Today, we welcome back Flora Ong, the incredible dating coach and founder of Redo Love! And she discusses how to stop responding to low-effort behavior. Engaging in low-effort behavior creates more of the same. It also shows others what we will accept or tolerate. Unfortunately, we avoid cutting off low-effort behavior because we don't want to feel empty or lonely or have to look within ourselves to figure out why we were accepting this kind of behavior from the beginning. Flora shares how understanding yourself and your attachment style is valuable and why once you figure this out– you discover this is something you can control and, in turn, change the outcome. We’ll learn how women give their power away by being easily accessible, readily available, or by responding in a weak moment. And learn how to avoid these traps, understand subconscious manipulations, and why it's human nature to want to keep a connection going but not at the cost of being mistreated.
Flora Ong is the founder of Redo Love, a dating and relationship coach, and a matchmaker. She has set up 100’s of matches with an 85% success rate. After a failed 14-year marriage, she joined the millions of online/app daters in her search for love. During this process, she discovered she had no idea how to date, love, and be loved. Flora turned all her blunders into a quest to find her way into love and help others who struggled with similar issues. Her focus is to help others identify their blocks around dating to find the love they want while experiencing peace in the process.
If you’ve listened to my most recent episode, “How to Stop Living off a Meme and a Dream," with Flora Ong – you’ll understand why I immediately had to bring her back for part two. Today we’ll discuss handling text messages, learning when to attach and detach and why the right person feels different to your nervous system.
Kerry Brett and Flora Ong cover a lot of ground topics, including:
How to stop being a lifetime responder or someone who needs to know every little thing or respond to every text?
Why you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
When things end, you shouldn’t focus on the highlight reel; you should focus on the documentary.
When you find the right one, you won’t need to write lists of why he’s not calling in your note section on your phone, and you won’t feel confused, anxious, or bad about yourself – you’ll feel happy and at peace.
When in doubt, don’t send the text! You can write the text you want to send and take a screenshot so you can remember it the next day but know your power remains in your silence.
Always remember you’re the architect of your destiny and in control of your future. Stop focusing on the negative and focus on the things you want to create more of that.