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Shot At Love
Shot At Love is the first motivational dating show of its kind. It teaches you how to be successful in online dating while inspiring the listeners to go for it. You can find love, and are worthy of it. Shot At Love with Kerry Brett - Me, Exposed- Introduction to Shot At Love Podcast with celebrity photographer Kerry Brett.
Shot At Love
Love on the Spectrum: All Aboard the Love Train!
When Tina Zhu Xi Caruso and Pari Kim met on Love on the Spectrum Season 3, viewers worldwide fell in love with their authentic connection. Their story isn't just about finding romance on reality TV—it's about embracing who you truly are, regardless of what others might think.
The magic of Tina and Pari's relationship stems from their fearless self-expression. As Pari puts it, "I literally go on the train in a ball gown. I don't care. People could stare and say whatever they want, but it makes me happy." This unapologetic authenticity—Pari with her passion for trains and Tina with her photography and disability advocacy—creates a foundation for genuine connection that many neurotypical daters struggle to achieve.
What makes their bond particularly special is their shared understanding of profound loss. Both having experienced the death of a parent, they connect through empathy that might not have existed with other cast members. This shared grief, combined with their neurodivergent perspectives, allows them to relate on a deeper level. As Tina explains, "I feel like, for me at least, and Pari were a perfect match because we understood parent loss."
Their remarkable optimism stands out as a defining characteristic. Rather than letting disabilities or challenges define them, they embrace life with enthusiasm and determination. "If we are constantly negative, we'll never get anything done," Pari explains. "I gotta get out there and live my life and do what makes me happy." This resilience—whether it's Pari singing at Harvard Square or Tina advocating for the disability community—teaches us all about finding joy despite obstacles.
Want to find your shot at love? Take inspiration from Tina and Pari: be fearless about putting yourself out there, prioritize kindness in all interactions, and focus on the little, meaningful moments that build connection. As Pari wisely notes, "If you spend your whole life worrying about others, you're never going to be happy."
This episode was recorded at Kimpton Marlowe Hotel in Cambridge, MA. To find out more about Shot At Love or purchase Kerry Brett's new book Shot@Love, A Celebrity Photographer's Unfiltered Lens on Dating and Finding Love, go to www.shotatlovebook.com
I'm Carrie Brett and this is Shot at Love. Some people find love on a train, some on a dating app and some on a reality show like Love on the Spectrum. Today's guests are two unforgettable stars from Season 3, tina Jushi Caruso and Pari Kim. They're inspiring, magical and have taught me so much about overcoming challenges and why we should always remain hopeful and positive. Today, we'll hear their story about finding love on the rails. I'm Keri Brett, and Shot at Love starts now. Today, we have Perry and Tina from Love on the Spectrum with us, and they're going to share their tips for finding love, and I'm so excited to have you guys here. Thanks for being here. So, perry, you're the purple tea princess of the MBTA, and Tina, you're a disability advocate for autism and CVI, and also a recent mass art graduate as I went to school there as well and a talented photographer, and I want to hear all about your lives. Everyone is obsessed with you guys. It's amazing, the show's amazing. You guys are so great. How did you both end up on the show?
Speaker 2:For me, it was after watching season two of the Australian one that it said on the screen at the end now filming in the US. So go to this site and apply to be a cast member on the US show. I, literally after the show, I was up in my parents' house or the flat, I don't know exactly how to describe it so I ran downstairs.
Speaker 2:after it, I yelled before going downstairs I'm going to be on this thing and then I ran downstairs, found where I needed to apply, applied and then I guess I thought it was a scam. At first I did not realize. They did not contact me for season one nor season two, so I was like is this a scam?
Speaker 2:did was like is this a scam? Did they ghost me? Is this a real thing? What is going on? So then I realized but then one day in 2023, it started in May of 2023, they had me go through the interview process. I first did an interview two years after that and then three years after. I don't remember the process, but I remember last May getting a call from one of the directors, sean, and he called me and said do you want to be on the show? I was like, yes, I thought this was. I did not know what this thing was. I thought it was a scam, but I'm glad that you guys finally called me back. That's awesome. And now I'm on this wild ride with Perry. That's amazing.
Speaker 1:So, perry, how did you get on the show?
Speaker 4:So for me, basically, what happened was well, I've seen it before and I know my cousins and aunt introduced it to me and I was always thinking I wish I could be on, and people have told me you'd be so good on Love on the Spectrum, but I didn't know when I could actually get on, but I think it was last year. Early last year a friend of mine who's in the T musical, megan Paluzzi, on Instagram she sent me a link to the casting call and there was an email where you can email the producers and set up an interview to apply. So I did just that and the interview went very well. They seemed to really like my energy and then a minute after we were done, they literally called back the next minute and said we like what we see and we want to continue to the next step, and the rest is history. That's right.
Speaker 1:Well, I think it's amazing. I think you guys are really brave. I think a lot of people would be very afraid to go on a reality show. Were you guys nervous at all?
Speaker 2:Not really, because my reaction of screaming down to my parents before I exited the door to go downstairs to my apartment was I'm going to be on this thing Right. So I was kind of nervous. I'm not really nervous because I actually went to two autism camps. It's no longer exists, sadly, or it was autism as well as different disabilities. They had social issues around having conversations. So it was a specific camp called drama play that was specifically for filming and learning to be on set right so they would basically give us a script and it was basically an acting camp.
Speaker 2:It was amazing. We're basically on set all the time or waiting behind set to go on to set during camp, and it just really when I was ready, when I learned about love on the spectrum, I I knew I could be in front of the cameras at this camp.
Speaker 1:Right, you knew it. I think this is the interesting thing to me. So when people are trying to find love and date, they can't put themselves out there. Harry, you say that you live your life unapologetically.
Speaker 4:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And I think there's a lot to be learned by that for sure. And then the good thing about one of the great things about Tina is that Tina just rolls with anything. She just goes with the flow, and I think people get in their heads and they can't just be themselves. And you guys can, and I think everybody on the show can. What do you think about that? Do you ever question the choices that you make? I saw you on Instagram and you were singing at Harvard Square. You just put yourself out there. How do you do that? It's amazing.
Speaker 4:Thank you, I'm just unapologetically myself and don't worry about it, I'll do what feel like excited to do and just whatever I'm feeling in that moment, like yesterday as we have some buskers and they had some friends taking turns singing and playing guitar and I was like, can I sing a song? They're like sure, he gave me the mic and they like looked up the music in the chords online and tried to follow along. So it just felt natural and it was a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:so well, I think the energy you mentioned the energy and I feel like you will that, tina, where you're like I'm ready, I've gone to this camp and I'm gonna put myself out there. I think you guys were born with this magical ability to shine so brightly and not be afraid, and I think fear is a big thing. You didn't have any fear not really that's amazing.
Speaker 4:I know sometimes I was like more anxious, like am I doing this right, but not like stage fright right?
Speaker 1:it's just really excited how was it with the cameras in front of you all the time?
Speaker 2:it was much different from camp because it was we had it where it was just basically a family video camera in our face all the time, because they not have the money like love on the spectrum and big productions of movies and stuff and tv shows, but I think it was a little different. But I also felt like it was okay because it just was for me at least. I just need to be looking at her, which they wanted me to do, so it was just very easy that I had a target and I just would get in conversation with her and forget about all about the fact that I was on the show. How about you, perry?
Speaker 4:about the fact that I was on the show. How about you, perry? Yeah, I kind of just like do the thing, though, and like try to act as natural as possible, as if the cameras aren't there, but sometimes, like, other people go and they'll like say what is this for? Are you on the news? And then it's like here they are, the camera crew with the huge boom mics I think that's what they're called All the equipment, and people are just staring wondering what's going on, but we can't tell. So it's like we have to make something up, right?
Speaker 1:Tina, you were quiet, you were really quiet. You weren't really yourself, I feel like, because you're not quiet.
Speaker 2:I know my first scene on Love of a Spectre. I was begging them to give me a visual description because I am blind, slash, visually impaired. I did not know if I was looking at the tablecloth or Perry, to be honest. So I was literally because I talked to some of my friends to also know more about cortical cerebral vision. They were like you are searching the room to find where you needed to go the first scene. So I was basically just lost looking for the thing and I realized the purple thing in the room was Perry. So it was just really funny because they made me go on a double blind date because they did not tell me first.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm saying. This is nerve wracking because of all the distractions around you.
Speaker 2:It's also because, cvi, we do not do well with clutter, so the room was already very cluttered, with tons of tables, tons of chairs. So I just did not know if where perry was in the room, because they didn't give me a description of her right and you really couldn't see her no so do you think love is blind?
Speaker 4:then why is it called like the name of a show? Wait, is that a show?
Speaker 1:yeah, this is where love is blind and love on the spectrum is a real one.
Speaker 4:Yeah, oh yeah, I knew it sounded familiar but maybe it's literally star, like blind people and people with vision impaired.
Speaker 1:No, no, they keep you in a separate room.
Speaker 4:Oh, that would be cool to actually do one for actual blind, vision impaired people. I think that would be cool.
Speaker 1:Well, everyone deserves love Exactly and this is the other piece about the two of you that I find really interesting is that you love trains and Tina loves photography, and you have differences, but you embrace each other's quirks or things that you can't live without. I mean, you can't live without trains. That's who you are, and everything is going to be terrific.
Speaker 1:And I know that you, tina won people's hearts because you avoided gluten, but that was so nice. So I feel like kindness. I feel like people don't look for kindness and, as someone who has been in the dating space for 10 years, I have really kind of looked for the themes or the things that bring people together and have them stay together. And what I see on the show if you end up being together all the cast members on the show in this is my opinion somehow overcome all the hard things, but you always are optimistic. Is that an autism thing?
Speaker 2:I think it's a disability thing. Okay, explain that. I think it's a disability thing because I have found so many friends online. I have friends that are blind in Melbourne, australia, adelaide. I have some other friends. I think I have a blind friend in Germany. I have a couple of different disabilities, including blindness. I have one in Vancouver. They all disabled.
Speaker 2:People come into this life where we have to work 10 times harder than able-bodied people and when we have to come over adversity we almost become sometimes which I hate become inspiration porn because it's like we're doing something that other people can do easily. Right, it makes me sad that people sometimes see us in this light, but sometimes it's beautiful. Some of us just have to figure it's always because we have to work 10 times harder than other people or they might not think. Some friends that I know are amputees or have mobility issues are adaptive athletes. I know a couple of friends who's hand-cycled the New York Marathon. I have a friend that has scoliosis, who had to get the whole surgery, his back and all and has done 40 marathons, as well as some amputees who just run marathons for fun, like my friend Cedric. It's all about mindset in the disability community, but also that we just want to also be looked at as humans sometimes. Perry, what do you think? Yeah, go ahead, perry.
Speaker 4:Yeah, well for me. I mean can't speak for everyone else, but for me I feel like it's just well. Part of it could have been the influences. Ever since I was young I always loved watching, like fairy tale and fantasy movies, like Barbie and Disney, princess films where they live happily ever after and all the dreams come true. And I think, if they can do it, why can't I? So I always want to believe there's a happy ending, even though life can be tough, and I've gone through a lot of hardships and struggles. But if we are constantly negative we'll never get anything done and we'll stay depressed. So it's like I gotta get out there and live my life and do what makes me happy, and I don't. I'm not a quitter. I don't give up, even though some people say are stubborn or just let it go for crazy things like if I want something then, I find a way to achieve it like I want to go for my dreams.
Speaker 4:I don't care what people say. I'm going to do it and achieve it somehow.
Speaker 1:That's amazing, but I think people, when they're dating, they hold themselves back and they hold on to limiting beliefs, which you just gave. A bunch of examples, tina, where your friends are not allowing their disability to hold them back at all.
Speaker 2:I wish dating was like that. I think some people that are able-bodied, that are not autistic, might not have disabilities, that they're more self-conscious about themselves and what society wants from them. But being disabled and learning from my disabled friends with other disabilities is that we just want to have a good time. We have already exposed ourselves in different ways. We do some conversations and we start talking and maybe disability comes up. We're already pretty out there. As a disabled person right now, living in the US especially, you just have to be very open, even with invisible disabilities. Like you have to scream on the train, like today hey, I'm disabled, can I have a seat Right? Like I have to scream that. I wish I did not have to scream that.
Speaker 1:But you have learned to put yourself out there and, like you, got your Charlie Pass. Yeah, is that what it's called? Charlie Card, charlie Card. See, I made you a joke. That is amazing, and I think people just hold themselves back by coming up with excuses of why they can't do it.
Speaker 2:So, perry, what do you think?
Speaker 4:Yeah, well, I know things can be tough and, of course, if you have, like disabilities, your life's going to be much different than if you don't.
Speaker 4:You have your own struggles and challenges, but it doesn't mean your life's ruined or lost, because, like, there's still hope and you can still find a way to achieve your dreams. There's a quote I like I forgot, who said but it's like something like find a way to reach onto the stars, or even, if you have to, like, latch onto them differently, there's a way somehow. Oh, I love that thank you.
Speaker 1:I think this show is so successful because you bear it all. You really show everything. Like you said, this is who I am. You have to take me or leave me because this is I can't change and I have these limitations or whatever. But that just pulls the audience in so close and we find ourselves just rooting for you.
Speaker 1:We're like oh, please, tina, make it over to Perry and I hope that they like each other and I hope that they kiss on the train over the Longfellow Bridge, and all that Because you're so endearing. It's phenomenal how the show is so viral. It's amazing to me, and I think when you are vulnerable and you aren't afraid to really put yourself out there, that's when you'll be successful in dating.
Speaker 2:I agree. I feel like some people need to. I hate to say it. Some people need to drink in order to get to the point where neurodiverse people can flourish in dating, where just letting go and doing themselves. You know, I'm saying being able to be themselves, like we already are out there but some non-neurodivergent people I know need to at least have one or two drinks. I know also some neurodivergent people who need drinks to do the same thing, but sometimes they just need to be drinking which is kind of sad in order to get to the place that some neurodivergent people can be at.
Speaker 1:I don't think you have to be neurodivergent to feel that way. I think a lot of people have to do that or they feel that.
Speaker 2:Or it's pressure from the society I forget what it's called pressure from social norms and stuff to drink in order to fit in, and it's really sad Right.
Speaker 1:So we talked about you being fearless and putting yourselves out there and having this confidence, whether you feel ready or not. Like you said, perry, you're going to do it. If you want to do some kind of performance art at the train, you're gonna do it yep, it's like I don't care.
Speaker 4:I literally go on the train in a ball gown like I don't care. People could stare and say whatever they want, but it makes me happy. I'm doing it. It's not illegal, it's not hurting anyone, so why not? And I've learned like, even though it's really hard, there's always gonna be some people criticize you or just hate for no reason. But you know what? You really just got to ignore them, block them out. That's what the block buttons are, because, at the end of the day, the way you live your life is up to you and what matters most is your own happiness. If you spend your whole life worrying about others, you're never going to be happy. So you can't worry about what they think. You gotta just live for you well.
Speaker 1:I think you guys, being so young, you have figured out what really matters and you're having so much fun, and I think that's the best part of this show is that we enjoy seeing you ride the trains together. These are very simple things that you guys are doing, but you make it exciting. I think people are missing the boat and they're looking for somebody who checks all these boxes, and it seems like you just find the simple things. What do you guys like to do for fun?
Speaker 4:Ice cream, ice cream Real fanning Right.
Speaker 2:Real fanning. At least I can still take photos, so definitely it's photography yeah, it's very photogenic and colorful.
Speaker 4:I think it might be the most colorful subway system, at least in the us, if not the world.
Speaker 2:It really is uh, what else do we like to do?
Speaker 4:get felipe's oh yeah, we say yeah, some union park pizza.
Speaker 2:Oh yes, the those two places have gluten-free and dairy-free options I love that, thank you now I wonder if you're able to talk about this or if you know.
Speaker 1:But I'm wondering do you think that? I know they picked you independently, but do you think they like the idea that you guys were both from Boston?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I have some theories about maybe they were they wanted I I don't know if I've told Perry yet I have some hunches that they going to something that I said on the show in a little bit. I have a hunch that they did not want to put perry with someone that did not understand parent loss and would not understand her, because I feel like, for me at least, me and perry were a perfect match because we understood that I did not want to be with someone like tyler or even with madison or anyone that had living two sides parents. I think they were looking for the correct moment because they knew how hard Perry's dad's death was, to put her with someone that would understand and would empathize and, as someone who also has lost a dad and some other family members from suicide, I felt like they put the correct person. I don't think Perry would have been happy with anyone else, especially on the spectrum because we say the darndest things. It was someone that did not understand the hard things in her life like that.
Speaker 4:Do you think that Perry? Yeah, definitely would have been, I feel, more left out if they had both parents and if it was like someone neurotypical, they might have less patience and be like I don't want to like stereotype all neurotypicals, but I think with neurodivergence it's just we're all in this community and they're typically more understanding of your quirks and differences. Like we just get it somehow. It's like we speak the same language, although literally, but also even in just the way we stem and have fun and all the things.
Speaker 2:Like you just get it but I also feel like it being around neurodiverse people, even after losing my dad, because I lost him at 13, going on 14. Don't remember, my mom says I might have been 14 to 15. I don't remember, but I knew how brutal the neurodiverse community was to me. I had friends at school who would get so uncomfortable when I wanted to talk about my dad that they would switch the conversation or go to talk about how their dad brought them to a Red Sox game that weekend. I'm like dudes, that's not what I want to hear. I want you to support me. Why are you not supporting me?
Speaker 2:So I think I'm glad that they put Perry with someone that understood, because I think she might have gotten into situations where the person did not really comprehend what is parent loss and would have put her into situations where she would have been so uncomfortable that she would not want to be in the room filming Right. That's why I was thinking, because I've been through it and it changes you. Yeah, that's what happens. But I'm glad I'm with her and we can do other things other than talk about parent loss. But we can also be in the same wavelength, like I understand how she feels sometimes and I know she loves trains and that helps her. I feel like it was really important for them to find someone else that understood it, because I don't know if there would be other participants who would have been kind, would have had the filters to understand what she was going through. And you're both close with your moms. Yeah, oh, yes, oh, my God, don't get me started with my stepdad. They met on the dating app, did you?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which one it was not. I think it was Matt. It was Matt's Christian dating site, or not?
Speaker 1:But who's Jewish in your in? No, both of them are Jewish. Yeah, I was going to say, why would they own a Christian?
Speaker 2:No, which is match, not a Christian.
Speaker 1:I forget which one, I don't remember which one, Maybe JDate, which is a Jewish one?
Speaker 2:I think my mom did not want a guy. Guys, if you're on a dating app, please do not put your fish photos out there, or fish photos when you go fishing, or anything or?
Speaker 2:any photos. No, like you holding up a fish with um, with a rod, or even hunting photos. That's not what my mom was looking for. So I just feel like me and her both had a whirlwind. I'm really glad that she found the guy that did not do any of those classical cis man things. She did not like that, but it's really cool that you can find love either on a TV show, like me, or like my mom who found it on the dating app. I don't know if she wants me to say her age, but she's 60.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So you can find love at any age, 60 or 22? 23. No 22 was when we met.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was 25. Yeah, so it doesn't matter. You just need to find love somehow. And I'm really cool that me and my mom have two different experiences one on screen and the other just meeting on a dating app.
Speaker 1:What would your advice be for someone who is struggling, looking for love? Be open, would you say, or is it the energy that you're just like I'm going to find my person? What do you think really was the magic, the secret sauce for the two of you? I?
Speaker 2:don't know, I guess neurodivergency.
Speaker 4:Definitely that was a big part of it. And our Spice Cat kitties yes, Spice Cabinet Cat Curry and Saffron.
Speaker 1:It's so adorable, right, saffron and Curry, keep you guys together.
Speaker 4:Oh, that might be part of it. And we both are slippery. That's such a random answer.
Speaker 3:Chapel Rome fans you know lesbians gotta love their cats.
Speaker 4:Yeah, we literally have to meow. It's so crazy, Literally at work today. Sometimes they'll just meow or choo-choo or randomly burn out tea.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 4:It's like. It's how I like express my joy and stuff.
Speaker 2:I guess it's Taylor Swift, cats and curry.
Speaker 4:Yep and trains, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's so funny. I get a picture every night from Tina of her cat.
Speaker 2:Multiple times.
Speaker 4:Lots of people do do, and my mom does.
Speaker 1:It's adorable it is adorable. You guys are so adorable thank you I love it.
Speaker 1:So people don't know, but we came together because I am fascinated with everything that has to do with love, obviously, and I was a big fan of the show and I was really interested and was so excited that four of the stars were from Boston and I had pitched in Boston Magazine and originally I had pitched James, harry and Callie and Callie, yeah, and then it was James who said we have to have Shelly. So basically, how I was brought into your world is that I looked, I followed you all on social media, being a fan of the show, and then I'm like, oh my gosh, there's a photographer who is in paradise, who went to the same school as I did, and so I wrote Tina a DM.
Speaker 2:What did you think when you got that? Dm was like what is this?
Speaker 1:lady doing. Who is she? What does she want from me? Yes, so I said, tina, just if you have any, you know, call me. And I sent the DM. Like two seconds later I just hear Hello, tina, what kind of camera do you shoot? I was like, what kind of camera do you shoot? And I found out Tina has a better camera than me. Why yeah, oh my God, yeah she does, so that was a really fun conversation and no, did you like how I?
Speaker 2:I think I think photographers. Sometimes I feel like photographers tend to lead with what do you shoot?
Speaker 3:on.
Speaker 2:That was very photographer-like, it was very.
Speaker 1:She'll call me and say are you editing? It's just funny the things that she says to me. You were so kind because you connected me to Perry, but I watched you go into supportive girlfriend mode where you're like, okay, this is what the magazine wants and you were helping me all this time and that you ended up being on the cover. Yeah, and so Shelley and James couldn't make it, but it was great because I said we have to have Tina because she's pulled us all together and that was a very fun experience. You both did so well on that. I loved every minute of it. The cover hasn't come out yet. I photographed a lot of celebrities in my life and most people are very nervous, no matter what level of fame, and not you two. You were singing glam train songs, glam track, glam track.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess it's our nervous emergency. Yeah, maybe Glam track. Yeah, I guess it's on the emergency. Yeah, maybe yeah.
Speaker 1:I think so, because you're not afraid in front of the camera at all, which is fascinating. How has your life changed, do you think, with all the fame?
Speaker 4:Oh my gosh, it is crazy. Still a lot of exciting things happening, but I'm just so booked and busy. I don't have a lot of exciting things happening, but I'm just so booked and busy I don't have a lot of free time. It's more events, one after the other, and getting lots of PR packages and lots of cameos to do, like I just feel like more just keep coming and it's hard to keep up with. People say you need, like, a manager to help manage your schedule, but basically it's my mom and I just doing it all together and she takes out her big calendar and writes all the things down to help me stay on track, because it's like too much to remember all in my head.
Speaker 2:I also can't remember anything. A lot of things Like she just would tell me this is happening. I still need to get back to a couple people Like the Prudential Center. They want us to come up one night.
Speaker 1:Oh, I have more, or someday.
Speaker 2:There's the Museum of Fine Arts. That's really cool. We have not done that. I feel really bad. But we also have been at WeHo Pride. We have done some other stuff. We can't say if we're on Love Season 4 yet, but just saying our summer has been booked because of Love on the Spectrum.
Speaker 1:Which you never could imagine.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:But do you dislike any of the fame?
Speaker 2:It depends For me at least. I came into it already with really loving communities. The disability community is so loving. If you know someone, that's toxic, people usually rat them out, which is not a great thing in the disability community, but it's also a great thing because then you know who not to follow. It's kind of bittersweet, but I also find that, since I am a runner with Achilles International, I'm an all-inclusive running team. The running community, the adaptive running community, is so nice, as well as the broader running community. They don't tolerate racism, homophobia, shaming. If someone fat shames someone, it usually circulates or you know that runner is doing that or something. But you know who's a safe person in the running community because if you have same mutuals, like running friends, then you know that you're safe. Yeah, so it just feels like I've been in very safe communities and I haven't gotten really a lot of hate. But perry has had a different situation.
Speaker 4:You have perry, yeah. So for me some came like after the show, but a a lot was already before.
Speaker 4:So for me I'm part of the rail fan community and not everyone's like this, but unfortunately, a big chunk is known to be like, very dominant and it's traditionally thought of as a male thing for boys and men to like trains and railroading, and some just have this belief that girls are weird for liking them or shouldn't be into it, or they see one thing out the ordinary or someone autistic. They'll like go and like poke fun at them or like make them feel called out and are really mean. And I've had some really bad ones on social media like Instagram, facebook and YouTube, though thankfully, after so much mass reporting and help from so many people, tirelessly, we got a lot of them removed or banned, finally taken down. But yeah, let's just say some are saying some really nasty things.
Speaker 1:I don't even want to say but I got death threats.
Speaker 4:My address stocks all sorts of crazy rumors made up about me.
Speaker 1:Who could make anything up about you. You're so sweet I don't know.
Speaker 4:Luckily there's way more love and support and, yeah, the bullying's definitely died down. Like I'm not saying it's totally gone, like I still get just or more general comments on, like our poster, if it's a collab with the governor, something people will say you guys like mentally or something better weird stuff but the really bad bullying's definitely been slowing down. Yeah, so my friends and family have helped, I feel like, scare away some of those really bad bullies. It was really hard for my mental health oh that's terrible.
Speaker 2:I have seen those public ones, like on Maura Healy's page when we did lab with her. But for me, I have dealt with so much. If it has not gotten, I would raise the flag. If it got to the point of what happened in 2019, where my ex-friend texted me the c-word, which I'm not gonna say on here, and sent me the C word which I'm not going to say on here, and sent me a meme that said China doesn't even want you a mini meme, what? And then I tried to report it to my ex-college. They did nothing and then she almost assaulted me when I was trying to get a restraining order from her.
Speaker 2:So if it got to that point, I just feel like for me at least, looking at this hate, after dealing with that and racism, I just feel like some of these things are just so silly or so trivial that I'm like this is fine, just block, hide your story and block this person and move on. So I've learned throughout the years as a BIPOC person of color, asian, autistic, disabled person, that I just need to have thicker skin than some people. The way I look at say homophobic things or homophobic things or homophobic like comments or ableist comments is the same thing as how I look at racist comments, and if it's not getting to the point of threatening myself, I'm just like. You guys are so silly you think you can hurt me.
Speaker 1:You can't I think that's why being an advocate for others is so important to both of you and it's because of the struggles that you had. I came to your speaking event at WGBH, tina, and I watched the audience when you talked about that teacher who bullied you about being adopted and how much that hurt you. Yeah, and that I I was like crying in the audience. It was like it hurt me listening to that story. And how do we make a difference? We educate.
Speaker 2:Yes, and as an Asian person of color and in the neurodivergent community, I wished more neurodivergent or the non-neurodivergent people that are BIPOC. I would love to become more involved in other communities other than disability. I would like to bridge the gaps. I just don't know how to do that.
Speaker 1:You have a pretty good platform right now and people are paying a lot of attention to you, and I think that's the great thing about this show is that it's teaching people about being neurodivergent and being on the spectrum or having a disability, and it's definitely needed and it's important. I think this was excellent. I'm so glad that you guys could come on the show today. I'd love to have you here. I think all this stuff is so interesting and amazing, and what do you have planned for the fall and things for us to look forward to? I have no idea. You also can't spill the tea either. What are you doing?
Speaker 4:Well, I can't spill certainty, but what I do hope is that I can get, hopefully, like a full, part-time job with the MBTA as a regular employee, because my internship should be through the end of August. But after that I gotta see what goes from there and I'll probably still more events and stuff. I have a lot of things coming up I need to figure out that's great.
Speaker 1:Well, we're all cheering for you. And what do you think, tina?
Speaker 2:I'm just riding the wave with her.
Speaker 1:There you go, ride the rails, the rails.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Ride the rails, see America.
Speaker 4:Amtrak, if you're listening, please get on board.
Speaker 1:Yeah, get all aboard.
Speaker 4:All aboard this gay train.
Speaker 1:Do you want to send us off with a song, barry oh should.
Speaker 4:I do that one Sure With Amtrak, sure, or the, which one Doesn't matter, or the purple line train. Maybe Should I do that one, or Charlie and the MBT. Alright, should we both do it.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 4:Should we do the whole thing?
Speaker 2:or just snip it. How does it start? Oh I know.
Speaker 3:Let me tell you a story of a man named Charlie. On a tragic and fateful day, he put dents into his pocket, kissed his wife and family, went to ride on the MTA. Well, did he ever return? No, he never returned and his fate is still unlearned. He may ride forever near the streets of Boston. He's the man that never returned Amazing.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. I love that. Thank you so good.
Speaker 2:I think Charlie was the perfect way to end Definitely, because Boston.
Speaker 4:Oh yeah, we love me some Boston there you go Amazing.
Speaker 1:Thanks for coming on. Shot at Love You're welcome.
Speaker 4:Thanks for having us. Thanks for coming on. Shot at Love.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having us, thank you.
Speaker 4:Oh, it was great. It was a terrific time. It was. It was a terrific time. It was terrific.
Speaker 1:And for now, this week Shot at Love dating tips inspired by our guests Tina Jushi Caruso and Pari Kim. Number one be fearless about putting yourself out there, whether it's auditioning for a reality show, singing in Harvard Square or trying something new. Confidence comes from action, not waiting until you feel ready. Jump on that glam track even if you're nervous. Number two prioritize kindness. Being kind builds trust and sets the stage for a healthy relationship. When dating, search for partners whose actions consistently show compassion. Number three focus on the little things that matter, from avoiding gluten to riding the trains together. Small, thoughtful gestures often mean more than grand romantic displays. It's the everyday consideration that makes love last. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is what Shot at Love is here for to help you find love. Keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Pick up your ultimate survival guide, my new book Shot at Love, on Amazon or wherever books are sold. I'm Keri Brett and we'll see you next time.
