Top Shelf Stories
In a world that often shuns the uncomfortable, we embrace it with open arms—and open laughs. Our candid narratives around our stories assure you that awkwardness is a shared human experience. Tune in, enjoy the ride, and maybe learn a thing or two.
Top Shelf Stories
I Went For A Poster And Came Home With A Bike
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We follow a sold-out Widespread Panic run that turns from near miss to perfect night with pit access, old friends, a poster score, and a photo feature. The story closes on a midnight bus stop, a bargain bike, and a reminder that showing up with a plan invites luck.
• missing tickets then a friend offers a pit pass
• planning the sprint from work to venue with a checklist
• catching the bus by seconds and hitting the street pre-party
• scoring merch early and linking up with friends via a code word
• navigating the venue with pit access and coat logistics
• set break tactics with a secret bar and earplug tips
• music highlights and the joy of being solo in a crowd
• cameraman Dan’s photo landing on venue socials
• post-show timing to catch the last bus home
• bus stop crew, the rebuilt bike, and a $50 lesson in trust
• closing thoughts on momentum, kindness, and saying yes
Go out to the show, have fun, try mushrooms
Banter And Setup
SPEAKER_02Top Shelf Stories with Jay, Chris, and Tony. Hit me with the rap, Jay. Skippa skipped news, skip a news. Welcome to Top Shelf Stories. I wasn't ready for it. It's our podcast. Me, Chris. I got Jay and Tony with me.
SPEAKER_01Are you going to say you're the hosts? I'm the host.
SPEAKER_02You guys are my loyal servants. That's fine. I'll be your bitch.
SPEAKER_00Glad to join you today, Chris.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna expect you guys to pop in as needed. As long as you can make me my food when I want it. It can have hair in it too. Okay.
Framing The “Best Day”
SPEAKER_02So I want to tell you guys about one of the best days I've had in a long time. I think it's good to talk about good things. Some people might call it bragging. I think bragging's kind of good sometimes. People are underconfident in this world. They need to be a little more confident. Not crazy, yelling in the middle of the street confident, but like confident in what they're doing.
SPEAKER_01Best days, like you had sex more than one time.
SPEAKER_02Well, those would that would be up there too. Those are good days too. This one, this one has to do with going to a concert. You guys know I like to go to concerts.
SPEAKER_00You ever hear that? I have heard that about you. I listen to your podcasts on a regular basis, so I know all about your love of concerts.
SPEAKER_01We know your family, your wife's never there, but she did not come to this one either, Jay. Okay. Hence best day of his life.
SPEAKER_00No, it would have been just as fun or better if she came. You would have had to hold some hair at the end of the night, but well, I'll tell you a sidebar here.
SPEAKER_02Me and the wife did actually we booked a hotel room for this uh music festival that's in a hotel. That's the only way she'll come to it, right? The hotel. If it's the hotel, she's like, book it, book it! I'm like, wait, really? But if it's you want to do this, who's there?
SPEAKER_01But if it's outside camping, she ain't gonna do it.
SPEAKER_02But the idea of being able to go to a hotel and just sit and like go to the pool and listen to music.
SPEAKER_01She's like, I don't really want to go to the concert, I'll just stay at the hotel room.
The Widespread Panic Milwaukee Run
SPEAKER_02So the greatest day, man. One of my favorite bands to go see, widespread panic, is in Milwaukee at my favorite venue, the Riverside Theater. Well, that was surprising. They're there for three days. Tickets in a row? In a row. The tickets went on sale like eight months ago. I couldn't get any. Well, what? They're impossible to get. They sell out in seconds. People come from round and round. It's the Milwaukee run of widespread panic. What's the name of the name of the band again? Widespread panic. Widespread panic. And it's the fucking greatest time. It's the best time. They do three days in a row. They come to the city. People come to the city. They sell hotel packages. You get your tickets with.
SPEAKER_01Where do they play?
SPEAKER_02What what venue? It's at the Riverside Theater. Okay, I didn't hear you. It's my favorite venue. It's right on Wisconsin Avenue, right down the road from my house, 106 blocks away. He loves it because it's on the bus line. It's right on my bus line. So I'm excited for that too. But hey, so I tried to get tickets months ago. I couldn't get any. So I was like, you know what? I've done this for like six, seven years in a row now. Did you try to get it? I've gone almost every show, huh?
SPEAKER_00Did you try winning some on the local radio station in the morning?
SPEAKER_02I didn't try. No. In fact, for the first time ever, when I didn't get tickets right away, I was content. I'm like, you know what? I've done this enough. I'm okay. There'll be other things going on during that time. It'll be fine.
SPEAKER_01Is it countless times you've been to their shows?
SPEAKER_02Countless times at this point. Yeah. I don't know how many. But a lot of times it's right in Milwaukee and it's three days and it's bang, bang, bang, and it's the freaking best. But this time I didn't get tickets and I was fine. I was fine with it. Settled it in. Time goes on, blah, blah, blah. A few weeks ago.
SPEAKER_01Your friends are like, you didn't get a ticket?
Failing To Get Tickets And Letting Go
SPEAKER_02Nobody got tickets. But you always get tickets if you ask for them. And this year I just wasn't going to try. I'm like, whatever. So it's like two weeks before it. And my friend from Minnesota calls me. He's coming into town. He's coming into town for the Brewer's Games. He's like, we should hook up. I'm going to the Brewers Games. I got tickets. We're flying in. We're going to be in town all weekend or whatever it was, like Monday, Tuesday, whatever they played in the playoffs. And he was like, you should get tickets and come hang. And I'm like, I don't. And he's like, well, I don't have tickets. And he's like, oh, I'll try to help you out. And then he's like, I'm also coming for widespread panic. And I'm like, man, I don't have tickets to that party either. He's like, man, I'm going to get you a ticket to that. I'm like, all right. Like, try to find me a ticket. That's great. I guess. You know, I can probably go on Friday. I looked at my calendar. Can only do Friday. I had too much other shit going on. So he comes to town and I'm like, hey, man, I seen standing room tickets for the Brewers Games. So like 105 bucks. I can't go though. It would be too much for me. So thanks for the invite, whatever. He's like, all right, I'll see you next weekend. I'm like, dude, I don't have a ticket. He's like, I'm gonna get you a ticket. So he calls me on like Tuesday of the week of the show, and he's like, Got you a ticket, man. It's a hundred bucks. I'm like, cool, okay, great. If I can take it, I'm going to the show. So then from Tuesday, Wednesday, the hype, I'm starting to get all hyped. I'm like, oh yes, I'm going to the show on Friday. I'm going to see all my friends. It's gonna be good, good ass time. You know what that's like, right? To be anticipating.
SPEAKER_00Can I can I uh that only happens to me on Thursdays.
SPEAKER_01Can I say something real quick? Okay. So I looked up widespread uh excuse me, widespread panic tickets in New York in the next month. 4% are left for uh New York. Selling fast in New York, they're all like almost gone. So you are right. Yeah, but this is in three weeks, yeah. But they're yeah, they're like almost. This Milwaukee run, though.
SPEAKER_02This Milwaukee run special because they're an old band. I mean, the guy that they're like 75, 70-year-old guys playing fucking rock and roll, man.
SPEAKER_011% left in Georgia in December 31st.
SPEAKER_02That's New Year's. Holy shit. So they they sell tickets, man. Wow, it's a party, and the people that see them, they travel. It's a party. So I'm wanting to go. So I believe you now. So now I'm sitting there. I'm glad you I had a Google, I had to Google to believe you. So uh it's like Tuesday, Wednesday. I get the call. I got these I got you got a ticket. So I call my wife. I'm going to the show. Is that fine? Yeah, it's fine, whatever. So then I'm I'm planning. I'm like, okay, uh, I gotta work. I didn't ask off. I'm gonna be there till five. Not gonna get home till 5 30. Not gonna get down there till like 6 30. Show the doors open at 6 30. Show starts at 7 30, the band's on by 8. Like shit. Normally I go down there at like 2, they close down the street. They have a party, they have a pre-show band.
SPEAKER_00You guys fucking ready and scheduled. I mean, this really sounds like an ordeal.
SPEAKER_02So Craig's got me now. I got I made this cheat sheet to help me try to tell this story. So yeah. I got the tickets and now I'm on I'm on crunch. I'm thinking to myself, how's the best way I'm gonna be able to utilize this? I'm gonna have to pack a cocktail for the bus.
SPEAKER_00Right. Well, first off, around noon at work, you're gonna have to fake your own death. Right. To get out of there.
SPEAKER_02No, I worked it up right till five, and I figured it'd be fine. I'm just not gonna be early. But when I get down there, I gotta meet Craig somewhere. There's gonna be 3,000 people there, 3,800 people in the street, ready to wait and to get in. How am I gonna find Craig? Then I got other people going there. I want to say hi to them too. So that I'm like, and I gotta have a drink or two before I go in there. I don't want to go in there on a sober stomach. Spend all my money at the bar then.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Real quick. And you gotta you gotta figure out the right time to take the mushrooms. You can't sure. Real quick.
SPEAKER_01Real quick, Chris. What what type is this rock band? But like, do they like give me a genre besides rock? Like southern rock. Like southern rock, so they have banjos?
SPEAKER_02No, they don't play with banjos, but they have two league guitars. There's a bass, there's two league guitars, a bass player, a keyboardist, a drummer, a percussion guy. So it's it's like six-piece bands.
A Friend Comes Through With A Pit Ticket
SPEAKER_01Dancing, like dancing, dance music. Sort of. Is there like mostly instrumental or is there singing? There are singing. But like mostly instrumental, instrumental.
SPEAKER_00They sing, but the crown jewel of the show is the dueling harps. You'll have to take a listen. Okay. Widespread.
SPEAKER_01Widespread panic. Why can't I say that? I don't know. Widespread panic. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02So then I'm driving, I'm I'm driving home. I'm like, okay, 5 30, gotta go. It's five o'clock, I gotta go. So I left my work at like eight minutes to five, right? Because those couple minutes didn't matter, right? Didn't get caught by the train.
SPEAKER_00You're waiting for public transportation.
SPEAKER_02I didn't get caught by the train. I got to test out the acceleration on the new Durango. I made it through every stoplight. I flew down the highway in the left lane, right lane, middle lane, got there. I was home by like 10 after 5. Like, this is great. This is great. Made myself a drink, got changed, thought it would take me a while to like figure out what I wanted to wear, figure out what I needed to pack. But guess what I did? I made a list. I made a list earlier in the day. Yeah. When you get home from work, do these things, Chris. Follow the list. I set myself up for success. I made my drink. I had written down exactly pocket snacks, three fucking pieces of gum. I mean, like you thumbs, toothpick, get the fucking cash for the cash for the ticket, cash for this.
SPEAKER_01I understand you have a wife, but everything, but like you get home, you get like your kid needs food, your dog needs food.
SPEAKER_02That wasn't it. That was all happening without me. I was not this was So you you just It worked out great for me. You had to make sure to I had to eat something. I had microwave pizza in the fridge. I'm like fucking A right. Before I left. Got home, made my drinks, got my package. Did you put the schedule written on a piece of paper for you make a you make a plan and you execute it? And I executed so well that I was on my way walking out the door. I'd said goodnight to the goodbye to the wife, to the kid, kissed the dog, the whole thing, had my drink in hand, had my beers in my pocket, did everything I needed.
SPEAKER_01A box and everything you had to do at a certain time to check off.
SPEAKER_02Check, check, check, dude.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. You're more scheduled than me. I'm walking to the bus.
SPEAKER_00I'm thinking to myself, You could with your time crunch. Yeah. You could not talk uh family in the in the church.
SPEAKER_02Shut the fuck up, I have shit to do. Into dropping me off? Yeah. Why would she need to do that? I don't need to burden her.
SPEAKER_01She has to cook the dinner for the dog and the child.
SPEAKER_02Just you're gonna have her get out, drive through the traffic that this bus gets to drive around down the same road I would have taken to spend.
SPEAKER_00Even uh six blocks to the bus stop.
SPEAKER_02No, dude, I'm wild.
SPEAKER_00She has things to do. He has things to do.
SPEAKER_02I got goals to accomplish. I have people I have to contact while I'm walking to the bus. I gotta get a hold of my guy who's got the ticket, make sure he's good. I gotta get my friends in line and let them know that I'm on my way.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna tell you right now, if you had two more kids, you're fucked.
SPEAKER_02I don't have two more kids. I said if you did. Yeah, there's a reason I'm fucked. There's a reason I don't have three kids.
SPEAKER_01Pull out game strong. They'd be tripping you while you're walking through the fucking getting your pizza warmed up.
SPEAKER_02I was we decided to do that. Yeah, we're doing punching the stomach. We were never doing two kids. Where are you going? We were never gonna be outnumbered by our children. Two was an option, but it didn't get there. We just didn't.
SPEAKER_01Why do I have three and both you guys? I equal you guys as two. Both of you fuckers.
SPEAKER_02You're crazy.
SPEAKER_00As many children as I do. Yeah. Unlike your drinking, I know when to stop.
SPEAKER_01You don't even drink. You drink sprites. And I don't think you could stop at sprites. I could. I could drink a half sprite. I'm done. You'd be like five sprites in.
Race Home, Prep List, And Bus Hustle
SPEAKER_02I don't know why that's so funny. I could leave a half a sprite on this counter and just go to bed. Wake up in the morning, dump it down the sink like it was no big deal. I bet you could.
SPEAKER_01That was pretty fucking funny. I'm just saying, Tony loves his sprites.
SPEAKER_02So I'm walking to my bus with my sprite in my hand that looks like I peed in it because it's got so much bourbon and I mean whiskey in it. And I'm walking into the bus and I'm looking at the bus. There's this app you can follow when your bus is going to be there. And when I left the house, the bus said four minutes and an 11-minute bus. I'm like, that's perfect. It's an eight-minute walk. So I take my time, I'm walking, and then I'm looking and I'm like halfway there, and the four-minute bus still said four minutes. Like, oh fuck. It must be stopped somewhere. Turn the corner, and that four-minute bus is at the light up there. So I ran to the bus stop, scanned my card as the bus was pulling up. Bam, I'm on the bus. I'm on the bus before I even thought I was even gonna get home. It's like 5 45. It's great. This is great. Everything's working out perfect for me.
SPEAKER_01There has to be something that doesn't work out.
SPEAKER_02I know, you would think.
SPEAKER_01You would think. That's what I'm waiting for.
SPEAKER_02So then I'm on the bus. I get a call. I call my friend. He's like, hey man, you're getting there early. Sweet. Can you get me a poster? Like, fuck. I don't want to do someone else's tasks. But I'm like, this guy always does good stuff for me. I'm gonna be there. I should take advantage of the fact that I'm there early. Sure. I'll get you your poster. So I get down there. I asked the bus driver to stop at the special corner here that there's not a bus stop at because they shut the street down. He can't drive past, and he would have drove all the way around, but it would have taken an extra three minutes. And I asked him if he could stop in my spot, and guess what? He said, Yeah. He goes, I'll stop for you, sure. Boom. They never do that. Took a picture of myself with the uh the uh I can't breathe guy statue. Bus driver. No, the statue that's down there with the I can't breathe guy George Floyd. George Floyd statue. Got a picture of myself with the George Floyd statue. I'm like, that's pretty cool. Why would you want to? Didn't even know that was here. It's in the middle of my city. Kept walking. I didn't know that was there either. I'm like, God damn it, now I gotta wait in this line to go get a fucking poster. All my friends are here. I gotta still get my ticket, but all right, I'm early, whatever, I'll do it for my friend. Nope. There's a booth outside for the first time ever with merch. I didn't know this ever happened. I was there early enough. They were open. I went up to the line. I seen the posters. I text my wife. I'm like, do you like this poster? Boom. Now I got a poster. I bought the foil one or the gold one. My friend got a poster. So now I got these two posters. Turn the corner. Oh, who's that tall motherfucker right there? That's Craig. Craig with my ticket. Hey, Craig, what's up? I'm waiting for something bad to happen. Perfect timing. He's like, How are you, man? I haven't seen you forever. What's great? Here, why don't you put those posters that you're holding onto in these tubes down by us? You can hold them there so you don't have to carry them. Great. Boom. There you go. Hey, by the way, the ticket we got you, it's a pit ticket.
SPEAKER_01That's the rarest bird of them all. All right, no, I get it. I get it now. You you're now a yes man. So you started saying yes to shit, so everything is going your way. No, I'm like literally like when he said yes to shit, everything went his way.
Street Scene, Merch Victory, And Reuniting
SPEAKER_02That's what's happening. I guess so, because here I am a movie. No, I'm not carrying these posters anymore. I'm with my friend Craig. I got my ticket. It's a pit ticket. The pit ticket means I can go down in the pit. I was flying solo. I didn't have to save a seat for myself anywhere. I can just go down in the pit area and walk and stand and be wherever I want. And the pit area also excesses you ability to go in the lower or in the upper because you have the band that says you can go all the way down. So you can go all the way up too. So I can see and be by anybody I want. This is great news. Then I'm like, well, I gotta find my friends, right? Where are the rest of my friends? So we have this call out. Tippy-toe. I yell tippy toe. And what do I hear? That 15 people behind me in line. My fucking friends. They crack a beer for me. How are you, Chris? Welcome to the line. What's you doing, man? We're gonna go over here, blah, blah, blah.
SPEAKER_01What's tippy toe? That's what you just yell at in public. I mean, like, where did that come from?
SPEAKER_02Uh, from summer camp. My friend Dan was like, we'll use a code word tippy toe to find each other. Because if you're just yelling someone's name, it gets kind of lost. If you're yelling hey or Summer Camp. Summer Camp Music Festival. It's the music festival I go to.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I thought you meant like a But it came from a Seinfeld episode. Anyways, it's a secret code word. We yell tippy toe. And if you yell tippy toe in public, if someone responds, it's somebody I know. So if you ever need to use that, you can. And they're friendly. Tippy-toe. I would just do like a sound, like see, no one will hear that.
SPEAKER_01Really? They hear tippy toe over ah!
SPEAKER_02We'll try it in public one time, but yeah. I'm gonna tippy toe!
unknownHa!
SPEAKER_02I heard that before. Well, anyways, tippy toe worked. My friends were right there. Um yeah, so then I'm also here with this pit ticket that I go well, you know, having fun in the streets. Oh, I saw um I saw uh Ben Franklin from 1776. It was a man in costume in a 1776 costume. Yeah, it was great. I made a really great joke that killed it. So there's a line of 3,000 hippies, and I do I'm within earshot of maybe 400 of them. And I yell, hey, look, it's Ben Franklin. Where are you going, Ben? And he says, See you later, and the guy starts walking away, and I go, Wow, he came all the way here from 1776, found out the show was sold out, and he's going back, and everyone roared in the laughter.
SPEAKER_01Tony, Tony did not laugh at all, but I was killing it. It has to it has to be at the point. I understand. No, you had to be there. You had to be there. I was killing it. I get it, I get it, I get it.
Pit Access Perks And The Tippy-Toe Code
SPEAKER_02So then the line starts moving. I go grab my poster, say bye to Craig. Thanks for the ticket. Say bye to my friends, see you guys inside. I get to go to this special sidebar line because I have this pit ticket and go in faster than easier than everyone else. So then I get inside and I'm like, all right, I gotta find my friends. I know where one of them goes. Let's go back there. I go back there. My friends aren't there, but their friends are, and they're like, Oh, you can't sit there, dude. I'm saving them. And I'm like, I know you're saving them for me. He's like, Who the fuck are you? And I'm like, I'm Scott and Sarah's friend, Chris. And they're like, Oh, yeah, I know I've heard of you, man. I'm like, here, I'll hold these spots. All I ask is you hold my coat during the show. So now I got my coat parking spot because I don't have to wear my winter coat all the time in the show. Held the spot for these guys, my friend Scott and Sarah show up. Great. See you guys later. Watch my coat. So now I'm inside, I got this, got that, everything's running great. I see my friend Dan. He's the cameraman. He takes pictures of the show for the venue. Cameraman Dan.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Long hair. You know Ada. Yeah, you know. Long hair loves dancing for no reason.
SPEAKER_02You met Dan. I know Dan. So one of the things I do with Dan is when I see Dan. I say hi, of course, and then take your shirt off. I keep my eye out and I see when he's taking pictures, and I like to take a picture of him taking pictures. That's my favorite thing to do. And then then with him at least, and then the next day I'll send him the photo of me taking a picture of him taking a picture.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02And then he'll send me one where he is taking one of me and my friends, or just me or whatever. And it's great because they're super high quality, awesome photos, right?
SPEAKER_00It's like this weird, like fucking stalker circle that's going on. Yeah, yeah. It's like remembering you're taking pictures. I took a picture of that picture.
SPEAKER_02So this so this time, this this kind of skips the timeline here, but this time I sent him the photo the next morning and he didn't respond. I was like, what the fuck? Until my other friend sent me a message. She goes, Have you looked at the social medias for widespread panic in the PAPS Theater? We're all over the front of it. Because he submitted us as his photo for the fucking newspaper article prints that went all over inside of all the the online journals about this concert.
SPEAKER_01How many people are in that picture?
SPEAKER_02Like me and five of my friends. Where's that? Can I see the picture? Yeah, it's at Paps Theater Group. All right, let me look it on their Instagram back on October 20 something or whatever.
SPEAKER_00So, so just a little, I want to get to know Dan a little bit more. Is he a paid photographer? Cameraman Dan? Or is he just a dude who brings a camera and he's like, I'm gonna sell some of these?
SPEAKER_02So he is the official for the PAPS Theater Group. He's an official for concert and event photographer. I don't know if he needs to apply for each gig or if he get, but he can go to any gig and he submits his photos, and I think he gets paid when they use his photos.
SPEAKER_01You say why widespread what?
SPEAKER_02I'll show you after the show. I don't want to sit here and do this with you on our podcast. I want to keep telling my tale.
SPEAKER_01You can tell it. You just say the name of the band.
SPEAKER_02It's widespread panic. There you go. And it was on the Paps Theater Group's pages. But now both of you are on your phone, so I can't imagine my story is very entertaining.
SPEAKER_00I'm listening. I have to see. I want to see. I have the photo if that's what you're looking for. Why would we not be looking for the photo?
SPEAKER_02I didn't think that we'd want to do that right now.
SPEAKER_00This is like an important part of my life now.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It is. I mean we have to do this while we're on our podcast. Are you are you the black guy? That's not the photo.
SPEAKER_01I'm just kidding. Go ahead. Finish your story. I'm done looking. Got it. I'm done looking. You found it? No way.
SPEAKER_02Let me see it.
SPEAKER_01You got it that fast. Cool orange hat, bro.
SPEAKER_02That's my orange hat.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. How did you find it that fast? Look at that. It's a great photo, right?
Cameraman Dan And The Photo Moment
SPEAKER_02Text it to me. So that's Devor, and that's Sarah in the background of me, and Becky's in the foreground of the photo. Text it to me. So it was great. Another great fucking way.
SPEAKER_00It would take me longer to find you in my phone than it did for me to find this random assistant. I just took that photo. I don't know how you found that so fast.
SPEAKER_02So look it. So the photo you took, that's him taking the fucking photo like seconds or after or before. I was just capturing him, and then he sent me the one that he used. Fucking cameraman Dan.
SPEAKER_00Cameraman Dan, man. Unbelievable.
SPEAKER_02So this is all pre-show. I haven't even heard an ounce of music yet. And I I'm already having this great time. Wow, that's I mean, it was focused on you. Sure. It's my friend cameraman Dan. I've been, I'll be honest, kind of famous in these band posts because of my cameraman friend Dan. And I'm also friends with another guy, Adam, who doesn't do that.
SPEAKER_01Do you look more happy here than you ever did at one of our podcasts?
SPEAKER_02I'm telling you how fucking awesome this day has been so far. You heard up to that point how good my day's been.
SPEAKER_00You compare this photo to his wedding photo.
SPEAKER_02That photo right now is the time in this story. This exact time story. You never find one photo.
SPEAKER_01You never find one as happy as a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a phone.
SPEAKER_02Oh, there's Kenny in it.
SPEAKER_01And there's a girl in the background really talking to somebody with that's Sarah. And she's like, fucking listen to me. I'm gonna tell you what's going on. And Chris is like, ha ha.
SPEAKER_02That's Sarah. Yeah. Later I'll store my coat by her. She looks like a fun person. She is. She's from Iowa. Cool. So then I'm at this place, and now we're we're doing the settling around, and everyone's kind of bobbing around, listening or talking with people and buying beers before the show. And I noticed, dude, they're selling this. Another cool thing that happened to me is I realized they have earplug vending machines. Yeah. Because this is like the not listen to the music. But no, you I wear earplugs at concerts. Okay. Well, I otherwise your ears will ring because it's too loud.
SPEAKER_01On stage? If you're really close, are you?
SPEAKER_02The whole place can be loud. It's not necessarily close. Close is actually sometimes not as loud. Okay. Getcha. Because those speakers are up in the top screaming down at you. Sure. And a lot of times it's the crowd that's the loudest. Um so yeah, man. So then I find my where my other friends are sitting, they're in the middle of the venue. I find where my other friends are sitting, they're on the side of the venue. First set of music was phenomenal. Had a great time listening, talking, meeting people. I kind of bounced around because I'm running solo. Running solo is great. If you're running solo, you can bob and weave and go here, go there, go where. No one, you're not beholden to anyone. You don't need to come back. You're not holding anyone's coat. Go anywhere. You can do anything at a show. At that point, they're holding your coat. Yeah. Well, it's there at the chair. I mean, it's not that. Um, and I'm forgetting some things now, and my notes are failing, but that's okay. So then set break. Set break is great. Because at set break, you get to go outside. And everyone gets to talk. This is where you like smoke with everyone, and you can go outside and smoke whatever you need to do.
SPEAKER_00The drugs, the shroom part that Tony was speaking of. My notes are fucked. The shrooms are already wearing off by set break.
SPEAKER_02My notes are fucked. I use Chat GPT to try to help me through this story because I had forgotten a lot of it. Oh, I mean, you're doing great. I so it's set break, and we go out, we go outside, right? And going outside, it's like a whole new world because you were just inside this quiet or this dark, loud venue, and then you come outside, it's bright, there's lights. The they got the whole street shut down still. There's everyone's flooded out there, everyone's smoking, hanging out, they're still selling beer out there and all this stuff, and and you get like a half hour, right? I met this guy who had the best mullet I've ever seen in my entire life. I took a picture of it, I'll show you guys. The dude is killing it. Can I Google and find it? No, this one's on my iPhone. Okay.
First Set Freedom And Solo Roaming
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Google Uncle Laser. If you're looking for top-tier mullets, Uncle Laser.
SPEAKER_02And so, like, set break here. The the whole game is like you you can hang out outside, then you you gotta go back in, you get your drink, get go to the bathroom. You gotta do that during the time you want to meet some people, maybe check on your coat, right? Or whatever. Uh refill your drink. But here, I know the code. This the and I'm gonna let you in over the radio here, over the podcast to all you listeners. This cheat code is to go to the bar next door to the venue called Stir. It's a little cocktail lounge. They got a bathroom in there, no one's ever in line. The drinks, they're not as expensive as they are inside the venue. So you go there at Setbreak, use their bathroom, buy a drink from them, take that back into the show.
SPEAKER_01It's never busy.
SPEAKER_02So is that like ever. Sometimes, like right before the show. Why would Setbreak not be busy? Everyone's no one knows no one thinks to go in there, I guess. They do pretty good at the venue with bathrooms, anyways. It's not as a problem as it used to be. Well, if you're getting a cheaper drink, as well use the bathroom. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you get to talk to the little place bartender. Hang out. Is there a picture with her? No. So, yeah, then um, you know, the whole time, uh the music's been great, the band's great. The the guitarist is like one of the greatest guitarists on the face of the earth, in my opinion, that plays guitar. Uh, Jimmy Herring. I don't know if you ever heard of Jimmy Herring. I thought you is one of the greatest guitar players that's ever roamed the planet. He has his eyebrows that cover that could shade an entire village. The way he stands up there and plays, it's incredible.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say Jimi Hendrix is dead.
SPEAKER_02The music, the lights, the people, everything's great. After the show, I am I'm booming. I am just so exuberant. I'm happy, I'm excited, but you know what? Now it's midnight. Shrooming. I gotta I gotta and shrooming. Sorry. I gotta I have I have to go I have to get back on this this plan again because I have to get my ass home. The bus leaves at like 12 48 or something from my stop. And if I miss that bus, there's no more buses. None. Yeah, you're gonna have to Uber.
SPEAKER_01It's an Uber ride.
SPEAKER_02It's an Uber ride.
SPEAKER_01No, your wife.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Wake the kid up. Right. Pick me up. So then it's an Uber ride, then it's not as fun, then it's not, it's just not gonna do it, right? Sure. So after the show, I've I ended up finding my friend Scott. He's like, hey man, I gotta go back to the hotel, let my dogs out. You want to stop by for a minute. So I went up to his hotel. Hotel had a freaking balcony. When was the last time you've been in a hotel you could even open the window in?
SPEAKER_01You ever been? Not a not a not a cheap one. This hotel had a freaking balcony. Was it a cheap balcony?
SPEAKER_02I don't know, like a Hilton or something.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's a Hilton.
Setbreak Strategies And The Secret Bar
SPEAKER_02I mean, they all have balcony. But so then I got to pet dogs, which was cool. They gave me this bottle of water that has ball pH balance. Take it a nice big bottle of water. Before the water part? I got to pet their dogs. Whose dogs? Scott and Sarah's. Oh, okay. Yeah, we went back with uh Scott and Sarah to let their dogs out. Got it. Then Scott's like, here, come on with me. We'll go outside, let the dogs out. So we go to a little park up the road and let the dogs out. We chat for a minute. I'm like, fuck, now it's like 12:30. I gotta go, dude. His wife comes out comes out and she's like, hey, you want me to give you a ride home? Because they don't drink. So she was sober and they were gonna go get some food or something. She's like, we're gonna go drive around, get some food anyways. We'll drive you home. I'm like, nah, I'm gonna take my bus. I'm gonna get going, take my bus. I'll see you later. So I got my bottle of water. I'm going to the bus stop. Get to the bus stop and what time is this? Like 1240, 1240, something like that. Yeah, on a Friday? On a Friday night. Okay. Last bus leaving town. Okay. There's like three or four dudes hanging out at the bus stop. I'm like, God dang now. What this is gonna be, right? So I'm like, you know what? I've had the best day. I'm just gonna make some friends. So I'm the first one. I'm like, what's up, guys? How you doing? You got any change? They're like, what, dude? I'm like, oh, I just figured I'd try to fit in. They all laugh. Then one guy's picking on the other guy. He's like, give me one of them cigarettes, man. And it was like little hand-rolled half cigarettes, like he had stole the tobacco out of fucking cigarettes and re-rolled it and back into like zigzag. Homeless cigarette. He's like picking on his friend. I'm like, bro, don't be picking on your friend. Like, what the hell are you doing, dude? I'm making friends with these guys. They're all laughing. And then this one guy comes by, he's got this bike, man. You say bike? He's got this bike. He's like, you want to buy this bike? Like, dude, I don't know. I'm getting on a bus. It's 1245 at night. Why in the hell would I want to buy your stolen bike? If a if the bus doesn't show up. And he's like, come on, man, I need you to buy this bike, dude. Like 20 bucks for this bike. Like, dude, I'm not gonna buy this bike. You bought the bike. He like walks away and whatever. Dude, it was junk. And then the guy's talking with me and making friendlies and whatever. And uh guy's like, fucking 15 bucks, man. You should buy this bike. I'm like, dude, I'm not gonna buy your bike.
SPEAKER_01Like Chris bought the bike.
SPEAKER_02Here's what I'll do. Tell if you tell me I'll find a different white person that's exactly what I was saying. It's exactly what I was saying, but not in that way. But I was telling him that, by the way, I was interacting with them, that I am not your fucking Huckleberry here, boy. I am with you. I'm getting on the bus drunk at 12 45 in the night. I'm with you, dude. Like, I'm not buying your bike. I go when you sell it, can we go buy something together? Like, I'm here with you now, dude. He's like, Where'd you stop? Like, dude, I'm getting off to stop after you. You don't know where I'm stopping. I'm like, dude, you're stopping on 27th Street, I bet. He's like, Yeah, fuck you know that.
SPEAKER_01No, he's I don't remember what I'm like five dollars. You taking it? Five dollars. So then these guys are shit.
SPEAKER_00If you had more time, if there were more buses coming, you probably would have gone and stole a new bike with him.
Music Joy And Guitar Heroics
SPEAKER_02Yeah, weird. You guys would have cruised the city. So then he's like, ten bucks, dude. Just I need some fucking money. Just buy this bike. I'm like, dude, if you tell me where you stole this from, I'll give you ten dollars. I don't even want the bike back. I don't even want the bike. I'll give you ten dollars if you tell me where it's you stole it. He's like, I didn't steal it, dude. I'm like, bullshit. His buddy's like, nah, man. JR don't steal bikes. That's JR Washington. You don't know who you're talking to. JR fixes bikes. He supplies everybody with bikes. This is a nice bike. That's JR's bike. He's trying to sell you his bike. I'm like, dude, don't blame me. Just I no, this isn't what's going down. No way, dude. You're bullshitting me. And he shows me this bike, and it's a bunch of pieced together bike. It's a different set of handlebars, a different wheel, a different seat. He starts adjusting the seat for me, showing me the shocks, showing me how he fixed the fucking rim on the tire from beginning to end up.
SPEAKER_01He shows your receipts on everything.
SPEAKER_02He's like, dude, I fixed bikes, man. That's it. That's me.
SPEAKER_01That's what I do. I'm thinking he didn't steal the bike then.
Post-Show Logistics And Hotel Detour
SPEAKER_02So I'm thinking he didn't steal the bike. Yeah, there's no way he stole the bike. So I was like, all right, JR, I'm gonna buy your fucking bike for 10 bucks. You put a lot of work into this fucking thing. It looks great. But I do have a condition. I need you to load it on the front of the bus for me. And I need you to promise me that when you get off on your stop, you don't unload my bike from the bus and just take my money and my bike. Because I know you can do that shit, and I ain't gonna come running after you. Tell me you will do it. He's like, I'll load you up, man. I'll tell you what, I'll load you up and I'll show you how to do it. I'm like, I don't need to know how to do it. If I can't get the bike off, the bus driver will show me how to get the bike off. Just put it on there for me. So he puts it on there, he gets on the bus, and again I go back. I'm like, JR, I can't believe you sold it. Just tell me where you stole this bike, dude. I'll return the fucking bike, bro. You can steal it again. Like, come on, man. He's like, you didn't even give me the money yet. I'm like, because I'm waiting for you to tell me where you stole it. I'm telling you, and there was this other guy who was he was working at the venue apparently. He was on his bike and he didn't like this because he was on a bike. He's like, they could have stole my bike. So I'm like, you gotta tell me where you stole the bike, dude. And I'll return the bike. I don't need to tell him that I got it from J.R. Washington and J.R. Washington's bikes in the hoods. And this other guy on the bus goes, oh man, you know JR too. Did you buy one of his bikes? I'm like, what are you waiting? He goes, I go, yeah, it's on the front. Didn't you see him put it on there? He's like, no, I didn't see him. I thought he that was his bike. I'm like, well, it was till I bought it from him. I'm like, is this bike stolen? He's like, no, dude. JR has hooked everybody in the hood up with a bike. If you need a bike or your bike's broke, you find JR. He'll fix that shit.
SPEAKER_01Takes shit, like, yeah, breaks it apart, puts it back to new. I mean, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02Well, you bought it. So then we're riding, couple more stops pass, and I'm like, oh fuck. I don't have ten dollars. He's gonna beat your ass. I don't have a ten dollar bill. I don't have a twenty dollar bill. What do you have? I have a fifty dollar bill.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02I'm thinking to myself JR doesn't have$10. Damn it. I just paid$50 for this bike. I'm thinking to myself. And then I'm starting to think of like how I could back out of this deal. I'm like, there's no fucking way that these guys are gonna let me stiff JR, dude. You never think. Like, I'm not afraid of J.R.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, he doesn't have change. He dude.
SPEAKER_02He makes bikes. I ain't gonna ask some guy who I bought a bike off of who is bullying another guy for half burnt rolled, half hand rolled cigarettes at the bus stop at 2 45 in the morning on a Friday in November or late October.
SPEAKER_01It's a JR.
SPEAKER_02I understand who I was dealing with. So I told him. I said, I don't have your$10, JR. He looks at me and he's like, and I just slid him the fucking 50 without saying anything to anybody else. I said, Don't let him tell you. Don't let them know I gave you more than$10. That's I mean, that's he's like, I gotta$10. They won't know. I'm like, okay, bro. So now I got a friend in JR, Washington of JR's bikes. You better. And I got myself a new Schwin Trek hybrid. So I get to my bus stop and I'm trying to take this fucking bus off or this bike off the bus. He owes you. But I want more bike know how. And it's just me and the bus driver, and he's looking at me through his window right in front of me in his flat-faced window as I'm trying to rake this bike off. He's like, flip it up. You gotta flip it up, dude. I'm like, come help me. You clearly know how to do this. I don't know how to do this. You were here. You heard how I got this bike. He's like, you gotta flip the thing. So I flip the thing and then I start walking away.
SPEAKER_00He's like, hey, you gotta flip it back. You gotta flip it back.
Midnight Bus Stop And New Friends
SPEAKER_02I'm like, dude, you're gonna have to get out of your own bus. I'm on a bike now. See ya. I rolled my ass out. Bus drivers do not get out of other seats. He had to, because I had that fucking thing wrong, and he apparently would have dragged it if he didn't get out. So he gets out, he's like, fuck. I rode off, got home, parked that bike leaning up against my camper in my driveway. So is that I bought this bike. Hold on. I I know I've been talking a lot. I should have let you go. Tony, shut up. I bought this bike for one of the reasons I purchased this bike was so that I could ride it home, put it inside of my fence driveway, leaned up against my wife's camper, knowing that she was gonna wake up and say, What the fuck is this bike in our driveway?
SPEAKER_01Did you ask she asked you how much you paid for it? This I gave her the whole story, man.
SPEAKER_00So is it? Listed on Marketplace right now on this JR original bike.
SPEAKER_02Dude, I like the bike. It does need the back wheel's still fucked up. He didn't fix it all the way. He tried to show me where he fixed it. He's like, I got this bent rim I fixed up. I'm like, that ain't safe. And he's like, no, I fixed it up right. I got my friend balance it on his balancing machine up at the shop.
SPEAKER_01That ain't safe.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Dude. And and now J.R. Washington has 50 full dollars.
SPEAKER_02I don't imagine that 50 made it fastest drug dealer. That guy's dead. He was definitely on drugs.
SPEAKER_00You bought him$50 worth of it.
SPEAKER_02I thought to myself, as soon as I gave it to him, I'm like, where the fuck is this guy gonna split this bill? Not tonight, and he's not gonna be able to not do it tonight. You don't score a 50 and not do something about it that night. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna tell you right now, Chris, you probably have a hundred, maybe even more, of these stories.
SPEAKER_02I do, I just could never remember them. I had to write this one down. I wrote it down weeks ago.
SPEAKER_01Well, then you you weren't on mushrooms on this one. No, I don't do mushrooms. Okay, not mushrooms. Acid? No, I just was out having fun.
SPEAKER_02I had beers, Pepsi C. And some Pepsi Day C, probably.
SPEAKER_01I'm fucking with you, Chris. Calm down.
SPEAKER_02So according to Jay Chat GPT, why why me? No, according to ChatGPT, the summary and reflection is that a sold-out ticket, pit access, friends, euphoric show, post-show adventures, we'll give you the lessons of luck plus showing up, plus being patient, plus human respects equals a cheat code day.
SPEAKER_00You know, the last person that had a day like this wrote a song about it. Mm, I'm assuming.
The Ten-Dollar Bike That Cost Fifty
SPEAKER_02Next time your alarm goes off, bus is late, or poster sells out, the universe may hand you a cheat code. Ride it. That's what ChatGPT said. Alright, we're out. Sounds good. I like it. So next time I invite you to a show, I encourage you to come with me. I have fun. I have a lot of fucking fun. If I'm a legendary. You out there, you people listening, go have fun. No, I didn't care at all. Anytime, all night. You see my hat, an orange fucking hat. Yeah. I don't give a fuck what people think about me. I'm having fun, dude.
SPEAKER_00You're not gonna get shot in the wilderness with that hat on. Not in the wilderness, nope. Go out to the show, have fun, try mushrooms. That's the summary of today's show.
SPEAKER_02Silo Simon, baby. Well, I don't know why you think this is a mushroom trip show. I would have never been able to talk to this many people if I was on mushrooms.
SPEAKER_01We're just saying that because it irritates you. Because why? Because it makes because it gets you.
SPEAKER_02You're like, I'm done on mushrooms. Peace out. Top shelf stories.
