Ep. 100 | That Time Our Highschool Supported Racism

In this MILESTONE episode, J.Mix celebrates 100 episodes with a special appearance by her longtime friend and OG guest, Free, by clearing the air about the happenings of their highschool's problematic past. Additionally, J.Mix shares her plans on sustaining a podcast and balancing it with life’s evolving demands.

Give Free some flowers! Follow her @afrofoodiac on IG

Follow our host J.Mix @jmixplainsitall 

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Costumes worn to New Orleans school dance stir controversy amid national debate over NFL protest

Triple Threat Media
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Transcript

Introduction to Triple Threat Media

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Triple Threat Media is a New Orleans based production company that documents the humanity of multi-hyphenates in the arts and entertainment industries. They produce everything from music videos to live and virtual events, reels, commercials, and podcasts. The people behind Triple Threat Media are the most smart, multi-talented, and humble professionals in the greater New Orleans area who love and honor the art of storytelling. How do I know this? Well, Triple Threat Media is my company. If you've been following my artistic journey over the last 18 years, you know it's always involved some type of multimedia production. All of that seasoning has put me in community with the best industry professionals in this area who are ready to serve you in your next media project. Also, with every transaction, Triple Threat Media shares a cut of their earnings to directly support the sustainability and economic empowerment of New Orleans artists. When you book our services, you are helping individuals in those communities keep their lights on, tap into their creative aspirations, and level up their entrepreneurial ambitions. For more info and to book our services, visit triplethreatmedia.net. It's 2019. The year Game of Thrones ended on a terrible note. The year Lil Nas X became a household name. Beyonce headlining Coachella. Hot Girl Summer. Euphoria debuted. Disney Plus. Rise and Shine. Kylie Jenner. And the president, at the time, got impeached. This was also the year I decided that I would start a podcast. And not just any podcast. A podcast where I could let loose and chat unapologetically with open-minded individuals about the taboo, the uncomfortable, and the downright forbidden topics that have challenged my mind to reach infinite possibilities in my life and career. I was ready to break some cycles. So I called up one of my good friends, Free, for moral support. And I invited her to be the first guest. And the rest is history. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the Self-Word Millennial. I am your host, J-Mix, and today we are celebrating 100 episodes.

UNKNOWN 2:33

Hello.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

It feels out of body to say that at the current moment, only because it doesn't feel like a hundred episodes per se. And I'm hoping that within this episode that I can, even though we won't be talking about fully about like the whole hundred episode thing, I want to reflect on these last hundred episodes, even though I don't feel like we've had a hundred episodes. By the way, if you are watching on YouTube or anywhere with visuals, my friend Free, who has been My friend for a very long time since high school, the first guest of the Self-Wore Millennial back in 2020, before the pandemic, before everything just kind of turned upside down, Free has been there and is back after five years, and I'm so happy that you are here. Oh

SPEAKER_00 3:21

my God. Five years? When you say it out loud, it's like, what? Five? It's been that long?

SPEAKER_01 3:30

Like you'd be blinking. Like, I don't know. I feel like the older we get, the faster life just seems to go. Again, yeah, it doesn't feel like five years, but it has been that long because I remember when I started this and I remember where I was mentally. And so I invited Free for this episode. Mostly because it is an homage to our first episode, but also within the next episode that we're chatting about, we're going to be talking about more of the themes of what we talked about in episode one. I had filmed episode 100 by myself and I just wasn't feeling it. I tried to do it last week and I was just like, this is just not it. I'm at a point in my life right now where I do need a little bit of handholding. I'm just going to say it. I feel like I need support. And being a host of a podcast by yourself, I know so many podcasts that have co-hosts and, you know, just extra people to just kind of keep the banter going. But I think right now I need that. Not saying that I need a co-host. I would love a co-host at some point, I think. But right now, like, I just need at least someone else. And trying to do an episode on the 100th episode by yourself is a lot. Doing episodes on your own is a lot. So... I have Free here because Free has been on this journey, even though she hasn't been here since 2020. She has been on this journey and she has seen how it has transcended since I started back in 2020. And so I felt like who is more appropriate to reflect on it with me. Thank you. Thank you for being here

SPEAKER_00 5:05

to

SPEAKER_01 5:05

do that. No, thank

SPEAKER_00 5:05

you for inviting me back. Oh, my God. I love the podcast. First of all, self-aware millennial. What more could you say about that? Everybody, especially in times like these, self-awareness, we need that. So for you to bring it to the masses, thank you.

Reflecting on Self-Awareness

SPEAKER_01 5:22

You're welcome. I know the first conversation that we had was, I think I believe I asked you if you were a self-aware person and you told me that you were self-aware to know that you didn't know everything. That's what you said. Yeah. And, you know, it really stuck with me and it still sticks with me to this day. And I still feel that way as well. But I think now I feel like my self-awareness evolves because what I thought was self-awareness back in 2020 versus now, I think it's a little different. Just in the ways of like when I was when I was thinking about self-awareness back then, it was like, oh, I'm thinking about myself. I'm thinking about myself. What I need in the moment, I'm thinking presently really, knowing who I am, my boundaries, knowing what I like, what I don't like. And I think now, I still believe those things, but I think self-awareness now for me is also giving myself grace to just be wrong, And admit that I'm wrong. I think self-awareness is also like being able to admit your mistakes. I think it has more to do with like when you realize you did something wrong, taking accountability for it. So I feel like that's not where my head was back then. I think I was still learning how to be wrong and be wrong in a, not in a righteous way, but just in a way. I know it sounds so contradictory. But Yeah, so this episode, we're really just going to be reflecting on the last five years of this podcast and where it has gone, where I think it's going after we hit the hundreds, and how I feel as though it'll be sustainable, how I can sustain it, considering that I feel like my life has been changing. And that's inevitable. And the podcast has to kind of change with that. And it's not going to be the same podcast as it was five years ago, three years ago, two years ago. Because my life is always going to be different. It's always going to be changing. So, yeah. Yeah. That's a lot. So... One thing I can probably... So Free is... I think Free is going to kind of act as the representative for the rest of y'all, the listeners and people who are viewing, who have been following this podcast for a while and may have questions and maybe curiosities about how I've kept it going despite certain obstacles and things that have happened in my life throughout the duration of the podcast. I'm thinking right now, the one thing I think about is... When I quit World War II Museum, that was a big one. I remember talking about that and that being a big deal. I mean, all the pandemic times, I brought on a lot of my roller skate friends at that time. But that was, again, that was all in 2020. I feel like 2021, we still had podcast episodes in those other years, but it started to dwindle down because life was becoming back to post-pandemic times and I had Less time to focus on the podcast. So, I don't know. I feel like... I don't know what I feel like right now. And that's okay. That's okay. Yeah. So, Free. Like I said, Representative Free. Also representative of the rest of y'all. What has been some like topics that we have covered on the podcast that have struck you or that have maybe that you found memorable over the last five years? Even if it doesn't have to be like a topic that maybe you it could be a topic. It could be like a guest that I brought on. It could be anything. I'm just curious because like it's hard. I'm asking this because. As the host and as someone that basically just kind of does it and I receive the information, I don't always fully get a chance to hear the opinions of others. And if I do, it's kind of a random conversation and it's never in a full depth analysis, which is fine. I'm not looking for that, but I think for me, and I've always mentioned this on the podcast, I like reassurance and I'm like a... My love language is words of affirmation. So that's how I receive. And yeah, I'm just curious. Sorry, that was a really long question.

Revisiting Non-Monogamy

SPEAKER_00 10:24

No, you're perfectly fine. You've touched on a lot of topics over the years. One that stood out to me because that was one of the episodes that I really learned something. One of the topics, I know it was LGBTQ+. And I think the topic went on to polyamorous relationships. I forget what episode that is, but it was a while back. It was you and maybe like maybe one or two other guests. It might have been the

SPEAKER_01 10:54

one that I did with Andre, Susanna and Andre, I think. Maybe. Maybe. I think so. Maybe. I think that might have been it. Oh, God. It may not be their names. I apologize if I said y'all names wrong, but I know the girl's name was Susanna. Anyway. Hey, at least you got names I can't remember,

SPEAKER_00 11:12

right? I'm surprised I remember anything half the time. But that one stood out to me because I actually learned something. So I was not familiar with polyamory other than, okay, this one... There's the main relationship. Then you got the girlfriend of this one and the boyfriend of that one. And it's like a whole conversation that has to happen. And I was just like, what is this? But when I listened to the podcast and you broke it down and you really explained the whole nuances and the dynamics of the relationship and how consent and honesty is a big part of that to where this is not just a... Excuse my language. Cluster F. It makes

SPEAKER_01 12:00

sense. Oh, I can? Yeah, you can.

UNKNOWN 12:03

Yes!

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Oh, I guess that wasn't a thing when we started this podcast. No, you can now. Oh, yes, we've evolved. Yes, we have evolved. I'll bleep it out.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

You know, as somebody who is not familiar with that, because that's not my reality, so you come into it I'm not going to lie, with an ignorant lens. Yeah. Because you have a preconceived notion of what you think a polyamorous relationship is in the confines of a monogamous relationship. And you know within a monogamous relationship, it's kind of like, okay, it's just me and my person. There's a level of possessiveness there. And I don't want anybody to impede on that. Versus what I learned from it, I was like, okay, this is... It's still a... It still has some of the, I guess, rules, if you will, of a monogamous relationship. Yeah, it can. But it's kind of like you get different things from each person within it, if that makes sense. It's kind of like your normal relationship, say, with friends. Say, okay, I have this friend over here that I can do... X, Y, and Z with. But I can't necessarily do that with this friend over here. I have to do A, B, and C. So instead of feeling like, okay, I have to sacrifice myself and just compromise. Nah, I can do A, B, and C, X, Y, and Z, one, two, three, and everybody cool as long as there is an open line of communication. It's when you start lying and being shady that it's like, okay. Yeah. No, I learned a lot that episode. Thank you for that. You are so welcome. Thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

I really enjoy. I enjoyed all the non-monogamy themed episodes. I feel like those were the ones, especially at that time, because I was like deep into non-monogamy at that point. I felt like I was already really understanding of the whole story. Just the whole lifestyle that I was like, well, let me give this to the people that don't know. Especially, I mean, I'm not saying everybody that listens to this podcast is... Well, I would say majority of them are monogamous, but we do have people, at least majority of us, even the monogamous, even monogamy or people that practice monogamy, they're open to understanding other relationship styles. So... I appreciate you saying that. Definitely. And yeah, I guess I can, I want to quickly talk about that while we're on the subject matter. Why not? That's how we is. Yeah, non-monogamy. So not that it's anyone's business, but I guess, or any of y'all business, but like I've already been telling my business about my monogamy. Oh my

SPEAKER_00 14:54

gosh.

SPEAKER_01 14:54

I'm an anomaly. My non-monogamist. experiences and i will say just as my just what i've experienced over the last couple of years i'm not i don't regret anything i really don't i don't regret my experiences they they don't happen at all nearly as often i will say since i moved in with my current boy current boyfriend he's It's just been a different dynamic, and I don't think we've had time to really talk about what that's going to look like now that we live together. We haven't gotten to that point just yet. And I don't know if we were... I don't personally... I don't feel like I need another person, but if somebody does come along and... You know, I'm curious about them, sure, but majority of the time I realize... Because I've had little moments like that over the last couple of years, but... I realized that like it's just my body wanting to be physically intimate with this person or like I have like a crush on this person that maybe now that I'm 30 in my 30s. my discernment on things like it's like okay but do you really want to pursue this person because then i think about like oh this person has these things going on with them and i was like i don't want to i don't want to put myself in that and i don't want that kind of energy so like it's one of those things where it's like you know this person is not great for you but you still want them around because you're attracted to them so you learn to just because for me, I just wait for the crush to go away, and then it's gone, and I'm like, whew, thank goodness I didn't do anything, you know? That's that self-awareness

SPEAKER_00 16:39

kicking in. Yeah, yeah. Like, do I want this?

SPEAKER_01 16:43

Yeah, but as of right now, y'all, I still consider myself non-monogamous, but I'm not openly practicing. Like, I'm a monogamous non-monogamous, in case anyone wants to know. That's where I'm at right now. But some other stuff that we have chatted about, Cause I did the one with, what's his name? Andre. I think his name was Andre. Andre and Susanna. And then I did the one with Dylan, um, non-monogamy for dummies. And then we've also had conversations with, yeah, I know non-monogamy for dummies. That should be a book. It is, you know, I wonder

SPEAKER_00 17:15

if it, I wonder if

SPEAKER_01 17:16

it is

SPEAKER_00 17:17

now. I need, I'm going to be surprised. There's a blah, blah, blah for dummies of everything.

Podcasting During the Pandemic

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Yeah. I'll have to look that up. What else? I'm thinking about the people that I've spoken about it with on this podcast, but I've also spoken about it on other people's podcasts. I will also say thank you, by the way. Wow, I should have said that at the beginning. The sustainability of this podcast could not have happened if it was not for all the guests, including Free, that happened... You did this. Yes. Thank y'all. All the guests that have been on so far. Thank you for taking the time to have conversations with me and other people. Some of them, I'll have like two guests at one time that don't know each other and that are just kind of meeting for the first time and having conversations then. So thank you for just jumping in and being open enough to share that, not just with me, but with strangers. that are listening and that are watching. And I also want to thank my Patreon community because if it wasn't for y'all, the podcast, I could not even afford to keep the podcast on the streaming services. So I just want to thank y'all for that. before we keep going, just because that is something I should have said at the beginning. This is for my podcasters, by the way. People that have podcasts at the current moment or who are thinking of doing podcasts and aren't sure where to start or just need some wisdom from someone who is now at 100 episodes. The things that you will probably, if you haven't already, have to go through to just even get your podcast up and going... I will say every podcast is different. I've been listening to podcasts forever and everyone has their own take. Everybody has their own opinions and everyone does it the way they want. Some of them have two-hour episodes, three-hour episodes, 20-minute episodes. It's whatever you want. The world is your oyster. But in terms of how I was able to sustain my podcast, it was honestly just through really... Knowing that consistency really only worked on my end at the beginning when it was during the pandemic and not really having much else to focus on, I was really able to get my podcast off the ground because of that. The second thing is knowing when to take a break. I felt as though... Because I felt like when I started the podcast, things were just going really fast. And because of my consistency, it was doing really well. And... I was able to keep up with it for a bit, but then once life and everything just started opening back up, started needing to get a job and all this other stuff that comes back with having your regular, regular life, the pandemic was, at least on my end, a dream because I was able to just create, get paid by the government because I qualified and was getting like$600 a week. And... So I just kind of sat at home most days because I couldn't go anywhere really except roller skating, which was also another therapeutic thing to do. As a creative, it was a dream come true because you're skating, you're listening to music, and you're meeting people. It's like you feel like you're in a playground with other preschoolers. It really feels like you are a child again. And to kind of get that experience and that privilege, to be able to experience it as an adult, it feels surreal because it's like oh okay so this is how life used to be like for me as an adult that used to be a child like you almost feel that way again and when you're in not necessarily like a childlike mindset but you're in a space where all you are required to do is play and create like it is encouraged because you have nothing else to do when you're there like it's it sparks other things and like people were making what banana bread and like what was other things people were doing during the pandemic they

SPEAKER_00 21:32

were doing so much they were so from what I remember for the pandemic people started cooking more and they would upload like cooking videos drawing knitting you name it you can think about one person was on a damn what is that thing a unicycle there was somebody on a unicycle like just doing crazy shit on a unicycle I'm like I wish I could spend my time like that. I did not. Yeah, people were planting, like, growing stuff. I did not take advantage of the pandemic like I should have.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

That's okay. Look. No, it's not. But what I'm saying is that, like, you know, I mean, God forbid another pandemic comes. I'm

SPEAKER_00 22:11

just saying that we don't want it, but we do. I'm out. I'm not coming back to work. I'm sorry. Whatever y'all want to give me next time, I'm taking it. I learned my lesson, okay? Yeah. I'm taking it next time. I'm staying home.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Is this conversation speaking to you right now? Do you feel the self-awareness taking over your body like a real good song? I want you to make a mental note to share the Self-Aware Millennial podcast with someone you love because sharing is caring and love is not possessive. Sorry, y'all, but y'all can't have me to yourself. But for real, y'all know how good it feels when someone shares with you, whether it's their resources, their food, their wisdom or their spouse. OK, well, some of us spread the love to capitalize your mind and practice the gift of sharing and want to help us reach new audiences. Rate us five stars on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you're feeling extra giving, leave a compliment. Come on. You know you want to enjoy the rest. Not many of us are going to be able to start a podcast in the pandemic at this point. But what you can do, because yes, most of us who are starting one, unless you are, I don't know, a high schooler or something, are much younger and you still have a structured outline of your life where you go to school, you go to your after school activities and then repeat. The rest of us...

High School Memories and Reflections

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Right? Why'd you say that? What? Why'd you say high school when you started? The only reason why I'm saying that... It's because you remember no bitch assness. We were podcasting before podcasting was a word at lunch. Yep. And we would literally just sit up there. You would record our conversation, singing, dancing, all that stuff. And I can only imagine had we known what podcasting was going to be like years later, what we would have did. And at the same time, I'm like, okay, after we graduated high school, we all went our separate ways. I don't know how that would have worked. But I'm starting to notice now people get on Zoom. We had Skype. Yep. We were on Skype talking. Skype. Oovoo. Oovoo. Oovoo. It was Oovoo. Yeah. Skype. And I'm like, that was so much fun. Yeah. I ain't gonna lie. I'll say their name. Dominican stifled our creativity.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

I'm so happy we're saying their name now because we did not say their name in episode one. We didn't? We didn't. We were trying to be like, yeah, we went to a private Catholic

SPEAKER_00 24:45

girls high school. Y'all keep sending me emails. I'm not responding to them.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

You

SPEAKER_00 24:50

get emails from them still? Yeah, because they're asking me for money. I'm not paying them. That's

SPEAKER_01 24:53

interesting. I must have either unsubscribed or something because they don't send me nothing.

SPEAKER_00 24:57

I still get the emails, but they go to my Yahoo. I don't even check that. So, yeah, y'all still sending me emails and yeah, I'm still ignoring them. You could just take me off at this point. You know... We need to talk about them for a second. Shout out to them for... The education. The education. It was great. And I got my lifelong friends here. But y'all pissed me off after I graduated college, after we begged y'all for that, what was it, 10-point grading scale? Oh, I forgot about that. And they kept telling us, like, oh, no, that separates us from everybody else. And then you get it. You know what my GPA could have been? Y'all messed up my tops. I'm just telling y'all that right now. I

SPEAKER_01 25:38

forgot about that. I really did. I totally forgot about that. I don't think I was one of... I mean, yeah, I don't remember the fullness of that. Oh,

SPEAKER_00 25:47

I remember it all. But... But... Y'all had me with Crispitos, though. I hope y'all still got those.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

I'm sure they do. They have to. I feel like if they don't have anything else that hasn't... Outside of Rally Day and the other stuff that they had over there, I feel like the Crispitos probably never went away.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

I'm proud of them for the STEM program. The building is nice. We literally tried to get better for the black and brown students, kind of trampled over that. But I guess the little W's that we did get cool. I'm still sore about

SPEAKER_01 26:26

that. Are you talking about the thing that happened with the eighth grader and her... Oh, yeah. Oh, the senior and the father with the...

SPEAKER_00 26:32

It was the student body president and the dad. And the dad. And the father-daughter dance. Kaepernick, Trump. Yeah, that foolishness. And then next after that, little kids getting called the N-word. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Yeah. I feel like... Oh, man. Yeah, I'm not letting that go. No, I want to talk. I actually do want to talk. We didn't... That didn't happen during the pandemic. That happened before the

SPEAKER_00 26:54

pandemic. Yeah, it happened before. But we didn't

SPEAKER_01 26:56

talk about it in that episode. I'm surprised we didn't talk about that.

Addressing the Elephant in the Room

SPEAKER_00 26:58

You know what? I think because things were still fresh. Oh. And I think, you know, from the aftermath of the black alumna group and them trying to, I guess, figure out where they were going to move and all of this other stuff. And we were... Still sore about it. I'm going to be honest. I'm still sore about it. So it was kind of like Voldemort with us for a little minute. Not Voldemort. You know, you talk about it, but you don't say the name. Yeah. Just so that the wound didn't get reopened. Because at that point, it was bad. It really was.

The High School Incident

SPEAKER_01 27:34

no i think okay so yeah no yeah i'm sorry y'all i know we're supposed to be talking about podcasting and all that but like this is actually a very this is something we need to talk about don't mind us we need to talk about this where i could quick anybody that is from dominican or whatever feel free to chime in comments wherever i don't care feel free but no i want to mention something about that because i remember when that all went down i think i may have even mentioned it to you at one point but i feel like now that it's At least five years removed. It must have been much longer at this point. Yes, it's longer. I do know that when it happened, my mother at that point was still doing costuming for Dominicans high school plays. The directors for the Dominican plays, I will not name them, but anyone who knows them knows them. Usually they love my mom. She started doing stuff when I was doing plays there. And she kind of continued after I graduated. And she was there up until that point. Because, because, because they let her go. Like my mom was only contracted through them to do costumes and stuff, whatever. But I think came that spring, they made an excuse as to why she couldn't come back. Without fully saying that was because of me being involved with... basically trying to get justice for the black students at Dominican for what had happened between the senior president at the time and her father at that father-daughter dance. We should also kind of talk about what happened. So what happened was there's a father-daughter dance that normally happens at Dominican, still happens, I'm pretty sure, but this particular time, It's like they dress in themes, like the fathers and daughters dress. They usually theme it up when they come together, you know, and then they do the dance, whatever the music's playing, blah, blah, blah. But also there's like chaperones there that are supposed to kind of approve of what these fathers and daughters are wearing before they go in. Somehow it slipped through the cracks that there was a father and a daughter that came as Trump and Kaepernick. And at that time, there was a lot of controversy over Kaepernick's kneeling and You know, I think Trump was obviously still big back then talking about, like... I think he... God, he wasn't president, was he? No, not yet. He wasn't president yet. No, not yet. He hadn't... Okay. I can't even remember. Like, I can't remember what...

SPEAKER_00 29:54

I think he was... I think he was running. Okay. Or, like, just throwing his hat into the ring to campaign.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

And I remember him being very vocal about it. So he was kind of... At the forefront of anti-kneeling, anti-subtle, silent protest during sporting events.

SPEAKER_01 30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Claiming that you're reprimanding your American rights or freedom or blah, I don't know, something along those lines, where it's like you're not a true American if you're kneeling or doing anything outside of putting your hand on your heart.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Correct. Correct.

The Fallout and Community Response

SPEAKER_01 30:35

And I feel like even at that point, that kind of sparked the movement where other people who were kind of on Kaepernick's side of things were either not, obviously they probably weren't kneeling, but maybe they weren't standing up and putting their hand over their heart at the beginning of the school day or doing, you know, they just, they weren't doing the things that were just being told that they had to do. So in this instance, there was a photo that got leaked from Snapchat and With the father and the daughter. The daughter was kneeling. The father was, like, Trump. Daughter was Kaepernick. And father, from the picture I remember seeing, got on the news and everything, like, pointed at the daughter. I forget what the caption said. I think it may have said, like, you're fired or something, something, something. I think it was. Something like that. It was very tongue-in-cheek, but I guess it was also, like, a picture that they thought was never get out. Like... These people pay a lot of money to go to a school to be smart and not be that smart at the same time. But it is what it is. So that happened. Outrage. All hell broke loose. You know, we, myself, Free, Caitlyn as well. Shout out to Caitlyn. Shout out to Caitlyn. And a bunch of us, not just us, but there was a whole bunch of us that came and was just like, you know, like, what the fuck? What's going on? Like, why haven't y'all done anything? And I remember we were trying to have a conversation with the dean of the school at the time or was it the president?

SPEAKER_00 32:06

I don't

SPEAKER_01 32:06

remember. We

SPEAKER_00 32:07

were trying to talk to whoever we would, you know, have the time of day to see us. it even trickled into more than that guys. It was like all of the black alumni from that school. And it did not matter what your year was. They came in full force. They made a Facebook group. We were in that group. Um, And this is where it gets sore for me. So we're in a group. We're all talking about our experiences at this PWI and how things like this are not just isolated incidents. This is like a trickle effect depending on what's going on, whatever the social climate was, all of that good stuff. So... Myself, Jessica, and Caitlin, I guess we were the young people at the forefront. We were more the younger ones, yeah. We were very vocal. We were on our Facebook pages. We even went on, it was another podcast or it was a radio show. We went on two. It was at Lil Dizzy's, Petey Paul. And the other one was at Lil Dizzy's. What is his name? I see his face. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 33:09

I see his face too.

SPEAKER_00 33:10

You got glasses. Yeah. I've seen you recently. I forget your name.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

It's going to come back, but

SPEAKER_00 33:15

yeah. Put it somewhere in the comments or the caption later on. But we went on that. A lot of people got wind of it. And when it was time to draft, I guess, the formal letter

SPEAKER_02 33:28

to

SPEAKER_00 33:29

submit to the school to say, hey, these are our grievances. We need these particular faculty members, you know, either reprimanded or, quite frankly, get rid of them. They're not conducive to anything. A few of them come up, and the reason why, because I forgot this part, After the photo came out and everybody was talking about it, underclassmen, they had to be like eighth grade, ninth grade. They were black and white upperclassmen called them the N-word. So naturally you go to your administrative person. And I think it was Ms. Salvaggio at the time. And they told her what happened. And this is their account. I wasn't there. I'm just going by what these kids told us that instead of trying to thoroughly investigate who said what or who did this, because this is supposed to be not what a Dominican night is supposed to be. That's not sisterly. That's not anything. She was like, this is a sad day at Dominican. Yeah. And just summed it up at that. And I was like, what? She does that. Oh, my goodness. I was like, what? So that's what also riled us up to create this group. So when it came down to formulating the letter, we were all supposed to have input. The older alumna were spearheading it. And there was one particular meeting I didn't get to go to because I was at work to where, you know, we've had words in the group chat because sometimes you You don't see eye to eye with a lot of stuff. And they ganged up on Caitlyn from what I was told from that meeting. If I was at that meeting too, they probably would have came for me and it would have been... It would have been way worse.

SPEAKER_02 35:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

I think I was there at that meeting. Yeah. It would have been way worse. Because like I said, we did exchange words with the older set. Because at that point, the reason why we had the exchange of words is because, you know, we're trying to enact real change. And what you're trying to do is compromise and kind of sort of, you know, placate words. I wouldn't go so far as to say the oppressor, but, you know.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Well, you know, another part of that that I thought about, and I think we also kind of figured out, was that a lot of them had children there still.

SPEAKER_00 35:53

Yeah, one of them did.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

And didn't want their kids to be kicked out.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

Exactly, because it was going to come.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

So they had to play it safer, which is why I feel in the end, Dominican ended up siding or at least listening to them more than they listen to us because we have nothing to lose. They do.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Not just that. We were like, rah, rah, we're coming.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

We were the Malcolms. We weren't the Martins.

Reflections on Personal Growth

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah, we were definitely not Martins. I was like, look, y'all gonna have to get me because I'm not stopping. I was so livid. I was like, look, this gotta give. And the only reason why I got so mad is no, I wasn't directly called the N-word ever at school. But Obama got elected. I will never forget this to this day because that was when my rose-colored glasses got slapped off my face. And what I mean by that is when you go to PWIs, Growing up, they always, always, always present this whole like, oh, this is a family. Everybody loves each other. We're all friends. And then Obama gets elected. I'm a sophomore at this point. So at Dominican, they all have different sweaters. They have the black sweaters for the underclassmen. When you become a junior, you get a red sweater. And when you become a senior, you get a navy. So you had people showing their political affiliations based on, well, upperclassmen, because we could and do it based on their political parties. So if you were red Republican, you could be a senior, but you're wearing that junior sweater. If you're a senior, because obviously juniors don't have them, you know the seniors, had their Navy sweaters. Well, no seniors would have had their junior sweaters already. They would have had their red sweaters. So if they were a senior, but they were Republican, they wore their red sweater. Oh, I see what you mean. If they were Democrat, then they just, you know, stay to uniform. And if they were neutral, they, they wore black. And then you have people in our class that we, quite frankly, I felt like I was friends with, but you're going on fake. This is how old this is. I didn't have Facebook at the time. I had MySpace, though. They had some of them on MySpace. I will never forget. This girl broke. Your ass was broke. I ain't going to say your name, but she was broke. Talking about Obama is going to be the N-word house, not the White House anymore, and you're coming for my parents' taxes. Bitch, your parents do the same shit that I do. And what my mom did, my mom was a teacher. Like, your parents weren't making so damn much to where that would affect you. And I hate when people talk about taxes anyway, because this is why I feel like... Who was

SPEAKER_01 38:38

paying taxes? Like, none of us were. None of us in high school were paying

SPEAKER_00 38:41

taxes yet. And even your parents, it's kind of like, when people talk about taxes... I mean, we were. Some of

SPEAKER_01 38:45

us probably were. If we were 16, we could work.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Oh, yeah. But

SPEAKER_01 38:49

still.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

But this is why I say people... really need to get a handle on education and why college should be free for you to electively choose to go. Because I don't know about you, but when I went to college and you had your tuition, they literally showed you a breakdown of where all of your tuition money was going. And depending on what type of college you went to, so... I went to UL. So they're trying to get their sports at the time, trying to get their sports up. So a lot of the tuition went to sports. Then a dollar went to the library. I was like, why the hell a dollar only going to the library? But, you know, when you're trying to get that sportsman money. You put your money where you want it to go. So I'm using that as an example because that is the same thing with taxes. You can literally, as public knowledge people, you can go online, go to whatever your government forum is, whether it's just the city breakdown, state breakdown, government as a whole. You can literally see an itemized list of where all your money is going. And quite frankly, a lot of it is just change that you would pick up off the damn ground. You talking about people trying to take your money? Girl, you ain't even going to see that. But I digress. So that's what I mean by, you know, why we got so riled up when that situation happened, because we had just went through that as sophomores. And it's like now it's like deja vu. This stuff keeps happening. It can't keep happening. But like you said, the older alumna had kids there. They have a stake. You don't pay thousands of dollars. You don't want it to just go down the tubes because some young upstarts are causing a ruckus. And now they're singling out your kid. So let me compromise with these people real quick. And

SPEAKER_01 40:37

I'm not really sure if anything ever came of that. I'm not sure because, I mean, that wasn't something that was communicated to me. You probably neither, Caitlin.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

No, one of them got a position, remember? I think she's still there.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

Like an actual position within the school? Like as a what?

SPEAKER_00 40:55

I forget what she was. It was like some type of position they created and... One of them got appointed to it. And remember, we knew she got appointed because I think it was after that. I don't remember exactly how long. Something else came about. And the younger kids, remember, they started kind of getting into, well, we got to say something. And we specifically said, this particular person, they're going to have you talk to her. Do not trust her. Because she was at the school. I think she might still be there.

J.Mix's Plans for the Podcast's Future

Advice to the Younger Self

SPEAKER_01 41:29

Today's episode is unofficially sponsored by Self Reflection. It's free, painful, and available 24-7. Side effects may include crying in your car, texting your ex, pivoting your career, and admitting you're wrong. Use responsibly. I guess I say all that to say I'm so happy that we kind of communicated that because I feel like that needed to be said, even though it has nothing to do with being 100 episodes. But I also think that it is a precursor to why the podcast exists, first and foremost. Because if you think about even just what I experienced with the World War II Museum, it was kind of deja vu as well. It's in the same context. And now that I'm a business owner, knowing that Dominican is a privately owned school, and just knowing how it works on the administrative side to an extent, I can... not necessarily empathize with them I don't empathize with them at all but I think because I have more knowledge about like how it all works and why and why you know businesses exist the way they do and how they can be not necessarily malicious or like how they are able to trickle truth information so that they stay on the right side of the government. How do I put this? How do I put this? I think I just understand more about business structure. not unfortunately, I think I need to know this. I think I need to know this so that when I see like something bad happening and justice is happening and whatnot, like I can call it out easier and I'm able, I'm more able to just understand where their head space is just because I'm experiencing it for myself right now as a business owner. But yeah, that World War II museum, World War II museum, I'm not even about to go into all that again. Y'all, there's episodes about that. That kind of shook me. Throughout the 100 episodes. What else has shook me? I think there were some friendships and relationships that I had during that time period that are no longer there. Not necessarily due to the podcast, but just due to having differences in different opinions that are related to what we were just talking about. Just having... Everyone has nuanced opinions on racial themes within... of the American context, I would even say, because not that they don't exist elsewhere, but like here it's just very prevalent because this country was built off of that. That's why we, that's why this country exists. And that's like black people kind of built this country and white folks obviously like benefited from it the most. We say like we're black, We are black, black people. We still only about maybe 13, 20% in general. We live in a predominantly black city. So it feels as though there's more black people than there actually are. But when you go elsewhere, you go anywhere else outside of this city, outside of this, anywhere that is not urban, anywhere that is not like any of the rural places, all like it's flooded with white folks. And, you know, I realize that. And I sometimes forget that. And because of that, There's a lot of people that have not kind of experienced racism or prejudice from a perspective that relates to systemic racism within America. Anyway, wow, that was a lot. Another thing I want to quickly talk about. Wait, I kind of talked about that already. I kind of talked about burnout. I talked about like taking breaks. I did that already. Let's see. Finally. Oh, look, she made it. All right. Well. Aria's here, y'all. She always makes her appearance at least once every episode. And I think this is a great time to quickly just kind of talk about where I think I want this podcast to go in the next couple of episode seasons. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to structure it just yet. As y'all know, this is like a self-produced podcast, mostly by myself. I sometimes have help. Sometimes I have people that can come in and edit. Sometimes I have people come in and just help me, you know, structure the podcast. But most of the time it's just me and when I have the time out of my extremely busy schedule. But what I'm hoping for the next season of this podcast, because I am getting older, because all of us millennials are now grown adults, right? grown-er adults. I want to focus our communications, our conversations on themes that we are currently experiencing. I know for myself, I am 33 years old, and I am now in a place where I remember back in 2020, not that I really didn't want kids at the point, but I wasn't really thinking about them. Now I'm like, maybe I should hurry up and get another one, but also I think about how much I've don't have the money for one and that I have the choice if I want one right now. So like I'm kind of battling that and I want to kind of, we talked about the biological clock on the podcast before, but I feel like now that I am in the thick of it, I'm like at the age where majority of women are like, Ooh, what do I do? I want to just kind of do some more remarks on that. And now, you know, Free got a whole child now, and I feel like Free did not have a whole child five years ago. So I think it's going to be interesting. We'll probably talk about that in the next episode a little bit too. Actually, we definitely will because we're talking about sex. So, duh, that'll be in the next episode. And I do want to also kind of give– I want to start giving some, like, advice to people– people that are in their 20s people that are just trying to find their way this is a podcast about self-awareness and I do think that one thing I would love to do I'm going to start with you free for this episode is I'm going to I will ask you this question I'll ask it to you right before we end and we're about to be ending just a moment but let me get this and then I will ask you this but I want to make sure that these next couple of episodes are intentional. I want it to also feel sustainable for myself because I don't know necessarily if I am going to continue to put out these episodes very often at the moment. I want to, but my life right now has me in 10 billion different locations and I want... To still be able to focus on the things that I take priority in my life, which is mainly my health, mainly my family and friends. I want to make sure I have time for them. I also want to make sure that I have time for the things that nourish me, like my music that I have been neglecting for feels like years now because I just don't have the time. And focusing on Triple Thread Media, which is a Just a branch of the music that I'm already making. I want it to be, but I'm not there just yet. So with all that in mind, it's like also hosting a podcast. That's a lot. That's a lot right there. Look at all those balls I'm trying to juggle. It's impossible. I don't think even a juggler can juggle all those balls. So why can't I? How can I? So that's what I want. And I want it to be structured. I need structure. So if you see this or hear this, wherever you are, if you are interested in helping me do that, there's a place for you here and we can collaborate and work together. As most of you already know, y'all have seen the stuff that's on my podcast page. Y'all have seen what's on Instagrams and our Patreon and everything. You see what I'm capable of. You've seen the stuff I do with Triple Bear Media. I have a lot of capabilities. I am very talented, I find, when it comes to just being a creative and even just getting a vision out there. And one thing that I really do pride myself in is that I will never not... do something because I'm scared to do it. I will try it. Even if it's just once, I'm going to try it. And even if I fail at it, it is what it is. I won't feel bad because at least I tried. Before we leave, this is something I'm going to start doing with all my guests because I really do enjoy asking this question. I even ask it to myself. So, Free, we are both in our Jesus year, right? 33.

UNKNOWN 50:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 50:22

So if you could tell yourself, your 23-year-old self, give your 23-year-old self advice for your upcoming 10 years, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 50:32

Go outside. What I mean by that, man, please see outside. See things outside of just your general scope. There's more to life than where you live. There's more to life than just the friend group that you've made. Hell, there's more outside of your life than the family that you have. Go learn something because that's why we're in the predicament that we're in right now is that a lot of people just want to remain in their bubble. Burst it. go eat that food that you said looked nasty it's probably good go to this place that you didn't even you don't even know how to pronounce it go don't let people hold you back and what I mean by people holding you back it's not necessarily the people in your life holding you back sometimes it's you creating the excuse that these people are holding me back and in actuality it's you you're scared to travel by yourself you're scared to go eat in this restaurant alone you're scared to go see this movie Go do stuff for yourself. Please. As for 23-year-old me, I always wanted to be outside, but I wanted people to be outside with. And because of that, I feel like I've missed out on a lot. What else would I tell 23-year-old me? And this is just an insider for me and my cousin. Lady and the Tramp don't do that. Okay? Okay. Leave the spaghetti on the plate. On the fork. That was from episode one when we had the sex conversation. And I was like, oh, yeah, Lady and the Tramp, you know, spice it up. Oh, yes. To this day, five years later, my cousin still cracks that joke. Oh, my gosh. It's an insider between the two of us. And that's one of the beautiful things I've taken away from this podcast. What else I would say to a 23-year-old me? Be true to yourself. Be true to yourself. Stop code switching early. Yeah, that was one of the things I recently done in the past, which I was about to be three. I want to say four years ago. Stop code switching at work. The best thing ever. Oh, it's liberating.

SPEAKER_01 52:53

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:54

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

And just, I guess. You know, the friends that you do have, value them. Value your friends. And learn how to communicate. That's the advice I would give 23-year-old me. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 53:14

I love that. Thank you for sharing that, Bree. So, thank y'all for listening. I hope that y'all join us for the next episode, which will be chatting about sex as a millennial. In 2025. All right, y'all. Bye. Thank you.