[266] What This Past Year Taught Me + A Sneak Peek at My Book

This week on the Real Happy Mom Podcast, I’m doing something special for my birthday. I’m sharing the biggest lesson the past year has taught me—why waiting for things to be perfect keeps us stuck. I also have a special birthday gift for you: a sneak peek into my upcoming book! Grab your favorite drink, get comfy, and let’s dive into some reflections, messy action, and a powerful reminder about protecting your peace.

Mentioned in this episode:
Momentum

3 Takeaways from this episode:

1. Waiting for perfection often leads to staying stuck—progress starts with messy action.
2. Protecting your peace may look like setting boundaries, even if it makes you the “bad guy” in someone else’s story.
3. Boundaries aren’t betrayal; they are love letters to your future self.

Links and resources:

• Momentum

Transcript

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Hey there, and welcome back to another episode of The Real Happy Mom podcast. I am Tony Ann, the podcast host here at Real Happy Mom, the podcast for busy working moms who need help with gaining more time and achieving their big goals without pulling their hair out. And in this episode, we're gonna do things a little different. So I have something special for you because it is a special time of the year for me, and that is. My birthday week, this is the week of my birthday, and every year I say I want to do something special on the podcast around my birthday, and every year I feel like I kind of let it go, but not this year. Today I want to share with you the biggest lesson that last year has taught me, and give you a little birthday gift too. Because let's just be real. Waiting on things to be perfect has kept me stuck in more ways than I'd like to admit. And maybe you can relate to this too. So I want you to grab your favorite beverage wherever it is, your coffee, matcha, or even your favorite mocktail, and let's go ahead and dive into some birthday reflections together. So one thing that I plan on bringing with me as I am celebrating another year around the sun is waiting until things are perfect, is just another way of staying stuck. I have had this play out so many different ways in my life, in particular, over the last year when it comes to: wanting into launch programs, wanting to write a book, staying in jobs that I knew it was time for me to leave, and just like overthinking things that really don't matter that much. So the truth is, is that nothing happens when things are perfect. The magic happens when you start, and a lot of times this means you gotta start messy. I'm sure you've heard this, when you hear people talking about doing things messy, doing things scared, doing things wobbly, however they wanna describe it. But this means, you know, just getting going, even if it doesn't feel right, you don't have all of your ducks in a row, things aren't the perfect environment, you don't have all the resources, whatever the case is, it is just going ahead and getting started with some small, messy action. So I just wanna encourage you to take some small, messy action, whether it's with your routines, with your goals, or just giving yourself grace. So that is my lesson that I wanted to share with you. Now I want to switch gears and share with you an excerpt from a chapter in my book that will be coming out next year that I'm super excited about again. Talking about messy action. I've been taking messy action and finally writing this book that I said I wanted to write. So I've gotten a nice chunk of it done so far. Still quiet a ways to go, but I wanted to give you this as my birthday gift to you just sharing this part of the book that I'm actually like really excited about. One, because this particular chapter is about a family member. And I let her read it and she gave me her seal of approval and said that she loved it. Then I had my mother read it, which I know probably doesn't count, but she was impressed and she liked it. I know, you know, all moms think that their kids do amazing things, so maybe my mom isn't the best person, but she said it was good and my family member said it was great too. So I'm gonna read to you. This excerpt from the book that I have coming out here soon, so let me go ahead and take it away. Chapter eight. Heel Turn. Embracing Your Messy Side. I used to think my sister was doing the most, like setting boundaries was a whole Beyonce level attitude, blocking people, made conversation, switching topics like a politician at a press conference. No explanation, no apology. And I'll admit it. I used to judge her for it. I'd be like, girl. You don't have to do all of that, but now, whew. I get it. She wasn't being extra, she was being free. She decided that her peace, her energy, and her mental health were worth protecting. And if that meant people saw her as a bad guy, so be it. If you're not a wrestling fan. Let me explain. In WWE heel turn is when a beloved superstar, the Babyface decides to flip the script. They ditched the goody two shoes persona, turn their back on the crowd and start doing what they want. How they want. It's dramatic, it's jarring, and sometimes it's exactly what needs to happen. Take John Cena. When I first started watching wrestling, he was the ultimate good guy. Clean, cut, smiley, all about hustle, loyalty and respect. But when he came back for what was basically his retirement run. Different story. The vibe has shifted, and honestly, it was kind of refreshing because sometimes being the good one gets exhausting. And that's what I saw on my sister. She used to go with the flow, bite her tongue, keep the peace. But after a while you could tell she was bothered. She was burnt out from swallowing her feelings. And one day. She just stopped. If a conversation made her uncomfortable, she changed the subject. If someone brought chaos into her life, blocked, if something drained her energy, she was out. No guilt, no explanation, just boundaries served cold. And let me tell you, watching her step into that kind of power changed something in me. Because here's the truth, sometimes protecting your peace means being the bad guy in someone else's story. Maybe that means saying no to volunteering again at the school fundraiser. Maybe it means telling your partner you need one freaking night to yourself. Maybe it means ignoring a group text, canceling plans, or letting the laundry pile up so you can finally take a nap. It doesn't mean you're mean, it doesn't mean you're selfish. It means you're choosing you. And if someone has a problem with that, well, maybe it's time for your heel turn. Because you don't owe anyone an explanation for choosing peace over pressure. You don't have to keep playing the baby face in a story that is draining the life outta you, your messy side. The one that says, Nope, the one that chooses silence over people pleasing the one that's not here for the nonsense isn't weakness, it's wisdom. So go ahead, turn heel when you need to block mute. Walk away, rest, speak up. Sit down and remember, boundaries aren't betrayal. They're a love letter to your future self. So that is just a tiny excerpt from my upcoming book. I hope that you loved it just as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I thank you so much for coming and celebrating, and I hope you enjoyed my birthday gift to you. And last thing, I have been gearing up for what I had previously called Confident Mom Life and it is now called Momentum. And I must say I'm pretty excited'cause the doors will open next week. So more to come on that here soon. That's it for this episode. Take care. And with lots of love.