Shot At Love

Guys With Guitars And Walking The Line: Chapter 3

• Kerry Brett

Share episode

A camera captures moments, but sometimes it captures more than you bargained for. When Giovanny Gonzalez strutted into my photography studio in his wing-tip boots and form-fitting t-shirt, I had no idea this headshot session would launch an eight-year romance that mirrored the tumultuous relationship between Johnny Cash and June Carter.

The chemistry was immediate and electric. After breaking my own professional rules by agreeing to review his photographs at his place, I found myself mesmerized as Giovanny picked up his guitar and serenaded me with Damien Rice's "The Blower's Daughter, from the movie Closer, where Julia Roberts played a photographer and Jude Law was her subject turned love interest." From that moment, we became inseparable – a creative force feeding off each other's talents and energy. We took Boston by storm, becoming fixtures at upscale restaurants like Stella and The Beehive, training together, and critiquing cuisine like unpaid food critics with insatiable appetites for culture and creativity.

When Giovanny confessed he'd given up on his musical dreams, I transformed into his biggest supporter. I became the ringmaster behind the Giovanny Gonzalez Band's branding, handled publicity, arranged photography shoots, and documented every performance. We achieved incredible things together – he sang the national anthem at Fenway Park, performed with the Dropkick Murphys, and accompanied me as I photographed Hollywood's biggest names. But like Jennifer Aniston's character in "Rockstar," I watched as the music industry's temptations began pulling him away. Despite many wonderful years together, I learned firsthand why Johnny Cash's "Walk the Line" resonates with so many – not everyone can maintain that balance when fame, groupies, and late nights beckon. Sometimes love isn't enough, and sometimes the final notes must fade.

Have you ever loved someone who couldn't walk the line? Share your story of loving a creative spirit and the bittersweet melody it left behind. Purchase Shot At Love on Amazon and find out more about Shot At Love Live events at www.shotatlovebook.com

Send us a text

SPEAKER_00:

Chapter three Ties with Guitars in Walking the Line Umbu Bobhaswaha Tatsavachor Viranium Bargodivas Yadimihi Diyo Yonat Prachodayat. In Sanskrit there isn't a specific mantra directly related to walking the line like Johnny Cash. However, you can chant mantras that promote focus, determination, and a balanced approach to life. One such mantra is the Gayatri Mantra, short form, a powerful chant that helps cultivate qualities that contribute to walking the line in life. Opening Act. It was a typical day at my studio and the air filled with anticipation as I set up my equipment, took the camera battery off the charger, and meticulously arranged my lights. It would be a busy day of shoots, and I needed to stay focused and be mindful of the time as I prepared to give all of my clients my energy and my best. My first photo shoot of the day was with a business solutions sales rep for Hewlett Packard, who decided to throw his hat in the ring and give acting a shot. Meet Giovanni Gonzalez, an incredibly fit Spanish man standing 5'11. As I swung open the front door of my studio, Giovanni Gonzalez made a captivating, charming, and clanging entrance, and his black wing tip boots echoed with each step. He proudly entered in snug fitting jeans, a sleek black belt, and form-fitting gray t-shirt, which served as a canvas to showcase his ripped physique. Thank you for agreeing to photograph me, Giovanni said with a grin, flashing a megawatt smile that lit up the room. I thought you only photographed babies and celebrities. This Hispanic heartthrob was in ridiculous shape. It was as if each individual muscle group had its own personal trainer. Without warning, Giovanni's confidence takes a comical detour as he arms himself with humor so strong you think you're watching a live stand-up. I quickly add my own one-liners to buffer the awkwardness of our first encounter and remind him not to take this photo shoot so seriously. Who's to say you're not the next celebrity? I smiled, acknowledging his sense of fun. Giovanni's charm was undeniable. He continued, by the way, could you give me a hand with all these clothes I brought for the shoot? Of course, I replied, put your outfits down here as I point to my desk and I'll go through it as I shoot. I had never seen so many tight little t-shirts in one sitting. Giovanni was striking. He had a unique face, strong features, and beautiful dark skin. He looked similar to the actor Joaquin Phoenix. Not only is Joaquin quite handsome, but he also played Johnny Cash in the movie Walk the Line. I had met Joaquin personally when I photographed him years prior at an event at the Four Seasons Hotel in Boston. I had no idea as I photographed Giovanni that we would end up in a love affair that mirrored the tumultuous and painful relationship between June Carter and Johnny Cash. Giovanni had a look, he had an edge, and he had something I couldn't quite figure out. He was clearly into the shoot and was impressed with my studio. He was wide-eyed with admiration as he gazed the covers that decorated the wall behind my frame station. His eyes danced around my studio, drinking in the detail of the iconic personalities I captured on previous shoots. I observed quietly as the session began, not saying much while absorbing the intricacies of this new character and person of interest. My camera seemed drawn to Giovanni's electrifying presence as I captured moments of vulnerability and strength with each shot. It was as if time slowed down with each frame. Sometimes the camera loves you. I knew Giovanni knew he was good looking, and pretty boys usually brought trouble because they could get away with it. He watched as I captured his soul, and who knew later that I would also, in time, capture his heart. Do you have a boyfriend? Are you dating anyone? Giovanni asked. I answered and explained, I'm getting divorced, and I have a three-year-old little girl, Morgan. My answer surprised him. I wouldn't date anyone who had a kid, he said. His words felt like a spotlight on my deepest insecurity, as if he had captured my fear through my camera lens. It was like he had focused his words on my worry that no one would want me because I had a baby on my hip that lovingly replaced my camera bag when I wasn't shooting. I responded quickly because I was pissed about his remark. I laughed at the ridiculousness of his comment and said, Do you mind if I ask you your age? No, I'm 38. Well, chances are getting higher for you that you will date someone who is divorced, unlike me, unless you want to date someone much younger, which is an option. Giovanni didn't like that answer. Do you want to take any portraits of me without my shirt on? He asked. No, these headshots are for acting, I said, hiding my internal eye roll. I was surprised by his request. It was something I hadn't been asked before. My initial take on Giovanni was that he was different than anyone I had ever met. He piqued my interest. After the shoot, Giovanni asked, Can I take you to lunch? I laughed and said, That's a new one. No one ever asked me that, I added. I like to keep it profesh. I'm all business. Plus, I have other appointments today, so even if I could, I can't. He understood, thanked me, hugged me, and strutted off. A few days later, Giovanni emailed me. Instead of coming back to the studio to view the images, can you meet me in the city at my place and bring your laptop? I don't know why I agreed, but I did. This was the only time I've gone against my studio policies. First track. Giovanni loved all of the images and we instantly liked each other. After narrowing down our selection and saving the best shots of Giovanni, I balanced hitting the mark creatively while complying with industry standards. This ensured that our final edits would position Giovanni at the top of the pile of actors. Secretly, I filed away my favorites to show my friends my new Latino lover. Giovanni poured his drinks, signifying and saluting that the studio was closed for the night. On cue, Giovanni grabbed his guitar and started to play what would be the first of many love songs he'd have in his private collection for me. This carefully chosen song was The Blower's Daughter by Damian Rice. Giovanni was extremely smart and equally deep, with a knack for strategically selecting songs that would both destroy you and simultaneously suck you in emotionally. Side note, the song The Blower's Daughter was featured in the movie Closer. It was the background music during a photo shoot in which Julia Roberts played a photographer and Jude Law played her love interest. As of today, the video for The Blower's Daughter has 83 million views on YouTube. Giovanni dramatically belted out lyrics. I can't take my eyes off of you. I can't take my eyes off of you. I can't take my eyes off of you. I can't take my eyes. Then softly whispered, My eyes. He might as well have been John Mayer and me, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and the song Your Body is a Wonderland because after that first kiss, my life had instantly changed. I would take all of your big plans and break 'em. This is bound to be a while. From that day forward, my head wouldn't hit the pillow without his hand behind it. Whenever I didn't have Morgan, I would head into the South End to be with Giovanni. We were nightly fixtures at the upscale restaurant Stella on Washington Street in the Hipp So Wah district. The ambiance at Stella was exciting and energetic. Its modern all-white space was a favorite for creatives as it looked like a dimly lit Apple store. In concert, a motley crew of characters who worked on Newbury Street would flood in after the daily grind as the two of us sat at the bar while Boston's beloved bartender, Peter Cipriani, would serve as cocktails while getting a kick out of our stories. We'd bounce around restaurants and cocktail lounges, indulging in the South End's nightlife and trendy atmospheres. We'd frequent establishments such as Gaslight Brasserie, a French-inspired eatery, and the beehive, a live music venue filled with blues and jazz, tackle tapas and tequila at Toro, or we'd eat our hearts out at Inchovies. One of our favorite things to do was people watch the diverse crowds of locals at Waldy's Cafe on Mass Ave. This legendary venue was one of the oldest jazz clubs in the United States and the first African American owned jazz club in New England. It was in this hideaway rich with history where we'd sit feeling slightly important and acting like we mattered, imagining that perhaps we had made it while sipping martinis and listening to the talent that would congregate with their instruments from the Berkeley School of Music a few blocks away. At that moment, life with Giovanni was like a rom-com or their most well-written love song. Once we clicked, time moved like a continuous shutter speed onto the next cover, next opening party, or next gig. It was the most exciting ride. We were constantly in motion, out on the scene, where working hard and playing hard lived. We religiously trained and worked out together. On weekends, we took long runs alongside Jamaica Pond and Jamaica Plain. After our runs, we'd go back out because all of the running had Jamaica me hungry. We were basically unpaid food critics who couldn't get enough culture, creativity, or cuisine. I thought it was love, and we both loved each other to the best of our abilities, but having this intense need to be together was also an unhealthy addiction and a codependency. Starting Chord. When we weren't out on the town raising holy hell, Giovanni would pull out his guitar and sing songs he loved to play. Why don't you play professionally? I asked. I gave up on my dreams, he said. I had played with a band called the Travelers a while ago, but to get back into it seems almost impossible. We embarked on a creative collaboration, and in no time the Giovanni Gonzalez band was born. I went into overdrive, encouraging and supporting him. I desperately wanted to inspire him because I instantly loved him and his voice. I would remind him daily that he was a combination of Fergie and Jesus when he sang, stealing John C. Riley's line from the movie Step Brothers when describing Will Farrell's singing voice. Giovanni and I had the same humor, and it was a coin toss who was funnier. There were moments of cartwheels, high kicks, love songs and laughter filled with shaker eggs, acoustic guitars, violins, and vocals. We were a family band and the music played on. I found my passion and purpose through photography, and Giovanni found his in lyrics often infused with raw emotion. We discovered a new sense of self in Giovanni's music as we both pushed each other's artistic pursuits. We shared the same love of music and creativity and obsessed over funny or tear-jerking movies. Giovanni's favorites were Mr. Holland's Opus and It's a Wonderful Life. It was a wonderful life as we embarked together and combined our magical talents. The Serenade. Giovanni made me smile from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning when I looked at his dark complexion next to mine. He would say, Carrie, you're so fair, I don't know where the sheet ends and you begin. We were inseparable and we didn't move without each other. Giovanni's brother-in-law, Tito, used to say we were like peas and carrots, a pair that perfectly fit together. I thought we were more like John Lennon and Yoko Ono, but I promised to never break up the band. During those years, we did some incredible things. Giovanni assisted me on shoots in LA and NYC where I photographed some of the biggest names in Hollywood. We went on countless shoots where I photographed famous players and teams such as the Red Sox, Celtics, Patriots, and Bruins. Giovanni sang the national anthem at Fenway Park and the Boston Garden. I also photographed the Dropkick Murphy's album covers when the album and song, Shipping Up to Boston, went platinum because of the Martin Scorsese film The Departed. We sat on Giovanni's couch in Boston as we watched David Letterman hold my photograph that appeared on the cover of the album Meanest of Times in his hand on the late show. Giovanni even sang a song that appeared on a dropkick Murphy's demo. The song was Chosen Few. It was written by the Irish punk rock band's leader, Ken Casey. He wrote this short song to accompany an article in The Improper Bostonian, highlighting the band's success as they were nominated for the Boston's Best Issue. At the same time, I photographed the band for the cover. It was a shipping up to awesome time. It was all right there for us as we were the ultimate ensemble. Hitting the stage. To me, being Giovanni's girlfriend was the role of a lifetime. I documented it all, capturing every performance, standing ovation, and every stolen look. I was there for every broken string, every nailed high note, I found missing chords, set up mic stands, located sheet music, organized set lists, and I didn't miss a gig. I even did the sound checks. I made the logos, t-shirts, and banners. I arranged and styled the photo shoots. I took the photographs and videos, did all the editing and created the promotional pieces while handing the publicity and directing his fan base to his next show. I did the whole kit and caboodle. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Giovanni. I was his number one fan. That was until I became the character, Emily Poole, played by Jennifer Aniston, the girlfriend of the character Chris Cole, played by Mark Wahlberg in the movie Rockstar. The film tells a story of Chris Cole, a talented singer who performs in a Steel Dragon cover band. Eventually, he gets his shot at becoming the lead singer in the real Steel Dragon band. He is asked to replace the original lead singer, Bobby Beers, as Bobby decides to part ways with the excessive rockstar lifestyle. As lead singer, Chris becomes consumed by the trappings of fame, touring, groupies, and all the excess that comes with the rock and roll life, while Emily becomes disillusioned with Chris's new persona. I may have been living a version of the Emily Poole character, but I was no fool, as I yelled from the rooftops, trying to warn Giovanni of the slippery slope he found himself on. All the while, Giovanni, through caution to the wind, took center stage and yelled, stand up and shout. My way of standing up and shouting consisted of airing my concerns, setting boundaries, and voicing my opinions of what was at stake, our relationship, that was becoming less than harmonious. I hoped our relationship wouldn't have the shelf life of a hit song, which doesn't stay at the top of the charts forever. The tour. Life with a musician is hard for many reasons. It leads to late nights, drinking, infidelity, bar brawls, and bad behavior. There are two types of musicians, those who drink or do drugs, or those who are AA. The ones who survive can stay long term in the industry and are the ones who are clean and sober. Life on the road is challenging in itself. Try packing equipment after performing all night at 3 a.m. in Boston during a snowstorm. Life with the lead singer isn't glamorous at all. Sometimes love isn't enough, and sometimes the music ends and it's closing time. You can have it all, but if your someone doesn't appreciate what they have, there will be another pretty face in the crowd. Where there is a gig, there are girls and groupies. You learn to live with it. For some reason, I didn't let it get to me. I was Lady Gaga to Bradley Cooper and A Star Is Born, and Scarlett Johansson to Pete Yorn in the song The Relator. We were Sunny and Cher. I even played the tambourine on songs like Wagon Wheel by the Old Crow Medicine Show. Our love spun like a whirlwind until the wheels came off the wagon. The late night jam session abruptly ended, and the final notes faded. The problem with Giovanni was he was great when he was good, and I had him on the straight and narrow for six incredible years. These were happy times. But ask Gwen Stefani, Kate Hudson, Gwen Palcho, Kim Kardashian, and Christy Brinkley what life is like with a musician, especially a lead singer. The story of the lead singer, guys with guitars, or those who can't walk the line is as old as time. I knew in my heart that this act was in trouble, and this performance might be ending its tour. I feared Giovanni would end up a one-man show as a cloud of uncertainty hovered over the stage, and I prayed the curtain wouldn't close. This was the beginning of the hard time I would do. Johnny Cash tells it best in the words he wrote in the song, walk the line. For you, I know I'd even try to turn the tide. Because you're mine, I walk the line.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Kerry Brett

Host