Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Laughing Through Dental Dilemmas and Insurance Woes
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We explore the anxieties, costs, and humor surrounding dental visits and share personal anecdotes about navigating the dental landscape. Our conversations dive into fears, innovations in dental technology, and the importance of transparency in dental care.
• Discussing the shared fear of dental visits
• Sharing personal stories about avoidance and consequences
• Highlighting the financial reality of dental care
• Navigating children's dental health and costs
• Discussing technological advancements in dentistry
• Exploring future innovations in dental practices
• Emphasizing the importance of open communication with dentists
Dental Drama and Stereotypes
Speaker 1Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony. Welcome back everybody to another episode of top shelf stories. My name is chris, that is jay, this is tony and I'm going to talk about my trip to the dentist. All right, now that you've tested your eardrums, tested your headphones, let's get into the episode. Yeah, what do you guys think about the dentist? I have dental insurance. Yes, my wife is a state employee, I have some of the finest dental insurance the state of Wisconsin has available.
Speaker 3I haven't been to the dentist in probably a decade, since the last time I was raped.
Speaker 1I did that once, to not go to the dentist for a long time. It was a big mistake. I'm still paying for it.
Speaker 3They knock you out when they're pulling your teeth and you come out with a raw butthole.
Speaker 1You were raped. That is a joke, right? The dentist rape and molest you, and they put you under the gas.
Speaker 3I think, that's one of those stereotypes like asians driving where it's true. Let me hear about the asian driving. Let me hear that. What is it that?
Speaker 2they're bad at it. Everybody knows that. I see an asian in the car next to me. I just pull on the side of the road. I let him get a couple miles.
Speaker 3What would be worse? Being next to an Asian driving or someone that's 95 driving Asian? What if it's like a 25-year-old Asian?
Speaker 1Oh, even worse.
Speaker 2No experience at bad driving. Get the fuck out of here. What do you mean? You get your license at 16.
Speaker 3That's nine years of driving.
Speaker 2Now if it's a 95-year-old Asian, I'm just fucking putting my car into a tree. What?
Speaker 3do you think I'm just going to do?
Speaker 2it for them.
Speaker 1I'll be out here, I'll just drive myself into a tree.
Speaker 3So yeah, it has been a long time for me, Tony you into a tree.
Speaker 2so yeah, it has been a long time for me, tony you. Uh, last time I went was so last time I went was at the start of covid, okay, and then I had a follow-up appointment time to go. I had a follow-up appointment like a year into covid and uh, they told me I had to wear a mask into the dentist and I didn't understand what they were asking me to do. I'm like, are they just gonna cut a little hole in my tooth? We do 3d technology. They're just gonna cut one little hole in it and pop my tooth?
Speaker 1through it. And all right, mr Tony, this mask is actually a gigantic camera on the inside. We're going to put it over your mouth, then we're going to operate with tools that are on little robotic radio robots.
Speaker 2You got to wear a clear mask so they can see. I don't know, I don't like it. I feel like, physically and financially, they're rapists. Yeah.
Speaker 1I didn't expect this, actually from you too. I can't, I can't prove this is it because we have nice teeth, or what well I mean you're that you can have nice teeth or bad teeth and go to the dentist regularly or not go to the dentist regularly. Some people have really good, just at home oral hygiene well, again, genetics plays a genetic role. I got super white trashy teeth. I have all I have a european.
Speaker 3I like to call it european teeth english, english teeth with low iron right.
Speaker 1So because like half, my bloodline's european mutts, like almost all of it you know white european mutts, my side is is great Mixed with all that.
Speaker 3Great genes when it comes to teeth, and my wife's are fucking Swiss cheese filled in fucking fillings. That's her teeth, I don't know what it is. My grandmother never had a cavity in her life until she had a child.
Speaker 1Yeah, I've heard that my brother doesn't brush his teeth.
Speaker 3He doesn't get cavities. He doesn't brush his teeth, he doesn't get cavities. Some people just have the thing they call him Dragon because his breath smells so bad. That's his nickname. I probably shouldn't.
Speaker 1Tony wait.
Speaker 3He works here. Fuck Tony, call him Dragon.
Speaker 2Just go what's?
Speaker 3up Dragon, He'll laugh, I bet.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2I don't think that'll laugh. I think he'll get real sad about it. No, he'll laugh.
Speaker 1You guys sound like high fear, high anxiety, but also like time. Like the dentist is a pain in the fucking ass it gets a pain in the ass and it costs a ton of money. No matter what your way you split it, here's here's what I'm looking for in my life.
Speaker 2I'm looking for a dentist with the nickname the carpenter. I want somebody who's just gonna go in, fix my shit, leave and not fuck me over wait, wait, wait rough or finished carpenter either I. I've went to the dentist in my adult life. They tell me my teeth ain't that bad and I'm like who the fuck are you kidding? Right, my teeth are terrible.
Speaker 1They're the worst fucking teeth you can have they tell you it's good and they're like so that you have a good time they're like your teeth are overall good and I'm like whatever bitch I mean.
Speaker 2This is like when a stripper tells you how hot you are right exactly this is now you're getting it, yeah like oh, you're so hot you won't even accept money from me. Okay, but uh, then they sit me down in a conference room and they go. Let's go over a two-year plan for you this is true. And it's always attached to about $32,000 out of pocket, but I think the real.
Speaker 3Are you trying to get a grill or something? What the fuck are you going to do?
Speaker 2No, they're like. Your teeth are overall pretty good. You could use like 24 implants.
Speaker 1I think there's 32 teeth in the adult mouth.
Speaker 2And when we're done with the implants, we're going to put crowns on all those implants.
Speaker 3Depends if you count wisdom teeth, I think.
Speaker 1They're putting crowns on the crowns.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3Double crown, tori's, like can they're putting crowns on the crowns? Yeah, double crown. Tori's like can I get gold crowns even I know they're not gold, but just can I get a gold crown? But uh, fucking.
Speaker 2I think I lost all faith in dentists when my son had to have oral surgery oral surgery.
Speaker 1That forbidden name, orthodontics, is the next forbidden name but we won't get on that on this episode because I haven't had that experience. I don't think you guys have either. I had braces but I'm pretty sure my kid's gonna need that shit. But we'll get on that some other day uh.
Speaker 2So when my kid needed his teeth fixed, they told, told him he needed Jay. I love when you gently touch my hand.
Speaker 1These guys okay for you at home. These guys decided that they would be more cozy and comfortable and conversational if they were sitting on a couch. So they're sitting on a couch at the other end of the table. They're in both sides of the couch, no one's sitting in the middle, but they're both spreading their hands together and then apparently they fiddle faddle with each other all the time.
Speaker 3I didn't know that. I'm going to be watching it now. Hey, did you notice I flustered when I touched your hand and. I immediately got away from it, I know, like I thought it was a spider or something, yeah, like I whipped my hand away. I know I didn't caress your fingertips.
Speaker 1As you just gently touched my fingertips, I'm going to use the wood hand and kind of caress my hands Stop reaching on hands.
Speaker 3I feel left out. Tony, you are way more than half on side of my couch. It's my fucking couch. Okay, fine, you're more than half side on your couch, on my side.
Dental Costs and Surgery Decisions
Speaker 2You got all the cushion, I got all the top. Fine, I'll take the cushion. Then Back to oral surgery. They tell, they tell us my kid needs like nine crowns. And I'm like, aren't these baby teeth? And they're like well, the thing is is, if you let them do this, blah, blah, blah the teeth behind can get yeah wrong?
Speaker 1yep, you know, they're not wrong yeah, the teeth behind can get affected.
Speaker 2They're like this is what you need to do.
Speaker 1Do it for your child they start throwing that at you I want everyone at home to remember the episode where tony paid thousands of dollars to have his dog have surgery.
Speaker 3But go on on top of the bill. Did it say before any of the money. Did it say, do it for your child. And then it listed all the costs.
Speaker 2That was the adding of it and it's funny. I heard, I heard a stand-up comedian I don't know who he was, but I heard him on. It was like facebook reels and he was talking about, uh, veterinarians. The same way I feel about dentists yeah, yeah, and veterinarians he said. He said, uh, the trick to the veterinarian to get to the what the actual problem is and not deal with all the upselling, is you take your dog and then you say, hey, his legs fucked up. How much to put him down?
Speaker 2and they're like whoa, whoa, whoa. It's just a sprain man, he'll be fine. He's like that's what I thought, motherfucker that's brilliant.
Speaker 1Actually, fuck it. I'm done with this.
Speaker 2How much, to put this one down, so now I'm doing that with my kid at the doctor's office I'm like his eyes all twitchy how much to put him down. That's pretty good but uh, so they hand me a bill for I don't't know. It was like 7,000 bucks. Right For these fucking crowns on my kids pretend teeth that are just going to fall out in the next couple of months, I think. I think while they were putting their crowns on them they were like no discount.
Speaker 1We already got it.
Speaker 2We started already.
Speaker 1I already entered the ticket into the system sir, but uh, already got it.
Speaker 3We started already. I already entered the ticket into the system sir, but uh, she goes.
Speaker 2Okay, you have two options for this bill, for we're just going to use the number of seven thousand dollars. They said you can do it as a day surgery. It's a lot less, uh, invasive on your child, uh, it's all about the children. They said what?
Speaker 2what happens with that is, your insurance pays for the room at the hospital but you have to pay the anesthesiologist bill I think that's the most expensive bill it wasn't cheap and they said or we can do it on in-office visits, but it's going to be nine separate visits right, because the guy can't only do like one or two at a time. Yeah, and uh, I'm like well okay you want to get that through.
Speaker 3You don't want that, that trauma, like, yeah, I did the same thing. You want to try all that trauma to your kid just fucking one time. So my wife's like, yeah, perfect, we'll do the day surgery, we'll pay the anesthesiologist, we'll throw that extra three.
Speaker 2You want to try all that trauma to your kid just fucking one time. So my wife's like, yeah, perfect, we'll do the day surgery, we'll pay the anesthesiologist, we'll throw that extra 3 000 bucks onto it. We go, we go show up, they get them ready, they have them out within 10 minutes of us walking through the door. Dentist goes to work, dentist to work. She's done with all these crowns in a half hour, jesus. And she comes out and she's like where's my $7,000? Yeah, and we don't have dental insurance. So this is like briefcase full of cash, like that's how we got to do it.
Speaker 2You paid for it in cash, so I sit this lady down and I talk to her. Really, we're in the fucking lobby of the hospital and I'm like here's the deal. I'm like I own a contracting company. This is the anesthesiologist. No, this is the dentist.
Speaker 3And the doctor's, like how are your floors in your house?
Speaker 2I'm like I own a contracting company Teeth for cleats. I'm like service-based business. Right, I said if I go look at a job and I'm told I got to quote it out two separate ways. One way I'm going to have an uninterrupted hour to get the job done. Or I'm going to have nine separate trips of 10 minutes a piece to get the same job done. Those are going to be dramatically different prices, dramatically yeah and, but you gotta think of a different way I said so.
Speaker 2So what you're telling me is that you got done the same amount of work, that it was going to take you nine separate visits, that's. I said that's nine separate dental assistants that you didn't have today. That's nine separate visits, that's. I said that's nine separate dental assistants that you didn't have today.
Speaker 1That's nine separate uh um, novocaine and gas that you got to give a whole thing room. I'm like that's sanitizing your room. They put all the tools in those paper plastic bags with little stickers and they put them in the little machine that disinfects them.
Speaker 2I said so you're telling me it's the same exact price either way. And I'm like you know, because I'm like my wife agreed to this, I'm like she didn't lay these options out and she didn't tell me that Now it's going to cost us $3,000 more to make it more convenient for you, right? And she goes, yeah, but I had to travel here. And I said, oh, you had to drive the one mile from your office to this fucking center. And she goes, yeah, that's, this is the cost of doing business with a doctor right and uh, that's the fucking shit.
Speaker 2It's fucked up, dude. I hate these fucking people. I hate them. They just fuck you over any way they possibly can. It's, it's fuck you over before they help you so did you get a discount? No, nothing, not one fucking dollar it cost. It cost me thousands more because an anesthesiologist is in the lobby like, hey, about that, three thousand dollars, right? So yeah, I wrote ten thousand dollars in checks for that fucking hour of her popping caps over my kids she had to drive, though yeah, I know maybe she took the bus and she's just really angry about the traveling yeah.
Insurance Billing Secrets and Dental Care
Speaker 1My kid just had a crown done on one of her teeth and it did only take like 15 minutes for the whole fucking operation. What happened with you and the dentist now? So yeah, I'm about to turn your lives around, man. Oh boy, I fucking love the dentist now Shit.
Speaker 3I was once like you. We're going a different angle now.
Speaker 1I was once like you guys and was feared and afraid.
Speaker 3Hey, I didn't say I was afraid.
Speaker 1Then I got married to a girl who decided to work for the public school system and now we have really great insurance. So I get a good amount of money each year to spend on dental. If I don't use it, I lose it. So I decided to take decided to hear that number. I decided to take advantage of this and take my oral health seriously.
Speaker 1So I recently uh, I was only going to tell my recent dental story, but I'll kind of expand on it. Yeah, I went through years where I didn't go to the dentist like fucking ever. I had this fucking rotten tooth in my mouth. It was all busted and broken and rotten. I was terrible, right, and I finally decided I gotta take care of all this shit. So I went to the dentist and this is I decided I was going to find a really good dentist because the insurance was going to cover it anyways. Hell, yeah. So I found the finest dentist, the finest in the land, All right.
Speaker 2rate her on a scale of one to ten A 30, dude. Were you.
Speaker 1Googling. No, it's not even a she, it's not even about that?
Speaker 3Were you Googling reviews on dentists that you had to find? Are you talking?
Speaker 2I found a dentist that won awards that won certifications here and there. So they got a cool name like Dr Smiles.
Speaker 1It's in a high-rise building in the downtown area. It happened to be the closest one to my house. Actually is how I found it. What's his name? I like my story about how I found the best dentist ever, because it really is. They won a bunch of awards.
Speaker 3Give him a shout-out now. What's his name?
Speaker 1it's called major dental. It's the bomb major I think.
Speaker 3I've heard commercials on the radio about that shit.
Speaker 1But so, uh, yeah. So I went in, I got all my shit fixed and it was the same way, though, tony man, shit cost a ton of money the fucked up thing too. Because I did this, I had like a five year plan to repair everything in my fucking mouth that was a plan that gave you. I had to have a fucking bone graft on. I had to have. I have an implant in a fake tooth implanted in my fucking skull. Do you like backstreet?
Speaker 3fight.
Speaker 1I had all of the old, all of the old chrome shit and everything that was in my fucking mouth From when I was a kid at the dentist the old 80s, 90s shit, all replaced with white porcelain.
Speaker 2So it looks like I don't.
Speaker 1Everything. They made it all work, Tony See, here's the thing.
Speaker 3It has mass suits on just to work on. Yeah, dude, for real.
Speaker 1They were like mercury and shit in them. Yeah, for real. Well, that's what they are. They have to hire an abatement crew.
Speaker 3That's what the fillings are. They are basically lead and mercury.
Speaker 1I'll fast forward a little bit here, more to the as I go. But so basically, yeah, I had a certain amount of money each year that my insurance would cover. But then each year I had a plan where I would go in and they'd do a bunch of shit and I'd go in there like every fucking month, dude, I was in there, we're going to grind this thing, put this thing in, we're going to do this thing and do this thing. We've got to take x-rays of this thing and all this shit and it would add up. And then they're like, oh, we still have this appointment we need to do this year. And they're like, well, it costs this much money for you. And I'm like, well, can I pay what the insurance company pays? Ask your dentist that question. Because all of a sudden your $485 crown becomes what they're allowed to charge the insurance company $195. And then you pay that amount. If they don't agree to that shit, you tell them that you're going to go somewhere else.
Speaker 2They don't like that.
Speaker 1So they do it. So I'm telling you that's the secret code, that's to crack the code of this episode. But anyway, so yeah, man, you have to fucking the billing's all fucked up too.
Speaker 2Yeah, so I was talking to one dentist one time who I called in a fucking panic because I went in.
Speaker 3I hadn't been to the dentist in like five years.
Speaker 2Right, you had like worms coming out of your teeth, so when you go in they go. Oh well, based on the amount of time since your last dental appointment you got to do, um x-rays and well, it's like a deep scale cleaning, or something and I got a bill for it and it was like 490 because it's not covered.
Speaker 2And and no, it was covered, but that that's what they charged my insurance company and I at the same time, like, right, when I was done with that, they did a filling and they took about equal time and one was the hygienist and, uh, one was a dentist. And I went in there and or I called him, actually asked for a call back from the dentist. He called me and I go hey, can I come be a hygienist by you? And he's like, why, like what are you talking about? And I said, well, I just got my bill. And I said you guys both spent about 45 minutes on me and I said you got to bill my insurance company 180 and she billed my insurance company 440. I said it's obviously being a dental hygienist, but I use fucking serious cash. And he goes. Let me explain you how insurance companies work. He goes, they tell me what I have to charge them. Yep, he goes. So I send them a bill for $440. Send it back for.
Speaker 2But our negotiated amount that they pay me is $90 for that. Yep, he goes. The filling I did. They tell me I have to charge them $180 for it. He goes. They pay me $70 for it. He goes. That's so that they can show you how hard they work for you. Like using your insurance saves you money because ultimately, they only paid this much out because they negotiated the deal. Yep, yeah, but he's like that's how they make it through your premium so quick because you're you're being overcharged for everything and then I'm being paid whatever they feel like paying me right. Same thing with my chiropractor. When I had insurance where he was covered, it was $90 a visit every time I went, no matter what $90, $90, $90. Then, when I lost my insurance, when I became self-employed, he's like just give me $20 when you come in.
Speaker 1Really yeah, and he goes.
Speaker 3That's what the insurance paid me anyway for your visits you must have been doing something a little extra for him, though well, I sucked his dick a little, but that's what I thought hug, rub and tug, all right.
Speaker 1So that's how you get people to be honest with you now that you so, yeah, this, this, this whole story I wanted to tell actually happened in the last two days, because I'm through all that shit. I'm not going to the dentist every fucking month and everything like this. It is kind of weird that I walk in there and the secretary's like did you want to hang your coat? And I'm already got the coat closet hung up because I've been coming in there.
Speaker 1It's got your name on one of the but so, dude, I forgot that I had this appointment appointment. But I flipped my work calendar to november and there it was fucking november 11th, I think was yeah, so no, the 12th I went. I went there yesterday first, so it was just there on the fucking calendar. I'm like, oh shit, I got a dentist appointment, which isn't a big deal, except for I have this other thing. The last thing we want to do is my front two teeth. One of the front teeth is an old ass uh implant from when I was a kid. Yeah, it's different color and it's different and it's different size and it's outgrowing it. So they want to take it out and fucking replace the two with two more new fucking implants right, and a veneer and an implant or some shit. So I was like, oh, I know we talked about that the last time I was at the dentist, but that was fucking six months ago. Am I going in there to have whole fucking facial reconstructive surgery or am I going in there for fucking cleaning?
Speaker 1so I was nervous for the dentist for like the first time in a long time so I show up there, I park my car, I go upstairs, I tell the lady what my parking spot is. So she pays my parking, tells you this place is bomb. And then she asked me if I want a cup of coffee or a glass of water or anything, and I say no and I hang my coat up like you got new starburst and I make them really work.
Speaker 1For today, I'm secretly I'm secretly really nervous because I don't, like I said, I don't know what this appointment's actually for, but at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
Speaker 3So I'm just like I'm fucking going in.
Unexpected Dental Discovery and Technology
Speaker 1So I'm ready for anything I get in. It's just the fucking cleaning. They were like, yeah, we were talking about that, do you want to do that? So it's still on the plan. But they did their little thing. They dug around. They're like, oh, you got some, you got the x-rays show some cavities. Ah, fuck. They said I'm like all right and they're like, well, we should get them done, but I am out of money on the insurance. So I had to pay a little bit, which kind of sucked, but it was just a little bit.
Speaker 2Yeah, cavities aren't a hundred dollars or something you have to pay them in pork.
Speaker 1Let me get you my crypto.
Speaker 3Wait, when you said that, I thought you were talking about actual meat.
Speaker 2Like ribs, like Chris Watkins, with a cooler. I'll be right back.
Speaker 1I got some ham and cheese in the car I think Pinky Stave is running a deal on, so I get through this appointment. They're like yeah, we found these cavities, you gotta get them fixed. So they had me come in today. I was expecting to do three cavities, actually two right next to each other on the lower one on top.
Speaker 1I don't know what the fuck happened, but here we are it's been a while since I had a new cavity, right, excuse me. So, uh, today I go in there to get my cavity filled in same thing. You know, here's my spot number. They paid for the spot and then offer me the coffee or water and I go sit down and, uh, they fucking dude you remember? Remember that old that? That?
Speaker 3yeah, syringe, yeah, that they would use to inject the fucking mouth shit.
Speaker 1So first they put the little numbing stuff in your lips right.
Speaker 2Never did that shit for me, so she's talking to me she's like that's because you were a jehovah's witness too bad, you're not coming here tomorrow.
Speaker 1the the flavor, new flavors coming, pina colada. She's rubbing strawberry flavored numbing gums in my mouth, right. So then then she. Then she's like oh, we got this new thing. It's supposed to make the injection for the novocaine or whatever less, the anesthesia or whatever anesthetic less invasive. It's this pen, and she pulls out this thing and it looks like a fucking pen and she goes yeah, it's pretty neat. We put the medicine in, well, you put it in this machine and it doses the medicine into it and then you press a button and you put it in the patient's mouth and the pen knows where to put the needle and how much to put in and everything. So she's telling me this as it's like in my mouth and she's not really paying attention, and it's just in there and this apparently it's just a fucking needle that goes into your little lips and shit Does, his real soft little, I hear it's going, it's dispensing this medicine and like no pain, none, zero. The shot was no pain at all, none. Remember that fucking thing.
Speaker 1They would use big metal like two finger grippers you can see like their whole veins in their arm getting fucking rubbed up as they're trying to get it part of the dentist. Oh shit, dude, this thing is bomb. So she's like oh, I'm gonna get a little more only it goes back and puts it in the little machine and she brings it back and presses the button you're all done, chris and then my son.
Speaker 1She's like I'll be back a couple minutes. And then my face gets numb and she does the thing. So she fixes the one on the top, no big deal, the whole thing fixes it. Oh, how's that feel? Bite back forth, blah, blah, blah. Then she goes to do the other ones, like alright, I'm gonna work on this one. Oh, it looks like this other tooth is actually fine, now that I'm like looking at it here with the fine tooth thing and poking at it or whatever. So we don't need a cavity. It's not a cavity, we're gonna put it on a watch, but I'll fix this other one.
Speaker 1So she's drilling in dude, something you don't want to hear. This is why I wanted to tell a story, something you don't want name. Something you don't want to hear is your dentist is inside your mouth with a drill. Oops, oh, she goes. Oh, wow, what's this? Holy cow? She says. And the other lady's like, oh man, whoa, I've never seen what that is and I'm like they fucking pull this shit out of my mouth. She's like oh, so, oh, this is the other cool two they have. She brings this other little pen. She's like oh, here, I'll take a picture for you. I'll show you what's going on. She she puts this little pen in my mouth. The little light flashes. I can see it on the little TV screen on top of me. Turn around. She shows me a picture of what's going on in my mouth.
Speaker 2It's a black person's tooth.
Speaker 1She goes it's all black. No, but it was Dude. She goes it fell in like a trap door. No, but it was Dude. She goes it fell in like a trap door. I was grinding and your tooth just went and she showed me that I had this fucking deep ass cavity underneath, like a non cavity looking area. They found it off. There was a fucking x-rays and then scalping around and find it, but she didn't. They didn't think it was like that.
Speaker 3They thought it was just a little dot of fucking rot in my tooth, in my tooth Number, where you said toward your gum.
Speaker 1No, right on the top of my tooth. So then I'm like here, you mean you email me that picture.
Speaker 3So they said what's this and cause she? Yeah, dude, she.
Speaker 1Yeah, dude, she's like, uh, basically she just had to grind a little more than she thought, but she's like I can't believe that we've fucking seen this thing In your fucking tooth. Dude, that's not what you expect, it's a big ass fucking hole. Ew, that is disgusting.
Speaker 1Pretty crazy, then they grinded it out, real big. They grinded it. You see, I'll show you the picture there. They grinded it out and filled. They grinded it. You see, I'll show you the picture there. They grinded it out and filled it in, bro, but what a technology dude, it looked like you ate something.
Speaker 3There was green in there.
Speaker 1It looks like there's something living in there.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, I think like I said, but she said it did not.
Speaker 1I mean, I wasn't looking at my, my mouth, but I didn't see any holes in my mouth. But she grinded a little bit. She's like, oh shit, it just like caved in. That's how much fucking. That's why you need to go to the dentist. Go to the dentist, you fucking I'll make an appointment tonight, yet drink your fluoride no, I trust me.
Dental Nightmares and Future Innovations
Speaker 3I definitely know that I should be going to the dentist. I have bad, irritating feelings in my mouth often.
Speaker 1Dude. When I was a kid, I used to have these Dude go away. I used to have these nightmares that my teeth would just crumble to shit and just fall out of my mouth. And then, when I got a little, bit older.
Speaker 3Oh my God, that fucking happened to me bro. Dude, you don't have that nightmare where you're. Yeah, exactly, you just said it happened to me teeth are all falling out.
Speaker 1I literally would be out falling out I would be out and about and my teeth were crumbling in my fucking mouth dude that's how bad my teeth were because I wasn't taking care of my teeth. Like if you're not gonna go to the dentist the genetics don't help.
Speaker 1But yeah, dude, find yourself a good dentist. I do have a guy who will fucking my. We found a dentist through process of elimination from this guy at my work who is not gonna pay for all the bullshit. He just wanted his fucking tooth out of his mouth. So we got yeah, we got a guy who literally just tie your tooth to a fucking doornail and rip it out.
Speaker 2I need a Costa Rican refugee who practiced dental there and then just moved here, but he still lives with like a cousin or something and doesn't realize how much he can charge for stuff. I had a tooth. I just, I just need a guy who's like I'll fill that in for you. Give me three seashells, yeah I had a tooth.
Speaker 3The only bad situation with with dental was I uh was eating at a taco bell and um I would, I bit into my.
Speaker 2They don't have a piece of hard food in that whole place.
Speaker 1It's all plastic bags.
Speaker 3Listen to me. I bit into a gordita and there was something fucking hard in there and it split one of my molars in almost half it was a piece of tooth. It was something hard and I was like you know what Maybe this is? Can I sue them? It cracked. Not Taco Bell, it was something hard and I was like you know what maybe this is? Can I suit them? But like it cracked not taco bell.
Speaker 1When you go through the door, you sign a level of immunity.
Speaker 3You're walking with sign in just walk.
Speaker 1You, let you, let them.
Speaker 3You're dude I didn't need taco bell for five years after that. I had to get that shit pulled out and I still look to get another tooth in here. I have to bridge between the two teeth next to it and it's like it was. I mean, the number was insane.
Speaker 1Yeah, I have no teeth in the back, I have two. I had three teeth pulled, one replaced and I had they almost were like, well, we might just want to replace all nine of these. I'm like fuck that shit, or whatever you know. They're like oh well, this one's bad and this one is too, and this one is too, and so if we're going to do those two, we can't really save the middle one. I'm like no, fuck that you save them fucking teeth Like I'm here now, bitch.
Speaker 3We're going to work through this. If I'm going to spend money different like legos, I want different fucking teeth that I can take in and out, like when I'm feeling in the mood of having red teeth.
Speaker 1That's what the famous people do. They just grind down their teeth and put on these veneers that you can just pop in and out whatever the fuck would you get a grill, tony?
Speaker 3if you got, oh yeah, what? What? Okay, no, what would your grill be? What diamonds gold?
Speaker 2what it would be all that if I ever, if I ever like, made it, made it like?
Speaker 3what kind of made it? How would you be making it like the porn?
Speaker 2industry, like if I, if I ended up some somehow, some way coming up with real like rapper money like you, can't outspend the interest type I would. I would catch a flight to houston and have one of my heroes, paul wall, make me a girl?
Speaker 3how do you even know? Is it? What is that? Who's that?
Speaker 2uh, he's a white houston rapper. Take your teeth out.
Speaker 1Let me make you agree.
Speaker 3He's a rapper and a dentist a jeweler?
Speaker 1yeah, and he makes grills, paul. Wow, baby, he's the people's champ okay.
Speaker 3So now, when you're talking about grills, I thought like something that he would create or make something that would fit over. Yeah, they'd clip on.
Speaker 1Yeah, but a lot of them, what a lot of them are. Because a millimeter's, a mile in your mouth they say and you feel that shit.
Speaker 3So if you have, a little bit thing that goes over your regular teeth.
Speaker 1If you have a little bit thing that goes over your regular teeth, you're going to feel it and you're going to look goofy. It's going to feel goofy, so literally literally most of them grind their original teeth down to nubs and snap these fucking things in like dentures.
Speaker 3I didn't know they could actually snap them in like Legos. I thought the dentist had to do this shit.
Speaker 1Nah, Nah dude, you can have a whole fucking drawer full of different grills.
Speaker 3Like a picture of a dude taking all his grills and be like showing his fucking crazy zombie teeth. There are, I mean why, I got to see what that looks like.
Speaker 1If you had that done, why? On earth? Well, ever would you walk around without?
Speaker 3your teeth in? No, i'm'm saying just to show off what it looks like without having the grill in. What's that rapper? I'm curious, there's a rapper who's got point teeth I don't know Like purposely pointing teeth, pointy teeth yeah, can't think of it.
Speaker 1I'm not going to look right now.
Speaker 2How far are we, do you think, from having like Bluetooth teeth?
Speaker 1Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2That when you start eating something like the teeth, like little grinders, pop out.
Speaker 3Did you only think of that? Because Bluetooth.
Speaker 2Like you don't even have to chew, you just put the food in your mouth, you put it in your mouth and hold it in a certain place, and all these little like in a certain place and all these little like you know, like the thing you put the potato in and you slice the potato real fast yeah, like different attachments pop out of your teeth. What the fuck kind of shit do you think of? You just keep the food in your mouth and it does all the processing for you here's the thing about it's ready to be.
Speaker 3Here's the thing about tony he has inventions that are amazing but they're never gonna be made in the next 100 years.
Speaker 2Like I think that this actually could be a possibility like at some point, like when it's done doing it either like a light goes on inside your retina or like a little vibration happens when you know you're good to swallow your nose turns a different color or a beep comes out of your face Beep Like the fucking microwave that you set up.
Speaker 1They're using AI now, dude, to analyze the x-rays and shit. The lady was like because I was talking about AI or whatever somehow and she's like, oh yeah, we use that sometimes to analyze the x-rays. It'll tell you if you have a cavity or not. I'm like what do you mean? She's like I don't know, it just figures it out. It's like we don't have to do anything, and then when?
Speaker 1she when we were talking about these photos of my fucking tooth. After it, I would have even saw this one. This was, I mean, I knew there was something in there by what I was seeing, but I didn't look like this. Like, maybe. I probably would have just had me remove the whole fucking tooth they. I would have recommended the whole thing Go away.
Speaker 3Maybe you had a bunch of food just jammed up into that bitch.
Speaker 1No, dude, it was like a cavity. No dude, if it's jammed up in there.
Speaker 3It's like making its own tooth of food.
Speaker 1And you had a food tooth All right, that's been another episode of Top Shelf Stories. This podcast is meant to entertain Nothing. We say here, even fucking matters for shit. We're just talking about the day in and day out of being a guy, a dad, a member of this fucking world we live in. In today's episode, we talked about the dentist.
Speaker 2I think before this gets dropped, I have to get a copyright on blue teeth.
Speaker 1Blue tooth, teeth Blue teeth.
Speaker 3Yeah, you will be. You will need to do that, but not for another hundred years. Self-chewing teeth.
Speaker 1Blue teeth is patent pending. I don't know how that even happens as a part of Tony's Total Detonations Enterprises Inc.
Speaker 2Which is still my favorite thing we've ever done on a podcast All right, beautiful, see you next time.
Speaker 3Bye, bye, beautiful, see you next time.
