Shot At Love
Shot At Love is the first motivational dating show of its kind. It teaches you how to be successful in online dating while inspiring the listeners to go for it. You can find love, and are worthy of it. Shot At Love with Kerry Brett - Me, Exposed- Introduction to Shot At Love Podcast with celebrity photographer Kerry Brett.
Shot At Love
Find Success During the Holidays: From Loneliness to Purpose
Find Success During the Holidays: From Loneliness to Purpose. The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. Yet, for many, it can also be a period of deep loneliness, especially after life-altering events like a breakup, loss, or significant change. The journey from loneliness to purpose during the holidays is one of resilience, reflection, and transformation—a path that can lead to newfound success and fulfillment.
A Journey to Overcome Holiday Loneliness
Spending the holidays alone can feel overwhelming. Dr. Tricia Rose, a former optometrist turned life coach, knows this all too well. After her divorce, she faced the daunting prospect of navigating Christmas alone. But instead of succumbing to despair, Tricia used this time to turn inward, reflect, and ultimately transform her experience of solitude into one of peace and purpose.
Through her blog, "Rose Colored Glasses", Tricia shares actionable strategies to help others in similar situations. She emphasizes the importance of managing expectations and reframing the holidays as just another day, which can empower individuals to approach the season without undue pressure or anxiety.
Finding Meaning in Solitude
Dr. Tricia Rose and Kerry Brett dive into the nuances of loneliness versus solitude, offering insights on how carving out personal time can be a deliberate, fulfilling choice. For those wrestling with the "inner Grinch," holiday triggers can stir unresolved emotions. Yet, these moments also present opportunities for self-growth and healing. Find Success During the Holidays: From Loneliness to Purpose.
Embracing solitude isn’t about isolation, it’s about finding peace in your own company. Self-compassion, kindness, and small, meaningful interactions can serve as powerful tools to bridge the gap between loneliness and connection.
Discovering Purpose Through Giving
One of the most effective ways to combat loneliness is by redirecting energy toward meaningful endeavors. Volunteering, engaging in charity work, or giving heartfelt, handmade gifts can create a ripple effect of positivity. Tricia and Kerry emphasize how stepping outside of daily routines and helping others can foster a sense of purpose and community. Find Success During the Holidays: From Loneliness to Purpose.
The simple act of giving, whether it's time, attention, or a carefully chosen gift, can transform your holiday experience. These gestures not only uplift others but also provide a sense of accomplishment and joy that can brighten even the loneliest days.
Embracing Self-Care and Gratitude
Self-care plays a pivotal role in finding success during the holidays. Indulge in activities that bring you comfort, whether that’s cozying up with a good book, preparing your favorite meal, or exploring a new hobby. Gratitude is another key element; taking time to appreciate the good in your life, no matter how small, can shift your perspective and enhance your overall well-being.
Tune In and Transform Your Holiday
For more inspiration, tune in to podcasts on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and NewsBreak, where Dr. Tricia Rose and Kerry Brett share their insights. Follow their journeys on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn to discover more ways to find connection and purpose during the holidays.
This season, let go of the traditional notions of what the holidays "should" look like. Instead, embrace your unique journey, transforming loneliness into an opportunity for self-discovery and success. Whether through connection, giving, or self-care, you have the power to create a holiday filled with meaning and joy. Find Success During the Holidays.
I'm Carrie Brett, and this is Shot at Love. Today's guest is Dr Tricia Rose, an optometrist and philanthropist who recently launcheda new blog, rose Colored Glasses. Rose Colored Glasses is a space for women to gather stories about self-love, relationships, new beginnings and giving back. Tricia believes life is about learning, letting go and moving forward. In this week's episode, we will discuss how to celebrate Christmas on our own. This holiday season will feel lonely and different for everyone, while many of us will be spending it alone. Trisha will share tips that helped her in the past, strategies we all should turn to this year when we come back. Trisha will share her lens on loneliness and how to overcome these failings during this pandemic holiday season. You won't want to miss it, so stay tuned.
Speaker 1:Dr Tricia Rose is an accomplished optometrist who created a charity called Envision Boston Giving, which gifted inner city children screenings and glasses. Giving back and helping others was always who Tricia was at the core. Tricia was successful in every sense of the word, but she also faced her fair share of setbacks. She got divorced when her daughter was just three months old and the universe had other plans for her. She got married, sold her practice, wrote a book on motherhood and launched a new blog. Tricia and her husband, tim Stone, are currently busy blending their families along both coasts, splitting their time between Boston and LA. Tricia knows an awful lot about challenges and changes, as well as spending the holidays alone. It's my pleasure to welcome my amazing friend, tricia Rose. Welcome, tricia.
Speaker 2:Hi Keri, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Oh, thanks so much for being here. Christmas sure came early for me. What a gift to have you here. I'm psyched, thank you.
Speaker 1:So today we're going to talk about this tough week, because it's going to be a tough week whether you're single or not, and most of us have felt extremely isolated and alone during this pandemic. We're tired, we're worn out. Today we're going to talk about how we can put a plan in place to combat these feelings of loneliness during this challenging holiday season. I'm going to share what I think works, and Trisha's going to share her seven strategies from a recent article on rose-colored glasses. So, trisha, are you ready to do this? Yes, all right, let's dive right in.
Speaker 1:The holidays are hard in general, especially if you've recently experienced a breakup or lost a loved one. Preventing the spread of COVID has led to canceling holiday trips and holiday plans, leaving most people disappointed, heartbroken and sad. I think we have to realize that this holiday isn't going to be like most years and we need to manage our expectations because really it's one day and I know that's helped a lot of people, especially during Thanksgiving. When I say that to helped a lot of people, especially during Thanksgiving, when I say that to them I say you know what, if you're having a bad day, go to bed early. When you wake up it's not a holiday. You know it's really one day and you can do anything for one day and then it will be a new year and new beginnings.
Speaker 1:So you and I I really thought we have gone through holidays alone together. We've supported each other during certain holidays, we've healed and cried and had. You know, different things bring up the past and we've worked through it and we've helped support each other. And I think when you live through so many holidays alone and you and you get divorced or you have bad breakups, that that you fundamentally change and you think and you look out for people who are suffering and are isolated and that stays with you and you never. You know that empathy of that pain is so raw and it's so blueprinted and ever-present in your mind. And when I ever saw this article that you wrote, I thought this is just so perfect for the mission of what you're trying to do with rose-colored glasses. So people are heartbroken, they're sad, it's not going to be like most years. Let's talk about how you learned to cope when your daughter was with her dad and your top tips and what worked for you.
Speaker 2:Great, great. I want to say first, though, something kind of about what kind of in reaction to what you just said before about having to go through difficult holidays in the past. And I do think that way. I think that there are some people that maybe are very, very blessed, that are our age and that have not experienced difficult holidays where someone isn't there whether it's someone is sick or they're recently divorced or their child isn't with them because they're divorced and their child's with their ex-spouse and it really does change the way for me. It changed the way I experienced the holiday season, because I had to make it work, I had to survive it, I had to find alternative strategies so that I could wrap up the holiday season and still feel good about it, feel like I made the most of it. So I do think when you've been down that road, you do have just a different compassion, or just you look for people that are alone, because you've been that person before.
Speaker 1:Right Right, I talked about being the Grinch on my last episode with Sid McNary the Grinch on my last episode with Sid McNary and he said you know, you need to lose being the Grinch or he had the utmost compassion for someone who was the Grinch because he felt and he'll be fine with me talking about this but he felt that what was wrong with that person that became so angry or so depressed during the holiday? Something had to happen to them in their past. When I read that in his book, I was like, oh my God, I need to heal the Grinch. And so I made it a point to decorate this elaborate tree and I spent the entire day and the next morning the tree was on the ground and everything was broken and I texted Sid and I said well, old habits die hard.
Speaker 1:And he was like I'm laughing so hard right now, and I said, I could have slipped at that point into a real bad depression. But I caught myself, I went out, went out and I went shopping and got a few new things and I came back and I'll tell you, the tree is 10 times more beautiful because I I don't know, I was just determined to make it look nice for like four days to then take down. But you know, I, I am working on healing that inner Grinch and uh, and even now I'm in a relationship almost five years and I still have trouble. So even if you're in a happy relationship, those feelings just never go away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's also like a storyline that sometimes gets stuck in our head and our minds, that we're replaying what we felt on past holidays years ago. Those feelings just come right to the surface, even when life overall can be pretty good. It's like they're still inside and they, they, they're going to come up. The feelings are going to come up on the holidays. The holidays are so hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they are hard and the triggers with the different shows like Elf or um, you know the polar express, like I remember. It's so funny to think of.
Speaker 2:Elf as a trigger, but yeah, you know the polar express, like I remember. It's so funny to think of elf as a trigger, but yeah, you know you've had a hard life.
Speaker 1:I mean, don't even put me near a wonderful life Like just don't even have it in the room. Um, I love the sound of music though, because I just watched that as a child, so that's a happy memory. But I'm telling you, this week I'm already wearing a helmet. This is really a hard time. So it was important to me to address this loneliness, because those are the people who send me cards, those are my people, those are the people who write me notes and listen to the show, and I wish there was a way. And I talked to someone today who is single and she said to me why don't people reach out?
Speaker 1:They're all suffering in silence, ashamed and alone at home, in pain, and they don't reach out, and I've seen this so much with this past year, where people are in survival and they can't get out of their own way. And so today we are going to give some strategies which I think are going to help, and I'm going to weigh in, and I have my own twisted ones, but yours are very elegant and intelligent. So here are Tricia Rose's seven tips for overcoming feelings of loneliness this holiday season. Number one remember the difference between loneliness and solitude. Tricia, can you expand on this?
Speaker 2:Yes, because when you're alone in a room, you can view it either as okay, I'm really lonely, like I'm sitting here and I'm looking at the four walls and I'm watching TV and I'm feeling this extreme loneliness inside. And take the same exact situation where you're alone in a room and if you experience it as solitude, there is a peacefulness that goes with it and you feel almost like you're making a choice to be alone. It's not such a punishment or an extremely painful experience, it's just you're in solitude right now. It's temporary, you're just kind of.
Speaker 2:I put an image in there of the sailboat because it's like you're floating through, you're like a sailboat and you can see in the distance. There are other sailboats you could. You could sail closer to if you want to, but at this moment you're choosing to just be floating alone, on your own, as your own sailboat, and it's like a lot more peaceful and reassuring because you're you're alone. Alone but you're part of something else. You're connected, but you're choosing that moment for solitude. It's almost like a moment to have more self-care, versus lonely, which is very full of despair right like really a very different.
Speaker 2:It's like two sides of a coin. One side of the coin is I'm having a beautiful day in solitude, enjoying my thoughts, enjoying the music I'm listening to, enjoying the book I'm reading versus devastation. Like I'm alone. I'm so lonely.
Speaker 1:But it's the same exact circumstance and you're like, oh, solitude, a sailboat, and I look at it and I just think of like Tom Hanks in Castaway, like drowning and screaming for Wilson, like you know, like that's how my mind works. But you have this beautiful way of framing things, like it's not loneliness, it's solitude.
Speaker 2:I'm like you know, yeah, I know, I know. But you know, I think that, think that of course there are times you're going to feel the loneliness I mean. I'm going to feel lonely like I had again. Like we talked before about being divorced. Very young I had my little tiny daughter going to Canada, 2,000 miles away, the entire Christmas holiday every other year and I had moments of extreme pain and loneliness like I just couldn't believe I had the holiday without her. But over time I developed a way of looking at it as, like this is my time for myself, that I'm going to enjoy my solitude.
Speaker 2:I chose a different path.
Speaker 1:Right, you totally did, and we're going to talk about the different things you did and I. It just shows the lack of information. I mean, we both got divorced with babies and having that little child with a little you know backpack to go off.
Speaker 3:It's awful, I mean it's that will never leave you.
Speaker 2:No, no, it's awful.
Speaker 1:It is awful. Um, it's really sad. Uh, I can remember my divorce lawyer saying she's only going to celebrate Santa these many years and then it will be done, and I'm like that's such a depressing way to frame it. But you had to kind of go into some kind of military mindset to just get through these holidays. It's it really, um is crazy. But I do think it's the way you reframe this day. And this is where I think what you're trying to do and what you are successful in doing with rose colored glasses, is how, how are we going to change our attitude? And I think this year, because I'm not the Grinch anymore, and day by day and hour by hour, I'm really trying. I'm looking at the holiday as an opportunity to be alone, with no obligation and a free pass to have a day off.
Speaker 2:You know it's true, and I remember this is kind of silly, but I remember listening one time to Oprah saying something about this, about, like how there's nothing more blissful to her than just being alone, like it's. I think when you get to the other side of it, I think when you really go through all these different like I don't know evolutions or whatever it is, you get to that point where that's your happiest moment is when you can really be with yourself and really be content and enjoy your own company. But we just have to go through a lot to get to that point.
Speaker 1:But Oprah had Stedman in her dogs. What is she talking about?
Speaker 2:That's true. That's true, she did so. We can't count that.
Speaker 1:No, we can't count that Love, oprah Can't count it. Okay, number two. Now your second tip is the feeling of being connected is mainly a state of mind. Yeah, yeah. And you talk about the feeling of being alone in the middle of a party and that really resonated with me because I can remember being alone and trying to you know, dating and being with my large Irish Catholic family and feeling so alone when I had so many people around me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's really a great example of what I was trying to say in this point, because it is an internal feeling, it's an internal experience.
Speaker 2:I mean I could think of times where I was feeling alone too, and I would be alone in New York City, walking around and feel, and then all of a sudden I would just feel so connected, like I felt like I was part of something bigger even though I was alone.
Speaker 2:So I could feel really connected, walking around Boston by myself or walking around New York by myself or sitting at home, like doing something, I feel like I'm connected, I'm part of this big world, like I'm an important part of this huge, huge master like situation and but yet, like you said, I can be surrounded with my family and friends and be feeling this like inner feeling of like I feel really lonely. So it's like that's a great like you can turn it. You can turn it into the other way if you you can. You can seek that feeling of connection when you are alone and you can think of times in your past when you were alone and felt really connected and like look at that time and say, oh yeah, I felt in your past when you were alone and felt really connected and like look at that time and say, oh yeah, I felt that way before when I was alone. I'm going to try to feel that way now as much as I can.
Speaker 1:Right, I was talking to someone this morning about dating during the holidays and I was like I went on a date on December 23rd who does that other than me? And then I went on a date on Christmas Eve, a second date on Christmas Eve and it worked out great because I didn't have to be alone on Christmas Eve. And then I had a great date for New Year's. But she said, wow, you're really brave. And I was like I don't think that's brave. I think that was someone who couldn't handle being alone. So going out with a stranger on Christmas Eve was better than me, like you said, looking at the four walls.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because I just couldn't bear it. I couldn't do another holiday by myself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know it is. I mean, we all go through our. I feel like everyone has their own process they go through and in these situations and I just feel like for me over the years, when I started to cultivate that sense of connection, that didn't come, you know, out of nowhere, like I went through what you went through, like we probably were very similar, like where I had to go through a lot of painful experiences to finally kind of wake up and be like I can change the way I'm doing this because it is more natural to want to just grab, like just be with someone, even though it's not the right person right.
Speaker 2:Because the loneliness is too big Like you just can't even imagine being alone. So I don't want to say that oh yeah, right away, the first year you're away from your kids, you're going to jump right into the state of mind I'm writing about. That took years. That took a lot of years and time, but at least you can see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you can get to that point where you feel you can choose to feel that interconnection. It's really connecting with your own self and your own higher power. It it's really that connection that's the key. But I wouldn't beat yourself up if this holiday you need to, you just can't do it yeah because this is a really tough holiday.
Speaker 2:This is extreme, so I think everyone should be very kind to themselves, no matter what they're doing, and not judge themselves this year Right.
Speaker 1:So in the number two you talk about different ways that we can feel connected with others, and I can remember we, a couple of us we met, socially distanced, and went swimming in the ocean. Yeah, so fun, it was so fun and it really your friends and other people lift you up. Let's be honest. But what happens for me on the holidays? And now I wonder if this is going to be a thing that people are just going to be alone for the holidays, like for Christmas, like they're going to have that option to do that For me it has been so painful that I don't want to talk to anyone. I would just shut down, get through the day and just not deal. But for the people who do want to feel connected with others, what were some of the suggestions you had on your blog? Do you remember, um?
Speaker 2:I think in that section I talked about reaching out to people like phone calls or zoom calls or like socially distanced gatherings, like even just 10 minutes with someone, like even just a small encounter like you can really lift my spirit like I feel like even just if someone is, you know, if it's really cold and you can't come inside, just meeting outside and having talk, like having a hot chocolate, like standing apart, whatever it is, I really think it can have like an energy shift.
Speaker 2:Like an energy can shift, like you bring up that example of the summer when we were swimming and it's like it really wasn't planned, it wasn't a big deal. We just said, oh, let's meet now. But it's like just even having those like hour or two, it like lift my mood for an entire week.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:It doesn't take much. It's not like you have to have like 12 hours with someone. Right, it doesn't take much. It's not like you have to have like 12 hours with someone, even just a small connection.
Speaker 1:I think is huge, right, so you? So?
Speaker 2:number three is make small talk with others while running errands around town, and this one is the best because I feel like people are literally in relationships with the checkout clerk or the FedEx guy or someone who delivers the checkout clerk or the FedEx guy or someone who delivers DoorDash, like for real, yeah Cause, you know what I feel like when you're in a, in the line at the store or you're waiting, you're DoorDash delivery guy or whatever it's like. You just realize like it's not just me, Like there's all these other people out there and I'm lonely, but this person is working. Like they're actually working right now. They don't have the luxury of like taking a bath right now or watching a movie, and like I can connect with this person. They're also in the same, they're in the same world. I'm in Like it's like a feeling of we're not alone, we're all together. We're together but we're separate, but you know we're, we're all together going through this.
Speaker 1:Right, but it's that small talk I mean, and I feel bad for these clerks because it's, you know, a hello turns into a mini therapy session. And it's true because people are so starved for any connection.
Speaker 2:I know, I know it's true and it's like they, they, they definitely are. And I think that just getting out and having that time I mean I don't know if you've done this, but during this period of time there were moments here in the South Shore where I would go a week without going to get coffee, like my husband brings it home, or like we're ordering in and I'm not doing anything. And then I would go out one time with him or alone, and I'd be like why haven't I been doing this? Like this is a really big deal for me.
Speaker 1:You're like this is a high that I never knew I could have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm like just getting out of my house and driving in my car and seeing little kids, you know, walking down the street and realizing there is life out there, like I can get out of my house and like be part of the life that's happening.
Speaker 1:It's crazy. It's crazy, so I know we can't do this right now, but you, this was brilliant, that you would go to a retreat sometimes. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I did. I did that too. Um, I had that time like I was really, you know, basically a hundred percent single mom because my ex lived in Western Canada. So I had my daughter all the time, and so eventually, when she would go with him, I would make it a really special time for myself. That's how that's what evolved into. So it evolved first from me being dreaded, dreading the whole thing, to eventually saying, okay, this is the year she can be with her dad, so I'm going to go and do three days at Kripalu. I'm going to go do something really special for myself. I'm going to have an at-home retreat this year. I'm going to read this book, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. And so I turned it into a really, really beautiful experience instead of a miserable experience.
Speaker 1:Right, I wish we were friends because I did not do a yoga retreat. Okay.
Speaker 3:You really handle things in a healthy way.
Speaker 1:Tricia. That's good. So, number four, volunteer Tricia. This one's a big one for you, and you believe your charity work was the magnetic force that pulled your husband towards you.
Speaker 2:Oh for sure, for sure. And I think the thing I think about that now too. I was just thinking about it today. Actually, I was thinking about some of the we're working on some charity pieces on my blog, but I was thinking about like there's nothing that's going to get you out of yourself more than volunteering, because you have to step out of your drama, out of your little small drama, and you go into another world where people are actually in need financially or basic supplies. They don't have food, they don't have the warm clothing and it's just takes you immediately out of your own head.
Speaker 2:And so, besides the fact that you're doing something positive for other people, it's like the benefit I'm getting when I do that is I get to step out of my drama, like. I know that sounds silly, but I'm actually forced because I'm looking at someone else saying, okay, I can actually help you, I can do something for you. And I feel really, really good about myself now and I feel happy that I can help you and I can make some kind of improvement and benefit you. And it's just, it's for sure. For me that's like the number one thing.
Speaker 1:I agree, and it's that getting out of your head like you said and you're not focused on yourself, right, you're not focused on your drama, the storyline that you keep telling yourself Right, right, right You're focused on others, which raises your vibration and makes you feel better.
Speaker 2:And also you're doing something with it. It's like when you're volunteering, there's an active part to it. It's not just I'm volunteering by reading this book. It's like I'm engaging with people. I'm engaging, I'm doing something I'm building, I'm making crafts, I'm making cards for people. I'm doing something active which is also, I think, really helpful to get out of my own head.
Speaker 1:Right, and I talk about this year how I was really an autopilot and really busy and working all the time. But it was kind of a good thing because I couldn't think about myself, I had to just keep my business going and all the struggles that small businesses had. And I think about this time now that we're moving into where it tends to get slower and people are like, oh, aren't you excited for that? And I do want to do something that's volunteer, because I do feel like this can be like a little depressing window before we go head into the new year. Do you have any ideas of what people can do to volunteer?
Speaker 2:I actually just put something out today on the website I'm working with a woman on this but we came up with 10 charities that are really focusing on women and children. So I really think, just like going through and finding one of the charities that resonates with you and seeing what they need right now, like if you really want to get involved I'm sure there's need at this moment everywhere, because the need is so high across this country so, just finding one that you feel drawn to, and researching and finding what can I do? Can I show up? Can I deliver meals to people? There's a lot of people that are looking for drivers Can I drive the meals to the homes? Can I bag the groceries? Like what is it that I can do? So I'm sure, like, if you look, you'll find it Right.
Speaker 1:I think that's great and I feel sorry, I feel really bad and it weighs heavily on me that a lot of these charities are the first ones where the cuts have been and they're really struggling. Yeah, no, definitely. And they need the support the most. So number five make some handmade gifts for friends and family this holiday season. So what are you doing?
Speaker 2:differently this year, tricia? Well, I did. I actually I am doing something. This year I baked cookies, which is very cliche. I know a lot of people do that, but I've never done that before really. So I was like I'm going to do that this year and I'm going to listen to some books on tape and I'm going to work on these cookies and I did those. I'm going to deliver those to. You'll be getting some tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be, I'm going to be delivering them to just people right in the community, like within a few miles of our house, and especially people who I have, some people that I know that are alone and I wanted to write a note, and so it's just something to I feel like working with your hands. I mean, I'm not that, that's a tip that I'm practicing myself too at the same time, because I haven't done that as much, but I do feel like it gets very, um, it becomes very, what's the word I'm thinking, uh, just checking the box when you go on Amazon or just wherever you're going, and just ordering everything.
Speaker 2:It's like there isn't the same intention of like what I'm really doing.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And so I'm switching gears and I'm wanting to do something that's a little more personal.
Speaker 1:That's nice. Well, I saw definitely people's appreciation for my photography. You know it's printed by hand, it's created by you, know I created the image. But then that physical print really means so much to people this year. It's really what they really wanted and they felt good and happy supporting local business and it makes you feel good because it does and we're all doing it and thank you for that. And what a year. So, number six, but I think that was a good one, like the handmade gifts, and it's just something that's that you would think of what your little mind.
Speaker 1:Tricia Number six treat yourself well, and I and I think this is really, I mean, it sounds you know treat yourself well. But this is where we have to have a level of compassion for ourselves. I feel like if you want to watch Love Actually, or you know the Bridget Jones, or if you want to watch something funny or sad or something that's going to make you cry, well then do it yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:I think also it comes down to the voice in our head. That's like the real issue, as we're beating ourselves up saying how can you be alone again this year, how could you've gotten yourself into this horrible divorce where you're not with your kids or or you know there's this negative, negative, negative. And instead looking at yourself, looking at yourself and saying you know what, I am actually a really good person and I'm going to take care of myself. This year. I'm alone and I don't have my parents with me.
Speaker 2:This year they're not able to visit. I can't visit them my kids, whatever it is but I'm a good person and I'm going to do things that I want to do. So I have a happy day, like I'm going to plan my meals in advance, I'm going to figure out what movies I want to watch, maybe I'll make my favorite cocktail, I'll listen to my favorite music and take care of yourself because you deserve it. You deserve it because you got through this year. It's been a really, really tough year and if you're there, you're getting through it, you're trying your best and you deserve to really take care of yourself this year, right.
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Speaker 1:So just be nice to yourself. Eat what you want yes, watch it, you know. Read what you want yes. If you don't want to talk to anyone, you don't have to, right? You know if you want to pull a Carrie Bright, you don't have to. Or you don't have to, right, you know. If you want to pull a Carrie Bright, you don't have to. Or you know you can reach out and do some Zoom calls or make a great cocktail and just do the best you can. And if you can't, if you're having a hard day and you can't get out of it, just go to bed early.
Speaker 1:And I'm telling you, I know that we're not going to be like this forever. We're in the homestretch, and when 2021 opens up, there's going to be people that have been on hold. They're going to find love so fast. We're not going to have all this suffering in this holding pattern much longer. No, I agree. So there is hope coming, which leads me to the last tip, and this is great, because here, here you are. You light a candle and you write a list of everything you're grateful for. But what I like about this? Not only do you write what you're grateful for, but you also write a list of the things that you look forward to. Yeah, can you talk about this?
Speaker 2:and I think this is really the key to manifestation and you are like the biggest manifesto I've ever seen, but this is a great little thing that people could add yeah, I feel like this is a time of year to make it more ceremonial and the gratitude piece is like I know that there's been a lot of research done on this, but it really does take people to the highest vibration. Like if you ever look at Abraham Hicks, like the whole really deeply experiencing gratitude is the highest vibration. Like if you ever look at Abraham Hicks, like the whole really deeply experiencing gratitude is the highest vibration on the planet. So, even if just writing that list in one five minute like set a five minute timer and write like the top things you're grateful for right now, in this moment, just to get the vibrations really high, and then you kind of clear the energy, so the energy is positive, and then you can of clear the energy, so the energy is positive, and then you can start to really dream about what you look forward to happening in the new year. And it's not even just wishlist, it's like more than that, it's like what you see, the wonderful things you see happening in the new year, and let yourself dream big on that.
Speaker 2:Just write them down and really um, go through all different areas, like how do you see yourself with your health?
Speaker 2:How do you see your relationship, how do you see your career Like whatever it is, and what dreams you have, like where you want to travel or what you want to do and who you want to be in the new year, like all of these things. And write it down as a ceremonial gift. That's like a gift to yourself, and I put in there too, to like put it somewhere that you'll know it's there. So it's like I like the idea of putting it in a like a little box. That's somewhere like in your closet or something where you don't open it, but you walk by and you see it. You go oh yeah, my list is in there, because, like you're aware of it and you can look back at it and think that was a challenging holiday. But I really did. I was pretty awesome, like I got through it and I don't not only did I have I got to feel gratitude, but I also put some of my dreams in motion during that time.
Speaker 1:So it's like a long-term kind of look back on how the holiday thing Right, well, I'm going to do that and I'm going to text you after I do that on Christmas day, good, but I do think this is a time um, there is opportunity, there really is, and if you have that expansive thinking like you have and I love how you say gratitude is this the highest vibration you can have, and I've never really thought about it like that. But I have to say I'm so grateful to have you and I'm filled with gratitude for our friendship and for you coming back and shot at Love Tricia.
Speaker 1:I think your tips and your blog is amazing. Where can people find out more about your new project?
Speaker 2:Oh, you can just go to wwwrosecoloredglassescom. Okay, and Instagram. Yeah, there's an Instagram handle, rosecoloredglasses, underscore official, but on the site there's links to different social media so you can take a look and just kind of join, because my goal with the blog is to create a community and I love to have other people writing pieces, sharing stories about motherhood, the real experience of motherhood, the real experience of different relationships with parents, with aging parents, with kids going to college, because I feel like there's not enough of a voice for women kind of in our age group that are really going through different experiences now than we were 10 years ago, and I really want to have a place where we could go and kind of connect with each other and share those stories.
Speaker 1:Right, because there's so many things that we're all experiencing that people aren't talking about.
Speaker 2:Then we're not talking about it and also we're a little behind on the tech piece because if you look at blogs, they're so young, like the bloggers. The big bloggers are like 30, 30 to 35. And we're not at that point in our lives and there really isn't enough available to us in terms of resources where we could just go look and say, okay, I'm going through a really hard experience, my kid's going to college, and find the resources right there.
Speaker 1:Right, I can't wait to see this evolve. It's going to be amazing, and thank you so much for sharing your tips and strategies around loneliness and helping us through the holidays and helping open our eyes to new possibilities.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you for having me, Carrie.
Speaker 1:This was great. Thanks, tricia. Thank you, and for now, this week's Tinder tips. Number one if you're feeling depressed, don't compare and stay off social media. Number two be kind to yourself. Eat what you want, binge Netflix or text some new friends on dating apps. Holidays are a great day to connect on these dating sites. Number three the holidays make people nostalgic and it's a push to find love. Take a chance, spend some time on these dating apps, because you never know who's out there. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is what Shot at Love is here for to help you find love. Keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Remember to stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes and if you like this show, please write a five-star review. I'm Keri Brett and we'll see you next time. Thank you.
