Boredom and Loneliness: How to process emotional cravings. Nothing has gone wrong! These are the two biggest emotions people try to solve with alcohol. Why? We think they are wrong and bad. You make them mean something is wrong with you. Emotions are not problems to be solved, they are experiences to have. What are you making it mean about you and how is that compounding your judgement? What if is was day dreaming and alone time? Same thing, different perspective.
What you will take away from today's show
If you are ready to stop waiting for change and ready to make it happen: Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE.
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Click Here To Join The Sustainable Sobriety Course Today.
YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM THE CYCLE OF STOPPING AND STARTING AND THE TRAP OF MODERATION,
BY EMBRACING A PATH THAT ALLOWS YOU TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT THE BURDEN OF COUNTING DAYS OR HIDING YOUR TRUE SELF.
Sustainable Sobriety Is Here! Keep the needle moving forward no matter if you do or don't drink.
Join Sustainable Sobriety Course, where you'll learn everything to find the confidence to be authentically you in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Boredom and Loneliness: How to process emotional cravings. Nothing has gone wrong! These are the two biggest emotions people try to solve with alcohol. Why? We think they are wrong and bad. You make them mean something is wrong with you. Emotions are not problems to be solved, they are experiences to have. What are you making it mean about you and how is that compounding your judgement? What if is was day dreaming and alone time? Same thing, different perspective.
What you will take away from today's show
If you are ready to stop waiting for change and ready to make it happen: Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE.
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Click Here To Join The Sustainable Sobriety Course Today.
YOU CAN BREAK FREE FROM THE CYCLE OF STOPPING AND STARTING AND THE TRAP OF MODERATION,
BY EMBRACING A PATH THAT ALLOWS YOU TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT THE BURDEN OF COUNTING DAYS OR HIDING YOUR TRUE SELF.
Sustainable Sobriety Is Here! Keep the needle moving forward no matter if you do or don't drink.
Join Sustainable Sobriety Course, where you'll learn everything to find the confidence to be authentically you in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help women just like you from around the world do the same with my one on one private coaching program. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking exciting and joyful, and the profound and sacred journey that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to your mental or physical health. Now on with the show. Welcome back my beautiful listeners. It's Mary Wagstaff. I hope you're having a beautiful, wonderful, amazing day. And I'm just so glad that you're here. I know I talked about this in the last episode, but we're almost getting to one full year. And so if you're new welcome, I would highly encourage you to go back and start listening to some of the first episodes, that's really the foundational framework of the podcast. And if you haven't yet, I would be so honored and thrilled if you could leave me a five star Apple review helps other people find the show. And when people find the show, they change their lives. And it's not because of me, it's because of we write my message and just this little glimpse of an alternate awareness is like day and night for people that didn't know it. So by by leaving that, then the ratings of the show get higher, but there's more and more people. And it's just so cool to see what an unconditional commitment can do for your life. Right, I started the show. And I don't know how long it took me to get like 100 downloads for one episode. But I knew that with consistency and showing up and creating good content that could serve people and it was actually valuable, not just kind of gossip, and actually about how you, you can step into control over changing your relationship with alcohol. And that that is the framework for not only changing the desire to drink, but how you're showing up in life in every other single way. It really is the foundational framework for a life of power, pleasure and purpose. And this doesn't mean only happiness all the time. But there is a satisfaction to processing your emotions. And this unconditional commitment is was something in this vein that I have struggled with, for for my entire life, not to alcohol, but to this show, I can could be out creating content in so many ways. But it was when I decided to do the podcast, it was what resonated with me the most. I don't do other social media platforms. And I knew it was a way that I could get the the type of you know, undivided attention and value that I wanted. But for myself, you know, it is a funnel towards my one on one coaching. But it's also for me, how I can be the Clear Channel for the information that wants to come through for me, as in service of the collective. So it has become such a rewarding venture, regardless if I work directly one on one with anyone, because I know that you're there. And I have people tell me all the time how they've created value from the show, and they're changing their lives. And it means so much to me to be here and just humbled service of you know what I have to offer. So I know your time and attention is your most valuable commodity. And so I just wanted to say thank you honestly from the bottom of my heart for being here for showing up for yourself for showing up. As you know, for the collective I really believe that this work is just kind of one facet of changing how we're really showing up in the world in a new way, leading from the feminine from embracing our emotional selves and really honoring that. So thank you, thank you. And as always, you I would love to hear from you if you ever have any questions or comments for the show and I leave how to contact me in the show notes and all of the other good stuff in there. So make sure to check it out. And of course share this with others. a loved one, or someone that you might know needs the support. Today we're going to talk about boredom and loneliness, and how to process emotional cravings of alcohol. So getting to the point where you're having physical withdrawal symptoms is something that that people have. But it is that's a pretty serious process. So that's something that you would do like a detox with under supervision of someone. So most people have developed a habit and addiction, more in the mental and emotional self. Now, it does affect you in a physical way, you know that it's affecting your sleep, it is affecting your digestion, it's affecting all of these things. But if you were to stop drinking tomorrow, it wouldn't be dangerous. So I do like to, you know, point out that caveat that, yes, the tools for changing and growing awareness of this show can definitely help you no matter where you are in your relationship with alcohol. But emotional and mental cravings are, are different than physical withdrawal symptoms. So I just kind of wanted to put that caveat out there. But boredom and loneliness are the two emotions, I would say, that kind of go hand in hand with one another. But that I hear as, as, as an excuse often for why it's so challenging for people to change their relationship to alcohol. So in the evening, you don't with or without other people in your house. You're not actually changing the the circumstances of what's happening. You by drinking and feeling bored or lonely, you are just numbing or avoiding the emotion that you're feeling. So nothing is actually changing in your circumstances, you are using the alcohol as a way to not feel or to, to change the process of what that the thought process of what that emotion is now creating for you, right? So. So there's a couple of things that are happening here. You're judging boredom and loneliness as a negative thing. These are negative emotions, so you're judging them as bad, which is creating a vibration in your body that you haven't practiced, fully processing. So what's happening is you're making these things mean something about you, you are having this feeling. Or say you're just literally sitting in your room, in your home, and nothing is happening, right? No one's there. Nothing's happening. You get home from work. Now what? Right? So this is kind of this is the thought, now what? Where is everyone? What do I do? My world feels small, there's nothing to do. So when you start to think these thoughts, they don't generate feel good emotions. Now people sit in their rooms, by themselves in silence, all the time and experience bliss, joy and pleasure through the practice of meditation, non judgmental awareness, experiencing actual presence coming to your senses. Right? So you can see how depending on the circumstances, what your thoughts are about it can create different emotions. Now, being bored isn't necessarily a bad thing. There's actually been a lot of studies done, where kind of like daydreaming and boredom is actually really useful for the creative process. That way, if we don't let ourselves get bored, and we're just always stimulating our brain with the next thing, then we never get our give ourselves, our mind a chance to rest. And to start to seek out new ideas, creative ideas that are sparked through that process of kind of daydreaming or contemplation is a really lost art. And that's something that I'm going to talk to you about today. So that's the first thing is that you're disappointing yourself by thinking that these things are bad about what you're making them mean about you. And then there's this other Part of it, that we've been led to believe, probably through marketing, that life is supposed to be like this a wild party all the time, right? That it's supposed to be a celebration and amusement park and all of these things, when really what we do as humans is we survive, we reproduce, we create music, we make love, we cook, we grow our own food, we gaze at the stars. And we sleep, and we rest. And sometimes there's a party and we tell jokes, and we laugh, right. But we have been given all of these things, to keep the mind occupied all of the time. And so now we have this expectation builds, like into our DNA now. And this is something I'm really trying to teach my son, he'll come up to me and say, Well, what do I do now? What do I do, like if I'm doing something else, and I'm like, go be bored. Like, seriously, just go be bored, I'm not going to just hand him a screen, so that he's occupied in that way, go stare at the clouds, and just experience yourself being right. So we have this this story where I don't know where it really came from, that there is this thrill ride of life. Now, of course, you can have the perspective that every waking moment of breathing of your next breath is thrilling, but it is this process of slowing down. And we have really been in this place where we move faster than the pulse of life. And that life is supposed to be this wild festival all the time. But if it was that, then we wouldn't be able to have the contrast, right. So if we're always expecting this wild festival, and we don't have that, then something's wrong with us. But if we can see that and have something to look forward to around holiday seasons, or parties or summertime, then we can have a little bit more of that upbeat energy during that time, instead of having this unrealistic expectation that life is supposed to be at the pulse faster than the heartbeat. And then with loneliness, we are humans, our species of community, family, tribe, socialized animals. However, we look to the other to find meaning and validation in our life. And we do have this reflection, right, like looking into the pond or into the mirror and seeing our own existence. But because we have evolved as a species, we know we exist, we see the other we have social media and all those things, that the contemplate of piece of it is forming that relationship with yourself. What is it like to have a relationship with you? And can you seek that comfort and camaraderie inside by getting to know yourself, there is this Billy Eilish song called my future I it's like, the best I would highly recommend it and it's gorgeous. And she's got a beautiful voice. But she says, I know supposedly, I'm lonely. Now I know. I'm supposed to be unhappy without someone. But aren't I someone and she's taking this, you know, like, radical stance of, I'm good. Like, I'm good by myself. Like, I don't need anybody right now. I just want to get to know myself. And this is one of the tricky parts about alcohol because so many people liken it to this companion or this best friend. Alcohol has never been your friend or your enemy or anything like that. It just sits there. It's just an illusion. You had some good times drinking it maybe with other people. But you know, now it's not serving you. So you have to be able to start to confront the story of how you're really viewing alcohol again from that non judgmental place. And you have to see what are my thoughts that are creating the emotions that are making it seem like it's wrong And so you're compounding the emotions of boredom and loneliness, with shame and blame and unworthiness, rather than seeing what does boredom feel like? What does a loneliness actually feel? Like? Am I really lonely? So the underlying implications of loneliness and boredom is really fear. The underlying implications of really a lot of negative emotion is fear that something has gone wrong fear of survival, based on our most primitive parts of our brain, if we're alone, then we're not in, right. And I have this dance teacher who says, You were in since the day you were born, you've always been in, it's all you need to do is show up and claim it. Right? No one's out. How can you be out? You're in just because someone else isn't there reflecting that back to you. There is no validation that anyone can give you that will have more long lasting implications than the one you can give yourself. So this process of changing your relationship to alcohol, is you deciding that you're enough. And when you start to change the vibration of what you're thinking and how you're feeling and your emotions, and you start to accept your emotions as a part of your humaneness. And then you start to say yes to different things, you start to create emotions that inspire you into action to make commitments to something to keep showing up, even if you don't feel like it. Hence, then changing the boredom and the loneliness, right. So right now you're in this habitual cycle. And if you don't stop to try to check out and knock on a new door, you can't walk through it, right? So you have to stop long enough to see what's actually going on, stop leaving it up to circumstance to run your life, and choose something different. We live in this world where there is infinite possibilities. Anyone can be famous, anyone can be a writer, anyone can be a musician, anyone can like, do anything. I mean, it's crazy. To me, sometimes I think about how, one one of the things that always, you know, when I don't feel like showing up to record a show or whatever, I just stop and pause and think how freaking cool is this, that I have this platform where I can reach people across the world with my words and connect to them in this really beautiful, meaningful way. So the idea is that boredom and loneliness is, first of all, a bad thing is an optional thought and optional judgment. Then there's the expectation that you have that's really high, or the story that you've bought into that things are supposed to look different, you know, really examining that, who is who is saying, Now, who else is living that life, even the most famous people just go home and hang out, right? It's not a party all the time, and especially right now during quarantine. And what an amazing opportunity during this quiet time. And yes, we do need connection. But to get to connect to yourself, I have done so much introspection and I have had highs and lows. And I have been connecting on zoom with people and it does make a difference. And you can be doing socially distant things and out in having hikes and engagements or coffee dates with people. There are things going on meetup.com. Eventbrite, break. daybreaker. I'll link my favorite dance. There's ecstatic dances all over the world live yoga, like, there is stuff happening. My sober girlfriends, which is a really cool friendship community. The the founder, Naomi wiig was on the episode, so I'll make sure and link that too. So there is stuff happening. So you have to say yes to something new. And you have to stop thinking something has gone wrong. Because that's not true. You're creating hypothetical scenarios about what this should look like, right? And the other thing is like you can get excited about boredom. We're always waiting. And one of the reasons that we drink right is because we think, too, that Oh, if, if then someday, then I can relax, right? So until then I'm just going to drink to have that illusion of real taxation until I have, you know, a family and this house and this job and this vacation, then I'm going to feel better enough, and I won't need the alcohol. And that's an illusion too, because that comes with its own set of new beliefs, new circumstances, new thoughts, new feelings that you're going to have to process. But like being bored, actually gives you the opportunity for real conscious relaxation, that can have long lasting implications. I always say, if you're going to just say it's about the taste of alcohol, have a glass of grape juice and take a nap, it's going to give you the same result, right? And so I mean, literally, like naps are the best thing ever. If you're not doing them, like you should totally do them. And then you won't be bored, you'll just be feeling better. restorative yoga, yin yoga, I mean, there are just a million things to do. But it doesn't start in the action. It has to start from your thoughts, you have to start evaluating, what are your thoughts about boredom and loneliness? Are you comparing yourself? Are you making it mean something bad about you and your life. And so you don't want to feel that way. You don't want to feel like there's something wrong with you. And now, these these thoughts about boredom and loneliness, and those emotions, those are now the trigger for you to drink, right? So what you can do is interrupt the trigger a by just feeling your emotions and allowing them which I'll talk about. Or you can reroute the trigger, right. So instead of going directly from your transition from A to B, where you feel where you end up, be as bored and lonely. You can decide ahead of time, I'm going to get excited about the opportunity that I have all of this time in the evening. And I'm going to choose something new. So you pre plan. I do this all the time I schedule things out that I am not even prepared for. And I just put them on the calendar and I say yes to them. And then I know I have to show up. So you do that. So then you reroute that. And then you know the evening is gone. And that that opportunity for that trigger to be really strong has been rerouted. And then you start to create evidence for the contrary, that yes, I can find a fun evening, I can experience connection to myself through a writing class. You know, their skill share. I mean, I could just go on and on and on. You have to say yes to a new way. But it has to start in your thoughts. You have to believe in possibility. So a lot of people kind of have their like morning routine, the more they do, you know, movement and exercise. And by the night, it's like they're drinking coffee and yoga in the morning. This was me. And then by evening, it was like wine time, right? Or who knows before then. So one of my big things was I started saying yes to things in the evening. And there was resistance to it for sure. But I knew there were things I wanted to do. And you've heard me talk about hula hoop. I said yes to hula hoop. And I didn't want to be at hula hoop, you know, drinking and by the time I went and came back and this wasn't immediate. But my I had interrupted that trigger response I had interrupted that time when that trigger would happen. And then I started to question my thoughts. And I knew I had so many interests. And I started to transfer my desire for alcohol. And this is what I teach my clients transfer your desire for alcohol into something that will create value in your life. So you actually start to feel the effects of a new way. And I talked about this in the last episode, the value of alcohol is actually a deficit. Right. And that's why you feel worse the next day, but there's still this illusion that there's a meaning in it, because of the story and the habit that's been created. So you should go back and listen to that episode. But you have to start transferring this desire that you have for connection. And you know, freedom and relaxation that you think is happening kind of with alcohol, but you're really starting to catch on, which is why you're here. You have to transfer that into something else. You have a list of things that you continuously tell yourself you don't have the time and the money for but you always seem to be able to find the time and the money for drinking. Right. I know that was that was my thing. I would think you know, oh my gosh, how could I spend this much money on a class Or, you know, whatever self self help thing self development now I have a completely different perspective of it. But go you go out in a night and you spend$100, or more whatever on food and drinks and stuff that literally will never, it's just gone, right? So I started transferring my desire into things I didn't even really need money for projects I've been working on are spending time in my garden, actually engaging with my all of my senses with my family, playing games, enjoying like the, the process and the ritual of tea. And there's just so much out there. So we'll see to check yourself and make a list of all of the things and like, you know, you know, best you can be honest with yourself, you will find excuses of why you don't have the time and the money. But think about the things that just happen in life, right? When you have a baby or a new relationship, or there's an illness, or, you know, whatever it is, we figure it out, or you have to take your car to get a tire or like a new tire oil change, like, you figure it out, because we're resourceful as humans. But when it comes to change, the brain doesn't want to change. So it's going to throw out all the excuses of why it's not gonna work. But you have to be on to yourself, what is the result? I want? Am I willing to step 100% into taking personal responsibility and an unconditional commitment to changing this relationship to alcohol? Or do I want to be in the spiral four ever, because you know, there's only one way, the one way is that the habit becomes stronger, with frequency and duration, and the results that it creates become worse. And it becomes harder and harder to change the habit. Because it becomes stronger and stronger. So think about it in 12 months from now, if you turned around and you were still having this conversation, how would you feel, or in 12 months from now you turned around, and alcohol was no longer in your way. And you were throwing the best party of your life by yourself, like having a frickin blast. And you had all these options of things to do and you are going to bed and you're waking up and you felt vibrant and healthy. And you were having an amazing night's sleep and you're eating better, you really taking really good care of yourself. And when you're bored, you're like, I'm going to read a book and take a nap, right. And I have all of these same objections. And my clients have all of these same objections, but you got to slow it down, you have to really look at it, bring it from the subconscious into the light, and just simply start to see alcohol for what it is, which is a drink a beverage that creates a dissociate dissociation with your body. And it numbs your emotions. And it takes a big toll on your endocrine system, which are your hormones. And it also wreaks havoc in your nervous system. And it's not like looking at it as this as this forbidden fruit. But you really do need to look at the facts of it. So it has this illusion of a relax it but it's not doing doing that at all. And in fact, it's actually creating more blood flow, it's creating this fire element in your body. So you just have to see like, what's the what's up? What am I going for, right? So the three shift process to shift from resistance and avoiding your emotions. and allowing and compassion are as follows. And there's an audio meditation on my website, if you sign up for there'll be a prompt when you go on to the website, Mary Wagstaff, Coach calm it'll take you to the master class and also to this an audio meditation of this. So first, you need to just understand what are your normal everyday triggers, the times and the circumstances when you drink? Like know what those are? Because you want to expect them. So you want to plan ahead of time. And then what are what are the reasons why what are your objections? What are your excuses, I need to relax, I'm bored, right? Like pull out all of the thoughts. And don't censor them. Just be really honest with yourself, you cannot make this change. If you stand in righteousness, you're only doing a disservice to yourself. And so then you have to how to interrupt the craving. And this is the part that usually is happening so fast in the subconscious. Or you might be in that like back and forth. Like I said, I wasn't going to but I'm going to I said it wasn't going to but I want to, you know that back and forth place. So it looks like it's just like one thing, but you have to become aware and break down what's happening and recognize in fact, first that you actually are having an urge or craving so you have to just say it out loud. I'm actually having a craving right there's like this thing that's like name it to tame it. So when you say something out loud when you're having an emotional response so you don't let it take take you away, and you can stay in control of that. You just say, what is the specific trigger? It's five o'clock, I'm home, and I'm feeling bored and lonely. Or I just talked to my mother. And she really irritated me, whatever. So get curious, what is the thought? And it could just be as simple as I'm bored. Right? So the specific thought, and then you have to start to be compassionate. What is the motion that this is now created? Now that you're bored? Now you have a new thought about what that is. And now it's the another emotion. So it could be now I'm bored, and now I'm lonely, right? And then what are the sensations happening in your body? So you have to become aware, you actually have to recognize it, you get curious, what is the thought, and then you have to be compassionate about that, that you're actually having an emotional response you are a human being. And then this is where you stop, you interrupt. And this is where you can grow with grace. So you see this happening, I'm having an emotion, I'm going to pause to try to do a new way. And this is where you would follow the the process that I have outlined in this audio meditation, where you would actually allow an emotion, allow the craving. So instead of pushing the beach ball underwater, which is the emotion, the beach balls, the emotion or throwing it out of the pool, and avoiding and pretending like it's not there, and just like still doing your laps, you just sit back in your lounge chair, and you watch the ball, which is the emotion flow around the pool. Now, it might not be as relaxing in that there might be some more waves in there, but you have to relax. Okay, so you have to breathe. And you're so capable of this, you breathe in your sleep, like you don't even need to think about it. So you have to consciously breathe, and the audio meditation, you don't even have to think about it. So listen to it several times before this happens. And then you will know the process. So you will know it by yourself. And you can just have it on your phone with you when this happens. But do yourself the favor of planning ahead of time knowing this is going to happen. Choosing to rewrite the path by choosing a different way, knowing there are other options for me, I mean, that's a great thought. What is the result that I want to create? Is this drink actually creating more excitement, or just numbing the feeling of boredom and loneliness? Right. And I mean, that is what it's doing. Unless, you know, if you start drinking, and then you start having like a dance party, well, then you can try to do that on your own without the alcohol and see what happens there. Chances are, I can pretty much guarantee this 100% that if you turn on music and start dancing, rather than drinking, you're going to feel better. And then your brain will have gotten off of that train, and you can then choose to do something different. So there are so many options out there, you have to stop limiting yourself because of the past because of the habit because it's the easy way. You have to try to do something new. If you want to change this relationship to alcohol. It's not hard, but it doesn't happen overnight. And consistency is a key. So if you listen to my New Year's episode, I talked about the emphasis of commitment versus quitting, right? You first commit to showing up for yourself, you first commit to not quitting on yourself. you commit to the process because we know anything's possible. Even when you're failing, even when you drink and you evaluate and that's the beauty of one on one coaching. That is what my clients get to do with me they get to show up and not quit and evaluate plan ahead of time, evaluate the process of quote unquote setback and then also examine the successes they're having measure their results. How is today different than yesterday? What was the new awareness I gained today? Now that I'm stepping in that place of the observer? How do they offer myself compassion? What emotion Have I been terrified to feel that I actually felt and found some huge relief and I actually created space in my body to you know, through crying through emotional processing through feeling an urge actually created some space to invite joy weigh in, right? When we keep pushing and shoving down emotions holding that beach ball underwater, we get we're like clogged up energetically inside, we don't have the capacity to experience more emotion, to have to process emotion to let more joy and love in. And the thing that alcohol has done to you for so long is that it has created a false sense of short term pleasure. So your ability on a chemical level to experience true joy is harder now because of the imbalance of the chemicals in the body. But it's possible and when it's real, and, and, and you, you know, it's like, again, it's not always an amusement park ride, unless you're my partner Matthew, who just got his paragliding license and got a paraglider. And he went all in, he went quarantine him, it was on his bucket list. And he's like, you know what, I'm not waiting anymore. And he asked for my support. And he created the time to do it, and he got the money to do it. And I want to give him a shout out and so much so much props, because that's friggin awesome. And I went to go see him have his like maiden voyage off of the dunes and on the Oregon coast, and it was like having your own amusement park ride, it was so cool. And so yeah, you got to stop making excuses. You know, we have this, this idea in our culture, too, that like invest like debt is a bad thing. But when you put value into something that's going to expedite your internal resources, you triple that you double that there is there when you really show up for your investment. If you you know, use a credit card or whatever, it will expedite the the resiliency that you have inside of you. And so it has this ripple effect of the results in your life. And it's amazing, you just start to blow your own mind. But you have to show up to do the work. And you know, nothing is given freely in that in that way. You can, you can sit here, you can just do the thing. But if you want to solve for this problem of alcohol, you can't be expectant of the results. Right? You you just you have to show up to rewrite the habit, you got into this habit, and you'll just show up to rewrite it. But I believe in you because you're amazing. And because you have a human brain and you're an empowered, beautiful woman who has emotions that are meant to be felt. And you are here you're listening, you want change, there is a woman inside of you your higher self that is ready to make this change. She knows what it's like a life is like with alcohol with alcohol. What's it like without it, and that boredom and that loneliness. When you start to have the new awareness about alcohol, you start to shift your perspective about how you're looking at everything, and everything becomes brighter, and things don't seem so daunting or so terrible. And you start to choose the header or where you're placing your attention with your intention. My intention is that I want to create high vibes in my life. So I'm not going to spend two hours in the evening scrolling Instagram, because I want to I want to generate the creation, right? I want to paint a picture for myself and hang it up on my wall, create a vision board, write a story, learn the ukulele, whatever it is, you can do that. Thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to talk to you soon. Have an amazing week. Hey, if you're loving this podcast, you are definitely ready for the next step. I would love to invite you to learn my three shifts process to interrupt any craving and get you started on your journey to finding freedom from alcohol. All you need to do is click the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com to schedule a private call with me. You will leave the call with the tools for success and feeling competent and excited about entering into your new phase of life and it's completely free to you. I look forward to connecting