Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
He Tried A Jackie Chan Trip On A Cop And It Went About How You’d Expect
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We move into a new studio and use the chaos to explore a bigger theme: how control, comfort, and judgment slip when tension rises. A midnight jog spirals into a police swarm, a Miranda debate, and a hard look at rights, restraint, and responsibility.
• new room setup challenges and mic stand hassles
• what detention vs arrest vs Miranda really mean
• golf cart tickets, registration, insurance, and safety
• a fatal campground story reframing rules as safeguards
• late-night jog, mistaken identity, and a takedown
• free speech, flipping off cops, and lawsuit examples
• why calm choices beat bravado under pressure
• dine-and-dash consequences and making amends
New Studio Jitters And Setup Woes
SPEAKER_02Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.
SPEAKER_00Oh, nothing much. Just watching my buddy Chris frantically look for an ink pen. Why do you need an ink pen?
SPEAKER_02I need ink, man. Write things down. You go write things down. How are you gonna remember shit? Yeah. You have a great memory, Jay. It's on it's how many times have you had to go to the store to get a Wi-Fi or memory card?
Comfort, Change, And Mic Stand Drama
SPEAKER_01I mean, because you Oh, yeah, that happens. And I have like 15 memory cards, so it doesn't make any sense at all. Here we are. In a new podcast room. It feels great. It feels comfortable. How do you guys feel?
SPEAKER_02It's a new I'm very uncomfortable. I don't like change. Tony's aggravated about it. Super uncomfortable. I'm just a little uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_01He grabbed Tom's before we started, and he said, uh, fuck you guys, before he grabbed him.
SPEAKER_02I think we're sitting in a different arrangement too. But Tony thinks it's the same arrangement.
SPEAKER_01It's the same as my wife in her bed. She has to sleep on one side of the bed. If I get on that side, everything's over. You can't do it.
SPEAKER_02Well, now we're like, what are we facing now? South before we were facing north.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, the orientation of all this is really well.
SPEAKER_01Another thing too is there's not a giant table covering my entire body, and you guys just see my eyeballs. Do we agree?
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_01Right?
SPEAKER_00We told you to bring in phone books to sit on. You refused. This isn't on us.
SPEAKER_01But it isn't that how it was, though. Like you couldn't see my body at all. I mean in the old pack podcast room, because the table was to my neck, me sitting down.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I liked it though. At a place for my doodads and things. Yeah, I need it. We need a table.
SPEAKER_02I think we should get a table for right here.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00I don't think you're wrong. You know, I was sitting here for like the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how I'm going to get to my drink. Because this is a real problem. And I'm like, well, do I change the way that the mic stands set up on the table? And I'm like, well, if I do that, you know, then then when I swing it out, it's going to knock my drink. Like this is very problematic for me. Just calm down and everything will be okay.
Law Talk: Detained, Arrested, Miranda
SPEAKER_02We need to get some mic stands that come from above. Everything's got to come from above.
SPEAKER_01So I got a story to tell you guys. Um, this happened a couple years ago, and I wanted to ask you guys if you've ever been on the wrong side of the law when it was not your fault at all. Like when you killed that cat? Yeah. When I killed the cat. When I should have.
SPEAKER_02There's an APB out for a van and blood stains from Oscar.
SPEAKER_01The it was was this on was this on this podcast that I talked about that?
SPEAKER_02It never happened. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah, right. Okay.
SPEAKER_01But have you guys ever been on the wrong side of the law? No. I've never had a run-in with the law. So what does this mean? Wrong side, but you're in the right? Well, that's this what's what I'm gonna the story is all about.
SPEAKER_02Other you guys? Oh, I've been handcuffed. Good uh good. Yeah, more than you can count, right? I would say I was on the right side of uh common decency, but on apparently the wrong side of the law. I didn't get a ticket. I got handcuffed, I got a ride in a cop car, but I never got a ticket or or read my Miranda rights. They just violated mine.
SPEAKER_01But do you know how the Miranda rights rights work?
unknownRight?
SPEAKER_02Once they place you under the rest, they have to say it.
SPEAKER_01Why do they have to say that though? I don't know.
SPEAKER_02So you have to say you shut the hell up and don't.
SPEAKER_01The only reason they have to say you they can't arrest you without saying Miranda rights. The only reason they say that is because anything you say will be used against you. You can't they have to say it before they can ask you questions, basically. But they can arrest you without fucking telling you. No, they can't. Yes, they can.
SPEAKER_02No, they can't, it has nothing to do with being arrested. No, once they tell you you're under the rest. No, you're wrong. Being under arrest is the under the rest because you become like a second class citizen after you're once you're arrested, you have no rights. That's why they read you that last one is like shut the fuck up. Only because they ask you the questions. No, because once they detain you, they can detain you. They can detain you.
SPEAKER_01They can detain anyone they want. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Which is fucking fascinating.
SPEAKER_01They can get detain anyone, even if you are like in my case, the story I'm going to talk about, suspected of a crime, and you're not the crime was not even committed by you.
SPEAKER_02But they will hold you, they can hold you for like a pretty long time, but they will only they believe you did commit the crime, they'll read you your Miranda rights, at which point you're under arrest, and anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. They also remind you that you have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. But do you understand there's something else maybe? And then it's the do you understand these rights? And even answering that, they say you shouldn't do.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's it's all about answering questions. They want to ask you questions and they want to try to manipulate you in trying to get you to say something that you know gets you.
SPEAKER_00Well, it's just so that when it comes time you can be like, Well, I didn't mean to say that, or I didn't know that was being recorded, or they're just letting you know it's like it's like anything else. I mean, I don't I've never been in trouble. I don't even know how any of this works.
Tickets, Golf Carts, And Insurance
SPEAKER_02I heard you got a ticket. I got I bought some camping spots from you, and you sent me a copy of the receipt that included not only the fees for the camping spots I bought at that resort, but a citation, Mr. Tony, for something you had done which was against the rules or i.e. laws of your campground. What did you do?
SPEAKER_01Chris.
SPEAKER_02And you said straight up to me, no, what did you say? No rent a cop gonna tell me how to ride my go-kart of the sort. Pretty much, pretty much. There was the music from 36 Mafia playing in the background when you told me that story. It just started.
SPEAKER_00I got a ticket for my golf cart not being registered. What? That's pretty serious. It's not on the road. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01No, because you have to register a golf cart that's not driven on an approach.
SPEAKER_00You have to register it with the park.
SPEAKER_02It's like a boat and the DNR and the park are the party rangers. Their money and a DNR are like the top levels of law enforcement. That's true.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't think it costs money to register it with the cart with the park. It might, I don't know. Um it has to. That's the reason why they want you to register it. No, they they need you to provide them with proof that it's insured. You have to insure your car? Your cart? Yeah. All three of mine. How much is insurance for a cart? One cart. It's like ten bucks a year. He's like, I don't know. That's it. Yeah. It like it's long.
SPEAKER_02Well, think about how much damage you can do. Like what?
SPEAKER_00Oops, I accidentally ran over part of the mini golf course? Like well, like every three years, somebody dies on a golf cart in our camp composition.
SPEAKER_02In the entire world. No, at that cam cart.
SPEAKER_01Get the fuck out of here, bro.
SPEAKER_02Do you remember how much drunk driving I did on that golf cart?
SPEAKER_01Let me let me ask you this. How what was the do you know the story of the last person that died? How did they die? Absolutely. How did they die?
Risk And Tragedy At The Campground
SPEAKER_00Uh, she was sitting on the back of the golf cart. You really this is true. Yeah. Okay. Everybody was intoxicated. And when you so we have a big building that that's the bar and then the basement's the arcade and shit like that. And you c you kind of got a veer around it, and there's like a roundabout there. Um, they were going around that turn real fast, real drunk, and she fell off the back of the golf cart, and they lined the flower beds with, you know, like big boulders, and she smashed her head on a boulder and literally died laying there. Oh my god. She was a mother of eight. Oh with the youngest one being like two or three years old. That's tragic.
SPEAKER_02That is tragic.
SPEAKER_00So, yeah, they want to make sure you're insured because uh I'm sure whoever was driving that uh really, I mean, got sued like fucking crazy. And I'm sure I'm sure in that instance her family probably came after the park and sued the park for not enforcing speed limits or whatever the fuck. Yeah. So yeah, they want to make sure all these motor vehicles that are driving through the park, while there's also kids playing in every street every ten feet, um, all have insurance. And all my shit's insured. I just never took it up and got the sticker. Alright. So criminal.
SPEAKER_01My my story has nothing to do with with uh carts or anything in a park.
Graffiti, Statutes, And Street Smarts
SPEAKER_00I've uh I've never had a run-in with an officer above and beyond uh getting like pulled over for speeding and being polite, taking my ticket and moving on with my life.
SPEAKER_01But you still you could have been arrested if you were to talk back to the cop under a speeding violation. Or if they thought you robbed the grocery store.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I I just never been in that position. I mean, I used to be a semi-professional graffiti artist. Yeah. Going around defacing public property on a regular basis. You never. I mean, this is criminals. I got life, but never been caught. Yeah, before this gets released, I have to find out what the statute of limitations are. But I've done I've committed many uh felonies.
SPEAKER_02Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, you haven't. No, you haven't. Uh don't say anything like that. For the sake of argument.
SPEAKER_00For the saith of argument, thank you. But you know, defacing uh defacing government property, I mean, that's that's an arrestable offense immediately. But I like to think that anytime I've ever done criminal things, I've always been too smart for the law. Always outsmart in the law.
Left At The Bar And The Long Jog
SPEAKER_01So I I've been I've been I've I've outsmarted the law as well as you. Not as many times, maybe. So I highly doubt that. Not as many times, maybe. What are you trying to say? I'm stupid. Don't answer that. Okay. So let me let me break this story down for you real quick. I was at uh a local bar. I was at a local bar about two, three miles away from my house. And I was with a bunch of friends, and I don't know exactly how we got split up, but for some reason I wasn't driving and they left me at the bar.
SPEAKER_02Maybe it was me saying this has happened so many times. I've been to the bar with you. I know why your friends left you. Shut up. I've left, and the friends left with you are like, dude, don't go yet, don't go yet. Don't leave me alone with him.
SPEAKER_01I just I think I think I was I was feeling the vibes at this bar, and everyone wanted to leave, but it was like I couldn't leave. I had to stay there and understand what these vibes are coming. I just wanted to be there. So they left me and I had to get home. And it was about two miles, two or three miles away, like I said. So I was like, fuck it. I'm just gonna, you know, I I was calling them up and said, fuck it, I'm just gonna go walk home. So I started walking home, and then I was, you know, I was a little mad, so then I started jogging.
SPEAKER_00I get when I when I get mad, let me guess you fit the description of somebody who just stole the Ferrari. You would have to see the way Jay normally dresses to understand that.
SPEAKER_01Now I get it. Okay, I see what you're coming from.
SPEAKER_00You've wearing all your Puma Ferrari gear. You could be good going out Ferrari gear.
SPEAKER_01Have you ever seen have you ever seen someone that owns a very expensive car wear everything that that car represents? No, no, because I want a Ferrari or jogging.
SPEAKER_02That's good at 1 30 in the morning.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, job, yeah. So my angry self, when I get angry, I like to I like to run because I could run forever. I'm like, I'm like gump. I'm a gumping it. I was gumping it home. And I think just screaming, Jenny.
SPEAKER_02I've run home a lot. I like it too. I can run forever. And then it helps your hangover.
The Chase, The Trip, And The Takedown
SPEAKER_01You think so? Or does that like just like bleed out your work? Sure, your alcohol. Yeah. So I've been I've been running home for the for the last probably 25 minutes, and I was just frustrated, and I was getting more frustrated that I'm still so far away from home and I'm still running. And then I start hearing behind me someone yell, Hey, hey, stop, hey, stop. So I didn't even turn around. I just I I lifted my hand and then I flipped them off. And I said, Fuck you, hey, turn it around. So I kept running. And then all of a sudden I hear behind me this fucking race car of a person running at me, and then I I feel like okay, now it's on. I was like, I I had no idea what was going on. I didn't know who the fuck the person was, and I could just hear their footsteps getting closer and closer and closer, and then I did what anyone else would do. Shot him. Yeah, when I conceal carry and drag home. I uh I dropped to the ground and lifted my right leg up to trip him. So right when he got really close to me, like I used to do shit to my brother when he used to chase me around the yard because he wanted to fucking kill me when we're younger, and he was like three feet taller than me, and I was a fucking midget. He would chase me around and then right before that word because he is one. Shut up. Right before he would get me, I would just drop to the ground, lift my leg up, and he would trip over my leg. I would turn around, run back the other way, and he couldn't get me. So this is what I did to this guy. So I right before he got to me, I lifted my I dropped to the ground, lifted my leg up, tripped him, turned around, and I was ready to just punch him in the face and knock him out because he was on the ground, vulnerable. And I looked, he's a fucking cop. A cop was chasing me. He never turned on his lights, nothing, he was announced himself as no, no, he just said, Hey, stop!
SPEAKER_00And then, well, this is what he said before I tripped him. You didn't hear all the keys and walkie-talkies clanking and the let's concentrate also about how this cop caught him.
SPEAKER_01I was so angry. Well, it would there's the thing. After I did that, I was in a I was in an area where, okay, so an area where there were one side, so there was a median, and then on the side of the street that I was running, there was a bunch of uh there was uh a bush, a bunch of bushes. So I couldn't see on the left side of me at all. It was just uh the street and then behind me was all was all clear, and then the front of me was clear, but like on the side of me was fucking bushes and I couldn't see shit. So I I didn't know what was going on. So um he he he doesn't even get up before I get completely swarm uh swarmed by like about five or six cops, and they take me to the ground. Okay go ahead. And they shove my face into the asphalt of the ground and come and repeatedly push it and really like literally like drag my face into the ground, complete just like sliding my face into the ground, and I literally had rocks and rubble and shit.
SPEAKER_00That's fucking bullshit, dude. I don't understand why they would do that to you for only physically assaulting a police officer. Well, he was chasing me.
Rights, Profiling, And Lawsuit Talk
SPEAKER_01He he ran after me literally. He didn't say I you know what he did. Well, I didn't do anything wrong.
SPEAKER_02I refuse to believe there was this many cops around, and none of them had the lights on.
SPEAKER_01They came out of the bushes, man. They were they were fucking running. So they had to be in the middle of it. It makes more sense when the story gets a little bit further.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay. You were in the middle of an undercover operation. I mean, if they're popping out of bushes.
SPEAKER_01Well, I don't know if they came out of the bushes. I was ready to punch the guy on the ground, saw he was a cop, stopped, and then kind of just like was dumbfounded, and then I was tackled from behind, so they could have came from anywhere. I'm thinking they came out of the bushes to the left of me. That's my assumption. I mean, they're coming out of fucking sewers and shit like ninja turtles. I don't fucking know where they came from. So they took me to the ground and they were just rubbing my face in the fucking cement, and they just had fun doing it.
SPEAKER_02Like bad dog, bad, bad dog.
SPEAKER_01Basically, here's a treat. Don't fucking move. Kicking me, knocking me down, and then I'm just I'm screaming, what the fuck? What it what what did I do? He came after me. What what happened? What okay, and then after the assault and the rape happened of the cops on my own. Yeah, you raped all six of them, I'm sure. They raped me. Uh they said what you you fit the description of a uh local burglar of a house and you I and you're literally all in sweatpants.
SPEAKER_00Like you obviously can't hide anything, any stolen goods.
SPEAKER_01Well, I and okay, so I don't okay.
SPEAKER_02I don't understand why they were you fit the description aside from that you were running in the street, probably in the same area.
SPEAKER_01I have no idea. I have no I still don't know. I they didn't they didn't get it.
SPEAKER_02You're not even black though. So like I don't get why you're saying you got profiled.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean right away I was I was profiled.
SPEAKER_02I felt like um so they throw you in handcuffs right away after they rubbed your face in the dirt, or they're like lean up against the car.
SPEAKER_01No, there was there was no cars there. They were they were obviously chasing a burglar or something. There was no cars, they were all on foot.
SPEAKER_02So you were the decoy, and then the other guy got away, bro.
SPEAKER_01Right? So uh my face was fucked up, it was all bleeding. Um it was and the even the cop that I tripped, he's he was cool with it. He was like, he was like, Yeah, we I mean it took like two minutes for them to understand that it was not me. It was it didn't take long. I didn't even put they didn't put me in handcuffs. Like it was literally like the reason why I think that um he started running towards me and they all the cops came was because I was like I flipped them off. Often told him to fuck off, and I was jogging.
SPEAKER_00Which which is technically I was mad at the time, technically, and I didn't want to hear anyone's voice but my own. No, and in all honesty, you're protected by the Second Amendment. Yeah, I couldn't say that. By flipping them off.
No Paperwork, No Ride, Only Scrapes
SPEAKER_01Isn't that the what is the Second Amendment freedom of speech? You can flip off, you can flip off the floor.
SPEAKER_00You're allowed to flip off a cop. Okay. Oh yeah. 100%. It's it's not illegal. I just watched a whole story about a dude who on Facebook Reels. Who sued is on YouTube. My kid actually showed it to me. I watch those all the time.
SPEAKER_01You can flip them off, you can say flip.
SPEAKER_00In traffic, and uh the cop was running radar and he flipped the cop off. Yeah, yeah. And the cop came and pulled him over and arrested him and detained him for like six hours. And uh for giving him the bird, yeah. And that's an unlawful detainment, so he can actually sue the police department. He won like$180,000.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it that takes away from his uh you know, his life that six hours of detainment.
SPEAKER_00That was the six hours where he was about to get rich.
SPEAKER_01I noticed. Yeah, that's it's crazy. People do this all the time. It's called uh what do they call these people? Ah, fuck.
SPEAKER_00Forgot the name of it. Yeah, I've been flipping off every cop. Yeah. Like, I'm trying to get some of this lawsuit money.
SPEAKER_03Hmm.
SPEAKER_01I mean I don't want to ever have to sue anybody. You really gotta get hurt. I mean, the the stipulation, it depends on the state and the city too. Feelings, feelings uh are worth a lot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. A lot of money. Like hundreds of thousands of dollars a minute.
SPEAKER_00Actually, hurt feelings are are you know much easier to win a lawsuit against than you know, like hurting your arm. Actual damages. Like who gives a shit about your arm? Your arm gets better, like your feelings, those they're fucked forever. You know what?
SPEAKER_02Maybe I had You could fix a broken bone, but you can't fix a hurt feeling.
SPEAKER_01Maybe I had a lawsuit because the last 10 minutes that I jogged home after I was let go.
Was Tripping Him Wrong
SPEAKER_02They didn't drive you home. I cried. They didn't drive you home. Fuck no. They didn't you didn't ask them to give you a fucking ride. Because they were on the continue hunt of they didn't even have their vehicles.
SPEAKER_00No, they had nothing. It was like I said, they were they were in the middle of a manhunt for a different person in a red puma suit. I don't know what it was.
SPEAKER_02Running down National Avenue?
SPEAKER_01I don't know what it was, but that that was so strange. And I told my wife this, and she's like, that's a jigat.
SPEAKER_02She didn't be drinking at a bar and and then stuff to get sympathy from your wife.
SPEAKER_01Dude, my face was fucked up. My whole side of my face. She probably didn't believe your story either. Look like I was burnt. Did you ever get a copy of the police report? You got no documentation on this. No, they all they all like they turned to cockroaches. They all fucking disappeared into the bushes after they were like, okay, you're fine, go. See you later. They just disappeared. I you know, I wasn't the one to be like, give me your name and badge number. Your name and badge. Like, I didn't know what to do. I was dumbfounded. And that was also drinking.
SPEAKER_00So I was like, I feel like this totally didn't happen. I feel like you fell while you were running, and you were too embarrassed to go home with a story of my I was uncoordinated because all the white claws I drank. That sounds weird. I actually fell into a curb. That does sound like actuality.
SPEAKER_02But he didn't actually have any money, so they just beat him up a little bit and let him go.
SPEAKER_00So you just went home and you're like, I was brutalized by the police.
SPEAKER_02There's like eight of them.
SPEAKER_00I bet you I had a like eight of them. They were coming out of every bush.
SPEAKER_02I had I Jackie Chan tripped them, but it didn't work.
SPEAKER_00Jackie Chan. Hunt, you know my move, the one where I dropped to the ground and slang sweep. Remember the one I always tell you about.
Dine-And-Dash Tales And Consequences
SPEAKER_01Fuck you. It really happened. I try I was proud of myself for fucking this guy up and ready to just destroy him on the ground because I had the upper hand. I was taller than him. And I could just pound it on him on the ground. But I didn't know what to do when he was when he tased her and tased your ass and made your heart stop. Imagine.
SPEAKER_02Imagine if I punched him. He would have tased you. He would have shot me. No, no Berlin police will never shoot. Yeah, this wasn't a Berlin. They don't even carry guns, I don't think.
SPEAKER_01They don't. Maybe they do. They carry assault rifles. I've seen it in my place. So now was I in the wrong for um. Tripping your sweet ass leg sweep on this officer.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. You should have never done that. Really? Yeah, no. Even if it was an attacker, all you do is aggravate them. You just gotta give people what they want and move on.
SPEAKER_01If it was really an attacker, I had the upper hand, like I said. And all I had to do was give him a fucking elbow. Uh what do you call these? Crady chop. No, you just you you do the fucking the flying elbow? Yeah, you drop down on. I could have done anything I wanted. He was on the ground. He was on the ground, you're unbuttoning his pants. Give it up! Give it up! Talking about he had hold he was had he had SWAT gear on. I couldn't no, I'm kidding. But hey, uh no, so what happened there, bro?
SPEAKER_02We're done. Something happened. It's over. It's over. No, you turned it off or something. You're back.
SPEAKER_01Oh shit. Yeah, I did. What'd you do? I hit the on on off switch. My last one didn't my last one was broken on off switch, and I switched to the one that were actually works, and now it fucked with me.
SPEAKER_02Interesting.
SPEAKER_01So uh I guess we'll wrap this this episode up because this is all I gotta say, unless you guys got something else to put towards this episode. No, man.
SPEAKER_02You got nothing else. That was it? That was it. You've never been in any other more Oh my god, yeah. But that was for stuff you actually did, something illegal?
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah. I mean, there was times where I dined and ditched, you know. I I mean was a bad kid, man. I did I I did I don't respect and real piece of shit, too. I know, dude. What am I my brother always fucks with me? He's like Dude, what is your fucking issue right now? I'm trying to fix the mic. Okay, it's done. I wanted to do this though, really. No, my brother always fucks with me. He's like, Jay, don't you just love uh so I dined and ditched. I got a mushroom and swish at uh George Webb's.
SPEAKER_02He's having George Webb's the waitress who makes like$14 a night has to buy Jay's$7.99 mushroom swiss now.
Night Running, Neighborhoods, And Perspective
SPEAKER_01This is hey, remember I talked about day living uh moving out when I was 17? This is when my my rice was all moldy and I needed to get actually real food. So I went to George Webb's. I didn't have money. So me and my friend were like, let's just go and run and grab something. Ran out. Uh and my brother always fucks to me. He's like, how was that$250? Because it cost$250. My ticket was$250. How was that$250 mushroom space? How'd they catch you? Well, basically, we did the dumbest thing you could ever do. We sat down You left your wallet. That would be even worse. There was a door that we got in on uh the George Webb's how it was situated. The door we sat next to the door that was closest to the uh the the uh parking lot. Oh, so they already called the cops, and it was late at night, so that side was locked. So what we did is we kept unlocking that door, or we unlocked the door uh to to flee that that door, but for some reason they had that door locked. So every time we unlock it, unlocked it, they would lock it. So basically, she'd come around and say, How you guys doing? You need to refill in your soda. She noticed the door was unlocked and she'd lock it again.
SPEAKER_00Which which George Webbs is this?
SPEAKER_01Come on, man. Really? The one in New Berlin? No, he can't incriminate himself. This is this is not in New Berlin. This happened to you. This is when I lived in Milwaukee. It was in Milwaukee somewhere.
SPEAKER_00So so the one on Oklahoma or the one on Greenfield? They're not gonna come after you anymore. You're already ticking. You already paid the ticket. You're already paid the ticket.
SPEAKER_01I'm trying to think which one it was. Okay? Shush. Greenfield? Is it the one on Beloit? No, it was it was on uh I think it was on uh the first one he said.
SPEAKER_0092nd in Oklahoma.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because I lived by 89 in Oklahoma.
SPEAKER_00Bad move. They don't fuck around in that one. It's Milwaukee.
SPEAKER_01Is that not Milwaukee? I don't think so. What is it? West Allis. Is it okay? Anyway, they locked the door, we unlocked it, they unlock it again, so they knew something was up. So I fucking eight.
SPEAKER_02You just unlock it as you're trying to leave instead of preemptively seven times.
SPEAKER_01You know what's funny is uh they they booked me and uh my friend that was driving, they made him go back to the George Webb's, pay, tip, and say sorry to everyone say sorry to everyone that was there. I actually didn't made me even go back there. And I was like, oh, dude, I'm sorry, man. I you want me to pay for your meal?
SPEAKER_00Do you wanna do you wanna take this show on the road and go there right now? No, I guarantee you the same waitress is still working.
SPEAKER_01Listen to me.
SPEAKER_00I doubt it.
SPEAKER_0117 and I'm 44. Do the math. She's probably dead. She still works there. And I think she was old too, so yeah. Oh yeah. Uh bes besides that, uh, everything else. Yeah, everything else was just dumb, disorderly conduct, and you know, fighting my brother out in the open. Sounds terrible. Yeah. But hey, we we do what we do.
SPEAKER_02Well, that'll teach you for running around.
SPEAKER_01Running around where? At night. Oh, yeah, at like 1.30.
SPEAKER_00It's unsafe for people to do that. You never do that. Yeah, Jay, you need to get your life together.
SPEAKER_01But guess what? I wasn't running like I was running from a uh like a scene of a burn or uh something trying to attack me. I was jogging like an athlete. I was an athlete jogging like a marathon.
Closing Banter And Sign-Off
SPEAKER_02In dark clothes on an onlet street at 1.30 in the morning.
SPEAKER_01Maybe that. And maybe I just didn't I should have been in the right neighborhood. I was in the wrong neighborhood at the wrong time. A white guy in New Berlin at 1.30 in the morning, cause of disaster.
SPEAKER_02Gets them every time.
SPEAKER_01I didn't know what to do, and I got I got fucked up. So, you know, I mean, racist happens in every color.
SPEAKER_00I'm glad to see your face healed up.
SPEAKER_01It didn't really. You see my face? It doesn't look too good, does it? You still got a piece of gravel stuck between your eyes. No one under that's an inside joke. No one understands it.
SPEAKER_02You people are inside. Thanks for listening to Top Shelf Stories. Jay, Chris, and Tony.
