Depression and the Recover Your Soul Process: Finding Hope, Healing, and Self-Compassion

Depression can feel incredibly isolating, heavy, and difficult to explain—especially when you’re trying so hard just to keep moving through life. In this episode, Rev Rachel shares her personal experience with depression, anxiety, addiction, emotional overwhelm, and the spiritual journey that slowly helped her begin reconnecting with herself, her soul, and a deeper sense of hope.

This conversation is not about bypassing mental health or pretending there is a quick fix. It’s about compassion. It’s about understanding that being human is complex, and that our emotional pain, patterns, beliefs, stories, nervous systems, and spiritual journeys are all deeply connected and there is light on the other side.

Through the lens of the Recover Your Soul process, this episode explores how depression can sometimes become a protective response to overwhelming emotions, fear, stress, trauma, and self-rejection. Rev Rachel shares how learning to accept herself, release control, process old pain, and reconnect with her Higher Power became part of her healing journey alongside therapy, medication, and spiritual practice.

In this episode, we explore:

•  Depression from a spiritual and emotional healing perspective
•  The connection between addiction, anxiety, and depression
•  Why feelings are important information
•  The role of medication and self-compassion in healing
•  Patterns, beliefs, and stories that contribute to emotional suffering
•  Letting go of self-rejection and learning to love yourself
•  Finding hope and beginning your healing journey one step at a time

If you are walking through a dark season right now, this episode is a reminder that you are not broken, you are not alone, and healing is possible in many different forms.

The Recovery Your Soul Podcast courses and content is for educational purposes only and is not affiliated with or representative of any organization, recovery group, or religion. And reflect the personal experience and opinions of Rev Rachel Harrison and her guests. RYS claims no responsibility, any person or entity for any loss, liability, damage caused or alleged to be caused, direct or indirectly by the use application or interpretation of the information presented within. 

Transcript

Naming Hopelessness With Kindness

Rev Rachel Harrison 0:00

There are definitely times in our life where we feel pretty hopeless. I know I was there at one point in my life too. And sometimes I still can have dark moments. But the beauty of our journey is that it's all okay. That when we love ourselves through it, when we stop denying how we feel, we might be able to move out of what feels too much. And depression, which is our topic for today, is one of these aspects. How can we see it from the recover your soul lens? How can we open to our healing, to having hope and self-compassion and loving ourselves to our own well-being? Enjoy the episode. Welcome to the Recover Your Soul podcast and community, a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life. My name is Reverend Rachel Harrison. I started Recover Your Soul after having profound changes in my life from my recovery of alcoholism, codependency, people pleasing, and control addiction. I was guided to share the tools and principles of spirituality and the recover your soul process to help others transform their lives as mine was transformed. For us to overcome external circumstances, we need to turn the attention to ourselves, focusing on our interchange and healing. Positive results in our lives will follow. Welcome to the Recover

Depression Through A Spiritual Lens

Rev Rachel Harrison 1:20

Your Soul Podcast. It's Rev Rachel. Thank you so much for being here with me today. Today we're going to talk about recover your soul and depression. I recently asked a question on the private Facebook page about what people wanted to hear more about in episodes. And one of our community members said that they would like more information about depression and how that works with the recover your soul steps, which I thought was a great question. I'm not a medical professional. I feel like I need to say that first. And so when I talk about things, I want you to always have discernment and take what you need and leave the rest because there's a lot of factors that go into how our brains work, what mental health is, how our spiritual systems work, what this work is as a soul, what it is as a body. There's a lot at play. But depression has an important part of something for us to talk about. I struggled with depression for most of my life. And I was on medication, on and off medication forever, from basically the time that I was 18 years old until I got sober and started doing this work. And what I think is really interesting is that it's important for us to really settle into our own being and ask ourselves questions about how we can best resource

Sadness Versus Depression Chemistry

Rev Rachel Harrison 2:45

ourselves at each moment. Depression, similarly to addiction, sadness is not depression. And you will definitely have moments in your life where something intense is happening and you are in a deep level of sadness. But the sadness can turn into a chemical which creates a depression, similarly to addiction, right? You drink maybe because you're celebrating and you're having the best time in the world, and there is something that can kick that into gear. And then the chemicals take part in your brain and you become dependent on it. Or maybe, like me, you used alcohol as a way to tap your feelings, to numb the feelings a little bit, to be able to be in your skin and be able to handle life that felt a little uncomfortable, and that gave you the reprieve from that. And then eventually the chemicals kick in and you become addicted. And that was what happened to me in terms of my addiction to alcohol. I definitely was an alcoholic and drinking alcoholically, or now we call it a substance abuse disorder. I can't remember. There's a whole use the words that work for you. But depression is interesting because I'm not going to talk about it on a clinical level. I'm going to talk about it on the spiritual level that has been given to me through my own spiritual teachings, my own spiritual research on myself and what my guides tell me. First, I think that it's really important that we recognize that how we feel is really important because part of what happens in some of the what becomes mental disorders is it's us bypassing and trying to push away feelings that we're feeling that we don't know how to feel. And so they get expressed in different ways. It's the same as we talk about Louise Hay was famous for being able to really talk about what's in your mind comes out in disease in your body. And so if you look at what depression is in terms of a disease, it is a way that our brain is dealing with painful, difficult, complex, stressful situations, feelings, how we are in our body. And so the work of recover your soul is around acceptance and love and being as compassionate to yourself as possible and releasing old stories and how we feel about ourselves and what we think about ourselves and what we think we're supposed to be and how we're supposed to be in the world, opening

A Personal Story Of Dark Moments

Rev Rachel Harrison 5:15

up to a spiritual journey and an acceptance of ourselves. When I think about depression that I had when I was younger, and I went through some really dark, dark times. I've told the story a couple of times about being here in this room because this is my art studio in the backyard, my little she shed. And I used to come out here to escape my family, which was it was crazy in the house. I had a husband and two sons. The house is small to start out with, it's only 1400 square feet. And so any sound that is in any part of the house goes to the whole house. So when they moved out of being little kids and into more people, right? I had all these energies. I had these two boys with this just wild energy. And then I had a husband with wild energy, and I didn't know how to handle it. So I would come out here and I would escape and I would do art and I would be on my own. I'd watch TV and I would drink a lot as my way to get out of that. But depression, oh, that's my story. Okay, so coming back to sorry. So I'm here in this room and I'm just feeling overwhelmed with everything and not knowing how to handle it. And I think that's the number one thing to really give yourself credit that you you don't know how to handle it. And that is a very painful place to be. So I'm in this room and I'm just thinking to myself, I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to kill myself because I'm not in that place. But I just want the pain to go away. And if I could just close my eyes, if there was some switch that you could just switch and say, game over, done with this game. I don't want to be here anymore. It's too hard. It feels too hard. I would have flipped the switch, right? But I got this direct message that I now know is my higher self and the guides that I now am so grateful that I have more clarity about what they're saying. And it was that reminder

Medication As A Reset Tool

Rev Rachel Harrison 7:17

that we're souls. And really what they said was, you are here and you get this lifetime as this person, you get this life as this person, as Rachel. And it's actually a pretty good one. I know that it hurts, but you're middle class in America, you're white, you're educated. Come on, what else do you need? Really? You know, you're we set you up pretty good. And I could feel the truth in that, that there was importance to understand that I was in deep, deep pain, so much pain that I would love to just be out of it. But at the same time, I could feel my soul calling and saying, No, like you are here to do work on yourself, to be part of this, to be present. And it was that particular experience that I had that that began a switch for me because I've been struggling with it with depression. You know, in addition to my addiction up and down, I kept going to doctors and saying, I'm not happy. I don't feel good, I don't feel good in my head, I can't sleep. And I was on everything from Prozac to Affexor to Lexapro to Well Butrin. I did them all, right? And what they would do is that they would give me a little lift so that I didn't fall into that place where the only thing I could think of was game over, you know? And thank God for that. So I think that's the piece where if you're in that state, you might not have a regulatory system within you. Your system may need to be reset because it gets very accustomed to not having the right chemical structure. And that's the beauty of medication is that medication can go in and reset or elevate those chemicals so that you can lift up enough to be able to look around. The chemical adjustment is not going to fix what's going on inside of you, which is pain, which is complexity, which is our stories, our patterns, our journey. So I think before we start saying, you know, how do I solve this problem? You stop seeing it as a problem and you start recognizing that it is incredibly complicated and difficult to be a human being. Absolutely. It doesn't matter whether you have enough money to do whatever you want. Look at all the rich people who have tons and tons of money. They struggle with depression, with self-esteem issues, with anxiety, just like everybody else, or whether you are really in a desperate situation and have a whole other experience. Everybody has the experience that they're having. And those experiences have feelings and emotions. And the feelings and emotions is why our souls are here to have this incredibly rich wild ride experience. But the depression, we can get lost in the depression. We can get lost in the energy and the hopelessness that comes from that. And if we are willing to look deeply at ourselves with rigorous honesty, as they say in 12 steps, and not to look for some Pollyanna solution, but to step into the journey of your soul's hero's journey and recognize that even moments of depression might be part of your experience into getting

Depression As Protection From Too Much

Rev Rachel Harrison 10:44

well. But you have to want to get well, just like people have to want to get clean. You can't make somebody want to have a different mindset than what they have. But generally, in the same as addiction, and it's so interesting, it's really coming through that sometimes depression and mental illness and addiction all are in that same wheelhouse where there's so much going on within your soul, and there's so much going on that we're working out in how we feel and the beliefs that we have and how we see the world and our perceptions. And then there's this chemical way that our brains work. And the chemical way that our brains work has its own protectors and defense mechanisms, as we do in our psychology and in our spirit. We in the in recover your soul, we're working on our protectors and our defense mechanisms. But your brain does the same thing. Your brain has ways that it is also trying to protect you. And depression, in a way, is a protection from what feels too much, too heavy to carry. When you make a decision that you want to see and feel yourself from a different perception, and again, no one can make anybody else want to do this. You have to want to do it for yourself. And you're willing to be compassionate and loving to yourself, then you just get on the path, whatever path it is, if you want to use recover your soul, great. It's one of many. It doesn't matter which path you're on, just start walking it. Find the one that relates to you and start walking it. We're talking about step one in recover your soul

Step One Awareness And Choosing Healing

Rev Rachel Harrison 12:24

right now. The moment of awareness, ready for awakening, is step one in recover your soul, where you recognize that you actually innately have capacity to change how you are in your body and how you feel and how you see and how it looks to you, and what your perception is and what you think and feel and believe. It's a powerful moment. No matter how deep the depression is, to believe and to know, even if it's just a slice, a sliver, a window that says, yes, I can and I will begin to walk whatever this path is. I don't know what it's gonna look like. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna pick myself up and I'm gonna do it. It's a profound moment because it also is shifting your brain, because your brain has been using this protector that is like, it's so much we're just gonna go down into the darkness, into this dark energy. I think it's interesting that our brains and our ways that our bodies work in an attempt to save us will harm us and have us do things and say things and think things and potentially make decisions that are actually the complete opposite of what I think in our most root primal brain thinks that it's doing. And this is the example of the depression or addiction. So it's about getting on top of it from your higher self just enough to begin to move forward in another way. If I hadn't taken medications in those years, I don't know how I would have managed it, to be honest. I have this particular memory of when the boys were younger, like late elementary

Stop Rejecting Yourself Love Shadows

Rev Rachel Harrison 14:14

school, maybe, and I had just started, I think it was affects her, which was a pretty heavy one. It was the heaviest one that I ever did. I had been in such heightened anxiety for so long, just in this just intense, couldn't sleep, stressed out, always just, I don't know what I thought was going to completely fall apart, but I was completely convinced that the entire world was gonna fall apart and my entire family was just gonna erupt in some sort of volcano, which I never would even give them the chance to erupt in the volcano. Maybe the volcano would have been better, but I couldn't handle it. And I have this one particular memory of being in a place where I had just started that medication, and for the first time, I could just relax and just I kind of was a zombie in the first couple of weeks, to be honest. But it was such a relief from this heightened on point all the time. And the kids were like, Hey, we want to go to Boulder and go to the skate park. And Rich was like, Yeah, let's go. I'll drive. And I remember almost just being completely out of it and just being like, okay. But it was the first time in a long time that my answer was like, okay. And I was on legal drugs, right? Not all that great. And I got to the skate park, and for a moment, I could see that I didn't have to do anything. I didn't have to fix anything, I didn't have to make sure everyone had a good time. They just wanted a mom to stand at the gate and wave at them and say, Oh, that was really cool. Well done. Good, good job, and take a picture. And I felt a sense of relief for the first time. So that opened up a door to feel a certain way. Sometimes you have to have the capacity to feel a certain way to understand how that's supposed to feel. Because when you've been in the darkness for so long, you forget what it feels like to be above it. But I think the key, and this is what's coming through in the guidance right now, is to not try to push away the other, because it's a rejection of a part of yourself. So instead of it being a rejection of a part of yourself, as you do the steps and recover your soul, what you're really looking at is what are these shadow parts of myself? What am I afraid of? What do I believe? Why do I think that I have to take care of everybody? Or why do I think there's something wrong with me? Why am I in this space where I don't feel good about myself? And when you do the work and you start to look, and oh, the why is because there were these very legitimate real situations and things that I went through in my childhood that helped me create those systems and those beliefs and stories. And then that created the patterns in which I've been living in my life. And if you have just enough of an elevated state to be able to look down on those situations with compassion and say, of course, that's what you thought at that time. But now you know different. And to be able to see the journey that you've been through and the strength in which you have been through it, and the capacity that you have to be in very difficult things, which might include this very minute where it is hard and it feels black and dark and hard. But that spirit comes in and says, Honey, sweetheart, here you are. Here you are in this life. Here you are awake and interested and curious to know, is there something else? And the answer is yes, there absolutely is something else.

Boundaries With Someone Else’s Darkness

Rev Rachel Harrison 18:01

So in Recover Your Soul, we work through the steps of then letting go of control, recognizing we're powerless over everything outside of ourselves. Man, when I let go of my family and decided I didn't have to manage every single thing that they did, the amount of weight that came off my shoulders was the beginning of the lifting of depression. Everything that I had done in the beginning had everybody else attached to it. And when we put our own oxygen mask on, when we are curious about ourselves, when we are willing to begin to make these changes, what's happening in your soul and the power that you have within your soul, I believe will override the chemicals in your head. And they'll begin to work with your brain to restructure how your brain is working. Because for me to think about, you know, how many years I was on all kinds of medications and how much anxiety I had, and how much I drank, and how much I stressed out, and how much I controlled, and how much fear I had, and just how complicated it was to be in my body, and to be now where nothing's in there besides vitamins, maybe some chocolate every once in a while. I have never felt more comfortable in my skin in my whole life than I do now. And it's

Tools Community And Next Steps

Rev Rachel Harrison 19:31

not necessarily there's a whole bunch that isn't still there that was there before. No, the kids don't live in the house anymore, and no, there's not yelling and screaming and fighting every single day. Part of why it's not like that, because I did this work on myself and I was willing to love myself through all of it, and to accept that there are parts of me that can go very dark. And instead of rejecting those parts, to be curious about them and to love them, to love those parts enough to let them know that they can stop trying to be what is protecting you and move into the spiritual journey, which is part of working the steps of connecting to a higher power of your understanding, finding your safety within yourself, regardless of what's happening on the outside, and finding the love for yourself, the love for yourself that is the healing solve of the wounds and the patterns and the beliefs and the stories that are not true, about not being enough, about being responsible for everyone, about what your roles are, who you're supposed to be. And I believe strongly that just like in addiction, if you really want it, if you want to be well, wellness will find you because it is your natural state. If you name yourself, if you claim yourself on a regular basis as being an addict, as being depressed, as being sick, as being taken advantage of, as not having enough, whatever you name, you claim. And so part of this journey is for us to stop claiming ourselves as sick, which doesn't mean you're not going through it. You're entitled to go through it, but you're going through it as a soul on purpose, and you can switch, you can flip how you are in it. I couldn't do that when I was in the midst of it. And sometimes you're just so far in the trenches, but you just need to have enough hope to keep your head above water just enough to know that there is light on the other side, that this too shall pass. You know, I love that saying. From AA and Alan on, this too shall pass. This moment, this very difficult moment, this too shall pass. And this is a tenet of Buddhism that everything's impermanent. So when we let go of the attachment and we just allow ourselves to be present in our feelings, and our feelings are telling us something. So what feels like depression is that part of our brain that's in the darkness, but there's important lessons to be learned from the potential sadness, the, oh my gosh, the rejection, the anguish, the grief. Those feelings that are underneath, turning around, need to be processed and loved and shared in the stories that they're trying to give you information from. And that's what therapy is for. That's what spiritual coaching is for. That's what working the process is for. It's about giving yourself permission to feel the feelings, to tell the stories, to work through from an empowered state, not from a victim woe's me state, but from a curious, open, determined to learn more about yourself, to be able to stand in your strength and to have your soul have this experience and understand, not understand from, you know, these are the check marks that we're checking, but from a knowing from your heart, an understanding that doesn't need words. And the healing comes in the order and in the time in which is right for you. If you are somebody who's dealing with depression or what we call mental illness, I wish there was other words for it, complicated ways that our brains and our psyches work. Or if you love somebody who's in those states, the number one thing is that we all have the ability to make choice. And if you're that person, you have the ability to make a choice and a decision that you're worth it, and you're gonna start on the journey. And if you are in a relationship with somebody who is in a situation where they're dealing with their own darkness, you their darkness is not yours. It's not yours. But you can have compassion for them and you have in clarity around the boundaries that you may need to understand about how involved you're gonna be based on how desiring they are to do for themselves. That's a whole other episode. This was really about depression for yourself. I love you so much, and I want you to love you so much. And if you're in a dark moment, love yourself through it, and remember that everything that you're experiencing is okay, and you're entitled to heaviness, and let the emotions that are being revealed give you the information that might be patterns, beliefs, and stories that need to be worked through and released and opened up into new ways of being so that you're not carrying the heaviness and especially through a rejection of self. Every part of you is okay. Every part of you is okay. So I hope that this touched on that question. And you know, if I go through another place where I feel like I can't get my head above the water, I'd go on medication again. I'm not opposed to that. I think it's important that we don't think that there's only one way in anything. I think it's important that we utilize all the tools spirituality, modern medicine, eastern medicine, light work, vibration work. Heal yourself in all the ways and believe fully and completely that you are deserving of healing and wholeness and wellness. That's the number one part. Step one and recover your soul. Until next time, namaste. If something that you just heard resonated with you, I want you to know there's a whole community waiting for you. The recover your soul process is a spiritual path to a happy and healthy life, and there's many ways to walk it together. Start with the free mini workbook at recoveryoursoul.net. It's a beautiful first step. You can join us for the free monthly support group on the first Monday of every month. And if you're ready to go deeper and work the nine steps, you can join the self-study collective or a soul circle or come to one of our in-person retreats or workshops. And if you want to work with me personally one-on-one, coaching is available. You can also find bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon, Apple Podcasts, and I'm on YouTube with new videos that are posted weekly. And grab your copy of the new Recover Your Soul Spiritual Memoir. It is a spiritual journey of healing from addiction, codependency, and people pleasing available on Amazon, and it's our journey of healing through this process. You can follow me on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and all of it is recover your soul. Just remember you're not alone in this. Together, we can do the work that will recover your soul.