
00:42:13,550 --> 00:42:17,030
And we decided to give the person the money because we
1303
00:42:17,030 --> 00:42:20,990
didn't want maybe I don't know any tension or anything in
1304
00:42:20,990 --> 00:42:23,930
the relationship about owing money or making payments.
1305
00:42:23,930 --> 00:42:25,220
So we gifted them,
1306
00:42:25,220 --> 00:42:26,450
the money I still have.
1307
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,420
Okay. Teeny tiny little bit of an attitude about that.
1308
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:30,230
Because again,
1309
00:42:30,230 --> 00:42:32,690
my husband is super generous and to him it's like,
1310
00:42:33,140 --> 00:42:33,350
oh yeah,
1311
00:42:33,370 --> 00:42:34,580
sure, no problem.
1312
00:42:34,910 --> 00:42:35,240
And I'm like,
1313
00:42:35,630 --> 00:42:38,360
okay, think about this.
1314
00:42:39,380 --> 00:42:39,830
But it was,
1315
00:42:39,860 --> 00:42:42,020
it ended up being fine.
1316
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:42,650
I mean,
1317
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,590
we didn't ask for it back and I wouldn't want to,
1318
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:46,220
what about you?
1319
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:48,590
Well, I know this is so hard.
1320
00:42:48,590 --> 00:42:52,030
And I think part of it is the,
1321
00:42:52,030 --> 00:42:54,080
the story I make up of confrontation,
1322
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:55,250
which, I mean,
1323
00:42:55,940 --> 00:42:57,680
if they're going to get confrontational,
1324
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,660
like, do I actually care about that relationship?
1325
00:42:59,660 --> 00:43:00,350
Probably not.
1326
00:43:01,010 --> 00:43:01,970
But the other one,
1327
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:05,090
I think the bigger one that we don't see is that
1328
00:43:05,090 --> 00:43:07,460
we think if we're asking for money,
1329
00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:10,640
then they're going to judge us as being like,
1330
00:43:10,700 --> 00:43:12,440
only caring about the money more than them.
1331
00:43:12,620 --> 00:43:13,160
That's right.
1332
00:43:13,610 --> 00:43:13,940
That's right.
1333
00:43:13,970 --> 00:43:14,810
Or I'm going to,
1334
00:43:14,810 --> 00:43:16,400
it's going to look like I need money.
1335
00:43:16,550 --> 00:43:17,240
Yeah. No,
1336
00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:17,780
for me,
1337
00:43:17,780 --> 00:43:20,810
my, at least it feels more aligned for me that I
1338
00:43:20,810 --> 00:43:21,290
am care.
1339
00:43:21,290 --> 00:43:23,720
I am caring more about what they think of me,
1340
00:43:23,780 --> 00:43:26,690
of what me asking for the money says about me and
1341
00:43:26,690 --> 00:43:28,700
my values and where,
1342
00:43:29,150 --> 00:43:30,290
where what I value.
1343
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:32,720
So that just goes to show you,
1344
00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:33,800
we could have a different,
1345
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:35,360
we're projecting different things,
1346
00:43:36,230 --> 00:43:37,520
right. Because for me,
1347
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:38,000
it's like,
1348
00:43:38,030 --> 00:43:40,010
I don't want them to think I'm in need of money.
1349
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:41,780
I want to say,
1350
00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:43,760
well, you can you pay back this money?
1351
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:44,450
It's not that I need it.
1352
00:43:44,570 --> 00:43:45,050
Not that I need it.
1353
00:43:45,050 --> 00:43:45,500
We're fine.
1354
00:43:45,530 --> 00:43:46,190
We're fine.
1355
00:43:46,190 --> 00:43:47,090
It's totally violent.
1356
00:43:47,210 --> 00:43:47,510
You know,
1357
00:43:47,510 --> 00:43:48,020
I like,
1358
00:43:48,050 --> 00:43:52,250
I don't want that person to think that I'm not managing
1359
00:43:52,250 --> 00:43:53,180
well. Ah,
1360
00:43:53,300 --> 00:43:54,140
interesting. Yeah.
1361
00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:55,730
Totally. All right.
1362
00:43:55,730 --> 00:43:56,510
Here's a good one.
1363
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:01,940
Sharing the total for a very large photography order.
1364
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:03,830
No, this has happened to me a lot where they're like
1365
00:44:03,860 --> 00:44:07,580
ordering wall images for this wall and that wall and this
1366
00:44:07,580 --> 00:44:09,410
part and an album and the digital files.
1367
00:44:09,410 --> 00:44:09,830
And I'm like,
1368
00:44:10,540 --> 00:44:11,030
my God,
1369
00:44:11,030 --> 00:44:12,470
did they look at the price guide?
1370
00:44:12,470 --> 00:44:13,430
Do they know what this is?
1371
00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:15,980
And then you're like,
1372
00:44:16,050 --> 00:44:17,660
have to say the amount.
1373
00:44:17,660 --> 00:44:19,280
And you're like,
1374
00:44:27,530 --> 00:44:28,430
Wow, I,
1375
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:32,220
I do it without an issue outwardly,
1376
00:44:32,220 --> 00:44:34,500
but there is a little bit of an internal struggle.
1377
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,530
And I actually remember distinctly you and I had this conversation.
1378
00:44:37,530 --> 00:44:40,350
You had a client in Pittsburgh who I think it was,
1379
00:44:40,410 --> 00:44:42,060
I'm pretty sure it was over 5,000.
1380
00:44:42,420 --> 00:44:45,750
And you said you slid the invoice across like whatever the
1381
00:44:45,750 --> 00:44:46,980
table to them.
1382
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:47,940
And in your head,
1383
00:44:47,940 --> 00:44:48,480
you were saying,
1384
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:48,780
shut up,
1385
00:44:48,780 --> 00:44:49,410
Nicole, shut up,
1386
00:44:49,410 --> 00:44:50,040
Nicole, shut up.
1387
00:44:50,730 --> 00:44:53,520
Like whatever was happening because here's what we want to do.
1388
00:44:53,670 --> 00:44:54,480
We want to say like,
1389
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,840
oh, I'm going to give you a 10% volume discount because
1390
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,860
you spent so much money.
1391
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,310
And that's because we're insecure about what we're about to ask
1392
00:45:02,310 --> 00:45:04,740
for. But if you recognize that you can say,
1393
00:45:04,740 --> 00:45:05,690
okay, I'm experiencing,
1394
00:45:05,730 --> 00:45:08,670
you can have this internal dialogue I'm experiencing this moment.
1395
00:45:08,910 --> 00:45:11,550
And they're not asking for a discount in the name of
1396
00:45:11,730 --> 00:45:15,270
Mike, would you give a discount when nobody's even asking for
1397
00:45:15,270 --> 00:45:18,780
it? So you just slid the invoice across and like,
1398
00:45:18,780 --> 00:45:19,500
there's your total.
1399
00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:19,890
And they,
1400
00:45:20,130 --> 00:45:20,400
you know,
1401
00:45:20,430 --> 00:45:22,320
pull out their checkbook or their credit card and they pay
1402
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:23,120
it and it's done.
1403
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,350
And you walk out with some relief,
1404
00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:27,320
but there's still some resistance.
1405
00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:30,930
Yeah. And I think that comes down for a lot of
1406
00:45:30,930 --> 00:45:33,840
things. I think a lot of us have this.
1407
00:45:33,990 --> 00:45:36,840
I don't know if it's a belief or we just look
1408
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,000
at what we value and what we'd spend money on.
1409
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,370
And I think a lot of us are not necessarily our
1410
00:45:41,370 --> 00:45:43,110
own client where we would be like,
1411
00:45:43,740 --> 00:45:44,580
well, two reasons.
1412
00:45:44,580 --> 00:45:45,600
I think number one,
1413
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,820
I think we do have this money story that was like,
1414
00:45:47,850 --> 00:45:48,510
oh my God,
1415
00:45:49,050 --> 00:45:51,780
there's no way I'd spend that much money on photos.
1416
00:45:52,140 --> 00:45:54,420
But I think we also,
1417
00:45:54,420 --> 00:45:58,620
that is doubled down by the fact that I'm not going
1418
00:45:58,620 --> 00:46:00,900
to spend that much money on photos because we have the
1419
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:03,150
ability to do so much of it ourselves.
1420
00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:04,800
Right. For instance,
1421
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:06,540
if I was super handy,
1422
00:46:06,870 --> 00:46:09,810
there's no way I'd pay someone to come hang a TV
1423
00:46:09,810 --> 00:46:14,490
on my wall because I'm not that money to spend,
1424
00:46:14,490 --> 00:46:16,410
to have someone come do that is a heck of a
1425
00:46:16,410 --> 00:46:17,730
lot more valuable to me.
1426
00:46:18,180 --> 00:46:20,160
Yes. So to our clients,
1427
00:46:20,550 --> 00:46:22,470
what we're delivering to them,
1428
00:46:23,010 --> 00:46:26,990
I think has a whole lot more value to them than
1429
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:27,450
it does.
1430
00:46:28,470 --> 00:46:30,240
I have never heard that before.
1431
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:32,550
And I love that thought.
1432
00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:36,240
I I'm actually processing this still as you were speaking.
1433
00:46:36,240 --> 00:46:37,710
So what you're saying is that,
1434
00:46:37,830 --> 00:46:40,620
because we know how to take photographs,
1435
00:46:41,070 --> 00:46:42,780
we wouldn't necessarily add,
1436
00:46:42,780 --> 00:46:44,220
we're not our ideal client.
1437
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:47,070
We wouldn't necessarily pay for us because we could do it
1438
00:46:47,070 --> 00:46:50,430
ourselves. So the value is just not the same Or we're
1439
00:46:50,430 --> 00:46:50,880
like, oh,
1440
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:52,860
I have some friends we can swap with.
1441
00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:53,790
You know what I mean?
1442
00:46:53,790 --> 00:46:54,810
Like I can,
1443
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:55,710
I can get this.
1444
00:46:55,860 --> 00:46:57,720
Basically. I can get an industry site,
1445
00:46:57,750 --> 00:47:02,220
industry, insider discount Thought that.
1446
00:47:02,610 --> 00:47:04,830
Yeah. But I think there's another piece to it too.
1447
00:47:04,830 --> 00:47:05,700
For instance,
1448
00:47:05,910 --> 00:47:08,550
when we see something that is just like,
1449
00:47:08,790 --> 00:47:09,630
oh my gosh,
1450
00:47:09,690 --> 00:47:10,500
I need to have this.
1451
00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,280
For instance,
1452
00:47:11,340 --> 00:47:12,480
just two years ago,
1453
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:14,580
maybe I got new photos of myself.
1454
00:47:14,610 --> 00:47:20,820
We're getting photos done down here and beautiful Photos in fact
1455
00:47:20,820 --> 00:47:21,150
so much.
1456
00:47:21,150 --> 00:47:21,810
So, you know,
1457
00:47:21,810 --> 00:47:24,420
Nicole, I actually contemplated coming to visit you at hiring that
1458
00:47:24,420 --> 00:47:26,760
photographer, Carrie Allen photography.
1459
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,740
And she is amazing right here in Charlotte.
1460
00:47:28,870 --> 00:47:30,130
Yes. I mean,
1461
00:47:30,130 --> 00:47:33,460
I, cause I knew exactly what I wanted and it was
1462
00:47:33,460 --> 00:47:34,720
really hard to find.
1463
00:47:34,750 --> 00:47:35,560
And so then when,
1464
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,930
and I knew I couldn't do that myself and I had
1465
00:47:37,930 --> 00:47:39,220
some friends that could do it,
1466
00:47:39,220 --> 00:47:40,900
but they lived all over the place.
1467
00:47:40,900 --> 00:47:41,170
I mean,
1468
00:47:41,170 --> 00:47:41,920
I, but,
1469
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,120
and I can't ask them like,
1470
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:45,520
Hey, I'll fly you down here and take a couple days
1471
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:46,330
out of your life.
1472
00:47:46,330 --> 00:47:47,260
Like it's not going to happen.
1473
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:47,950
So anyway,
1474
00:47:47,980 --> 00:47:50,620
but when I found her and I was like,
1475
00:47:50,620 --> 00:47:51,250
this is it.
1476
00:47:51,730 --> 00:47:52,840
I would have paid anything.
1477
00:47:53,230 --> 00:47:55,180
Right. No,
1478
00:47:55,180 --> 00:47:55,750
raise your prices.
1479
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,760
So you're totally worth it.
1480
00:47:58,030 --> 00:48:00,610
Right. That's interesting.
1481
00:48:01,060 --> 00:48:01,840
Yeah. So Anyway,
1482
00:48:02,050 --> 00:48:02,380
all right.
1483
00:48:02,710 --> 00:48:03,850
Okay. Here's a new one.
1484
00:48:03,850 --> 00:48:04,330
Here's a good one.
1485
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:05,110
Oh, this is fun.
1486
00:48:05,140 --> 00:48:05,680
This is fun.
1487
00:48:05,860 --> 00:48:09,010
Borrowing $10 since you forgot your wallet for a friend.
1488
00:48:09,370 --> 00:48:09,910
No big deal.
1489
00:48:09,910 --> 00:48:11,080
Right? Well,
1490
00:48:11,770 --> 00:48:12,550
I Got me,
1491
00:48:12,550 --> 00:48:16,330
if you and I went out to lunch or something and
1492
00:48:16,330 --> 00:48:17,680
they didn't take apple pay,
1493
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:18,880
so you couldn't get your phone.
1494
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:19,210
And you're like,
1495
00:48:19,630 --> 00:48:20,740
oh, I left my wallet at home.
1496
00:48:20,740 --> 00:48:21,760
I'm going to borrow some money.
1497
00:48:22,090 --> 00:48:22,870
Yeah, it's fine.
1498
00:48:23,470 --> 00:48:26,140
But what if you'd left your wallet at home?
1499
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,480
Your car was on like empty the gas station.
1500
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:31,180
Didn't take apple pay and you needed money to get home.
1501
00:48:31,180 --> 00:48:32,440
And you had to ask a stranger.
1502
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,170
This actually somewhat happened to me.
1503
00:48:35,170 --> 00:48:35,980
Not too long ago.
1504
00:48:36,460 --> 00:48:40,570
I had put my wallet in my camera bag and I
1505
00:48:40,570 --> 00:48:42,700
had brought my camera bag into the house.
1506
00:48:42,790 --> 00:48:46,840
And then I laughed and I was driving to a store.
1507
00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,610
Actually. I was driving out to why I'm camera.
1508
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:51,610
Okay. I didn't need my camera bag because I had been
1509
00:48:51,610 --> 00:48:53,230
shooting maybe the day prior I put my,
1510
00:48:53,250 --> 00:48:55,690
I had my purse and my car was like on a
1511
00:48:55,690 --> 00:48:56,260
quarter tank.
1512
00:48:56,260 --> 00:48:57,610
I never let it go below a quarter.
1513
00:48:57,610 --> 00:48:57,850
When I,
1514
00:48:57,910 --> 00:48:58,840
when it's a quarter tank,
1515
00:48:58,840 --> 00:48:59,980
I go get gas.
1516
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:00,250
You know,
1517
00:49:00,250 --> 00:49:02,380
I'm not that person that runs it to the light.
1518
00:49:02,380 --> 00:49:04,150
The light on my car has never come on.
1519
00:49:04,150 --> 00:49:05,410
It's just not a thing for me.
1520
00:49:06,100 --> 00:49:08,530
So I have a plan.
1521
00:49:08,530 --> 00:49:09,340
I'm going to get gas,
1522
00:49:09,340 --> 00:49:09,580
you know,
1523
00:49:09,580 --> 00:49:11,080
when I get close to why I'm camera,
1524
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:12,520
because actually in Ohio,
1525
00:49:13,240 --> 00:49:13,750
from Pennsylvania,
1526
00:49:13,750 --> 00:49:14,800
it's super cheap.
1527
00:49:14,830 --> 00:49:15,040
I mean,
1528
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,990
much, Much cheaper too.
1529
00:49:16,990 --> 00:49:18,250
And they put it for yes,
1530
00:49:18,460 --> 00:49:20,680
Yes. So I was like,
1531
00:49:20,710 --> 00:49:21,760
oh, I'll just get it in Ohio.
1532
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,670
So I pull into the gas station and I,
1533
00:49:23,780 --> 00:49:24,070
and I,
1534
00:49:24,070 --> 00:49:25,480
as soon as I grabbed my purse,
1535
00:49:25,510 --> 00:49:26,050
I knew it.
1536
00:49:26,740 --> 00:49:31,480
Now I always have a spare $20 bill in my glove
1537
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,390
compartment. And one of the kids had taken it out for
1538
00:49:34,390 --> 00:49:36,010
something and I didn't replace it.
1539
00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:36,370
I know.
1540
00:49:37,090 --> 00:49:39,910
And probably that would Have been me Probably.
1541
00:49:40,150 --> 00:49:41,850
And so funny you say that,
1542
00:49:41,860 --> 00:49:44,230
cause it almost for sure was ice cream.
1543
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,380
So I'm at the gas station and I'm like,
1544
00:49:48,130 --> 00:49:49,570
oh my goodness.
1545
00:49:49,930 --> 00:49:52,090
I know HIO now I'm in Ohio.
1546
00:49:52,090 --> 00:49:53,770
So I'm about an hour away from home.
1547
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:54,820
I won't okay.
1548
00:49:54,850 --> 00:49:56,260
Maybe I could have made it home on that tank.
1549
00:49:56,260 --> 00:49:56,590
I don't know,
1550
00:49:56,590 --> 00:49:58,120
but I'm not the type of person that would try.
1551
00:49:58,210 --> 00:50:01,030
So I had stopped for gas before going to the camera
1552
00:50:01,030 --> 00:50:01,990
store. So I go into,
1553
00:50:01,990 --> 00:50:04,780
I am camera and I am like mortified,
1554
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,270
red faced like embarrassed.
1555
00:50:07,510 --> 00:50:11,350
I was so embarrassed and these are very good friends of
1556
00:50:11,350 --> 00:50:13,810
mine. And I said to Robbie,
1557
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:14,380
I said,
1558
00:50:14,380 --> 00:50:16,090
I'm S I cannot believe I did this.
1559
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,130
I left my wallet at home.
1560
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:19,570
I am completely out of gas.
1561
00:50:19,570 --> 00:50:20,920
Could I borrow $20?
1562
00:50:21,100 --> 00:50:24,490
And I will Venmo you the minute I get home,
1563
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:25,060
or right now,
1564
00:50:25,090 --> 00:50:27,160
actually I can Venmo you right now on my phone.
1565
00:50:27,350 --> 00:50:27,920
I just,
1566
00:50:28,130 --> 00:50:29,180
I can't believe I did this.
1567
00:50:29,180 --> 00:50:30,410
And he was laughing and he's like,
1568
00:50:30,410 --> 00:50:30,950
Heather's like,
1569
00:50:30,950 --> 00:50:31,520
no big deal.
1570
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:32,030
Here's the 20,
1571
00:50:32,030 --> 00:50:32,270
you know,
1572
00:50:32,270 --> 00:50:33,470
like, who cares?
1573
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:35,960
What was going on for me?
1574
00:50:36,170 --> 00:50:36,500
Yeah. Well,
1575
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:37,430
what's going on in your head?
1576
00:50:37,430 --> 00:50:39,320
What were you making it mean?
1577
00:50:39,350 --> 00:50:44,810
That you would think That I'm an idiot and it didn't
1578
00:50:44,810 --> 00:50:45,920
have anything.
1579
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,790
Maybe I don't think to do with the money per se.
1580
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:50,810
It was like,
1581
00:50:51,050 --> 00:50:51,980
Wait, you don't have it all together.
1582
00:50:51,980 --> 00:50:52,730
Yeah, yeah,
1583
00:50:52,790 --> 00:50:54,320
Exactly. Oh my gosh.
1584
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:56,240
Bingo. That's it.
1585
00:50:56,330 --> 00:50:59,660
I want you to think I have it all together.
1586
00:50:59,990 --> 00:51:04,580
And if I feel like you perceive me as not having
1587
00:51:04,580 --> 00:51:05,420
it altogether,
1588
00:51:05,450 --> 00:51:05,960
I am,
1589
00:51:06,470 --> 00:51:07,700
am destroyed.
1590
00:51:07,850 --> 00:51:08,600
And that's,
1591
00:51:08,810 --> 00:51:09,980
which I know is ridiculous.
1592
00:51:10,010 --> 00:51:10,370
You guys,
1593
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,090
I understand.
1594
00:51:11,090 --> 00:51:11,810
It's ridiculous.
1595
00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,210
But I was so embarrassed by that.
1596
00:51:14,210 --> 00:51:17,090
So I can't imagine asking a stranger.
1597
00:51:18,260 --> 00:51:19,010
Right, Right.
1598
00:51:19,070 --> 00:51:19,940
Yeah. No,
1599
00:51:19,970 --> 00:51:20,960
it's like bringing up,
1600
00:51:21,020 --> 00:51:23,390
like, I can literally feel this in my body right now.
1601
00:51:23,660 --> 00:51:25,460
I'll usually have some work to uncover there.
1602
00:51:25,940 --> 00:51:26,270
And I,
1603
00:51:26,270 --> 00:51:27,950
again, I don't think it's the money.
1604
00:51:27,950 --> 00:51:31,880
I think it's the perfectionism like The judge.
1605
00:51:32,090 --> 00:51:34,940
And I think so much of this is what are people
1606
00:51:34,940 --> 00:51:35,720
thinking of me?
1607
00:51:35,870 --> 00:51:37,820
How are other people judging me,
1608
00:51:37,820 --> 00:51:40,220
perceiving me because of these things.
1609
00:51:40,490 --> 00:51:42,320
Because even though we say we don't care,
1610
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,300
we do because you know,
1611
00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:45,020
deep way,
1612
00:51:45,020 --> 00:51:45,410
you know,
1613
00:51:45,410 --> 00:51:47,000
in our subconscious,
1614
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,380
if nobody likes us,
1615
00:51:48,410 --> 00:51:50,660
then we starve and we're alone and we Die.
1616
00:51:50,690 --> 00:51:51,500
We're not accepted.
1617
00:51:51,530 --> 00:51:52,220
Right. Right.
1618
00:51:52,700 --> 00:51:53,660
Yeah. All right.
1619
00:51:54,050 --> 00:51:54,590
Okay. Moving on,
1620
00:51:55,850 --> 00:51:56,810
raising your prices.
1621
00:51:57,590 --> 00:51:59,720
I had no problem ever raising my prices.
1622
00:51:59,780 --> 00:52:03,230
I was always on the cutting edge of this with no
1623
00:52:03,230 --> 00:52:04,310
disregard. I mean,
1624
00:52:04,310 --> 00:52:05,780
like throw it all out the window,
1625
00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:07,460
the prices are going up a thousand dollars,
1626
00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:11,600
$2,000. I was always pushing the limits on pricing because I
1627
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:13,400
thought it was fun and exciting.
1628
00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:14,600
And Hmm,
1629
00:52:14,660 --> 00:52:15,380
listen to this.
1630
00:52:15,530 --> 00:52:16,580
I also,
1631
00:52:17,060 --> 00:52:17,750
in some sense,
1632
00:52:17,750 --> 00:52:19,010
didn't feel like it was up to me.
1633
00:52:19,070 --> 00:52:22,130
And what I mean by that is that I look at
1634
00:52:22,310 --> 00:52:26,690
prices in some cases as a very basic supply demand model,
1635
00:52:27,020 --> 00:52:28,130
very black and white.
1636
00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:31,610
If there is more demand for the supply,
1637
00:52:32,060 --> 00:52:33,770
then the price has to go up.
1638
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:37,250
I was always busier than I wanted to be.
1639
00:52:37,430 --> 00:52:40,880
I had more clients that I wanted or needed,
1640
00:52:41,300 --> 00:52:43,880
which told me to raise the prices.
1641
00:52:44,180 --> 00:52:47,720
So it was not ever an emotional decision for me.
1642
00:52:47,720 --> 00:52:49,700
It was straight up business.
1643
00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:52,100
It was economics supply demand.
1644
00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:55,130
I don't have enough time to photograph all of these weddings.
1645
00:52:55,370 --> 00:52:59,690
And I'm getting multiple requests for the same date for people
1646
00:52:59,690 --> 00:53:01,010
who want to book me,
1647
00:53:01,250 --> 00:53:02,720
the price needs to go up.
1648
00:53:02,810 --> 00:53:04,190
And I just kept doing that.
1649
00:53:04,250 --> 00:53:07,100
And things definitely slowed down in each time.
1650
00:53:07,100 --> 00:53:08,120
You know what I did find though,
1651
00:53:08,210 --> 00:53:10,040
and this is just me being a scientist,
1652
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:11,360
and this is a big experiment.
1653
00:53:11,360 --> 00:53:11,720
You know,
1654
00:53:11,810 --> 00:53:14,540
every time I would go over a thousand dollar mark.
1655
00:53:14,540 --> 00:53:16,670
So say from 2,800
1656
00:53:16,670 --> 00:53:18,410
to 3000 or 3,200
1657
00:53:18,410 --> 00:53:19,400
or 38 to four,
1658
00:53:19,490 --> 00:53:20,660
there would always be,
1659
00:53:20,930 --> 00:53:21,290
you know,
1660
00:53:21,290 --> 00:53:22,400
it's slowed down a little bit.
1661
00:53:22,430 --> 00:53:24,800
People would hesitate cause it went over a certain number and
1662
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:25,980
then it would pick back up.
1663
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:26,580
And then I would,
1664
00:53:26,610 --> 00:53:27,000
you know,
1665
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,530
a year later do it again,
1666
00:53:28,590 --> 00:53:29,280
Slowed down.
1667
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:30,240
What did you tell yourself?
1668
00:53:30,270 --> 00:53:30,660
Did you,
1669
00:53:30,690 --> 00:53:32,340
did you have a moment of like,
1670
00:53:32,610 --> 00:53:33,060
oh man,
1671
00:53:34,050 --> 00:53:35,400
I don't know that I did.
1672
00:53:35,580 --> 00:53:37,740
I don't recall feeling that way.
1673
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,370
Maybe, maybe for a split second,
1674
00:53:41,370 --> 00:53:43,500
I would hesitate and think was that the right move?
1675
00:53:43,500 --> 00:53:44,940
And then I would say to myself,
1676
00:53:44,970 --> 00:53:50,010
no, they're going to book later in the season because budget
1677
00:53:50,010 --> 00:53:52,140
bride, typically books a year and a year and a half
1678
00:53:52,140 --> 00:53:56,040
in advance and a bride that does not have a budget
1679
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,130
means that she's going to book maybe six to nine months
1680
00:53:59,130 --> 00:53:59,640
in advance.
1681
00:53:59,670 --> 00:54:01,530
And if I fell off my date,
1682
00:54:01,530 --> 00:54:02,430
yes, fast.
1683
00:54:02,460 --> 00:54:03,330
Well, listen to this.
1684
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:04,920
A bride gets engaged at Christmas.
1685
00:54:04,980 --> 00:54:05,670
So December,
1686
00:54:05,670 --> 00:54:07,200
right. There's two types.
1687
00:54:07,470 --> 00:54:08,400
There's one bride.
1688
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,400
So say a bride gets engaged December,
1689
00:54:11,850 --> 00:54:14,490
2021. There is a budget bride who will get married in
1690
00:54:14,490 --> 00:54:17,370
the summer of 23.
1691
00:54:17,370 --> 00:54:20,280
So a year and a half engagement,
1692
00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:21,960
those brides were booking me.
1693
00:54:22,290 --> 00:54:25,020
Yeah. The other type of bride that gets engaged at Christmas
1694
00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:27,330
plans, a wedding in June for six months out because she
1695
00:54:27,330 --> 00:54:28,890
doesn't have budgetary issues.
1696
00:54:28,890 --> 00:54:31,650
If my dates are all filled with the broads booked a
1697
00:54:31,650 --> 00:54:32,310
year and a half ago,
1698
00:54:32,370 --> 00:54:34,650
I could not accommodate the high-end bride.
1699
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:35,890
Yeah. And I,
1700
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:37,920
I recognize that pretty early on.
1701
00:54:38,340 --> 00:54:41,460
So I raised the price so that,
1702
00:54:41,730 --> 00:54:45,870
and I still had people booking me a year and a
1703
00:54:45,870 --> 00:54:46,470
half in advance.
1704
00:54:46,500 --> 00:54:46,710
I mean,
1705
00:54:46,710 --> 00:54:47,790
that's still gonna happen.
1706
00:54:48,030 --> 00:54:52,290
But typically I was getting my bookings like nine to 12
1707
00:54:52,290 --> 00:54:52,890
months in advance,
1708
00:54:52,890 --> 00:54:55,260
as opposed to 18 months or two years in advance.
1709
00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,110
And so raising my prices just made sense because I thought
1710
00:54:58,290 --> 00:55:02,010
I'm not going to be the same photographer this year than
1711
00:55:02,010 --> 00:55:03,840
I am next year or the following year.
1712
00:55:03,930 --> 00:55:05,190
Yeah. And you're like,
1713
00:55:05,190 --> 00:55:06,210
I don't want to give up a Saturday,
1714
00:55:06,210 --> 00:55:06,900
two years from now,
1715
00:55:06,900 --> 00:55:08,940
but that's a whole nother story.
1716
00:55:08,970 --> 00:55:10,020
That's a whole nother,
1717
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:11,910
another limiting thing.
1718
00:55:11,940 --> 00:55:13,290
Okay. Last one.
1719
00:55:13,530 --> 00:55:16,980
What about receiving a $500 financial gift?
1720
00:55:17,910 --> 00:55:18,810
Easy. Thank you.
1721
00:55:18,810 --> 00:55:23,490
Okay. Then what about a $500,000
1722
00:55:23,550 --> 00:55:24,390
financial gift?
1723
00:55:25,740 --> 00:55:29,790
We'll see What is there to Mount or all of a
1724
00:55:29,790 --> 00:55:30,450
sudden you're like,
1725
00:55:30,450 --> 00:55:32,550
whoa, what strings are attached?
1726
00:55:32,580 --> 00:55:33,690
Or like,
1727
00:55:33,690 --> 00:55:34,410
it isn't like,
1728
00:55:34,410 --> 00:55:34,650
you know,
1729
00:55:34,650 --> 00:55:36,000
it isn't like a parent that,
1730
00:55:36,060 --> 00:55:36,330
you know,
1731
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,850
passed away and had something like,
1732
00:55:38,850 --> 00:55:41,640
this is like some random aunt or something.
1733
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:42,900
That's just like still alive.
1734
00:55:42,930 --> 00:55:43,710
They didn't pass away.
1735
00:55:43,890 --> 00:55:45,810
There's like here I have $50,000.
1736
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,980
I feel like I have imagined this scenario and been very
1737
00:55:49,980 --> 00:55:50,730
open to it.
1738
00:55:50,820 --> 00:55:52,020
I honestly have,
1739
00:55:52,380 --> 00:55:53,490
like, I have this,
1740
00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:55,710
I have a lot of Antonin goals and I think,
1741
00:55:55,860 --> 00:55:57,420
and I have great relationships with all of them.
1742
00:55:57,720 --> 00:55:59,400
I think one day somebody is just going to give me
1743
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:00,270
like two 50,
1744
00:56:00,630 --> 00:56:00,870
you know,
1745
00:56:01,260 --> 00:56:04,500
250,000. So I really don't think I haven't.
1746
00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:04,890
I mean,
1747
00:56:04,890 --> 00:56:05,430
I don't know.
1748
00:56:05,430 --> 00:56:06,840
I guess I won't know what happens,
1749
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:07,380
but I just,
1750
00:56:07,380 --> 00:56:10,620
my, I would be very humbled of course,
1751
00:56:10,620 --> 00:56:12,120
and very grateful and thankful.
1752
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:13,230
That's amazing.
1753
00:56:13,290 --> 00:56:16,170
But I also look at it like if this person has
1754
00:56:16,170 --> 00:56:16,710
enough money,
1755
00:56:16,710 --> 00:56:19,950
that they can be that generous and they choose you or
1756
00:56:19,950 --> 00:56:20,940
they choose me to,
1757
00:56:21,420 --> 00:56:23,910
to offer that to that.
1758
00:56:23,910 --> 00:56:24,970
That's an honor.
1759
00:56:25,030 --> 00:56:26,860
And I think not accepting,
1760
00:56:26,860 --> 00:56:28,450
it would be quite rude to be on.
1761
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:30,520
Yeah. I don't want to be rude.
1762
00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:30,810
So I'll,
1763
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:31,570
I'll, I'll take it.
1764
00:56:36,040 --> 00:56:36,550
Yeah, no.
1765
00:56:36,550 --> 00:56:37,090
And you know,
1766
00:56:37,090 --> 00:56:37,990
that changes again,
1767
00:56:37,990 --> 00:56:40,060
who it is and what your relationship with that person is
1768
00:56:40,060 --> 00:56:40,570
and all that,
1769
00:56:40,660 --> 00:56:41,470
all that kind of stuff.
1770
00:56:41,500 --> 00:56:42,340
But anyway,
1771
00:56:42,490 --> 00:56:45,910
just wanted to give you guys just all these different random
1772
00:56:45,910 --> 00:56:49,240
situations, just so you can kind of see if there is
1773
00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:51,940
something that resonated you or something that kind of came up.
1774
00:56:51,940 --> 00:56:52,570
So Heather,
1775
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,340
now that we've gone over that,
1776
00:56:54,700 --> 00:56:57,490
what should people look for?
1777
00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,010
Like how do we start to reframe this?
1778
00:57:00,520 --> 00:57:04,690
Well, the first step is always acknowledging it because you cannot
1779
00:57:04,690 --> 00:57:06,790
fix what you don't accept.
1780
00:57:06,850 --> 00:57:10,720
So if there is an issue around something and you had
1781
00:57:10,720 --> 00:57:11,500
said this in the beginning,
1782
00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:14,950
pay attention to how you are feeling or what you're thinking,
1783
00:57:14,980 --> 00:57:18,340
as you were asking these questions and maybe someone hopefully even
1784
00:57:18,340 --> 00:57:19,090
took notes,
1785
00:57:19,090 --> 00:57:20,590
they could write down and say like,
1786
00:57:20,620 --> 00:57:22,300
oh, this really triggered me.
1787
00:57:22,330 --> 00:57:25,870
Or this made me think really negative thoughts then there's work
1788
00:57:25,870 --> 00:57:26,860
to do in that area.
1789
00:57:26,890 --> 00:57:28,150
However, I will say this,
1790
00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:29,590
everybody always goes to the,
1791
00:57:29,590 --> 00:57:31,030
how they always say,
1792
00:57:31,060 --> 00:57:31,690
okay, Heather,
1793
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:33,160
I have issues here,
1794
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:33,490
here, here,
1795
00:57:33,490 --> 00:57:34,810
here. How do I get rid of them?
1796
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:35,950
How do I resolve them?
1797
00:57:35,980 --> 00:57:38,260
I know this because I'm one of those people I always
1798
00:57:38,260 --> 00:57:39,040
say, okay,
1799
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:39,640
I get it.
1800
00:57:39,670 --> 00:57:44,860
Just tell me how there's actually much less efforting than you
1801
00:57:44,860 --> 00:57:49,630
think it's more about the acceptance and the acknowledgement,
1802
00:57:49,630 --> 00:57:51,910
and maybe understanding what's driving behavior,
1803
00:57:51,940 --> 00:57:53,050
where it came from,
1804
00:57:53,050 --> 00:57:55,090
possibly your parents or your childhood.
1805
00:57:55,570 --> 00:57:56,590
It's more,
1806
00:57:56,710 --> 00:57:59,380
that's more important than the,
1807
00:57:59,380 --> 00:58:00,130
how the,
1808
00:58:00,130 --> 00:58:02,410
how is much less part of the equation.
1809
00:58:02,410 --> 00:58:02,590
You know,
1810
00:58:02,590 --> 00:58:03,580
they say it's like,
1811
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:04,300
you know,
1812
00:58:04,570 --> 00:58:07,390
80 to 90% of the bottle is just acknowledging what the
1813
00:58:07,390 --> 00:58:11,800
battle is because that awareness all of a sudden has you
1814
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:12,760
thinking differently?
1815
00:58:12,820 --> 00:58:14,140
And you also said this,
1816
00:58:14,380 --> 00:58:15,700
you now start to catch it.
1817
00:58:16,180 --> 00:58:17,980
You catch different scenarios where you're like,
1818
00:58:18,010 --> 00:58:19,570
oh, this is bringing something up for me.
1819
00:58:19,660 --> 00:58:20,590
Oh, that's interesting.
1820
00:58:20,770 --> 00:58:22,780
I wonder why and what I need to explore.
1821
00:58:22,780 --> 00:58:23,110
And yeah,
1822
00:58:23,110 --> 00:58:25,060
there's definitely some exploration there,
1823
00:58:25,060 --> 00:58:25,510
you know,
1824
00:58:25,510 --> 00:58:27,010
where, where did it come from?
1825
00:58:27,010 --> 00:58:27,940
Why? Oh,
1826
00:58:27,970 --> 00:58:29,860
that's, what's driving my behavior.
1827
00:58:29,890 --> 00:58:31,240
And once you recognize it,
1828
00:58:31,450 --> 00:58:34,750
you can choose a different behavior behavior.
1829
00:58:34,810 --> 00:58:36,190
You can course correct.
1830
00:58:36,220 --> 00:58:38,920
But you can't do that if you haven't identified it.
1831
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:39,850
So that's the first step.
1832
00:58:40,030 --> 00:58:41,410
Yeah. That's a great step.
1833
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:42,760
And I think one of the other,
1834
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,790
like the next step after that is really like looking for
1835
00:58:45,790 --> 00:58:47,980
a way to reframe it like that medical bill two weeks
1836
00:58:47,980 --> 00:58:48,760
before Christmas,
1837
00:58:49,030 --> 00:58:49,990
like instead of like,
1838
00:58:50,020 --> 00:58:51,580
man, I thought I had insurance,
1839
00:58:51,640 --> 00:58:53,350
why am I getting a $500 bill?
1840
00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:54,760
And instead is like,
1841
00:58:54,970 --> 00:58:55,870
holy cow.
1842
00:58:55,900 --> 00:58:57,580
I'm so grateful that you know,
1843
00:58:57,640 --> 00:58:59,620
a, that my son could get treated in the middle of
1844
00:58:59,620 --> 00:59:04,090
the night and be that I have the funds to do
1845
00:59:04,090 --> 00:59:05,290
this. So,
1846
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:05,890
you know,
1847
00:59:06,550 --> 00:59:07,660
like that electricity,
1848
00:59:07,660 --> 00:59:08,680
we talked about,
1849
00:59:08,740 --> 00:59:09,100
you know,
1850
00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:11,650
there's how many people in the world would like to have
1851
00:59:11,650 --> 00:59:12,430
an electric bill.
1852
00:59:12,940 --> 00:59:13,930
And can't,
1853
00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,480
if you guys have something for the IRS that can help
1854
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,340
us, let us know on Instagram.
1855
00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:20,080
Surely you're just going to say that I was going to
1856
00:59:20,090 --> 00:59:20,680
say, Nicole,
1857
00:59:20,680 --> 00:59:21,950
those reframes are great.
1858
00:59:21,950 --> 00:59:22,820
They all make sense.
1859
00:59:22,820 --> 00:59:24,920
What are we going to do about these IRS situation?
1860
00:59:27,470 --> 00:59:29,630
Surely I would feel so much better about it.
1861
00:59:29,630 --> 00:59:32,210
If you could just like actually pay the taxes on the
1862
00:59:32,210 --> 00:59:33,050
money you made.
1863
00:59:34,190 --> 00:59:35,240
Cause I'm like,
1864
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,580
it's like this crazy up and down.
1865
00:59:37,580 --> 00:59:38,090
So, you know,
1866
00:59:38,090 --> 00:59:39,380
like 2019 was,
1867
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:40,700
was a pretty good year.
1868
00:59:40,700 --> 00:59:42,710
And then 2020 was not as good,
1869
00:59:42,710 --> 00:59:45,890
but I had to pay my taxes based on my 2019
1870
00:59:45,890 --> 00:59:48,320
numbers. So now in 2021,
1871
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:50,090
I went from pain like obscene,
1872
00:59:50,180 --> 00:59:53,870
obscene Westmaid of taxes last year on money I wasn't making
1873
00:59:54,050 --> 00:59:56,750
to now this year I had overpaid so much last year
1874
00:59:56,750 --> 00:59:58,610
that I haven't paid estimated taxes at all.
1875
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:00,680
So next year I'd have to start paying them again.
1876
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:01,040
I'm like,
1877
01:00:01,550 --> 01:00:05,510
can't I just look at my profit loss and give you
1878
01:00:05,660 --> 01:00:07,220
my 35%.
1879
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,140
That is exactly.
1880
01:00:09,170 --> 01:00:11,540
I, I check my profit loss every week.
1881
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:13,820
I run the report every single week.
1882
01:00:13,850 --> 01:00:15,200
I know the exact numbers.
1883
01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:20,480
I, I could calculate that 35% on the quarter instantly to
1884
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:21,980
the penny and I could pay it.
1885
01:00:22,070 --> 01:00:23,000
And I would know,
1886
01:00:23,030 --> 01:00:26,090
I would love if we could do All right,
1887
01:00:26,090 --> 01:00:29,060
Heather and Nicole for president 20,
1888
01:00:29,230 --> 01:00:34,640
24. I'm not really miserable.
1889
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:35,420
Don't write us in.
1890
01:00:35,420 --> 01:00:36,860
All right.
1891
01:00:36,860 --> 01:00:39,080
Let's wrap this up because this is been going on for
1892
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:39,500
a while,
1893
01:00:39,500 --> 01:00:40,500
but it's so good.
1894
01:00:40,500 --> 01:00:40,730
I mean,
1895
01:00:40,730 --> 01:00:43,190
I could seriously talk about this all day and from the
1896
01:00:43,190 --> 01:00:44,210
feedback that we've gotten from you guys,
1897
01:00:44,210 --> 01:00:45,470
when we talk about this kind of stuff,
1898
01:00:45,890 --> 01:00:46,670
you also love it.
1899
01:00:46,670 --> 01:00:48,200
So if you're still here,
1900
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:50,900
you're still here an hour in.
1901
01:00:52,070 --> 01:00:52,850
Yeah, really?
1902
01:00:52,910 --> 01:00:53,810
You're enjoying it.
1903
01:00:53,810 --> 01:00:54,230
So thank you.
1904
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:54,620
Thank you.
1905
01:00:54,620 --> 01:00:54,890
Thank you.
1906
01:00:54,890 --> 01:00:55,220
Thank you.
1907
01:00:55,220 --> 01:00:55,550
And yes,
1908
01:00:55,550 --> 01:00:58,190
we will have more if you want DM,
1909
01:00:58,220 --> 01:01:00,320
Heather or myself on Instagram,
1910
01:01:00,680 --> 01:01:02,180
she's at flourish academy.
1911
01:01:02,180 --> 01:01:05,180
Is it just flourish academy or flourish dot flourish academy on
1912
01:01:05,180 --> 01:01:08,090
Instagram. And I'm at hair of the dog academy for me.
1913
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:09,410
And let me know,
1914
01:01:09,410 --> 01:01:10,880
like both of us,
1915
01:01:11,070 --> 01:01:13,350
what, yeah.
1916
01:01:13,350 --> 01:01:14,510
What triggered you for this?
1917
01:01:14,510 --> 01:01:17,090
And also if there's like any other money things,
1918
01:01:17,090 --> 01:01:17,480
you're just like,
1919
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,460
man, I just have no idea how to get over this
1920
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:21,260
and maybe we will use it.
1921
01:01:21,350 --> 01:01:21,980
Oh shit.
1922
01:01:21,980 --> 01:01:24,920
Do a money episode.
1923
01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:27,530
That's how we should wrap it up at the end of
1924
01:01:27,530 --> 01:01:28,100
our series.
1925
01:01:28,850 --> 01:01:31,190
But you can start submitting questions now for sure.
1926
01:01:31,580 --> 01:01:32,300
Yeah. Do it,
1927
01:01:32,510 --> 01:01:34,130
do it all right guys.
1928
01:01:34,310 --> 01:01:37,280
95 episode 95 upgrading your life.
1929
01:01:37,340 --> 01:01:40,250
And then this is episode 101,
1930
01:01:40,340 --> 01:01:46,550
and we'll be back in October with another money series.
1931
01:01:46,700 --> 01:01:47,630
But in the meantime,
1932
01:01:48,290 --> 01:01:49,520
thanks again for joining us.
1933
01:01:49,940 --> 01:01:51,620
Heather, let them know where they can find you.
1934
01:01:51,620 --> 01:01:53,810
Of course they can find you in the academy and in
1935
01:01:53,810 --> 01:01:55,130
the hair of the dog elevate program,
1936
01:01:55,130 --> 01:01:56,660
but where else can they find you?
1937
01:01:57,200 --> 01:02:00,530
You can find me on the interwebs@flourish.academy.
1938
01:02:00,530 --> 01:02:01,490
That's the website.
1939
01:02:01,490 --> 01:02:03,050
Podcasts is flourish academy,
1940
01:02:03,050 --> 01:02:04,220
Instagram, Facebook.
1941
01:02:04,250 --> 01:02:05,900
If you just look for the flourish academy,
1942
01:02:05,900 --> 01:02:07,670
you should be able to find me Sweet.
1943
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:08,270
All right,
1944
01:02:08,270 --> 01:02:10,160
everybody. Thanks for hanging with us again.
1945
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:11,420
And we will see you next week.
1946
01:02:12,290 --> 01:02:14,480
If you enjoy this podcast episode,
1947
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,870
go ahead and take a screenshot of this episode on your
1948
01:02:17,870 --> 01:02:21,150
phone and post it up there on your Instagram stories and
1949
01:02:21,150 --> 01:02:24,660
be sure to tag us at hair of the dog academy.
1950
01:02:24,780 --> 01:02:28,320
And we would just love to see how you're listening and
1951
01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:29,460
a full disclosure.
1952
01:02:29,580 --> 01:02:33,000
Sometimes we just like to give away a little pet photographer,
1953
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:36,840
swag in the form of hair of the dog t-shirts and
1954
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,420
sweatshirts. So what are you waiting for?
1955
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:42,570
Go ahead and share that screenshot of this episode.
1956
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:44,700
And don't forget to tag us at Hare,
1957
01:02:44,700 --> 01:02:45,510
the dog academy.
1958
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:46,740
And while you're there,
1959
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:49,050
maybe you want to jump on over to our account and
1960
01:02:49,050 --> 01:02:51,060
see what we're up to on the gram.
1961
01:02:51,120 --> 01:02:52,830
We'd love to connect with you.
1962
01:02:53,580 --> 01:02:56,010
Thanks for listening to the hair of the dog podcast.
1963
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,200
If you want to check out the show notes for access
1964
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:01,050
to any of the links that we shared in this episode,
1965
01:03:01,350 --> 01:03:04,020
as well as any additional related resources,
1966
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:09,480
simply go to www.hairofthedogacademy.com/
1967
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:12,270
1 0 1.
1968
01:03:12,270 --> 01:03:16,020
Thanks for listening to this episode of hair of the dog
1969
01:03:16,020 --> 01:03:17,160
podcast. If you enjoyed this show,
1970
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:18,990
please take a minute to leave a review.
1971
01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:20,100
And while you're there,
1972
01:03:20,190 --> 01:03:21,570
don't forget to subscribe.
1973
01:03:21,630 --> 01:03:23,850
So you don't miss our upcoming episodes.
1974
01:03:24,390 --> 01:03:25,110
One last thing,
1975
01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:28,170
if you are ready to dive into more resources,
1976
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:33,810
head over to our website@wwwdothairofthedogacademy.com.
1977
01:03:34,170 --> 01:03:37,380
Thanks for being a part of this pet photography community.