WE DID IT!!! One Year Of Stop Drinking and Start Living Podcast! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't have done it without your support.
On today's episode I speak to all of the beliefs I had to learn, unlearn and my willingness to be wrong to create a successful business and consistent podcast with my heart at the center.
How my authenticity is really what has driven not only the success of the show, but what has made if fun, enjoyable and an act of true service to the world.
And how NONE of it would have been possible had I not been living an Alcohol Free Life.
I speak to the necessity of trusting your intuition. Staying true to who you are uniquely, and how everything you truly desire is available to you now and on the other side of the habit of alcohol.
It is a moment to reflect on my personal achievements and my humbled honor of being called to do this work. I hope today's show is an example of what's possible when you Stop Drinking and Start Living!
As a big THANK YOU for being part of my journey, I made you a special gift to love yourself more: Click HERE for instant access to the Compassion guided audio track.
If you don't know it: You are amazing and I LOVE YOU!
If you are ready to stop waiting for change and ready to make it happen: Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE.
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
WE DID IT!!! One Year Of Stop Drinking and Start Living Podcast! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I couldn't have done it without your support.
On today's episode I speak to all of the beliefs I had to learn, unlearn and my willingness to be wrong to create a successful business and consistent podcast with my heart at the center.
How my authenticity is really what has driven not only the success of the show, but what has made if fun, enjoyable and an act of true service to the world.
And how NONE of it would have been possible had I not been living an Alcohol Free Life.
I speak to the necessity of trusting your intuition. Staying true to who you are uniquely, and how everything you truly desire is available to you now and on the other side of the habit of alcohol.
It is a moment to reflect on my personal achievements and my humbled honor of being called to do this work. I hope today's show is an example of what's possible when you Stop Drinking and Start Living!
As a big THANK YOU for being part of my journey, I made you a special gift to love yourself more: Click HERE for instant access to the Compassion guided audio track.
If you don't know it: You are amazing and I LOVE YOU!
If you are ready to stop waiting for change and ready to make it happen: Schedule a complimentary alignment session HERE.
Thank you for heading to Apple Podcast To Drop a 5 Star Review and What You LOVE about the show! Your presence means so much to me.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Transform your relationship with alcohol by focusing on yourself. Discover how to fulfill your needs without alcohol's help. Understand your body's signals, leverage your emotions, and expand your desires for real, lasting pleasure.
Join "The Naturally Sober Woman" self-study course, where you'll learn everything I teach my clients in a compact, affordable, lifetime access package.
Welcome, welcome. My name is Mary Wagstaff. I am a holistic alcohol coach who ended a 20 year relationship to alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses. Now I help women just like you from around the world do the same with my one on one private coaching program. In this podcast, we will explore my revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools that make not drinking exciting and joyful and profound and sacred journey that it is to rediscover who you are on the other side of alcohol. The show is not a substitution for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. So please talk to a medical professional if your alcohol consumption is at risk to your mental or physical health. Now on with the show. We're having a party today with cardi one year stop drinking and start living podcast we're celebrating today we're celebrating me we're celebrating you. Yeah, I just wanted to start with a little upbeat bump. Oh my gosh, you guys, can you believe it? You lovely ladies, welcome to the show my beautiful listeners. It's Mary Wagstaff. If you've been here from the beginning, you know who you are. If you are just new today. Welcome. Thank you so much. I am a woman's holistic alcohol coach. And we're celebrating the one year anniversary of the podcast, I can't frickin believe it. And we're going strong for a second year. So today I wanted to talk about what I have learned from a year of podcasting, and how alcohol free living has really helped me take my life next level and for being an honored guest of this show. And an integral part of the show's success, your success, my success, and a blessed happy life. And you know, something to engage in during this this time of quarantine this, you know, this most really auspicious time in history, I made you a special gift. And you don't even need to give me your email address or anything, it will be amazing if you would leave me a five star review, and subscribe on Apple podcasts. But I will leave the link in the show notes, you just go to my website and click on a box. And it's a beautiful meditation of loving kindness. And it's a great way to love yourself more to find some healing and peace in the heart. And it's a practice I've been doing recently a lot. And it's also a great tool for kind of eliminating that day after shame and regret where you can really step into a place of non judgmental awareness from compassion and inspiration and self love and curiosity which is really all of the cornerstones of the the one on one coaching work that I do. So that is a gift for you. And thank you so much for being here. I honestly am just really proud of myself. One of the things that I have worked on especially since I've been alcohol free, is commitment is not quitting on myself and giving myself an opportunity to fail a lot giving myself an opportunity to suck at things. And, you know, we want we kind of live in this culture of instant gratification, hence the alcohol and the shift in you know, always wanting the emotions to be uplifted. And really what happens is we're just, we're just numbing and prolonging the inevitable. So, you know, it took a while for the podcast to get some traction. But I knew I just you know, with, with consistency for anything. Anything's possible. You have to be willing to fail a lot. And you have to be willing to continue to show up even when no one's listening, and no one's paying attention. And belief and intention are the two most important things that I really think create and manifest like what was my intention for the show. And when I was kind of trying to do it, like other people are not listening to my intuition. Things didn't feel as fun and I didn't get as much engagement and they were choppier. And that's really some of the stuff that I've learned from a year of podcasting is that I really don't need a third party to tell me how to do anything, especially connect with the divine. I don't have to run my coaching business. Like anyone else, and the more unique my product is my services, my messages and the more it comes from my, the unique expression of who I am, the, the better it is, the more people engage with it. And then the more I actually engage with what I would say, you know, quote, unquote, my ideal audience, you know, the people that resonate with me and my message are, they're going to be the people that we have better success and more fun working together. And it's amazing, because my clients are such a wide range of different individuals, and they're just so beautiful. I'm so proud of them. I, I, I'm sure you've heard me say this before, but I just couldn't be more honored to have been called to do this work. And it really, it really as a as a Clear Channel without alcohol was the work that had to come through me and probably more of the work that I'm here to do, then what I would have necessarily chosen for the fun, fancy free expression that I would want to have taken and you know, everything's possible, but now that I'm doing it, stepping into this more, as a businesswoman, and as an entrepreneur, and that's kind of something that will probably take shape, more of this coming year of really getting organized in a in a business sense, more projections and goals. It's really, really helped me develop a different identity in that way of something that, you know, when I was drinking all the time, I had kind of a more of an in mature, just like juvenile approach. And I think you can be fun, have fun and be, you know, have that childlike wonder and awe of life always. But step into emotional adulthood and, and, and maturity. And be willing to know that there's no one right way to be a successful business person or an entrepreneur. But taking it you know, seriously, and I really do take this work very serious it is. It is something that is changing the world, not just the coaching that I do, but coaching in general. And, of course, spirituality, mindfulness, and that just the sober and alcohol free movement in general. So shout out and props to all of the amazing people out there that are that are doing the work from their heart, and showing up to help other people to empower other people to be their own best hero and heroine of their own lives. Because that's really what coaching is, it's not about advice, good coaching, isn't saying do it my way. Good coaching is saying what, how do you want to do it and to drop the story that there's any other way that it needs to be done? Right, and that you can do it authentically you and have exactly the success that you want. You just have to believe that it's possible and be willing to feel the emotions, the scary emotions of fear and failure. I mean, literally, I just hit record. And I started going and I have gotten better, I think, you know, the quality of the show has gotten better, and my message has gotten better. But I continue to, to show up with what's present for me, and not really looking so much at the collective story of what everyone else is talking about. If you know me, you know that I'm not on social media. I mean, I'm on there, but I don't hang out there. And I guess podcasting is social media. But I one of the things that I said earlier on, you know, when quarantine hit was, this has to be enough, because I was taking care of me. And that the podcast and one email a week that was my that was my stipulation, the podcast and one email a week had to be enough to engage with an audience and so the podcast had to have quality, it had to have value that people could actually start applying to their lives and take away from and that belief blew me out of the frickin water. Because I've grown my business to have you know, I'm a full time client load and, and to develop my program and it's been amazing and I'm and I just encourage you to trust that what you want and how you're spending your time is so important, much more important than how much time you have. And there are high value ticket actions and ones that don't generate results. You know, we can keep ourselves busy all day long and feel accomplished at the end of the day. But it doesn't especially as an entrepreneur, if you're not engaging with people and quality content, you know, then it's not gonna it's not gonna get you too far. I know people with a really big Instagram followings that, you know, aren't making any money. And so you know, there's kind of this, this facade about social media. And that is one of the other things that I've learned this year is that you don't have to be on social media to be successful, because it's just not my thing. I don't enjoy it. And I, you know, I, I go out there sometimes, and sometimes I post the podcast, but sometimes I don't have time for it, and it just doesn't fit into my schedule. It's not something that adds more value to my life personally. So I do find out about fun music, you know, things on there, and I do like seeing what some of my friends are up to, but I just say my thing, and that's okay. So a year ago, I wrote myself a letter and I just found it I have completely forgot I wrote it. So I'm going to write myself another one for next year. And it's so cute. It says to my BFF you, Mary Margaret Wagstaff, look at you glow. And I won't read you the whole letter. But I'll read you the inside of the card. What is your heart's truest desire to feel like an expert to make a sustainable business that has follow through to grow my awareness to be an example of what's possible for me to love big. And this was written just before I started the podcast, it was 217 and the podcast first aired on I think 221 20 Thank you for not giving up on your dreams. Look at how mind and heart combined can make magic You are beautiful. And this life is something else, it will be revealed if you stay open. Today's thought two K is possible today. It is true. And this is x Oh Mary, your number one fan. So that thought two K is possible today is my business coach Stacey Bateman. And the two k program that she runs. And really, she the whole program that I'm still engaged in working on has blown blown my life about what's possible for business. And the real way to engage with an audience and to just meet people and create value for them in their lives. And that a pretty website doesn't mean nearly as much as you know, personal interaction. And helping people, even if it has nothing to do with alcohol, but really genuinely being present for people is what's going to leave such a bigger impression and generate, you know, more lasting and sustainable relationships, which is ultimately you know, where you want to go in business is referral based business is the best advertising you can get. And so that's been a little challenging, you know, during quarantine has to engage. But that's why I had to really drop the story about what the podcast needed to look like and just dive into my heart. So that as I was talking to you, all my beautiful listeners, and I tried to kind of visualize you all, you know, you can get a sense of who I was, and it wasn't scripted, and just answering questions that I thought you wanted to hear it was it was from my real lived experience from my clients experience. And then of course, offering personal stories that I think these heartfelt stories of these women who are brave enough to come on the show and share their story really added so much value to the show. And, you know, we want to know that, you know, we are reflections of one another. And that was something else I learned. So I'm going to kind of go through a list of what I've learned from a year of podcasting. And I hope it resonates and inspires you to show up for your life and you know, in whatever way you want to next level your life. And if you're listening to this show, I would encourage you that getting alcohol out of your way is really the doorway to creating anything you want in your life, it is the first step to change. Once you do that, and you do it in a way that creates a deprivation, free living. Anything's possible and you start to be so shocked at the illusion, the illusions that we live in. And so for me next level living really means about stepping more into a five D reality that so much of the belief in the story and of the way that I that we live by is very thin, it's very paper thin, it's just a collective, it's just a collective story. That is the 3d that's kind of like this walking, living, you know, go to school pay for medical treatment, you know, politicking and social media that we've all kind of agreed upon. And this is all without judgment, there's no good or bad but the the five D living is really where you step into surrender and to find more freedom, you know, stop to let go of the worry of what what in the end doesn't really matter. So you can really play and have a lot more fun with life and one of the things I've been saying lately This year, as long as my basic needs are met, everything else is a bonus. And so I can, I'm fortunate and I do have privilege that, you know, I can kind of play with, with my business right now. And but because I've stepped into that place of the what, you know, just focusing on the what I've been really able to surrender to the how, and really seeing beyond that, that we are all connected, and that we are all one. And everything is source creation. So when I just trust that no matter what I do, I'm still loved, and I'm still worthy. And I am, you know, a child of creative source. You know, I believe that my mission in life has was already accomplished, the day I was born. And now all I need to do is just become a more fuller expression of myself. So really, really, truly trusting that there's nothing I can do that's wrong, there's no wrong decision that I can make. So being of service, in this way on the podcast, because I haven't been able to be out, you know, volunteering, I also run my sister circle. This is a collaborative effort. But that's really the doorway to satisfaction when we step out of our own heads, and we step into the heart to give unconditionally. And that's really what the podcast means to me. It is also my funnel for my business, it is how I engage with my audience and, and get, you know, people that call me we do you know, our alignment session. And I have gotten clients from here, but I've also had so many people that I know that I've stopped drinking from listening to the podcast. And so if I helped only ever one person with the show, it was worth it. And I would still continue to do it forever, you know, for as long as it makes sense. But I'm signing up for another year. So you guys have another full year of me. I am a reflection of all of those who hear me and they are a reflection of me. When I started the show, you know, there was a lot of outside influence of how should I do this? What should I talk about, I have my favorite, you know, had my favorite podcasts that changed my life. And I had kind of backed away from, you know, the spirituality aspect of it. But I mean, that's literally how I changed my relationship with alcohol was to dive into the divine feminine, so I couldn't leave that part of it out. And the more I've become more authentically me on the show, the more I you know, I think it's reflected in other people and what they want to hear and see. And I'm part of a global sisterhood that has, you know, I don't even know, she's got 100,000 on Instagram, and we have like 25 or 30,000 in the Facebook community, the goddess rising sisterhood. And so that is, you know, I know that there's women empowered, beautiful, successful women out there struggling with alcohol, that want to live from a place of spirit. And then like, the more I was seeing what the sober movement really is. That is that the paradigm shift isn't so much. Yes, there is addiction. And there's a spectrum of that. But so much of the sober movement is really choosing life and presence, over alteration. And that's going to become the obvious choice in the future. And this is just the beginning of that that's that not drinking will be will eventually be what what people do that drinking, you know, just like not smoking will won't drinking won't make sense anymore, and it won't be a thing. And you know, not it's not a shameful thing. alcohols neutral, it just sits there. But the question is like, Is it necessary? I mean, it's not necessary, but never was. So that, that that piece of it was that really trusting that I am a reflection of the listeners of you, and you are a reflection of me. And there's a little bit of if we really are one I mean, we are kind of like one pulsing giant entity here on this planet, all of our energy affects each other, then yes, of course, I could reflect and express myself more uniquely. And that's what I needed to do for the podcast to be successful. And so thinking that you can do anything better than just you is an illusion because you can't be anyone better than yourself. And that's what you know, we're all trying to do and that's what creates so much suffering as we try to be more like something else then we're not and It really takes. That's why the journey of rediscovering who you are outside of alcohol is the process of meeting yourself for the first time alcohol free. And it's an amazing, amazing experience. perfectionism is the killer of dreams. Oh my gosh, I remember, a friend of mine said, Oh my god, I think a podcast sounds amazing. But it sounds like so much work. And I said, if you're a perfectionist it is. And I'm not. And so thankfully, I was able to just hit record and go, and sometimes I edit as I'm sure you know, sometimes I edit as I'm recording, because I just don't have a ton of time I made my own intro, I've done every single thing on my own. And what's more important to me is that the content gets gets out there, and you're inspired. And perfectionism really just puts off your dreams. And when you take massive action, and you actually take action is when you fail, and you can learn from that, right? It's kind of your tuition. But if you wait to actually take action, then you never get to learn and you never can troubleshoot, you never can evaluate. And that is, you know, leads me to something else that I learned about a year from podcasting, people think a lot less about me than I think they do. And you know, once you've listened to this, just like scrolling through Instagram, it's just like, you forget the first thing you saw, when you pop down there, once you listen to this, hopefully a lot of it is resonating with you, and you're taking it into your day. But people we are in our own heads, right? You listen to this, and you might be like, Oh, that was weird, or something in the moment, but it's not like anyone's carrying this around at home at night thinking, you know, Oh, God, why is she doing it like that? And if they are, then that's their problem, right? Like, I'm the people that love me are gonna love me and all my imperfections and the way that I'm presenting the show, and, you know, so on and so forth. So, when we sit in these stories of, you know, especially from alcohol, what did we do the night before shame and regret, seriously, let it go. Because people are on to their own shame and regret. And no one cares, when you stop drinking, most of the time, all of my clients, you know, people are worried about some people, not all people, some people are worried about telling other people or, you know, being social and all this stuff. And it's like, no one cares. They're always they're just worrying about where they're getting their next drink. I mean, seriously. So. And if they are, then you know, that's really coming from their own experience. No third party is needed to communicate with the divine. And when I stopped drinking and becoming alcohol free, and like I said, I really feel like the podcast is more of the work I'm here to do. You know, the alcohol coaching in general, is me being more of a clear channel to open up to creative consciousness and what's what wants to come through me. And there's really no person that can tell you, they can give you that information. I mean, you can learn from other people's mistakes, which I highly recommend you do. And if someone you know, I'm way more open to taking advice now than I used to be, it's like, okay, yeah, I'm not gonna go like learn that on my own and waste a bunch of time when someone's telling me like, No, don't do this. But as far as you know, that creative inspiration that you need to be uniquely you and what wants to reflect out into the world from you, that's a direct line of communication between you and you know, source consciousness, God goddess. Whatever your, your know, your spiritual connection is, and I do think prayer in group and like fellowship is really fun and important. And there's obviously like we did my sisters of the moon, we did a group healing session, the last full moon and it was so powerful, even virtually, it was amazing. We'd really just sent intentions of focus on each other's hearts. But you are the channel to, to what wants to come through and alcohol really blocks our ability to hear I mean, actually, not only does it block our inability to hear our intuition and and and direct communication from source, but it almost is impossible to so once you kind of get that out of your way you can start to more clearly see and it is a process of trusting yourself again. Or maybe for the first time of knowing like what would I do if this was up to me, what would my choice be or how would I find out the information and alcohol really leaves us kind of in this this confused, you know, not super confident place. But you have everything you need inside of you to create the life of your dreams and to have communication with direct source energy, I truly believe that sometimes you have to pay a price to trust your intuition. So for me, I know what I want, and I want it when I want it. And sometimes I have to have the opposite reflected back at me, like I have to do it the way that I don't want to, for me to trust my intuition, basically. So for example, working with a business coach, and you know, kind of one of the things is visibility, right, you want to be visible, you want to be on social media, or be out in these other places. And like really not wanting to do that, and just knowing that I don't, right now have the time or the desire to do it. And now it doesn't mean that I don't do things that are supportive of my clients and my business, even when I personally don't want to with absolutely do. Sometimes I don't always want to record the show, but I do anyway. But knowing, you know, and then like not doing it, and then trusting my own intuition of what I want to do, and then you know, getting more clients. So sometimes you have to go backwards to go forward a little bit, you know, like to one step back two steps forward. I'm, I don't know exactly what that is, but, but pay attention to that, right, like pay attention to, you know, that kind of like, I should have listened to myself, but remember that and not with shame or regret. And that's something that I've learned on the podcast is, you know, I really wanted it my coaching business and my podcast to have this spiritual undertone, because that's my life. And I, you know, I shied away from that a little bit, and I don't, you know, teach spirituality and coaching. But the women who I'm attracted to are definitely open to living a Spirit led life, you know, understanding energy and energetics and present moment experience and connecting with this the higher self right? Outside, that's really the woman that's calling you to want to make this change. And to me, that's, you know, that is spirit, that higher voice that voice and inside that says, okay, when you get to look at this, you got to take a look at this, Something's got to give. My voice matters. So all of our voices matter, and my voice does matter. And like I said earlier, even if I only ever helped one person with the show in any way, then I've done my job. And we all we are missing voices in our culture, right, we have been absent, of soul of representation of so many voices. And it's so important because we have so many problems that could be solved. And we were all able to express ourselves uniquely. So your voice matters, say what you need to say, without righteousness, but from a place of love and, and your your true intention. Because there are a lot of problems in the world. And when we can have more unique solutions for them. We are all going to be better off. There are so many voices in our culture here in America that we have yet to learn from. And that's changing. Unfortunately, we have seen, you know, through the Black Lives Matter movement, a huge shift. And in the recognition of that, right. I mean, the The country has kind of been blind to the fact that this has been we've had underrepresented information in this world. And it's been to our detriment. So your voice matters, my voice matters. And that's the other thing about this show is the empowerment that alcohol is drowning your voice. And I want you to feel empowered enough that without apology, you move out into the world to express your magic, right? What you want to do uniquely. courage and bravery aren't necessary when you stop believing you can be wrong. And so it doesn't mean that I don't get scared and I don't need courage, but it is that fifth dimensional living where if whatever I choose, nothing can be wrong, then I don't really need to be brave or courageous. And there's not much that scares me in my business anymore. You know, I, I kind of even if I do feel intimidated by something, I just schedule it and do it anyway. And because I know that it's just a facade, and there's no one that's going to yell at me. There's no one that's going to tell me I'm wrong. There's not going to be a punishment. The punishment really just comes from my own mind. So, you know, I mean, even if I had like all the haters in the world, saying Something to me then that, you know, I still have a choice of how I want to think about that. So this place of really dismantling fear as an illusion, courage and bravery, aren't even values that I, that I need to have, I can have, I can replace those with, with us authenticity and discernment. Because I know that I really can't do anything wrong in this life. I'm just here to be uniquely myself. And when I when I show up that way, the you know, reflection on other people or mistreating other people is so much less I'm so much more calm and relaxed, because I'm not deflecting my, my feeling of, incompleteness or value. So, just really stepping into that place really changes the world and changes our relationships. Alcohol stripped my ability to trust my innate value. And innate value is the value that we're born with, regardless of what we do in the world. So this podcast doesn't make me a more valuable person, I really don't believe that. I believe that I was always whole and holy, and we are from the day we're born, until the day we die, we just forget that, you know, will this podcast create value for other people's lives? Absolutely. But it doesn't, you know, put me there's no scale right? In life, and it creates more value in my life. But value as a person is innate and can't be diminished or taken away. The alcohol stripped me of my ability to trust that, that that was actually true, I thought I needed to have a title or a label or do more or be more to like, you know, really like do life right? Be good at it make be successful at it, when all that is is a decision that you make. But when when you when alcohol is in your way, you are not you don't feel your wholeness or your holiness, you are depleted of spirit. And so it's really hard to see an honor your the fullness of the value in which you are innately it clouded my also alcohol clouded my ability to become a vessel for creative information. And I mentioned that earlier, that I couldn't have even had this information or any other real valuable information coming through while I was still drinking it was it would have just been, you know, half assed and it would have been a real struggle for me to to flow, and to, to know what I wanted to talk about and be as clear and concise about it as possible. So there's so much that your heart and your mind can do when the body is in balance, you know, they can work together as a beautiful team to produce things that can really support the world, and yourself and your family and you're in your beautiful life. It's okay to change your mind, no one will hold it against you. You know, I started so many little things on the podcast, I advertised a couple of programs that I never ended up launching. And I started this embodiment series. And, you know, I just did a few things that probably no one even just noticed that I was taking the podcast in a new direction, or, you know, I've said, Oh, I'll put this link in the show notes, and then it never happens, right? And that's not for lack of follow through. It's, you know, maybe time and it's, it's just trusting myself, it's planning and then, you know, knowing that that wasn't the best course of action, but you're still here, you still love me, I'm still giving value. And you know, we're just human. And I think that's something that quarantine has taught us as we've all kind of gotten to be in each other's homes and private lives through zoom and, and and be in our own lives and on a really deeper intimate way. So that we all are human, no matter what it looks like, on the on a website or on a beautiful Instagram page or whatever. It's like yeah, we drop the ball, we, you know, fail. We, we try you know, with businesses, you launch things and it doesn't work and then that offering isn't there anymore, but it's not like you're out into the world really explaining it, it's just on to the next thing that you know is going to be more successful because it's going to because it's going to give people more value. The things Those that are more successful the things that create more value in the world. And for other people. If I speak my truth from the heart, those who are ready to hear my message will resonate. And that's kind of the same of the the reflection of, of all of us, right that I'm reflecting the voice of another, and she's reflecting some part of me as well. And my message won't resonate with anyone, because with everyone, there's a certain level of awareness that we all have that, you know, we either are ready for something, or we're not, or maybe it's just never our language. And we, we won't ever resonate with it. And that's okay, because there's lots of people in the world. And that's why there's room for lots of different approaches to changing your relationship to alcohol, because there's going to be people that resonate with that in different ways. And people want to share their story, the women I had on the show, Oh, my gosh, so amazing. And I do think we really want to share our story because it validates our experience, and because, deep down, we know that it's it's meaningful, and it and it can help another. And because it's our lives, it's our lived experience, and it and it does matter. It really, really can help others feel like they're not alone. And people want to hear your story. Absolutely 100%. People want to hear your story. And when we can listen and share in an intimate way with full presence. This is how we really create real community and real intimacy, not only with ourselves, but in our relationships is full presence for the other person active listening, listening, not ready to just, you know, safe, not waiting for your turn to talk, but just seeing what can you take in from from the other, right? And how can you share belief in intention of service interrupt fear, and that kind of goes back to that same idea, but my belief that this show needed to be enough of my offering for my business, and what I wanted to put out in the world at this time. And my intention of service really did interrupt, my fear was like, if I'm doing this, to share to be of service to help, then what is there to be scared of, right? I mean, if you go to a soup kitchen and put soup in a bowl and hand it to someone, what is there to be scared of. And you know, I just think that however we can support the other, from your heart, genuinely, if you're not trying to, you have to really understand what your intention is. And that's why with social media, like if my pod if I'm serving through the podcast, and I am working with my clients, then why if I'm not really into social media, then Why else do I need to be on there? I mean, I could be connecting with more people. But that was that's kind of been one of my things, when I get into some mind drama about, you know, having more of a social media following is why what's my intention behind it, and the podcast is going to give everyone way more value than you know, a post that they're gonna see and forget about in two seconds. So that could be a story also. But it's what's what's kind of kept me focused and kept me out of mind drama of, you know, the fear, like fear of missing out, or I should be doing this. Because right now, I, you know, I don't have that the don't have or want to be in that way. So that kind of comes into really always understanding your intention for why you're doing something because it's going to end up with a better result. You don't need to be on social media to be successful. And I just talked about that. I've proved that to myself this year. And that's awesome. The more I just prove my beliefs, the better ally I become. So when I changed my relationship to alcohol, I was blown away because I really thought that it was some version of the best version of my life. And I really thought I loved it. I thought it was great. I thought it was all these things that I now don't believe are true. I believe alcohol has no merit for my life really or for anyone else's. But I don't think that that's good or bad. I just think that it's not necessary and doesn't enhance my life or anyone else's life. But because I was so blown away the blinders that I had on about alcohol, I really started to notice all of these other things that I didn't see about my life as a white woman, and, you know, in the relationship with my mother and some of the stories I've had about her, and, you know, I'm really in my partnership, like what's possible for that. And the evolution of that, when we put all these parameters and these stories about, you know, these labels in the way that things are they should be, we really limit ourselves to still learning from other people to evolving into growing, and to softening our heart and letting making room for more love and more joy to come in. And that really has been what alcohol has taught me, it's been the framework and the Foundation, and the willingness to be wrong. And if you've listened to the show, you've heard me say that many times, your willingness to be wrong about alcohol is one of the first steps that you need to take, because if you hold on to, to justifying all of the reasons why it's okay, it's going to be a really big struggle to get it out of your way. You don't need to you don't need to demonize it. And I don't encourage that you demonize it, but you need to step back and create a wider view, open your eyes to new perspective and possibility. Because if you can't think like, wow, maybe there's something here that I'm not seeing, then you're not going to be able to see it until maybe you're like knocked, you know, knocked down knocked on your ass. But don't wait that long. Just know that there is a beautiful, wonderful life waiting for you on the other side of alcohol that you just can't see yet. In my journey of how I changed my relationship to alcohol to this day, really still does blow my mind. And I was just I was so blindsided about what I couldn't see in as far as possibility it just wasn't even an option. until it was and and the way that it was was I had to actually see it reflected in someone else. So pay attention to the people that you really admire and how they're showing up in their life, whether or not they're drinking alcohol or not. And I hope that this show is an inspiration to you. Because alcohol, although I was already starting to coach before I quit drinking, and I was already doing my own, you know, running some of my own classes in the in things in the world as an entrepreneur in helping Matthew with with our remodeling business. It really is what expedited my ability to become an entrepreneur and really built like build a real successful business. And I'm really, really proud of myself It is sustainable. It is there is follow through. And it's not going anywhere. And it's just growing. But I don't feel like there's a rush, I'm just taking one step at a time with what feels safe and supportive and what like a healthy life I can live while I'm doing it. And so when you're changing your relationship to alcohol, it's the same thing. Don't rush the process because that liminal space between drink, being, you know, an everyday drinker. And finding freedom on the other side of alcohol takes patience. And it takes a lot of curiosity and a lot of compassion, and being really soft and gentle with yourself and other people. So nothing, no one has been successful at anything overnight. And it's the same with dismantling the habit of alcohol. And so when I was first started working with my clients, I really let them know like the first couple of months, just like, take it easy, you know, just be in that space, rest a lot, drink a lot of water, take a lot of baths, take a lot of naps, be really soft with yourself, because the body is going to be wanting to rest and it's been wanting to rest for a long time. I mean, the party is only going because the alcohol is still there, like you want to go to bed, part of you wants to go to bed, right? So you're not staying up if there's no booze, I mean, you might once you start realizing that there's other ways to have fun, but you have to look beyond what's right in front of you. All the way to the end to see really what really matters, right? So we see these, we always are gonna make these obstacles and these like illusions of obstacles in our way. But it's like getting to the end result that we have to that we have to hold on to so that we can keep moving through fear so that we can move through the difficult emotions, and really call ourselves out on all of the excuses that we make for why we can't just take the next step. And that's what I tell my clients when we first start working together is all you need to know is the next right step. And like when things happen to you when you have a baby or when you have a medical expenses or when your car breaks like you figure it out, right? We always figure out how to get more time or money but when it's intentionally, you know, doing the work, there's always going to be an excuse of Why now isn't the right time and that's your brain going in defaults, you have to catch it, you have to go all the way to the end result of possibility that you don't yet know, because you've never lived it like you've never lived in an adult alcohol free life. But you have to just trust that it's possible, because it is. And you have to continue to start to generate evidence of that. So some of the emotions that I had to generate, to continue to work on the podcast, and have a year of podcasting. And this is what I encourage my clients to do is what are the emotion that you need to generate and the thought that you need to generate to show up so that you're not in deprivation. And so some of the emotions that I need to degenerate were patience, wonder, passion, trust, fun, pride, and gratitude. And those emotions really are what helped me and then I had corresponding thoughts that went with those to help me generate them. that kept me going when I felt lack or discouragement or frustration, right, or any other kind of negative emotion or if I was depressed. So I stepped into those places to generate energy that would inspire the action that I needed to show up to do the show. And some of the thoughts that generated that this podcast is an extension of my life. People need this information, there is no right way to be me. There is a woman today who needs to hear this, nothing is permanent, show up for the podcast is not quitting on myself. If I help one person ever, it's worth it. Alcohol leaves and endless trail of lies and illusion of happiness is available to me right now. So for the next 12 months, when I am hoping to do in addition to continuing the podcast and meeting with wonderful women just like you to help coach in my one on one coaching program is scheduling time for the book. And the book will be about you know about the content from the show the my five shifts, and a little bit about my story. And I think some of the illusions of alcohol in our life that really take us in put us into a spiritual deficit, so we'll have a spiritual undertone to it. So I'm super excited about that, because that was the that was like on the docket for last year. And it's time, so I have to schedule it in LA. And finally launched the 40 days to freedom program, which you if you've been listening to the show you may have heard me talking about but it's ready to go. So I need to schedule that time in so look for that it's amazing my clients are having are blowing mind blowing my mind. They're blowing their own minds. And this program is going to be just an extension of the evidence that I've seen that's possible with the work that I'm that I'm doing with my clients, more TLC with my honey and less to do lists. So just really letting go of the laundry and just knowing that it will, the laundry is always going to be there. collaboration with other podcasts, I'd love to do more interviews. If you're out there hit me up, I'd love to share interviews if it makes sense. I want to spend two months in Mexico every winter. So I have a there's a secret little town there that I love that I have met some really wonderful people I've been to a few times. And I'd love to live there for two months every winter because the winter here is really long. And I'm going to build a yoga palapa on the property in my backyard. So I'm super excited about that. And Matthew and I are growing our garden a little bit bigger this year. And and then so I just wanted to end the show with a few little other thoughts about alcohol. And, you know, that are kind of what I've learned about alcohol and this year of podcasting is that it robs you from the present moment. It robs you from the natural pleasures of life, that creates really, the sustainable pulse. Right. So alcohol has high, high and low low, but the natural pleasures of life are what fill you not drinking has created so much more time, money and energy for me, literally the things that we you know, like time and energy are the things that we cannot replace. So, if you are looking for more time and energy in your life, it is time to get Get rid of alcohol. Living an alcohol free life has changed my relationship with Matthew and myself to process real emotions in a really big and intimate way. It's just kind of a like next level of our relationship. And it's not like butterflies and rainbows right now, either, you know, but it's good. And it's so powerful and so powerful to see, like, you know, after it'll be eight years this year, the evolution of that, and what's possible and us and growing together separately as individuals. So that's really awesome. It has taught me that everything is a constant evolution. So if you resist change, you will suffer. Another thought that I have really used this year is it's working. It is working, you know, sometimes, like I have generate evidence, and then I want to go to the contrary, because I'm like, I gotta, I'm doing something wrong. I have my I have clients. No, it's working the podcast. It's great. It's happening. It's all happening the way it's supposed to. And I really have stepped into trusting divine timing, that I will be ready for the next thing when it's presented to me and not a second sooner. Now this doesn't mean sit back and do nothing. But it means have patience, because there's things that I did this year that I would not have been ready for. Had they shown up sooner in my business so it's happening. Remember my why. So my unflinching why for my life is to remove story until the only thing left is love. Anything else that's in the way of love is an illusion. And my word for this year is inner peace. I wanted to give a quick shout out to all of the wonderful, wonderful women that were on my show this year. Thank you so much for your story, your bravery and your courage and we're gonna have to have a little reunion party. So kailyn Dolly. Yes, Mama she was on twice. Amber Stevens. Oh, there was a man Matthew Graham, Erica Hicks, Kelsey Irish Megan French Melissa Robin. Tina Quinn Deena Schaefer. Keely rata maker Willow Sana. Sara Sibley, Megan more. Moran Katie Ola goki su wolski. Connie McMillan Laura Osman freedom chin Morello Lindsey graves, Deena Barnes, Sabrina badet. Julia Phoenix, Tiffany Selwyn. And the list will continue to go on Naomi veeck. Thank you ladies so much. Thank you my beautiful listeners for being here. Next week's episode is going to be really really, really awesome. It is going to be me teaching you the number one tool that you want to have in your tool bag. For expediting the results in your life. It's called the ETA process. It's based on the process that a lot of coaches use, but it's it really is a universal principle of our thoughts, emotions, and actions creating the result that we want, but I'm going to teach it to you on the show. So bring a pen and a paper. And I love you so much. And remember, you don't have to take this journey alone and healing cannot be done alone. You are amazing. Thank you for being here for celebrating my first year have a magical day. Hey, if you're loving this podcast, you're definitely ready for the next step. I would love to invite you to learn my three shifts process to interrupt any craving and get you started on your journey to finding freedom from alcohol. All you need to do is click the link in the show notes or on my website Mary Wagstaff coach.com. To schedule a private call with me. You will leave the call with the tools for success and feeling competent and excited about entering into your new phase of life and it's completely free to you. I look forward to connecting