Today's topic is how to avoid questions that lead to interrogations. Getting to know someone is one thing but placing a person in the hot seat can be stressful and off-putting. Many ask Q&A-style questions because they need to know, but in the early stages of dating, you're on a need-to-know basis. There's a better way to gain information, and that's by listening! This week's guest will lend his expert ear and share strategies for gathering data. His name is Randy "Moose" Gomez, and he's the "Date Detective" and an experienced PI and Bail Bondsman. We'll learn why to avoid pop quizzes, 20 questions – and one-time-at-band-camp stories. And why it's important to remind yourself this is only a date; you're not a cop on CSI; it's a courtship, not Judge Judy's courtroom.
Randy, AKA "Moose" Gomez, the "Date Detective," is a cowboy and a single dad from New Mexico. He's also a trainer for world champion boxers, on the board of directors for PAL Boxing Club, President of Moose Inc., and founder of the "US" charity. Moose worked as a Bail Bondsman, a Recovery Agent, and a Private Investigator for most of his professional life. During that period, Moose learned a lot about people, especially when he bailed someone out of jail. And at that moment, he listened during that car ride home when people often spilled their life stories. He also learned about the power of listening, and in today's world, we are rarely present.
A few months ago, I covered how con artists and scammers have doubled online during the pandemic in my episode How to Avoid the Tinder Swindler with the "Date Detective" Randy "Moose" Gomez, and today he's back by popular demand. He'll share strategies around keeping a date, a date not the Spanish Inquisition.
Kerry Brett and Randy "Moose" Gomez cover a lot of ground topics, include;
Why to avoid interrogation style questions.
Instead of directly asking others about their line of work, ask them about their passions. Their passion will tell you a lot about them personally.
The value of the art of listening when getting to know someone else.
Avoid predetermined questions and keep the conversation fluid.
If you're not getting the answers you want – let it go and come back to it at another time.
Why we should avoid over-sharing in the beginning of dating.
Don't rely on an agenda or a list of questions. If you have a rigid agenda, you'll stick to it, and a date should be fluid.
Why the best conversations or interviews are not planned?
When people tell you who they are, believe them.
Get clear about your what and your why. Why are you on the date, and what are you trying to accomplish?
To find out more about Randy “Moose” Gomez and all of his “Date Detective” tips follow on Facebook under Randy Moose Gomez, or on Instagram @randymoosegomez or email him directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.