Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Unplugging and Connecting in Nature
Building memories through shared experiences leads to powerful connections between fathers and their children. We discuss fishing trips filled with lessons on persistence and accomplishment, coaching soccer, and the fulfilling moments that come from being involved in their endeavors.
• The joys of fishing: milestones and achievements
• Setting personal goals in fishing
• Celebrating independence: teaching kids to bait and catch
• Importance of conversations during outdoor activities
• Lessons learned through coaching soccer
• Reflections on meaningful summer activities
• Creating lasting memories as fathers
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2:Today we're going to talk about proud dad moments. So summer's coming to an end, there has to be something that you shared with your kid for this summer, like there's got to be something that you're into with your children. For us, this actually last summer and this summer it's been fishing. So I rent a little boat dock, I have my boat parked on the water ready to go with no notice and, uh, at least three days a week this whole summer I took my kids fishing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I heard that, you saw it Just me and the two kids. I heard you took your eldest kid out too. His name's Dan.
Speaker 2:Dan, my new son, which is my brother, and he stole my brother. Dude, I'll take anybody who wants to go out fishing fishing with me. Tony steals all of my shit.
Speaker 3:Stole Chris, yeah, stole my brother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, starting to steal my brother.
Speaker 1:I'm more likable he didn't really steal me. All I was was a substitute.
Speaker 3:Fill in in the midfield on your d league beer league soccer team on thursday nights it was funny too, that when chris first came to the, he was so like if I started talking he'd be quiet, or if Tony started talking he'd be. Okay, He'd let you talk, but now he will not let you fucking talk. That's not true at all, I'm the one who doesn't let anybody talk. If he's saying something, he has to get it done and he'll punch you.
Speaker 1:I've always been like that, even in the three dime stays At. I've always been like that, I know, even in the three dime stays At the end of it.
Speaker 2:yeah, so, anyway, go ahead. My 11-year-old son, it wasn't like last year with him this year, last year it was just let's go fishing, we'll catch whatever, we'll fish wherever you want. This year he set goals for himself.
Speaker 3:Particular fish, particular Yep. You want we'll do this year. He set goals for himself particular fish, particular yep. Well, you're in a fucking lake, you have three fish. So this year, fuck, I caught a turtle I mean, is there that one of the comp?
Speaker 2:sorry, I'm I caught a huge turtle this year I'm being rude now two times caught the same turtle twice like a 20 pound snapping turtle it was crazy.
Speaker 1:I got it on video it was the same one.
Speaker 2:I caught it 15 minutes apart on the same bait in the same area and got them both on shore. Tony tags snapping turtles he's like where are you tagged? I had to punch it to get my my uh hook out of its mouth, so it had a black eye. So when I brought it back in, or no you know, I had to give it another black that's how tori tori disables him or knocks him out, he punches him in the fucking.
Speaker 3:Fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 2:Okay, but so my son's first goal this spring was he was going to catch a fish using a lure instead of live bait. Stop touching the cord. It's not in the right place. Stop touching the cord and it's making me crazy.
Speaker 2:Grab it by the thicker part it's probably so fucking fake laugh he decided he was catching a fish on a lure this year. And the thing is is he he's never fished with lures, so he doesn't understand that some of them you gotta you gotta reel in very fast, some gotta go real slow, some gotta go with a certain motion, you gotta play the action right yeah, so it's a whole ordeal. Like you gotta live is harder live is super hard. Live is as easy as it gets, not if you're trying to catch lures lures are very, very difficult.
Speaker 3:You gotta pull that live bait away from the smaller ones, so the bigger ones, come in and grab it that's the only way you can do it and that's how I know because, because you got your gopro tied to the bottom of your bobber. Looking at the bait yes, it's a small gopro, super small like one of those.
Speaker 2:I made it into a submarine. You got one of those tvs with a tent around it that goes over your head.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're fucking working the jig, but under, under the water, instead of a fucking aerial one. You're talking about that. I can look at where yeah, it's a submarine gopro.
Speaker 2:So we fished for quite a few weeks. Me and the five-year-old are still using bobbers and whatnot, because I I have to, you know I got a five-year-old I like I can't just not pay him attention on the boat because he needs the most attention. But this year he made some goals of his own. That his goal was he was going to be able to bait his own hooks and take his own fish off the line good, good which which he does both of those now, were these his goals or the ones that you know they were his goals to?
Speaker 2:have not at all. I have no problem. So this is a pastime that all three of us thoroughly enjoy, so I don't mind helping them with whatever they need. Anything that keeps them off a tablet is fucking fine by me oh, you just stole.
Speaker 1:What I was gonna say I shared with my daughter was tablet time you ever see that fucking fishy game?
Speaker 3:you're not kidding though.
Speaker 1:That shit is fucking invasive as hell.
Speaker 2:The sidebar but yeah, yeah. So after about three weeks of going out three times a week, he catches his first lure fish. Nice, and by the back nope, nope, he caught. He caught a nice little bass brought it in. He's screaming get the net, get the net.
Speaker 3:The thing's like 13 inches.
Speaker 2:I'm like you got 20-pound test, bro, Just fucking lift it up.
Speaker 1:But I didn't want to take away from his experience of it.
Speaker 2:So I net this thing in with my big musky net, get it on the boat. He's holding it up, he's making me we're on the boat and he's making me send pictures of it to everybody he knows. Sure it's a really big deal has he caught a bass before?
Speaker 3:on on worms, yeah, this big yeah okay, he's.
Speaker 2:He's caught much bigger bass on worms than with this lure. But this was a special fish. Wait a second, wait a second. Say it again he's caught much bigger bass than the one he caught on the lure with worms. Live bait Right, live bait, live bait.
Speaker 3:Yeah that particular bass was not an impressive bass, compared to what he caught on over the accumulation.
Speaker 2:The last five years.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, just answer the question live bait right?
Speaker 2:no, I get it. I get it. You don't know how to use lures either, so your goal this year was to catch your first lure fish.
Speaker 3:Your brothers told me all about this trust me, whatever my brother says, he's fucking wrong. No, it's so wrong I believe.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure I believe him let's give him a call when he starts with my brother's an embarrassment to my family.
Speaker 3:I know he's gonna spit truth wait, wait dan says that yeah, okay and then he says oh hey, what's up, tony?
Speaker 1:so uh.
Speaker 2:After he caught this fish, he decided on the boat. At that particular moment he was leveling up I'm leveling up he said. He said I'm not going after bass anymore. I have now mastered the art of lure fishing for bass.
Speaker 1:Interesting One catch after probably 10,000 casts.
Speaker 2:Not even a legal keeping. He's like.
Speaker 1:I'm in. He wanted musky. I am a pro.
Speaker 2:He said I am catching a northern this year oh, I like musky okay so northerns can be tricky, right, because they're they're aggressive, predator fish that will eat anything that they think is alive. But my son has not mastered he has not mastered the art of making a lure look alive yet. So it was rough. It was weeks and weeks and weeks of him doing nothing but throwing northern specific lures. And I'm fishing alongside him Fucking fish, hand over fist. I'm fishing next to him. I'm pulling in on average four northern a night and he's catching zero and he's on the boat. He's crying. He almost lost the pole. Every day we go back and he tells me how he's not a good fisherman and all this stuff and he's really down on himself.
Speaker 3:I kind of blame the teacher.
Speaker 2:And we go out and I'm like don't worry, chase, it's going to happen. You have to listen to me about how these things need to be reeled in. You can't jerk them over your shoulder. You can't do this shit that you're doing because you don't know how to do this yet. I'm like let's really take some time and figure out how to do this. So the next day we go back out and he catches I don't want to say huge, huge is not the word but he catches a great northern and it's the biggest northern that's been on the boat this year, nice.
Speaker 1:It was fucking phenomenal With the worm, though, because he gave up on that bullshit.
Speaker 2:Nope, still on the lure. I was trying Jay, I was trying Jay, I was trying for Jay, and it was probably dude. When it was on, he started screaming I'm on, I'm on, fish on, fish on. Get the net, get ready, get ready. Get your line in Logan, get your line in.
Speaker 3:He wants you to bring your lines in dude. Come on, you don't want to get. This was a really big deal.
Speaker 2:This was a really big deal. People were sitting at, you know, out on their decks at their houses and everybody's watching them fight this thing in and he gets it to the boat. I get it netted in. It's a boot. He fucking hold, he's, he's holding it.
Speaker 3:You know, northern got some pretty aggressive teeth how is he holding it with a grasp, like one of those grasp things he's grabbing it behind the gills, putting a hand under its belly, holding it up in the air.
Speaker 2:He is excited. He's jumping up and down on a boat, high five, and runs and hugs his little brother. He's like fucking screaming. He's like take pictures, take pictures. I, I take pictures. He's like send him to mom, send him to nana, send him to uncle joey, send him to uncle ricky, put him on facebook. He's screaming for for all this stuff. Never been more excited about anything. He's bleeding everywhere in his life. Nope, and and it was probably my proudest dad moment of my life, it was a really big deal. Like, yeah, I taught the kid how to ride a bike. That shit was easy, that was five minutes hard.
Speaker 2:That's really hard no it's the easiest thing you can do as a father to your child is teach them how to ride. Years of training and years of dedication you know, basically I didn't even have to do anything, I just told him there were training wheels on it. He fucking took off and I'm like by the way, there's no training wheels. You're good, super easy. It's fucking deadbeat. Dads on one weekend a month schedules could teach their kids how to ride a bike, just saying.
Speaker 2:but teaching a kid how to fucking land a big fat Northern, that's fucking priceless dude. It's going to stay with me forever. That's good storytelling. It's good it is. Now I'm going to show it to you guys.
Speaker 3:Why don't you?
Speaker 2:It's now the screensaver on my phone, because it was his first, Northern.
Speaker 3:Why didn't you fucking everything else you do? Why don't you?
Speaker 1:You let your kid have that kind of hair going though, bro.
Speaker 2:I don't make my kids hair decisions Because if it were up to me, my two kids and my wife would all be high and tight. High and tight. And my wife would all be high and tight. She's like me, high and tight, but so what'd?
Speaker 1:you guys do with your kids this summer?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great one man, what was the proud dad moment you had this year?
Speaker 3:For me. I don't think it's one specific thing like that.
Speaker 2:So I know you were telling me earlier. So did your kid achieve his goal of becoming towel boy on the soccer team?
Speaker 3:it's a water boy. Come on, you've seen the movie there's no towel and soccer juice bags basically this whole fucking summer.
Speaker 2:I just imagine a towel boy washing all the other players shoes, this.
Speaker 3:This whole summer I've become a coach for fucking soccer and football Flag football primarily because I won the championship On your flag football team. Well, I mean, what do you call mine? You're the coach.
Speaker 3:It's not really mine, I am the coach's. The kids are the ones that have the talent. Basically, all I have to do is to tell them you know, here's the routes, run the routes and if you do it right we'll win. You do it wrong, we'll lose. And defense you don't really do anything on defense. You're like, hey, play your zone, play your spot, get an interception, pull the flag. Whatever you do, I mean there's not much to coaching at this age. Really there's not.
Speaker 2:Well, that's actually really good, because you're probably the worst person I ever met at explaining stuff. 280 episodes, oh yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, I thought after the 200th episode I might get a little better, but I feel like I'm going downward and getting worse. It might be the drugs or the drinking, but one of the two, yes. They combine together and just make me barely legible.
Speaker 2:It's like all right, jay, I want you to tell this story, this episode. All right, you got to make it last about five minutes. Okay, hey, jay, what about that thing you did the end?
Speaker 3:those are my favorite stories. Right when you start it, you just fucking end it.
Speaker 2:I want to know the beginning and doing a thing, and then that happened, and then that was it okay, so I coach both football, flag football and soccer.
Speaker 3:And the soccer thing is what age range? For the soccer it's, uh, it's eight to ten year olds, and for football it's third, 12 to 14 year olds.
Speaker 2:So you're coaching a team for two of your three kids. Yeah solid.
Speaker 3:The. The eldest kid is almost 18 and, yeah, fucking kid can't even get out of his room.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's probably no masturbation league, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean that's all done in the shower.
Speaker 2:Let me show you about twist turn method. Run this route, you'll never Twist turn.
Speaker 3:Explain twist. Okay, now that's another separate episode, so I'm coached for both of them. The coaching is going great. I have two practices for soccer a week playing twitter. Okay, now that's another separate episode, so I'm coached for both of them. Um, the coaching is going great. I have two practices for soccer a week. Do you wear all your puma gear?
Speaker 2:or do you wear?
Speaker 3:you gotta come you gotta come in prepared, you gotta go in there like you are a coach.
Speaker 1:So you better be able to run the route if you're gonna tell them to run the route.
Speaker 2:Are your team colors red on both of them, because almost almost all your clothes are red.
Speaker 3:I have the soccer team is yellow and black and the football team now this year well, actually, okay, the one before was black. Yeah, it's weird, it's all black. And then now the new flag football team is purple and yellow. So it's not very much and, yeah, I am disappointed that nothing's red.
Speaker 2:Nothing is red Shit. I got to wait for Puma to come out with their fall colors now.
Speaker 3:I got to stay with this throughout the wintertime to get to my red color bearings, where I can actually approve fucking love and stuff. No, so the coaching is great. I mean there's a huge difference between coaching kids that are 8 to coaching kids that are 12 to 13. Like eight-year-olds, they run around, don't listen. You're trying to get all of them together, talk to them to get a game plan going and they're all talking to each other, looking at butterflies, playing with shit on the ground, squirting water in each other's faces. And then you get to the 12, 13-year year olds and they're like we don't want to get our asses whooped, please tell me something.
Speaker 3:Their attention is right with you and it's like I'm not used to it, because I'm used to yelling at the kids to shut up to listen like, shut up, listen everybody in your house ignoring you or on the podcast where I can't even fucking talk before getting yelled at by tony.
Speaker 3:Mostly, no, but I'm used to the kids the younger kids not listening and then when I get to the lower kids listening, then I start sounding stupid because I'm like shit. I really have to start telling them what to do. Or sounding somewhat I somewhat I can't fake this anymore.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I can't sound dumb anymore. I have to have structure in my sentences for them to understand what I'm saying about routes and routes and whatever the fuck I'm talking about. But the younger kids it's just like you know. When I finally get them to shut up, all I got to say is get out there and fucking play. That's it. You know, it's done. Basically, the whole training is just getting shut up and listen for for two seconds. Um, but no, we, uh for the soccer team. We, we, we, we. We got second place in the uh, the fucking championship thingy.
Speaker 2:And then football. We got that, we won everything. And then we got the big, fucking stupid trophy thing, which is probably like I mean, he was fucking as tall as my kid, so what? So would you say confidently that these kids couldn't have got this trophy?
Speaker 3:without you? No, I think they could have got without me. Yeah, definitely I have. No, I trust me, I'm not, uh, I'm not a coach, were you like? This trophy is basically mine because you guys suck and it wasn't for me, I conjugate the kids together, I get them together to play the sport and talk to the parents and get scheduling down. Basically, after that, I'm just there to you know, root the kids on like I'm a fucking cheerleader.
Speaker 2:I'm not, I'm not parents have a problem with you yelling at their children mother, fuck I.
Speaker 3:Do you think I yell at the kids?
Speaker 3:I would you think I step over boundaries? You think I try no, there's nothing I do so not to get yelled at by their parents. I, I'm nice as shit to the kids. They do something, something wrong, I high five them. You're going to get better next time, kid. Great, there's no way I would yell at a kid. If anything, it wouldn't be yelling, it'd just be like hey, you know what. You should probably do a little better next time. You should try catching the ball with two hands Soft coaching.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm a soft, I'm a softie. I'm not going to yell at the kids, just screaming Are you fucking high. The fuck is wrong with you.
Speaker 1:Can't you catch. So the flag football league is like city by city or all new Berlin kids City, it's all. No, it it's Nine versus nine or what.
Speaker 2:I mean, if they got second, they obviously didn't have to go into the inner city and play.
Speaker 3:No we got first in the flag, second in the soccer. Yeah, no, it's all around cities, all around Wisconsin, mostly our area. Wisconsin Like nothing northern.
Speaker 1:It's all men or all boys I mean.
Speaker 3:No, there's girls.
Speaker 1:Mostly boys, though.
Speaker 3:Mostly boys, but there are girls and I mean proud dad moment with that would be just winning that with the kid. That's fun to be a part of it instead of being in the crowd watching them win.
Speaker 2:Did your kid get any field goals? Or whatever they do in soccer?
Speaker 3:Yeah, my kid. He's one of the smaller kids but he's fast as fuck. So, yes, he gets a lot of touchdowns because he runs behind everyone and gets out in the open. The dude has to just chuck it up. Our quarterback's a great quarterback, by the way Chucks it up and he's wide open in the end zone because no one even sees him coming.
Speaker 2:It's like a little squirrel going for a nut. He's. They don't have peripheral vision yet. Yeah, and your kid's just literally under the radar he's so fast, dude so fast um. So did you pursue these coaching positions?
Speaker 3:no, I never wanted to do the football thing. I just wanted to stick to the soccer thing because that's what I did with the older kid too, and I was doing it for like eight years. But I did it because I didn't want to not be a part of my middle kids doing something with him, because I did all the kids coaching except for him. So I did the flag for him and then we won, and then I did it one more time. I said one more time, that's it, I'm done. But he, he likes to tackle football in school. So you can't, you know, you can't coach that plus dude.
Speaker 2:Literally they do it every day so do you get to bet on the games?
Speaker 1:with the other parents.
Speaker 2:Is this frowned upon?
Speaker 3:that would be great to do with some betting, especially last year when our team, literally we had three Okay, this is not a joke. There's a point differential in games, any type of sport you're playing. We had a 300 in. I don't know what it was. It was over 300 point differential between every team, so meaning we scored more than 300 points than any other team. Yeah, so when we went to this, the playoff, the last game, we knew like our team was just so good, I don't know, the kids were bigger, we had the fastest kids, we had the most talented kids. We knew we were going to win anyway and it was literally like every game was. It was, I wouldn't say, boring.
Speaker 2:New Berlin has the money to draft the good kids. I'm going to say it was the coaching.
Speaker 1:I've heard enough to say it was the coaching.
Speaker 3:I did make all my plays. Now I don't want to brag, but I did make all my plays. But it doesn't matter, the kids were the ones that did it. The coaching was just like. I think any coach could have came into my team that team that I had and won it all Easily Probably not me, no, you definitely could have. You're a good leader, especially with things, and you strive for betterness. If you do something wrong, I feel like you would do twice as much as you could the next. If you do something wrong, I feel like you would do twice as much as you could the next time to do something better, I would make myself run laps.
Speaker 3:Don't even be like alright, guys, you dropped the ball, I'm running. No, but I think that was the only thing I could say. This summer was kind of entertaining with the kids and accomplishment it wasn't great. I have to defer to the iPad again.
Speaker 1:This summer was kind of entertaining with the kids and accomplishment. Yeah, it wasn't great. I have to defer to the iPad again. I do shit with my kid. I mean we had a great summer. We did a whole bunch of shit. Uh, she's really into gymnastics. We've got our mat and a bar in our basement and like uh, uh, balance beam thing and one of the things that she's. She made the volleyball or the gymnastics team this year, so she's been doing two hours twice a week. How old is she? Again? She'll be nine soon, so team so I mean for like accomplishment.
Speaker 1:It's a private.
Speaker 2:Like how many backflips can she do in a row?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one of the things she did was like a back. I don't even know what the name of it. My wife was in gymnastics and she's like I can't believe this kid's doing this shit. And then same thing development on the bar as far as accomplishments. But yeah, I mean, it's hard to pass your story, tony, that was good that was it. I want everyone just to rewind and listen to the first 15 minutes of where this kid's determination resulted in ultimate joy.
Speaker 3:You know what it's about.
Speaker 1:Tony, joy and pride.
Speaker 3:It's about Tony's explanation. Tony's a great storyteller. Everyone knows Tony's a great storyteller and he's the heart and soul of stories for this, you know top shelf stories. Not only did he come up with the name, he's story driven. We are the. Well, I mean, chris is probably a little better than me, I'm just here so I don't get fined.
Speaker 1:That's my line for most. I'm here just to you know, reminisce, no I mean listen to stories but yeah, being a dad has been the top drive. I mean that it's the most ultimate thing and, uh, watching your kid grow up. I mean yesterday. One of the things we did is I nearly killed my kid yesterday On purpose. Almost no, it was a complete accident.
Speaker 3:Well, we got to hear that story.
Speaker 1:She does this thing because she's so gymnastical and whatever flexible, high energy, all this other stuff and she'll do this thing where she holds my hand and she jumps up and grabs her legs around my waist and then puts her arms around my neck and then she's hanging on me right and all the time she does it I'm like we shouldn't be doing this, because one of these fucking times you're gonna fall, and that was the time was yesterday basically you fall down at her neck or something well, basically so she, she jumped up and I hold her hands and she jumps and then she puts her legs around my waist kind of like a monkey you would imagine grabbing onto a tree or whatever, or their mom or dad, and then she puts her arms around my neck and then she's hanging on me, but this time, instead of grabbing my neck, she didn't quite grab, or I let go too early, or whatever, and it took nanoseconds but it felt like hours, as my kid was falling and I just couldn't grab her enough to stop her, to slow her down enough.
Speaker 2:That's when you shove your foot out in front of you.
Speaker 1:Well, it was right in the kitchen what it was right in the kitchen. Well, her legs are still kind of strapped around my legs and she's falling downwards and I kind of had her, but yeah, she smacks the ground and I was like, oh my God, I just cracked the back of my head. I thought it was only her head, of course. I was like oh directly onto her head, directly onto a rock, directly onto like.
Speaker 3:I imagined the worst Was she screaming crying.
Speaker 1:But no, she, it was actually kind of okay, but she was in shell shock. But no she, it was actually kind of okay, but she was in shell shock. It was like pretty ridiculous, she fell. I'm nearly six or five, 10, 11 feet tall.
Speaker 2:You love six four on.
Speaker 1:Tinder and she she's out of my grasp at what I felt like was an accelerating pace here, you know. But yeah, she landed mostly on her back actually, thank God Cause it wasn't her fucking noggin, but I sat her down and we're doing like. We took her into the booth, like at the football games, to make sure she didn't have a concussion. Yeah, yeah, checked her eyes and all this other shit.
Speaker 3:She didn't. She didn't cry or nothing not really.
Speaker 1:Uh and yeah a little, but more than like just scared, like she was fucking scary dude, like she was, she smacked her noggin. She would have smacked her fucking noggin, bad right yeah and uh, yeah, I felt like a fucking piece of dirt for like almost you know hours because I felt like I failed. Right, because you're supposed to protect your child and all this shit.
Speaker 2:No, you know you definitely did. But yeah, I totally did, I did. I'm never gonna let it down. No, we'll just be real about it.
Speaker 1:It should have been fine she pulled through, but I bet you don't make that mistake, you know. Let those arms go out first now. Yeah, you know shit right.
Speaker 3:Some people just learn from mistakes, and tony always says what tony said just put your foot out there, cause it did fall yesterday when it all happened.
Speaker 1:It was just such a nonchalant moment and it did kind of open your eyes, my eyes and I should say to like how quickly one left turn didn't stop at the yellow, all that kind of shit. You're like Whoa, whoa, fragile, life is flat fragile.
Speaker 2:My, uh, my five-year-old really fucked himself up last weekend. Oh boy Hanging from the chandelier? No, so he runs. He runs from the kitchen table area and runs and jumps over the arm of our couch and runs across the couch and then jumps onto the coffee table. He does it all the fucking time. I can't get him to stop doing it.
Speaker 3:I try coffee table have sharp ends and shit yeah, oh yeah, it's solid press wood I've tried everything.
Speaker 2:I put a hung cookie sheets over the edge, hoping the loud noise would scare him. Nothing works with this kid and my wife yells at him every time he does it and I just tell her I'm like he's gonna learn sometime. I'm like yo just let him fucking do it. He's gonna fuck himself up. I'm like. But he needs it. He has to. It's the only way I've said this, like you fucking yelling does nothing, it doesn't change his mind about it, it doesn't talk him out of it. That's fucking not true?
Speaker 3:no, it is like 91 there's a.
Speaker 1:There's a point. Yeah, you can say no. Or to the horse drink, drink, drink. But they got to drink the fucking water, dude.
Speaker 3:No, that's not true. My kid hurts himself, does the same fucking thing two seconds later.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a Darwinism type problem it's genetic.
Speaker 2:This is why he's excelling in football. A soccer player, he just in football.
Speaker 1:Soccer player. He just keeps going, soccer player.
Speaker 2:But so we've been having a couple like adult weekends as of recently, and I took my wife out of town for dinner on Friday and when we got home, on Saturday Well, you don't leave them home alone well, that's their fucking fault. They should be older now. Who watches them really?
Speaker 2:uh, my wife's dad don't leave them alone with your wife's dad we get home and he's like he finally ate it and I'm like, oh, what happened? He's like, well, he went to it. And I'm like, oh, what happened? And he's like, well, he went to jump from the couch to the coffee table and he slipped while he was jumping and he caught the coffee table to the ribs Oof Cracked rib. And she's like he said he was coming at it quick and I'm like, oh, how bad's the bruising. Like, how fucked up is he? He goes. I don't know, I didn't see anything. He's like, you know, these kids are so rubbery, they're just fucking fine. He's like, but he cried for like two hours and that kid doesn't cry.
Speaker 1:He's got a broken rib. Well, he knows that mom and dad told him that he's gonna get hurt and now it happened when they weren't even there.
Speaker 2:So he can't even pretend like it didn't happen, because someone else is gonna say it happened so before I dumped him off on the sitter on sunday or saturday night for sunday I took him to a different sitter because we had other shit to do um, I'm fucking getting him changed and he's standing there in his underwear and I look at his fucking leg. His whole leg is fucking bruised, from his knee to his pelvis, just fucking. That's what he caught. And I'm like, oh, what happened to your leg? And he was like I hit the table. And I'm like, oh, you don't say. I'm like, how'd that happen? I'm like doesn't your mom tell you not to do it all the time? And he goes. He's like in five-year-old terms. He's like, yeah, now I see why she tells me not to do that like guarantee.
Speaker 2:He's like oh, mom was right when did?
Speaker 3:that hurt real bad saturday. Okay, so give it in a week. You're gonna do, he's gonna do it again. Yeah, probably not. Oh, I guarantee.
Speaker 2:Okay, no, mark that, mark it my kids learn from their real mistakes marked it.
Speaker 3:So guess what?
Speaker 2:let me know in a week you know I learned this about parenting from from my brother, who had kids long before I did older brother or younger brother, the middle brother, rick, didn't your younger brother have kids before you too? No, okay, anyway. Um, to go back from a story from a previous podcast recorded today, uh, I was telling you, the day we were we had our first baby was one of the his worst days of his life yeah yeah, uh, his, his kid is exactly nine months younger than our kid, so if you can, he figured out his wife or girlfriend at the time was pregnant
Speaker 3:okay, okay, yep, that was the day. Fuck, I'm stupid because I couldn't figure it out.
Speaker 2:Thanks, but uh he had, uh, their house. He lived in a old converted duplex in, uh in the city and, uh, it was an attic converted into a duplex in one of these old milwaukee south side bungalows and, uh, there were, there was no venting to this attic and they weren't going to rip all the walls up to get vents up there. So they put this, uh, this really kind of big box furnace it's about the size of this shelf right here turned on its side and uh, uh, it just got hot and it had a vent out the top and, uh, it just blew the air out of the vent and that thing, that thing got glowing red.
Speaker 2:I believe it I mean that that thing got fucking hot like use. You couldn't stand a foot away from it and I'm always like damn dude, you got these fucking babies in this house. You don't put a gate around it. He's like dude, he goes.
Speaker 2:They only touch it once I mean, I guess, he goes if I put gates around it, he's like it's not gonna do shit. They're gonna get around the gates and it's gonna become a thing. If it's just there and it's hot and they touch it and they feel how hot it is, he's like they ain't gonna fucking touch it again. He's like all the kids touched it once in their life and that's it. And I'm like, yep, that's how they learn that's how we learn some shit, man it's.
Speaker 1:You know, failure is not the opposite of success, it's part of success you have to fucking experience the bad in order to know what the fuck to avoid yeah, it's like anything you can't win until you lose. That's not true.
Speaker 2:I've been losing my whole life.
Speaker 3:In a certain way okay.
Speaker 2:Not just blatantly. But yeah, all right, so that was our story this week. Hope you liked it. Jay's going to tell you to hit subscribe or hit the like button Top.
Speaker 1:Shelf Stories. Comment below Tell me in the comment section below liked it. Jay's gonna tell you to hit subscriber. Hit the like button or leave a comment. Stories comment below.
Speaker 3:Tell me in the comment section below what your proud dad moment was I just love that you mock me at the end of fucking every episode. Dick, is that what ended? Just laughing? Sure We'll be right back.
