Today's guest is Dolores Gatnik. Dolores is truly an inspiration who has the right idea about dating and living life to the fullest! Dolores had a career for 23 years, but her legacy is her family. She's the mother of 4 children and the grandmother of 4. Dolores met Ron Gatnik when she was 19 years old, and they wed two years later. They remained happily married for 55 years until he passed away. While grieving the loss of her husband, she's adjusted to living alone during a pandemic and is currently battling cancer. Dolores's motto is life is short, and you must live every moment. She's dating on Match.Com but isn't looking to replace the love of her life, simply looking to find a fun companion, and is open to the next chapter of happiness. Her attitude is everything and proof that life comes full circle. I went to my high school prom with her son 30 years ago and recently photographed her headshot for her online dating profile. When we come back, we'll laugh our way through her hilarious and hopeful journey of finding love.
Kerry Brett and Dolores Gatnik cover a lot of ground. Topics include:
Why does being a perennial optimist works in your favor?
Dating with the right attitude is the key to success.
The importance of reframing rejection.
Don't be afraid to let your personality shine.
If you have a big personality, people can handle it or not, and if they can't, they aren't your person.
One and done dates.
Why you should suggest fun and out of the box dates.
Why you should always be fun and fabulous!
Why is age just a number?
Dolores Gatnik’s advice is for someone who feels they missed the boat or are too old to find love?
Why you need to have a strong bio.
The importance of hiring a professional for your leading photograph.
The two things you are in total control of in. your life, your attitude, and your effort.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Why no one ever made a difference by being like everyone else.
You'll never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you.
Today's guest is Dolores Gatnik. Dolores is truly an inspiration who has the right idea about dating and living life to the fullest! Dolores had a career for 23 years, but her legacy is her family. She's the mother of 4 children and the grandmother of 4. Dolores met Ron Gatnik when she was 19 years old, and they wed two years later. They remained happily married for 55 years until he passed away. While grieving the loss of her husband, she's adjusted to living alone during a pandemic and is currently battling cancer. Dolores's motto is life is short, and you must live every moment. She's dating on Match.Com but isn't looking to replace the love of her life, simply looking to find a fun companion, and is open to the next chapter of happiness. Her attitude is everything and proof that life comes full circle. I went to my high school prom with her son 30 years ago and recently photographed her headshot for her online dating profile. When we come back, we'll laugh our way through her hilarious and hopeful journey of finding love.
Kerry Brett and Dolores Gatnik cover a lot of ground. Topics include:
Why does being a perennial optimist works in your favor?
Dating with the right attitude is the key to success.
The importance of reframing rejection.
Don't be afraid to let your personality shine.
If you have a big personality, people can handle it or not, and if they can't, they aren't your person.
One and done dates.
Why you should suggest fun and out of the box dates.
Why you should always be fun and fabulous!
Why is age just a number?
Dolores Gatnik’s advice is for someone who feels they missed the boat or are too old to find love?
Why you need to have a strong bio.
The importance of hiring a professional for your leading photograph.
The two things you are in total control of in. your life, your attitude, and your effort.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Why no one ever made a difference by being like everyone else.
You'll never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you.
I am Carrie Brett , and this is Shot at Love . Today's guest is Dolores Gatt. Dolores is truly an inspiration who has the right idea about dating and living life to the fullest? Dolores had a career for 23 years, but her legacy is her family. She's the mother of four children and the grandmother of four. Dolores met Ron Gatk when she was 19 years old, and they wed two years later, they remained happily married for 55 years until he passed away, while grieving the loss of her husband. She's adjusted to living alone during a pandemic and is currently battling cancer. Dolores's motto is, life is short and you must live every moment. She's dating on match.com, but isn't looking to replace the love of her life, simply looking to find a fun companion and is open to the next chapter of happiness. Her attitude is everything and proof that life has come full circle. I went to my high school prom with her son 30 years ago and recently photographed her headshot, her online dating profile. When we come back, we'll laugh our way through her hilarious and hopeful journey of binding love. You won't wanna miss it, so stay tuned. Dolores is a fighter who doesn't feel sorry for herself or miss a beat. It is my great honor to welcome Dolores Katnik to the show today. So without further ado, hi Dolores. Thanks so much for being here.
Speaker 2:Hi, Carrie . Great to be with you.
Speaker 1:Great to have you. So you say that you are a perennial optimist. Tell us about your typical Tuesday
Speaker 2:Today <laugh>. Today is a typical Tuesday. I had a cystoscopy at the Mass General Hospital this morning at eight 40, and then I came home and here I am doing a podcast with Carrie Brett and I have a dinner party to attend tonight. So a regular Tuesday.
Speaker 1:Yeah , it sounds, does sound like you're not typical Tuesday, but let's talk about dating and how you think having the right attitude around people either liking you or not liking you. Can you tell the listeners how you take it all with a grain of salt?
Speaker 2:You know, you can't take , uh, someone's rejection on match personally, because I've learned how to do it myself, so I do it back.
Speaker 1:I wanna talk about the importance of reframing rejection.
Speaker 2:Well, no, I, I've been seeing this , uh, particular doctor a few times, quite a few times, and , uh, he's kind of , uh, sporadic in the way that he contacts me. I don't always have regular dates with him or regular contact, but so, you know, six weeks could go by and I almost wanna pick up the phone and act like a Jewish mother and say, Hey, you don't write , you don't call. But <laugh> , I am able to restrain myself and not do that. That's
Speaker 1:Good. You were dating a doctor and things were going well, and then things weren't happening and it wasn't anything that you did. I say that there's a lot of people who they're half in, they're half out, it works for them for a while. Or I'll say, you may not be the one, but you're the one for now. And it's kind of a common thing that happens in online dating and it really isn't fair, but it happens. You didn't take it to heart. You looked at the positives. You liked going out to the city and having dinner and all that, but you did kind of wanna have some answers around when the bottom kind of fell out here, although I think he's still floating around. Talk about that experience because I think, like you said, you haven't dated in 60 years, you were married for 55 years. This is a big problem for people when they get a little bit older or they think they miss the boat, they think, well, maybe it's my age or maybe it's something that I did. And you had this wonderful life with the love of your life for 55 years, so now you're kind of in this uncharted water. Can you talk about the learning here?
Speaker 2:Life is, has to go on. You have to be able to embrace life, and you have to not focus on the fact that it's too late for anything. Because if you have the spirit and the willingness to embrace life, you can do it and you can accomplish things and you need to be optimistic because optimism, I think is the key to success. And , uh, you can't take things personally.
Speaker 1:No, you can't. But you also, you take the bull by the horn and you're like, is there something that I did and and you wanted to know, which kind of surprised him. And once you surprised him with taking control and kind of turning over the apple cart on him, he was interested and he came back around. I don't know that I would ask this person this, but I actually admire your bravery that you did do that because you were mad. And I think some of the learning that I've learned on online dating is when I did fall down or things didn't work out, and I thought to myself, could I have handled this better? Or is it really this other person? Because you're amazing and you're so fun and so beautiful and you look so young and you're so young at heart . Do you regret that, that you asked him? I mean, I know you got some free Van Gogh tickets out of the mix and <laugh>
Speaker 2:No, I, I don't regret asking him. He thought I was brave as well. He thought I was a brave woman to ask the question of what did I do wrong? The reason I asked the question was I wanted to know if there was something that I was continuously doing that needed to be corrected so that I could not make the same mistake if and when I met the next person and he wrote back and said, you are a brave woman, he said, and there's nothing wrong with you, you're great. And so I thought, if I'm so great, why don't you wanna keep dating me? But anyway, <laugh> , so, you know, he, he has just determined that he cannot provide me with the kind of relationship that he thinks I , uh, am due . He thinks that , uh, he's not the right one for me and he wants me to find somebody else. And so, okay, so I just told him that, you know, I'm a resilient self-confident woman. I just brushed myself off and get right back into the swim again and tried to meet the next person, which I've had several dates since I've seen him, and he's still in touch. He wrote me the other day to find out how my cancer treatment was going and is going to take me out for dinner. And so I, you know , he's on the back burner. But in the meantime, I have a date coming up this Saturday night that I think might be exciting and I'm looking forward to that <laugh> and keep my mind open.
Speaker 1:There you go. Keep him on the back burner for now. You know, let him keep sending you tickets and whatever else. I'll go with you to that exhibit if you want. <laugh> . I ,
Speaker 2:I did tell him that since the tickets were so expensive and we plan to go together, that he really, he's going with me whether , whether I'm dating somebody else or not. <laugh> , that's only fair
Speaker 1:<laugh> . Oh , that's fun .
Speaker 2:They were VIP tickets.
Speaker 1:We might have to , I might have to take my producing . We might have to follow you guys around from afar to see how this thing shakes out. See, this is where I , I say men, they kind of tell you who they are. Well, they do tell you who they are because they don't wanna be left holding the bag when they can't give you what you want. So they put it all out there like , uh, I'm trying my best, I'm trying online dating. I'm new to it. These are all just little things, little red flags that most of us tend to overlook. And one day you get something in the mail and he sends you these ads. Can you tell me about these ads? But it actually worked out because you were so smart and you actually used what he sent you in the mail to rewrite your bio. So why don't you talk about what you got in the mail from him.
Speaker 2:So, all right , I first of all asked him about, you know, what was wrong with me? And he, so he said there was nothing. So then I figured we weren't gonna be in touch anymore. And a few weeks later, like I said, he's sporadic about his contact. There was in my mailbox an envelope and it was with his return address. So I opened the envelope and I said, what could this be? And it was one page that had ripped out of a magazine, which happened to be the Harvard Crimson Magazine. Um, and he's a professor at Harvard University as well as being, you know, in the medical field. And so I opened it and I looked at it and I said, well, it's gotta be an article about him. And so I read everything that I could see on this one page, on this two-sided. And I looked and there was nothing about him. And then it said at the top personals. And I thought, personals, well maybe he wrote a really great personal about himself and he just wants me to see what it is. So I read them all and I said, there's nothing here that resembles anything about him. So what's going on? So I look and I see all these great words and I just wrote them all down, all the words that I thought were applicable to my personality. I wrote them all down and decided to write my bio, which I ended up with like a semi want ad <laugh> , you know , describing myself and then saying what I was looking for. And it really turned out to be, I think, a dynamite bio because someone at Match in the customer service said to me, guys, just wanna look at pictures and not read very much. Don't write a short story, don't write a novel, just get to the point. So I thought this is perfect. Two lines, what one about me and one about one I'm looking for. And you know, so far with the great pictures that you took plus my dynamic bio, I've had quite a few likes, looks, conversations, and many of which I have just ignored because when I look at their picture, I'm doing the same thing they do to me. Huh ? I don't like that one. <laugh> next
Speaker 1:<laugh> . So in your own words, I'm gonna read your bio because it's , think it's so good for the listeners today listening. She is 79 years old on these dating apps, rocking it and it's amazing and this is how you do it. So her bio is, I'm a vivacious, natural, silver blonde haired woman with big blue eyes. I stay fit and feel ageless. I'm warm, witty with a true passion for living life . Life , enjoy cultural activities, music, theater, museums, and good conversation. We'd love to meet a like-minded gentleman who is educated and has a sense of humor, is interesting, loving, intelligent, sophisticated, traveled and relationship oriented. It's so good. It's so good. So you change that up. And in the beginning of your online dating, you didn't have the best pictures, which I think is a common thing for people. But you put yourself out there and with your amazing personality, you still got dates and you were still rocking and rolling. So you came to my studio and, and we knew each other from, from the days of me going to the prom with your son. And I always would hang around with your son and we'd have some laughs with your husband. So you knew me a long, long time ago and you thought, I think I need some new photographs. So you came in and you were frightened because you were afraid you were gonna get this diagnosis, but you were still like, I'm here, life is now, I feel good. I am . And I thought to myself, well, during the recovery time, it's a great time to write people. That's a good time to start lining up the dates and you're dating through cancer. I mean, this is perfect because there's no more excuses. You're not too old. You can say, okay, there's a pandemic, or I lost my husband, or, you know, my age, or now I have this illness that you're beating by your attitude. It's so admirable. I really am impressed with your optimistic attitude and I think that winning attitude is key. So what happened when you came in for professional headshots and what happened once you put those images online? Did things change for you?
Speaker 2:Oh, I think they changed dramatically as the person at Match said, you know, it's all about the photographs. Guys really do place a great deal of importance on how you look. And so I think they made a huge difference. And so I came in, I was as my, you know, stay optimistic all the time. I said to you, well, we're getting these pictures done so that I can post them on Match. And then of course I'm facing , uh, surgery next week. I may only have two months to live . So if push comes to shove, we can use them for my obituary, <laugh> , and everybody loves that line, <laugh> . So it turns out that I , I'm not dying anytime soon based on what the doctors are telling me. So being a very pragmatic person and very , uh, thrift conscious, I've decided that, okay, so they're not going to be used, they are on Match. And then the second use I can give them is to make Christmas cards and tell everybody, well, here I am on the cusp of my 80th birthday and this is what I look like.
Speaker 1:<laugh>, you look amazing. <laugh> . Which leads me to you say that you're 69 on Oh, I do <laugh> , which I think is fine because you look, you look 10 years younger than you are. Oh , thank you. You look amazing. You're in incredible shape. You do yoga every day . You give me a run for my money and yoga for sure. And your attitude. You're so fun and you have this big personality. This is what makes you special. This is what makes you on my podcast because I get such a kick out of you. You say people can either handle you or not. And that's what it is. You go on these dates and you have this thing called the One and done <laugh> , the one and done date. Can you tell me what that is?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, dating during a pandemic wasn't exactly, it wasn't the best timing to start , uh, online dating. So , uh, you know, I did meet people on park benches and you know, in the public gardens in Boston, we were marrying , wearing a mask each. And one was sitting on one end of the bench and the other at the other end. And you know, and so at , at some point, you know, you'd chat and then I knew there was nothing there for me anyway. And so even if they said, well, you know , I really like you, will I see you again? I had to say no, that I didn't think that we were a match and that , so I call those my one and done <laugh> .
Speaker 1:It's good. I mean, one time you went out into , into the seaport and you ended up buying the , he couldn't even buy you an ice cream cone.
Speaker 2:No. Well that guy, he's a nice guy, but he has no money. <laugh> and I don't have enough for two of us. <laugh>
Speaker 1:<laugh> . So you bought the two , you spent 16 bucks on two. I bought
Speaker 2:The Taiyaki , uh, Japanese soft serve ice cream, which is seven nine a cone <laugh> . And they treated him , he bought me a burger at Shake Shack. It was all good <laugh> . We went to the ICA
Speaker 1:<laugh>. That's kind of fun actually.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was fun. And he actually wants to be friends, but you know, I, I told him that it does , I don't think it's going to work. So he hasn't called of late and uh , that's all good. But if I do wanna go to a museum, I know who to call. He was an art professor, <laugh> .
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that's amazing. So now you stop men in their tracks and you peak their interest because you offer these exciting things to do on a date, which is not the normal suggestion. So what was your recent fun idea that you did on, on a date?
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Speaker 2:Well I got this, this like on match and I read the guy's profile and immediately I said, oh my goodness, I think this guy is terrific. So I wrote back, Y ou in all caps are really somebody I like a lot. And I sent the emoji with the hard eyes. And so anyway, he wrote back, oh, I like your attitude. Should we elope or should we meet first? I said , yes, <laugh> . So anyway, he says, okay, let's meet, we'll do something fun. And I said, okay, so let's determine what we think of as fun. And he wrote back , uh, he didn't write back, actually, I wrote to him and said, when was the last time you went for a ride on a Merry-Go-round? And he, it took him a while to get back to me and he finally wrote back. He said, well, I haven't been on one this week, but I would like to go on a ride on the Merry-go-round with you. And I said, perfect. So let's do it this weekend. So we do have plans to go for a ride on the Merry-go-round, which,
Speaker 1:Oh, you haven't gone on the mer go yet ? No.
Speaker 2:We're , we are going on the Merry-Go-round this weekend. <laugh> . I did go with some other person a week or two ago, but he, he decided that we weren't a match and that's okay. We had a fun date and that's all right. You just can't take it personally. He didn't, I , no , I tell you what happened when I told him that I was 79 and he was 69, I don't think he could stand that. The age difference. Not everybody can handle it. Right. When really age is so irrelevant, you really have to look at the person and what do they bring to the table. Age doesn't mean a thing because we don't all ripen at the same rate. Yeah . I mean it's the way, you know, some bananas get ripe quicker than others. I mean's just the way it is. Right.
Speaker 1:Well I remember you were like, oh, I'm kind of sad 'cause I got ghosted by this guy. Now for everyone listening, her husband who passed was one of the most handsome men. Oh, he was, honestly, he could be a movie star.
Speaker 2:He really was movie star quality. He really was
Speaker 1:A great guy too. And a great guy. Yeah . And he would always light up and laugh when he would see me and, and what a love story you had, but I'm looking at this beautiful woman that I'm gonna photograph and you're like, you know, I just got ghosted by this guy who wasn't that good looking and he was shorter than me and he didn't have a prostate <laugh>. And I was like, Dolores, you get do better than this. I think,
Speaker 2:Hey , I have to think, think about about it .
Speaker 1:Yeah. You can't get hurt about that one. But that I , when I ever told my parents that one, they were laughing so hard. They were like, this is the best. You can't make this stuff .
Speaker 2:I really have had a lot of fun dating online. I have found it to be the best entertainment for cheap money. It's been a lot of fun. And as long as you approach it with that and take it as for what it is, you can really have fun with it. And you never know in the meantime, you just might meet someone.
Speaker 1:I might have to be like hiding in the bushes with a long lens to see this Merry-go-round <laugh> going up and down with this 69-year-old, the two one fake 69-year-old, the one real 69-year-old, the one who really is 79 and was 80. Do you go for drinks before or after?
Speaker 2:Well, he wants to go have sushi. So there's a place , uh, on NTAs Beach that has sushi. So we're doing that first. And then we're going to walk to the Merry-go-round. And like I said, he has no clue that I'm 79 and you know, if he starts talking about age, I'm gonna say, so let's talk about the Red Socks or something. <laugh> . Let's try to just , uh, skirt the issue because it really doesn't ,
Speaker 1:I don't think you should tell them for a while .
Speaker 2:I'm not . I
Speaker 1:Agree. I think we just take it off the table.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Because first of all, it doesn't , it's irrelevant. I mean, anybody that knows me knows I have more energy than most people that are in their forties <laugh> . Right ?
Speaker 1:I mean, you're like rocky museums, you're walking around in leather pants. I mean, this is how I wanna be when I'm 79. It's just the best. Not that I wanna be on dating sites, but I would <laugh> I would do it if I
Speaker 2:Had to. If you have to, you do it. That's great . And it's been fun. It really has. As long as you have the right attitude, you know, and it's been a learning experience, I have to say. It really has been a learning experience. It has and a good one. Mm-Hmm.
Speaker 1:<affirmative> . But I think a lot of people can learn from, from just this, because like I said, there's no excuses how you responded with the , you know, why owe you and let's go on a mer ground and all that. You found that you get really excited, that's your personality. Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> your full tilt and you have to, you've been dialing it back because you've been busy and you found that just not paying attention to them and being kind of non-committal to when they're gonna ask you out on a date has worked in your favor. Right.
Speaker 2:Well, that had to be a change for me because I was married to somebody for 50 plus, 55 plus years who, you know , uh, after you've been together that long, you kind of really know each other's minds. And he really liked me to make all the plans, just let him know what time and where, you know, and do that sort of thing. And so that is something that I've had to adjust because people that are not expecting, that, guys that have been living on their own are used to making their own plans. They don't expect somebody to come in and tell them what we're going to do for dinner, where we're going to eat and what time. So I've had to curb that , um, you know, aspect of my, you know, capability and just kind of sit back and say, well who wants to make the reservation? Do you want me to call or do you wanna call? So that's been a change for me and I'm always learning. I think that's one of the things that's one of the secrets of aging. Well, to be willing to learn, keep an open mind and not be afraid to embrace new experiences.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah. That must be really hard when you, I don't know that there's the leader, but you have when you're with someone Mm-Hmm . <affirmative> . Everybody knows their part. Yeah. Everybody knows Yeah . Who's gonna do what Right . And who's reliable. And my , my boyfriend's very reliable in a lot of areas that I just am not, and, and I need him for that. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> , when I come home, things are done Yeah. That I needed completed. And that's important. But it's hard, like you said, you, you were married 55 years. So now how do you go from that person who called the shots in a sense? Because Ron was laid back. He was laid back. Yeah . He ,
Speaker 2:He was mellow
Speaker 1:And so that's why he was attracted to you. And that's why I said go through those ads in the , in the Harvard Crimson because the , those types of educators and, and , and doctors and surgeons, they like someone who keeps them on their toes. They like the exact opposite of that academia world. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> . I didn't even know something like that existed. Yeah. That's pretty interesting to me. It
Speaker 2:Is, it is interesting because
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm gonna tell some of my friends about that. I think there's a little find there that's like a secret society, that people are meeting people that might not be the norm. And I think try other where you have this great bio, I would be apt to suggest doing something like eHarmony or something that really matches people with the qualities. You want someone cultured, you want someone who wants to do the same things . You are not gonna go skiing or water skiing. Right , right . But you will do yoga and go on walks and hikes. Right . And there's lots of things you still want to do. Yep . So that's, that's pretty amazing. And you also said that you want relationship oriented. And I think that's a very strong thing to say in your bio. And I think it's really good.
Speaker 2:I think it's important to spell out what you want. I really do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I don't know what that relationship will be. I mean, it's going to evolve and we'll , it'll evolve with us together if in fact, I do ever meet anybody that's interested in having a relationship. So I can't even define it, but it'll, it'll happen.
Speaker 1:It'll happen. So, you know the people that don't like you pretty quickly and Yep .
Speaker 2:Or that I don't like <laugh> or
Speaker 1:That you don't like. Right. Like they have to be able to buy you an ice cream. At
Speaker 2:Least <laugh>.
Speaker 1:I know you were just texting some guy who was having knee surgery.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's just a neighbor. And I just sent him some my well wishes. No, he's, he's, he's been , he's been driving me to a lot of appointments. <laugh> . Yeah. He's a sweetheart. He really is. He's having his knee done tomorrow.
Speaker 1:How often would you say you swipe on these dating apps? Oh,
Speaker 2:I'm on that app all day long. It's on my phone and I just, I'm like addicted to it. I mean, it's the best money I ever spent <laugh>. That's good. That's good . Free entertainment . Not really Cost me 20 bucks a month. I don't even care. It's all good.
Speaker 1:No, I think you gotta branch out. I'm , I'm interested to see how you do on these different dating apps because men come in waves and they change all the time. So I do think you should try some other ones.
Speaker 2:Oh, I do plan to, once I get past my treatments, which is, they're only for once a week for six weeks, once I get past , I will be able to really , uh, get going, get ,
Speaker 1:Get going, like your daily,
Speaker 2:Turn up the volume
Speaker 1:<laugh> , turn up the volume
Speaker 2:And get going because I'm interested in, you know, in being more exposed to other sites so that I can, 'cause these people on Match are starting to get to be old friends. <laugh> , you know, when I start getting the chop picks every day and you look at them, you say, Hey, I've seen that face before. Right . You've already read the bio. Right . It's like, wait a minute, time to, you know, switch it up. So switch
Speaker 1:It up. Yeah . That's why I think you need to branch out. Yeah ,
Speaker 2:I agree with you. But
Speaker 1:You are hilarious and the stories are endless and like you said, it is it , I mean you need your own YouTube channel or something <laugh> because just the conversation and the text. Why is age just a number?
Speaker 2:Well, because I think it, it has a , it's a state of mind. I really do believe that what's written on your birth certificate is very irrelevant. It's a state of mind. And you can meet somebody who's 40 years old who's an old fuddy duddy and you can meet somebody 90 who's still cranking it. You know? So I mean, it just, it's , it , it doesn't have any bearing on anything. Yeah . So it's unfortunate when people get hung up on age. Yeah. But I know that if I put 79 about to be 80 on match, I'm not too sure that too many people would be sending me likes and hellos and I think you're a lovely woman and I'd like think we should meet and all that sort of thing. Yeah . Yeah . Those messages I don't think would come across.
Speaker 1:Well, I think that's common. I've, I've seen that on Tinder where there's so many people 59 and it's like, you guys are all not 59 <laugh> people just don't wanna put 60. I've never seen, when I've swiped for people in their sixties, so many 50 nines my life. Yeah. I was , it was shocked by it. So it's a little, it's a little white lie that people do and I don't think if it gets you out there and it makes you find someone that is a fun companion and you're happy, it's worth it and they're not gonna care once they, and and , and I had 10-year-old photographs with shame on me being a photographer, but I was so heartbroken and such a train wreck at the time. I looked a lot older than my photographs. And that was the first thing my boyfriend said to me. And I said, oh, well he's think I'm pretty still. And he said, yeah, I do. I just wanted to say that <laugh> , like, you're not even putting out the truth in a sense. And I'm like, well, you're here and we had a great time. Right. It was because of my confidence. Yeah. My confidence in , Hey, if it's not you, it's somebody else. You
Speaker 2:Gotta be confident. You have to believe in yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do. Yeah. Well you definitely are , you've always been very confident and you've always been very grounded in who you are as a person. Oh yes. And I think that's really refreshing. I mean, at this point at 79 you're not gonna be able to change that. <laugh>.
Speaker 2:<laugh> . I don't think so. <laugh> .
Speaker 1:So my last question is, what would your advice be for someone who feels that they miss the boat or they're too old to find love? Oh,
Speaker 2:I would say forget that idea. That's garbage. Don't even go there. I mean, it's just, it's not true. But you , you have to psych yourself up. And so I I , it comes natural to me. Not everybody else is fortunate to have that ability, but I think that if you go get some self-help books or do whatever, get some, get your hair done, lose some weight, get some great clothes, you know, be sexy. What the hell? Why not?
Speaker 1:Right, right. <laugh> . No, it's true. I mean, you went out to, you went on a date right after surgery?
Speaker 2:I did. That was the doctor that he wrote me. It was funny. I was just recovering and he sends an email and he says, dinner tonight. And I went, oh, I just get rid of the catheter. Do I get ready? Oh yes. I guess I can do this. And off we went for dinner. It was a lovely evening, <laugh> . Right . I really enjoyed his company. Well you
Speaker 1:Might, I mean, you couldn't have a drink because you had an ,
Speaker 2:Well, I didn't want to, you know, get the anesthesia back <laugh> the , what do you call the brain fog that comes with anesthesia for me anyway. Uh , so he said, are you going to have a glass of wine? And I always do with the dinner. And I said, no, I'm going to pass. And he wanted to know why. And so I had to tell him. And uh , and then we talked about why he sent me that, you know, piece of paper from the , uh, Harvard Crimson. And he explained that he really thought that, you know, there was someone out there that would be better for me. And I'm like, no, what are you talking about you ? Anyway, it was all good.
Speaker 1:It's all good. I mean, he's still hanging around so like , like you said, he is on the back burner. He , yeah . And he , the Merry-go-round to look forward to this weekend. <laugh>,
Speaker 2:I have to say that is a fun thing to do,
Speaker 1:<laugh>. It's, I'm sure you're shocking people left and right with that one. That is really fun. And well,
Speaker 2:He said, what do you do that's fun? I said, how , when do you wanna go on a ride for on a Merry-Go-Round <laugh> .
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. Well this was so fun. Where can we find out more about your journey? I mean, you're gonna have to come back when you, when you do find love, but I feel like we need to set up some kind of Instagram or, or something. We
Speaker 2:Can I am on Instagram. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1:Tell us your Instagram page.
Speaker 2:Oh, I don't remember what it is. <laugh>. 'cause my granddaughter set it up <laugh> . I don't Oh my gosh. But I post a lot of photographs 'cause I have a beach place and it's always these gorgeous sunsets and sunrises and beautiful beach grasses and stormy clouds that I photograph and put post all the
Speaker 1:Time. So I'm telling you, we should do these dating. I wanna come on your deck overlooking the , the
Speaker 2:Landing . Yes. Have a glass of wine. I just love smell that salt air <laugh> . You gotta get on the list though. 'cause people , everybody
Speaker 1:Wants to come over there.
Speaker 2:Yeah , you're on a list at this point . <laugh> .
Speaker 1:See that's good. Yeah . You've always got something going.
Speaker 2:I have a lot of friends. I have a great social network. And that's another real secret to staying young and lively and with it is to be, have interests and have lots of friends and lots of social outlets. And that's, that's who I am by nature. But you know, if you, you have to embrace it. If you're out there thinking what can I do? Those are the things you have to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I love it. Oh, great advice today. And it was such an honor to have you here. Thank you
Speaker 2:So much . It's been my pleasure so much . Totally my pleasure
Speaker 1:For your time. You're just the best.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks.
Speaker 1:And for now, this week's Dating Tips and in honor of today's guest , Dolores Katnick . These tips are inspired by her. Number one, two things you are in control of in your life, your attitude and your effort. Number two, age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind it, it doesn't matter. Number three, no one ever made a difference by being like everyone else. Number four, you'll never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is what Shot at Love is here for, to help you find love. Keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Remember to stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes. If you like this show, please subscribe and leave a five star review. I'm Carrie Brett , and we'll see you next time.