Shot At Love
Shot At Love is the first motivational dating show of its kind. It teaches you how to be successful in online dating while inspiring the listeners to go for it. You can find love, and are worthy of it. Shot At Love with Kerry Brett - Me, Exposed- Introduction to Shot At Love Podcast with celebrity photographer Kerry Brett.
Shot At Love
Friendships Through Firestorms: Chapter 2
What does it truly mean to find your worth in the midst of life's most challenging moments? Two divorced women with young children—one a Harvard graduate with a penchant for designer clothes, the other a photographer with a dry wit—forge an unlikely friendship that becomes their lifeline while navigating the treacherous waters of rebuilding and dating.
Kelley Doyle bursts into Kerry Brett's life like a fashion-forward hurricane, armed with persistent optimism and dating wisdom that initially makes Kerry's "blood boil." With phrases like "enjoy the dance" and "be easy breezy," Kelley teaches her friend that confidence and self-worth matter more than perfect photographs or clever bios when looking for love. Through Sunday ritual dinners at their favorite Mexican restaurant and late-night adventures in Boston's dating scene, they create their own version of family while supporting each other's journey to find love again.
The story reveals Kelley's courageous escape from a deteriorating marriage—arriving at her parents' doorstep with three children, a dog, and only forty-two dollars in her checking account. Her father's advice to "make a decision not to make a decision" gives her space to breathe before crafting a new life. Meanwhile, Kerry struggles with her own divorce, feeling like "the aftermath of a failed art project." Together, they discover that fashion can be armor, friendship can be salvation, and sometimes the most powerful act is remembering your own value. From Kelley's battery-operated blinking earrings to bracelets engraved with "If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it," they find ways to become their own heroines. When Kelley finally reconnects with Walter Whalen at a local bar, her methodical approach to dating pays off in a beautiful wedding and blended family, proving that sometimes, after the storm, you really can see clearly.
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Chapter 2 Friendships Through Firestorms Om Shrim Klim Namaha Shivaya, an ancient Sanskrit mantra that invokes the spirit of both Shiva and Shakti, who are symbolized as the divine couple. Dating Enjoy the dance, my friend Kelly Doyle would often say to me as I struggled and continued to work on my lack of patience while disastrously dating on Tinder. In her annoyingly upbeat natured voice, Kelly would also say, Enjoy the courtship, like it was the 1950s in We Were Characters in the television show Mad Men. Then once again she'd repeat, enjoy the dance. My blood boiled listening to those three words I hated passionately. Followed by another one of her famous lines, be easy breezy, like lemon squeezy. When I would angrily snap back, there is nothing easy or breezy about me, I'm as serious as a heart attack. Kelly was right. When dating, desperation and neediness have no place. Confident, secure women have reserve, patience, and the ability to hold themselves in high regard. It's up to the man to court you, Kelly would say, and it's up to the man to lock it down. If you try to take the wheel in any way, it's game over because men are hunters. Kelly taught me a multitude of meaningful insights when it came to worthiness. When dating, we all agree it's essential to look your best and choose the proper photographs to make a great impression. My job as a photographer is to make people look better than they do in real life. I could fill a book with a million examples of photographs that can be used to elevate your online dating profile along with funny one-liners to hook potential prospects. Still, none of that matters. It's important to recognize that not a single glamour shot or comical comeback will make a difference without a strong sense of self-worth. In order to attract someone who appreciates you, is deserving of you, and enhances your life, it is crucial to hold on to your own value. The secret comes down to feeling worthy. You must find a way to believe that you are enough just as you are. We all have those beautiful friends that do life a thousand times better than us, backward in heels, ginger roger style. Meet Kelly Doyle and it's Kelly with an E. Not K-E-L-L-Y, but K-E-L-L-E-Y. Luckily, Kelly didn't need to resort to online dating, but if she did and someone didn't spell her name correctly, they would have instantly been unmatched. Why? If you can't spell someone's name correctly, then you aren't paying attention. How valued are you? Friendship. I wasn't looking for a friendship to save me from this dumpster fire I lived through. It is true, when a door closes, a window opens. During challenging chapters, there is usually a blessing and a silver lining. My friendship with Kelly was that gift. Kelly and I were the most unlikely pair you could ever put together. I couldn't have dreamed we'd become such fast friends. Kelly grew up a country club kid sailing at the Hangham Yacht Club while I bicycled around my block because my parents didn't know how to swim. Kelly's father, a prominent and beloved doctor at Massachusetts General Hospital, built a life on compassion and caring for others. He healed the rich and poor and a handful of famous patients such as Ella Fitzgerald, Lauren McCall, and John Carey. Kelly's personality is larger than life. She was just like the Reese Weatherspoon character Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Her fashion sense comes from her mother who's exactly like Moira Rose from Shits Creek. Kelly was all that and brains too. Some people are born this way. They have that extra hint of magic. And she has the flashy clothes to match, a closet filled with technicolor dream coats that Donnie Osman may have worn during his Boston production, an array of debutante dresses with pink and mainly green hues that bring out the hazel in her eyes. Upon meeting her, most are green with envy because she's so perky and effortlessly pretty. You want to hate her for waking up this way, but it's impossible. She's a five foot four inch blonde bombshell who is equally nice and smart. She was at the top of her class at their academy and followed in her father's footsteps by graduating from Harvard University. In college, Kelly was a school marshal who carried a special Harvard baton she twirled at this Harvard Square Ivy League School in Cambridge, Massachusetts, just outside Boston. Kelly is also a helping, healing friend like her dad, who you could find fixing someone's stocking in a bathroom stall with nail polish she'd whip out of her designer bag or reapplying fake eyelashes on a friend crying over a boy. When life gave you lemons, she'd make Meyer Lemon margaritas and invite the whole neighborhood over to help a friend harrow a hardship while resorting to fun to get through that sour, less sweet time. I needed a BFF, a wing girl to run alongside me up Heartbreak Hill, someone to give me a push, a pep talk, or even carry me piggyback style across the finish line of love. I had no idea how important it would be to have the assistance and support of a sidekick who is like an Olympic coach on a Zampic, injecting a large dose of fun into the dating process. Back then, Kelly worked in public relations at the front of the house at a luxury hotel called the Boston Harbor Hotel. One night, while my dad covered a high angala, he stopped to speak to Kelly and she shared with him her situation. Kelly had confided to my dad that she lived in her childhood bedroom and was back in the home she grew up in with their three young children. I credit my dad for knowing how helpful having a friend in the same situation would be. He then filled her in on my sad scenario. In her persistent manner, Kelly decided to track me down around town. Kelly and I first met at a 6 a.m. Pilates class. When I asked Kelly about meeting me, she said I was non responsive and filed me under a dark, mysterious artist. I remember thinking, how can this person be so bubbly and have so much to say this early? I can only form a sentence after nine o'clock. I had no idea why she wanted to be friends with me. She had a hundred friends. She was the Jim Carrey character and cable guy. I was Matthew Broderick's character who had enough friends. Kelly and I were the Gen X version of Kate and Allie, a television series starring Susan St. James and Jane Curtin, two divorced women with children who decide to live in the same house. We were the modern day version as we both got divorced with young children decades ago. Kelly met her first husband at Harvard, and after graduation he went on to graduate school and earned an MBA. He was a man who had a promising career, who sadly took a turn for the worst, from being a highly functioning human to a Harvard hobby to ending up in a padded cell when he became profoundly ill with mental illness. Kelly's personal life was deteriorating as quickly as her partner's disintegrating mind. Kelly and her husband lived in Arizona, and Kelly was isolated from her support system. Kelly went through five years of trying her best to help him and save her marriage, putting a band-aid on the situation and settling down to bargaining with herself. But the truth was, how much could she take? As a physician's daughter, Kelly knew she needed to get back to Boston and surround herself with friends, resources, and family. Being Irish Catholic, Kelly couldn't ever imagine divorcing him. She knew her situation was becoming dangerous, and as her life imploded around her, she needed to think and act quickly. Kelly devised a plan amidst the chaos to use her close friend's wedding to make her escape. She kidnapped her three young children and dog and arrived unannounced at her parents' doorstep. Equipped with only enough clothing for a weekend away and forty-two dollars in her checking account, she sought refuge and a fresh start. Kelly was overwhelmed. As she sat and talked with her dad, he said, I think you need to make a decision not to make a decision. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she realized that chapter of her life was over and that she wasn't going back to her husband. Horrorful things happen when you decide this isn't the life you want and are willing to take steps to create a better future. And indeed, that chapter was closed. The choices and the new life she built for herself became about her confidence and her abilities and her self-worth. It's unreal how finding love truly comes down to value and worthiness. Divorce. No one gets married thinking they will get divorced, and back then there was so much shame in relationships not working out. The first person I told I was getting divorced was my dad. He simply responded, I just want my old girl back. The drawn out divorce had done a number on me as I resembled the aftermath of a failed R project. When Kelly danced the night away at a friend's wedding she came back to attend, the pain from a life she left in Arizona disappeared as she laughed away the tears with old friends. Her parents said to her at the end of the night, We haven't seen you this happy in a long time. It took an awful lot to leave our situations, and it would take equal work to rebuild our lives. Thankfully, we had each other. On Sunday afternoons we'd make our runs to our favorite Mexican restaurant, El Cerape, and become our version of a blended family built between a pair of determined girlfriends, between the two of us, including four kids filled with lots of nachos, margaritas with ice and salt. After all, Tequila is an upper. Kelly dressed her way to success, armed with hot rollers, hairspray, and high heels. She dressed the part for the type of man she wanted to pull in. Not only was Kelly the whole package, but she made sure she was the best packaged version of herself because she knew feeling good empowers you. Kelly found self-expression in fashion or a new pencil skirt from The Express. Looking fabulous made her feel better about herself and her situation. One of my favorite stories was when she got written up at work and was forced into a lineup by the fashion police. She showed up at the hotel in December wearing red and white candy cane suede pants coupled with a cute blouse and blazer. A look she believed was completely work appropriate. The Boston Harbor Hotel frowned at her expression of the wardrobe, and they preferred her in a navy or black suit. Kelly concluded the story by saying, It's not my fault, they don't know what holiday festive means. One morning I was outside cleaning my car and packing my equipment for a shoot. At eight AM, Kelly pulled up in front of my house. She had just put her kids on the bus and was wearing a striking metallic taffeta dress accompanied by chandelier earrings and a jacket made out of feathers. She was proud as a peacock even though she had to resort to using Uncle Kenny's van. Uncle Kenny typically used the van for his painting jobs, but it would have to suffice as her own car had broken down. As she pulled up, Barbara Streisand blared from the speakers of the van. Kelly yelled, Good morning over the song The Way We Were. I glared up at her from underneath my baseball hat and asked, Did you wear that getup to the bus stop? Continuing the thought, I said, The other mums must have loved you. Kelly laughed and screamed, Wish me luck, I have a date after my event at the hotel. Fashion There were many rebellious things Kelly could have done during this challenging time, but she loved to push the envelope with fashion. She used statement pieces as a conversation starter on dates. Once Kelly visited a boutique shop called Erica Wilson on Main Street in Nantucket. Erica Wilson, a British woman, was an embroidery designer known as the Julia Childs of Needlepoint. It was at this iconic spot that Kelly purchased a collection of bangles created by Erica's daughter, jewelry designer Jessica Kagan Cushman. What made these hand engraved tusk bangles unique were the whimsical pop culture sayings carved along the edge of the bracelet. Unconventional as always, Kelly wore them all at once, stacked up her arm. Some of the phrases were, does this bracelet make me look fat? Out of my mind, back in five minutes. If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. And frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn. Kelly wore those bracelets because we didn't have much to pull in men. There weren't dating apps, and we didn't even have cell phones, so we used bracelets to become our own superheroes through jewelry. Kelly bought me the bracelet that I still have today that reads You have any idea who I am? So I would remember that I mattered. We put a new spin on fashion forward, forging our way while finding men to date. Kelly, the mastermind behind our urban adventures, used to use her shared determination to convince me to go out into the city by employing various tactics. She coerced me by offering to chauffeur me around town, then bribed me with the prospect of splitting a steak and indulging in the heavenly crafted all you can eat housemate chips at Girl 23. With her persuasive powers in full force, she assured me I only needed to stay for two drinks, then we could leave. After Kelly used every trick in her arsenal, I reluctantly agreed to engage in this gentleman's safari. I grabbed a seat at the bar next to Kelly, who was dressed to the nines, while I looked like a cyber criminal dressed head to toe in black. I didn't care if we met anyone, I was so low. The only thing I had going for me was all the mantras I was chanting in desperate efforts to raise my spirits and vibration. On this particular night, Kelly was wearing battery operated earrings that actually blinked on and off. How's that for a sick go sign? In the midst of it all, I was tucked in the dimly lit corner with my back to the crowd, yet men started to appear out of the woodwork. A few drinks into this masculine scavenger hunt, I held court with tons of guys as I performed my impromptu live stand-up comedy routine. The night ended with me making out with an NHL coach in the steakhouse coat closet. A night out or two. We bargained and begged our parents to watch our kids while we worked the social scene in Boston like Harry and Charlotte and Sex in the City. Kelly's dating experience included guys who were obvious no's, who stood her up or simply weren't very nice. She would be hurt, but mostly frustrated because she had little free time and meant business. Time is our most precious commodity and no one enjoys wasting it. She knew if you want to change, you needed to make time for what was important. She wrote a list of qualities of the type of man she wanted to marry and refused to settle for less. This man would have the ability to take on both her and her three children and a job that could afford the lifestyle she wanted. Meanwhile, I was running around town with a singer songwriter. To cheer Kelly up, a gaggle of girlfriends took her out to the bar at the Square Cafe in downtown Hingham. In dashes Walter Whalen in a custom pinstriped suit and preppy pink tie covered in martini glasses. He flashes a winning smile at Kelly and says, Can I join you ladies for a drink? Kelly and Walter had met a long time ago when they danced the night away at a junior high dance when they were both the most popular and best looking in the yearbook. However, they didn't date each other because they lived in different towns. As it turns out, Walter Whalen was a one. Kelly didn't reel in a fish, she landed a whale with Mr. Whalen. Walter proposed to Kelly in Nantucket, near the shop where she bought her epic bangle bracelets, and life with Walter Whalen would prove to be a well of a time. Sometimes you must become your own heroine, write your own fairy tale ending, and swim out when your ship doesn't come in. A year later, Walter bought a house a half a mile from the home where Kelly grew up. A perfect place for Kelly and her kids and a wedding. It was spacious enough to accommodate Kelly, her three children, and Walter's two. With a lot of love, they blended a family of five children in no birth order, Lila, Gus, Hannah, and two patents, Kelly's daughter and Walter's son. Walter and Uncle Kenny built a fence around the backyard and even built a she shed by the pool for Kelly. On their wedding day, they rented a white tent that brimmed with the delightful aroma of margaritas from El Sarape, fish tacos, and other Mexican-inspired cuisine. The catering was skillfully executed by Kelly's friend and classmate from Harvard, Trisha Perez Keneally, who had become the owner of the inn at Hastings Park, complete with this Michelin-starred restaurant. The couple finally got married by the pool wearing shades of pink. However, Kelly had many costume changes throughout the night because there was no way she could pick one bridal look. That's Kelly. It was the most beautiful wedding, but the only thing missing was the swans on the front lawn from the movie Father of the Bride. It rained on the morning of the wedding and I got nervous because it was a summer outdoor wedding, but by the afternoon there wasn't a cloud in the sky. We anxiously waited for the bride to enter the yard behind the newly built fence. The crowd was quiet with anticipation as the Jimmy Cliff song I can see clearly now played over the sound system. Around the corner, on cue, appears Kelly, arm in arm between her son Gus and her dad, Dr. Jerry Doyle, all beaming as they walked towards us to the words I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's going to be a bright, bright, sunshining day. Like Maya Angela said, every storm runs out of rain. That evening, Kelly danced through heels that turned into flip-flops and enjoyed every dance. Looking for love, my brand new book, Shot It Love, is out now. You can grab your copy today on Amazon. 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