Why It’s Already Working Out in Your Favor

You don’t have to quit drinking to start changing your relationship with alcohol. In this episode, I share why the process might already be working in your favor—even if it doesn’t look like it yet. I talk about what’s been helping me lately: from gut health and hormone shifts to the supplement that’s actually making a difference. Plus, the one mindset shift that changes everything: asking yourself what you’re really reaching for before the drink.

Takeaways:

• Why mindset is only half the story
• How physical support (like healing your gut and regulating hormones) can reduce cravings
• The supplement that helped stabilize my moods
• How to shift from black-and-white thinking to real progress
• The question that puts you back in control—without needing to be “perfect”

Give your body a chance to balance and optimize your efforts:

Check out Amare! This is the exact "happy juice" I was on in this episode! LOL. Get $10 your first order, applied directly at check out. Apply code happcup at check out, for a free Happy Juice Glass! 

This Wednesday, June 11 at 5pm PST, we gather in sacred circle to ground, pray, share, and remember who we are—together. You don’t need to figure it out alone. This will be a monthly offering. 

✨ New and familiar faces welcome. Invite a sister-friend. If this resonates, you belong.

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Click HERE to schedule your free private consult with Mary

DISCLAIMER: This podcast and its contents are not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. It is for educational and inspirational purposes. I am not a therapist or doctor. The views here are expressed a personal opinion and based on first hand experience. Please consult a doctor if your mental or physical health is at risk.

Transcript

Mary Wagstaff: 2:04

Foreign Welcome to stop drinking and start living the feminine way. I'm your hostess. Mary Wagstaff, holistic alcohol coach and feminine embodiment guide here to help you effortlessly release alcohol by reclaiming your feminine essence. Sobriety isn't just about quitting drinking, it's about removing the distortions that keep you disconnected, overwhelmed and stuck in cycles of numbing. Each week, I'll share powerful tools, new perspectives that transform and deeply relatable stories to help you step into the power pleasure and purpose that it is to be a woman. This is your next evolution of awakened empowerment. Welcome to the feminine way. Welcome back to the show, my beautiful listeners, wherever you are in the world and whatever is going on for you, and no matter how much maybe confusion or pain you might be experiencing in life. I want you to know that you still have available to you the opportunity to be in gratitude, to be in possibility, because if you've made it here this far, that is a sign that things have worked out in your favor. I want you to sit and think about that for a minute. If you have made it here, things have worked out in your favor. If you can get up and go for a walk, things are working out in your favor. If you can listen to this and we have freedom of speech, things are working out in our favor. I have been in a state where I have almost, you know, it's like the paradox of choice. This abundance of possibility, right? Is confusion about our purpose in life is really a privileged problem, you know? So we get to take a step back and ask, What would bring me the most joy? What would bring me, ultimately the most freedom, and then we can take action from that place, I recently started taking a product from a company called Amari, a m, A R, E, and it is this product called happy juice. It's actually the combination of a gut health product, which I've been working on my entire life. So it's a prebiotic, a probiotic and a phytobiotic, and then there's also a nootropic. And you mix them together, it's this delicious morning drink. And I can't tell you, I have been looking for a supplement company, and I have a couple months back, I had been sharing with you magic mind. And it just wasn't cutting it. It felt more of like a novelty, kind of it was great, but it felt more instead of it being an actual Mental Health Wellness supplement, it, it felt like, um, like I said, kind of a novelty or not, something that I wanted to have as part of my needed, as part of my daily regimen. And so I've been in the wellness industry for over 20 years, mental health, physical health, and I have always been on the tip of you know what people are trying different tools, different modalities. And it really hasn't only been until the last few years that I've been really working on my gut health, and especially after removing alcohol. You know, our every system of our body is completely impacted by this and so, but in the last 18 months, especially, I've noticed my own cycle. I just turned 44 this year, in 2025 and because cyclical tracking is a was a huge part of my sobriety journey. It's something that I teach inside of the sobriety starter kit, and it's something I work with my one on one clients very, very closely on is charting our cycle. Well, I've been doing that diligently for the last six years, my whole cycle, right? It's not just the days we're bleeding. So as I have stepped into some hormonal shifting, I've really been able to notice it kind of from a neutral place, and trying to have some sort of understanding cyclically, of like, what can I expect? So, for example, the luteal phase, which is the last part of our phase, where our hormones really shift before we start bleeding, when we're getting prepared to shed our uterine lining. That used to happen for me, you know, day 22 I would start to really kind of see it, and then by the time I was bleeding, I was feeling more balanced. Well, now it's much earlier. It's pike day, 1617, I get really tired. I get angry. If I'm if I'm triggered, I get angry. And what I have to know is that it's okay for me to take a break. It's okay for me to even take a quick nap in the middle of the day, if I have the availability. That, and I can even schedule it in now that I know, but because we're so bombarded with so much information all the time, we again, we start off with this paradox of choice. We have so many things we can do, possibilities of who we can be, right. We have to be the keepers of our priorities, the keepers of our values and why things are important to us. And know well, we don't need one more thing to get there. We actually just need to prioritize and really honor the commitments that we make to ourselves in order to achieve and align with that value. Again, something I teach inside of my programs. So but we also have our human we have a body we work with, and that's why I talk about holistic alcohol coaching, because we can try to change our mindset all we want, but if our body is changing and shifting, and we're not attending to that as far as nutrition or even just observing it, and this is a mindset thing, but observing it from, you know, more of a compassionate, curious perspective about like, Hey, what's going on here? Instead of like, oh my gosh, I'm just so exhausted. I have brain fog, making it a problem, making it another complaint, right? That then feels like it's out of our control. Well, we want to figure out how we can support that. And so something I think that can happen so many of my clients, and if you're listening to this, are wellness advocates for themselves. They're very interested in optimizing their health, and they've lived very healthy lifestyles. It's like alcohol is the one thing that's not in alignment with this, right? I like to move. I like to eat. Well, a lot. I work with a lot of yogis. I work with a lot of meditation people, a lot of people that are already know about mindset, and if you don't, that's okay too. But most people want to be healthy, want to optimize their efforts. And so the one thing that I always lacked in a little bit was understanding nutrition and supplements, and it's such a wide wild west out there when it comes to information that you can just get so overwhelmed. And when I had a really big gut issue last summer where, basically, I, like, was constipated for months. I mean, it was awful. There was a supplement I took. I got the information on the internet, right. And I do believe in consulting with a physician or consulting with, you know, a healthcare professional for sure about these things. But we also have to tune into our own bodies and what works for us, because a lot of times it's like, take an antibiotic. Well, I knew that wasn't the issue for me, and I actually did a lot of emotional intimacy work, a lot of inner child work that really did heal this. I was holding a lot of emotional things. Part of it was busy, you know, part of it was the actual supplement that I took slowed down my digestion to a crawl, because it was a parasite, like a dewormer. That's a whole other podcast. So I've been on this journey to to really work with figure out the supplements that I don't have to take 100 a day, but take what really are optimizing my efforts? Because if I don't know if you know this about me, but I am very active. I have had, I have been in the fitness and movement industry for over 25 years, really, since I was eight years old. My mom used to take me to the gym with her. I grow my own food. I optimize my health. I eat really cleanly as much as possible. But I'm not restrictive.

Unknown: 10:22

You know, I have a piece of pizza when I want it, but

Mary Wagstaff: 10:26

I sleep is important, and so when I'm when I'm not, when I'm my digestion is off, and I'm like, Wow, I feel really uncomfortable my clothes, and here I'm walking and going to the gym and doing all these things, and yet I feel gross, like, that sucks, Right? And that's just a physical sensation, especially if I'm not going to the bathroom. Also, you know, not healthy. So anyway, fast forward the podcast that I shared with you all. That was the interview that I was interviewed on the truth about mental wellness with Andrea Clark. She didn't even approach me, but I knew she had been involved with this company called Amari, and I started seeing it on the internet, this drink called happy juice. So it's a combination of a nootropic for mental clarity, and then the gut, the gut, brain health, these two powders that you combine into this delicious drink and, holy crap. And so I've been really working on my sleep, making sure I'm getting at least access to seven hours of sleep, if not eight. This is really optimal, because I am working out most mornings. But last night, I happened to be up late and I woke up early. I did lay back down, and just like listened to some body relaxation meditations, which is also a really good tip, if you can't go back to sleep, at least, just stay relaxed. Stay out of your head. I took my happy juice this morning. This is only day two. I went to the gym, and I was like, I'm having you know, I'm working on a lot of things in my life. As you know, I just crushed my first DJ set that was live, you know, a big, my big, my first big, out public event that wasn't just my own. We have the farm. We're opening a farm stand. I'm coaching, I'm creating content. I've got the podcast. I'm a mom to a nine year old who I love to be with. And you know, there I'm teaching yoga, there's a lot going on, so I have to stay organized. And sometimes I get overwhelmed and I get confused, and I'm like, do I want to just throw it all away? Right? No, of course not. And I believe, with my personality type, that I can, I can hand do all of these things, and again, that's about honoring my priorities and making sure that the dishes in the sink aren't a problem, or whatever it is, is not a problem. I just got off of a coaching call for myself today. I just want you guys to know I have had a coach, if not multiple coaches. It is the best investment you could ever have. Everyone always needs access to a coach to help you see your mind, to help you see where you can make a little bit of a tweak. It's I don't even know what I would do. And we went in, and she helped me make a plan, and it was just wasn't a problem. And at the same time, I also got to pull out all of the things that I have been doing well all of the changes I have made, and give myself props, right? So we really look at what's working, what's not working, and what we want to do differently. And that's the beauty of coaching too. Is always like, how is it already working for you? And that's why I started the show, saying, if you've made it here, life is working out in your favor. It really is. And you have to be willing to take that mindset and say, Yeah, life is working out in my favor. I've got food on the table tonight, so how can I do it different tomorrow, so that I can step into alignment with who I want to

Unknown: 15:05

be? So I wasn't tired. I also changed

Mary Wagstaff: 15:10

the way I'm working out a little bit too, where I'm not doing these crazy, long workouts, and I think I'm actually getting better results because of it, because I was working with a personal trainer, and I'm working on my own now. So anyway, the personal trainer was great. I learned so much, but my my goals are a little bit different. Now. I'm not I'm not working out to build as much to compete. So anyway, but my mood, my outlook, I was like, yeah, there's still some decisions I want to make about some of the stuff I'm doing. But man, look at where I'm at. Like, I get to get get up, go for this beautiful walk. I take this little coffee walk. I park my car at the gym, and then I go on this 30 minute walk. There's a little hill. I always see deer. We have all of these beautiful plateaus around us in the Columbia Gorge. Then I get to go work out in this safe environment where I feel really comfortable being in the weight room, like the people are so nice there. And then I get to go home and coach my clients and have a meeting with Matthew and get coached myself. Like, what am I complaining about what a terrible problem to have that I'm confused about. The next offering that I want to offer you guys, right? Like it's perspective, but this, there was something about this happy juice that really felt like it kicked in. And I'm also taking a hormone product, so it's a hormone for her, and it is helping me regulate, you know, these hormones, but it's also like an in the mood thing. And I have Matthews taking the one for him, and he more. So we're doing a 30 day happy juice challenge, and he's also taking the other hormone balance, and we're just going to check in every day and share some of it in our stories about, you know, what's going on. So if you want to know more about Amari, follow my stories, and I do have a link that will give you $10 off your first order. I say, jump in and buy the happy juice pack and try it for yourself, because right away, my desire for coffee in the morning was less. I woke up much quicker, which I do get up pretty easily in the mornings anyway. But I'm just telling you, I feel freaking amazing. And what I like about it is it's, it is a mental wellness company, right? So their focus is, how can we use supplements that support the mind? Right? Because there is such a mind. We know there's a mind body connection, and their testimonials are out insane. They're amazing for all the people that are, you know, continuous customers. And I feel so glad to have found something, and I'm, you know, who knows how it'll all pan out, but I right now, I feel freaking amazing, and I just like the idea of a company that has a system that is all in one place. They even have hair care products and all sorts of stuff. They partner with some other brands, and then a person that I can talk to about the products as well if I need something else. They also have kid products for kids that maybe have some attention stuff. And it's, you know. It's all natural. These aren't drugs. They are supplements that are working with the gut and with the mind to help rebalance our hormones, to help our systems and our nervous systems work more effectively. And that just feels like I'm taking control where I can. And so my point is, too, is that when we're needing it's hard to create, sometimes, a mindset shift when we have brain fog, when our hormones are out of whack, when we can't get the sleep that we need. So we have to take care of our basic needs first. And I think finding something that's a trusted supplement, that's your consistent way, that you can stick to one thing that you can actually say, How does this really work? Maybe it's just a probiotic, right? Because we know how much our gut health affects our brain health, and that's why, you know, we can, like, if I eat a bowl of ice cream before bed, I will wake up feeling like I'm hungover, in a really bad mood, right? And that is because of, you know, it's not saying I'll never have ice cream, but especially if I do it right before bed, I will feel like crap the next day, 100% and this is why this podcast episode is about taking your last sip isn't the First step how we can actually begin our sober journey while we're drinking. I just got off the call with a client. Was talking about all the awareness that she was generate, generating from learning how to be in the witness, learning how to take the compassionate curiosity approach and also using her values in alignment with how she's looking at her sober journey, right? That it doesn't have to be cold turkey, because what happens? And this does. There's a lot of people that come here and they stop drinking, and they have enough evidence that they're like, Oh my God, thank God, I never have to drink again. They're they know, right? But a lot of times when you quit drinking, even when you're learning about it, it's like, there's this elusive delusion that's still over there. And it's like, Well, is it that, right? But when you start to drink less, and you apply the tools, and we're talking about it all the time, and you're engaging with the content all the time, you're like, oh, wow, right? You see the reality. You see the validity of your thoughts and how they're not actually true. You start to really tune into the sensations in your body. In the last week's episode, you start to really look at desire versus attachment. It's like, I don't even want to drink right now, but it's just what I do. It's just how I've identified. And so what I'm going to talk about on next week's episode is, are you really bored, or are you resisting pleasure? Right? Because that is the biggest thing, and this is the part of the feminine way of how, as women, we've really chalked our worth up to productivity, to doing, and how alcohol actually gives us permission to relax, right? So you can start this journey today in the sobriety starter kit, but you can also start it with one question of curiosity and just simply asking, what is this drink going to do for me? Why? Why is this important to me? Why do I want that? And you and then you want to keep asking, Why, right? And this is and when you when you don't become abstinent while you're beginning your sobriety journey, and you become curious, and you start to take a different approach, and you slow down the process, and you take a step back to become an observer of the habit, right, instead of it just being habitual, and this knee jerk reaction, these other things that I'm talking about with noticing what your body needs, noticing your cyclical nature, asking, What does my body really need right now? And actually tuning into the sensations, you can start to see, oh, it's not the drink, right? I know it wasn't ever the drink that I that I needed. It wasn't even the drink that created the hangover, right? It was my resistance to relaxation. It was my inability to give myself permission. It was needing external validation, whatever it is, I was thirsty, I was dehydrated, right? And then if you do add on some, some sort of protocol that can kind of help expedite that, right now, if you're drinking the things aren't going to work as well, right? So say you take a probiotic, it's not going to work as well, but you can start with one thing like, what's the one thing I know? If I change would change everything? And for so many people, that's alcohol, and that's why you're here. But maybe you add on an extra hour of sleep, right? Maybe you drink two glasses of water in the morning before you have your coffee. Maybe you put. Phone away an hour before you go to bed, and you get away from the blue light and you write your gratitudes for the day. That's a really powerful practice. So this is all of the reasons all of that leading up to this was to say we are holistic beings. There is not a separation between just our mind, just our body, just our spirit, just our heart. It all works together and when we're drinking and those systems are off. Yes, they are much easier to get back into balance. But what I have witnessed firsthand, for myself and for my clients is that we can use supplementation or other lifestyle habits to help support the process, because we have to have clarity of mind, right? I remember working with someone who was so anxious that she was like, I don't even know what my values are like. I don't even know how to start looking at that. So we're all starting from a different place, and that's where we have to take a step back and to be able to work with where we're at, instead of it being this, like a to z protocol, right? And there's still awareness, right? There's awareness of anxiety. Okay, well, when does the anxiety happen more frequently? Like, what's happening in your situation? And then we can talk about the thoughts about that, and it's like, Okay, what's one way we can start to, you know, take a step back from this anxiety. What are some of the practical solutions we can take because if you're not getting salt right, electrolytes to your brain, it's not going to work right if you're completely dehydrated. So water is a first step, water and sleep like our basic needs, and this is all going to help you in the process. So this is why my practice is holistic alcohol coaching, because I consider the whole woman, and most importantly, who you are today, different from who you were when you started drinking, different from who you were when it wasn't a problem, right? Not that you have a problem, but even the you have probably getting, been getting the same results of that from alcohol since you've been drinking. I know I was getting I was hungover when I was 22 and I was hungover when I was 32 right? None of that changed, but the impact of it had was a bigger impact because of what matters to me now, what's important to me now, what my goals are now, who I am now, and we have to give ourselves permission to change and take that step back. So I want you to remind yourself, and this isn't permission to like moderate necessarily. It's permission to and there's no rules around that, right, maybe moderation for you becomes more easeful. I don't coach on moderation because I think in the end, we're still using alcohol to solve a problem you can solve on your own, right, but I'm not going to say that it's wrong, right? If, if there's something a way that you figure figure that out, so you can circumstantially have embodied evidence that you that you are in a circumstance where you would normally drink, and then you don't, right? And then the next time gets easier. And that's why I don't believe in counting days, and that's why I don't believe you have to go cold turkey or abstinence to start this journey, especially if you're incorporating coaching around it, because you're going to get that weekly evaluation to really look at what worked and what didn't, and what do I want to do different, and how you're really examining your thoughts. And that is the impact of coaching, where we get to celebrate every single week. Because without that, I don't know if I would celebrate myself. Now, I know how to do a self evaluation, and I am. I have incorporated the habit right of self coaching, of looking at what's working of looking at okay, if I made it this far, things are working out in my favor. This is, you know, your new thought for the week, and then okay, but from this place now of feeling grounded and nothing's gone wrong, and not that I'm in an emergency state. Now, how do I want to move forward with choice, with control, with clarity, and ultimately, with love, have an amazing week, and check the link for the show notes for Amari if you want to go check it out. And also get on a one on one call with me where we can talk about where you're at specifically, so I can help you see the next best step for you, and maybe one on one coaching is that I'll talk to you soon. The days of white knuckling your way through an urge are over. No more distracting yourself, no more avoiding alcohol, no more resisting. And I am not exaggerating when I say that doing this one thing for five minutes will change not only how successful you are in drinking less, but how much you will love your alcohol free life. You are going to feel so good. So come on over to my website or follow the link right here in the show notes to grab the free urge guide that gives you the exact cheat codes to use to find relief without a drink. And the best part is no debor. Motivation, no missing out required. I'll see you over. Mary Wagstaff, coach.com you.