[Holiday Voices] What I'm Doing Different This Year With Melissa Howard

This episode is part of Holiday Voices—a special Real Happy Mom podcast series filled with quick holiday tips, uplifting stories, and real-life traditions from moms who get it.

Whether you're a working mom trying to simplify the season, or just looking for ways to reduce holiday stress and be more present, these short episodes are packed with encouragement and ideas you can actually use.

Find all the episodes, links to guest freebies, and more at realhappymom.com/voices

Transcript

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You are tuned in to The Real Happy Mom podcast. I'm Toni-Ann, and this is Holiday Voices. This is a special series where moms share quick tips and meaningful moments to help you trade chaos for calm and make this season a little more like you. So let's jump into today's voice. Hey everyone. My name is Melissa Howard and I am calling in from the UK. I am a photographer, videographer by background and a visibility strategist for Neurodivergent who don't fit into the normal marketing cookie cutter vibes. And I'm also a mom to incredible. Boys who are currently five and two. Now I am a Christmas fanatic, like properly, like properly obsessed. I live for the Christmas season. The lights, the magic, the wrapping paper, all of it, especially the presents. So. A few years ago before the boys arrived, my fiance and I made the decision to not do presents, and we did this for about four or five years. So we didn't do presents for each other, not for extended family, literally nobody. And for someone who lives and breeds Christmas and presence and gift giving, this was just massive. Because it felt like we were spending the whole entire Christmas period in this absolute frenzy of buying, thinking about buying gifting, thinking about gifting, constantly shopping, constantly wrapping, planning, stressing about whether I got enough for somebody. And it literally got to the point where. We got to the end of the Christmas period, and although we were enjoying it in the moment, we hadn't actually experienced Christmas and I was knackered and we were spending a fortune as well. So those years that we didn't do it was an absolute game changer, but it was a really big adjustment for everyone around us. At first, I won't lie, like friends and family didn't understand it. They thought we were joking. And then actually on like the first Christmas, they're like, oh, you actually haven't got us anything. It's like, oy, we are your Christmas present. I did go as a bow as well. But it really freed us up to be really present during those Christmas holidays instead of like drowning in everything that, um, we needed to do. So when our two boys arrived, I completely slipped back into that old pattern, full throttle of doing everything for everyone, going completely over the top. Trying to create these sort of magical experiences, which is what we wanted, but then also completely burning myself out in the process, doing everything else of buying everything for everyone, gifting, ensuring everything was perfect, and yeah, you know, trying to get all the prep. Perfect gifts, trying to do the elaborate traditions, making some things from home, which is just definitely not me and not my forte at home. I literally had no time or energy left to enjoy Christmas. So last year when my boys were four and one. I really started testing the waters about scaling things back a bit and it kind of worked. So this year we're going properly, properly full throttle, so they're now five and two and they're at this. Really gorgeous age where they're really aware of most things and love experiences. So we sat down as a family and had a chat. We said to them, you'll still get your presents. We're not gonna go full Grinch, but instead of getting a mountain of toys, which to be honest, they don't ask for anyway. They'll get what they truly want, which is going out at the weekend and really focusing on what we do together and having those experiences. So this year we're doing breakfast with the Grinch. We're going to a lap planned experience. We're gonna be riding the Polar Express, which to be honest, are basically like mini holiday breaks in themselves. These huge, magical, very expensive moments, but they'll remember forever. And something else that we do. Uh, as a, a tradition that we didn't even know was a tradition is that whenever we do something at the weekend or we experience something or something special happens in school for them, we always ask each other what was the best bit, what was the most fun bit or the funniest or keeping it real? What was the toughest bit? And the great thing is, is that the conversation goes on for ages and the boys. Get really animated talking about it because it embeds those memories and they remember what they did that day and it's great hearing from them what they found to be the best bits or the fun bits when you think, oh, I actually thought they would've enjoyed X, but they've mentioned this first. So yeah, it's a really, really. Exciting time for us this year we're, I'm really excited'cause I generally have it all on my shoulders or think I've got it all on my shoulders to do. Uh, we've told our extended family and friends this year that they're not getting presents from us and strangely they actually get it this time. So I dunno if it's because the kids are involved now or people can see that, you know, we were. You know, intentional about it before, and then that's what we're wanting to do again. But it's been completely different response from years ago, and that really has taken off a lot of pressure. So what I want to share with you, and hopefully for you to take away, is to take the pressure off yourself, no matter how much of a Christmas buff that you are. The experiences, the time together, the belly laughs with your kids. Those conversations, they keep coming back long after the moments pass and you can't get that time back like the stuff it comes and goes and probably gathers dust on the side. But those memories, those stick forever. So this year I'm choosing presence over presence and honestly, it. Already feels like the best gift that I could literally give myself from a self-care perspective and also from my family, because they're gonna get all of me. So happy holidays. Merry Christmas, however you celebrate it. I hope this season brings you joy, peace, and weight, less stress, however that looks for you. See you soon. That's it for this one. It is short, sweet, and straight from the heart. And if you're loving the series, make sure you follow the show or subscribe so that you don't miss what's coming next. I'll be back again tomorrow with another one of these holiday voices. Until then, take care and with thoughts of love.