Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
The Parenting Comedy Hour
The latest episode centers on the challenges of parenting in a digital and trend-driven world, exploring themes of peer pressure, self-image, and accountability. Listeners will gain insights into navigating the complexities of raising children who are often influenced by social media and their peers while highlighting the importance of allowing them to make their own mistakes.
• Discussion about the impact of peer influence on children's self-esteem
• Exploration of instant gratification and its effects on children's commitment
• Examination of parent-child dynamics in the context of modern social trends
• Importance of accountability and responsibility in child-rearing
• Encouragement to allow children to explore self-expression through personal choices
Thank you everybody for tuning in to this week's Top Shelf Story, and today I want to talk about how fucked up this generation of children are.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm raising one of them. I can't wait to hear about it, tony.
Speaker 1:So my kid's, at an age where everything needs to be cool, it needs to have the right riz. You know what I'm saying. You're right, I do, and it's really fucking annoying Riz Raz, because what's cool one day and I don't know if this is an all kids thing or if this is a my kid thing, so you guys might have to help me out on this but my kid, if somebody says something to him, we're going to use this prime example that's going through my house right now. That started several years ago. So I used to my kid used to have a nice high and tight fade haircut, just like yours no, no, like I mean no, like you can do.
Speaker 3:You took him to a cheaper barber. No, I'm his barber.
Speaker 1:But, he had it very, very tight on top. He liked it. He liked it where it was like prickly when he ran his hand on it on the top and like skin fade on the side. That's how he liked it. That's how he always liked it. Maybe that's how you like to cut. I liked it on him. And then one day and this is like three years ago, probably two years ago, uh, his friend at school called him buzz cut. That's all he said. He called him buzz cut one time and instead of my kid going back and tell like I tell him to do when somebody talks shit to him, tell him to suck your dick he didn't do it he came home and told me that he is now decided to grow his hair out starting that day.
Speaker 3:Yep, wait. Instead of saying suck my dick, it is growing my hair out it's probably a better choice actually yeah, I think it would be. Tony. You're in a rich place, you're going to get expelled for something like that no, you're not going to get expelled, you don't think anyone says swears in your school.
Speaker 1:You tell some spoiled little asshole to eat your ass and the problem's solved.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying fuck what happened is sucking a dick that looks to sound a little better. Eating ass is going a little too far.
Speaker 1:It depends on the severity of the situation. But and my kids too afraid to say it to anybody too I tell them all the time I don't think I've ever said to anyone.
Speaker 2:So I'm on your kid's side on this one.
Speaker 1:Well, I get what you're trying to say, though, that's okay. More than one person can be wrong, that's fine, right?
Speaker 3:you ever tell anyone to suck your dick, though?
Speaker 2:yes, I married her nice, so noise, tony.
Speaker 1:So my kid has now grown his hair out. Uh, it's basically the. Can I talk to your manager? Cut it's down to his chin erin it's down to his chin gotta be kidding me.
Speaker 3:It also looks good on him, hire this picture while you explain this you need to see a picture as you're explaining.
Speaker 2:Yes, you need to hire this kid that called him buzzcut, to call him a little sissy fairy with his long ass bitch hair remember that old ass word fairy, you fairy yeah you, fairy fucking fairy dude, that's so old school dude.
Speaker 3:I like it.
Speaker 1:I like it that's the way it is too man. So now this kid called him I think it was a different kid that called it too Said that his haircut looks emo.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've heard that before my kids. I had a kid on my soccer team that had long hair on one side, shaved and whatever, and my kids are like that's, that's emo kid. Yeah, what's with the emo talk? I don't know. He look, is it? Is it all long or is it short on the sides?
Speaker 1:because it looks all long no, it was short on the sides, and then he wanted to start growing it out on the sides. That's not so bad. I mean, he probably does that gay-ass Bieber thing all fucking day. But that's what he wants and I don't like there's plenty of shit I need to control about my kid? Yeah, he'll learn but his haircut is not one of them be fucking happy if he wants to do whatever he wants with his hair dude, I'm good with it.
Speaker 3:Sure, just as long as it fits in with what I tell him he needs to do what if he asked you I don't know if that makes sense what if he wanted to dye it a different color? No, that's a hard.
Speaker 1:No, really grow it however he wants, but he wow tony's wow not a fucking chance.
Speaker 3:That's what the line is drawn, and a colored hair, yeah what the fuck?
Speaker 1:why? So I'm gonna tell you. So I will not approve colored hair, but I will approve what is so wrong with colored hair? So he doesn't want to cut his hair, but he doesn't want to keep growing it and he wants his kid to quit calling him emo.
Speaker 3:So that would be a lot more emo to color it, does he?
Speaker 2:realize there's always going to be another name if he keeps letting that matter.
Speaker 1:This is what I'm telling him. So now, kids are fucking dicks. So now he's like well, basketball season's starting and I don't want to cut my hair short, but I don't want it in my face. Just get a band. He wants full fucking braids full braids they're gonna start calling him Sandy.
Speaker 2:If he braids that shit, I can learn real quick, you probably could.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think you could learn, do not. What's worse braids or colored hair. Braids or colored hair what's?
Speaker 2:worse Fuck that Braids on a white kid.
Speaker 1:So he wants braids old dude, there's like three other white kids out of school that have braids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they're probably black no, you're gonna.
Speaker 2:There's no black people at his school you're gonna have to start calling them jayden or something that's my, that's my you offered up that information to the general public.
Speaker 1:So he wants braids and I'm going, okay, whatever. So I find somebody that's going to braid his hair and my apprentice also had braids and he came over the other day and he was like, oh, chase, I hear you want braids. And he's like, yeah, I, you want braids. And he's like, yeah, I think I'm gonna get them. And he goes have you ever had your hair braided before? And he's like, no, why doesn't?
Speaker 3:it fucking he goes.
Speaker 1:I'm just letting you know now hurts, he goes. It is excruciatingly painful and, uh, he goes. Maybe after like six or seven times. You start getting used to having your hair braided. It's not so bad, but the first time he's like it is the most miserable thing you will ever go through in your life because basically, you have to get it so tight that it's almost ripped out of your head, otherwise it will not.
Speaker 3:It will not work. Yeah right, I don't.
Speaker 1:I mean, so I understand of it so I say something to him. I'm like you, you know you want to get cornrows, that's what you got to deal with. And uh, he goes. Oh, I don't want cornrows. I'm like, what the fuck do you want? He goes, goes. I want box braids His hair's not long enough. He wants fucking coolio braids. I'm like what the fuck is wrong with this kid. And it's all because one person said he looks emo.
Speaker 3:I don't think that's it. He saw something somewhere on a TikTok, on a Facebook ad, whatever it was, and he's like dude. That kid's hair is slick. Can we represent that? How do I do it? What's that called?
Speaker 1:I mean, all he watches is the NBA.
Speaker 3:so I'm sure Okay, there you go. I mean, there's like 16 guys on each team that have fucking cool braids.
Speaker 2:No, dude, he does not need that, he does not. Well, you know what?
Speaker 3:You cannot dude, he does not need that, he does not. Well, you know what you cannot.
Speaker 1:He's just gonna stop him from doing that you're gonna cause, I'm gonna let him do it, and then immediately somebody's gonna talk shit to him oh yeah, he's gonna be like he's gonna be like dad.
Speaker 3:We need to get these out of my hair tonight they're like he's gonna come to school and someone's gonna be like uh, I thought coolio died man dude.
Speaker 1:Nobody at his school knows who the fuck coolio is uh, you never know, it's tiktok age uh did I ever tell you when we were at a restaurant, michelle was looking at her phone and it was me, her and chase. And she looks at her phone, she goes, she goes. Oh shit, coolio died and chase started fucking crying and he's like why did we know him? He's feeling you have that really sensitive child she thought he thought somebody close to us died who was named Cleo.
Speaker 2:Auntie Coolio. Is that the woman we used to go over and get spaghetti dinner after church? Auntie Coolio? No, no, that was.
Speaker 1:Aunt Jackie. No, this is a rapper from 1989 who really got famous in 93. How did he die again? I don't know. I'm assuming heart disease.
Speaker 2:By the fucking braids he had on his head. Pulled his fucking skin and face apart.
Speaker 3:Tell your son this is what happens when you get braids you die like Coolio.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but it didn't help that my apprentice was over and he's like Wait he was over that day. He was over. A couple apprentice was over and he's like wait, he was over that day, he was over a couple days ago. And he's like yeah, I'm growing my hair back out so I can get braids oh my god, god damn him.
Speaker 3:He always says the worst thing at the worst time he is the worst sometimes.
Speaker 1:I hope he doesn't listen to the show. I doubt it. He's too young.
Speaker 2:He doesn't listen to podcasts so what else about this generation? Yeah, I don't think that was a very good example.
Speaker 1:Your own kids, I'm just saying it's a thing like they they always have to have the fucking coolest thing like. Like he made us run out and get him Jordans and for some reason he wore them to school for a couple days and then he was like I don't like them anymore and I'm like who said something? And he's like nobody. Just I think I want this now and it's just the race to try to be like. I don't know if they're trying to be like everybody else, but like I see all these fucking kids wearing like hopping shoes and shit no, it's, it's it.
Speaker 3:There's a huge influence and it's definitely, uh, the it's the expand of reels, short videos of people doing dumb things or expressing the way they are in life, and my kids are all day long watching and listening to videos. It's fascinating. Right, swipe, they'll watch something for a second or two seconds.
Speaker 3:Swipe, it's swiped and you sit next to them and you're like, god damn it, don't swipe at that one. I want to know what happened. Like they will literally swipe through 15, 20, 50 fucking things before they watch one thing for more than 10 seconds and then, when that 10 seconds goes, that's where they really expand on how they like, really want to like, express themselves, and usually it's always negative or dumb, really dumb. It's always people that have no idea what's going on. It's 20 year olds, 30 year olds, maybe not 30 year olds, 20 year olds that are, uh, fucking mommy boys and nothing to do in life than just the jake pauls, yeah exactly jake paul 10 years ago.
Speaker 1:Exactly, not jake paul now did you guys?
Speaker 3:you see a video where they showed jake paul when he was 15 dancing mike tyson when he was 15. Jake paul is doing like fucking yeah, dancing in the bathroom fucking twerking his ass and mike tyson's kicking the fuck out of someone. But now Mike Tyson fought Jake Paul at 58. Now Mike Tyson looks like the fucking fool because he just wanted, basically he wanted.
Speaker 1:Okay, he doesn't look like a fool man he was at one point. He's got fucking tigers to feed bro.
Speaker 3:He was at one point. He walked away from the camera, kissed the one point. He walked away from the camera, kissed the guy. Oh, kiss the guy first walked away from the camera, showed his ass. You knew right away. This is all fucking show, yeah you know how much everybody watched it.
Speaker 1:You know how much meat tigers eat a day. I watched tiger king.
Speaker 3:I know, dude, you gotta kill horses on the daily yeah, that shit ain't cheap man.
Speaker 1:Mike tyson needed 20 million dollars, and I'm gonna tell you this right now I don't give a fuck who you are there. I mean, there really isn't anything I wouldn't do for 20 million dollars, million dollars.
Speaker 3:I think I could find something you wouldn't do you could get me to do anything, chris, we can. Let's find something tony going to do for 20 million dollars.
Speaker 2:I don't know this guy's a lot of money, but yeah, I don't want to go down that path.
Speaker 1:Listen to me, if you gave me 20 million dollars every generation, wait what? Every generation of my family would be taken care of that's not enough.
Speaker 3:That is not enough money. No, I would take that 20 million dollars, you're gonna invest.
Speaker 1:I would keep a million of it. I would put 19 straight in a park.
Speaker 3:Okay, then stop now. When you said 20 million, stop there, because it's not 20 million anymore. It's what you had done with the 20 million, right so it's not 20 million you cannot take.
Speaker 1:20 million is a kickstart to generational wealth.
Speaker 2:Agreed agreed, unless you're buying, unless you spend it on dumb shit yeah, dude, because someone is like okay, someone who has 300 now goes to casino, try to get rich rather than buying fucking apple stock right or whatever right in this case, bitcoin's probably the better example and they go to the $300 now goes to casino to try to get rich rather than buying fucking Apple stock right or whatever right.
Speaker 2:In this case, Bitcoin is probably the better example, and they go to the casino with it. So why do you think that you're going to do any different when you have a bunch of zeros behind that $200? Do you know how long it would take me? You're just going to lose the same amount.
Speaker 3:Do you know how long it would take me to go to the casino?
Speaker 1:with $200 at a crack and blow through $20 million.
Speaker 2:You won't go to 200 bucks at a crack, dude. You won't. No, I would literally-. You're not going to take Jeeves and the $30,000 a year you pay him to drive into your $80,000 limousine down to the casino to play 200 bucks dude, you're going to play $25,000 when you go down there.
Speaker 1:That's going to be your new zero? Not at all. Yes, I'm at a very different level financially than I was 20 years ago. Yeah, but okay, if you like, as it sits right now, and like I'm not saying like, um, I would call myself middle class if there ever was one. Okay, like I am not wealthy at all, but when I was young I was fucking poor. I, I still live my life very, very, very similar. I'm not, I'm not doing shit like excessively, because now I have the ability to make a couple thousand dollars a week instead of 140 a week when I was young.
Speaker 2:I don't know, bro, when was the last time you had to hit your starter with a hammer?
Speaker 3:yeah, we got a lot of dead you know what I'm saying we got a lot of dead animals on the wall too. Something's going on here.
Speaker 2:When last time you had to rent a.
Speaker 1:That deer cost me a bullet, bro, and I'm gonna tell you this oh shit, it cost you a bullet.
Speaker 2:It cost you a fucking thousand dollars, a thousand dollars to make it look that way.
Speaker 1:Nah, to get that mounted, that was 300 bucks. That was 275. That's crazy.
Speaker 2:Why is it too so?
Speaker 1:you said $20 million. $20 million, you're staying in your house. I would keep a million of it, yeah, Well.
Speaker 2:I don't know You're moving into my house. I don't know Moving to my house I wouldn't buy it With your current fucking fancy middle class money and move into my house and you would have nearly a quarter million, probably half a million dollars, right. I'd be like one fortieth of the way.
Speaker 1:I very I actually very much so considered selling my house and moving to West Allis.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, welcome to the party. Come on down, we live why? And moving to West Allis? Yeah, dude, welcome to the party.
Speaker 1:Come on down, we live. Why? So that that money can be invested in something else for?
Speaker 3:my future.
Speaker 1:Because my house.
Speaker 3:You think West Allis is going to? It's an investment, I know. But a house, a house in West Allis, I don't think it's going to appreciate as much as something in new berlin, or I don't know uh fucking where you live.
Speaker 1:No, I'm saying taking what, what my house has gained in value since I've been in I understand what you're saying moving into something much, much cheaper I understand so I could free that money up actually the best time would to be would be right now to do it because I consider selling my house and moving my whole family with my mom just to save up for a while into the storage room you have.
Speaker 3:Oh wait, you know you have like six rooms here in the fucking uh, just living at the shop we're not allowed to.
Speaker 2:I checked my lease says oh, bullshit.
Speaker 3:they got heat. You got a fucking fridge what else you need you can deliver here. Wow, you're done. There's four bathrooms. It takes a little bit for them to find it, but hey, yeah, there's four fucking bathrooms here. Jesus Christ, I shit in one. I forget what one I shot in. Yeah, jason, that one, gordon, the other one.
Speaker 2:The kids nowadays are a product of the parents that are around. True that Chris and I interact with a lot of humans throughout my day, as much as I can, going to places here and there and the humans and I'll suck it's not just the kids, bro.
Speaker 3:No, it really is the like. There's shitty people. There's just shitty people. Okay, I don't know with the woke people nowadays, how is life going to be in 10, 15, 20?
Speaker 1:years. I think the wokeness is kind of taking a back seat in society. It is now, I think, people are realizing the stuff that they were standing up for was absurd.
Speaker 2:What's the thing that we need to really focus on here is the lack of ability. Really focus on here is the lack of ability, the lack of people's ability to take accountability for what the fuck they got going on.
Speaker 3:I couldn't even say that again if you asked me, to people like it do not take accountability for their own shit ever my whole life's nothing but accountability.
Speaker 2:The old thirty thousand dollar curtains, everything's in my mama's name type shit, where you can have all these fancy shit, but you're still getting food stamps and rent assistance and whatever programs or something like I don't know. I can't think of any good examples, but it's the people. What it is, though, is that people don't realize that if you don't take accountability for the shitty shit, then when something good happens to you, you can't accept that shit either. So when you accept and take accountability for the bad shit that happens in life, you can say yeah. When something good happens, you say yeah, I did that and feel confident that you fucking did it and that's what the world needs more of.
Speaker 3:Agreed, that was my, my soapbox I mean, I know someone that's not the kids. I know someone that's homeless, living with with me right now, with me right now. That's that's getting 400 dollars in food stamps a month. Well, whatever, I mean you're that's that right.
Speaker 2:This individual probably can't work very well right now, but it was probably decisions they made earlier in their life that may have caused a faster trip to where there's accountability, yes, so where's the accountability happening there then?
Speaker 3:there's not. That's the problem. So how can you, how can you account for that? Who's going to account for that? I mean, how do you?
Speaker 2:I personally, I am raising a child to be accountable. I was raised, you gotta, we gotta win, we gotta win the accountability people gotta win. I don't know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:No, I get it. Uh, you have to be. If your actions you fuck up, take your fuck up to the heart and fucking move on, because people have such a hard time accepting a win.
Speaker 2:Sometimes they're like I don't deserve this, like when something good happens to them, like I don't deserve this.
Speaker 1:Nobody says that. Oh yeah, I don't understand that not at all. I would say more everybody's like when they don't win, they're like I should have won yeah.
Speaker 3:I would say that too, and I would say the exact same thing if you feel like there's something wrong because I did not win, like all all fucking around the side.
Speaker 1:I am brutally honest with my children and we're gonna take his last basketball season season into account here. They fucking sucked. Everybody beat them. Were you still the coach? I was not the coach.
Speaker 3:I was the assistant to the coach. What was your ending win-loss? How many games did they win One? How many games did they win one? How many? How many games did they lose? Uh, nine. Okay, so that's not that many games, though they. They lost. The fucking bucks are.
Speaker 2:Basically, they could be nine and oh oh, you think the team is still melding together and didn't have their shot after nine, ten games I agree, no, no.
Speaker 3:I think there is a chance where someone can develop in a team where it can just all of a sudden turn around. They can start winning like every fucking game. Yes, but here's the thing that's not enough to understand a team when you have nine games right, but what I'm saying is is he's like why are we losing?
Speaker 1:like he didn't understand why they like they were all bummed out when they lost and it's like well, you didn't play good, the other team practiced harder, not true, that's not true.
Speaker 3:You play. You play together as a team. They weren't playing together as a team. They finally were okay because let me ask you this when was that one win? It was probably towards the end.
Speaker 1:No, it's like the second game well, you know what?
Speaker 3:that just fucks all the shit I was just trying to prove to you about.
Speaker 1:But I'm like, well, I'm like the other teams practice more, they play better together. I'm like nobody on my kid's team is worse than any other individual kid on any of the other teams. Like every team. How do you know that? Really, though, like every team has like one kid that is like substantially better than the rest like shooters like like you got some good shit. Yeah, there's like, there's like one yannis on every team and all this is not a shooter.
Speaker 3:All the rest of them are ball champs.
Speaker 1:You know like they're, they're all just good, they're fine, but they can't play together as a team. And I have no problem telling my child that, like you failed because your team didn't practice enough together.
Speaker 1:You guys didn't work hard, you didn't practice outside of your practices for the with the coach yeah, you gotta practice yourself like like there's a lot of reasons why you guys are losing these games right, and instead of you, I know for a fact, other parents are just like oh, it wasn't your day, oh, they, they just played better today, like sugar-coated, why they lost. And I'm just like look, you know, you fucking lost.
Speaker 3:You know that reminds me of one of the episodes on um practical jokers, where one of the um the penalties or whatever they do at the end oh, when joe had the not joe not joe um, whatever his name was had to talk shit to his daughter about being shitty at baseball and like it ain't your sport. You can just be a home mom, You'll be okay with that. You can't play sports, Just you know, take yeah, like, like shit, yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, I know you have to be like that. The one I think about with Impractical Jokers is when Joe or maybe it was Q, I don't know one of them, it was Q, one of the four, the baseball Was it baseball? No, he had to go to like an indoor play gym for kids oh, that was Q and say shit to the parents. Yeah, that was Q. He's like oh, it's kind of hard to watch your kid when your face is buried in your phone.
Speaker 3:You know, I don't know, man, I feel like you have to be honest with your kid.
Speaker 1:Like yeah, the way, the way this generation is like on the computer and fucking breezing through shit on youtube and all that shit, like everything's instant gratification for them and it took away all their like hey, look, man, you want to be good at playing the fucking trumpet. We gotta work well that shit doesn't happen the first time you pick the trumpet up. Oh yeah, yeah. Like there's a lot that goes into that. Like you want to be good at the trumpet, you're gonna have to fucking practice serious.
Speaker 3:We're getting fucking serious right now. I'm fucking seriously agreeing with you. That is true. Everything's instant gratification, yeah, and my kids do that with their pads, their ipads, their fucking phones. And no, it's no more like working weeks and weeks on end to finally be able to do something like play an instrument, and you're like, just yeah like, for instance, me.
Speaker 1:Me and my kid used to draw together all the time and sometimes you just have a natural drawing ability, though right, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:I drew the spider straight just off the top of my head. This is either a fruit stand or a garbage.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like it. You know right away. I thought I drew the spider.
Speaker 1:But we were drawing together for me to teach him a lesson that we're going to sit down for 10 times and draw over the next month and that whole time I'm going to work on the same drawing, like I'm going to keep adding to it and adding to it and adding, because you know it's like okay, let's both draw an elephant today. And I'm drawing a super detailed and sharpening my pencils different and rubbing them down to get them to be not so sharp and adding details and making it look like a real life elephant. And he draws the outline of an elephant, colors it gray, real quick. And he's like all right, what do we draw next? And I'm like, no, it doesn't work like that. You want to make something good. It takes time and effort. Like everything is not fucking two seconds, I'm the best at it. Move on Right.
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, lack of specialization, everyone can be the same, the whole mentality, it all contributes teaching, teaching them to focus on anything when, when everything in their life electronically is in three fucking second clips, is impossible.
Speaker 3:You know what's crazy too is like a very simple thing to that. Your point you're just saying is like my kid will play FIFA. He plays the FIFA like everyday soccer on the Xbox and like he always plays it on like you play against the computer and he always plays it on easy.
Speaker 2:And he wins like 63 to two.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's always like I mean, like how many? How do you score 60 points playing a soccer game? And I'm like, can you try a little bit harder? Just put it up to expert or put it up to novice or whatever. So when I play with them, we put up the highest fucking level ever or the highest level they have, and we barely win. Every time and we played the worst fucking team we can find because I know that we picked the better team that would play we get our asses kicked. And every time he plays by himself, he plays against like the. He puts it on the easy, easy act like easy mode yeah, and he's like dad.
Speaker 3:Look what I just did dad, look what I just did. Look at like he's screaming yeah, and then he can rub three players with hat tricks yeah, and every player on the other team gets red cards. So he's basically playing against six people when he's got 11. So, yeah, no it's.
Speaker 1:He's playing Eastern Kentucky freshman team.
Speaker 3:And we go back to exactly the same thing you're talking about. It's instant gratification. Why is he playing like that? Because if he plays at a harder level, he knows it's going to take effort. He knows he probably can't win. Yeah, he might not win harder level.
Speaker 3:He knows it's going to take effort and he knows he probably can't, he might not win and he probably won't win and he doesn't want to not win, so he plays at the and it's just like that's the day and age it is with, fucking well hopefully your kid can find a haircut, a set of shoes that he enjoys, that his friends don't the people he thinks his friends don't, he can't the people he thinks his friends don't pick on him for he can't.
Speaker 1:So one last thing, going back to what jay was talking about when you play against your kids in anything, do you let them win?
Speaker 2:I've never lost. I'm the best. What is it?
Speaker 3:four in a row or what is that cross?
Speaker 2:what is it called the?
Speaker 3:well, you dropped it. No, you dropped the fucking. That too.
Speaker 2:Connect, connect for tetris, I've never lost in tetris ever in my life yeah, according to my kid Chess checkers, you play chess with your Super Mario Kart. You play chess with her.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she knows how to play chess. She likes it. Yeah, she thought she was really good until she met her dad. It doesn't matter how she's like.
Speaker 2:Dad, can I teach you how to play? I'm like, yeah, sure.
Speaker 3:Show me how this thing works. She knows.
Speaker 2:Womp, womp, kings G2 to G4.
Speaker 1:Boom, banana peeling her ass every chance you get. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3:All that matters is she knows how to play chess. That's hard enough. She's only eight, right yeah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's, she just picked up skateboarding, jay.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'll teach her to skateboard.
Speaker 2:Let's skateboard.
Speaker 3:for like 20 years you teach my kid to skateboard I might consider teaching your kid how to ride a bike, which the 17 year old or the either one that needs to know what are you saying, tony, no, I'm assuming.
Speaker 1:I'm assuming, with your soft parenting, that you do let your kids win.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, I was gonna. I was trying not to answer that question.
Speaker 2:Uh, yeah, I do I mean, my kid does win some games, but not the ones that are like ones that I'm good at or I'll kind of like I'll kind of like make them a little hard at first, but you know, I'll let them a little win.
Speaker 3:I just I, yeah, I'm a pleaser contributing to their gratification yes, yeah, you're right, that's bad. We just had the whole discussion about this.
Speaker 2:Kids can't win kids can't win, dude, they have to always be wrong. You have to always be teaching.
Speaker 3:I just don't want to listen to them scream and run, scream, run around the house and throw and shit.
Speaker 2:I think that happened a couple times and then that stopped. Yeah, yeah, you just say, don't do that anymore on the house and throwing shit. I think that happened a couple times. That's easy to put a stop to, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just say, don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2:All right, it would be funny, because that was one of the other things I was going to say is I was going to say it kind of as an asshole thing is like make being able to yell at other people's kids great again. Like I remember when I was a kid, like it was okay that my dad was yelling at some other kid who was in the aisle, like screaming, like a little temper tantrum, shit, and he'd be like you do that.
Speaker 2:No, you get the hell off the ground, like you're making this distraught, you're making this terrible for me, and then the other dad would be like see, timmy, you're a piece of shit and other people are noticing too get off the ground and then, like timmy would know, like, not only is my dad not like this, other dads in society don't like this, but now you can't tell another kid like, hey, kid, get out of the way, stop riding a cart, like that, that's not what it's for, because the parent will be like let my kid do what he wants to do. Who are you to tell my kid what to do? And you want to be like I'm telling your kid, because if I tell you we're gonna end up in a fist fight and the cops are gonna be called, but if I tell your kid, at least he'll grow up to know that that shit's not acceptable in public.
Speaker 2:It it's like this everyone's so accepting of everything and that shit causes weakness and lack of accountability. Agreed, there's a place for shit.
Speaker 1:All these weak bitch kids running around.
Speaker 2:There's a place for shit. There's a place for weak bitch kids too, but it's just like yeah, it takes a generation to clear that generation.
Speaker 3:So, this generation is not going away. It's always going to be there. So the generation behind that Nah the internet.
Speaker 2:We're fucked dude.
Speaker 3:We're fucked.
Speaker 2:We're fucked, it's never going to be cleared. We're fucked. You can only care about your own, bro. We're at the point where it's like eat or be eaten. You got to make sure, your fucking little tribe, I don't know. I fear that we've gone past the community of the whole and have to create littler communities, to kind of like build an uprising to get it all back but I'm only you know.
Speaker 2:I don't know. Maybe it was like, that's probably what our fucking parents said about us too, though, you know, and that was 40 years ago- this is, uh, this is a thing that I'm sure you got to hear about, since your wife is a public school teacher.
Speaker 1:Oh, I get the much worse stories. I don't even want to repeat much like a couple, a couple people I know also that are public school teachers. Um, they're not even allowed to say shit to their students anymore. They're like, we get flooded with emails from parents going. Why did you tell my kid he can't do this? What is this? Why is this? Uh, you know, getting bad grades and having the parents go. Why didn't you give a good grade my wife gets.
Speaker 2:She's bucking the trend on that shit as a teacher. She's had some parents come in and said, like Timmy was naughty this morning, he doesn't get to go to recess and my wife will stay straight up. What happened at home? You can punish him at home and maybe you can make him not be able to play video games in the evening but at school. If he acts fine here he can go to recess. If he acts fine after recess he can go home without a bad report from me. But I'm not going to punish your kid because that's what happens. These parents want to have the kid punished at school. Don't let Timmy go to free lunch or whatever Recess. You can't participate in the school play. It's like no, just because your shit at home is all fucked. Timmy's great at school.
Speaker 2:Really Do parents do that. Yeah, timmy's great at school. I feel like his punishment from home shall not carry into school because he's good here, I feel like, because kids. They know. They know when they can be good or not.
Speaker 3:A lot of them it's all a fucking feel like if a parent or if a teacher uh did that to a child, that the parent would be like pissed off, isn't daycare?
Speaker 2:that's something that and I'm proud of my wife, she doesn't. She's like. This isn't. This is different. This is not at home. This you said, this is the school.
Speaker 1:This is not, which I'm surprised because the school district she teaches in uh isn't known for parents caring about their children.
Speaker 2:I no, I'm not saying the parents are caring the parent I don't know what that means exactly, but the parents, the parents don't want to take responsibility generalizing the parents don't want to take responsibility for punishing their own kids.
Speaker 3:They want to carry that into the responsibility of the school system, like you know, what's fucked up is when the kid comes home he's like I don don't know how to do my homework. I'm like fuck, ask your fucking teacher why am.
Speaker 2:I going to help you out of doing this shit.
Speaker 3:I don't know how to fucking do Algebra 1.
Speaker 2:Fuck off with that shit. I'm learning up that shit now, too. I'm learning my multiplication tables all over, because my kid is a fucking math whiz, although my child is doing square footage right now, you know that shit by the back of your hand.
Speaker 3:I do, but I still don't want to help him with it, because it fucking makes me feel like I'm working.
Speaker 1:You're like, I don't know how to show my work.
Speaker 3:I'm like how much do I need to charge? How much?
Speaker 2:You want to know how much? To charge Six bucks a square.
Speaker 3:He's like how do we do the square footage? How do we do the square footage? How do we do the square footage of this? Like, how much does a square footage of my paying? Oh fuck, this is school. It's ridiculous. No.
Speaker 1:I don't.
Speaker 3:You're giving them numbers with 25% overages.
Speaker 1:Wait, how much percent do we have to get over to make sure we have enough and then show your work column You're like because tiles come in broken every once in a while.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know you always got to show the fucking work.
Speaker 3:You always got to explain why you came up with that number.
Speaker 2:Yeah, four times 10. Well, tile comes in boxes of 12, so 48. It's ridiculous. Yeah, parents out there, man, if you're listening, fuck it. Don't let your kids be a piece of shit. That's it, I agree. That's my announcement.
Speaker 1:Be, accountable.
Speaker 2:Don't let your kids be a piece of shit. Save the world. Save the world from bullies. Save the world by teaching your kid to not be a piece of shit.
Speaker 3:So, tony, I appreciate your bringing up the children because you know we all have them. So what is your ending?
Speaker 1:I don't know, man, I think I'm going to get new ones.
Speaker 2:Start over Move to a new state Start over, maybe a. European country or something I know where I made my mistakes. You got 20 mil now you can go anywhere.
Speaker 3:So what if a kid is too much rebellious? What if they don't even listen? If they don't listen, from when they're one, you're saying you learned your lesson, you raised them wrong.
Speaker 1:You take them into a country.
Speaker 3:And you beat them with canes.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, you don't beat your own kids.
Speaker 3:I mean, that's what you do.
Speaker 1:You take them to a country where all the roads are made out of dirt and you just go sightseeing through the villages and watching the other kids get beat in the streets.
Speaker 2:No iPads.
Speaker 3:No Nintendos, no Nikes, no cool clothes.
Speaker 1:Play with rocks and sticks. The only Nikes they have on is because they made them that day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, See, my kid sees the other side. So yeah, I'm in the grime, like maybe you got to get your kid into the grime a little bit. He's out there in the lake countries getting.
Speaker 1:Out in the suburbs You're saying I got to move him into Stalis.
Speaker 2:You got to move him into some diversity, some how the other half lives. Yeah yeah, he's getting a little. He's getting a little soft. Maybe, Takes his shoes, if he matters, if he thinks what shoes he has on matters more than the fact that he has shoes. I'm fucking up right, gotta show him. Your theory of bringing him to the third world country makes a little sense yeah, no, I think you're right, I did drive him past my childhood house. Yeah, like look at where dad not not, not.
Speaker 1:Not like the house I was born in, but like the house I lived my teenage years in. And he looked at he goes who would want to live here? It was great at the time. The only thing I had to tell him is nobody.
Speaker 2:This is why I work so hard yeah, no, I think the kids are on. They're like naive you know they don't know the world. Mistakes will be made, assumptions will be made like their life is terrible when they it's really fucking glorious.
Speaker 1:There's a point where they where you learn, where you see so how do you, with all your wisdom and knowledge, how do you, how do you relate to a child that what a random kid at his school thinks about his haircut or his shirt doesn't matter?
Speaker 2:you probably gotta degrade them more at home. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Man, with time I guess it's a phase your kid's in that phase where everything's goofy and weird because he's like in his teens right Beginning teens. Yeah he's about to be 12 in a couple weeks. Yeah, so he's getting into that. Should I like? Nah, he'll grow out of it bro.
Speaker 1:You think so? Yeah, yeah, because I was thinking about starting.
Speaker 2:He needs to get a lady thing going. Probably pretty soon he's going to be I guess that's still a couple years off probably, oh, he's going to grow out of it, I think, though.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I was thinking about just starting to verbally chop down his mom in front of him all the time. That's a tactic and just let him see how it just rolls off of her back.
Speaker 2:It's a tactic, but I don't think that's it. No, I mean, I don't need two people in counseling.
Speaker 3:Just make it physical, push her down the stairs a little bit, you know. Let her see how strong you are, I think he'll grow out of it.
Speaker 2:That's a teen thing where everything you got to be cool, you got to fit in, you know that kind of crap. But fucking braids, dude the braids, you can say no. Like I remember when I was uh, in that phase I wanted to dye my hair and my dad was like well, no like 21 no fucking way. You dyed your hair and then it was like, fine, you can dye shit on your hair, but I wanted to go black. At the time, I was black and my mom was like nope, you're not going black.
Speaker 1:I know your dad. He doesn't like anything black I wouldn't.
Speaker 2:I don't know about that. I don't know what that was. That's false. I don't even know maybe his granddad, but uh, the the thing about it with kids is that they think they need to be cool and eventually they come to realize that nobody's fucking cool.
Speaker 1:Being yourself is cool except a one kid with braids maybe, dude, maybe he'll start a trend.
Speaker 3:I don't know, maybe it'll fit his noggin well, give him some respect about starting, but I think you know what?
Speaker 2:I think the braids thing will learn him the lesson, because that'll be like what now the fourth or fifth transition or transfer of like I got to do this, I got to do this, and the braids thing will suck a lot and not be effective Like new shoes. Okay, whatever, Just change shoes.
Speaker 2:I just can't believe that you Go from short cut to long, long cut. Not so much of a big deal, but putting the braids in is going to be a big fucking pain in the ass and it's not going to be something he's gonna be able to take out right away and it's not gonna work oh, dude, I'm so excited about watching him sit in this chair.
Speaker 3:I can't believe that tony, I can't believe that you would consider braids over just dying hair, but but I know he didn't ask for dying hair.
Speaker 1:So I'm assuming no for dying hair. I'm assuming at this point with how much you're bringing up dying hair?
Speaker 3:that one of your children has dyed hair currently?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, okay, no, you're just obsessively bringing it up.
Speaker 3:Because it's just, it's the color hair. I mean okay, because it's just, it's the color hair. I mean, what the okay? My kid died is our uh uh the end of last year dyed his hair blue, but it was a semi-permanent, but it lasted all summer and he kept asking me every fucking day, when is the blue gonna wash out? When is it gonna? When is it gonna go back to the blonde? How do you get it blonde again? Did you gotta stay in the sun longer? Dad, like jesus christ, don't fucking dye your hair ever again. Then I don't fucking know. He's semi-permanent, this shit, it's semi the.
Speaker 3:The seven-year-old did it himself he went to the store by himself too and grabbed his own. No, yeah, all the kids were doing it and he did it and he regretted it. I let him regret it and he's never gonna dye his hair again. I guarantee that, cause he fucking hated it. Is it still like?
Speaker 3:a little blue no, no, it's totally gone. No, it's totally gone. This was at the end of school, school year, so all summer, and from now. So, yeah, yeah, I caught it and it's all gone. But again, you have to let them make those mistakes. So again, like you saying about the braids, yeah, let him make that mistake. He won't do it again. Fully plan on it. He won't do it again.
Speaker 3:So this is what we have to do and and this is the conclusion of the show, I think is let kids what Do? What the fuck you say.
Speaker 1:I think that was the clear message of this. No, make their own mistakes.
Speaker 3:Let them make their own mistakes, but also guide them in the you know.
Speaker 1:You can't let them make huge mistakes. Okay, guide them.
Speaker 3:The closing statement is parents.
Speaker 2:I said guide them in some ways, the closing statement is parents, don't let your kids be pieces of shit.
Speaker 3:Oh, I agree with that. I agree with that. But you have to let them make their own mistakes, Otherwise you don't learn unless you make a mistake.
Speaker 1:I based my whole life around that.
Speaker 2:I mean I don't think kids are hearing enough. I took you into this world and I can take you out. I don't think kids hearing are enough of that. That's just crazy. Government should let us beat our kids again, or at least threaten to beat them. Threaten, not actually do it.
Speaker 3:What about teachers? Letting teachers beat the kids again? They should have more power yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:None of the kids ever get sent home from school. You don't get sent home unsuspended, depends what they do.
Speaker 3:I don't think kids are that crazy anymore, just kidding I know that's.
Speaker 1:I mean false. Two kids got suspended. Well, one. One kid in chase's grade got expelled. Sounds like a suburb what do you do?
Speaker 2:what do you do under the table? I can't even I can't go to school.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't even say on this show what this kid did. Yes, you can tell us. Tell us, no one knows who the kid is.
Speaker 2:Fucking tell us, I won't lead us out of this fucking shithole.
Speaker 1:Thanks, for joining us. It was a fucking blast. Just you know, take care of your kids, alright. Thanks for joining us. It was a fucking blast. Just you know, take care of your kids Like your kid is not the best kid in the world and you gotta let him know that. No-transcript.
