Shot At Love
Shot At Love is the first motivational dating show of its kind. It teaches you how to be successful in online dating while inspiring the listeners to go for it. You can find love, and are worthy of it. Shot At Love with Kerry Brett - Me, Exposed- Introduction to Shot At Love Podcast with celebrity photographer Kerry Brett.
Shot At Love
Olympic Spirit in Dating: 🏅Love and Resilience with Olympian Kelly Gunther
What do you do when a life-altering injury threatens your greatest passion? Join us as we welcome Kelly Gunther, an Olympian whose journey from a devastating injury to competing in the 2014 Winter Olympics is nothing short of miraculous. Kelly's story isn't just about her love for skating; it's a testament to the power of resilience and the unwavering belief in one's dreams. From overcoming learning disabilities in school to making a remarkable comeback on the ice, her journey offers invaluable lessons on maintaining a winning mindset in all aspects of life, including the often daunting world of online dating.
Kelly opens up about the profound challenges she faced, both on and off the ice, and how supportive mentors and friends played a crucial role in her achievements. Her narrative reveals how finding confidence through her passion for skating was transformative, offering a sense of belonging and achievement that extended beyond sports. This episode shines a light on the significance of embracing unique learning processes and the importance of perseverance. Kelly's story emphasizes that self-belief and encouragement from others are key drivers in overcoming obstacles and realizing personal goals.
We also explore the intricacies of dating as a successful woman, discussing how confidence and resilience play into personal relationships. Through Kelly's experiences, we highlight the importance of quickly vetting potential partners and not taking rejections personally. She shares how a positive mindset and a robust support network can turn setbacks into opportunities for growth. Listen in for motivational tips on building self-confidence, overcoming limiting beliefs, and harnessing inner strength to achieve your dreams, both professionally and personally.
I'm Carrie Brett and this is Shot at Love. This week's guest is Kelly Gunther, and she's a motivational speaker, an Olympian and an American speed skater, but what's truly amazing about her is that she's the ultimate comeback kid. Her story is one of inspiration. At the 2010 Olympic trials, she endured a double compound fracture that nearly severed her foot from her leg. A fracture so bad for most, a dream of the Olympics would have been over, but instead Kelly, with tears in her eyes, got back on the ice At the 2014 Olympic trials. She skated her personal best on the same track as her accident. This girl is in her own lane of greatness and she's always been there. She realized early on that she had herself, and it was up to her to make it happen. Kelly's also single, so when we come back, she will share what it takes to have a winning mindset and how having that will help you find love online. You won't want to miss it, so stay tuned.
Kerry Brett:Kelly Gunther is an American speed skater who participated in the 2014 Winter Olympics. She began roller skating at the age of six and briefly tried figure skating, but she was too fast for the music, so she took up speed skating as an inline skater. She won multiple world championship gold medals on the United States relay team. At the 2010 Olympic trials, kelly made the US speed skating team but was bumped from the team after another skater was granted a reskate. In March of 2010, she fell during a race and suffered a devastating injury.
Kerry Brett:After intensive rehab, kelly returned to skating and set two personal best times in November of 2011. She made the 2011-2012 World Cup team and placed third in the Thousand Meters National Championships. At the 2014 Olympic trials, she skated a personal best time to place fourth and made the Olympic team. It is my honor to welcome Kelly today. In her words, she wasn't first, she wasn't last, she was always the girl right there and she's the ultimate comeback kid, and sometimes it's just as easy as that continuing to show up. So, kelly, thank you for showing up here for my listeners. What an honor to have you.
Kelly Gunther:Thank you so much, keri. It is such an honor and a privilege to be here. I appreciate it. Thank you so so much.
Kerry Brett:I want to start from the beginning so people can get to know who you are and how you set that attention to be a skater and you knew at the age of six that you didn't know much about the Olympics, but you knew that you were going to the Olympics. And it's so fascinating to me because Michael Jackson is an example of someone who knew as a child that he was going to be on a big stage and he never wavered that belief and I think, no matter what, you had a lot of things holding you back. So talk about when you were a little girl and I can just see you as a little girl in the roller rink. You know with such fierce determination.
Kelly Gunther:So tell me about when you decided to be an Olympian um, yes, I absolutely love that question and I love going back to my childhood as that little girl, because I can literally vividly remember watching the 1994 Winter Olympics and watching the figure skating girls skate on their ice and tell the story of what they were pouring out to their music, to the jumps and spins. And just from that very moment on, watching them be in that stage, in that arena, I knew that's exactly where I wanted to be. And, granted, I don't know if I knew exactly what the Olympic rings meant, but I knew I wanted to be on a stage like that someday. And I said to myself as I was watching I'm going to be on that stage no matter what, even as a six-year-old little girl it's exactly what I said.
Kelly Gunther:And wasting no time, and going to the local roller rink, which had absolutely nothing to do with figure skating or ice skating, I fell in love with it. I just, you know, love the jumps and spins, all the hair and makeup. But I was a little too fast for the music and I couldn't hear the beat of it and I just love to go fast and fall down and get right back up. So I was introduced to inline speed skating, uh, where I just love to go fast, turn left and when the gun went off I just I went for it and left everything behind me and just skated forward and for 10 years of my career that took me around the world to pursue the dreams that I had set out from that six year old little girl.
Kerry Brett:I love this, so I can see myself in you, because when I was a little girl, I was, I was a photographer, but there it was predominantly all men. And it was like, you know, you'll never be as good as your dad, you know, and and when you're little, you believe you can do anything. And I think how I got my start in working at the magazine I was 20, but I was so green and I wasn't jaded by the world it was like, hey, you need to hire me, or at least I was going to go down trying. And I think you have to have that warrior mindset Like there isn't. And this is the way I approach this show.
Kerry Brett:I was so determined to make this show work, even through a pandemic, even with everything you know not working or being as planned, but I felt that I had something for people that could change their lives and, through my tough experience online, that became my expertise and and I there wasn't an option for this show not to succeed. And I think you have to have that warrior mindset and you cannot approach online dating like, okay, it may or may happen to me, and I feel like and we were talking about this earlier we live in a world where we all deserve love, but for some reason there's millions of people walking around thinking they may or may not find love, and so for you becoming a member of the Olympic team, there was just like no option. Like it was, it was going to happen, that was part of your destiny. Can you talk about that a little bit more?
Kelly Gunther:Yeah, absolutely. It was my destiny because, just like you said, I was determined and I set it out to be. And you have to have that determination in you if you want to pursue anything in life rather it be the Olympics, online dating you have to know what you want and you have to go for it, no matter what obstacles are set in front of you. Rather, it's the biggest roadblock, and that you don't think that you can knock it down. I can promise you that if you want it bad enough, you will absolutely knock it down in front of you, but it all comes within itself and it all becomes with those words.
Kelly Gunther:At the end of the day, you have to have it all as a puzzle piece the determination, the confidence, the belief. They all really go hand in hand, because if you don't have all the puzzle pieces put together, you're not going to be able to achieve anything and anything or everything that you want. And that was the same as I was as a skater. You know, if I did the work and I had all of the background of it, then I knew I could go to the starting line ready to go prepared. And I'm not saying every race was perfect and butterflies and rainbows, and neither is life. But once you have that determination and all of those back puzzle pieces together, you will be able to conquer everything and anything that you want to. I think that's what is so important about online dating and finding love, or even, at the end of the day to be honest with you, carrie finding yourself, and that is such a huge, huge thing. And if you can't love yourself, you can't love everybody or anybody else that you want to.
Kerry Brett:It's so interesting what you say about this puzzle piece, because there's the determination, there's the free will and the showing up and then doing the work which you did. I mean, not everyone can say they're an Olympian. I mean I'm kind of an Olympic dater but like that's the only thing I'm an Olympian at, but timing too. So you show up but also someone takes notice. So you were on Molly Dare's show and Molly is like the first lady of Clubhouse, which I think is so fascinating, and I definitely want her to come on my show. But she's had a guest or two on her show that I've had and she pulled me up on stage on Clubhouse and you heard me on stage and you wrote me and you said Carrie, I'm Kelly, I'm an Olympian and I'm single and I'd love to come on your show.
Kerry Brett:And I think this is the cool thing is that Clubhouse is a way to connect. It's just a tool. It's the same thing as a dating app. It's a way to put people in front of you and connect with people all over the world that you would never connect with. And I think people have this awful like stigma around online dating and these dating apps. But they're actually a gift, especially in a pandemic. They're a gift and just like Clubhouse is a gift, because we all want to be seen, we all want to be heard. But you have to be willing to put yourself out there. And I pushed you the other day to pitch your story and I was like you can do this, you're the comeback kid, use that, just do it. Don't think so much about it, just do it. So I'm pushing you, but can you draw the parallels to you're putting yourself out there in a big way on Clubhouse, so you can do that online.
Kelly Gunther:Absolutely, you totally can, and I love that you totally remind me of that story, because you do have to push yourself and or you need somebody to push you. I've totally, completely, 1000 percent. And you have to step into that mindset and as soon as Carrie told me that, I was like, yeah, you're right, I am the comeback kid, like nothing stops me and it's the same as parallel as with dating, and having that mindset, as with Clubhouse and putting yourself out there and it has to be persistent and you have to keep showing up time and time again. And it is so hard not to get that instant feedback that you may want.
Kelly Gunther:I will be the first one to raise my hand and say, oh, I was doing so good. And then you take five steps backwards. You know, because we're so, at least for myself, like I so need that right away. Um, I don't know if I want to say attention, but that right away, like gravity, to know that what I'm going after is what I should be going after instead of taking the baby steps and just showing up every single day. Because, even though you may not get that instant feedback that you want, showing up is just as important every single day. So, yes, I'm single, and to put myself out there every single day in a way that maybe I don't want to, it builds your confidence and it builds who you are, and Clubhouse is an exact, amazing tool for that and also for professionally.
Kerry Brett:Yeah, I think if you're afraid to try online dating, I would say, give Clubhouse a whirl, because I remember my first day I ended up on the largest stage on Clubhouse with Steve Osher, who's the godfather of podcasting. So it was like I landed on stage with Tony Robbins and I didn't know what I was doing. I was literally shaking, but I was so determined that people were like who is this person? How did she get up on stage? And it was my willingness and my determination.
Kerry Brett:It's a combination of all of it and I think we're all like baby giraffes. You know it's awkward and we're going to fall and not walk so gracefully. But I think there's a lot to be learned from you, because you did lace up those skates. Let's start with your learning disability, because I have a learning disability as well. I was put in that learning disability column but I have ADD and people often say you know, Carrie, I noticed you talk about your ADD quite a bit on your show and I'm like, well, that's all of me. I mean, that's, that's my focus, that's what makes me me, and for a long time you struggled with this and it's where you find yourself in the struggle. So can you talk about your learning disability and how it pointed you in a different direction as far as skating.
Kelly Gunther:Yes, absolutely. I really struggled with it, more so middle school, high school the most, because, you know, in elementary school you don't really know that you're separated in a different, smaller classroom. I mean, I at least not knew no different until I noticed I was quote, unquote, I guess different, um, and a smaller classroom, away from everybody. And I struggled so much with it as, and I just wanted to be that girl Like I just wanted to fit in with everybody else and gratefully so I did have my skating. So I really gravitated to that so much because on my skates and when I put my skates on my feet, I could be that girl, I could just skate as fast as I could and I could beat the guys and I could, you know, give the best of the best or run for their money and be the younger skater. And that's what really drove my confidence. And as I struggled with it in high school especially because I never dated in school, because I was always Kelly the skater girl, or you know, I was in a different classroom and I remember even my junior or senior year, a classmate had said, you know, kelly, like why don't we see you in her classes? Where are you? And I think I responded back. Well, I totally played it off, but I responded back as in oh like, I just have extra homework to do because, like of my skating or whatever the case was, and it was actually just because I wasn't smart enough to be in those classes where I was so embarrassed by that then where now I'm such a huge advocate of it and I want to be because it's something I'm so proud of and something that I've so overcame of it by opening up and by sharing my stories and by just saying just that, what I said, and being so ashamed of it and helping other girls. You know, come over that and it's not easy. And I think why it's so cool as well is because I'm still friends with my special ed teachers and they're not just my teachers now, but they've become my friends and I laugh and granite say yes, they are all my, all will always be my teachers.
Kelly Gunther:My teacher in seventh and eighth grade just retired this year and she, she's kind of going through that process. You know that I just went through almost four years ago redefining herself and what is her identity going to be? She's always been a teacher and I still call her by her name and I said you know, miss Birdie, like you're, you will always be a teacher and you will always be teaching somebody rather it's your grandkids now and you'll always be teaching me one way or another. You know, I will always come to you for help with my speeches and you know, whatever the case may be, so as embarrassed as I was, it's something that I'm so proud of because I've learned and grow to have those connections and to be able to know that it's something not to be ashamed of. And if I could go back to that middle school, high school girl, I would be just as proud as I am now. Then, and you know help others, you know sit in that classroom, but yet to be proud of it.
Kerry Brett:Yeah, it's. There's all different types of ways to learn and Robert Downey Jr has an earpiece. They feed him the lines you know. Tom Cruise has dyslexia. David Sedaris, who I love, is an amazing writer. He had a speech impediment, and so these people are pretty gifted and they just learned and processed. Their brain was so uniquely different that they learned a different way.
Kerry Brett:And you felt and I felt this my whole life as well that you always felt like you had something to prove, and I think when you have someone who believes in you, then like your teacher or like me, who pushed you up on that stage to give you a pitch it means so much because you sometimes need someone to tell you you can do this, and that's why I relied so heavily on my girlfriends when I was online dating, because they would just remind me that someone would love me.
Kerry Brett:You know, because I kept failing and I kept getting my heart broken and I had to get back out there and it was really hard, since you spent the majority of your life feeling like you had to prove to everyone else that you could do it. You would tend to overperform or outskate the race, and I remember one time hearing Britney Spears' mother say I never put pressure on Britney because she put so much pressure on herself. And I think wanting something so bad is an energy and that's why I always encourage people to believe that they will find love and they just need to know it. And I think when you get knocked down, you lose your belief in yourself. So can you talk about that?
Kelly Gunther:Absolutely and believe is such a huge thing and and proving others wrong. And I say I feed off of that. I feed off a mega energy because my whole life I've had to prove myself because, as you did this intro, I wasn't the girl that was first and I wasn't the girl that was last. I was always right there and, excuse me, I had to keep proving that I was going to keep coming up and I was going to keep showing up in races and in school, even though I had to work harder and to have that belief system and having other coaches my mom really who pushed me as well to believe in me, to know that I could do it and I can do it. But at the end of the day, if you don't have that belief in yourself, sure you can have others alongside of you, absolutely, but you have to know within yourself that you can do it and that you have the belief in you.
Kelly Gunther:And with the proving part, I I, as I said, I feed off of that. So I love when somebody tells me that I can't do something because I'm so used to that willpower inside of me and that drive where I say to myself okay, like I'm not only going to prove to myself that I can do it, but I'm going to prove and show you that I will be there on that Olympic team or I will show up for whatever event or case it is and I will be there. And because it's that belief I have in myself and that system that I've just created for who I am and that's really the hints of the comeback kid is because I will always come back and I'll always prove to anybody and everybody that I can do it.
Kerry Brett:You know it's this training, is that perseverance? And you know, you said you never became a cheerleader and you never took a day off from training, and I feel like I never took a day off either for it. And that's why I was successful quite quickly. Once I figured out how to navigate these dating apps, I was like the Rocky Balboa of Tinder and no matter what, I just kept running, I just kept swiping, I just kept going, and I think that's the key. That's why I'm like if you can become an Olympian, you can find love on dating apps. Are you kidding me? But when you're alone, and so many people are alone with this pandemic and you're in your head, you tend to second guess yourself. And so I want to talk about imposter syndrome, because the two of us can swing from this pendulum often, and I want this show to be a support system for the listeners and to be that reminder that we can do it. So can you talk about imposter syndrome?
Kelly Gunther:Absolutely yeah, and I think, coming from such of a high level where I kind of struggle with it as in, because I was at that stage and quote, unquote the top, and now I'm like swinging right back to it where I have to know that it's okay that I'm not quote, unquote the top anymore and I can work my way back up to where I want to get to, and it's such a huge mindset of a switch to to know that it's okay to to have it and to grow with it, to be able to come stronger with why like to learn that identity and that what that is, to be able to keep going to the top yeah, because you, you talk about it like you're like I'm Kelly the skater, but then there's Kelly the person, and I had that too, where I had this career and I was in my career, and then it was like who is Carrie the person and how do I split the two?
Kerry Brett:when I was dating, because I was a girl who competed at a high level, but you know daily, but then at the end of the day I just wanted someone to talk to and someone to love me. And so I think sometimes and I know from helping a lot of women there's a lot of successful women who listen to this show. There's a lot of successful women out there and sometimes people fall into the category that they're almost like too successful for their own good and then that becomes a block, and that shouldn't become a block, because what makes you successful is makes you amazing. So I don't know, I don't know if you want to expand on that or not.
Kelly Gunther:No, I totally can, because I feel like I fit right into that. And it's hard because being so successful and seeing you know other women and having you know their, the CEO or whatever the case is, you know that group of you know females. And I think I see it in others where it's hard to be able to meet guys on that same field, because the women that we are, and we've created for ourselves to be that successful, sometimes they are not as confident or they're timid because of what you have. I remember I had met a newscaster who had followed me to, actually, the Sochi Olympics from here in Cleveland, ohio, and she's maybe a year or two older than I am and she was having the same problem because she was very successful.
Kelly Gunther:She was a news anchor, you know this. She had her bio, you know the whole nine yards. And she, I remember her telling me it was so hard for her to meet a guy because of how timid they were, because of who she was. You know she's always on TV and she, you know she had everything set out for her to be. And so I I see it in other women just, you know, at the success that they have to be able to, you know, meet other guys, but that, um, if a guy loves you, I mean that doesn't stop them of what success you have.
Kerry Brett:Right, right. So what I would say to that is she would need to vet these guys really fast and if they are, that's on them. If they don't like how successful she is, well, that's their problem. Through these people, and I would not take it personally, I wouldn't let it set you back, because I know for a fact my boyfriend pushes me every day to be my full potential and he's not threatened. Is it easy being me some days? No, but this is the package. You know, this is who I am and I can't change that. But I found love and everyone else can. But it's a combination of the mindset, the willingness, the timing, the putting the action forward. So I want to talk about the comeback kid, because people are hurting right now and the comeback is always stronger than the setback. But you know you were named the comeback kid in the Olympics. I mean that's pretty incredible. I mean that's your nickname, but that happened because you had an accident. Can you talk about what happened and how your life changed so profoundly?
Kelly Gunther:I actually love talking about this as a comeback is always stronger than the setback. And it's absolutely completely true. And walking into it, you have to know it is a total mindset. And laying on that ice with my foot hanging off as a double compound fracture, I had told myself you know I can look once because I knew my foot hanging off as a double compound fracture. I had told myself you know I can look once because I knew my foot was broken. At that time I did not know it was hanging on my leg and I had said I'm never gonna, I'm just gonna look at that once and not look again. And that's exactly what I did. But from that very exact moment when I looked and knew it wasn't attached to my leg anymore, that's the thought of never not skating again never crossed my mind. I knew I was going to get on that ice again. I knew I was headed to surgery and knew it was going to be a long road ahead of me, a long journey. I didn't know how many surgeries, but I knew I was going to come back. And it was exactly just like that six-year-old little girl. When you have that mindset, you have that mindset and it's that fire inside of you where absolutely nothing stops you. You have that drive and so, having that negativity as a setback to me, again, I used it as a positive and I used it as you know, I'm going to prove everybody wrong that I just didn't make the 2010 Olympic team and I now have four years ahead of me, but I'm going to use this ability to my best and I'm going to have the most fun with it that I can.
Kelly Gunther:I did all of my rehab at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. I never was a girl that went to college. So Colorado Springs for me, I looked at it as my college. I had wanted to live there ever since I was a teenager and did inline speed skating, but of course, roller skates is not in the Olympics and long track speed skating is only in Salt Lake City and Milwaukee, so my odds were very limited. So getting to do rehab there was everything for me.
Kelly Gunther:My first month I was a little bit miserable. I didn't have many friends and just I. But I knew I was in the right spot and it quickly changed, uh, after I met one friend and then that led to another and the reason why I loved Colorado so much and why it was so special and not only became my support group but I also fell in love with. Fell in love with a gymnast. He was my first boyfriend. The men's gymnastic team was based out of there. My rehab just became so much more fun than it already had been.
Kelly Gunther:Uh, because of the person that I was with. And getting to do that journey, uh, you know, with him was so neat. And you know, to be able to kind of step out of that world where I didn't have to be Kelly the skater, I just got to be Kelly the athlete and step into others world, not only the gymnast that I dated, to step into his world and see how he competed, but all the other friends that I met, like the wrestlers, the swimmers and you know. So, to be able to support them and, you know, watch them grow was, was so remarkable.
Kelly Gunther:But going back to the love story, I mean it was a true, a true love story at the end of the day and I will always carry that with me forever. And to you know, just to make you know, I, like I said, I made rehab the best that I could and it was also because of that whole support group around me to be able to push through. And so I always say my foot hanging off was the best thing that could ever happen to me. And having the head doctor, you know, four years later being at the stands at my Olympic race is something that will always be so special to me, because it all goes back to that, you know, support group that I had, you know, leading up to it.
Kerry Brett:It's so nice. So the gymnast could he do like a backflip to show you how much he loved you?
Kelly Gunther:I'm like thinking like Mitch Gaylord, what was?
Kerry Brett:that movie where someone fell in love with a gymnast.
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Kerry Brett:Try some today, but I'm a lot older so people don't remember my pop culture references, but it is. I heard you say that one time before that you allowed yourself to look once, but you told yourself that, with or without your foot, you would come back to the Olympics. And that is so amazing and I think you have to decide. And that's where I want to talk about you being single, because limiting beliefs really is the block for people, and I feel it's my job to help people dismantle them. And there are a million reasons why you can't do something, and there's a million reasons why you can do something, but if you want to find love, you just can't have any blocks. So you, right now, I'm going to be working on you to join online dating, but you're like I think I'm getting you to think a little bit more openly to it, but talk about that where you're not really like feeling the online dating apps right now. So there's a lot of people out there listening, so this is a good one to talk about.
Kelly Gunther:Yes, it is people out there listening, so this is a good one to talk about. Yes, it is. So, you want to meet someone. You want to meet someone organically and you want to date an NFL player.
Kerry Brett:I mean you have to wait for the time. Yeah, I was laughing because I hung up the phone with you earlier today and I said I don't know what we're going to do about her because she's pretty zoned into dating just an NFL player. And my boyfriend was like you dated an NFL player. I was like, oh my God, I totally forgot. And I had to laugh because it was by chance that I met someone on Tinder that was a Patriots player and that happened.
Kerry Brett:That's why you can find people that are successful on these dating apps and I know that to be true. But you know you're getting clear about what you want and you I would broaden it and maybe say I want to date an athlete because you have this athlete mindset and for me, I never really wanted to date a photographer because I already I had a photographer in my family with was my dad. So I find it interesting that I never really wanted to date a photographer because I already I had a photographer in my family with my dad. So I find it interesting that I never dated a photographer. I have a lot of photographers who are friends of mine, but I can understand that. That's like energy. But that's where people become very closed in a sense because there's a big world out there and you just don't know, I keep thinking that whoever's going to come in your field, what if there's a big world out there and you just don't know?
Kerry Brett:I keep thinking that whoever's going to come in your field, what if he's a motivational speaker? You know like, because you're a motivational speaker, or what if there's something you actually talented? People have other talents. You know there's something else out there for you. So what you ask for, you will get. That's what I would say about that, but also how you ask for it matters. So I want to talk about confidence, because you told me the funniest story, like how you're like I turn heads, like my friend Christine's out dating and she's really confident and she should be because she has a lot to offer. And I'll say you ready to go out on this date and she's like, yeah, I'm adorable. It's like really funny to me because she's like I'm gonna do fine because I'm adorable and I think that attitude isn't arrogant.
Kerry Brett:it's like what you have to do to survive, in a sense, and you must zone in on your strengths on these dating apps. So you have this X factor and I'm watching it on Clubhouse. So talk about your confidence.
Kelly Gunther:Confidence is probably one of my favorite words besides, amongst a lot of others. The reason why it is one of my favorites as long as, like I said, believe, um, because I didn't have either. I didn't believe in myself and I sure, in the heights, didn't have any confidence in myself, and I think that's why I gravitate so much more to it now, and it being a favorite word, because I worked so hard to get it and I worked to have that confidence within inside myself and I strong on my own two feet to be able to have it. Because confidence can come and go Absolutely, but if you are confident within who you are, you will be able to date anybody that you want to, and what you ask for is what you will receive. Just like Carrie you just had told me, if I'm set on an NFL player or coach or whatever the case may be, uh, sure, that could happen, but it happens because of that confidence.
Kelly Gunther:And earlier today I had told you, you know, someone had told me when I was a teenager, a friend, you know, walk in like you own the place. Uh, and it took me a long time to to be able to walk into the room like I own it and sure enough, today I will say that to myself. If I'm walking into a bar or a restaurant, whatever the case is, when I'm fully dressed up, with my makeup on, I will, like I said, say it underneath my breath like Kelly, walk in like you own this place and right off the bat I can see the confidence people see in me, because I see the eyes and I see the head turning and there's nothing more of a powerful feeling just within yourself, because you know how hard you work to get that confidence and you work that hard to keep the confidence. Like I said, it comes and goes, but for myself I work really hard to have it because I know that's what drives me from the inside out and to be able to feed off other people Like I. Want others to have that confidence just as much as I have the confidence within myself and that's why I want to be a motivational speaker and tell my story is for you to be able to have what I have.
Kelly Gunther:If you don't have it, I know not every woman or female have the confidence within themselves and it's very hard to go through that process to be able to get it. But if you have a partner to help you, or a friend, or whatever it is. Accountability partner, uh, to push you to have the confidence within yourself. You can do it and you just have to act like you own the place If it's starting out walking into like TJ Maxx or whatever the store is, or whatever the case is, you know, just like little baby steps.
Kelly Gunther:And so you walk into that grand entrance of where you want to make the grand entrance. Every single time after that, you will have that same effect within, within yourself, and that's where it grows.
Kerry Brett:That's so good. I love that. And I wrote about my first date one time and I walked into the room and there was like a wind tunnel and I could even like approach it like Marilyn Monroe or, you know, cindy Crawford in the Pepsi commercial or I could just let it ruin that moment of walking into my first date. And it's kind of funny. But and I overdressed and I made the joke that I looked like I was going to host the country music awards with what I was wearing, but I was in it to win it and there's something about heart. People hear heart, they hear compassion, they hear suffering. I love that.
Kerry Brett:That's going to be a tip. Walk into the place like you own it, that you have this. Believe in yourself, even if you don't believe in yourself, but there's heart too. Believe in yourself even if you don't believe in yourself, but there's heart too. And people will see that if you are willing and able to be vulnerable enough to put it out there, and people will love that and there's a million people who will love you. So my last question is what mistake? I always love the mistakes and especially you know I have a comeback hit here. So you've fallen down seven times and got up. But is there a mistake that you think would either be around online dating or you made in training, or expecting things to happen when you're manifesting big dreams or goals?
Kelly Gunther:I think right now actually being, you know, ready for it to happen ever since retirement, because I know what I want and having to get there has been such a struggle and knowing that I have to be knocked down to be able to come back up and for me to grow and to remind myself of who I am it was almost that exact scenario that I had to go through, that I had to be knocked down because my whole life I have been and I've gotten up every single time, like Kara, you just said it, you know, fall down seven times, get back up eight. That's exactly where I'm at right now and it's a learning process for me to keep standing up, and that's why I want to be open and be vulnerable, because as much confidence as I have and had, I, you know, was that girl that didn't always have it. Oh my gosh, no, like. It took me years, didn't always have it. Oh my gosh, no, like it took me years upon years to get it.
Kelly Gunther:Uh, if you remember, I wasn't until my early twenties when I very had my first boyfriend and that took my leg falling off my leg or my foot falling off my leg to to where am I at today Like am I doing something wrong?
Kelly Gunther:You know what is it?
Kelly Gunther:But to to grow within myself and to open up and to to be vulnerable and to help as many as I can, from learning how to fall down to learning how to get back up, because I know it's a struggle, I know it's hard and it's very hard to redefine yourself and redefine that identity to what you know mistakes that I've made.
Kelly Gunther:It's probably, you know, not being as uh, taking the baby steps and not being so hard on myself since retirement, and it's just some. It's a huge process that you know we go through as having to be who we are now. You know, for so long I've been just one single person to not having to be so hard on myself and I am my biggest, worst competitor always and I always have been to know that it's okay that I'm not at the top of the best speaking engagements right now, but I will get there and just learning that process all over again and my biggest regret is just, you know, coming out of the gate thinking that I was going to be where I really have to just stop and breathe and know that it takes time and everything takes time.
Kerry Brett:So great. Well, I believe in you and I'm cheering you on, and that's the message is like you had it all along, like you, you have it, and if you stand up for yourself and pull yourself back up and get back out there, this is your time. This is everyone's time to shine, and so thanks so much for sharing your story and all your amazing motivational tips and all of it. You're just so great. I'm so glad that we met and I can't wait to see what's in store for you in the future Hopefully an NFL player, and then you'll have to come back on with him. So where can people find out more about you?
Kelly Gunther:Thank you so much, gary, for having me. You truly just. We've become friends and I'm so honored and grateful to be on your podcast today. But anyone and everyone can find me on Instagram. It's just my name, kelly Gunther. I am on Clubhouse, so hop on over there to find me, follow me, and I always say I'm the girl next door. So if you have any questions, whatnot? Always free, feel free to DM me. I will answer the best that I can. And no, I love friendships. So if you want and you know I love friendship so if you want to become a friend, I'm here.
Kerry Brett:Oh, that's so great. And so this Saturday at 11, we're going to host a shot at Love Room and we're going to take our people with us, absolutely, we're all finding love A clubhouse, so fun.
Kerry Brett:So thanks so much and we'll see you next time. And for now, this week's Tinder tips In honor of our 2014 Olympic comeback kid Kelly Gunther these come directly from her. Number one stride confidently into that date and act as if you own the place. Number two be in the lane of your own. Don't skate away from who you truly are. Number three remember the comeback is always greater than the setback. Just look at Kelly Gunther. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is what Shot at Love is here for To help you find love. Keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Remember to stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes. I want to thank Feedspot for naming Shot at Love top 10 and dating podcast. If you like this show, please subscribe and leave a five-star review. I'm Keri Brett and we'll see you next time. You.
