Last episode we worked the mind, today we connect with the heart.
How shifting your focus to all of the magic and meaning of the holiday's will keep your inspiration high, your stress level low and the need for alcohol less.
This year create a "new tradition" rather than the old story of "I have too many things to do, the end of the year is so overwhelming for me. There’s so much pressure."
-Put an end to holiday people pleasing and obligation.
-Successfully manage stress and overwhelm.
-How to overcome "family drama" without checking out.
-How to be guided by intention.
The process of awakening is remembering that you left yourself a trail of breadcrumbs back to the truth of who you are and the meaning of life you wish to embrace.
Today's episode is crucial in your success making this holiday season one of true joy and meaning.
This the part they don't teach us in school...Because the answers are truly always within.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Last episode we worked the mind, today we connect with the heart.
How shifting your focus to all of the magic and meaning of the holiday's will keep your inspiration high, your stress level low and the need for alcohol less.
This year create a "new tradition" rather than the old story of "I have too many things to do, the end of the year is so overwhelming for me. There’s so much pressure."
-Put an end to holiday people pleasing and obligation.
-Successfully manage stress and overwhelm.
-How to overcome "family drama" without checking out.
-How to be guided by intention.
The process of awakening is remembering that you left yourself a trail of breadcrumbs back to the truth of who you are and the meaning of life you wish to embrace.
Today's episode is crucial in your success making this holiday season one of true joy and meaning.
This the part they don't teach us in school...Because the answers are truly always within.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing alcohol, that you are longing for a deeper connection to life? If alcohol is keeping you playing small and feels like the one area, you just can't figure out you are in the right place. Hi, my name is Mary Wagstaff. I'm a Holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help powerful women just like you eliminate their desire to drink on their own terms. In this podcast, we will explore the revolutionary approach of my proven five shifts process that gets alcohol out of your way by breaking all of the rules and the profound experience that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. I am so thrilled to be your guide. Welcome to your journey of awakening. Hello, welcome back to the show my beautiful listeners. It's Mary Wagstaff, I hope you're having an amazing day. Welcome to everyone. That's new. Yeah, I'm so glad that you're here you're in for a treat. Get your notebook, if you have the opportunity to sit and listen to this in a even in your car, like locked the doors, grab a notebook. Because you know, one of the reasons that you don't have the results you want in life in general, is that you haven't developed the skill or the habit of committing to doing something new, like you can listen to this content all you want. But unless you take in actually implement it into your life. And this is something that I teach my clients all the time, it's like, yes, it's conceptually great enough to know something but like, do the work, like sit and write it down. And it takes like, it takes only a few minutes. So this is really what makes a lasting change is you being able to see your brain I can't emphasize this enough. My results in my life expedite when I write it down when I know what are the thoughts that I'm thinking, what are the stories that I keep telling myself around why things aren't working, or my problems are where you know, and then I get to see where I'm not showing up, right? So it's so important for this. So I hope that you did your homework for last week, but I'm gonna go over that today. But I also want you to be in a place where you can soften your eyes for a moment. And just check in with your with your body, because that's going to be part of our workshop practice today about why celebrating the holidays, alcohol free is actually the best and the easiest time to do so. But first, I wanted to start with a client win and a client of a client breakthrough for the for the week, because this one was I just loved this thought. So the thought is, as I am free to create a new story, my clients are so brilliant that I just use their thoughts all the time to create thoughts, right. So this is what we do together, it's like to two brains come together to really, really explore their genius to like you got to we got to work our minds, we got to massage our minds, because our minds if we let them become dormant in our minds, the human brain, like look around you at everything that's created, look around at everything you've created already, right? So we intentionally do it. And it can be really fun. I mean manifestation and is really fun. And that's what we're doing. But you have to know what thoughts are in there. And you have to work to create a vibration that is going to be in alignment with the result that you want. Or you're just going to be taking action and like for no reason and spinning and spinning in circles and spinning and drama. I am free to create a new story. And the feeling created from that is safety. Because I have a backup. And the backup is myself. What Yes, I am free to create a new story because I have a backup and the backup is myself. This is what is so powerful. And this is what we're talking today about or in these three episodes is how to stop focusing on the problem that is not serving you and become the solution. Right? You Your brain is only focusing on why it won't work instead of why it already is working. Okay and that's the main part of the episode today. So first I wanted to start out I had given you the assignment and I would definitely recommend going back to listening to this and share this because like this isn't just about first of all a I really believe that most people that drink want to change their relationship to alcohol in some way and be like we have gone through. There's just so much in the field and I really believe that that creating more connection, intimate and connection real vulnerability, real connection and real in Missy is the is the, the evolution of the human right? Like, we're everyone's arguing about everything all the time. If you want to find a polar view, you can find it people cancelling each other people saying you're wrong and all the things and what we really need, like in this epidemic of loneliness and independence, as we need to be connecting, right? And so if you're going to bring into your holidays, gossip and drama and, and dissociation, like, do you want to? Do you want to create that noose? Do you want to write a new story for yourself? Like, what is that? Do? You know, it's like the vibration of drama and gossip is such a low vibrating field to be in right now. This isn't to like, shame yourself. But this is just to say, like, what standard? Do I want to set myself to? What do I want? My what? Where do I What? Like, what is the intention for even being here. And if there isn't one, then like, don't show up, right. And we're going to explore that today, like overcoming these objections and the stories that you've been telling in your head yourself in your head about why you don't have a choice, because that's just not true, as long as you are a sovereign being. And most people that listen to this show, are very privileged to live in a place where they have complete freedom of their choices. So you have to be honest, and clear and neutral and objective with yourself about the ability for you to choose, I have said no to a lot of family gatherings in the past, without guilt without regret, and without shame. And it turned out just fine. And everyone was better for it in the long run, right? And then there's times where we go out of our way. And we check ourselves. And we say like, this is why, and we tap into our heart. So how do you want to change your story? Right? How are you free to create a new story for yourself this holiday season? So the thing that I left you with last time was, what are 10 thoughts that you have for why you can drink and then 10 thoughts that are just a neutral observation about the holidays. And I didn't want to give you examples, because I'm hoping some of you went and did that. But I didn't want to give you examples then because I wanted you to do it on your own. But I'm going to give you some today, just so you can if you're unclear about that. So here are 10 thoughts that I probably had objections for and I hear people talk about, it won't be fun 10 objections for why you why you need to drink during the holidays, or why not drinking isn't an option. It won't be fun, I can't handle my family, I'll be missing out, it won't be the same. I love eggnog and mulled wine. It makes it special. The alcohol makes it special. It sets the mood. It is how I have fun and relax, I won't enjoy myself. It's a celebration in the holidays are so stressful. So those are 10 thoughts that I came up with that you probably have some version of in your head. Right? Now, those feel very true to you. Because you've repeated you believe them, you've repeated them over and over and over again. But they are just subjective interpretations of reality. Now you could go and decide that the opposite of all of those are just as true. But what happens when we do that? So instead of like it won't be fun, is it will be fun, I can handle my family, which you know, it is like I mean, you could go find evidence for why all of those are true. So that's something else you could do is what is the opposite of all those and find evidence for why all of those are true. But my suggestion was, is just before you have to go overcome those really strong beliefs that you already have is just find 10 neutral thoughts that you do believe about alcohol neutral to positive. So here were the ones that I came up with. I came up with a bunch. I get to be off from work. I love the decorations, all of the smells of the season are enjoyable. I love the foods I only eat this time of year. I love Christmas music. We play games in our PJs all day, the joy of watching Emmett like waiting for Santa and he loves like the Google Santa Tracker and we make cookies and put those out. Matthew cooks and I can just sit around and play my ukulele. We always make some fun new craft. So it's a time for us to be creative. We make funny cards or fun gifts. We always listen to the turkey trot and just do react like fools and does dance. It's a reminder of connecting to the light in the darkness. So I celebrate the season of you'll which is this the wind Her Solstice, but it's, it's part of my personal spiritual celebration. So we have a Yule log that we saved from our Christmas tree from the previous year and we light the Yule log for the solstice, which is December 21. And this year, I'm actually DJing for the first time in public on the solstice. So more about that to come if you're in the local Portland or Washington area. More cookies, mulled wine and pomegranate juice, I love or excuse me that worldwide but mold pomegranate juice is something that I make. And like religious reasons, right? If you are devoted, devoted to a specific religion, there's so many celebrations during this time of the year, I get to see my family, when everyone's not going to be in like a state of fear. And we're not wearing masks and haven't seen my family for three years. And we get to have food and drinks and everyone is healthy. And we can afford presents and we can afford to travel and we can afford to be together. And like, those are all like I get to have all of those things. The only thing that's not present is like what's the beverage in my glass. But like all of those things, when I'm thinking about them, they make me so excited, they make me so happy. And this is where you have to take your mind, my friend, you have got to take your mind, focusing on what you do have and not what you do. Okay, so we're gonna tune into a little embodiment practice. And this will be brief, I always say that, but I'm going to make it brief. So I would like you to find a comfortable seat to soften your eyes. And take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Just arrived in this space, it is so important for us to check in with our intentions, not with just the the mission, the goal, right? Like we have to check in with this, this spirit part about our human experience, right being a spiritual being in a human body. And it's the both and we are both of these things. And when we really let Spirit lead, we expedite our results so much more quickly. So first, I want you to ask yourself why you're here. Like why you're here listening to this podcast. really breathe into that. And then I want you to go a layer deeper. So say if it's your I'm here because I want a new relationship to alcohol, why? Why does that matter? And say it's something like because I want to be in control of my health or I want to feel better. Why does that matter? Go another layer deeper for the why. And maybe it would be something like my health and vitality are my life and without that I have nothing. Life will be challenging life, I will have less access to living. Okay. And so that's where I want you to stay three wise deep and I want you to stay there with your intention. And I want you to feel into that how can you take that intention and allow that to guide you this holiday season as an act of devotion? Devotion, meaning loyalty. Unconditional Love. Attention, commitment. If you lead with that intention of that three wise deep Don't miss this part. What are you devoted to from that place? devoted to your health, to vitality, to experience to your family to being an example. What are you devoted to? And now think about not drinking or even think about drinking. How does it shift from this place? From this place of intentional devotion for why you're here right now listening to this episode. Three layers deep When you think about the option of not drinking, what shifts for you from this place, and write that down. And if there's any emotions that come up, and want you to allow them to be there, because that means something that is your heart talking to that is your heart guiding you that is your Higher Self trying to access you saying enough. This is enough. This is no longer necessary. We have so much to be grateful for and so much to look forward to, and so much life left to live in so the reason that we shift in this frequency, right, it's like your vibration is raising, there has been a calling. And alcohol isn't even as isn't even that much fun anymore, but you don't know where to go. And this is where you start. Where are you devoted, and you let devotion in your deep, deep intention, three why's deep, of why it matters and why you're here, guide the way and you let every single thing you do over these next couple of months come from that place and your life will change. When I dedicated myself to the path of the priestess, I devoted myself and it's not always perfect to self responsibility and sovereignty and honoring that and taking advantage of that. And owning that to the collective to be in a positive integral part of the whole and not a troll and to God goddess to spirit to the unseen, to the universal field of infinite consciousness that we are all part of. To devoted to the miracle that I've been granted to be able to experience this body even this one time, what a gift. So I want you to imprint this feeling and take it with you so now when we talk about people pleasing an obligation, and managing stress and overwhelm and family drama and wanting to check out right, you've been focused on the money, the drama, all the cooking, the gossip, the in laws, the money, like the spending, the having to figure out like where the traveling right, then focusing on all of the things that are taking away from that why from that devotion, robbing you have joy. And now like this is not you This is how we all work. We our brain goes to the negative bias because of our own evolutionary traits and, and our need for survival. But you've got to recognize this because what you focus on you will create more of and this is the power of your mind. So you think the problem is that I have too many things to do the end of the year is so overwhelming for me. And there's so much pressure, right? When you can tap into this intention to this, this place of devotion of why alcohols no longer working from you, you can change your mindset and own your self authority to let it be easy and fun. What a gift that you get to drive around in your car as an independent woman and go buy shit to give to people and cook with love and feed people and be in a warm home. So just noticing how your obligations and your stressors are actually your gifts because what would happen if they were all gone? I think about this I've said this on the show if all the fingerprints were gone off of it all the doors, it would mean I would be utterly alone if I had pee to mine, every night, and the last three hours before I went to bed, I got to read and meditate, I would be alone. And I wouldn't have the joy of all of the amazing, amazing things that come into my life because of the people that are here, distracting me. You've got to shift your focus to your devotion and your intention from your heart. Okay. And you have to let it be fun and easy and enjoy the chaos, laugh at yourself. So when you're driving along, and you see yourself getting road rage, or frustrated about what your sister in law said, or whoever, just laugh, and show up as your best bright beaming self, with the intention that showed up in your heart when you checked in. So you decide from a place of devotion rather than obligation, you tap into your intention, and you focus your attention with that intention. So you have to write this down one sentence, whatever that third y was, I want you to write that down. And I want you to use it every single day and check into that feeling and see how it shifts when you're making decisions and thinking thoughts. This is the sacred y this is what I teach when we do a life intention. When we explore your belief goal when we plan ahead of time using the eta and what are the results, you being in control of your happiness and your life. And stop giving away to the family drama, you can just decide to write a new story right now. Right? This is how you do all of it. This one tool that I'm giving you can help you manage your stress and your overwhelm, can help you overcome family drama without needing to check out and can help you and the holidays of people pleasing an obligation because when you check in with this, you can see can If I can't, if I still can't take my intention of devotion for why I'm here, right? Why I'm listening to the show right now and go three wise deep if I can't use that, to shift my mindset for something you really, really, really don't want to do. Then you got to go deeper and understand the thoughts that you're putting in other people's heads? Right, and John Martin, John talked about this on the episode about human decency, right. He's like, if you're doing something out of obligation, that's not decency. That's called lying. Right? That's not, that's people pleasing. If we can lead with devotion, do it from devotion, if we can lead with our heartfelt intention. And if we really don't want to do something, but we love someone so much, then we Buck it up, and we go and do it, right. But if you really don't want to do something, give yourself permission to say no, and know that everyone wins when you give yourself permission, because all you're doing is bringing along your negative energy to a place that you don't want to be. So this is a powerful, powerful tool, I do not want you to over ride, I want you to practice this, listen to this episode as many times as you need to, to really, really, really tap into this essence of your devotion of leading with your devotion. And if you want help making a decision about whether or not you're going to drink this holiday season. I have plenty of availability on my schedule for next week. So you can sign up and come and let me help you make this decision one on one. If you have any questions for me, you rock, you're so brave, and you're so strong for being here. And you are here because your frequency is matching and shifting to connecting to the frequency of devotion. It is awakening to the infinite field where all possibilities exist. Alcohol has been a dominant factor in your life. So there's some biological things that we have to get out of the way. But just know that nothing has gone wrong and follow the thread of what your wisdom and your intuition are telling you have an amazing day. Hi, it's Mary Wagstaff. I want to personally invite you to spend one hour with me one on one because you deserve to know what's holding you back is your time. Alcohol has had its fair share. We're going to talk about possibilities about how to align your thoughts and actions with your dreams and what matters most to you about why alcohol is no longer suited for the life you want to live. How you can get on the fast track to freedom from alcohol and stay there without deprivation. Follow the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com To schedule your complimentary call and get a new perspective on an old habit.