Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
What Would You Do For $50?
Our podcast intro goes hilariously off the rails when a host makes an unexpected comment with his mic on, leading to a completely unfiltered conversation about studio equipment needs and absurd fundraising ideas.
• Discussion about needing to revamp our podcast studio with proper tables and microphone stands
• Joke about starting a fundraiser with questionable content creation strategies
• Deep dive into the economics of subscription-based content platforms
• Questioning why people pay for content on platforms like OnlyFans
• Theories about the value of interaction and personalization in paid digital content
• Recognition that we've completely derailed the episode with our tangential conversation
Top Shelf Stories with J, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2:Woo, you're fucking. What'd you call me? You call me what I heard it, chris. You didn't know your microphone was on, did you call me? You called me what I heard it, chris. You didn't know your microphone was on, did you no?
Speaker 1:Ruined the intro. No, it's okay. I'm just going to say I need like a TV tray thing in front of me here. The studio needs to be revamped.
Speaker 2:I revamped my whole corner. You guys have a problem with your side.
Speaker 1:Attention top shelf stories podcast listeners. We are going to be holding a fundraiser.
Speaker 2:We need you to send us donations. Chris is going to put an OnlyFans out and show his dick.
Speaker 1:No, no, there's not enough money in the world, jay.
Speaker 3:To show your dick to strangers. Yeah, I heard he's got a really big penis. There's definitely enough money for me to do that. It's not even a lot of money either.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to say it. What's going to happen is nobody's going to pay for that Nobody should pay.
Speaker 3:to see my dick. What is the lowest amount of money?
Speaker 1:in front of me is too high, I know. That's why I said you gotta get rid of that table. Get rid of the table and buy some mic stands. We're taking donations. We'll set up the donation page later.
Speaker 2:I'm writing it down.
Speaker 1:Tony said he would, it's gonna be sloppy because I don't have a nice table, so I might forget tony's gonna show his dick.
Speaker 2:What's the lowest you'd go?
Speaker 3:see, here's the thing. I've never been on OnlyFans, but I hear it's subscription-based. Somebody doesn't just say how much is your subscription for a month. Somebody doesn't just say, like here, here's $100. Can I see your boob? How much?
Speaker 1:is your subscription.
Speaker 3:You got to like and I see Facebook is doing it now too when you try to subscribe to somebody, they're like oh subscribe to this person for $4.99 a month and I'm like, yeah, go fuck yourself.
Speaker 3:But I think that's kind of how OnlyFans is. So, until I got enough subscribers, I mean, that would probably be like the big reveal, right? Like how do you because you, because you don't just tell me the fucking price well, if you got one subscriber and he's paying you five dollars a month, you don't just pull your dick out for that.
Speaker 2:I don't know like you got a lot of build, so like well, I think you do you use your dick in different ways. Then you take it, you move it around, you put it around your wrist like a watch.
Speaker 3:Well, that's, that's when you start getting a couple hundred subscribers at five bucks a month.
Speaker 1:You just sell an option, not sell, sorry. Just sell a Polaroid on the internet, you provide them an option to donate an amount that's equal to the amount it costs and is for you to fly to them and show them your wiener.
Speaker 2:Ooh, how much would that cost?
Speaker 3:No, I don't got that kind of time, do they do that? All right, I don't know man. 40, 50 bucks.
Speaker 2:But OnlyFans. They get paid so much goddamn money, it's not even. I can't even fathom it.
Speaker 3:I'm off it. He's off it, chris is off it.
Speaker 2:I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it.
Speaker 1:I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it, I'm off it. I was making too much money.
Speaker 3:They get paid a small amount of money from people that I know have it just because I know them, but they will never admit it.
Speaker 1:But if I took their phone, I know someone that's admitted it. Wasn't it originally created for, like artists, to share their music and storytelling, and whatever like a cameo style option to. But it's just.
Speaker 3:It's easier now to just pull your tits out and ride an exercise bike for a couple hundred people to watch fascinating times.
Speaker 2:The thing that doesn't make sense to me, I guess it's more about knowing the person and then seeing them naked. But the thing about doesn't make sense to me is you can find any of these videos or pictures online for free.
Speaker 1:That I also get interested in why there's paid options and why, like, are people so much involved in it? And I guess so that the available window shopping that's there isn't enough to satisfy the requirements that they have.
Speaker 2:So is it because?
Speaker 1:there's it, I get my, I'm not going here. I don't know, I have no idea, it is foreign to me. I'm sure there's people that thoroughly enjoy this, what they're perceiving as a social aspect of the interaction I'm gonna tell you.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna tell you one. Okay, I'm gonna tell you something.
Speaker 1:My don't tell me people I don't want.
Speaker 2:You can't tell the internet your brother by someone I know. Uh showed me his one that he was following and I I asked why. I mean, what is the reason? You're Because you can find this type of content? I guess because you can interact Apparently. You can get on these live things and ask them to do stuff, sure, and then they do things for you, but you also have to give another donation to them to get them to do it, and then everybody else who didn't give the donation gets to see him shove the cucumber up their ass, or whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Everybody that didn't have that idea still gets to see like a frozen banana up the gym. Why freeze it? Oh man, that'd be so sloppy, especially if it was like a brown kind of.
Speaker 3:Just get the spotted one where the bottom's completely black, just put it in and let it bust all right, this episode is done.
Speaker 1:All right I was waiting for someone else to say this is off the rails, why not? What are you? Gonna just delete it, that's gonna be episode now?
Speaker 2:no, it's just gonna. It's gonna go somewhere no, you can't do this you gotta go, we gotta get on it.
Speaker 3:Okay, go ahead and just fuck so before we go any further, I mean my number is like 50 bucks, 50 bucks to do that long to answer me. I've been waiting for that for like 10 subscribers at five bucks a month.
Speaker 1:They're they're getting full dick yeah, next time we start recording, jay, try not to use the word dick or penis in the first three words that you say and we might not end up here.
Speaker 2:Okay, I won't Thanks Chris.
