This week we talk about the felt sense of remembrance. Different from the yearning of nostalgia, remembrance is the homecoming that reminds us of who we are truly outside of story. Alcohol covers this sentiment up from us. Remembrance is a subtle knowing of deep peace and being that only exists when we observe the mind from the place of unconditional love, rather than attach to thoughts based on fear.
FIND FREEDOM FROM ALCOHOL BEFORE 2021: LIVE CLASS SUNDAY DECEMBER 6TH, 2020 11AM PST! REGISTER HERE
LEARN MY REVOLUTIONARY 5 SHIFTS APPROACH TO DRINKING LESS FOREVER
If you have a love/hate relationship with alcohol you may feel like you have 2 options: 1) Resign to a life of drinking, anxiety and sluggishness.
2) Quit drinking and live in shame, boredom and deprivation forever.
I would like to invite you to consider the third option...
3) Find freedom from alcohol by dropping the judgment, getting curious, and deciding ahead of time all of your results in life.
Feel amazing and inspired about what's to come, because you know a new way to solve for alcohol getting in your way.
You CAN feel confident that you have a perfect plan for your drinking that you decided ahead of time and feel great about.
In this class, you will take away the exact process and tools I teach my clients
Click Here To Join The Sustainable Sobriety Course Today.
YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM THE CYCLE OF STOPPING AND STARTING AND THE TRAP OF MODERATION,
BY EMBRACING A PATH THAT ALLOWS YOU TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT THE BURDEN OF COUNTING DAYS OR HIDING YOUR TRUE SELF.
Sustainable Sobriety Is Here! Keep the needle moving forward no matter if you do or don't drink.
Join Sustainable Sobriety Course, where you'll learn everything to find the confidence to be authentically you in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
This week we talk about the felt sense of remembrance. Different from the yearning of nostalgia, remembrance is the homecoming that reminds us of who we are truly outside of story. Alcohol covers this sentiment up from us. Remembrance is a subtle knowing of deep peace and being that only exists when we observe the mind from the place of unconditional love, rather than attach to thoughts based on fear.
FIND FREEDOM FROM ALCOHOL BEFORE 2021: LIVE CLASS SUNDAY DECEMBER 6TH, 2020 11AM PST! REGISTER HERE
LEARN MY REVOLUTIONARY 5 SHIFTS APPROACH TO DRINKING LESS FOREVER
If you have a love/hate relationship with alcohol you may feel like you have 2 options: 1) Resign to a life of drinking, anxiety and sluggishness.
2) Quit drinking and live in shame, boredom and deprivation forever.
I would like to invite you to consider the third option...
3) Find freedom from alcohol by dropping the judgment, getting curious, and deciding ahead of time all of your results in life.
Feel amazing and inspired about what's to come, because you know a new way to solve for alcohol getting in your way.
You CAN feel confident that you have a perfect plan for your drinking that you decided ahead of time and feel great about.
In this class, you will take away the exact process and tools I teach my clients
Click Here To Join The Sustainable Sobriety Course Today.
YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM THE CYCLE OF STOPPING AND STARTING AND THE TRAP OF MODERATION,
BY EMBRACING A PATH THAT ALLOWS YOU TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT THE BURDEN OF COUNTING DAYS OR HIDING YOUR TRUE SELF.
Sustainable Sobriety Is Here! Keep the needle moving forward no matter if you do or don't drink.
Join Sustainable Sobriety Course, where you'll learn everything to find the confidence to be authentically you in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking fun and easy. And the profound and sacred journey that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol, it's time to answer the calling of the woman who is ready to be fully embodied, to stop drinking and start living. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to your mental or physical health. Now on with the show. Hello, my beautiful listeners. Thank you so much for being here. And welcome back to another episode, I hope that you're doing amazing, I hope that you've been taking some of these tools and applying them to your life. I'm super excited, I wanted to offer you the opportunity to let me teach you live. The three simple shifts that I have created, that I use to help my clients overcome any urge or craving. And if you go on to the show notes, you will see a link there that has a direct link to my scheduling app, you can sign up there it is completely free to you a complimentary call will I will teach you this three shift process of really being able to move through any urge or craving completely with ease. And from that place, you can start to gain a little bit more clarity around this love hate relationship that you have with alcohol. So as you're continuing moving into this holiday season and into the next year, you can feel more confident and like you're stepping in with some real tools that you can actually apply to your life. It's an amazing process. And I would love to offer it to you. So find the link in the show notes. I hope that you enjoyed the last couple episodes, they were really, really fun for me to make the one about the 10 shifts that you can make this holiday season of reasons why not to drink. So if you haven't listened to that, please go back and listen to it. It is going to give you a lot of inspired tools to take with you and just clarity around. Why is it that I'm drinking and just what if right a little bit of an experiment that this is just one day or just a few days, and there's simply just days, right? They're not. There is like an energetic container because of our thoughts about it. But something that I felt really important for me for my Thanksgiving we just celebrated here in the United States was I really needed a day off of screen time. And I was home with my little one and my partner was off. And so I decided to not feel any obligation. And I didn't call anyone and the next day I had a bunch of messages I responded to and everyone was great. And they enjoyed their day. And I enjoyed my day and it felt really wonderful to not have any screentime in any way. Except I did sign into a beautiful ecstatic dance that by this company called soul motion that the the founder was offering for free that day and he's amazing, I would highly recommend checking them out. And then the last episode, I was really really happy with the way that that episode turned out about chasing nostalgia, I think I got the point across. Again, if you haven't listened to that, please go back and listen to it because it kind of leads into today's episode. Which I wanted to talk about the idea of remembrance. So not all of our memories are bad or not all of our felt sense experiences. You know, when we have an emotion tied to senses, it can be it's like this really visceral experience. It's sometimes kind of unexplainable. Sometimes they're tied to a direct memory. And then sometimes like I spoke of and last week's episode, this nostalgia is sometimes this yearning for things to be different than it is or then it ever actually was. And that is the thread that alcohol has to the past. Now in the death Initially, I read last week, the Greek definition talked about it as also a yearning, but a homecoming. And now, I'm going to object to that, and I'm going to create a new definition of what the essence of a homecoming is different than nostalgia, because I think that those are two very different feelings. To me, changing your relationship to alcohol, and what I walked myself through, and what I walk my clients through, that is the homecoming that is the exceptional opportunity to be able to experience who you are fully unaltered, 100%, loving all of you. But there is this felt sense that I like to call remembrance. And remembrance is a particular act or instance of recalling of a thing remembered so it could be a memory, sometimes there is a, you know, a momento or a, like a token or a souvenir that you remember something by. But I want to take it back a little bit further, to a deeper essence of the innate beings that we are before story is created, as we are uniquely as the I Am, that lives and exists underneath the layers of story underneath the layers of identity, underneath the layer of identity, that is alcohol. And the love hate relationship with alcohol, is really this cognitive dissonance, almost between the nostalgia of the yearning, and the remembrance of who you are of the homecoming, stripped back to basics back to day one. And even before day one, right, because we are imprinted with an experience of being in the womb, also some stuff energetically. So this idea of knowing deep down that calling that you have that you know, there's something more there's something bigger, there's more joy for you, and you experience it now. And again, when you have a day off from drinking, and you feel amazing, and there's just like this big weight taken off of you. But because it seems a little bit out of reach, it's like not enough to, to grab, and that the alcohol is so present and so immediate. And then there's like the every day, you know stressors of your life, that that then seems overwhelming, and available. So you give into those urges, and not really sitting in that place of remembrance of Wow, when I go out. And you guys know I've heard about you, I've talked about this before. But that idea of like when I go out and I'm with nature or with my children, or in this way that just invokes a sense of being of peace, not that reaching, not that yearning, not that grasping. There's another essence of felt sense of remembrance, where you're not really recalling a specific memory, but it's just a sense of homecoming to your self. And everyone experiences this in some different ways. If you are an athlete, or an avid person that experiences you know the outdoors or a yoga person, you will have experienced this sense of homecoming, this catharsis of this kind of natural, high. Now, yes, there are some endorphins running but it's kind of like you really forget and can become completely stripped of labels and detached from thoughts and you're in this place that feels just so familiar because it is is the essence of who you are. It is the present moment. It is the place where we can experience the only place where we really fully can experience our deep connection. To this symbiotic relationship of all that is, and what happens when you have a deep relationship with alcohol is you just never have enough time to sit in that space, because you're either not present because you're drinking, or you're attached to your thoughts around drinking. So do you need to cut out alcohol 100% right away to experience this? No. But you need to start watching your mind with curiosity and compassion during the times when you're not drinking, right, and then you start to add in these, these breaks these pauses. And then you can use this process that I'm offering you these three shifts, to moving through some of that discomfort of that natural poll, it's going to bring you back to alcohol. But I have a really easy process that helps walk you through it. And you use that and you you just know there's a choice that alcohol is not going anywhere. But you pay really close attention to these moments of these little, these little cracks of light coming through. And you really experience them and you feel into them. And you get very curious about the subtlety of that feeling of peace and joy, which isn't a high high, right? It's not this crazy, out of this world euphoria. It is an expansiveness. It is a place where you can kind of rest, right? And euphoria can also come in that place. Because sometimes when you think about alcohol, people will use kind of that idea to describe it this euphoric state. But really, this euphoric state is also not, not present, right. So there's, there's a euphoria, that's not actually experiencing what's happening in the world. It's like you need to leave the body to experience that. But my invitation is using the tools that I use with my clients, you can start to have these really deep states of peace, and catharsis and euphoria in the present moment, without having all of the repercussions of consuming alcohol. So how do you get to this place? And how do you know, when you're experiencing nostalgia or this idea of remembrance, it will feel different. The thought quality will either be in a fear based model where you'll be very confused, you're reaching for something, it feels like a big void kind of a hole. There's that sense of yearning. And when you experience this felt sense of remembrance, of who you are deeply that homecoming, there will be no question. It might be a newer experience, but you will know that it's real, there won't be a reaching for it, it'll be coming from the place of unconditional love, are in that place of unconditional love. There will be no need to alter or to change the specific experience that you're having or who you are. Because you will be appreciating it and accepting it for what it is. Now, it doesn't mean that you don't strive to change things. But the reason that you want to drink in the first place is because you think it will make you feel better, right? our intentions behind why we do things are always because we think it is going to produce a positive outcome. But from your experience, you know that it isn't long lasting. So there might be a short window of a positive outcome, which for you right now is simply lessening that poll of the urge, there's not a whole lot net positive gain. Really, if any, that you are Gaining from your relationship with alcohol right now. So what needs to happen is for you to see these two stark contrasts, and really just observe them in this place where you feel like you need to alter something, you're reaching for something that wasn't there where you're living in the past in a fear based model, or you experience that feeling of remembrance of not even something specific, but this homecoming to who you are, in a present moment experience, but it just brings you into the essence of you. Right? So, in when you're in that place, there is no need for alteration in drinking alcohol for long enough, that right now, there is a disconnect between your old thoughts about alcohol, making you happy. And the reality of it, because right now, the only reason that alcohol is creating any sort of quote unquote happiness is that it's simply just relieving. Now, what is an urge or a trigger? There's nothing really about the alcohol itself, that is enhancing your life. So next time you have a desire to drink, ask yourself why. Just simply see what what your objection is. See if it's in a fear based thought about nostalgia. And if it's, or if it's really coming from a deep place where you are connecting to the essence of who you are from a place of remembrance. And I know that the answer is, is that it won't be because when you are connecting in that place, there will never be a need for alteration, but it's very subtle. And because alcohol creates a great imbalance in the body. cognitively in a small amount of alcohol too, you could have one drink a day, or only be drinking maybe a lot once a week. But you are never fully balanced in a cognitive way in your body. So those subtle shifts that happen can often be overlooked, but they are the most profound experience. So from today forward, especially as you move through the holidays, and you can go back and listen to the next couple episodes. And then this one, to really understand the difference between a connection to this life to other people to yourself in a very intimate way. And where it's coming from a place of unconditional love and acceptance, and a remembrance, a deeper essence of that. And that connection that we have of being part of the integral whole, right? Rather than the alcohol that just creates more separation. So if you are drinking, that is taking up a lot of your cognitive load, right? You are thinking about drinking a lot, you are thinking about the after effects of when to get drinking. And there's a lot of your precious mental energy wrapped up in that. So shifting in to the subtleties of what it feels like when you're not drinking is going to be challenging. And that's why learning how to move through some cravings with ease so that you can be in the experience of living life fully is so important so that you can have this contrast. But the other thing to do until you're feeling like this is the right step for you. Which there's no better time than right this moment. Because we don't have so many more of the external obligations is to really look out where are you spending the rest of your cognitive energy and if you're spending a lot of time focusing your attention, outward on to other people's lives, the news, the social media, those are all going to take away from your ability to To look inward, to take the focus and shift it out what's going on in the internal landscape for you. So my suggestion would be to take some time and really commit to yourself to shutting down the external world to shutting down that repetitive news, repetitive stories and thoughts and feelings from other people, and start to step into that internal landscape of feeling that caught those contrasting emotions of the thoughts that are pulling you towards alcohol, those feelings of yearning and nostalgia. Rather than being in the present moment. You're really just stepping out and away from judgment and experiencing life. For what it is. Now you might say, wow, there's a lot of you know, stress and other things going on in my life that I just can't take my mind off of. But if you really decide to start to implement some of this work, you will be shocked to see where you so much of your your precious energy is getting pulled from, and then the things that you do have to deal with for your basic survival. You can start to manage from a place of responding with grace, from that place of confidence and compassion for yourself, for your life for your loved ones, we have so much pulling our attention that if you don't consciously manage it, it will take over what you need in your life to be using to be in this deeper place of sentiment with yourself. And sometimes you have to go really far to one direction to just cut everything else out. So that you can focus and get really clear about why you want to make this change and why it's important. Because it is important, it is the most important thing that you will ever, ever do in your life. If you are struggling with your relationship with alcohol right now, it will not change until you decide to do something different about it. Now, this doesn't have to be full of pain, it can actually be a deep sentiment full of ease and love and compassion. And it doesn't mean it will feel like butterflies and rainbows all the time. But it means that you will be coming home to yourself. So here are a few thoughts that I wrote down. About what do you know what do you know that is honest, because there's a lot of thoughts that you can think, Oh, I love alcohol, alcohol, it makes me happy. You know, alcohol relieves an urge. If alcohol made you happy, it would be for your highest self, from your highest self right? If alcohol was the key to the version of the best life, you would be living it if it was for your highest good when we're directed to things from that deep knowing if we ask ourselves truthfully identify the real struggle truthfully without judgment. You do know the answer. So when you're guided to something from your highest self for your highest self, it is for a reason and that is the essence of remembrance. So what do you know for sure, what is your deep unflinching, why? I am part of this earth. These are mine. I am never truly alone. I am enough as I am. I am a body worthy of basic needs. My body is a temple and my body is the vessel that carries my essence. My body is capable of Radiance and vitality and the better I treat Myself, the better my life becomes. A negative emotion can never hurt me, physically. And I am here to have the extra ordinary experience of being me. And this is what I want for you, I want you to have the extraordinary experience of being who you are fully and completely and uniquely, because you deserve it. And I am here to tell you that your thoughts around alcohol are what is making it much more challenging to change. So you don't have to believe it. 100%. But if you come up with some thoughts about what you know, it'll start to open up that essence of remembrance of who you are and what you deserve, and what your purpose is here, which is to be more uniquely who you are. I know how to help women and their love hate relationship to alcohol. I have taught hundreds of women all over the world how to do this. And I did it for myself when I once thought it was impossible. And the process is actually much easier than you think. But the hidden truth. And those hidden thoughts that are happening on repeat, the keep you stuck in the past have got to come out to the light. And that is the only way to really start to see an unravel this process. It is not in the saying no, it is not in the just not drinking that will keep you in deprivation, you slowly start to own and when new thoughts that come slowly start to eliminate the want of alcohol at all. And I know like sometimes that seems like a really big place. But deep inside of you. There is a part of you that wants this desire to just go away. And now you can drink less and still manage that and feel way better about your relationship with alcohol and manage your drinking. That is a very, very practical process. But I know the essence of who you are, wants to just not want this anymore. Because once the desire is gone, then the one drink a year doesn't matter or whatever it is. take this opportunity to dive a little bit deeper into yourself. It's a beautiful time of year to step into remembrance. Right? Who were you as a little girl? What would you tell her about this experience of alcohol? Start from that place? Have a wonderful week. And don't forget to go onto the show notes or my website Mary Wagstaff coach comm to schedule a time to talk to me and I will walk you step by step through those three simple shifts to overcome any urge or craving, I will talk to you soon. Have a great week. Hey, if you are loving this podcast then you are definitely ready for the next step. Schedule a call with me where I will teach you my three simple fail proof steps to overcoming any urge or craving that you can start applying to your life right now. It is absolutely free to you. All you need to do is find the scheduling link in the show notes or on my website. Mary Wagstaff coach.com I can't wait to connect