The Power of Choice: Your Authentic Path to Happiness EP#103

Today's episode is about The Power of Choice: Your Authentic Path to Happiness.

Have you ever felt like life's demands left you with little room to choose, or maybe you've found yourself going with the flow, unsure of what you truly want? Well, I'm here to tell you that embracing your power to choose is your authentic path to happiness.

Join me as we dive deep into the transformative power of choice. In this podcast, we'll explore how every decision, whether big or small, shapes our happiness and fulfillment. I know it might sound a bit controversial, but trust me, when you take a closer look, you'll realize that everything in your life is there because of a choice.

Together, we'll uncover three key ways that actively choosing for yourself can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life:

1. Choosing Your Presence: Every day presents an opportunity to decide how we want to show up in our lives. By being present and mindful, we reclaim control over our experiences, ensuring that we align our actions with our values and intentions.
2. Authenticity versus Expectations: Let's talk about the pressure to meet everyone else's expectations and how it often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from our true selves. By embracing authenticity and prioritizing what truly matters to us, we can break free from the cycle of people-pleasing and live with greater integrity.
3. Taking Ownership: It's time to stop playing the blame game and start taking responsibility for our choices. Whether it's making decisions in the moment or accepting the consequences of our actions, owning our choices empowers us to learn, grow, and create positive change in our lives.

In the podcast I'm sharing some practical tips, and actionable strategies to help you embrace your power to choose and cultivate a life filled with joy and authenticity. From celebrating small victories to learning from setbacks, every step you take towards conscious decision-making brings you closer to your happiest self.

Are you ready to start making positive changes in your life? 

Transcript

Why Embracing Your Power To Choose Is Your Authentic Path To Happiness

Do you feel like there are so many expectations on you that there is very little room in your busy life for you to choose?  Or do you feel like you are so busy you don’t have time to choose?  Or the energy to choose what you really want, so you find yourself going with the flow?  And, if you did have the time and energy to choose that you don’t know what you would choose because its been so long since you’ve had the energy?

Well, today I want to talk about the power of choice and why Embracing Your Power To Choose Is Your Authentic Path To Happiness

Your path to happiness is paved with choices.  The sooner you start recognizing all those choices, the sooner you will find your happiness.

I know this comment will ruffle some feathers, but when you’re really honest with yourself, you will see that its true.  Everything in your life is there by choice.  Whether you actively chose it or choose not to get rid of it or change it, you ultimately are choosing it in your life.  

When you look at things in your life that you don’t like, it would be so much easier to blame someone else…but blame makes you a victim…and you are not a victim.  Or maybe you were, but you are no longer a victim.  

So let’s talk about your ability to choose.  And 3 of the ways actively choosing for yourself can make the biggest difference in your life:

1.       You choose how you want to show up in your life each day.

2.       You choose whether you are being true to yourself or rising to other people’s expectations of you.  And 

3.       You choose to take responsibility for your choices!

Let’s start with the first one:

1.       You choose how you want to show up in your life each day.

a.       Every day you get to decide how you are going to show up in your life.  You do this by being present and realizing that if you are making the choices about your life…someone else is. And let’s be clear, when someone else is making the choices, they don’t have your best interests in mind. They might think they do…but they don’t know what’s really inside your head.

b.       When I say show up and be present, I mean, you can look at the busy schedule you have ahead of you and ask yourself, what do I need to do to support myself through this day?  What do I need to keep in mind to show up as my best self today.  Do I need to ask for help?  Can I delegate a task to someone else?  Do I need to stop and take a breath and remind myself of my values before I head into a tough conversation?

c.       Emotions still come into play in your day, but you can acknowledge your emotions and then choose how to react to situations.  BUT, if you aren’t actively paying attention, then you aren’t choosing…you are giving up the control to others or your emotions.

2.       You choose whether you are being true to yourself or rising to other people’s expectations of you.  

a.       Often when you are feeling the most overwhelmed is because you are busy trying to keep up to all the expectations on you.  And your pride is not letting you acknowledge that by meeting everyone else’s expectations you are putting yourself last.    

b.       This is a hard truth, but so freeing once you realize it.  I was the queen of people pleasing for many many years.  Breaking myself of this habit and being honest with myself that I did things to get approval from others that were counter to my personal happiness and self-care.  Sometimes even if there is something that we want to do, but the timing is wrong, but we do it to please someone else…its takes away from the joy in it.  

c.       I know for me I had to acknowledge how much energy I have.  There are many things in theory I would like to do…but once my energy reserves get depleted, I am not my best self.  And by saying yes to all the things I thought I should do, its my family that has to deal with the overtaxed me.  That is backwards to how I want to live my life.  I want my family to feel my love the most supported by me…not bear the brunt of me overcommitting.  I had to get clear on Who’s opinions really matter.  Well, first, yours.  And then the people you most value in the world…not all the noise out there.  You and the people who care about you the most.

3.       You choose to take responsibility for your choices!

a.       I know for me, sometimes I would put off making choices because I wanted to make the perfect decision…so I would put off making the decision to make sure I had all the info I could before deciding OR I would simply just not know what to do to please everyone so I would delay and try to figure out how to please everyone.  Well, indecision is a stressful heavy burden.  I realized that by delaying making decisions I was adding stress and frustration to my life.  I would then get mad at myself for leaving the decision so long when if I was honest with myself, I knew what I wanted to do…but I wanted to get the feeling that it was the perfect decision before I made it.

b.       Once you realize that making mistakes and imperfect decisions is part of being a human it starts to get easier.  BUT you also need to realize that you are okay if you make imperfect decisions.  You learn from it and try to do better next time.  As soon as you start blaming others for what is in your life is when you give your power away.  As humbling as making mistakes is, it is part of adulting and more importantly, its part of living your authentic life.  We are all imperfect beings just doing our best with what we have.  When you acknowledge that you make mistakes and are more understanding of yourself, you start to become more understanding of others too.  Isn’t that powerful?

Now that I have shared Why Embracing Your Power To Choose is Your Authentic Path To Happiness do you want to know how to start making positive changes in your life right now?

I have 4 suggestions for you to try this week:

1.       Pay attention to when you make a choice for yourself?  Or when you defer and let other people choose for you.

2.       Start making choices.  Even just small ones and notice when you do it.  For example, if you have decided you are cutting back on sugar and you have your morning coffee without sugar… celebrate that!  I know you might have made the decision days ago to cut down on your sugar intake…but when you do it in the moment, you are consciously choosing to not have sugar until it becomes second nature for you.  So, notice that you made a healthy choice.  Or notice when you are so tired of arguing with your teenager that you decide to give up and let them have what they are bugging you for.  It’s a decision.  No one made you make it, you chose that choice.  Acknowledge it.

3.       And 3rd.  accept the consequences of your decision.  Don’t blame anyone else if a decision didn’t work out the way you wanted.  Just accept the experience and learn from it.  The sooner you do that, you take the shame away from screwing up.  You just decided, and it didn’t turn out right.  If you don’t like the outcome, make a different decision next time.  It’s part of life.

4.       And lastly…if you really want to notice the biggest change in choosing things in your life…journal about a choice you made and how it turned out for you.  The best way to learn from your experiences is to acknowledge what happened, how you felt about it and process what you went through.  I know many of you won’t do this step…but I’m putting it out there for those of you that are ready to make a lasting change in your life.  Journaling is the fastest way to create change…you can do it.  

I wish I had understood this concept years ago when I was at the height of my people pleasing.  BUT I ‘m just glad that I know now.  My decisions these days don’t make everyone happy, but most of the time there is a thought process that goes into them and I make the best decision I can with the knowl3edge I have at the time.  I’m not perfect, but every day I try to live my imperfect authentic life and show up as the best version of myself that I can.  

When you take back your power to choose you will find more joy in your day to do life.

I will leave you with this quote by Hal Elrod:

"The moment you accept responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you gain the power to change anything in your life." 

Remember, when you have a choice, choose happy.  Have a good one and go get your happy on!