Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
Junkers, Axe Holes, and Teenage Freedom: Our First Car Chronicles
Three friends reminisce about their first cars and the freedom, breakdowns, and bizarre incidents that came with teenage car ownership in the 1990s.
• Jay's "Red Wolf" - a maroon Ford Taurus that cost $500 and lasted only a week before breaking down
• Chris's 1977 gold Pontiac Catalina with bench seating that received an unintentional tattoo imprint during a romantic encounter
• Tony's Plymouth Reliant with a DIY "dookie brown" paint job that survived repeated abuse but eventually caught fire
• Firefighters using Tony's burning car as an impromptu training exercise, putting axe holes in every body panel
• The origin story of Tony's car being sold by a father who caught his son planning to drink and drive
• Discussion about the future of automobiles, including predictions about self-driving cars and flying vehicles
Share your first car stories in the comments below! What was your first ride, when did you get it, and how long did it last before it died?
Top Shelf Stories with Jay, chris and Tony.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone, thanks for joining us today. Today we're going to take a little stroll down memory lane. We are going to talk about that one thing you couldn't wait to get when you were in your younger years your first automobile. So everybody in this room has had a first car, correct?
Speaker 1:I remember mine quite well.
Speaker 3:I actually named mine.
Speaker 1:Really yeah. Now we're talking first car you ever owned First car that you ever owned. Not your parents, not the first car you ever drove.
Speaker 2:Not your parents' car that you crashed when you were 16. I'm talking about 16 and a half.
Speaker 3:My brother's your first car. My brother sold me this first car. It was a piece of shit. He needed money to go to a vacation in Florida and he went to go to Florida.
Speaker 2:He needed the money to get a cool neck tat yeah.
Speaker 3:He sold me a piece of shit that I used for a week and a half and it broke down. I was driving up a hill and it broke down. I called it the Red Wolf.
Speaker 2:The Red. Wolf, it was a maroon, which is weird, because weren't you bird? Yeah, weren't you bird, man I? Am not bird man, so so you're telling me the bird was in the belly of the wolf?
Speaker 3:motherfucker, that's pretty good.
Speaker 2:You are like you are a comedian so for two weeks you drove this pos. Yep, what happened with?
Speaker 3:it. I don't know, I just like okay.
Speaker 2:So first off if I, if I know the way you operate, I'm guessing it broke down. You open the door and started walking to your destination, and that car is still sitting on the shoulder of New Berlin somewhere it's got trees growing around it now. I could just see you fully abandoning a car I did to get home.
Speaker 3:No, I was driving up a hill. I didn't even have it, didn't even have a radio.
Speaker 2:I had a boom box, one of those big ass boom boxes with giant batteries that's how you became the lead singer from all the, from all the singing in that car.
Speaker 3:I probably took six rides with it. It broke down up a steep hill and I had to leave it there until I got rid of it. I didn't need it anymore. I paid $500 for it. It was a Ford, Maroon Ford. What was the name of it? Taurus?
Speaker 2:Escort.
Speaker 3:I think it was a tour. It was either taurus or nesco was it the real little one. No, it was a fat ugly looking car.
Speaker 1:That's a taurus yeah, it was a taurus, the clitoris you had a clitoris, I did and it uh, I felt free.
Speaker 3:I felt, for I was 16. I was 16 years old so's crazy.
Speaker 2:This car must have meant nothing to you, because you don't remember any of the details. You don't remember the year, the make, the model. You just remember it was a red car that you abandoned in New Berlin.
Speaker 1:Let me ask you I bet you there's some things he remembered. It probably had an ashtray right.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, definitely it had a fucking lighter in there and all that shit.
Speaker 1:Did it have power windows?
Speaker 3:No, maybe I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't even know if it worked. Did it have a CD player?
Speaker 3:Oh no, it didn't have a radio, yeah, the radio.
Speaker 2:It didn't have a CD player. It was just in the back seat and he had to reach over the seat and press play on his cassette tape.
Speaker 3:I had that big ass boom box right on the fucking front window.
Speaker 1:I couldn't see anything.
Speaker 3:Cop pulls me over. He's like you can't have a giant boom box in your. No, I didn't care about it, You're right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So, Chris, how did your first car meet its demise? No because nobody buys their first car and then also sells that car.
Speaker 1:I might have gotten something for it.
Speaker 2:If it's low class enough for you to be able to afford, as a teenager, it starts out as a piece of shit $400.
Speaker 1:$400. Mine was $500.
Speaker 3:So yeah, we're right in the wrong place 1977 Pontiac Catalina, catalina, yeah was 500.
Speaker 1:So yeah, we're right in the middle. 1977.
Speaker 3:Pontiac Catalina, catalina.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, this thing was great Double bench seating, all gold, gold interior, gold trim, gold steering wheel.
Speaker 2:Was this when you were starting your rap?
Speaker 1:career Gold, everything the car was gold. There was like no rust on the thing.
Speaker 3:This was in the year of 1998 or so I, uh, I didn't get my license right away when I was 16.
Speaker 1:It took me a little while because I had to get my uh enough to pay for six months of insurance. So my dad wouldn't let me get my license makes sense.
Speaker 2:You had to sell some of your pepsi stock, so whatever it was don't get insurance, so just run from the scene I had the car for a while.
Speaker 1:It was pretty badass dude. And then I was driving too fast, hitting the gas too hard and turning at the same time and apparently that this particular model of car. There was something where if you had the wheel fully turned and fully accelerated, they like messed up with the transmission. So the transmission started getting all fucked up. So I had to like manually steer through the low third and drive to get going. Then it would like only go in reverse sometimes and not go in reverse and so I had to get it towed somewhere.
Speaker 1:My uncle got it. He was like working at a transmission shop at the time and he's like I'll fucking take it.
Speaker 2:I don't know what I might have got for it so, in other words, you sold it, but it shouldn't have been sold.
Speaker 1:Yeah, probably not. He probably didn't even. He probably just threw some fucking fluid in it in some way and threw it for sale down on the north side or something.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had to pay, he sold it he sold it for money I had to pay. Maybe it was seven hundred dollars.
Speaker 1:My car too to get rid of. I drove it for a while, though I nearly died in it in a rainy day. The brake is locked up and I spun a bunch of times and ended up like facing back into traffic on a one lane going one way, one lane going the other way type road where it was like for some reason we were all stopping and no one knew why, kind of thing uh yeah and I had another good part of that there.
Speaker 1:I had, uh, relations with a woman in the car one night. She had just gotten a tattoo on her back like a tramp stamp with the butterfly thing, or a target, as some people call it, and uh, yeah, so that was stained into the back seat of the car wait what? Because she was leaning up against the car with the fresh ink oh, and so it's like the tattoo was stained just got it. It's stained into the car's seat.
Speaker 2:It's pretty legit, so you're banging her while she still has a vaseline and cellophane yes yeah, like that's how she paid for her ride home from the tattoo parlor again.
Speaker 1:I want to. We should start each of these episodes with the disclaimer that this this podcast. Let me just record it here seven minute 40 seconds. This podcast is for entertainment purposes only any stories told on top self. Stories are subject to validation, verification and are we in no way incriminate ourselves by speaking in a certain manner during this entertainment enjoy.
Speaker 3:Good, yeah, I need a better disclaimer, get a better disclaimer.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I like that idea so yeah, first car, I loved it. I'll never forget it. If I could buy another one, I would right now I would pay probably not if it ran and drove and I could like take it to work. I would pay probably $2,000 for a 77 Pontiac Catalina in almost any condition, as long as I could drive it to work, even if I can only drive it to work on like nice days like a motorcycle, so a Windows working is not even a requirement.
Speaker 1:Nothing's really just like it starts and runs and I could go to work and back on a nice day. But yeah, so what? What prompts you here?
Speaker 2:this is great so my first car ever was a 1986 Plymouth Reliant. No, I do not.
Speaker 3:I know what that is.
Speaker 2:So for everybody listening at home, I'll give you just a second.
Speaker 1:What year again? 1986. Actually, it's the year I bet you it was purple or brown tan.
Speaker 2:Oh, let me get it. So let's go through the story of how I acquired this car.
Speaker 1:This also went by the name like a Dodge Acclaim or something too right.
Speaker 2:This car Well that was similar but that had a little bit more style. Okay, that had kind of like a tilted trunk and a tilted front. Mine was just so.
Speaker 3:What a Plymouth Reliant is is so if your name is bad, when did they stop making?
Speaker 2:those in 86 now ask me when they started making them 85 um rely, it's so reliable, reliable, so so, basically, what a plymouthmouth Reliant is is if you handed a 10-year-old with no artistic ability a crayon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is exactly the car, and said can you please draw a car?
Speaker 2:It's exactly the car they would draw a.
Speaker 1:Plymouth Reliant. It's exactly the car I thought.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 1:I think the Acclaim was just the two-door Reliant.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 3:So the nickname for this car was the whole hauler so google that if you're listening to, to get uh an idea of what he's speaking of.
Speaker 1:But this thing's not, I mean this is much fancier and compact and stylish than the 1977 that I had.
Speaker 3:I don't know, man, it's just a weird looking box yeah, this is no it's hideous.
Speaker 2:So let me tell you how I got it. So my whole family's kind of in the cars, buying, selling, painting, whatever, just in the cars. And I was about to turn 16 and my uncle came to me and he said hey, Hold on Time out.
Speaker 1:I got many-year reliance here, but go on.
Speaker 2:Verifying dates. Verifying your lies. I heard the new 2024 reliance going to be electric.
Speaker 3:Okay, Did you have?
Speaker 1:the K? No, because that was. Oh, that's the two-door, it was a loaded, yeah oh that's the two doors to load it up that's the two-door then, right, okay, that's not a bad looking car. Um, I'm sorry I got you off oh, let me see it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is about, let me see it once no, no, no, look that looks.
Speaker 3:It looks like a matchbox you're talking this car as I said it was purple, yeah, or or tan that's like this it was tan, oh please was it tan. So that looks like hold on, let me get sorry.
Speaker 2:Sorry, his pant color is the same so my uncle comes to me and says hey, one of my buddies from work is selling a great starter car for you. It runs and drives great, it needs nothing needs nothing. I said all right, that sounds like yeah he said it looks hideous, but it needs nothing. It'll be the perfect, safe car for you to drive it runs and it's reliable runs and drives fucking name speaks for itself. And uh, I'm like, okay, how much? Because obviously I can't afford a mechanically sound, reliable car.
Speaker 3:And he goes, he's selling it for he just bought it by the name.
Speaker 2:You can't afford the actual liability he's selling it for two hundred dollars and god, and I said two hundred dollars, what year? Give me two of them. Yeah, what year? What year? It's a 1980? No, no, no, what year? It's a 1986 and I bought it in 1996.
Speaker 1:So it's 10 years old dude.
Speaker 3:That's a new car, that's fucking you know how old I had to be until I got a car that was less than 10 years old.
Speaker 1:Dude, I didn't get a car that was less than 10 years old for $200.
Speaker 3:Never bought a car less than 10 years old so it was silver originally, but it had.
Speaker 2:It had a red fender, red hood and red door. Oh my god, so obviously this car's been through some shit different colored stuff yep so it was a multi-colored plymouth reliant. So I buy this thing for 200 bucks from this lovely man named dennis what's the last name?
Speaker 2:I know I'm it, I don't know. So he comes into the story a little bit later. Sounds like but uh, so I'm 16 years old, I buy this car and, uh, my uncle goes. Hey, you know, I've been painting cars for a long time. I have all these little like quarter gallon of paint. He's like what do you say? We mix them all together and spray this thing out and I'm like anything's got to be better than silver and bright red, right? Oh my?
Speaker 2:god so we spend a weekend, we mix it off, we mix everything together and uh turns out, when you mix like 11 colors together, it gives you this dookie brown. Oh, yeah, right, yeah, mud brown so it was the most hideous color of brown you've ever seen, but all one color, so I was good did you leave?
Speaker 1:it have to leave? Do you have like a mixed bag of varnish and clear coat for?
Speaker 2:you too, or what? No, we just use. We just used one clear coat. I actually had to buy that.
Speaker 3:That was like 60 bucks you should have kept it matte. Finish man those even that wasn't in style back then, even in shit brown, it probably looked cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it would have looked cool if it was all matte, but that wasn't a thing back then. Nobody did that I, I want a matte, so I drove the shit out of this thing. For about a year and a half I delivered pizzas in it, that's awesome dude, you got the money's only thing I ever had to do was put like 18 in gas in it, and I feel like I drove that thing around the planet well, dude, what was the cheapest you've ever paid for gas?
Speaker 2:that uh, remember yeah, when I was 16 there was some kind of gas wars girl going. I actually I no, I wasn't in the reliant, I was in a different car, but we went to iowa and gas was 99 cents. Yeah, I remember one time premium. I remember paying for fucking premium.
Speaker 1:chris, I don't know what I put in there, but it was only 97 cents and I was like wow, it's less than a dollar.
Speaker 3:This is insane. My car is a high-performance vehicle. It's only filled with premium.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in Iowa it was 99 cents, in probably 1997. So this thing was indestructible, this thing could not break. So, you're trying to break it, yeah, so trying, trying to break this thing became a pastime and it couldn't be done he tried so fucking hard. This card did not have a weak link on it.
Speaker 3:So when you speak of trying to break, you were just running into shit. You weren't doing neutral drops, no we did thousands of neutral drops.
Speaker 2:It was the only way we could get the front tire to go.
Speaker 1:It wouldn't break, though, skrrt.
Speaker 2:But this thing wouldn't break. I don't know. Maybe this is why plymouth went out of business, because they built their cars like fucking army tanks you could not break them. Division of dodge corporation that's pretty crazy, but they're you know, maybe it was maybe it was like they're all right we're gonna build this one line?
Speaker 1:we're not gonna. We're gonna call it the discount line, but it's just gonna run forever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, millions and millions americans are gonna be in our plymouth cars I, I guarantee you, in the time I had it, I did not change the oil. I did, I did not do anything to this car.
Speaker 3:I did not do. You said a year and a half, year and a half, so you don't need to change. I don't change my oil for three, four years.
Speaker 2:So I was going to talk shit about your car, but then I remembered I'm talking about a 1986 Plymouth Reliant, so never mind my car doesn't have emotions. So the house I lived in at the time with my mom had an alley, like a lot of blocks do in the city. But this particular alley had another alley that came off of it in the middle, so it had a T?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, you have a dangerous alley T alleys are bad dude Criminals love T alleys because you don't get caught up in there. If someone pulls up on you in an alley, you got to drive backwards or at them, unless there's a T. Then you can go on the T.
Speaker 2:So this T was where the city plowed all the snow from the alley in the streets. They ran it all into this tee and I spent a good amount of my childhood climbing this snow mountain that they that they put on there. We, you know, nobody ever got hurt in it, it was always fun. We used to dig out igloos and all kinds of shit into it and it was probably 15 feet tall, true, and, uh, I had a circle, but yeah. So me and my brother one day, uh, we were a little bit old to go out there with shovels and dig tunnels through it and make the uh igloo we had in years past. So we decided it was going to be fun to try to build an igloo the shape of a plymouth three lion. And I did that by reversing, drive bam, reverse, drive bam, and I just ran that car into the snow mountain for 20 minutes just packing the snow just packing it deeper and deeper and I almost got up to the windshield wiper.
Speaker 2:So I made a nice alcove for the kids, you wrecked it well, we were trying to.
Speaker 1:For a long time they were made of steel back then. Could you imagine if you did that with?
Speaker 2:the car now do you imagine?
Speaker 1:could you fucking imagine? No, you accidentally hit a curb in your fucking front I rear-ended a lady's.
Speaker 2:I rear-ended a lady's jeep going zero miles an hour and blew up like a balloon and destroyed her tailgate, the whole tailgate. But uh, so I ran this thing back and forth and when we finally realized it's not packing in any further, we got a nice little alcove here. We're just gonna pack our losses, drive around back through the alley, park it out in front. Well, I overheated that bitch badly by packing snow into the radiators, probably. I thought you said reversed it. Yeah, I got out of the thing I.
Speaker 2:I drove it around to the front of the house and parked it no, I okay, never mind and uh, all I remember of this time is me and my brother getting out of the car laughing and this thing is fucking smoking.
Speaker 1:It's so overheated, it's just billowing smoke and I still don't get why you're trying to destroy your own car.
Speaker 2:I don't know, dude, because I was 16 and I don't know, I didn't pay anything for the car really and it just didn't mean anything to me. I always kept it really clean. I I, you know, took care of it aesthetically, kept that dookie brown shining I got two words for you, chris west alice no, I didn't live in west alice, I was south side bitch.
Speaker 2:But uh, we park it out in front and this thing's smoking. I'm like, uh, me and my brother are laughing about better, let this bitch cool down for a minute. And uh, we're walking in and we lived on a second second story duplex and I remember my mom being on the porch screaming your car's on fire, your car's on fire. And I'm like at that point, like I didn't even care. I felt like I was in a movie. It's like I kept walking, didn't even look back at it in slow motion, walked all the way, got all the way up in the place. My mom had already called the fire department there's flames, there were flames, it was. It was a full-on automobile fire. Wow, good work so the fire trucks pull up.
Speaker 2:You did what you came and uh, they're training new guys.
Speaker 1:Okay it's like nobody's car fire. It's outside, yep so like like two journeymen.
Speaker 2:Firefighters come to the scene and they have a couple of apprentices with them. I don't know, they might have just been ride-alongs, I don't know, but uh, they go well. When a car's on fire, this is what you got to do. The fire could be inside of the body panels, so they take out an ax and they ax my front fenders. They put fucking huge holes in it. Why? Because they said that you got to open them up to see if there's fire.
Speaker 2:That's so dumb. At this point I'm yelling at them. I'm like are you guys fucking serious? You guys are axing my car right now. And he goes, yeah. And then they hand the axes to the new guys and they say give it a whack, do every body panel on this car. So these kids went around Around the backside of the car.
Speaker 3:My trunk, my doors, your car is on fire.
Speaker 1:No, they probably put out the fire first, but then they had to make sure I'm pretty sure the fire was out by the time they got there.
Speaker 2:It was just smoldering at that point.
Speaker 3:But still, I mean after it being on fire at all how much is salvageable?
Speaker 2:All of it, All of it. You change the rubber parts and you fucking move on. It's steel man Recycleable. It's steel man, for recyclable, it's steel. It's not driving anymore, so I fucking watch these young firemen just have the time of their life. They're probably on their podcast telling the same story right now. That's crazy. I mean, they put dozens of ax holes in the side. So ridiculous. You know what?
Speaker 3:roof. Tony, you know everything. You know. You probably started the uh, the, the start of people that uh make this, uh, this place where you can go places and destroy things. They, those are the people that invented that, the panic rooms or whatever they're called. No, you go places yeah, you smash it, just take out aggression. Yeah, you started that with those those people, they thought of it, yeah so uh, this car would look so great setting up.
Speaker 2:So now in front of my house for like a week sat a car with dozens of ax holes in it. I didn't know what to do with it. Right, I'm not paying to get rid of it. So, uh, somebody in my family recommended that I called there was a thing called uh, the boys ranch.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, that they would buy any car, regardless of the shape, and the kids would fix them up and they would sell them, and this was a way for this organization, yeah, so to make money. So I call them and I say I got a car up for sale, you guys interested? And they go, what is it? I'm like it's 1986 plymouth reliant and they're like wait, I thought it was a give you don't.
Speaker 3:You don't sell that to them. They actually, you actually just give it to them. I mean, you take a tax, yeah, yeah, tax deduction from it and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll take it, you know.
Speaker 2:And they come to pick it up and they're like what happened to this thing? And I'm like, oh the fire. The firefighters had to make sure that there was no fire in the body panels. The guys looking at me like what the fuck are you talking about? He pops open the hood and I mean all the rubbers melted, anything that's plastic on his car is melted. All the hoses yeah everything inside the hood is just there wasn't a lot of that shit in them cars and uh.
Speaker 2:But uh, the guy's like dude, I don't know if I can take this, I'm like you can definitely take it. So they ended up taking it right. So after that I uh I then borrowed my mom's car for a while because I couldn't afford a new car for like six months and I got a new car. So a couple years later now I'm like 18 years old and I start working for the same company that my uncle got me this car from the. The company he works for, his co-worker his co-worker ends up being my mentor. The guy bought this from and I hadn't met him at this time. My uncle my uncle locked in the sale.
Speaker 2:If I know my uncle, he got the car for a hundred, sold it to me for two, you know and uh, uh, this dennis, and he was this old chunky dude big beard before big beards were a thing, sure, just hillbilly. And uh, he knew that he had sold me this car. But you know, four years earlier, but you didn't know okay.
Speaker 2:And uh, he starts talking about his first car ever and and he's like, hey, kid, you got a first car story. And I'm like, oh, you ain't going to believe this shit. And I tell him this story and he goes, you know, that was my kid's car. And I'm like, excuse me. He's like, yeah, I'm the one who sold that car to your Uncle, mike. And I'm like, oh, no way. I said, why did you sell it? And I'm like, oh, no way. I said why, why did you sell it? I'm like that thing ran like a champion until I started it on fire. And uh, he goes. Well, he goes.
Speaker 2:My kid, my kid, had a deal. He goes, I bought that kid that car. He is like I paid like a thousand bucks for that car. And uh, he goes that car. And uh, he goes.
Speaker 2:We had a deal that if he ever got caught drinking while he was driving the car, I bought him. I was, uh, I was taking it away and I was selling it. And he goes. And the kid tested me. And he is like, you don't test me. He goes, I took that car from him. I made him sign the the title over to me. And he's like, and I sold that thing to your uncle for 200 bucks and uh, I'm like, oh, you, you caught because I ended up becoming friends with this guy. I'm like you sold you sold andy's car for drinking and driving. He's like, well, he didn't even drink and drive yet. He's like I went to the park where he was sitting with his friends getting drunk and his car was the only way for them to get home he went up and grabbed it and he's like so I drove his car home, left him kids at the park and, uh, sold his car to your uncle so you could have a first car.
Speaker 2:And he's like that's how you treated it. He's like don't. He's like don't tell andy what you did to his car.
Speaker 3:He loved that car but to be honest, you really didn't do too bad. I mean, the fire department really raped your car, to be honest. Well, he was crashing, I might still be driving he's crashing into us I mean if I were to replace some rubber hoses, I may still be driving that car today, had I not started it on fire, you have to take the whole fucking engine apart there's not much to that engine I don't know about cars.
Speaker 3:It was about as big as a laundry basket I just feel like there's a lot of things that could melt, little tiny things that you have to replace. No, not in the older car. No, I don't know. I don't know. I can't even change.
Speaker 2:I've never changed the oil in my car, but I had so many great times in that car, though that was such a good car. Okay, did you have do?
Speaker 3:you have sex in it? No, I didn't. Well, that's not that cool then what did you do?
Speaker 1:masturbating it yeah, a lot okay those are the great times yeah, we did mainly while I was driving we took that, that the car I had the first car. We took it to drive-ins. It would fit like fucking nine, ten people in it. Yeah, like ridiculous.
Speaker 3:And could you fit that many people in it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like ridiculous, could you fit that many people in that car?
Speaker 3:So I put subs in the trunk.
Speaker 1:Sub sandwiches.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sub sandwiches, subway actually. I was so confident that that car was unbreakable.
Speaker 3:I threw the spare tire away to fit the subs in. Oh my gosh, so you uh was it. It was loud, and what rap? What do you? What kind of music? Jay-z blueprint album. You're pounding that shit in there yeah so you spent more money. The poorly installed windows. You spent more money on subwoofers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, to set on the fire, I spent more money here I spent more money on the amp than I did that whole car okay, and did you?
Speaker 3:those went on fire or did the axes? No, they weren't anywhere near the fire, I know, but the axes I heard were everywhere axe marks.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they did axe the trunk 15 times, but uh, the subs made it into the next car oh, you took them out.
Speaker 3:Okay, well then you, you lucked out there otherwise uh, recently.
Speaker 2:So I recently bought a car from my childhood, um, that my grandpa used to own well, not his car exactly just the same kind of car. And, uh, after I got that, I got even more nostalgic and I started. I started hunting the nation for a 1986 reliant k car and I. I was dating my wife during the time I had that car and uh, uh well you did.
Speaker 1:You guys did start dating right outside the womb, right you? Guys pretty much holding hands, holding hands, 17 minutes into birth.
Speaker 2:Holding hands into the, yeah, into this world, yeah, um. And she? She warned me that there would be no reliant K cars in our family.
Speaker 1:No sex in the champagne room after Not reliant.
Speaker 3:So that car is not red sex Okay, All right. So what do you miss it Very much.
Speaker 2:Very much. There was a brief moment in time where a cat lived in it. Oh my God.
Speaker 3:Yeah, is this before or after it got burnt and chopped apart by?
Speaker 2:firemen During yeah, that's how my first cat got cremated while it was alive.
Speaker 3:So that was weird. He was already like 10, whatever.
Speaker 1:Everything burned for a few years in that use it as a fire pit.
Speaker 3:Let's get in. Let's get in tony's car and start the engine on fire. It's so warm in there there's no heat.
Speaker 2:We used to do a lot of stupid shit in our cars, man back in the day the only thing is is I know that my kid's first car is not going to be like the terrible piece of shit.
Speaker 1:Just find my first car was my kid's first car is going to be self-driving I set this premonition probably will be when she was born, one of the first things I remembered thinking and saying to others is like I'm so glad I'm not going to have to teach her to drive, Okay.
Speaker 3:Chris, because there are going to be self-driving cars by the time she's driving. But her first car. She won't even need her license then, no. So how old is she again? Yeah, it's called the bus.
Speaker 1:She's eight. She's eight now, when do you start? Eight years.
Speaker 3:Eight years, you think is going to be a ton of self-driving cars, Only self-driving cars.
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 3:Never happened. You think the whole Okay. You think the majority of cars in eight years are going to be self-driving. Imagine a world, Imagine.
Speaker 1:Look, I'm doing this hand thing.
Speaker 2:Imagine, imagine a world. Yeah, you're doing jazz hands, I get it.
Speaker 1:Where all of the cars are run by carbureted motors and then, someone's like, by 1987 they're all going to be fuel injected by then and I was like you're crazy old man, that's foo foo science well, this is the next one. I think it's a big jump from fuel injection to carburetor, Carburetor motors to fuel injection was a pretty giant leap in automotive.
Speaker 2:You know the first year Chevy introduced the fuel injected motor Probably like 84, 86 inside the Reliant 1976.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, well, at some point someone was like I don't know the fuck you guys even talking about then? What about? There'll be a time. What about you?
Speaker 2:we have a calculator in your pocket, yeah, yeah, well, look at us now no, actually you can say yeah but the thing, is is you can still go buy an old school calculator, so they still they still have, so they did this cash for clunkers thing.
Speaker 1:They're just going to do the same thing for automated cars like here. Take this automated car pass, where they just pick you up in the car wherever, whenever.
Speaker 3:However, so you're saying that you just give us this and we'll give you 10 years free rides anywhere so there's gonna be no driver for ubers no, it'll all be automated okay, I don't think we're more than I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, eight years apparently.
Speaker 3:AI.
Speaker 1:Uber? I don't know.
Speaker 3:I don't think it'll happen that fast.
Speaker 1:but I do not think I'll have to teach my kid to drive. She probably will need to be taught, but I don't think she'll have to you know, what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:All right, I mean, I don't dismiss your enthusiasm for technology and the ultimate uprising of AI, because I love robots and computers and shit, I want a robot. I want my own robot.
Speaker 2:There's nothing I hate more in this world.
Speaker 1:I fucking hate, the fact that.
Speaker 2:I'm talking into an electronic right now, my wife says the same thing.
Speaker 3:She's terrified of robots or just freaks her out. I think it's amazing. It's the coolest thing ever. I feel like I'm going to be dead before I even see.
Speaker 1:No, you're going to see. You already are seeing shit, dude. Not enough, though. I don't like it. They said in 2000 and whatever.
Speaker 3:2020, 2020, there are going to be flying cars everywhere. Yeah, I ain't seeing one motherfucking flying car.
Speaker 1:If it is, it's on fire and flying off a ramp it's funny you said that because boeing, the airplane manufacturer, said they're they're starting processing and put a year out that they're going to have flying cars.
Speaker 3:But how do you another?
Speaker 1:where do you put?
Speaker 3:the. You know traffic. How do traffic-nize? If that's a word, gps dude, flying car GPS? I know, but how do you have lanes, how do you have paths? Gps?
Speaker 2:In the air. There are no lanes. I'm just saying yeah, but you can definitely drive into a house.
Speaker 3:They're doing it with airplanes.
Speaker 1:now Boeing aims to bring flying cars to Asia by 2030.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they said that 30 years ago. Well, they didn't say it like that, but they said that it's going to be.
Speaker 1:I mean, it seems like it should have been happening already.
Speaker 3:All right, Tony it does.
Speaker 1:It seems like we should have, like Jay said, fucking me George Jetson or in the back of the future movies.
Speaker 3:You're like fuck, dude, that's gonna be a thing. The hovercraft hoverboards, a fucking hover skateboard you can just no wheels. I ain't seen that shit. I've seen fucking one of those drones that you can fly around, but those are shit and they're very hard to fly.
Speaker 2:You just crash them.
Speaker 1:They're actually super easy.
Speaker 3:No, they are not.
Speaker 1:Well, next time.
Speaker 3:You want to race hover.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, everybody, that's my first car story. First car.
Speaker 3:Beautiful story, Tony. I appreciate it. Follow us on your choice of social media yeah, and listen up.
Speaker 2:Jay wants you to tell us about your first car story.
Speaker 3:Yes, I do. I want to hear your first car story. What car was it, when was it and how long did it last before it died?
Speaker 2:I do it all in separate comments. Down below. Down below, with the pointy emoji Outro music, I don't know, subscribe or whatever kids do nowadays.
Speaker 3:I don't know Whatever. Thanks for listening. I'm giving time for the outro music. We'll be right back.
