#510 | How to Cultivate a Conscious Leader's Mindset

What if leadership is not something you were born with, but something you are responsible for becoming? In this episode, we challenge the belief that conscious leaders are chosen, gifted, or naturally built differently. Through the lens of conscious leadership, personal responsibility, mindset, and holistic mental health, we look at what it means to lead your life with more awareness, ownership, and intention.

This episode is for the person who has questioned whether they are “leader material,” but still feels the quiet pull to become someone others can trust, follow, and grow beside. Step into the role before the world has to beg you to.

Here's a related episode that builds on today’s conversation:
#468 | The Books That Change How You See Yourself and Your Choices - https://apple.co/4qXneXG

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Show notes:
(3:04) Stewarding the future with intention
(5:44) Why leadership can feel unreachable
(9:07) Practicing the conscious leader mindset
(10:48) Here's what Matthew has to say about the Evolve Ventures community and how it has helped in his journey.
(11:35) Leading when life feels heavy
(16:32) If not you, then who?
(17:50) Outro

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(Stay tuned for this coming Monday’s episode!)

Transcript

Bianca Thomas

(0:00) I'm going to be interviewing Emilia on all things leadership. (0:05) So if you want to be the leader of your life, the leader of your family, if you want more control over your life, stick around.

Emilia Smith

(0:17) Most people think that leaders are born. (0:20) I am so deeply of the belief that they are made. (0:26) Conscious leaders are a whole different category.

Bianca Thomas

(0:29) Most of us are looking for hope, answers to the madness, certainty that we'll be okay, and someone safe to help guide us through the most challenging parts of our lives. (0:40) In a world that's changing and evolving every single day, where chaos, uncertainty, and cycles we never chose wreak havoc on our lives, it's easy to feel lost, hopeless, and scared of what the future will hold.

Emilia Smith

(0:56) Evolve Ventures is here to provide that hope, direction, and data-driven strategies to growth-minded human beings just like you every Monday and Thursdays, where each new episode is filled with vulnerable stories, interesting lessons, and simple tools you can use that will help you evolve into the person you were always meant to be.

Bianca Thomas

(1:18) My name is Emilia. (1:19) And I'm Bianca.

Emilia Smith

(1:20) And as the co-founders of Evolve Ventures, we are so grateful to be a part of your evolution. (1:25) Let's get into it. (1:27) Hey, everybody.(1:27) It's Bianca. (1:29) Welcome back, Evolvers. (1:30) It's Emilia for episode number 510, How to Cultivate a Conscious Leader's Mindset.(1:37) Bianca and I are excited to talk on this hot-paced episode about conscious leadership and how to cultivate a conscious leader mindset. (1:47) Because like I said at the very beginning, a lot of people hold the belief that leaders are born. (1:52) And so therefore, people never really step up to the plate because they're just like, well, I wasn't born a leader, so I'm not going to be one.(1:58) And therefore, they never become one. (2:00) The belief that I hold and the belief that I see time and time again is that conscious leaders, they're not born into it. (2:09) But how they're born, what family they're born into absolutely plays a role.(2:15) And then they develop skills that go beyond the average leader. (2:21) So in this episode, I'm excited to share some of those findings with you so that should you recognize that you have already some of these skills, develop them and really create a practice so that you can become a conscious leader. (2:37) Because let's be real, Bianca, when we think about conscious leadership, and specifically the mindset that is required to be a conscious leader, it is something that is...(2:48) I go to this time and time again, and I was being interviewed recently on a podcast episode and the host was like, so what is a conscious leader? (2:56) And I can't go anywhere but this analogy. (2:59) It is someone who is stewarding their garden day in, day out.(3:04) And so the garden metaphor, I think is a really important and powerful one, because conscious leaders are those who not only plant the seeds of today, but they're making sure that they nurture the seeds for tomorrow and for future generations. (3:17) And thereby they are connected to something far greater than just the here and now, far greater than just the five weeks from now and far greater than whatever we might initially think in our day to day mindset. (3:30) And so conscious leaders are stewards of the future, and they're making sure that we're moving towards a future that has meaning, that is prosperous, and that can allow others to flourish with them.

Bianca Thomas

(3:45) I think it's hard for people to identify with that because when we hear your description like that, and I'm going to... (3:54) I think the value that I can bring to this episode is talking about what it's like being on the other side of this as someone who never thought she was a leader, and where most people probably are, which is not believing that they are leaders and can develop into conscious leaders. (4:12) So hearing you say that, my parts, my unhealed, what I call black team, (4:20) the thought that they go into is, well, the person that you're describing is like Jane Goodall, (4:26) who at five years old had this idea that she wanted to go live in the Amazon or live in the (4:34) jungle with animals and wanted to change the world from a super young age, or Oprah Winfrey, (4:43) or Mother Teresa, or Tony Robbins, or all of these people, or MLK or whoever, right? (4:51) Insert person here. (4:53) All of these transformative people who had these visions and ideas and these temperaments from a very young age, that's a leader.(5:07) They were born. (5:09) There was inherently something different about them. (5:12) And then I think of you and I, you were naturally a leader from a very young age.(5:20) I absolutely was not. (5:22) You were a leader and didn't want to be. (5:24) I wanted to be a leader and believe I was and absolutely was not and should not have been.(5:30) So when you're on the other side of this, it is hard to hear something like that and to be like, no, yeah, that makes sense. (5:39) She's right. (5:40) So can you bridge the gap?(5:44) What makes you confidently and so confidently say that? (5:50) What are we missing that you can see?

Emilia Smith

(5:53) So one of the things that I can see is, and when I was thinking about this episode, I'm like, I might bring this one in. (6:02) So we're born into families and some of us have siblings. (6:07) Some of us don't.(6:08) The large majority of us do. (6:10) And often we're not necessarily thinking about where us being born into a family of multiple children will ever come into the conversation around conscious leadership. (6:21) And what I found is that people who have siblings in particular end up having this skill set of being able to think outside of them, outside of them that they've had to either by force or by encouragement from their families to not just only think about themselves.(6:43) And what I see in so many realms is people have an underdeveloped skill that they have underdeveloped and not practiced as much as they could just by being a sibling. (6:54) So I'll give you the example. (6:55) I'm a middle child.(6:58) And as a middle child, I have, through having an older sibling and a younger sibling, have had to think about the choices that I make and how that might impact my younger sister, my older brother. (7:10) And that was something that was just built into how our family was. (7:15) And I know other people with siblings also have had to think about other siblings, maybe not necessarily for the best.(7:24) But what I find is that one little skill set of thinking (7:27) outside of the me, that is ultimately a skill set that when practiced over time and applied to other (7:36) people around us, the teams that we have, the business and the organizations that we can develop, (7:42) I see that as the thread of potential that when practice, it's like exercise or any sports skill, (7:49) when you practice it over time, thinking outside of the box, thinking outside of the me, (7:54) more commitment to learning, more being open, more being curious, right?(7:58) That's what we call above the line. (8:00) That practice or that thread eventually develops into conscious leadership. (8:06) And either you have people who help you nourish that and nurture that and give you opportunities to rise to the occasion, to think outside of the box and thereby develop conscious leadership practices and skills and mindsets, or you don't.(8:20) And a lot of people don't have someone in their life asking, inviting, encouraging, and kind of pushing them, nudging them into conscious leadership, developing that thread to be the skill that becomes the conscious leadership mindset that I have. (8:33) So Bianca, you have had people in your life that have nudged you into becoming a conscious leader. (8:39) And that's where that skill set ties back down to.(8:41) And I know you're a little more than a nudge, but that's why I'm cheesing. (8:47) True. (8:47) So your mindset shifting from an unconscious leader is like, that's not me.(8:52) I'll never be that. (8:53) I never had that. (8:54) Like it's all this, like, it's like a trampoline.(8:55) Like everything that is being nudged towards you just bounces right off of you because what comes with conscious leadership, there's a lot of responsibility with that. (9:04) And a lot of people are uncomfortable with responsibility. (9:07) So the first thing for anyone who wants to develop or what is kind of curious about this conscious leadership mindset, what I would say is, number one, we need to remain open-minded.(9:17) A lot of people who are joining this episode are already growth mindset, are already open and curious about this topic. (9:25) Why? (9:25) Because you know that no matter if it's conscious leadership applied to your family as a mom or as a dad, conscious leadership applied to your team, to your coworkers, conscious leadership applied to your community, like whatever the setting is, even at your baseball, sports, I don't know, apparently, whatever, like conscious leadership can be applied and integrated into any area of your life.(9:51) And so the first thing is to remain open, open-minded to the fact that you could be a conscious leader if and with practice. (10:00) Number two, remaining curious to what could that look like for me? (10:05) What could being a leader look like in this stage of my life right here, right now?(10:10) And then the third thing is ultimately committing to learning what it is like to be a conscious leader as opposed to just a regulator, as opposed to a manager, as opposed to just a human, right? (10:20) And I think that when you, when you take those three assets of skills, you combine them and you develop them into a practice, Washburn's repeat, and you, and you wake up and, and slowly develop that identity of being a conscious leader that practiced and nurtured over time. (10:39) You start to have a different relationship with responsibility for your life, for the circumstances, and ultimately you help support others do the same.

Matthew Choiniere

(10:49) Hey everybody. (10:49) My name is Matt. (10:50) I am the director of marketing and communications at a radio station here in central Massachusetts.(10:56) I've been a part of the Evolve team for about a year now, and I can say it's been nothing but great. (11:01) Kind of diving into myself and realizing that I need to step out of my comfort zone and build that confidence in my insecurities, but also maintaining who I am as a person. (11:12) You know, this is a community that's not forcing anything upon you, and it's just super genuine and super honest too, which I like.(11:19) And again, just recognizing that you are your own person on your own journey, but everybody in the community is here with you. (11:27) Amelia, Bianca, and Derek especially have helped me get to the point where I'm able to excel in my career and in my personal life.

Bianca Thomas

(11:35) In order to be a leader, you have to be able, especially a conscious leader, especially a good conscious leader, like an actually helpful, productive conscious leader. (11:49) You have to be able to think outside of yourself and think of other people, right? (11:55) So many people struggle with that.(11:58) So many people, their lives feel so unbearably and unbelievably consuming, and they're in so much strife and grief and chaos and whatever that they might find it nearly impossible to think outside of themselves in order to develop that curiosity, to have the belief that they could be a leader and then to cultivate the skills to be able to do so. (12:30) Yeah, fair. (12:31) How do those people get started?(12:33) How do you look outside yourself when all you see is your own pain, when all you feel is your own challenge and difficulty? (12:46) Because I can imagine that that would be the argument that a lot of people might say. (12:53) It's like, how am I going to think about other people when my life is so unbearable, my life is so difficult?(12:59) So how does someone in that position do that?

Emilia Smith

(13:03) Yeah. (13:03) So that's such a beautiful conversation that I'd be super curious if you'd be open to having an even deeper dialogue with in another podcast, maybe a part two of this. (13:13) And the short answer of this is ultimately, there's a lot of beliefs that as a conscious leader, you're committing to nurturing, again, that garden, you're planting seeds about yourself, the world and other people.(13:27) And what you're describing is that someone has a garden and they're like, my flower that I planted isn't growing. (13:36) Essentially, and this is going to sound harsh, but they're conditioned in their life to focus in on what is wrong and what is kind of, they're caught up in the lack of ownership of their own life, which ultimately results in not seeing the world as your ally, which ultimately results in a victim mindset. (13:59) And then the victim villain triad kind of starts to come in.(14:03) And ultimately, you kind of just get spun into this doom spiral that there's no capacity that you have for this conscious leadership mindset. (14:12) And I would actually say for someone who wants to start is recognizing that that mindset that you have, that's literally caging you in to focus on the me, me, me, me, me, and all the things, not invalidating what you're going through, not at all. (14:25) Like you're going through, that's a hundred percent true.(14:28) And you can be the victim, you can be a villain, you could be a hero, or you could be a conscious leader. (14:36) And it really comes down to a decision. (14:39) And I know that might sound so insensitive to someone going through that, who has been conditioned their whole life to focus in on what is going on in their life.(14:49) A conscious leader knows that there's no quote unquote, good time to just start becoming a conscious leader. (14:55) You're going to have shit going on in your life at all times. (14:58) It's going to be easy to go down that victim slide and just go into the pool of your own suffering.(15:05) And that's where I think the leap of faith really does happen with conscious leaders, because you realize that if I don't take a hundred percent responsibility for my life right here, right now, yes, things are suffering. (15:15) And I see the world as my ally and I can create win-win-wins and I can try to do my best to be the resolution that I need in this world. (15:27) That comes from switching gears slowly over time into an abundance mindset.(15:35) So there's a lot of skills and habits that go into doing that. (15:38) And maybe that's where part two of this episode can come in. (15:41) What are some of the habits to be able to slowly and surely plant those seeds in the garden and water them over time so that one day you wake up 20 years from now and be like, holy crap, I didn't realize how much of conscious leader I am.(15:55) And there's people interviewing you on what was that like? (15:59) And you're like, honestly, I don't know. (16:00) I was just trying to survive, which is oftentimes what the first phase of conscious leadership will be like.(16:09) And then slowly you'll start to sink into, wow, what were some of the habits and some of the mindsets, some of the things that Amelia said in this episode that I really did apply in my day-to-day life. (16:21) And then the next phase is recognizing I want to do that and I want to double down on that. (16:26) And I'm going to continue doing that.(16:27) Why? (16:28) Because the world around me needs a conscious leader. (16:32) And if not me, then who?(16:35) If not me, then who? (16:36) So with that being said, I want to close up this episode with that story, with that lesson, with that concept. (16:43) If not you, then who?(16:46) Take responsibility, step into the conscious leadership practices that we talked about today, and imagine a world where other people are looking up to you because likely that world is already existing. (16:58) You are not just stepping into the conscious leadership mindset that you already have. (17:03) It's just a seed of potential that we need to water.(17:05) So I implore, I nudge you, I invite you to step into those shoes they've been waiting for you. (17:10) And the world needs that.

Bianca Thomas

(17:15) Beautiful. (17:15) If you enjoyed this video, if this resonated with you, like we said, we are going to do a part two on this. (17:22) I will make sure that I add that to our lineup and we'll make sure that we add that.(17:26) If you liked this video, number 468, the books that change how you see yourself and your choices. (17:35) Leadership is 100% about mindset and choices. (17:40) So if you like this one, if you want to learn a little bit more before that next episode comes out, click the link.(17:47) You'll see it somewhere here on the screen.

Emilia Smith

(17:50) As always, thank you, Evolvers, for your interest in the science of holistic mental health. (17:55) We appreciate you so deeply. (17:57) Keep evolving, everyone.(17:58) We know firsthand how important it is to have a safe space with people who support and celebrate your evolution. (18:10) That's why we created our free live virtual event called Out of the Mud that we host the last Wednesday of every single month, 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, so that while you venture into new territories of your growth, you can get in a room with others who are too. (18:27) Extraordinary topics with evolved people.(18:29) That's what this event is all about. (18:32) What's great too is that you don't even need to have your camera or mic on. (18:35) You can just listen in.(18:37) Click the link in the show notes to register for the next topic to kickstart your growth.

Bianca Thomas

(18:42) Be on the lookout for our IG Lives that we host every Friday at 1230 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. (18:49) This is a place where you can connect with us live and in a fun, light-hearted way. (18:54) We are also in the process of rolling out group coaching and online courses, and these are sure to help you evolve into a greater version of yourself.

Emilia Smith

(19:03) If this episode resonated with you or you heard something you know will help you evolve, please share it with someone you love and care about, team members across the world, or someone who you believe deeply could benefit from joining this discussion.

Bianca Thomas

(19:18) This content is intended for information purposes only. (19:21) It is not a substitute for professional counseling or psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and does not constitute medical or other professional advice. (19:33) Names and identifiable personal details mentioned in respective podcast episodes and stories may have been changed to protect personal privacy and identity.