From Deer Stands To Strip Bars: A Teenage Hunt Gone Sideways

We trade a wild northwoods hunting story for a sober look at risk, consent, and how our 90s upbringings shape the way we parent now. It’s raw, funny, and honest about drunk driving, “entertainment” bars, a cold cabin, and a mushroom-laced pizza that should never have happened.

• generational contrast between freedom and safety
• drunk driving on the way to hunt
• smoke-choked bar and first exposure to adult spaces
• being refused entry and sent with a stranger
• long cold night alone at the cabin
• secrecy on the ride home
• nonconsensual psychedelics while babysitting
• trespassing and stealing a treestand
• cooking wild game and complicated nostalgia
• clearer boundaries for modern parenting

Transcript

Setting The Stage

SPEAKER_04 0:00

Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony.

Generational Gaps And Money

SPEAKER_01 0:24

What's good, my brothers? What's up, Tony? Been a minute. Welcome to this week's episode of Top Shelf Stories. I'm your host, Tony. Today I'm gonna tell you a little story about my childhood. What makes my childhood different than my kids' childhood? Money. So I I seen something on Facebook the other day, and uh somebody says some wild ass story about when I was a kid, when I was 15 years old, I was stealing my mom's car at night, crashing it, parking it in a garage, and acting like it wasn't me. You did this? No, I didn't know this. People were putting well, I actually I was involved in that, but you walk in the garage and go, What did you do? And they go, My 15-year-old, I have to watch take the garbage out because it's dark. You know, just the difference in generations. And I was just thinking about when I was my kid's age. Uh, it was so my kid's 13 now, and when I was 13, it was my second year deer hunting. That's how I know what you know when this was. So I was the same age as my kid. You go by that when your age ranges about when you've killed a deer.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

I was 23 when I first hit my huge buck. And then I hit my 10 pointer when I was 28.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

It was actually 32.

SPEAKER_04 1:53

My dad did recently use that same math when we at Risk Miss this year because someone asked where the deer head that used to be in the bathroom went. He's like, uh, that what year was that? And he's like, Well, I was this age when I shot it.

Deer Season In Wisconsin

SPEAKER_01 2:07

So when I was 13 years old, I went I went uh hunting with a family friend way up in the north woods of Wisconsin. And up in the North Woods, uh there's something that they do during deer season. They they bring all these women in to these little local bars and they turn these little local shithole Northwoods bars into uh deer hunting strip clubs. Who brings the women in? The owners of the bar. And where do these women come from? Wherever they're prostituting at the time. No, usually like a big city, they go to a strip club down here and they go, you know, hey, really? You want to come up north for the weekend? I guarantee you you'll get, you know, whatever, bunch of cash.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

So you never really heard of a pimp, huh? So the bar owner calls the pimp for the entertainment. It's it's all held as well.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

I imagine it goes something along the lines of hey, uh, I got a bunch of deer hunters coming to the bar this weekend. Do you got some bitches I can get on loan?

SPEAKER_04 3:18

For the weekend. He's like, you gotta just sort of like we did with the comedian. We had to have him put, we had her put uh we had to buy her a meal. You did.

unknown 3:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:29

But yeah, it's a whole arrangement, Jay. You'd not you've not experienced this.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

I know uh well, I never went deer hunting first, second, I don't know, hookers. You would be hilarious deer hunting. They're not real hookers. I'd probably accidentally shoot you.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

I don't think you'd want me to be well they probably are real hookers.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

Deer hunting. They're not acting as hookers up there, though.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

No, they're just they're just entertainment, they're just there for entertainment.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

And they're not fucking hunters.

SPEAKER_04 3:57

But one or two stories getting around opening weekend about how Billy took home one of the entertainers. Yeah. And had his way with her. We'll really get the crowds going for the following weekends of deer hunt. But yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Yeah, so I'm uh I'm 13 years old and I'm there with uh um a family friend took me hunting. I mean, obviously he's 20 years older than me, so he's in his 30s at the time. And uh he hunts with his two brothers, and he's the youngest, so I'm I'm there with a couple adults.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

That could be your dads, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

You know, a 34-year-old, uh 38-year-old, and a 42-year-old, or whatever, whatever the difference is with them. So I'm there with actual what you would think is like uh I don't I don't know what the word I'm looking for is like responsible adults. That's exactly it. Not up north. My mom as a child let me go up north with three responsible adults. Couldn't do that nowadays. No, so it starts out, it starts out there's no way. I just think it's something bad. It starts out there on the drive up. You know, we leave early Friday morning.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

The amount of dubotchery these men are about to get into going up north deer hunting, the women's have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

So there's some things that I'll never forget about this time. Uh, this particular gentleman drank bottles of Miller High Life. And a lot of them. Especially up north deer. So while he was driving, he didn't want people to know he was drinking a bottle of Miller High Life. I mean, it makes sense. It checks out, it turns out it's illegal. I found that out later in life. Uh, so he would cram the bottle into a glove. So the whole neck of the bottle is still hanging on.

SPEAKER_04 5:59

So he's holding onto a glove in the neck of a bottle.

SPEAKER_01 6:02

And he goes, he goes, When I put it in a glove, the people driving next to us have no idea what it is.

SPEAKER_04 6:10

I mean, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yeah. So it was shit like that.

SPEAKER_02 6:14

So until you're drinking a glove.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

He kills a 12-pack on the ride up north. So now I'm a 13-year-old thinking I'm about to have the time of my life. And I'm driving with somebody who's fucking shit-faced. So this drinking goes out. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

When you're 13, you you think anyone that's drunk is shit faced. Oh yeah. Acting a little different. My kid says the same thing to me. Dad, why are you so drunk? I'm like, I had a beer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

No, I get that. Talking about at the you know, you know, he was also the kind of guy, he tosses me a beer. I'm 13 years old. I'm like, you ain't gonna tell my mom, are you?

SPEAKER_02 6:54

Did you actually drink it?

First Beer At Thirteen

The Bar With “Entertainment”

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Some of it. It was an acquired taste when you're 13. No, you don't like it. Yeah, it's terrible. It's like you're just drinking it because all these adult men that you're around are fucking smashing them, and you're like, What I should probably do this too, right? It's called peer pressure. Yeah. But uh Saturday night rolls around. We went hunting through the day. Uh they drank all day. Full coolers in the woods with them. Sure. So they're trashed. We're ready to go out to get food to eat dinner. I'm starving, I'm 13, I'm a bottomless pit. Like, these adult men don't bring snacks with them, you know? No, they're beer snacks. They got pork chops in a can. So I am looking the most forward to dinner. So we go to this little bar, right? We all eat, we all get our cheeseburgers, we all eat. Um one of the guys says, Oh, you hear about uh I'm just gonna use a fucking random name, but you hear the dancing clam down there has strippers this weekend for deer hunting? And the guys are like, No, we didn't hear that. It's like, oh yeah, you should go check it out. It's some good ones. So these guys are like, I'm gonna get you in. And I'm like, Well, I'm 13 years old, I don't think I can pass as an adult yet. And uh they're like, if anybody asks, you're my son, and in Wisconsin, I can take you wherever the fuck I want as a son. So we go to this bar, we open the door, and all I remember is being mortified, right?

SPEAKER_02 8:52

What girl you saw the girls naked right away?

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yes, smoke-filled, loud. So much smoke, so loud. Men hooting, girls half dressed. And it's not a proper strip club. There's no stage. No, it's just the strip club is around the bar. They're walking around on the bar dancing.

SPEAKER_04 9:13

We used to at least have the distinction and call them meat raffles because the girls sold meat raffle tickets, also. Like that was how you would get away with it in like the not-so-up north area, is the girls would just be there to do a meat raffle. So they'd like have a box where they would sell tickets so you could buy to win their like they had meat, like smoked sausages, and this and the other thing you would take home as a meat raffle. But the girls that did it were damn basically strippers, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

That would walk around in the bar. So, so I do believe this was the first naked woman I've ever seen. Like full naked, had her socks on because obviously she's dancing on a sticky bar.

SPEAKER_04 9:59

Yeah.

Not Getting In And Parking Lot Chaos

SPEAKER_01 9:59

You don't want to go barefoot, that's how you get warts. But uh, these fucking people up there, and this bar's packed, and he's talking to the guy at the front, like he has little folding chairs set up right inside the door, and he's collecting five bucks ahead to get in. Sure. And uh he's trying to pay for me, and the guy at the door keeps saying, You cannot bring this kid in here. And he's like, It's my son, it's fine. He can come in, right? And uh he's like, he cannot come in here. He's like, these women are doing nasty shit. And I'm watching this girl on the bar, and these guys on the bar are spinning quarters on the bar, and this chick is squatting down trying to pick him up with her vagina, with her vagina. Oh god, I wouldn't even want to see that. And it's the quarter game when she got one, like the whole the whole bar erupted in applause, and it was like it was like the Packers just won the Super Bowl in that bar. And I'm just standing there, I can't stop watching this because I'm seeing my first set of real boobs. And uh they don't let me in. That was the ultimate decision.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

So you got to get in.

The Stranger’s Ride Home

SPEAKER_01 11:26

You got to see all of this while he's like standing at the door. A four-minute argument between this dude who's a friend of the family and some up north hillbilly who who's kind of on the fence about whether or not he should let me in. It keeps going back and forth. So they keep going back and forth, and the guys I'm with are fucking hammer drunk. And we go out into the parking lot, his two brothers stayed in, and uh me and this gentleman go out into the parking lot, and he's he's uh really, really drunk at this point. He's been drinking since eight o'clock in the morning. It's now like 10 p.m. He's like, Why'd you fuck up like night, man? Kick it in the bar, you little shit. So we're standing in in the parking lot, and there's a guy walking out. Is it seven and a half degrees outside at this point? Oh yeah, no, it's fucking freezing. So there's a guy walking out, and he goes, You tried bringing a kid in here? And he's like, Yeah. He's like, You won't let him in. And the guy goes, Oh, where are you guys staying? And he tells him where we're staying. It was uh it was technically this little resort that this guy's family owned, like one of the up north lakes, and there's like seven. The guy coming out of the bar owned it. No, the guy, the guys I was with owned this little place. So when he said, he goes, Oh, we're staying over at uh whatever it is, East Shore Resort. Sure. He goes, Oh, I drive right by there on my way home. You want me to take the kid home? And he goes, Yeah, thanks, man. And he told me to go with this fucking guy.

SPEAKER_04 13:22

Jesus Christ. Oh, God, Tony. You gotta be kidding me.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

No, this is not a joke. No way. This is not a joke. Is this guy in your head drunk too? He was definitely drunk. He was leaving a strip club.

SPEAKER_04 13:35

Well, sure. I've gone to strip clubs sober before. Not up north, though. But not up north game. Not up deer hunting, no. Uh how old is this guy now? So I don't know. I was 50, 60, is this guy gray hair? He could have been a hundred. What kind of car?

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Okay, you can pick up not only did you see your first boob in a vagina, you nearly kidnapped. You're gonna see your first mandic. Yeah, more that.

SPEAKER_04 14:00

Bro, all the hardened up playing with the manic club.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

He got to watch these fucking whores pick up quarters with their pussies, and now he's like, here, take this kid.

SPEAKER_02 14:12

Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 14:14

How far of a drive is this?

SPEAKER_01 14:16

20 minutes.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Okay, maybe more northwoods. Not a not another headlight in sight for miles. Nothing. 16 six degrees outside. And uh Saturday night, 1994.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Yeah, not 93, but yeah. I have no. And I'm a defenseless 13-year-old. This grown man literally could have done anything he wanted with me. And I don't know what happened. My memory just blocked out the whole ride home. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 14:52

Nothing happened. He just drove you home, I'm sure of it.

Long Cold Night At The Cabin

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Yeah, I mean, I'm sure one day my psychologist is gonna open up the floodgates to what really happened, but in my head right now, I just got a regular ride home. And uh, I got dropped off at a fucking cabin. Then you've never been at you even have a key to the place or shit. Well, it wasn't it wasn't locked, but I didn't know like how to get the fucking wood-burning stove running. So I'm just sitting in a cold fucking room. Yeah, there was no radio phones, there's no TV.

SPEAKER_04 15:25

No, no, nothing. There was probably not even hot water going.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

There was there was a drop toilet on the yard. There was like C, F, and G of an old encyclopedia in there. So I just had to start fucking looking shit up.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Oh wow. And and them guys got home at three o'clock in the morning. It was probably fucking 20 degrees inside that cabin. Jesus. Like, would you turn on the fucking fire, kid? They're like, we thought it'd be warm when we got back.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

They're like, what's wrong with you? What the fuck were you doing this whole time? You're starving. There's no food. Oh, it's miserable. There's no fucking way me at their team would have survived this.

SPEAKER_01 16:13

And uh there's no way. So the next morning, six o'clock in the morning.

The Sunday Hunt And Gag Order

SPEAKER_04 16:17

Going deer hunting.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Back out in the woods hunting.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

Yeah, I mean, that's that's it.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

We come home Sunday night, and on the ride home, uh, this dude looks at me. No deer.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

No deer.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

No, we we actually did shoot deer that year. I didn't shoot a deer, but they did. But uh, so we came home with deer, so there was actually proof of us hunting.

SPEAKER_04 16:40

Don't ever tell anybody anything that fucking happened up to your kid.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

He goes, he goes, hey, do me a favor.

SPEAKER_04 16:45

Don't tell nobody nothing about it.

SPEAKER_01 16:46

Don't tell your mom about the bar thing and the ride home with the guy.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Hey, so you said this in the beginning. Who were they uh in relationship to you again?

Who This “Uncle” Really Was

SPEAKER_01 16:55

They so it's it's kind of a long story. But the this this guy was one of my mom's best friends' husbands. They they had been friends since like middle school, all of them. And the other two are just friends of his? They were his brothers. Oh, okay. Who were older. No relation then. No relation. So you're was your and I I probably have another 10 stories about the wildest shit that this guy has pulled with me in my life.

SPEAKER_04 17:36

Well, he was like the cool uncle then, kind of. Sorta. But also like, what the fuck am I being left with this guy again for?

SPEAKER_02 17:44

Well, we have we've only been in 17 minutes of the sh of the show. What what's name another tell us another story?

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Uh this guy, so I used to babysit his kids when I was around 13, 14. Is this when his daughter raped him?

SPEAKER_02 18:01

His kids. Oh, that was a babysitter that raped him.

The Mushroom Pizza Reveal

SPEAKER_01 18:03

His kids were he had three kids, they were all a year apart from each other. And when I was like 14, the oldest one was like nine. So I'm actually looking back on the way that guy lived his life and treated the people around him, I'm surprised that nine years old he was even concerned with a babysitter for his kids. But that might have been his wife's decision, I don't know. But uh so when I was about 14 years old, maybe 15, uh no, I wasn't 50. I was I was done babysitting his kids by 15, so I was like 14. Um I go over to babysit his kids, and I needed a ride over there, so he came and picked me up right after work, and he was going out at, you know, like six or seven o'clock at night. So I would go over there, we'd hang out, and he would make dinner and shit, and I'd just be over there hanging out, and uh he made a pizza, and uh I ate the pizza, and when I was all done, he was like, just so you know, I had a bunch of mushrooms on that pizza. So this fucking guy dosed me with psilocybin mushrooms.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

Oh, I thought you were talking about psychedelic mushrooms?

SPEAKER_01 19:37

Yeah, at how old were you? 14. Jesus Christ. And he you were gonna watch his kids and then he left me to watch his kids and thought it was the funniest thing that's ever happened.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

Extremely dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Oh, very dangerous. It's extremely dangerous.

Parenting Reflections And Boundaries

SPEAKER_04 19:54

Very dangerous. So what ended up happening is You should always have somebody as a sitter. Yeah. Or a partner when taking psilocybin muscle.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

So what actually happened is his nine-year-old became my shaman. Yeah, there's no way you were watching. Oh my god, you gotta be kidding me. No, that's that's a god honest true story. Did his wife know about this? Uh I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 20:20

Can't ask her. She died. Oh my gosh. So I'm looking at maybe letting my kid who's 10 years old sleep over at a friend's house with their five other kids sleeping over for a birthday party, and I don't want to because of this. Because the I don't know these people well enough. I know them. The parents of the family. Yeah, I don't know them. I know them.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Go there and read them out, bro.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

So I have that much, but I don't fucking secret psilocybin mushroom people. I don't fucking come on.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

So because I survived that that light mushroom dosing that he gave me. That's insane. Now it became super fun to him to try to get me on mushrooms every time I came over.

SPEAKER_04 21:13

Did he do that? Now you can't trust anything he asks you to have. Ever.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Still to this day.

SPEAKER_04 21:20

Oh man. Next I mean drugging people is not cool, bro. At all. There's no line. Yeah. That's it. It's just not. Yeah. And I mean. I feel bad giving my kid a Tylenol without telling her exactly what the fuck's in it. And I'm her guardian.

SPEAKER_02 21:40

A Tylenol.

Trespassing And The Stolen Treestand

SPEAKER_04 21:41

You're reading the active ingredients too. It's gonna make you a little sleepy. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not trying to pretend, but it is. It's gonna make you sleepy. Here, take this gummy. What's this? It's melatonin. What's that do? Well, it's gonna make you kind of sleepy. Why do we want me to take that? I'm gonna be honest, I want you to go to sleep. I don't want to be up anymore. But dude, that guy's not cool anymore. No. The first the drunk driving stuff, it was the 90s.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

I mean, Chris, you didn't you didn't hate him after having uh drive home with a stranger.

SPEAKER_04 22:15

He might have known the guy. Tony doesn't remember that part, but it was his fucking uncle. Like Tony didn't know this guy. Oh, I'm going right past that place. Like he might have known him. It was Tony's fault. Well, he knew the guy knew what it was. He shouldn't have dressed like that. Should have gotten the bar dress like that. You're already fucking half hard from seeing your first tit knife standing in the parking lot, perking cold titties hanging out the t-shirt.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

You're talking back to that bar situation. Did you I could picture this bar?

SPEAKER_04 22:51

There was probably Chris. Sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

No, did it stein's on a fucking poorly built homemade shelf. Christmas lights had dawned. Did it gross you out? Hell no. Hell no. You're 13. That's probably something like an I quit golfing.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

So were you? It's pocket pool for me from here on out, folks. So you're next to your uncle, whatever is who he is. Not my uncle. I know, but I'm just giving I'm just giving you a.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

We'll just call him my uncle for the sake of the story.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Yeah, for uncle. Next to Uncle saying, Come on, let me in. Let me in. Were you saying anything to the guy? No, dude, I was my my eyes were fucking tractor beams.

SPEAKER_04 23:32

I could just see this place.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Were you cheering too when she got the quarter? No, I didn't know what happened. I'm like, how'd she pick it up with her really small dick? Fascinating. Tony, you're attracted to men. Really small dick. I'm like, man, does she got a little dick? Bro, I'm 13. What's that thing hitting me? I've only seen the shit magazines.

SPEAKER_04 24:03

Yeah. I don't know. I my first my hunting bar experiences is not like that, but it was also cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

It was like you'd have some dirty whore picking stuff up, putting a fucking room.

SPEAKER_04 24:14

I'm sure there was hanging meat curtains. No, off the bar. I'm sure there was beers. I'm sure there was beers while driving. I'm sure there was I don't remember too clearly, but I'm sure it was all very similar. Except for not then it got to the point where not anymore. It wasn't similar. But like drinking and right, like the whole drinking all day, all night, and then going into the woods, coming out, drinking, eating, going to some shitty bar, scandally women around. Unless that was just my naivete. Yeah. But I don't know about getting my stranger driving me home and shit.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

This bar was definitely a meat raffle. So what else did your uncle do to you? Uh sheesh. Put you on the spot. A little bit. I mean. I think I've heard enough.

SPEAKER_04 25:08

And you know, the fucking mushroom bang. I think I heard the mushroom story. And you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 25:13

Now that I'm saying this stuff out loud like this, the one thing that always stuck with me as being super fucked up is really nothing compared to any of this other shit. He took me out uh squirrel hunting once. And uh I didn't realize it till much later in life, but we were just trespassing on somebody's land. He just drove until he found fucking woods with no house around, not like far from Milwaukee.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

And uh we're what kind of caliber or gun do you use for squirrel hunting? 22s. But like a a rifle? Yeah, it was a rifle. A little tiny one. So that just would give you a big one. It would just aren't they quiet and you're breaking shit off fucking rocks. There's no rocks up in the tree usually.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Rocks are reserved for the ground.

Squirrel Talk And Wild Meals

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Well, technically a squirrel's on the ground at some point sometimes, right? You're gonna shoot. Not when you're hunting them. Well, I don't know. They run down the tree. They go up in the tree to shoot them, they fall out of the tree.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

I've seen a squirrel at the ground before, is what I'm saying. But uh we were walking through this fucking random somebody's random woods that they paid all their hard-earned money to buy, and we're just out using it for no fucking reason. Um, no permission or anything, and uh we get to a spot and we see somebody's tree stand um and it was a it was a nice tree stand. So of course his knee-jerk reaction is he he made me climb up the tree and it was really fucking high up, and they just had these these little uh uh they call them tree pegs, but they're little screwing uh studs that just hang out of each side of the tree, and you climb up it like a ladder, and he had me climb up this fucking tree, and I mean it was 20 feet in the air, and uh undo a ratchet strap to steal this tree stand out of this tree, and I remember we brought we brought it home and I was fucking mortified because I wasn't I I wasn't somebody who wouldn't steal and I'm definitely afraid of heights, but this fucking dude's telling me I gotta go up there and get this tree stand. And uh we got home and I remember his fucking wife hit him in the face for making me do this.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

What did he do?

SPEAKER_01 27:54

What did he what did he do? Made me climb a tree and steal somebody's tree stand.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

No, no, what did he after she hit him?

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Well, he was fucking loaded and he was just like, ah, shut up, bitch.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

He didn't push her, put her back.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

No.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

So he was a good guy.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

He was like, you weren't there, you didn't see the tree stand up in the tree.

SPEAKER_04 28:15

You don't know what it's like to come across something like that when you're trespassing.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

Did you okay? Here's all things. Did you get any Wanda? Did you get any squirrels on the back? We did. And then what did you do with them? Did you eat it? Ew. What do you mean, ew? Ew. That's a fucking rat with country squirrel, though. Bushy tail. Yeah, tree rat. Ew. Would you eat rat? If it was no. I mean, you hesitated. Your answer is no.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I mean, I I've eaten squirrel a bunch of times, so I pretty much did eat a rat.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Just chicken? Is that what it tastes like? What does it taste like? Tastes like squirrel. Okay. That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

I know. Everything tastes different to me. All right, here's the scenario. People say deer tastes like cow, and I don't think it does. I think it tastes like deer.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Here's the scenario. It does not taste like cow. You go in the store, there's squirrel meat, and then there's all the rest of the meat. Squirrel meat is pretty much pennies on the dollar.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

And you have if it was more than the other meat, I would buy it.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

I've never seen squirrel meat. If I got a USDA stamped package of squirrel meat at my grocer, my local grocery. I'd probably order it up and see if I could make some. You had squirrel too? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:37

No, I won't answer. Come on.

SPEAKER_04 29:42

My dad used to fry up chicken fried stuff. Stuff.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

So I mean, yeah, squirrel. Chicken fried something.

SPEAKER_04 29:51

Mostly with venison, I'm sure, but yeah, I ate a lot of venison.

SPEAKER_02 29:55

You can chicken, you can fry up fucking fried up like chicken. You can fry up anything, it tastes good. Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 30:00

Well, yeah. What do you think? You're eating squirrel. He's not making fucking fileto squirrel.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

I mean, what are you making?

SPEAKER_04 30:06

Saving the tender lines. You're probably making like fucking hamburger helper with it, bro.

Final Reflections And Close

SPEAKER_02 30:10

You're making those tiny little fucking ovens you see in the stupid little. Okay, never mind.

SPEAKER_01 30:15

No, we put them on a rotisserie.

unknown 30:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

We ate them like a like a rotisserie chicken. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 30:25

Lots of teriyaki sauce.

SPEAKER_01 30:28

Didn't even need it, bro.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

Teriyaki soil.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

The squirrel speaks for itself.

SPEAKER_04 30:33

My dad has always had a culinary flair about him, so I think I've always been honored to have good food, even if it was stuff I thought was disgusting. So even if it was squirrel, my dad would have put it up on some type like an indoor hibachi thing with this little like like you get at yeah, he would have had a Brazilian serving.

SPEAKER_01 30:53

Doing the onion fire thing.

SPEAKER_04 30:55

Yeah, exactly. Right. But yeah. I don't know, man. Thanks for sharing them stories. I'm sorry you got mushroomed, though. Being drugged is not cool.

SPEAKER_01 31:04

No, I was actually the last time I did mushrooms was with him, and I didn't know I was taking them. And I wasn't old enough to drive.

SPEAKER_03 31:13

You probably didn't, yeah. That's scary. What yeah. I'd be terrified.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

And I, you know, it just made me think, could my 13-year-old handle this? And the question is, or the answer is no. He can't even fly an airport. Not without a nine-year-old shaman. I gotta watch him take the trash out because it's dark outside. You do have wolves.

SPEAKER_02 31:36

Wait, isn't your trash trash can in your garage?

SPEAKER_01 31:39

Yeah, we gotta take it outside of the garage on garbage day. Okay, I get it.

SPEAKER_02 31:45

All right. Thanks, Tone. Yep. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 31:53

This has been another episode of Top Shelf Stories Podcast. Thanks for tuning in. Goodbye.