Stop Drinking and Start Living

Ep. #200 Attention

November 30, 2022 Mary Wagstaff Season 1 Episode 200
Stop Drinking and Start Living
Ep. #200 Attention
Show Notes Transcript

Dr. Joe Dispenza says to create an emergent (new) consciousness, you have to keep your mind, body and heart on what you want to create long enough for it to become a new reality. 
One of the main reasons you are starting and stopping again with alcohol is because your attention isn't focused on ONE solution. 
My clients are getting results so quickly because week after week we focus on disproving the thoughts creating the desire to drink, amplify their meaningful why, and generate evidence that supports a new future with new emotional imprints. 

My invitation to you is to charge the last month of the year with focusing your attention on your relationship to alcohol based on what was presented to you over the last three episodes. 

End alcohol exhaustion now so you can start enjoying your life again.
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Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing alcohol, that you are longing for a deeper connection to life? If alcohol is keeping you playing small and feels like the one area, you just can't figure out you are in the right place. Hi, my name is Mary Wagstaff. I'm a Holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help powerful women just like you eliminate their desire to drink on their own terms. In this podcast, we will explore the revolutionary approach of my proven five shifts process that gets alcohol out of your way by breaking all of the rules, and the profound experience that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. I am so thrilled to be your guide. Welcome to your journey of awakening. Welcome back to the show my beautiful listeners, it's Mary, I am really excited to be here. I just spent the last week after I recorded the last podcast, rolling around in a bed in a hotel room for Thanksgiving after I traveled to see my family in New York. But all as well. And one of the things that I wanted to say about that, and I had to express to some of my clients this week, was that the tools and principles that we apply here of emotional processing really are always coming in handy everywhere I am. Because even in the depths of like feeling really awful. I was able to really observe some of the sensations in my body for more of a neutral place. And now that I'm you know, out of like the feverish state, I just am back with, you know, a congestion and cough. But I'm home, I'm so excited to be home. It's snowing. And it's very grounding for me to do this work. So thank you for being here and for listening. And today's episode is going to be brief. But I want if you're new to the show today, for whatever reason, welcome. I hope if you did celebrate any sort of family time, celebration last week, that you were that you had a wonderful time and you're safe and healthy. But this, you know, really the three, the three episodes that I did leading up to today, I want you to go back and listen to them again and again. And today we're going to talk about attention. I just got off of a call today with a client who said to me, I don't think I could have done this without this program. And she's like, I don't even really know what else there is or what else I would have done. She's only five weeks into this work. And she's just crushing it, she had a really successful first Thanksgiving. alcohol free. And you know, what, if you've been listening for a while, what you know is that it's moving beyond deprivation, like there, there was no deprivation, it was more of, you know, the nervousness of this is new. And we talked about that. And it's like, how exciting that literally everything you do when you were drinking or when you aren't drinking is a brand new experience. Because when you are in alcohol overwhelm or alcohol exhaustion, you have this love hate relationship with alcohol because all you want to do is quit and you're thinking about quitting all the time and not drinking all the time, at the same time having this desire. And really that attachment of you know, I see people struggle with this a lot like really giving themselves permission to let it go as a self concept as a self identity. And what happens here and this is just leading into attention is that this is a concentrated effort of focusing your brain to create change. So that what we talked about so over those last three episodes, all of your thinking all of your beliefs, then the focus of what is really important to you right to be built on your principles on your values on emotion. We cannot create change, unless we're really moved emotionally, consistently, and focusing our energy on one thing. There is so much out there even during this healing journey. I had been like kind of watching YouTube more and some of those like old shows that I used to watch. Just like whatever I didn't even know but they are. But just because I kind of had some downtime and focusing on reading wasn't really a thing. It's really hard for me to be sick. You guys like so hard. I've just like, tried to do some yoga yesterday, it did not really go that well, like I was pushing myself a little too hard anyway, I'm just ready to be back at it. But what I realized was I was really spreading my attention from just focusing on healing, I not being so worried about creating content, getting an email out, which is challenging for me, because I love this work. And I love thinking about you and helping you. But so I spent the morning, Joe Dispenza does the the work of heart coherence, which I've shared some of that with you. But it's also this idea of future focusing on how are you going to feel when you have the result that you want. But if your attention and I share this in the five shifts, free training, is, you know, quitting today, starting tomorrow, oh, I need to do this. But I got to do that. And what am i What is everyone going to think? And you're on Instagram, and you know, you're dealing with the kids, and you're planning for the holidays. Now you can do all of those things. But your intention underneath it, the focus of this work that we do through mindset, and mindfulness comes through the same lens. So you're observing yourself through the lens of changing this relationship to yourself, how am I relating to the world, because when it's through the lens of alcohol, you're really not relating to anything, you're relating through the lens of alcohol. And it's just like, very dramatic. And the other, you know, interesting point that this person pointed out today was how like, although everything has changed, nothing has really changed and how alcohol kind of makes a bigger deal. And I've talked about this before invalidation, and, you know, not giving you the props of being a powerful person like that the things that, you know, she's handling now, really, were just so amplified, thinking that How am I ever going to handle this without alcohol. And it turns out, like, none of it's actually that big of a deal. And even dealing with some more some bigger emotions. So the way you use your attention is how you use your energy. And that comes with healing. So it doesn't matter if we're healing, emotionally, mentally, physically. And that's why I do the work of holistic coaching. Because we look at the whole person, I got a lot of knowledge, I've got 23 years of being a holistic practitioner. So I have been studying this work and mindfulness and mindset diligently. Not to mention, the the, the most important part of it all, is through firsthand experience of my own personal journey, and seeing what happens on repeat again, and again. And again, like, I can call it out, I see where people are self good self sabotage. And they're gonna, you know, try to move through resistance. And think that, you know, it's something else and they need to, you know, they need to try something new, which is what you've been doing. But it's really like coming back to the idea of validation. And knowing that this is challenging, and it's okay, and how are we having, how are we communicating with ourselves? So that first step of understanding your thinking, which was part one, the second step of understanding your why, really being able to connect with the principles, right? Joe Dispenza talks about an emergent consciousness, to shift our thinking from what is 80% of we're reliving the past, based on the vibration of emotion 80% of the day, again, and again and again. And we think we're creating a new future for ourselves, but to create an emergent consciousness or emerging, new, never happened before. We have to feel into a new emotion from a same circumstance. And that's the shift of perspective. That's why A Course in Miracles they say, a miracle is just a shift of perspective. But you, but he says to that you have to be able to keep your mind on it long enough. And so when Joe Dispenza does His work of healing chronic illness, right, helping people create a have results in their life that they never have. He talks about the heart coherence of really being able to focus long enough on the energy, which is the emotion of what you want to create. And in sometimes with alcohol, what I find is, it almost seems fantastical, like a bright, fun future without alcohol, you can't quite fathom it, because you haven't seen it mirrored to you. You it's hard for you to even reach into a place in your past where maybe that was possible. So the people who are really willing to ask themselves, what don't I know? And they can get so curious about whatever it is being better than what they're going through. It just starts there. And then knowing their why, and attaching to that one bit of that, that, that emotion, led motivation that has you listening to this show. And then they take that circumstance by circumstance and create a ritual out of their life. And the reason that the process is so wildly successful, for those that are really willing to ask themselves the question, What don't I know, and focus their attention, and their curiosity, with their intention, and being willing to show up again, is because they have held their minds on it long enough. But we're not talking about, you know, years here, we're talking about a few weeks, changes that people have tried to make for the last 20 3040 years. And not only that confidence uncovering, you know, the thoughts that we put in other people's heads that create so much self consciousness and being able to observe how none of that is real. And we talk about it, and we explore emotions. And, and, and we use the sacred pause method, so that we don't buffer and just override the emotion with something else. But until you focus your mind on one thing long enough, you are going to keep starting over again and again and again. And that is the truth. But if you can show up with a question, what don't I know. And you can take those three steps, those three principles that I laid out of uncovering your thinking, finding thoughts that you already have that are true, that create a neutral to positive emotion, understanding your why that you're here listening to this show right now, why this matters, on a deeper level. And then applying that, by focusing your attention on every single area of your life, through the lens of intention, you are going to blow your own mind. But motivation at the beginning when we're trying to create an emergent consciousness is very easily wanes. And so the accountability of coaching, right, week after week, and then all of the tools that you get to use on your own and become your own best advocate is how we get shit done so quickly. I'm just so blown away by the results that my current clients have, by all the results all of my clients have, leaving here with the awareness that our thoughts are not facts. And that really until you explore and examine your mind, you are really repeating the past based on the emotions of your judgments and your interpretations. Again, and again and again. So we have to look at alcohol, the chemical of alcohol, and all of that. But then you've got to see what are all the other BS thoughts you have that are getting in the way of you enjoying yourself and enjoying the life that you've already created. So in addition to these last three things that I gave you to focus on, I would really really encourage you to delete the Instagram and Facebook apps from your phone. And take all of your spare time to really start to get curious about your relationship to alcohol and see what shifts. It is such a game changer Our attention is actually always also energetically taking us away from healing our bodies. So when we're focusing our eyes, when we when you watch something while you're eating, I learned this so long ago, you're actually taking away from your body's ability to digest properly, because you're using that energy. So if you like watch TV and eat, your digestion is going to suffer for it. If we're doing anything right at the same time, so try to take this next month of really slowing down and asking yourself, what don't I know? Because until you ask yourself that question, and you're only going to base your life on the certainty of what your brain is offering you based on the past that are conditioned beliefs, probably by someone else trying to sell you something. You're going to keep repeating the same problems, the same upset the same stress, again, and again. And again. I'm here if you need anything, I hope you are doing fan tastic. Hopefully, they'll come to you next week with a little bit of a clear voice. Thanks for hanging in there with me. If you have any feedback. I would love if you could share this show. And of course, as always, as a gift to me to you and our community. Please go on to Apple podcasts. Subscribe. Wherever you're listening to this show. Give us a five star review and comment and it would mean the world to me Have an amazing week. Hi, it's Mary Wagstaff. I want to personally invite you to spend one hour with me one on one. Because you deserve to know what's holding you back is your time, alcohol has had its fair share. We're going to talk about possibilities about how to align your thoughts and actions with your dreams and what matters most to you about why alcohol is no longer suited for the life you want to live. How you can get on the fast track to freedom from alcohol and stay there without deprivation. Follow the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff To schedule your complimentary call and get a new perspective on an old habit.