We live in cycles and rhythms, although we don’t pay attention to them or understand how to really utilize our own personal rhythms as the doorway to cultivating the self trust and personal empowerment we need to change our relationship to alcohol. It’s also how we understand the art of allowing change, rather than just quitting and trying to keep the rest of our life the same. It doesn’t work that way. There is a revealing to you, on a deeper level that needs to be understood when you change your relationship to alcohol. Not simply the act of drinking, that is why it doesn’t work. That is why it isn’t over night. You aren’t just resisting changing alcohol, you are resisting the implications of what that means. It is the Fall Equinox and it is a PERFECT time to reflect on the summer. What worked, what didn’t and what you would like to be different in a future full of infinite possibilities. Any one who schedules an alignment session with me from now until October 1st, a beautiful practice I offer my 1:1 clients for creating their intentions for the next season, to really step into next level possibility. There is also a wonderful guided emotional intimacy practice I will send. You can use this pause to shift into trying a sober october from the perspective of allowing change rather than quitting.
Schedule An Alignment Session with Mary HERE
PS: Please subscribe, share and drop a 5 star raiting, so other Women, life yourself, can start to find the inpiration and support they need. Thank you.
You can create emotions on demand and find relief from urges and stress using your mind. My Signature Program, The Naturally Sober Woman helps you build the bridge from alcohol running your mind to making it and unimportant part of your life. Click Here to Join Today!
If you are loving this podcast and can feel a new perspective on the horizon, imagine what weekly, private support and accountability would do? Guarantee your success with 1:1 holistic alcohol coaching. Schedule a discovery call here.
Join our On-Line community sanctuary here!
We live in cycles and rhythms, although we don’t pay attention to them or understand how to really utilize our own personal rhythms as the doorway to cultivating the self trust and personal empowerment we need to change our relationship to alcohol. It’s also how we understand the art of allowing change, rather than just quitting and trying to keep the rest of our life the same. It doesn’t work that way. There is a revealing to you, on a deeper level that needs to be understood when you change your relationship to alcohol. Not simply the act of drinking, that is why it doesn’t work. That is why it isn’t over night. You aren’t just resisting changing alcohol, you are resisting the implications of what that means. It is the Fall Equinox and it is a PERFECT time to reflect on the summer. What worked, what didn’t and what you would like to be different in a future full of infinite possibilities. Any one who schedules an alignment session with me from now until October 1st, a beautiful practice I offer my 1:1 clients for creating their intentions for the next season, to really step into next level possibility. There is also a wonderful guided emotional intimacy practice I will send. You can use this pause to shift into trying a sober october from the perspective of allowing change rather than quitting.
Schedule An Alignment Session with Mary HERE
PS: Please subscribe, share and drop a 5 star raiting, so other Women, life yourself, can start to find the inpiration and support they need. Thank you.
You can create emotions on demand and find relief from urges and stress using your mind. My Signature Program, The Naturally Sober Woman helps you build the bridge from alcohol running your mind to making it and unimportant part of your life. Click Here to Join Today!
If you are loving this podcast and can feel a new perspective on the horizon, imagine what weekly, private support and accountability would do? Guarantee your success with 1:1 holistic alcohol coaching. Schedule a discovery call here.
Join our On-Line community sanctuary here!
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a life coach who ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol without labels, counting days, or ever making excuses. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to quitting alcohol that breaks all the rules, amazing stories from women who are throwing a better party because of it, and how you can stop drinking and start living. The show is not a substitute for rehabilitation and medical treatment or advice. Please talk to a health professional if your alcohol consumption is a risk to your mental and physical health. Welcome back, my beautiful listeners. Thank you so much for being here. This is a very, very special episode for me. I had kind of gone back and forth about what I wanted to do for this week's episode. Usually, I don't have any trouble figuring out topics to talk about because everyone has so many questions and thoughts and worries and misunderstandings and emotional processing around alcohol that it's very easy to create content to a wide audience really, there's there really does run a similar theme for so many people when it comes to their relationship with alcohol. But it is the fall equinox. And I love more than anything that only the transition into fall is just so beautiful. It's so romantic. And it's it has that really cathartic nature. And it kind of does that all on its own. Being that we're going into more of the darker hours more of the introspective time, the quieter time of the year. And, you know, today I was really just thinking about how amazing it is how perfectly amazing this planet of ours is how it works with these seasons, and the the equal day the equal hours of day and night. And then it shifts and it changes so that the the the earth can arrest and then we can use the compost as fertilizer for the soil to create the bounty and the abundance for next year. And it's a perfect time to pause because we're in between a threshold right now right here, I'm literally recording this on the equinox. So just the day before you're hearing this. And it is this threshold where we are the final harvests Of The Year of the season are taking place. And you get to choose as you shift energetically into a new phase A new part of of the year where that there will be more darkness than light now, what you would like to bring with you, and what you'd like to leave behind an honor all of it and see it for what it was. And the reason that this works so perfectly with understanding your relationship to alcohol, because so much of the time we look at alcohol is just quitting will, we have been taught that too, to end the suffering that alcohol is bringing to your life or the way this that it's getting in your way, you quit you, you kind of bury it to never look at it again. And, and that's it. And you know, it was and is part of your life and it's interwoven inside of everything. And, you know, there's so I see so many people that kind of take on this, this, this idea around alcohol when they when they change the relationship that really becomes more of a hatred against alcohol instead of a natural allowing of change of your own life to take place, walking through a threshold into a new season. And now this way of looking at our lives we are very detached from and there may be some of you if you're listening to me and you like my content, you know that my spirituality is very important to me and my connection with the cycles and rhythms of nature is the essence of all of the work that I do and I'm still in a phase where I do have doubt sometimes about my my authenticity of expressing, expressing these ideas in this way. But I know that there are many, many, many people that resonate with this because I do it, it was my first hand experience of how I changed my life, how I changed my relationship to alcohol, I didn't start just really by thinking about not drinking, and quitting, but I was embracing that allowing of change that was wanting to come through in me first. And so instead of focusing on all the things that I wouldn't be having, or the problems that I would face, when I was no longer drinking, how would I tell people how would I go to this party, these, you know, so on and so forth, all of the the questions about the future that you have, instead of looking at those, I really, really, really focused on all of the things I would be gaining on the other side of it, all of the change that wanted to come through. And so when you when things die off in nature, and we kind of talked about this during the 40 days to freedom, when things die off in nature, they they still have use, because there is an energetic transfer. So the the the debris, the falling leaves, like I said, Go and become compost, and they transmute into something new. Well, when you change your relationship to alcohol with the approach through just through compassionate observation, curiosity, and really inspired possibilities, possibility of the future. That is when you use all the energy that alcohol has been consuming in your life and all the thought processes about it, even if you still are drinking, you harness that energy to put into inspired action. So you're not sitting around in deprivation, and you're proving to yourself, that life does have so many pleasures. So quitting is to leave it is it is a permanent leaving of something and it's just kind of this, you know, this dead end almost, it's like you put a stake in it, and it's done. And the reason that that doesn't work with alcohol, as we know, as the same as any other habit is that we have become conditioned to it. And this is just the nature of the mind of classic cognitive behavior and conditioning. But to allow is to give permission to do something, right. And so there's also this idea, and people have so many beliefs that they don't have a choice when it comes to alcohol. And I know unless you are experiencing very physical symptoms from it, that those beliefs create a lack of control, and empowerment. And there is in the allowing, that you choose. Because every time you pick up a drink, you're choosing there is a decision being made. So you can see the difference between quitting and allowing change, which is the natural cycle of life. And so I was talking about my own authenticity. One of the things I really emphasize my clients do, and we work together and you won't hear any other alcohol coach that I know of anyway, talking about the importance of this is to chart your monthly cycle. And not just when you're bleeding if you're bleeding because this happens for anyone that has a womb space, their horn, there is a cycle in the hormones and there is a cycle in our month. And the more we tune into the natural rhythms of who we are, we start in a physical way, the process of emotional intimacy because it's really challenging for those of us who had been disembodied and dissociating for so long. What do my feelings feel like what is an emotion even like I don't even know what that means. But you do have the experience of this cycle of, you know, more of a hormonal kind of energetic vibe. And so if you look at it through 2030 days or even a whole moon phase, you can start to see your natural tendency. And this can start to place for you more of an understanding of who you are. And now when it comes to alcohol and feeling like you're out of control with alcohol, you can't trust yourself, that's one of the biggest things is, you don't even know you don't feel like you're making the decision, it feels like it just happens. And one of the ways to cultivate self trust, and find a safer way to feel the emotions, and I've been talking about this emotional intimacy process is by understanding your own cycles and rhythms in relation to the outer world. So for example, usually, for me around days, 1920 2122, somewhere in there is when I get a big dip and imbalance in hormones, and most women do and I, you know, after ovulation as when the estrogen and progesterone are rebalancing themselves, because if you're not getting pregnant, then the egg releases and then the hormones kind of have to balance themselves out before menstruation. And I definitely notice it more now that I'm not drinking. And one of the things that I know a lot of people concerns people have is why they can only go a couple of weeks without while taking a break from alcohol. And then things seem to just go downhill. And I really encourage people to look at this cycle. Is it a hormonal imbalance that can cause anxiety, depression, irritability and major mood swings that then you use that coping mechanism. But when you understand what's happening, you can place it in it can the actual facts of what's happening, change your thoughts around that. So when I can trust this, and I know what's happening in my body, and I start to cultivate awareness of my body, from its actual real natural rhythms, then I can start to feel safe in my body, I know what's going on. And I can actually use that to set myself up for success in the world, especially early on and exploring, changing your relationship with alcohol. So for me what I was speaking of earlier, I ended up kind of last minute doing this virtual Equinox retreat that was hosted by freedom, Tim Morello, the alchemist who was on the podcast, and I had known about it, and then I kind of forgot about it, but I it was, it was just happening. So it was from Thursday till today. And it was very, very supportive of that inward stillness that I was really needing. And I did have a big hormonal dip. And it's something I'm actually looking into with her. You know, potentially, what am I doing with my oils practice or herbal practice that I can kind of get those to balance out. So they don't seem so quite extreme. But, you know, in the past, this doom and gloom and despair kind of feeling and questioning who I am and what I'm doing, and all the things that can show up and they show up, you know, this is the human is human life. And of course, there's all this stuff out in the world. Now I offer compassion. Now I say, It's okay, that this is happening, you understand why this is happening? So what are the practices that you can do to support this? So I really stay away from the computer. I would, I'm not really making many engagements these days anyway, but I, you know, I probably wouldn't want to be around a ton of people, but maybe like a nice conversation with a friend. And but what this coming back around what this retreat did for me, and it was so beautifully crafted and done, and there was this beautiful box of ritual items, is it brought me closer to my authentic self to trusting my divine connection with spirit and that that remembrance and I have grounded my unflinching faith and dedication as a servant of the light over and over again and as a priestess of Avalon and Gaia, but there are times where we go into what's called a spiritual blackout, where no matter how deep our faith is, there's something going on with us probably hormonal or there could be an outer circumstance that we're grieving we're having a hard time dealing with that creates this lack of faith or lack of trust. However, when you start to trust and understand yourself, and your not solving for the problems anymore with alcohol, then you can feel safe being in your body and moving through whatever shows up. And this the place of choosing alcohol and these feeling these sensations that you now have absolutely no control over at all. And you don't even know what's going to happen. And it creates this false sense of pleasure. And things look better than they really are. And you're not answering that call of your highest self, and you're not allowing change. In fact, you're resisting change. That ends up feeling like the place that's no longer safe. And so really what happens, and this is how people stop desiring alcohol. It's, it's not that they are sober, and they've committed to necessarily being sober myself included in the people that I work with. They just, they just don't want to drink. They don't want to feel that way doesn't feel fun or good anymore. It's, they're having a completely different experience. And this is possible for you. And so this whole episode is really just about an idea of a shift of perspective of how are you looking at changing your relationship with alcohol? Are you looking at it, as all of the things you're missing out on and there will be a grieving process of a part of of your life that is going to be different. And that's something I plan on talking about in one of really either the next episode or one after is the smoking mirrors of alcohol, the illusion that alcohol creates about how our life really looks? Or are you looking at the possibility of what's on the other side of it, and really allowing change and seeing what change has to offer you and walking through the threshold of a new season in your life. Something freedom said on one of the recordings that she did, and she's amazing, you guys should definitely look her up her meditations are just so wonderful. They're so soothing, very relaxing, was, you know, we live in this world that sells us this eternal summer and of always being 25. And when we resist the natural change, and that's one of the things that alcohol continues to pull us back to as that we don't want to lose this, this idea of what we think our youth is or fun. But when we when we resist that natural change, we end up being in so much more pain and suffering instead of seeing what the next thing has to offer us. And we can reflect on all the amazing things that we've done. And then we can move and see the The future is full of infinite possibilities. And to get stuck into this idea of Oh my God, I can never have a drink again, let that go. Who cares? Like, don't worry about that you choose. So you're don't have a drink for five years. And then you try one and you love it or you don't love it, but doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything. And the chances of you loving it from this approach after five years is is very slim. But you know, so that when people are holding on so tight, I can, I can never drink again. They just haven't done the belief in the thought work and the emotional processing, I really truly believe that. Because Because if you really dive deep into allowing your emotions and learn how to do that, then then the option just doesn't become desirable anymore. And again, I would never ever downplay or shame or judge anyone, and how changing their relationship to alcohol is working for them. If they're having a better life because of it, and they're not engaging in harmful behavior to themselves or their loved ones then props because it takes a courageous act to do it in any way, shape or form. But I do see so many people in deprivation, and really white knuckling and never being able to not feel guilty if they did have a drink, never being able to look at it with compassionate awareness only because they haven't practiced because it is possible for anyone we know. We don't need alcohol to live, right like it is not a requirement of functioning body. In fact, it takes us out of balance. And there's no magic time to quit drinking but if there was an A beautiful opportunity to look at it, it would be right now. Especially You know, the world isn't really crazier than it ever has been. It's just that we have more access to other people's opinions. So it seems like that we also have more access to more information and more choices about how we want to create value in the world, how we can help how we can be of assistance, how we can reach far and wide I mean, look at my clients are all over the world, I interact with people from everywhere I talk. And I just want to give a shout out to all of you from Australia, Canada, and everywhere that's listening. But it's so awesome to me. I know I have like some South African listeners, it's just so cool. So thank you for being here. But this, this isn't, it's We live in an amazing time, there's a lot going on. So it is it's complex, right. And so managing the mind, growing self awareness, and learning to trust yourself. Getting alcohol out of your way is crucial for the evolution of the human species. I mean, either you're just going to go towards suffering and be completely controlled by the outer world, or you turn to the gate, turn the gaze inward, and you'd start to trust yourself. And so if you really never giving yourself an opportunity to pause, to look at why you have a trouble changing your relationship to alcohol, what's working in your life, what's not working, and how you can do it differently, then you've never really given yourself a full opportunity. So you just continue to be on the roller coaster of life, rather than at the center of the wheel of change where you get to decide in each moment. So I see so many questions about what to do because of other people and social norms. And this is the clue that you don't trust yourself, because you're looking outward for what are other people doing, how is it working for them? Why can they drink, but it's not your fault. It's popular opinion, this is how we're sold. Right? We are socialized. From the day we're born to whoever raises us, whatever they deem appropriate unless we had like these amazing, emotionally intelligent and aware people that were bringing us up which you know, and no shame to them, either. This is just like I said, part of the evolution of the human species, whoever raises us deems what is appropriate and inappropriate, leaving our natural tendencies of how we feel, and how we what we do wrong. And then that kind of gets buried in the subconscious. So it leaves us not knowing how to trust ourselves when we're trying to make decisions. Nobody one can ever feel wrong. If they are in fact feeling any emotion. The reason behind their emotion may or may not be true, but the emotion itself is a first hand experience. So it's a subjective experience that no one else has the right to control or say it is wrong when you have a lived experience. How can anyone else tell you you're wrong when it's in your body, because we have been taught to modify our emotional self. We seek to do it and others, to our children and others who challenge us or they don't mere us. Now we're doing it in the same way that it was taught to us. This leaves us with this like really big gap of you know, but knowing who we are, it's not part of the process. And that's why you're here trying to understand it and trying to figure it out. And we've seen the stark reality in the current civil rights movement that is taking place around white fragility and tone policing, black and brown people that in you cannot modify someone's lived experience. If someone's saying, This is how I this I feel. That's how they feel. And regardless of what your experience has been, like, you know, our thoughts and feelings are based on our own experience our very subjective experience up into this point. When we are consciously taking cues from the outer world and who and how to be, we lose a sense of self, and in return ourself trust. And so on the most basic level, we have no clue who we are. Alcohol is inner woven into the fabric of our identity and our safety. And then we're bombarded with reasons why it won't work and what it will mean about us, who we have to tell and why. So I didn't do any of this. And frankly, I have had actually very few conversations with my family and friends about alcohol. If they, I literally didn't tell like anyone except for my sister and my partner, when I was changing my relationship to alcohol, there were some friends that were involved in the mix, because it was just people I was close to. But it was like very nonchalant, I was like, I just have to do this is just not working for me. And if they asked, I told them, and that it keeps me away from the best version of who I want to be and how I'm showing up in the world. And then I was really no longer experience in scenar, the, you know, enjoying the experience of drinking and kind of all of the things that came along with it, the late nights, kind of boring conversations. I wasn't, you know, moving forward, and a lot of my goals, and I was really a lot about my son to about how I wanted to teach him to handle life, how to live life, and I believe in emotions, and I believe in in cycles and rhythms. And I just, I wanted to honor that I know, I really felt like a hypocrite. there lives a subtle beauty and a deep peace and the allowing of change, and honoring of it. As it is as part of your purpose here on earth to be who you are authentically, what else are we doing here? Why are we sold and striving, trying to be something different than who we are. So since quarantine, I stopped coloring my hair. And this is a very personal choice. There's no shame about how people want to, you know, do their rituals and feel beautiful and everything. But I just wanted to see what I really looked like and I wasn't and then I realized like was I doing it because of what other people would think. And that's not really a great reason to do things. Of course, you want to put your best foot forward, but is having my natural hair color. If someone judges me because of gray hair, then maybe I don't want them involved in my life anyway. Now do people create subconscious first impressions when they see you? Absolutely. And if it comes to business, or I don't know, am I really wanting to manipulate people's subconscious? I don't personally. So I just wanted to honor I wanted to just kind of fully see what it looked like. And since I had Emmett and he will be five in December. It has gotten much more gray. And I don't know if I'll keep it but it's beautiful and curly. And so it's just gotten kind of light. But I've only colored my hair probably about 20 times in my whole life, it was just never a regular thing for me. So I this is just this idea of, of authenticity and how we live our lives based on social norms and social standards. It's just not necessary anymore, we will not be outcasts. And in fact, diversity is now being celebrated. Right? And the real rebellious act of not drinking, drinking is not rebellious at all right? Everyone does it. So you can kind of just take that one off the plate. We don't ask permission from others when we stop eating sugar or processed foods, or using a reusable water bottle or taking daily walks. Why are we so terrified to be offered a drink? And simply say No thanks. Now all comes back to not trusting yourself not feeling confident in what your decisions are? Because when you show up confident tip most of the time people don't question others like, Okay, cool. I mean, and if you feel that way, a lot of times it is that mirror or that reflection of how you would respond. I know that there was a point for sure in my life where I was like, you don't drink. Okay, next Thank you like something's wrong with you or like, I respect that. But I don't think we could probably be friends because I definitely didn't have many close friends that that didn't drink. So this process of examining your relationship to alcohol building the self trust is the key to the process. And it all ties into emotional intimacy, learning and observing your thoughts and your beliefs that you've created around alcohol, it creates a sense of safety within your home body, your heart and mind as home as your home and the safety that we are used to is fitting into and being part of the group. So you know when we change that behavior, it is You know, it does trigger that, that being outcasted. But you're really modifying who you are so that you can be a mirror for those people that are around you, right. And, again, I feel like this is all changing, because you're grown. Now, right, and you don't need anyone's permission to be you. Quitting is stopping dead in its tracks without rhyme or reason it's giving up. And it kind of shocks the system. So allowing or surrendering to change brings in a grace and an understanding, and allows you to do to do reflect on the summer. And how did alcohol serve you? How did it What did you do that you can be proud of that has nothing to do with alcohol? How can you take that inspiration into the future of possibilities? You know, when one door closes, another one always opens. And it's kind of cliche, but it's true, there's no end to anything, we're just moving from one phase and to the next. And so, look at all of the things about your summer, these last few months that were amazing, that had nothing to do with alcohol, the camping trip, that had all of these qualities, the alcohol didn't add or, you know, if anything, it probably took away but the the people, the places, you know, maybe you'd had a really big project of the house that you did your children growing, think about all of the ways that alcohol didn't add to it and the things that you did on your own and the amazing life that you have. And then think about the ways that alcohol did take away from it. And how you want to leave, those are really any other quality, it doesn't just have to be around alcohol, it could be the idea of numbing of not trusting yourself and not honoring yourself. I had a client Tell me and this is just makes me so happy. It feels great to not feel good. And it feels great to not feel good. Because what she meant by that was that she was showing up to do the work. And by it feeling hard and challenging. She knew she was creating change. And I think that that is just so frigging epic. And that is there is a deep catharsis in sadness, there can be a joy in the letting go in the dying and the transitioning of the seasons. And so I know there's going to be someone out there that's like, but I hate the cold. And, you know, I kind of created that story for myself for many years, too. But then I realized that there was so much to offer in being with the natural rhythms of life. And so when I started to really dive deep into cultivating self trust, and to stop resisting the natural changing that I kept coming up against, it took me about a year before I finally took alcohol off the table as an option. And it was another about six months from there in a place where I was in full belief that my life was way better without alcohol. So I'm just telling you guys this because it doesn't happen overnight. And I was taking that first like year, I just really started to look at it from that compassionate observer place. I wasn't just focused on alcohol, but I was I was doing the inspired action thing too. I was trying to add new things into my life that had nothing to do with alcohol. So it's kind of doing both at the same time. And so it was that was just really about cultivating self trust me that I could go out and meet new people without having the lubricant of booze. And so you you know, everyone shows up to do this process a little bit differently depending on where they are and the circumstances of their life. But you can start to weave in both aspects. The the disproving the beliefs of alcohol, while you're observing you're out while you're observing drinking at the same time, they it can be possible because it is what I did. So I was like showing up for my higher self and all of the best parts of me that I was keeping down. And there was things that I was doing that I didn't want to be that I didn't want my senses altered or my inhibitions lowered, because it was really important to me. I was able to handle alcohol on my own terms because I trusted the inner world. More than the safety net of booze. I became inspired by the life that beus wasn't right. And so it was like so much brighter. And even in, even in the darker times, again, I was trusting myself, I saw all of the joys that were waiting for me. And I knew, it was also the only way to really meet my life's purpose, which has always been supporting women to empower themselves through opening and connecting with the deep wisdom that lives inside of our bodies. As women, we have this beautiful, and Nate's wisdom that that is who we are as women that have emotional waters, it's it's so downplay, but it's so powerful in the pleasure of being a woman, the sensuality, the the way that we enjoy things in just a different way, the way that we can naturally connect with the natural rhythms and that intuition of others and of life. And that that instinctual mothering rather, you are not you are a mother. And this connection to the emotional self, is really just how we live the life of our dreams. And we step into that intuition. It does it. Once that's triggered inside of you that divine feminine aspect, it really opens up. And it's just beautiful. I love my process. I So now that I've refined this the essential process for my clients, and I've revised it, of course, based on offerings, and what I've just observed from other people, I really, really honed in on it, I have clients that stopped drinking within the first month, and they're like, Oh, my gosh, that was so easy. And of course, stuff comes up because all of the triggered thoughts that you have around alcohol, you can't experience them all in one month, right? But you will learn how to identify them. You learn how to process emotions, you learn compassionate awareness and observation. And pretty much by six months, mostly everyone is in the place where they have really been able to get on the other side of disproving their beliefs. And now there's still those things that, you know, they last for a while, it's like, oh, what about that trip to Mexico with the new husband that I don't yet have? Well, we want to have a drink of champagne and yours, it's like, well, maybe I don't know, we'll figure it out when you get there, you know. And so it's just, it's just the way the human mind works. I wants to project into the future, but you stay. And we always are reflecting on what was different how things were better, and than you thought they would be. And hopefully processing emotion, you know, with your real people are really able to step out of the story and find a real resolve, rather than, than creating kind of more drama, about the story itself. There's really an emotional release and a compassionate, letting go. So my invitation to you for this Equinox portal, is to take a pause to take a pause with me right now. And just to kind of see yourself standing in a threshold, and see the summer behind you. And it's beautiful, and it's gorgeous. And there's beautiful sunset. And ask yourself, if the future that sits in front of you is is the sanctuary is the sacred ritual of your life? What do you want to bring from summer into that? If you could bring in all the things that were going to create the most peace and love and joy for you? What would you bring and watch us is dead weight that needs to leave there and crumble away with the leaves. Not to shame it not to, you know, maybe bury it, maybe burn it. But just to acknowledge it like I don't, this is not part of my future of possibility. And then create an intention for yourself the how of how you want, if nothing else changed in your outer world. How do you want to show up? What's the vibe that you want? Because it's not what we do. It's how we do it. It's the thoughts and the feelings and the emotions around it that makes the change. It's that shift of perspective from the fear based model of lack into the unconditional love model of abundance that lives in the heart. And so I would also encourage you You starting today, to really start to look at your own personal cycles and rhythms. And it's very easy, you can just kind of look week by week, but make note of it. And then like after three months, you can compare it. And this will start to cultivate the practice of self trust. So in honor of fall, because I love it, I am just so excited to just dive into all the elements I am offering to those of you who sign up for an alignment session with me, I will walk you through this intention setting process and there's a little visualization. This is the process I've been doing with my one on one clients over the last couple of weeks, to really take that sacred pause so they can remember all the amazing things that they've done, what doesn't feel awesome, and how they want to create a new intention for the future. And I'm going to do this with the anyone that comes in signs up for an alignment session until October 1, so that in October 1, you can be set up to add I don't like gimmicky things, but to try a sober October. But do it from this perspective, of compassionate awareness of bringing in an intention and an energy you want to infuse of possibility into the future. I also created this really beautiful guided emotional, the emotional intimacy practice from two episodes ago, I did for my one on one clients, a guided 20 minute audio. So it's it allows you to relax into it and really feel the process in your body. But also, it's really nice for if you have a big emotional trigger that you know, you don't want to go have a drink, but it's right there. And then you can soften and listen to this. And then you get to fully experience your emotion without all of that pain and and then the story of it being about the alcohol goes away. And then you can really dive into that practice of self trust and knowing yourself. And because you guys love me so much. I want to ask you a favor. I've never been asked this before. I don't know why. Please subscribe to this podcast. And also be so awesome if you go to Apple podcasts and leave me a five star review with just a quick little note about how this has inspired you because it's not for me about the ratings at all it is for me about making sure that more people have access to this information if it's resonating with them, because it is different. I do come from more of a spiritual perspective. But then there is the practicalities that we talked about, about the science of habitual behaviors and patterning. And, you know, really looking at controlling the mind and mental hygiene. Like if we just let the mind run away with all of the information that is out there, then we're never curating it right. And the mind is so powerful, it's our most powerful tool. It's, it's how we create the heart's desire and Kundalini Yoga. They say that the mind is the servant of the soul. And so you have to know how to control your mind, you have to become aware of the habitual thoughts that you have on repeat that are dictating your life that are dictating your relationship with alcohol. So just remember that this isn't about just quitting, it's not just about stopping the action of drinking. This is about allowing change through a process of getting to know and trust yourself. And this is the work that will last you the rest of your life. It is in valuable, it has changed the way I show up for being a mom, show up for my partner show up for my business. Believe in possibility. We have this beautiful home that like I can't even believe that we're here in this endless land. And I have so much work to do, especially when it comes to more interpersonal relationships. But I continue to show up, I don't make it mean anything about who I am. I know that by changing my relationship with alcohol, I can literally do anything because I've seen and proven to myself that my beliefs weren't true. And so I know that that's probably true about a lot of things, a lot of limiting beliefs that I have, and I truly truly trust an abundant universe and that anything anything is possible. If you show up with unconditional love for yourself and with the belief in possibility. I will leave the link for the scheduler in the show notes. To sign up, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain think about in one year from now a whole cycle of the wheel of life moving around you how do you want to feel next year at this time when you can reflect back and now you're going in to another season just feeling so amazing. Getting ready to journal and you've got a stack of books, you're ready to read, and you're steeping some medicinal teas for yourself. And you know, you're just cozied up a near loving your life. And if anything comes at you out in the world, people need your support, or there is something that you need to deal with. You have cultivated the practice of emotional intimacy and moving through hard things because we can do hard things and that's the only way to live this life is to embrace change to allow it and to really dive into what it means to be human because there is no emotion that can kill you. I am so excited for the fall. Have an amazing, beautiful day. Don't forget to subscribe and review. And then hopefully I'll be talking to you on the phone soon. Have an amazing day. Bye. The process of unraveling your story outside of the confines of alcohol is truly a sacred and beautiful journey of the South. rediscover who you are in a whole new world again. Stop by my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com, to get instant access to the on demand workshop of my revolutionary five shifts approach. And while you're there, you can sign up for a one on one consultation, where we will create together your life intention. This is the framework for which all of your decisions around alcohol are made from your truest and highest self. In addition to working remotely worldwide. I host private one on one healing retreats at my sanctuary in Mount Hood for again, I can't wait to connect