Shot At Love
Shot At Love is the first motivational dating show of its kind. It teaches you how to be successful in online dating while inspiring the listeners to go for it. You can find love, and are worthy of it. Shot At Love with Kerry Brett - Me, Exposed- Introduction to Shot At Love Podcast with celebrity photographer Kerry Brett.
Shot At Love
New Book Shot At Love! Kerry Brett on Turning Dating Missteps into a Movement
Tune into the first interview Kerry Brett gives on Cosmic Scene with Jill Jardine to discuss the launch of her new book Shot At Love, A Celebrity Photographer's Lens on Dating and Finding Love. The latest best-selling release is a raw, hilarious, and deeply insightful story of the host of Shot At Love; Kerry Brett's journey from heartbreak to happiness will have you laughing, nodding in recognition, and rethinking your approach to finding love.
When Kerry Brett found herself at what she calls "the basement of rock bottom" after a painful breakup, she turned to an unexpected source of hope: Tinder. But unlike many who approach dating apps with dread, this award-winning Boston photographer embraced the platform as a creative opportunity. With the same keen eye she used to capture celebrities like David Ortiz and Amy Poehler, Kerry developed a method for identifying potential matches, creating authentic connections, and ultimately finding love.
Kerry's story is compelling because of her unique blend of self-deprecating humor, spirituality, and practical wisdom. Each chapter of her newly released book "Shot At Love" begins with a Sanskrit mantra, connecting ancient wisdom to modern dating challenges. From the "German Leo" to the "Irish Leprechaun" and finally to her successful Tinder match, Kerry's dating adventures read like a Boston version of Sex and the City – minus the sex, as she quips, because "she's Irish Catholic, 51, and her parents listen to her show."
The most powerful takeaway from our conversation is Kerry's insight that the stories we tell ourselves often become our biggest obstacles. Whether it's believing you're "damaged goods" because of past relationships or thinking no one wants to date a single parent, these internal narratives limit possibilities. As Kerry emphasizes, "Beauty is an inside job" – how you feel about yourself ultimately determines how others perceive and treat you.
Kerry's journey offers hope and a roadmap for anyone navigating the complex world of modern dating. Her transformation from celebrated photographer to award-winning podcast host and author demonstrates how following your authentic path can lead to unexpected opportunities and, yes, even love.
Take your best shot at love by checking out Kerry's new book "Shot At Love" on Amazon or at shotatloveook.com, and tune into her podcast for daily doses of dating wisdom and inspiration. Or join the single movement at www.shotatlovebook.com
Welcome to Cosmic Scene with Jill Jardine. I'm your host, jill Jardine, in today's episode. I can't wait to introduce you to Carrie Brett, boston celebrity photographer, podcaster, dating expert, tinder success story and author. You may know her as the host of Shot at Love. I've been a guest on it several times but we're going to talk about Carrie's book, shot at Love, today. You're going to want to stay tuned to find out more. Hey, listeners, I want to remind you to support Cosmic Scene with Jill Jardine podcast. You can do that by going on to wwwbuzzsproutcom. Slash 958-528. Slash support. This will be in the show notes. Welcome to the fifth anniversary episode of Cosmic Scene with Jill Jardine. I'm your host, jill Jardine, longtime astrologer, psychic healer and yogi. In today's episode, my guest is the person who got me into podcasting Carrie Brett, host of Shot at Love. Carrie Brett is a Boston-based celebrity photographer and the host of Shot at Love, the first motivational podcast dedicated to helping others find love. A nine-time award-winning show, shot at Love ranks in the top 1% of podcasts globally and broadcasts five days a week on iHeartRadio Live, power Me Up, talk Radio 24-7, and all major platforms. Keri's Shot at Love podcast blends her experiences with laughter-filled life lessons, uplifting listeners and offering practical advice. In February 2025, carrie released Shot at Love a memoir A celebrity photographer's lens on finding love, a heartfelt and hilarious exploration of her journey through the dating world, offering lessons and insights for those seeking love. Carrie's journey into the world of dating expertise stems from her profound empathy for singles navigating online dating. Understanding that your profile is your personal brand. She launched the Swiping Soiree in 2019, a seminar empowering women to transform their lives through dating. Her podcast features an impressive guest lineup, including Oscar-winning actor Chris Cooper, kayak Company founder Paul English, relationship expert John Gray, men are from Mars, women from Venus, best-selling author Elin Heldebrand, podcaster Jordan Harbinger and yours truly, jill Jardine. I've been a guest on her podcast several times as the featured astrologer. Shot at Love has earned numerous accolades, including multiple communication awards for best hosts and outstanding episodes and nominations for the People Choice Podcast Awards from 2021 to 2023. It has consistently ranked number eight on Feedspot's Top 25 Dating Podcasts for four consecutive years.
Speaker 1:Carrie Brett is also a professional photographer of America Master Photographers, with 28 years of experience running her successful studio in Hingham, massachusetts. Her distinctive, award-winning portraits have graced the covers of the Boston Globe Magazine, boston Common Magazine, n Magazine and the Improper Bostonian, where she served as staff photographer for 28 years. Carriey captured iconic portraits of renowned personalities such as David Ortiz, amy Poehler, rashida Jones and Steve Carell. Her viral cover series of Bill Belichick and Linda Holiday for N Magazine garnered millions of viewers online. In addition to her photography, carey co-authored Boston Inspirational Women with her father, bill Brett, celebrating remarkable women with ties to Boston. She is also a certified professional photographer and nationally affiliated judge. She has lectured for Professional Photographers of America and taught at the Hallmark School of Photography photography.
Speaker 1:Carrie's lifelong passion for storytelling and art has made her a trusted voice and visual creator, seamlessly blending her skills behind the lens with her mission to inspire through Shot at Love.
Speaker 1:Carrie is also the author of the recently published book Shot at Love, a celebrity photographer's unfiltered lens on dating and finding love, and we're going to talk about her book Shot at Love Lens on Love from dating rock bottom to a Tinder success story. Carrie's journey in the book is from what she calls the basement of rock bottom to becoming a source of inspiration, and it's filled with laugh out loud moments of self-discovery. Think Bridget Jones swipes right on Tinder and meets a Boston version of Sex and the City, minus the sex, because she's Irish Catholic. 51 and her parents listen to her show. Carrie takes on the unpredictability of life with a smile. She's always camera ready and knows that you miss all the shots you don't take. It's my honor and pleasure to welcome my guest today. Author of Shot at Love, book recently released, host of podcast Shot at Love. My guest, my friend, my cohort and colleague, keri Brett, welcome.
Speaker 2:Keri Hi Jill, Thanks so much for having me on the show today.
Speaker 1:I'm so psyched to have you on the show this is actually the fifth year anniversary special of Cosmic Scene and how perfect to have you as the guest, as you're the one who got me into podcasting, that's right, and in the depth of COVID, you and I and our engineer, tom, were in our podcasting pod at your photography studio, newly Christian podcast studio, recording Shot at Love and launching Cosmic Scene, so it's so great to have you here to talk about your new book and your podcast and whatever else you want to talk about. Okay.
Speaker 2:You know, I really owe so much to you. You gave me my power back when I was getting divorced and you gave me my very first reading, which I talk about actually in the book. Woo-hoo, my first, my very first reading, which I talk about actually in the book, Chapter one. I talk about how you spoke into a tape recorder. That's how long ago this was yeah.
Speaker 2:Predicting that I would find love again. You also predicted that I would write a book. And I remember when you said that to me, I was just trying to fix my life and find a guy. To date, that's why I was paying for a reading. We didn't even know each other. That's right. The first time you came and I I had plans to do, I figured at some point in my life I would do a photography book. Yes, because my dad had was on that path and never in my life did I think I would become a writer. And when, when you said to me you're going to publish a book, and I said sure, be a coffee table photography book, that made sense to me and you said no, it's going to be something else. You're going to write it.
Speaker 1:I think I told you it was going to be a self-help book and at that point you were firmly ensconced in your photography career as the celebrity photographer of Boston and let people know who your dad is and why. This is like a lineage thing for you with the photography.
Speaker 2:It certainly is so. My dad is Bill Brett. He's a award-winning, longtime photojournalist for the Boston Globe. He worked there for 55 years and I grew up really in a dark room alongside of him and was a photographer as a child, started getting published when I was 17 and started shooting covers at 20. And I never imagined finding something that I loved as much as photography. I figured I would do all sorts of photography throughout my life, which I have done but my path and my purpose changed when I found myself heartbroken and really in the depths of despair.
Speaker 1:The dark night of the soul and I actually met you before that because, flashback to however many years ago you showed up at my office and you had me run charts of two potential dates. One was bachelor number one and this second one was bachelor number two. This is pre Tinder, this is pre online dating. So I remember running the charts of these two men and the first one, I was like, oh, this one is famous, he's going to be, you know, really good to be with. You won't have to worry about money, there'll be security. Have to worry about money, there'll be security. But, boy, this second one, he's a charmer, he's a lover, he's going to sweep you off your feet, right. And what happened?
Speaker 2:Well, we had this. We were both the 11th.
Speaker 1:And so you went for the second one, right.
Speaker 2:I went for there was two choices One that was good on paper and the other one was just really good looking, and that's how I usually get myself into trouble by looking at the exterior. So that journey was supposed to happen, because I learned an awful lot and I pushed my creativity as well as his, and I pushed my creativity as well as his, and I also learned that I don't really think I need to be with another creative, that I needed to be with someone who was the opposite of me.
Speaker 1:So this is the male in your book, Giovanni the musician. Yes, that's who that character is based on.
Speaker 2:Yes, right. So the names have been changed and the identities and everything has been changed about the people that needed to be for the purpose of protecting their lives. And the other characters in the book are friends of mine or guides who showed me the way and helped me get my power back and put me on the path forward, and all of those people have agreed to use their real names, which makes it really exciting and special. It also happens with the backdrop of the Improper Bostonian magazine, where I photographed covers for 28 years and my publisher, wendy Simonian, is in it.
Speaker 2:My gay work husband, jonathan Soroff, celebrity writer, is in it. Famous writer John D Spooner is in it as well. My long-serving art director served as an editor and did the layout and design and was just really helpful. So it was a way that we all got to work together again at the magazine, and all these incredible writers were so supportive of me trying a new form of storytelling, which is what podcasting is, and writing and shooting. So once I could figure out that oh, I just have to swap my camera out for a microphone or a microphone out for words it came to me pretty easily.
Speaker 1:Yes, and I've been with you through this journey that you've been on, and I remember when you started to write it, I'm like this is going to be a Netflix series. It is hysterical and you know my predictions have kind of played out for you, haven't they? But I just want to read something about your book because this is kind of to give people an idea of how entertaining it actually is. I mean, it's getting to a deep issue of finding love amidst the phoenix rising from the ashes of disappointment and love. Here's something about the book for the listeners. I love this.
Speaker 1:Carrie shares her journey of rebuilding her life through dating, delivering a story that's equal parts modern day Daisy Jones in the Six Bridget Jones's diary and a Boston sex in the city, without the sex, because, well, she's Irish Catholic, growing up in a working class family on the South Shore, just outside of Boston. Carrie found solace and hope in pop culture, sitcoms, artists like Adele and Amy Winehouse. When Heartbreak hit. With her flair for humor and a knack for seeing the absurdity in life's toughest moments, she recalls channeling her inner Marsha Brady, only to end up ghosted by a fictional George Glass and wondering if Sam the Butcher was still single, in a truly meta moment, she even used a picture of herself alongside the real Peter Brady, christopher Knight on her Tinder profile, a move that's as bold, as hilarious. Flash forward you actually met him right.
Speaker 2:I met him in 2009. And now they're my friends. His wife, kara Knight, is my friend and Chris is always asking are you texting Carrie right now? So it's funny, chris Knight is Peter Brady the real Peter Brady and I used my imagination. I didn't have much. I grew up in a cape just outside of Boston and there were four of us so we didn't Four kids and my first guru was Mr Rogers, and even as a child I felt that he was my friend and when I was in the hospital getting my tonsils out, I demanded that Rogers come to my parents, like right before they knocked me out. I'm like call Rogers, he'll be on his way and I was so little.
Speaker 2:But to me I'm not surprised that I'm friends with a Brady like a real life Brady Right, because I was that connected. And I'm not surprised that the different movies. So Chris Cooper is a friend of mine and his wife. I met Chris Cooper because I was obsessed with the movie American Beauty and I went to the premiere and I said I have to photograph you.
Speaker 2:I didn't even have permission and he's in chapter five and he gave me my power back when I was in a very bad place and I just had such a big imagination that I pulled these real-time actors and musicians, artists, creatives into my world because I was connected through the television or through the movies and that was the early part of manifestation.
Speaker 2:Was that visualization that I had so clearly? And it's really interesting to look back because I didn't know what was in store for my future. But I remember when I was reading and I told my friend Maureen Hancock, who's a famous median who's in the book as well, median who's in the book as well I speak about Tina Turner quite a bit throughout the book and during chapter 11, she died, she left this world and I was reading the audible for my audio component and I broke down crying and I said to my friend Maureen and I broke down crying and I said to my friend Maureen this is ridiculous that I'm crying in this passage, because to me that's how much Tina Turner meant to me, that I never met her, but she was a single mom like me, and her words were a pain that she lived through.
Speaker 1:Right and, like you, she found chanting with the Buddhist chant Nam-myoho-ren-gi-ko, and Sanskrit mantras have helped you, which we'll talk about shortly. But it's amazing how everything that you experienced led you to the podcast when you thought you were going to be a lifelong celebrity photographer, and then from the you to the podcast, when you thought you were going to be a lifelong celebrity photographer, and then from the podcast to the book. So life is a journey and as a creative, I know you well and I've seen how, when you are in alignment, you bring in synchronicity, you bring in the helpful people, you bring in the famous people, you bring in the spiritual people and life becomes a journey. And I think that's also an underlying message of this book. I mean, this book is multifaceted how to Find Love but also, when you tap in and you have your goal, you can achieve it. And I think it's kind of cool too that along the journey, who becomes a good friend of yours?
Speaker 1:But Michael Lozier, the author of the Law of Attraction. He even wrote one of the accolades on the back cover of the book. So you want to say a little bit about your experience with the Law of Attraction and Michael Lozier?
Speaker 2:Sure. So I was a self-help guru junkie. Early high school days I bought my first Tony Robbins tape cassette off of an infomercial and I would drive around my parents' shaggy wagon with listening to it in the car and my friends producer Tom Corey is one of them would be laughing at me because they get in the car and then it would be, you know, tony Robbins working his magic and I would be saying the words that he would be saying and then the next day I'd end up on the front page of the Globe or whatever and I'd be like how do you like me now? So I was doing this stuff as a teenager and I always wanted to be a motivational speaker. I didn't know how that would happen, and so I was definitely one of the first people to purchase Law of Attraction and he denied being on the Secret. He said no to Rhonda Byrne, he did not want to be a part of the Secret. But they said the Law of Attraction so much throughout the Secret, the secret. But they said the law of attraction so much throughout the secret, the movie.
Speaker 2:He was there that he beat JK Rowling to number one on the New York Times bestseller list and he didn't have a business card. He sold four million books. He had the belief that he doesn't even read. I'm like, michael, can I send you a book? He's like you know I don't read. He's like don't save your money with the postage.
Speaker 2:So I was fascinated with him. He willed himself on Oprah I think it was four times in the end because every day he repeated Oprah's going to love me. Well, lady O did love him. She gave him a radio show on Oprah and Friends so he had the visualization piece and he could connect with that source energy. And when I found him on the social audio app Clubhouse and I decided to send him a DM on Instagram, and before I started writing I said I'm going to use the law of attraction to have him say yes. Sure enough, two seconds later Michael responds to vibration and our vibration are aligned so much so we became friends on the audio app and I moderate his rooms and one of his moderators. So it's been crazy that this mad manifestation guru also became one of my friends. But the alignment matched. The vibration was the same.
Speaker 1:Isn't that amazing? There is something to that. Like throughout my life there's been like three spiritual teachers that I wanted to meet since the eighties, and one of them was Barbara Han Clow, who's a famous author and she's just really released the alchemy of nine dimensions. But I met her in the late eighties. I had only been reading her books for a few years and then I was able to be at her workshops and being a healer in the back room. The second was Dick Sutphin, who was a big hypnosis guy in the 1980s. Met him in Sedona back in early 2000. And then somebody you know and I know, Namadeva Acharya, who was Thomas Ashley Ferran, the Sanskrit mantra Western guru. I read his first book and I was like I'm going to meet him, and then he became my teacher. So it's interesting when you put your energy and your vibe together, you bring these people into your life, no matter how famous they may be in whatever they were, all in the, obviously in the esoteric movement, but you've worked this energy forever in all kinds of celebrity arenas.
Speaker 2:Right. I think Namadeva used mantras to pull in and manifest what he needed and he knew how powerful they were and he also knew that I was brought into his field for a reason at that time and he zoned in on me pretty quickly as one of his students star students. I mean, you were the power Shakti and I was just someone trying to find my way, but very quickly he inducted me into the Gayatri and he told me and I just told you the story that he told me back in 2008 or 2009,. He passed away in 2010, that I needed to master the Gayatri because the Gayatri was the source of creativity for me, and then I had the power to bring mantras Sanskrit mantras to Hollywood, and someday I would and.
Speaker 1:I think I will. Well, for readers you know, for soon-to-be readers A Shot at Love. Each chapter begins with a Sanskrit mantra, right? You explain the meaning and then somehow the chapter begins with a Sanskrit mantra, right? You explain the meaning and then the somehow the chapter is connected to the mantra.
Speaker 2:and you did use Tina Turner and you have used the guy tree and Eric Clapton yes, which Om Namo Shivaya, was Eric Clapton's favorite chant and it it weaves perfectly into the story because the opening music for the movie that I'm photographing Chris Cooper for August Osage County the opening song is Lay Down Sally, with Eric Clapton, and it's just amazing how Shiva never disappoints and why he had a lot of pain and suffering in his life and the mantras were a way for him to hold on Right. And so I speak about Courtney Love, the Beatles.
Speaker 1:There's lots of people who do mantras, yeah there's that famous story about George Harrison being on a plane. The plane's going to do like a La Bamba, you know, ricky Valens crash into the, into the mountain, and he starts chanting Hare Krishna, hare Krishna, krishna Krishna, hare Hare, hare Ram, hare Ram Ram Ram, hare Hare called the you know the Moola mantra. And he starts doing that and all of a sudden the plane just miraculously starts finally going higher and higher and they got out of danger. And that's like a famous story of him chanting the Hare Krishna mantra Right. So there's a lot of stories like that.
Speaker 2:Totally so. There's a Kubera chant that I found from Namadeva that I wrote on the back of a checkbook and I started doing it because I found the checkbook while I was cleaning my car, I doubled down on the Kibera chant and I get a call from a Hollywood producer out of the blue who says to me let's get together. We haven't seen each other in a while. And I said I think I've really got something with this love and this online dating and I want you to take me to Netflix. And he said you're not ready yet. You'll have one chance and I think you should start a podcast and I'll help you. So he helped me five plus years ago. Five plus years ago, and after he was so kind to help me, I said Jill, I'm taking you with. That's right. And here we are, five years later Still talking about Chance.
Speaker 1:And still live on Cosmic Scene.
Speaker 2:Right and look what we've done in the past five years and we've brought our trusted.
Speaker 1:Well, I've brought Tom on the journey, your high school buddy Right as our producer.
Speaker 2:He's been my producer for many years as well and produced my masterclass, and we've done a lot of creative things together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so before we go on break, carrie, maybe you can let our listeners know how they can get the book.
Speaker 2:Great, you can go to shot at lovebookcom. I am selling the book right now through my studio and different singles events and book signings coming up. You can get it on Amazon. You can get it the next day on Amazon. I will soon be releasing the Audible piece and then I'll be heading into Barnes, noble's bookstores and libraries very soon after the audible comes out thank you, carrie brett.
Speaker 1:Author shot at love. Host of shot at love podcast. When we come back we'll take a deep dive into the book, maybe read some of the content and hear some of your wild stories great looking for love, but tired of the games, shot at Love is your ultimate playbook for finding the real thing.
Speaker 2:Written by me, carrie Brett, celebrity photographer turned dating expert, this book reveals insider secrets, proven strategies and inspiring stories to help you create your own love story. Whether you're starting over or leveling up, shot at Love gives you the confidence to take your best shot Available now, because love is worth the risk.
Speaker 1:Welcome back. My guest is Keri Brett, author of Shot at Love. We're looking at this newly released book, talking about some of the backstory, about some of these chapters, and we were talking about our mantra guru, thomas Ashley Ferrand, and you wrote a chapter about when you went to one of his spiritual ceremonies that we call pujas and you had some interesting things happen to you. Do you want to read a little excerpt? And this is where you learned mantras and every chapter starts with a mantra, so that feels like an appropriate place to start.
Speaker 2:Okay, that sounds good. The Nomad Meets Namadeva. On my way to this Cant-Brijian chant circle, I walk down a crowded hallway where everyone is in white, I hold tight to my mala beads and I'm dressed head to toe in black. I'm shocked when I see this man in a robe appear. Upon seeing me, he stops, claps his prayer hands together and, with a big smile, looks down and bows. The first words he said to me were oh, a power Shakti. Dumbfounded, I laughed and said I'm not a power Shakti. Whatever that was thinking to myself. He said indeed, you are. I smiled, trying not to laugh, then answered no, I'm not, you are, because I can tell. How can you tell?
Speaker 2:I ask Because you have a Vishnava line on your forehead. If a person has a Vishnava line, it means you're a spiritual teacher and a healer. This was already too much, wondering just how I would Botox away this straight line in the middle of my forehead and why I hadn't realized it was so prominent. I really had no clue what was in store for me at that puja in Cambridge, nor did I understand how notable Nama Deva's teachings would be in my life. I knew one thing for sure that I had fallen in love with this guru and that I needed to see him.
Speaker 2:Whenever he came back in town, namadeva took a liking to me. I became one of his star students, like I did with my mentor, jeff Lubin. Namadeva even inducted me into the Gayatri, which was an insane honor. I sat nervously when he bestowed upon me this blessing, sane honor. I sat nervously when he bestowed upon me this blessing. He told me Carrie, use the Gayatri around your creative gifts, because the Gayatri enhances creativity. I was inducted with the long form version of the Gayatri, which takes me around 15 minutes to chant 108 times Faithfully. Before every podcast episode I record for Shot at Love, I do the Gayatri right before I go live on the airwaves. Namadeva gave me lots of special mantras that changed my life. One of his favorite mantras was you could say this one better than I could Jill Om Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya.
Speaker 1:He used to actually sing that one.
Speaker 2:Yep. Every time he chanted it, he broke out in song and rose to his feet, dancing, while the whole group of chanters would rise to dance around him too. He was the total embodiment of love. Years back, I was struggling with having Giovanni at the time move in. Now Medeva dug deep into his magic bag of mantras and said I haven't given this mantra out in 30 years. That day I started this special Sanskrit mantra and nine days later my ex moved. Nama David died a few years later after we met at my first puja.
Speaker 2:I credit my friend, astrologer Jill Jardine, who is also a reverend in Sanskrit mantra and the keeper of his teachings and lineage. Jill had doubled down on mantras to help her dear friend cross over to the spiritual realm when he died on October 1, 2010. Died on October 1st 2010. Like most wise, sage gurus, they know when their work is done on the physical plane and know when they can be more effective on the other side. So, anyways, I think I needed a healer and a guru like Namadeva, like yourself, jill, because when you come to rock bottom, you either become religious, spiritual, all the above.
Speaker 1:Right Dark night of the soul, finding the way out.
Speaker 2:How did you find the way out? And to me it seemed pretty reasonable to chant something 108 times to change my life.
Speaker 1:Yes, and you did, and you were very committed to the mantras, and so what I love about this book is that you have these spiritual stories, but then they're mixed in with really funny dating experiences and some of these characters in the men that you met along the way.
Speaker 2:Right. So some of the men are the German Leo Franz Friedrich, the Irish leprechaun that I went out with on the eve of St Patrick's Day. Liam Lehane, the nice-looking Navajo Coyote. Cameron, the Tinder Bob. The Builder, rory Remington let's see. Oh, the computer. The software consultant who was the unintentional dater named Denovan Davis.
Speaker 1:All the names have been altered to change.
Speaker 2:All the names are the first initial is the same as the initial and the last name is the initial and the last name leading up to me finding my boyfriend who has two, the double s's, scott's and zenith's. So I find love with my realtor on tinder and become a tinder success story. So these stories are true but I changed the identity and the jobs and where they live and all those things. But you can't make this stuff up.
Speaker 1:You get the essence of who these people were, though I'd love you to share one of the more entertaining ones about one of these men. Okay, it's okay, okay, so this is chapter six.
Speaker 2:Boys shack up men build homes. Om Radha, Krishna and Namaha is a devotional mantra dedicated to the divine couple of Radha and Krishna, who are considered to embody divine love and Hinduism. The mantra to find your husband Studs, Meet Tinder's Bob the Builder, Rory Remington. Rory, age 47, Northeastern University, self-employed, six foot, one inch, die-hard Pats fan weekend golfer 10 miles away. Rory is an upstanding townie, is a professional contractor who owns Remington Construction in Scituate, Massachusetts, Situated precisely halfway between Boston and Plymouth. It has the best natural harbor between the two, a town rich with over 500 years of history. So, anyways, that's how most of these chapters start. They start with this colorful character that comes in in my feed on Tinder and I date them for around three months until something else crazy happens, and the majority of the book is I can't get off. I can't get off the merry-go-round of going back to the ex, and that's very common.
Speaker 1:They say it takes around seven times to go back break up seven times, and so your journey was using Tinder when it was sort of in its infancy. I mean, the time period that you were doing this was in the what like 2010s. It was really 2014.
Speaker 2:So I think Tinder came out in 2012. Yeah, so it was still new. I was an early evolution dating app adopter really, and being 43 as a single mom with a 13-year-old, I can tell you I didn't really have much competition, so I did really well because people were afraid to go on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was the earlier days. You actually cracked the code too. You went on to teach a lot of other women how to work with Tinder as a dating tool and app, and that's how you developed the swiping soiree.
Speaker 2:Right, I wasn't afraid of Tinder. Tinder was my friend. Tinder gave me a hope for a new future. It gave me opportunity and I used my personality photographs and my perseverance to rebuild my life. And when you look at it, young people ask me all the time oh, you're just swiping and this. And I can't stand it. And I always say, well, I guess you never dated pre-cell phones with a baby on your hip. Now that's really hard, right? So it's all how you frame the experience and I am all about bringing new opportunities into my life.
Speaker 2:And this was a cutting-edge tool that I mastered because I realized that dating online dating, I should say was marketing at its finest, marketing and branding at its finest Of individuals. Marketing at its finest, marketing and branding at its finest Of individuals. If you could understand that, it was how you showed up and how your personal brand was positioned. Really, that's what you're doing with these photographs and the words that you use to describe yourself. The words that you use to describe yourself. And one of my tools in my arsenal is my humor, and I say funny things to protect myself, but to survive, and I used humor an awful lot, and I was very authentic and very genuine, because I didn't know any other way to be.
Speaker 1:Right, and I think it's all coming back to that. I mean, you're talking as a professional, you had a really nice glam shot and then you're really funny and entertaining, but and these guys, I mean they don't present themselves or trot themselves out in the way that you did. Do you think it's harder for women on some of these dating apps where the men can just, you know, slap up a picture of them playing basketball or something and still get?
Speaker 2:I think online dating apps are set up for men, especially Bumble.
Speaker 1:Right, which is the one where the girls have to make the first move. How much easier can it be? Right For them, for the men? Yeah, they have they.
Speaker 2:They don't get attached like women do. In a sense, Right.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think they they feel insecure and they're afraid to get hurt. But it's a different game. And if you look at, if you go into a steakhouse in Boston, there's going to be all these guys sitting at the bar and hardly any women, because women are afraid to show up by themselves, travel by themselves, do all these things by themselves. We have to be more careful. Right, I just decided to do the exact opposite and run it like a baller and a gamer and a girl boss. And I didn't do it purposely. I did it because I was a single mom who didn't have a lot of time, who had to run a studio, and I meant business, and I meant business. And even though I didn't have a lot of confidence.
Speaker 1:it didn't mean I couldn't fake it till you make it Right and that actually worked for you. Because here this book is telling all the adventures as you meet all these different men, the heartbreak of Giovanni, and then what happened after that, as you found Tinder and you dated. But then the ending of the story is that you did find love and you did find it through Tinder. So tell us a little bit about that and maybe share the wisdom that you accrued. It is in the book, but like some little soundbites of what for people, male or female, who are out there. Maybe they were married and single and they have little kids. I mean, I think at any stages of life, whether they're in their twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, you have gems that you can share about this, this process of finding love Right.
Speaker 2:Well, when you mentioned all those different scenarios of different age groups, children, not children, or otherwise, everyone has something in their life that's happened to them or is still happening.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And that is a block and a storyline that you create in your brain to keep you safe and to keep you from taking action. And it's problematic. And when people ask me the script that I flipped, I had many scripts. I had the script of being a single mom with a baby. No one would want a single mom with a baby. Then, years later, I'm on Tinder with a 13-year-old. Well, maybe no one wants it and that was not true. It wasn't true 10 years prior and it wasn't true when my daughter was 13.
Speaker 2:Was I damaged goods because I had some failed relationships? No, but I had to stop internalizing. When things did not work out, I had to say they did not work out, because rejection is protection and that person wasn't supposed to be a long-termer in your life. And I had to go through this hero's journey really to become the person that I am today, to appreciate the love that I do have, to appreciate the love that I do have and realize that people are creating scenarios and ideals that don't exist Right. So there is no perfect person.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And you can't become perfect, and you don't need to become perfect to find love that you're just okay the way you are.
Speaker 1:Like Mark Darcy said to Bridget Jones, I love you just the way you are, Bridget.
Speaker 2:Bridget's a perfect example. Her flawedness is why she's so lovable, because people can see themselves in her and she leads with her heart.
Speaker 1:your heart is your number one weapon really like, and it's not like war, but it's your strength.
Speaker 2:So if you lead by your heart, if you really like something, you don't have to be exactly the same as everyone else. In fact, it's better if you have a lot of differences, because it makes it really interesting.
Speaker 1:Right. And people want authenticity, and if they don't, then screw them. You don't want to be with them, that's right. So I think, before we close out this episode, which you've been an amazing guest maybe leave our listeners with about three gems from your experiences finding love, the book, the podcast, the motivational carry. What does she have to say?
Speaker 2:to our listeners. Well, beauty is an inside job and I've interviewed enough models. I have enough pretty friends to know that how you feel about yourself. Really, you can do all the things I talked about Botox. You can do lots of things to make yourself feel better and I encourage that. But do yourself a favor, Invest in yourself, Get a good headshot, Put yourself out there in the best light that you can and, if you want, you can grab a new outfit. You can do all those things you can get. I did it all A spray tan, a blowout, all the things.
Speaker 2:But guess what? That isn't going to make you feel better if you don't feel good about yourself. So you've got to find a way to like yourself, because how you perceive yourself is how you'll be portrayed and how you'll be treated. Because you teach men or whoever you'd like to pull in if you'd like to date a woman same sex, whoever you're looking for, it starts. It's an inside job. Amen, it really is. Thank you, Carrie Brett. And the other thing you've got to believe, Ted Lasso style. You've got to believe and find a way to believe. If you can believe, you'll achieve and you will find love.
Speaker 1:Hallelujah.
Speaker 2:But, Jill, you gave me that. I didn't believe. And you said, Carrie, karmically, you're due for a break. And you told me through the stars that I would find love. And once I rebuilt my life which I did, do one step at a time. Sometimes I had to come once a week to see you to hold on to your belief or borrow your belief to believe in myself. But you were right. But it did come down to belief, I will say that. And action and consistency follow through.
Speaker 2:You can't just you know, Amazon's not dropping a guy off at your doorstep wrapped in a bow. We'd like that, but it doesn't happen that way.
Speaker 1:Thank you, carrie, your humor, your wit, your intellect and entertaining words have made this a really fun podcast For the fifth anniversary episode of Cosmic Scene. Thank you, keri. Thank you so much. It's a great time to book a reading. It's a great time to book a reading, so check out my website, jilljardineastrologycom slash shop and pick the kind of reading or service you would like. I hope you enjoyed this episode featuring my guest, carrie Brett, talking about her book Shot at Love. Remember to subscribe, download, share and give us a five star review. This is Cosmic Scene, with Jill Jardine sending beautiful pictures of love and healing into the quantum field. Thank you.
