How To Stay Connected To Your Soul Mission with Guest Host Nura Rachelle Part 3 of 3: Embracing Autonomy

Join us on the final installment of our soul mission series, revealing the beauty of nurturing autonomy in your life.  Highlighting the push and pull between societal expectations and our inner callings. For women especially, the struggle to claim personal space amid caregiving roles is profound; we tackle the associated guilt and the essential nature of carving out room for one's true self. 

It's an exploration that promises to empower you with the insight to fill your cup first, so you’re better equipped to pour into others.

We also explore the cosmic energies at play, with astrology as our guide in healing and self-reclamation. Nura and I reflect on the personal and collective healing that blossoms from self-reliance, stepping into our power, and facing our shadows with the courage of an inner warrior. 

This episode is a call to action, a summoning of the bravery to trust in ourselves and our unique paths.

We extend a heartfelt invitation to join us in contemplation and action, encouraging a life lived with intention, authenticity, and joy! 

Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.

Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package. 

Awakened sobriety! Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help, labels or missing out! Expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.

Join The Awakened Sobriety Self Study Course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:33

Do you ever feel like you're out growing alcohol, that you are longing for a deeper connection to life? If alcohol is keeping you playing small and feels like the one area you just can't figure out, you are in the right place. Hi, my name is Mary Wagstaff. I'm a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20-year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help powerful women just like you eliminate their desire to drink on their own terms. In this podcast, we will explore the revolutionary approach of my proven five-shifts process that gets alcohol out of your way by breaking all of the rules, and the profound experience that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. I am so thrilled to be your guide. Welcome to your journey of awakening. Welcome back to the show, my beautiful listeners. It's Mary.

Speaker 2: 2:30

Hello, it's Nura.

Speaker 1: 2:33

We are here for the conclusion of our three-part series on how to connect into your soul mission. It's been so fun to have Nura here as a co-host and just really weaving this conversation into our daily like my own daily life too and really I've been really thinking a lot about what does it mean to stay connected to my soul mission and just to be in spiritual alignment and making that a priority and everything we've talked about of like how do we know when we're out of alignment? So thank you all for being here.

Speaker 2: 3:14

Yes, absolutely. It's been really revealing for me as well, in that sense of okay, just how important it is to have those circles of accountability around you. So I feel like it'll tie in really well to where we want to go today, which is all about impact, and I really loved what you synthesized it as it being centered around autonomy, which really is also an important theme astrologically this year. But that's what we are planning to go into today.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Yeah, absolutely it is been. I think, when so many of you, our listeners here, come to seek knowledge, seek more of knowing, know thyself right, it is about seeking who am I as an autonomous being, because, like we spoke about in the first couple of episodes, we are born into this world, we learn from other people and then we kind of have this journey of learning all of these things and then we come to this moment of kind of a threshold where, in some way, there feels like maybe there is a misalignment with our sole mission, because that is that thing that is innate within us, that is like the unique blueprint, and so we have to take this step back. And there comes these times where there are these pivotal thresholds that we cross and it really is the opportunity of diving into the autonomous self. It's like we can't find what we're missing through, necessarily, a label, right Through an external source. We have to have the opportunity of going within and seeing like who am I, just as an innate, sovereign being, and so we wanted to talk a little bit about the impact of that, because so so so much of the time, I think, especially with women, because we hold so many roles, as most of the time, a lot of caretaking roles, that there is a lot of guilt and a lot of shame that shows up around. What does it look like to create that space for myself, and am I taking away or am I expecting too much or am I putting too much on the other in order for me to receive what I'm really being called to receive? And so that piece of making that space and what the impact of that is, I think is a huge point for our listeners, for you to really just think about the times in your life when you have made space for that, outside of all of the roles that you hold in your life, and then noticing what the impact of that is on your life. And it's kind of like the classic, like you can't give from an empty cup type of situation.

Speaker 2: 6:12

So yeah, and I think if we tune in with ourselves and we're able and willing to listen to those different parts of ourselves that are not always granted an equal seat at the table, we learn so much around what parts of ourselves we allow to lead our lives and what parts are not so present, not so forward. So if we tune into the Aries energy of this year, we've got North Nodin Aries and that is all about connecting with the self. But there's this really interesting hang up around all of it, because we have Chiron also in Aries and actually during our retreat we're going to be having during the New Moon Solar Eclipse in April, it's going to be a New Moon Solar Eclipse in Aries conjunct Chiron. And Chiron is the dwarf planet of wounded, healer energy and it's also a point of sensitivity. But what he does is he illuminates this bridge between the unconscious and the conscious. So we're really becoming more conscious around the parts of ourselves that need healing and namely those Aries parts of us. And so, just to give some keywords around what that might mean, it is the self, it's the I am frequency, it's self trust, it's knowing and trusting that you came here with this divine desire. Your desires are divinely seated and needed, and it's not bad or wrong or selfish to put ourself first, but that is actually something in the collective that is really going through a healing process right now, and so you listening probably, I'm sure, can relate in some way to that where it's like, oh, this type of decision that I want to make, I'm not feeling like I can fully trust that, or this new brave action or adventure that I want to go on. What is the what's holding me back? What is probably part of that resistance is the lack of self trust, and that's a human part of the human story, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, it's nothing to feel bad Like you did anything wrong. It's actually just so much part of our current conditioning. And so this is where you might have heard this you know what you heal and clear for yourself, you heal and clear for the world. So I think this is another huge part of impact, because we're getting this beautiful opportunity to know ourselves in a new way, to heal and claim something about ourselves in a new way, to come from a space of trust, and it's that self trust that is so needed to shift the frequency, to change the energy, whether that's just for you and your family, or in your career space, your community, and so there's so much here around understanding those pain points and especially the parts of you that have maybe been relegated to the shadow bag. It's, you know, carl Jung talks a lot about the golden shadow. It's like, yeah, there's some stuff that has gone into the shadow, maybe because it was not appropriate, right, like you know, acting out of rage or anger. But it's like, well, if you inquire, what was underneath that anger, well, it was probably something that you wanted to create that got thwarted, or there was a block and it never got to be dealt with. And underneath that, even deeper, is this beautiful golden shadow which is actually the source of your creative genius, which is the source of your gift, the source of what you came here to give to the world. So it's almost like we have to be able to face those more sort of sticky, kind of messy emotions Like areas is not an energy that's very well thought out. It's not about looking good, it's about going for it, it's about being direct, it's about being a warrior for yourself and understanding that sometimes the path of the warrior is a little bit messy, it's a little bit chaotic and we kind of have to be afraid and do it anyway. So, all of that you know. Imagine when you take that in for yourself and then you're able to show up with that conscious I am frequency of reclaiming self. Imagine what that does for the people around you. It's like you're giving them permission to do the same. It's like there's so much in the field right now that is actually seeking to pull us into deeper codependency. That's going to be the opposite pole. So you could probably take this, even if you know nothing about astrology is just ask yourself where are your decisions stemming from a sense of needing to people, please or like overly harmonized with other, or being acting out of any codependency, and versus where are you being shown that maybe there's a better way, there's another option that comes through trusting yourself, leading, taking initiative, saying what you want and going for it, and so all of that is being healed and it's really beautiful. I feel like that's going to be a really central theme that comes up for us.

Speaker 1: 11:04

Yeah, oh my gosh. The self-trust piece, I think is just so important because when we do have and Nura and I were just talking before we started recording about this concept of the reason that you think you can't is the reason that you need to, and so so much of the time we kind of think that the solution is outside of ourselves, is reaching for something outside, is getting validation or like the permission of the other. But really it's about and this has come up so much in the work that I have been doing just this week really is about the need to listen more to the self instead of, like, take more action. We want to figure this out and I'm sure this is we talked about this in the last couple of calls but when we take the time to actually listen is we can't trust ourselves if we don't know what we're saying, if we don't understand what we're saying, right, and then the impact on that is just like think about when you feel confident in something right and then maybe someone comes at you with a comment but you're like well, I don't believe that it doesn't bump up against you, it doesn't rub you the wrong way, right, you don't need the there's not conflict, right, or other people's emotions don't aren't as triggering to you, because you're just feeling really solid and cared for and grounded and balanced yourself. So in our relational lives, the more we can know and trust ourselves and really, and sometimes all that takes because I know for me, when I am needing someone else to understand or I'm defending myself or the need to over explain why, right, I need to make a change or why I need to do something different Oftentimes I don't understand it myself, and that's not from a place of, like, I don't know who I am. It's just simply the opportunity to slow down and ask the questions Like what do I really need right now? What need do I have that's not being met, and then from that place, I don't have any expectation of the other, like, I'm fully taking that personal responsibility for myself. And then it is healing the world, because each individual healed themselves, and being able to take that kind of neutral perspective of looking at the shadow of like, oh wow, there's this habit here and here on the show. We talk about the relationship with alcohol, but everyone can relate to having some way in which we turn away from discomfort, right, we turn away from needing to look at our own needs being met and most of the time and I think, nura, you had said this maybe on our first call is like it doesn't matter how or why. It's just, it's unintentional, right, a lot of it subconscious, it's unconscious. But what you need, but the important message is, is you're here, now, awakening to like OK, I'm at a tipping point, this threshold, where I know that I'm, I consciously know now that I'm turning away from it and unless I do the work to go inward and do the conscious investigation, but I think it's more of the how, right. So it's like you know it's there, you know you need to turn away from it. And sometimes we need like the bigger why or the bigger reason, and that's why we really wanted to talk about what is the impact, in the bigger way, of the reason that you think you can't as the reason you need to. So oftentimes, feeling you know the guilt or the shame of you know putting yourself first and really understanding it's like OK, the reason I think I can't put myself first is because this person needs my energy, this person needs my time, because I have children to take care of, because I have responsibilities at home. Ok, but maybe that's the reason that you need to right. So if we were actually to look at the impact of what happens when you take, you know, 20 quiet minutes for yourself, or even, you know, take the time to engage in something like a coaching relationship, take the time to invest in you know, knowing more about your own, you know your own natal chart and an astrology reading. Take an intentional retreat to really dive deeper and to make that intentional time and space for yourself. What is the impact on that? When you're showing up for the people that you love with more clarity, with more self trust. I mean, I can tell you from personal experience that when I don't take that time, I actually take time away because there's a lot more. There can be more confrontation, there's a lot more indecision, there is a lot more blame and shame around the other. And I'm just kind of thinking especially of, just like my family that I live with, where, instead of being in a joyful, compassionate place to like even address, like, the needs of my son, if I'm not taking care of myself and my battery is kind of short I am shorter I don't have that space to just be. You know, to see and witness him as through his own experience right, which I know I have, that I really feel that. But I can definitely tell the times when that's not available to me, and the reasons why is because I'm not necessarily carving out that intentional space to set my intentions, to reconnect to my soul mission. How do I want to show up in the world. So the impact for me of doing that and making that intentional space and sometimes that's been weeks away from him, I've gone out. You know, I went to Egypt and we both went to Egypt. It was the longest time I think we both went away from our child for these, you know, more like of a spiritual pilgrimage to really dive into, like OK, how am I connecting and wanting to connect with my life and what am I coming back with? And even the example of doing those things on our children, like I know for Emmett he's like I want to go to Egypt, you know, like being an adventurer, and so that piece of it is just something to really hold, to really hold close and to spend some really neutral time without any shame or guilt, like you know, instead of like the shoulds is, how will this impact me when I know that I am showing up, taking time in space for being an autonomous person and knowing what that really looks like for you. And I would just love to know, nera, how does that like, how does that show up for you?

Speaker 2: 17:20

I love all of this. I was just reflecting on how interesting it is that we have so many shoulds that are not understanding of our basic human nature. Yes, right, like we're expected to live out of integrity, especially as women with our cyclical nature, in order to provide for our families, we are expected to stuff our emotions and put on a nice face to whatever, to facilitate whatever we need to in our lives. And I think, if you add to the pot this recent Pluto into Aquarius transit that we're going to be working with for the next 20 years now there's an even higher expectancy to be like merged with AI, to be one with your technology you know we've all got one of these like a phone that we're carrying around with us all the time. Like we're expected to be always on and connected in a way that is actually ironically kind of disconnecting us from our humanity. We're expected to be connected to, like the grid, but like disconnected from the true light grid, the true Earth grid, and ourselves and our natural rhythm. So I feel like so much of what's on the table here in terms of impact is reminding ourselves of those innate human connections. Yeah, and how. That is, I think, the most important impact, at least for me. I think of like what would I like to contribute for the next seven generations and beyond? And what am I also healing from the past seven generations that I inherited? And I do feel like there's been this sort of gradual disconnection from the truth of who we are, which has caused us to have to repress aspects of self, which has caused us to feel disconnected and not knowing who we are, because we are not allowed to trust that, we're not allowed to lead with that. It's kind of like a ripple effect, like one thing leads to another. And so I feel like we're here, all of us here listening, all of us having this conversation, who are interested in this sort of healing, this reclamation of true self. It's like we know all of this. We know that we are the generation that decided to be the cleanup crew for past trauma, to be the breakers of the chains. I know that is a huge theme for me in my life, and part of it is realizing that this doesn't have to be all like hard, hard work. The other thing that I think is a little bit is oh, how can I actually allow more useful joy, love, connection into my life? And I feel like that's where you know if we're talking about shadow work, if we're talking about how to use astrology or other healing modalities to reclaim self, like we're inevitably going to the space of shadow. But I feel like part of the reclamation and the why behind it all is to live a more joyful life, is to feel happier, to feel more satisfied, to feel more light. It's like what is it all for? I know, for me, I'm part of the Pluto and Scorpio generation. I know you're in the Pluto and Libra generation, so we're kind of representing probably a wide amount of our audience. But I know, for me it's been a lifetime of just looking at all of the systems that don't work, just like calling bullshit or everything basically and feeling kind of you know, a little bit jaded, a little bit like oh, wow, okay, so we're really going to do that humanity. That's interesting. But I also feel that throughout my healing process, realizing that that's a part of empowerment, it's like you're able to see what isn't working so that you can be part of the solution. So I know, for me it's very clear that it's about this soulful, truthful reconnection with the truth of life, not this very like limited, narrow band of what we're expected to live with it. Because it's like when you're only focusing on that tiny, narrow band, that's when it's really easy to get really jaded. It's really easy to feel disconnected. It's really easy to feel like your purpose is like so tiny because you're just like a cog in a machine that doesn't even work. It's so discouraging to live like that versus the alternative. It's like, oh my gosh, you're actually this huge being who came here for this beautiful experience and you're kind of observing okay, maybe the current systems haven't really been created for me to thrive within, but I can create those systems to thrive within, or I can join or I can connect with others who are interested in that realness. I think that's what I'm really trying to say. There's a fakeness about so many aspects of life where it's not like people are going in trying to be fake, but it's more like just not being truly honest, just like not allowed to bring their whole self. And when we have to live like that, we're cutting off so much of our life. We're cutting off so much of our possibility, our creativity, and I think all of this is just about coming back to life and realizing everybody wants that. We want that for ourselves, for each other. We want more realness, we want more truth and it's going to be a journey of reclaiming that and there's not any expectation. There's not like a model, there's not like a box You're like trying to fit in, to look a certain way, or be a certain way.

Speaker 1: 22:25

It's just being oh my gosh, I was like trying to find a pen to write down, like, okay, there's so many things I want to come back to, so beautiful, that like the realness, the cleanup crew. I love that and it's so true because when you do have a certain level of awareness and I think that the point is to like recognizing, like the feeling of feeling jaded or wanting to blame, and you know like this is, you know like the world doing it wrong or it's doing it wrong, and that little band of the lens in which we see through, it's like kind of that societal. Really, what I've kind of boiled it down to is it's just marketing. It's just marketing. It's just like how we get people to spend money and the fact that more people do want realness, but yet we're not like all just deciding like screw this, like let's jump on over. You know, and that is where there's this. You know it's not so much an obligation, but it's like our right and our duty in some way that it is part of our soul mission to say yes, to say yes to living in a new way. And something that you had kind of started talking about a little bit was the when we come closer to self and when we are living in our own truth and when we trust ourselves and living in cycles and rhythms, that then that's when we are coming closer to what is real. And you know, there's this idea of like nature versus culture, right, that we kind of have this like overlay of culture on top of the nature of who we are and we really have to peel that, peel that away in order to see what is innately true, like the, the, the innate truths of, of existence. Right, because when it comes to marketing and commercialism and capitalism and society is like they're always changing, but there are these basic principles of reality, of what we're living, and I think that that's what we're all feeling into here together is like I want to be in that space more. Because I'm in that space, I feel more satisfied, and it can be heavy to kind of sift through that. And I think we spoke about, like, how do we merge the two? How do we? How do we be in these roles? Because we have to like work and make money to survive and to live, but through that lens of being closer to nature, and what we're offering really here through the series and what we're offering on our retreat that we're hosting in Mexico, and April is the opportunity to make that piece of priority so that it's always at the forefront of the conversation. So it's the lens through which you be right, through which you show up. It's like I can come back to parenting because I know as a mom, I know and taught me how to be a mom, but it is we were talking about this before the call but it is the most innate role that a woman can play in her life. It is just the way that we, what we were made for in some ways right, and it's not saying anything about having children or not having children, but so that feels very real and very natural. But I noticed, as I was, as I've been raising my son, there was all of these like things I would say, or this programming that I had about the way I wanna celebrate holidays or holy days, or the way of like discipline or teaching or regulation that I had to really like sift through because I was like, wait, that doesn't feel right. Right, but had I not been in right relationship with myself, I may not have questioned it and just continued like not feeling right and so understanding our own cyclical nature and knowing even talking about like the battery being full right. As women, we go through these cycles of hormones on a 28-ish day cycle and then, beyond our bleeding years, we continue to have cyclical rhythms and we live in alignment with, like a lunar phase I mean that is the phase of the menstrual cycle but we're still in rhythm with that right, and it's something to really understand and honor. Like I can be closer to the truth of who I am when I know what's actually happening in my body, when I know how I'm showing up different today than I did yesterday, then I can honor that and like there's an innate truth to then take action from, because there's no, there's no shoulds of that. It's like this is actually naturally happening. So accepting it, honoring it and working with it is really then to how the impact I think of merging, like the soul, mission, self into the everyday life things that we have to do, and that piece of cyclical living, I think has been the piece for so many women and humanity that has really been taken away from us. Maybe it's been intentional, maybe it's been unintentional. At this point, all we know is that we know we want something different, and the last piece of something that you kind of spoke to about, like needing to be connected all the time, is this idea that there's so much information Like and we're here, I think, with a different message, of not telling you what to do but offering you the opportunity to find your own medicine, find your own genius, making the space for your because your unique expression is really desired, at least as far as I'm concerned, like we want your unique expression, your unique medicine. And I think right now, if you're in the world of self healing, self development, even spirituality there is and just health in general, wellness. There's a lot of gurus out there, right, there's like a lot of self proclaimed gurus and there's a lot of information coming at you. And what I'm really interested in creating the space for and I think what we're really interested in on the retreat, in creating the space for is you to learn what that is for you right Is, because you have that innate wisdom is to ask and seek the answers for yourself First and of course, there's experts in fields Like we don't have to know all the information, and that's part of it too is when do I want to delegate? When do I want to ask for help in learning the art of asking from a really centered, grounded place of like I know who I am. I know I always ask myself this question, like if there was no one else in the world or on the planet to like, defer to or ask, like, what would I do? What would I do if I had to make this choice by myself and no one else had ever done the thing? And I think inside of that you can find the answer, like you can seek to find that answer. I heard Tilswan actually say on a post yesterday if I was making the choice from a person who loved themselves, what would I do, like from a place of self love, and wow, I was like shoot, I don't even know, like you know, and that's even like going deeper. And I think that in so many ways that's a reflection of what we're doing too is, how do I just love myself more? And when we love ourselves more and we are really in the full embodiment of acceptance and authenticity, there's nothing else to do but share, to spread the love. Like there's just like no place else to go right, like we can't hate or shame or blame, from a place of being full self love and acceptance. And it's not always an easy journey. But there are ways to feel safe in taking that journey and one of the ways and what we've been talking about is to do is by doing it with other people, other women who are interested in the same thing. They're interested in healing. They understand that there's a shadow, they understand there's trauma and inner child work that needs to be done, but we can do it from a joyful, loving place of what do we wanna create and what is the impact that we want to have in these, like short lives that we do have right and really letting them be joyful and full of our own ideas, our own intentions, versus, like, what someone you know thinks we should be doing. And I think it's the time.

Speaker 2: 30:38

Absolutely. I mean, that's really the theme. It's like the idea of who we need, we think we need to be based on our limited experience. Through screens, that's kind of now just becomes a default reality for so many people. So that's a very different expression of self versus like when I'm physically with somebody, like oh, now our hormones are like eking out of our skin cells and you're picking them up and our cycles, might you know, sink up, like there's a very different thing that happens when you're in person and I think the future that we're shifting into rapidly it's like the future is now we are living with screens, like we get to have these beautiful connections and collaborations, but then I think the work, the hardest work, is going to be finding your people in person and finding ways to be continually regenerating and reconnecting with self through body awareness, body truth, not just like living in our brains, like that's kind of the shadow of Aquarius. It can be very detached, very out of body, very disconnected from the truth of being a human in a body, and I think that's what Aries, really the highest wisdom of Aries, can really remind us of that it's the strength that comes through the body. The courage has to be felt in the body, right Like all of what you need has to be felt in your body, and only you are the one who can feel that. So only you are the one who can know what to do with that. But there's something about, I think, getting that physical encouragement, and it's like we were talking about our birth stories a little bit, how that came up and I was expressing how, like for those three years like the year, just less than a year, of being pregnant and then the two years of breastfeeding I felt a sense of embodied purpose. There was no mind questioning, like if I was living my purpose or not. I knew that I was living my purpose because it was in my body. I was like this is what I'm here doing right now, and I was feeling into okay, that's what I'm almost always trying to emulate in everything else. That I create, whether it's a course, a program, a retreat, a friendship, like everything. It's like how does it feel in my body, do? I feel like this is just what my body wants to be doing, and trusting that instinct, that impulse, that desire. And especially if you've had any sort of relationship where you haven't trusted your impulses or your instincts or your desires and you feel like they've led you down a path of shame, guilt, right, like that can be, that's where the Chiron healing work is. It's like we're coming back to trusting our bodies, but that means we have to be in our bodies to do that work, like it's not gonna just be this idea that's in our mind, like we have to actually do something. We have to actually physically feel the hormonal experience of fear in our body and then make a different choice. So I feel like all of that is going to be a huge element of our responsibility, our feminine responsibility, especially how we show up as leaders, how we bring this medicine into our families, into our communities. And I do feel like the secret sauce is our relationships. It really is. I feel like we can't take that for granted in any way and especially if we wanna deepen into our purpose. We have to remember that our purpose, whether it's relationships with humans or with animals or with the earth, or however it is that you decided to show up here in this beautiful life, it's about connection. It's not about an idea that you have about the connection, it's about the real connection that you're having, that's the living of the purpose. So that's just kind of my soapbox rant, but just reminding you. I mean, there are these huge invitations and how are you going to show up for yourself differently within these invitations?

Speaker 1: 34:31

Yeah, yeah, and I was. I just kind of wanted to add, because we're here on, you know, on this show. But I know everyone, everyone has some, something in their lives that you know they wish to see different, that they wish to change, and I often feel like these bigger things that show up as manifestations, whether it's like you always end up like dating the same person and or you have this relationship with alcohol that is no longer serving you, or maybe it's, you know, even dynamics with family or friends, right, like whatever there's. These, these really sticking points of that, you know, are bringing great stress in into your life and they're, they're calling you right. These, these moments of great resistance or of pain are pointing you to the portal of transformation. And when we, you know, the whole point of the series here is is this, this is the solution? Right? When we change our relationship to alcohol, what we're really doing is changing our relationship to ourselves. Because when you are making yourself a priority, to be in alignment with your soul mission, to be to make spirit, your spiritual health, a priority, that is the ripple effect. You're making decisions through that lens. And when you're coming closer to an embodied expression like I love this and just like really being in your body and you can't. I mean, the only embodied expression I have after I spend some time on Instagram is usually like I feel terrible. I'm like that should really say something. I'm just like you know, like I don't know what to do. There's not really like. Sometimes I watch a funny video or something like that, but I usually don't really feel that great. I'm kind of like and I didn't really add much to my experience, or I'll hear like a talk or something. I'm not saying there's not things that are inspirational on there. We're both on there, but usually it's not like when I step into it on my mat inside of a live yoga class, right where there's other people and there's like this heart coherence, or when we create circle, we create community, and there really is a magnetic frequency that shifts when we are in closer proximity to each other's hearts and even if you're not saying anything. Right. And this is what Nura and I are creating as an opportunity for the retreat that we're hosting in Mexico in April, and we want to warmly invite you to be part of our circle for this upcoming retreat, and it's really about creating the space for intentionally looking at you know what are the things in my life that are taking up space, that are really signaling that there's an unmet need underneath that and that really I'm really ready to rewrite and re and tell a new story. Because I know, when it comes to alcohol, oftentimes we tell the story of shame and blame and I'm not normal and I can't figure it out. But you don't have to tell that story and we can tell a different story. Or when it comes to relationships, and we end up in relationships again and again and again that maybe feel broken or unfulfilling or, you know, we see the same characteristics. It's like you don't have to tell that story that I'm not, you know, maybe it's a story of I'm not lovable, and so we get to bring all of that up to the surface, but in a space that's like, oh, I see you, I hear you, I'm the reflection of you. And then from that place we get to build the story that we want to tell for the future. And we get to do it through the embodied experience of being in relationship and being next to one another and holding space for each other and moving in our bodies and dance and in an expression, and with the cycles and the rhythms of life, of real nature, of the elements of being able to see the moon rising and watching the sun set and interacting with the waves and sending our tears out into the ocean as prayers for humanity. And then, of course, the astrological impact of what's happening and, nourot, you can talk to this and I'm sure you have something to say. But I mentioned this on another one of our episodes, but in Eclipse Portal. If I would just love for you to kind of describe for everyone what that is and kind of what's happening in the potential of what's available and how there will be a transformation, whether or not you are intentionally deciding to transform, oh, yes, yeah, I mean Eclipse Seasons or Eclipse Portals, as I also like to call them.

Speaker 2: 39:12

they are like choice points. They are involving the sun and the moon so new moons and full moons and they're also involving the nodal axis, which just supercliff notes version of that. They are intersections of the moon's orbit around the earth and they move in 19 year patterns. So we come back to this kind of choice point that we haven't been at in about 18 and a half 19 years. And this year they are centering around Aries and Libra, because that's where we have the North and South nodes. We have North node in Aries, which is this sort of future trajectory destiny point. It's not a given, it's an opportunity, it's actually a way out of our comfort zone. So the North node is really inviting us into more courage, more bravery, more boldness. It's definitely not easy to do those things. When it's the North node, it's actually the hardest thing to do. But it's kind of like what you said before, mary it's like the reason you think you can't is the reason you need to. Yeah, that's exactly the energy with this North node in Aries. It's like what is the yes you need to say yes to? What is the new connection and relationship with your body. And so then, if we tune into the South node in Libra, which is very centered on what is being released, integrated, let go of and it's not to say that all of that is bad or wrong, it's not about that archetype being bad or wrong or that we're releasing that archetype, it's that we're releasing the shadow of it. We're releasing the shadow of Libra so that all that remains is the healthy expression. So example of the healthy expression of Libra is like true harmonious relationships where every individual is also able to get their needs met. That's a very basic expression of it. But where it becomes unhealthy Libra is where nobody's feeling like they can truly express their real needs, because everybody feels like they need to let the other person lead, or like ask what the other person wants before they can know what they really want. So it's codependence. It's very different than interdependence. It's very different than intentional relationships. So there's elements of that that we're releasing, and so that's the sort of high level overview of it. It's going to be a little bit different for everybody depending on where you have these placements in your chart. So there's also going to be an area of life Associated with where the south node is, where that area. If you keep doing the same old thing in that area of your life, it becomes a drain and it's like you, no matter what you put into it, it's going to drain your energy. It's going to drain out of your life because you're learning to have a new relationship with it that is not Codependent versus the other side. Where you have Aries is really this invitation of where you get to armor yourself, where you get to strengthen and Become more resilient, become that warrior version of yourself. So I can give an example for me I have my Aries is in my 12th house and that's the house of spirit and connecting with the unconscious. For me, it's like I know that this year is a year of really bringing that warrior energy to the realm of my spiritual practice and and really saying yes to the things that I know are connecting me with my higher self, with great mother, with great spirit. And actually, what is would be more draining for me was if I tried to, like you know, hustle and grind and work harder in the, in the daily mundane elements. It's like I could spend eight hours cleaning my house. For example, versus what if I took an hour to go into the Akashic records? Oh my gosh, like that is a perfect example of how it's playing out in my life and I'm really already seeing the difference of like if I go and spend that 30 minutes to an hour doing that spiritual practice. I know I really need to, and the 12th house is also the house of retreats, so that's a big part of my personal life for making this a reality. It's like working in a way that I also get to receive, so that, for you, is going to show you like that's an overall theme for the year. And now all of that is to set the stage for the eclipse moments themselves, because the eclipses are where we actually get to release and reset and recalibrate with these energies. So for our retreat, we'll be opening up when we already had the full moon lunar eclipse in Libra About a week before we arrived. So we'll already be entering the retreat with this awareness of what we're letting go, with, what is being revealed to us, because full Moons reveal things like do they show us something that's maybe been in the unconscious realm, that we haven't been able to see or understand? So we'll get this new awareness, this new insight on what we're integrating, releasing, letting go, and then we'll have this beautiful spaciousness to clear the space for that fertile seed of Self that wants to come in, and I feel that it's so much more about Remembrance and healing rather than necessarily becoming a new version of yourself. It's remembering who you already are and using that and showing up with that in a new way. Yeah, and so that is very. I think we're being guided through the hero's journey or the heroine's journey with this and we really get this beautiful opportunity to become the heroes of our own lives and our own story. And there's always an element of Death and rebirth with eclipses. There's always an element of having to let go of a major comfort zone, and this is where I think community helps, because we Can sometimes fall into these validation traps of feeling like, oh, like this old way is the only way I can have XYZ or experience XYZ. But I think when you're around other people and you're seeing all of the different reflections and options around you, you're like, oh wait, there's a whole bunch of new ways that I can show up and and I can practice this and I can try this on and nobody's having any Expectations of me, like I can just be myself as I am in this moment, in a judgment-free zone, and kind of take it like Similar to a yoga practice where you're on the mat and it's a practice for your life. It's like these coming into sister circles are like practice for all the rest of your life. It's like they're in and of themselves. They're amazing, but they also it ripples out because now in your body you have that experience of safety, trust and Just feeling safe to be who you are. So I feel like that is the overview of the eclipse. Or, on everybody who comes to the retreat, we're gonna dive deep into what that means for you personally and help you come away with some real Strategic vision and creative next steps around all of that. So really, I mean this is a huge time. You know, this is like the first year of the rest of your life, as they say.

Speaker 1: 45:36

Yeah, yeah, I love that and I I was wanted to reflect that too that Nura is going to let everyone know very specifically when these placements are in your chart so that you can, you know, narrow in more on, not just like this big overview, but really look at some specific themes and then you know, I'll be there obviously too. I mean, we both coach, but everyone will be receiving a session with me as well, so that there's something really specific we want to look at, to heal, to do some emotional processing, one-on-one. That's gonna be available as well. But it's like I I was thinking of this idea of like, name it to tame it. It's like when we get to say something out loud, now it's, it's out of our body. We've already made space for it. So the, the, the met, the power and the magic of vocalization alone is just so profound, because even in the retreat setting of it's like you know, this thing isn't making me feel uncomfortable, right, being in like a different cultural space, like there's a lot of things that could, can bubble up, that we get to see ourselves in relationship to and being able to actually Say that, that it's welcome, that it's invited, like we want to know, because we want to hold space for it and we want to and we want to reflect it, and then, you know, there'll be the opportunity to share and to talk and and obviously have more in-depth personal conversations. But when we get to say something out loud, without fear and without even you know opinions or Advice back, it's like now you've just made space, and then there's this clarity that comes in, because if we're only ever living in the kind of lower centers of the body, in the, in the survival mode, we don't always have this space to access our Wisdom. And a lot of times when we meet, resistance and stuff shows up for us and we just hold it down and you know, in the root chakra and the sacral chakra, it's like they get clogged up and blocked up. And so this is this opportunity to release into the elements and just to be held, like I have been to this magical location many, many times, and there is this deep invitation of of being like, supported and held, and like that that the earth itself wants what I don't need anymore, like it really feels so potent there. And so, yeah, I just wanted to bring voice to that of the, the ability to use our voice in ways that we don't often get to, or where we're scared or we're even like, you know, on social media it's like to say something you have to hide, or then there's gonna be a backlash of like canceling or, you know, it's like none of that is Available or welcomed. It's like your authentic expression is welcomed and and, but it's like we are. There's their space for all, right. There's space for everyone to have their viewpoint and their perspective, because we can learn from every perspective. And that's really the invitation to. I think probably of this, of this astrological time as well. And you know I maybe had alluded to this, but my experience through eclipses, as I've done them both Not intentionally utilizing the potency of the energy, of the expedited energy of like what do I want to transform Not doing that, but it happening anyway and it not feeling really that great. So doing it in a way of being held and being seen and planning on purpose to do it is just, it's very empowering. It feels really really good to be like okay, I know there's gonna be some intense stuff come up here and I'm gonna curate the space To really utilize it for my growth, and so I don't have to kind of like pick up the pieces and like you know, and there's like just gonna be more of an opportunity for integration from a really healthy, grounded and empowered place, instead of feeling like I got knocked over like by a giant wave and you know I'm hiding in a cave which Before, during an eclipse- yeah, and it carries through.

Speaker 2: 49:38

It's like what you feel into and what comes through your body. It carries through from the minimum the following six months, but I think even longer for years. I mean, we're never the same. After every eclipse portal, there's always some new puzzle piece of self-awareness that comes in. And how much better to Anchor it in a space of intimacy, heartfelt openness, connection, truth, radical honesty. Right, because now you're taking all of those qualities of how you want to show up in your life into the rest of your life. Because it's like an imprint.

Speaker 1: 50:13

It will carry through, yeah absolutely well, I Am so glad that everyone was here today. Thank you so much, and to save your space in our circle, you can follow the link here in the show notes of this episode and we would absolutely love to meet you and connect with you and party with you, and I am gonna be deejaying at some point, and so that's gonna be a fun extra little surprise.

Speaker 2: 50:42

So here for it, for all the fun, reconnection and igniting and anchoring your vision. Yeah, thanks everyone. Thank you, okay.

Speaker 1: 50:51

Hey, my beautiful listener. So the number one secret to sustainable sobriety is not winging it. You need a system that will give you consistent and predictable results. So, even if you do have a drink, you are always moving towards making alcohol unimportant in your life Not stopping and starting. And that's where the stop drinking and start living program comes in. It's your opportunity To know what's working, what's not working and what you need to do differently so that you can get out of the moderation and Deprivation trap. To become a lifetime member of the program, all you need to do is follow the link right here in the show notes or visit my website. Mary Wagstaff, coach comm and, as a special thanks for being part of our show, enter the word podcast at checkout to receive an additional 10% off. I am so excited for you to explore the endless possibilities beyond alcohol. I will see you on the inside.