10. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. ALCOHOL ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE, It will never be more amazing than it was the last time you drink. The alcohol doesn’t create the experience, YOU DO! Alcohol doesn’t evolve into something more sophisticated or more enlightened. You’ve done it all at this point.
9. BOOST YOUR IMMUNITY
8. KEEP YOUR INHIBITIONS IN CHECK
7. BE THE EMOTIONALLY STABLE ONE FOR OTHERS WHO MAY NEED SUPPORT
6. LEAD BY EXAMPLE (take the high road, step out of judgment into curiosity. You can love AND tell the truth) generate a list of questions that take the focus off of you.
5. SAVE YOUR ENERGY (future focus for that evening, the next day and into the week)
4. EXPLORE CURIOSITY (whats your experience with your food, the music, your body etc…?)
3. CREATE A NEW RITUAL: 2020 IS ALL ABOUT OUT WITH THE OLD
TRADITIONS ARE ONLY USEFUL IF THEY ARE SUPPORTIVE OF EVOLUTION.
WE DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING BECAUSE OUR GRANDPARENTS DID.
2. FIND THE REAL MEANING OF THIS SEASON (hint: it’s not about getting wasted and missing the whole thing, you might as well just take a nap!)
1.HONOR YOUR TRUTH: “Your intuition is guiding you towards your highest good for your highest good”. Laura Aszman
Schedule a free alignment session with Mary HERE
Hula Hoop Instructor Laura Aszman on Ep. #39
You can create emotions on demand and find relief from urges and stress using your mind. My Signature Program, The Naturally Sober Woman helps you build the bridge from alcohol running your mind to making it and unimportant part of your life. Click Here to Join Today!
If you are loving this podcast and can feel a new perspective on the horizon, imagine what weekly, private support and accountability would do? Guarantee your success with 1:1 holistic alcohol coaching. Schedule a discovery call here.
Join our On-Line community sanctuary here!
10. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. ALCOHOL ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE, It will never be more amazing than it was the last time you drink. The alcohol doesn’t create the experience, YOU DO! Alcohol doesn’t evolve into something more sophisticated or more enlightened. You’ve done it all at this point.
9. BOOST YOUR IMMUNITY
8. KEEP YOUR INHIBITIONS IN CHECK
7. BE THE EMOTIONALLY STABLE ONE FOR OTHERS WHO MAY NEED SUPPORT
6. LEAD BY EXAMPLE (take the high road, step out of judgment into curiosity. You can love AND tell the truth) generate a list of questions that take the focus off of you.
5. SAVE YOUR ENERGY (future focus for that evening, the next day and into the week)
4. EXPLORE CURIOSITY (whats your experience with your food, the music, your body etc…?)
3. CREATE A NEW RITUAL: 2020 IS ALL ABOUT OUT WITH THE OLD
TRADITIONS ARE ONLY USEFUL IF THEY ARE SUPPORTIVE OF EVOLUTION.
WE DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING BECAUSE OUR GRANDPARENTS DID.
2. FIND THE REAL MEANING OF THIS SEASON (hint: it’s not about getting wasted and missing the whole thing, you might as well just take a nap!)
1.HONOR YOUR TRUTH: “Your intuition is guiding you towards your highest good for your highest good”. Laura Aszman
Schedule a free alignment session with Mary HERE
Hula Hoop Instructor Laura Aszman on Ep. #39
You can create emotions on demand and find relief from urges and stress using your mind. My Signature Program, The Naturally Sober Woman helps you build the bridge from alcohol running your mind to making it and unimportant part of your life. Click Here to Join Today!
If you are loving this podcast and can feel a new perspective on the horizon, imagine what weekly, private support and accountability would do? Guarantee your success with 1:1 holistic alcohol coaching. Schedule a discovery call here.
Join our On-Line community sanctuary here!
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking fun and easy. And the profound and sacred journey that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol, it's time to answer the calling of the woman who is ready to be fully embodied, to stop drinking and start living. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to mental physical health. Now on with the show. Welcome back, my beautiful listeners, thank you so much for being here for another episode of stop drinking and start living. If you're new to the show. Welcome. It is so nice to have you. It is a beautiful day here. in Mount Hood, Oregon. It's a sunny day, we're very excited about that. But it's chilly. We have a little bit of snow on top of the mountain. And something I offered to my yoga class this morning. I don't know if you know this. But I've been teaching yoga for about 15 years. And I have a class of senior students, excuse me that I've had for quite a long time. And when I moved from Portland, Oregon, I stopped teaching that class. And then COVID hit and I decided to reach out and start to do some online classes. And it's been really lovely and supportive. I've talked about this a little bit on the show that I've taken some live online classes myself, I've been in my with my hula hoop instructor and also doing some conscious dance and some other live ritual. And it really does make a difference having it live Personally, I think there's just something about the energetics behind it. So if you have the opportunity, there's tons of stuff out there. Eventbrite meetup.com on Facebook, of course, there's people doing things so creative, all over the world, Airbnb has these really cool experiences. So take the opportunity to just explore the, you know, the, the luxury, that we have to have this online world, it's, you know, not ideal, but there, there is a lot of benefit from it. I just finished last night, an eight week program with my instructor, Laura Osman, and she'll be starting up some new classes in the new year. So she, I'll link her show in the show notes, she was actually interviewed on the podcast. So she's teaching actually from Australia right now, and so all over the world. But this particular class was like nothing that's ever been created before it was called meditation movement and the hoop. So it was like conscious dance. within some instruction really guided from the inner space through the energy centers of the body. But utilizing the hula hoop kind of as a tool as like a dance partner, we also used a scarf for a lot of it. So it was just this really beautiful way of engaging with space, and the body and really meeting the space of our rooms, as kind of an entity of it in and of itself. And, you know, the elements around us who do change and shift as we change and shift. If you hear a little gurgling noise in the background, I invited my son Emmett to sit in, let me to sit and record with me today while I came on the show, so he's having milk and cookies, and I know there's like a little bit of crumbling. So that's what it is. This is a family affair here. And I don't typically record Friday mornings, because I'm here watching him, but I thought it could be kind of fun for him to be here with me. So think about the uniqueness that you are today. There is no other spark of consciousness like you there never was. there never will be. And this is such an amazing inspiration to start to think about why you would want to get alcohol out of your way regardless of what that really looks like if you completely live an alcohol free life or not. But With the presence of alcohol does take away from the whole of who you are because it alters it in some way. So you aren't being fully expressed. And again, without judgment, it's just the facts. And to really live into the fullness expression, not of who you are as a physical human, but that that divine spark of creative consciousness that you are, which is, which is perfect, purely, cannot be fully expressed, when we believe that there are errors in our experience, when we believe the body should be a different way than the mind should be a different way than the achievement should be a different way. And really, these come from stories that have been created for us before we were born. And so a story that you probably have an all of us have, is around what the holiday season means. Most people in some way, shape or form have some celebrations around. You know, in the United States, there's Thanksgiving time. And then we have, you know, other traditions, kind of based loosely around some religion. But obviously, Christmas, and Hanukkah are very present in the United States. And then of course, there is the new year, which is also really just based on you know, the Gregorian calendar, because that's not that doesn't happen everywhere around the world. So today, I wanted to talk about 10 reasons not to drink this holiday season. So regardless of what you choose for the new year, it could just be a really beautiful way to see what's possible, but to honor yourself by planning ahead of time, so you're not, you know, oh, I, you know, I don't really want to drink because it kind of turns into, you know, whatever it turns into, but you don't really give yourself the opportunity to decide ahead of time, how do you want to feel? What are the thoughts, you want to be thinking, how can you approach this differently, this new this year, 2020 is quite a different year than traditional holidays will be. So what's possible, like, you know, we're looking at it from a positive framework rather than a negative framework. And this is available to everyone regardless of our situation. And to be just knowing that, if you're in good health right now, celebrate that. I remember before I stopped drinking altogether several years, a couple of years, in the past of deciding not to drink on my birthday thinking, gosh, why would I celebrate my life by altering who I am by poisoning my body, right, by making myself sick. And so that kind of awareness has been with me for many, many years. And you know, so the same thing here. Why? Why do we choose to celebrate by altering the experience, I mean, so we have to really kind of be honest with ourselves about what's happening. And of course, there will be many objections for you and excuses. Especially if you're spending time with family about, oh, I can only you know, get through this with a drink, you know, my family bugs me or it's super stressful or whatever. And just realize that those are all excuses. Of course, all of your choices are your own. You can choose what you engage with, you can choose what not to engage with, you get to choose your thoughts, you get to choose, you know, and then eventually get to choose your emotions, or you can just be with what is without judging it, and step into that place of the witness and the curious observer from a place of compassion and just say, you know, this year has been different, so why not just kind of extend that into the holiday? So 10 reasons not to drink this holiday season. This is going to kind of be our Late Show, Letterman countdown. Number 10. Then they're done that, right? You know what the holiday season looks like with alcohol. what's possible without it like you've already done this however long you've been drinking for. You've done that 3040 times, right? You've had Thanksgiving drinking. So what's possible if you don't like you know what you're not good at, you don't know what you're not going to be missing out on. Alcohol isn't going anywhere. If you want to drink the next day drink if you want to drink next hop Thanksgiving drink, but there's no place to evolve with alcohol like this year drinking isn't going to be different than last year drinking. Right so the drinking part of it has been exhausted. So been there done that moving on to You know, kind of bigger and better. Number nine, your immunity. You know, it's been predicted, obviously we're seeing a spike in COVID around the country or around the world, rather, you know, and everyone has their own opinions and their practices with that. But your immunity, I mean, it's also flu season. And so alcohol is not an immune booster. So choosing, you know, maybe some beverages or some practices that will support your immunity during this time and really just keeping you healthy, so that you can be the vibrant shining light that you are. Number eight, your inhibitions. So when we drink, we have a tendency to become a little bit looser, and more free with what we have decided is important to us. So you know, in line with COVID, and social distancing practices, they've seen that gatherings, especially private gatherings at home, and not even out in restaurants have been the source of many sites for contracting and spreading the disease. So if you know you've been wearing a mask, and you've been practicing social distancing, and then you have a few drinks, and that kind of goes away, then you know, potentially, that's increasing your risk or exposure or other people. And it also, you know, doesn't allow you when you lower your inhibitions, it doesn't allow you to be in that present moment experience where you are trying to have a new relationship, or maybe you're trying to see the other from a new perspective, right. So when we lower our inhibitions, kind of everything else falls to the wayside let that we're not fully standing up in alignment with our values with our highest self with our, with our, with how we want to treat our bodies, and so on and so forth. Number seven, be the emotionally stable one for the others who may need support. So if you're not drinking, and you know, your inner balance, that inner alignment, and your emotional stability will be greater, and also health wise, too. So how can you take the focus off of you, and really step into that place to be supportive for someone else that may need it more than you do. And even if it's not more than you do, maybe shifting that perspective, and when we take the emphasis off of us and our troubles and our personal problems, and we extend out into the world and someone else, it really the it really kind of lessens the blow when we can be the support for another. And, you know, understand that we don't know what's going on in people's personal lives, we have no clue what's going on in someone else's head, which is what's dictating their experience. So without judgment, be that emotionally stable person for someone else, this holiday season that may need it, or a support for someone maybe that's, you know, sick or injured. Number six, lead by example, take the high road and step out of judgment into curiosity. You can love and tell the truth, you know, to yourself. So the high road doesn't mean, you know, being righteous, it just means that there are many, many people. And if you drink, you probably are surrounded by people who drink, you probably maybe grew up in that environment from doing this work. What I know is that there are millions of people who feel this way, who have this conflicting love hate relationship with alcohol, who kind of just resigned to the negative effects of alcohol in their life. And in really believe that it is the version of their best life. So without any sort of righteousness, lead by example, by having an amazing time. And be and having fun without drinking, right? You don't even have to say anything about it. Just show up. If someone offers you a drink, just you know, say sure I'll have a soda water. Sure I'll take a cup of tea. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. If someone says, oh, you're not drinking today. And God says no, I'm not if they ask why. I just don't feel like it. You know, we think that we need this whole big explanation. If someone asks you for a glass of milk, you're not going to go into some vague explanation of why you don't want one. You're an adult, you're grown you just simply say no, that's all And you don't make a big deal out of it. And you know, this changing our relationship with alcohol is we want to have the answers to all of these scenarios. Because we think it's different than everything else. That's the story we've been, we've been told, and it's just not. So like, chill out, drop all the emphasis about that it's so much, it's literally a liquid in a glass that you won't be consuming. And that's it. So you start to shift your energy, take the emphasis off of how hard it's going to be, shift your energy into having fun, and it won't be that hard. So lead by example, and show that you can have a good time. So something you can do is generate a list of questions that take the focus off of you. So you know, kind of leading into that last and being the emotionally support. So the chances are that, you know, if you're spending holidays with some people, it may be people that you haven't seen in a while, this year, it might be different. But even if it's the people that you've been living with all year, or even if you're say doing a zoom call, show up with some curiosity, what do you want to know about people, I have these awesome connection cards. You could go online and just google questions for closeness or icebreaker questions. lead, lead the dinner with a question for everyone. And you know, show up in a new way for yourself to be more of a leader for yourself, in an also be creating that atmosphere for others. And number five, save your energy, right. So alcohol takes so much of our precious energy, you know, from the goals and stuff that we're accomplishing or doing the following day or even in that evening, you might stay up later than you were going to you might not be able to get up you might be wasting a day. Just remember what your goals are and how alcohol has taken away so much of your precious time. So many mornings, so many evenings, where you could have been in bed writing letters, you know, journaling, reading, or just chilling out taking a bath. So save your energy for something that really deserves it not just one more drink. This lick this little liquid takes up steals so much of our energy from us. So remind yourself that you need your energy, you've got other things to do. You've got things that you want to get done and goals to accomplish. And let that be an inspiration. So you kind of future focus on how do I What do I need my energy for? And what do I want to feel like later this evening or tomorrow morning? I know the day after Thanksgiving, I'm teaching a class. And you know, I want to feel great. And alcohol is not a question for me because I don't want to drink but I just know you know even when it comes to sugar or getting in bed early, I know how I want to feel in the mornings. I know how I want to feel the next day. So I plan my life according to how I want to show up. Explore curiosity. So I already talked about this in a couple of the in the couple of the other reasons. But what is curiosity to you? What can you be curious about maybe your body maybe your emotions without judgment really stepping into that place of the witness? from a place of compassion? If you haven't practiced this before? It's really just about ditching the judgment? How can I see and honor the uniqueness and the beauty and the divinity of everyone? How can I be in this experience, maybe more engaged with the cooking of the food and offering gratitude to my food and putting in that love. I always used to joke that my grandma you know grandma's cooking is so good because it's like butter and love and the main ingredients like she puts so much of wanting to feed her children into that that that's like infused in her food. So really get into the experience of being present with the preparation of the food and setting the table setting the mood. get curious of how focusing your attention can shift your experience create a playlist for the evening or for the day you know light some candles I just made an altar on our mantel yesterday not really an altar but you know decorated the mantel for the holidays for this Christmas and winter season. And it was so much fun to do. I got some fresh foliage from the red cedar trees and you know just got out some ribbon and lights and it was really fun and it looks super cute. And so now when I look at that it brings down To me, it's aesthetically pleasing. And it kind of adds a little bit to the coziness of you know our home. So explore your curiosity, what can you get curious about and this is also going to create in your and heighten your creativity, get creative, make a beautiful centerpiece, make a wreath, and maybe makes a little special invitations. Placing on everyone's table, a little note of gratitude of something that you enjoy or appreciate about them. One year, we don't know if it was for Thanksgiving, oh, no, I think it was for Valentine's Day. Last year, this was so cool. We went around the table. And everyone had to say what they loved or appreciated about each other person at the table. So from their own unique experience, they said, you know, this is what I kind of see about you. And this is what I appreciate about your uniqueness. So for Thanksgiving, that could be such a beautiful sentiment, such a beautiful way to enhance the holiday. And so this moves on to number three, create a new ritual 2020 is all about Out with the old. I mean, it really is right, it's just like, traditions are only as useful as they're supportive of evolution, we've seen the way that things have been run around here. And we know that it's not inclusive. So let's make some new traditions that feel really inclusive of your growth inclusive of all of your family members, inclusive of the citizens of the world. And, you know, drinking as a ritual is not really inclusive of, of anything. And so create a new ritual, what is that for you? And that might simply be maybe you make a new holiday beverage. You know, I don't really talk about this a lot on the show as far as needing to substitute things for other things. Because really, we're changing our beliefs and our thoughts about alcohol. And so you don't need a different drink to not be deprived. But yes, for a holiday celebration, having something special, can be really fun, you know, sparkling apple cider or whatever it is, but make it yours and make it unique and and really just tap into that creative potential of a new ritual. And just kind of see how can you bring a little aspect of the old of honoring maybe your ancestors into it. Find the real meaning of the season. This is number two. does do the holidays really mean getting drinking? I mean, really think about this write down a list of what are what is this time of year supposed to represent? Right? It's not Coca Cola and Santa Claus. I mean, that was something that was sold to us, you know, to generate this as a consumer driven holiday. So this time of the year, when it gets darker, we honor this time and if it's from religious purposes, really dive into like, what does that mean for you, this idea of giving and receiving and gratitude, or just bringing more light to the darker days, right? So we can create this warmth and this coziness and this friendliness. So decide what does that mean for you to find the real meaning of the holiday season? And then, you know, look at alcohol, and the two of them will not be in alignment. And if some of your objections are, you know, having a glass of wine with my loved ones is how I connect with them. really ask yourself, you know, am I connecting from my most authentic and intimate self? If this is the only way I can connect with them is by lowering my inhibitions, then why? You know, what, am I so afraid of just being myself and taking the questions for closeness deeper? I mean, if you're able to ask the same questions, a couple of glasses in it, why wouldn't you just be able to ask them regular naturally and why would you be nervous about that? And it's not to say that you shouldn't be because, you know, having been close and vulnerable with our families can be challenging, but just but just knowing that and being honest with yourself about that, and then getting curious what would happen if I if I tried the same thing and I didn't drink and I was drinking a cup of tea and I you know, just pretend like didn't make a big deal out of it and just kind of pretended like everything was as it was, but I just didn't drink then what was possible. And, you know, one of the things that's interesting this kind of just kept popped up to me is people, if people are drinking around you, there might be a shift in energy. If you're not drinking that looks a little like silly or like, Whoa, like, I know, I've been there before. It's kind of like, Okay, this is getting a little weird. But just trying to be open and maybe like, even join in. I mean, it's not like you have to stay and stay up all night or do anything and be crazy. But if people are just, you know, maybe getting a little bit loose because of drinking, can you maybe get a little bit loose without drinking? and just see what that the see what that looks like? Maybe you start the dance party, maybe you turn on the music and have a sing along. I mean, who knows, bring in some of that joyful childlike wonder. Bring a game to play and just change, you know, that could be into like, create a new ritual. So find the real meaning of this season and let that fuel and guide your feelings and your thoughts. How do you want to show up and this leads me to the number one, the number one reason to not drink this holiday season is to honor your truth. In my class last night, my teacher Laura Osman said, your intuition is guiding you towards your highest good for your highest good. Your intuition is guiding you towards your highest good for your highest good. Your intuition doesn't have this inkling that there might be a better way to live life than with alcohol. I don't say better, as in better than you know, there's no judgment here, but better for you. Right? Like just better for you not better than someone else. So your intuition isn't guiding you to this highest good like you know that not drinking is going to be better for you like, emotionally, mentally and physically right. Now, you don't believe it's going to necessarily bring you a better life right now. But you might believe that too. But it's doing it for your highest good. It's not doing it to like trust in that when she said that I stopped the class and wrote it down. Because I was like, Yeah, why would our art our deepest intuition and deepest truth be guiding us towards our highest good if it wasn't for our highest good if it wasn't going to be better on the other side? So you that deep, deep trust? And then that can help take how you can take your action towards that. It's like I would my deepest self be guiding me towards something that was going to be worse? It wouldn't it never was. Think about all the times that you listen to your intuition. You're like, Oh my god, I'm so glad that I did that, even though there was a little resistance at the beginning, right? Like sometimes leaving the house to go to an event or I just did this the other night, I signed on to an online event. And I was like, I don't really want to do this right now. I just didn't want to be in front of computer. And I did. I'm like, Oh, I'm so glad I did that. Because I pushed through some beers and some boundaries. And think about all the times you didn't listen to your intuition. We were like, Oh my gosh, I knew I shouldn't have done that. Why did I do that, of course, we don't beat ourselves up. So like that intuitive space is correct. It's not going to be guiding you towards something that's going to be worse for you, that's going to turn out worse. And if you could take away anything from this is trust yourself, listen to yourself. Right? Your, your highest self, that deepest part of you, outside of story outside of labor outside of all that is guiding you to the place that's going to feel better ultimately, even if in life, even if based on the past and repetition and our human experience of all the story. It doesn't seem like it. So we got to get out and expand your awareness expand beyond the kind of the illusion of the body into this deeper space where there's no boundaries where there's no separation between you and the other in the world in the universe. I mean, we're bigger than these bodies, this that deep, innate part of us that has that intuition. That's the place we tap into. So if you have any questions, I would love for you to send me an email. If you are struggling or if you're worried about something's I'm sure there's many, many other people having, you know, wondering how they're going to show up for Christmas this year. Don't base your experiences on the past, every moment is a new opportunity. We don't know how other people are going to be showing up differently and you can say, Oh, I know I know these people, but you show up differently and see how that can change the experience and even if it's annoying and frustrating. Just keep smiling. put your best foot forward honor you Truth and know that in the end, ultimately, it's your thoughts, feelings and actions that are going to create your reality. And you can go home to bed early, and know that you showed up doing your absolute best. And you were a helper, you landed a helping hand, you scout up and clear the table, you ask the host, which what he or she needed. So plan ahead of time, decide how do you want to feel at your holiday gatherings. And then what thoughts generate that feeling of fun and excitement? Oh, we have a day off. There's it's going to be leisurely. It'll be warm and cozy, there's going to be great food, I can't wait to see this person who I have this great idea, like, generate some thoughts, new thoughts that create excitement or create fun or peace? Or, you know, whatever it is, and maybe you're spending the holiday season alone? How do you want that to feel? Do you want it to feel cozy and warm? Maybe you buy yourself a new book or dive into a book. Maybe you make yourself a beautiful meal and set it the table like you're setting it for the most honored guests you've ever had, you know, show up differently in that way. Maybe you cozy up with a movie, you know, one of your favorite holiday movies, decide how you want to feel pick the best feeling and generate some thoughts that are going to be in accordance with that, wow, I've never got to spend my holidays alone. I get to create the exact environment I want, right? So it's like, we come up with excuses why something's going to be bad, right? Like, oh, this person or I'm alone, and so come from a positive place. If you could think or feel anything about the experience, what would that be? It's going to be an amazing holiday season. I trust that you have so many beautiful ideas and that you can put up some beautiful decorations, gather some foliage from around your home if you live in the city. You know, maybe you can create an altar from some found things. The possibilities are endless. I hope this helped you and supported you on your journey and I can't wait to talk to you next week. Have a wonderful day. Bye. If you are loving this podcast and thinking about what it would take to start the process of getting alcohol out of your way, I want to invite you to check out my one on one coaching mentorship. It's your opportunity to apply these tools and a new framework to how you live your life. To get the results you want most to stop drinking without pain, to trust yourself again and honor your future from a place of possibility. It takes the guesswork out of the how it meets you where you are at in this moment. Together we will walk through the threshold of the next phase of your life. Follow the link in the show notes to schedule a time to talk or on my website. Mary Wagstaff coach calm I can't wait to connect