GROW Counseling
GROW Counseling
Challenges & tips for people struggling with pre-existing mental health issues during COVID-19
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Dr. Wendy Dickinson, founder and psychologist at GROW Counseling, sits down with Molly Halbrooks and talks about some of the challenges individuals with pre-existing mental health issues may face during the Covid-19 pandemic and quarantine time. There are helpful tips for how to be successful in navigating this time well!
Hi everyone, this is Wendy Dickinson at Grow Counseling. I'm a licensed psychologist and the CEO of our practice. We are a counseling practice in Metro Atlanta and have four office scattered throughout the city. Today I have Molly Hallbrooks with us. She is a therapist in our SWANTE office, and I've asked her to come on and just chat with us a little bit about mental health issues that were pre-existing before all of the craziness broke out with the pandemic and the stock market and all the things that we've been dealing with. So, Molly, thank you for making time to come on and talk with us today. Thanks so much for having me on. I'm happy to be here. Why don't you take a minute and just tell everybody so they know what perspective you're coming from, what kind of clients that you work with, and what kind of specializations that you have.
SPEAKER_01Sure. So, like you said, I work out of our SWANI office. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I have a variety of specialties. I see a lot of people who deal with anxiety, with trauma, with grief and loss, identity concerns, life transition. So I work with a lot of adults and kind of young adults teens in as they're moving through their different life stages.
SPEAKER_00Great. So you will be perfect for the conversation today. Yeah, yeah, I thought so. This time that we're living in right now, I think arguably is one of the most stressful times that we've experienced, at least in recent history. And, you know, I think it's been hard for everyone. There's been a high level of stress, of anxiety, of fear, of grief. Um, but you know, one of the things that I've been thinking particularly about are people who started with or had pre-existing mental health issues before all of this additional stress and anxiety has been pumped into the world. So what let's just start real broadly and talk about um what do you see as being particularly difficult for people who already struggled with anxiety, depression, OCD, other things that we we would label as mental health issues.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Yeah, so I think one of the things that um is difficult for this population is that while they might have worked really hard to build up coping mechanisms, um, to build up resources for themselves to be able to deal with their existing mental illness, a lot of those are really limited right now, or they're not available. You know, people have spent a lot of time um practicing skills and accessing support. And the reality is that a lot of that has shifted to where it's just not available or it looks very different than it normally does. So I think that's one of the biggest things that I'm hearing from a lot of my clients, and I'm just seeing in general from my family, my friends, um, the the general public. I also think that everybody's energy right now is really heightened. People who are normally really calm, who might be a great source of support, are dealing with the scaries where they might be really stressed out. Um, you know, people that you normally lean on may not be as available or as able, or their own energy might feel really different. So even the support networks that we've built can feel really different for people who have pre-existing mental illnesses.
SPEAKER_00That's great. I was talking to somebody the other day about the psychological idea of emotional contagion and how when we have conversations or interactions with people that have a heightened sense of fear, anxiety, panic, sadness, that those negative emotions are far more contagious, unfortunately, our research shows, than the positive ones. And so we really are having to be careful about being selective about who we allow into our energetic bubble, if you will.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm. Yeah. No, I think that's a really great point. And so I I think it's it's really having to pivot for a lot of people. Um the things that are normally there are not or they're different, and then having to come up with alternatives that still feel as effective during a time when your own symptoms, your own feelings might be really heightened. That's great. Yeah. I also think another piece is your self-image when you're dealing with a preexisting mental uh illness, your self-image is often really negatively affected just in general. So that's something that people really struggle with, how they view themselves, how they feel about themselves. Um, that's a common uh symptom for a lot of people across different illnesses and different presenting problems.
SPEAKER_00That's interesting. Let's let because I wouldn't, I I think uh a lot of people wouldn't initially attach the idea of self-image to a pandemic. Let's talk about what's the relationship between those two things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, for sure. So a lot of times when we feel out of control, it it gets turned inward. So if something is my fault, then I can fix it by just being better. If I do better, if I try harder, if I approach it differently, then I can change it. And that makes it feel a little bit more in my control. And while that's not inherently bad to take control over things and look for what is within your control, it's really easy for that to spiral into self-blame, self-hatred over something that's really not your control and not your fault, such as a global pandemic. There is nothing that you did to cause this. There's there's really not much you can do on a global scale to control that. So it can be a really slippery slope for those who already struggle with their self-image and then start to feel out of control because of external factors, for that not to turn into a really uh yucky downward spiral in how they're viewing themselves.
SPEAKER_00That's great. Yeah, I think I think that any of those things that we turn to to try to control really a lot of times are just about trying to find a way to be okay in the midst of a situation that feels unpredictable and unknown, and we don't have an end point and a timeline. All of those things make the stress go up, and we just kind of look for what is it that we can do to help us feel more like we're in control.
SPEAKER_01And like I said, that's not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. It actually is a really helpful tool to look for those things that are in your control. Um, I just think it's really important to be aware, especially for people who have those pre-existing uh struggles, that there are some things that are not your fault. And if you're feeling really out of control, if you're feeling really scared, it may not be your fault. Maybe you need to look for the things that are in your control and and focus on the things that do feel a little bit more certain. Um, things like your day-to-day, what can I do today that's present today to make myself feel better? And also looking at how people have dealt with stuff in the past. Maybe this is in your own life when you've dealt with a really hard period of time or really hard event, or even historically, if you look at human history, there are a ton of examples of how we have come through as a group and weathered really awful periods of time. And so I think some of those things are helpful to hold as you're trying to navigate that control question of yes, there are always things in the world that are outside of our control. But we as a species and as humans do a pretty good job of moving through that in the long run.
SPEAKER_00That's great. Yeah, I think I think shifting that perspective is really important because if we get stuck in that loop of trying to control the things that are truly outside of our control, we only become uh we we only begin to feel more helpless and frustrated and overwhelmed. So if we focus on what we can control, what we can manage, the good decisions that we can make, then we start to feel more confident because we're doing the things that we can do and and can start to focus on surrendering and letting the rest of it go.
SPEAKER_01That's great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I I think a big part of this is really about how we take care of ourselves in the midst of all of this stress. And I know one of the things you said in the beginning was, you know, that people need to learn, they they need to pivot because a lot of the things that we had turned to in terms of coping or um support systems are not available or not available in the same way that they were before, and that that transition happened really fast. Um, talk about what are some ways that you're suggesting to people that they can take care of themselves when their options may feel a little bit limited right now.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. So I think one of the biggest pieces is really paying attention to why certain things work for you. So if you know, all right, normally I would grab coffee with a friend when I'm feeling really low and we would talk and then I feel better, if you know that works for you, but it's not an option, then paying attention to what pieces of that are most important. So for example, if if the part of that that makes you feel more secure, more loved is the fact that you can have physical proximity to another human or that they give you a hug or that they hold your hand when you're when you're talking about something hard, then calling someone and talking is probably not going to have the same effect as being in person. So it's important to be aware of that so that you're not disappointed or frustrated when you reach out and it doesn't feel the same way that it normally would. If you need that physical connection, then maybe it's a question of, okay, I'm going to get the physical piece from somebody who's in my proximity, who lives in my house, or who's my quarantine buddy, and we can talk a little bit more about that. Um, and then I'm gonna do the talking piece with somebody who I know is safe and who can hold what I have to say and who's gonna be secure for me to share what I'm dealing with. So I might have to split that up. So I get the physical piece from someone close to me and I get the emotional support piece from someone else.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's great. I I think that you know, we're having I I've talked to a couple of clients and done some interviews, but I think we're having to be really creative right now in ways that maybe we weren't before. And so I think that it's a really good exercise because it draws on some problem-solving skills and some creativity. But I I a big piece of that is paying attention to what you really need. What is it that you're getting from people and what you really need to feel okay?
SPEAKER_01I also think if you're looking at that from like a physical standpoint, okay, if some of your coping skills have to do with being physically grounded or paying attention to your body cues, then choosing coping mechanisms that really focus in on what you're dealing with physically are gonna be important. Or if you get more stuck in your thoughts and your coping mechanisms help interrupt your thoughts, then again, choosing things that do that, that serve that function are really gonna be more effective. Rather than having this long list of things that don't really feel like they're doing anything, that can be really defeating when what you're trying to do is make yourself feel better.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So, real quick, I want to talk about the quarantine buddy because I think that this I like I like that term, quarantine buddy. Right, right. Because I think if you have people in your house, sometimes they're a huge source of support, sometimes not so much. It can create more stress. Um, and so if you if you're alone, if you don't have people who live in your house, it can be difficult to know okay, how do I get that physical human contact while still being responsible and safe? Um and so I think one of the things you can explore is if you feel comfortable finding someone else who is following the same guidelines that you are, taking the same precautions that you are, and and talking with them about being a support for each other of okay, we uh don't want to expose ourselves to the the virus, we want to socially distance, however, we recognize that being alone in our homes for an extended period of time is not gonna be good for us. How can we meet that need for each other? Can we shower right before we meet, meet up? Can we just sit in the same room six feet apart? You know, what do we need to do to take care of each other in this? Because you're my six person.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's awesome. I think especially for singles that are living in quarantine and self-isolation. We did a podcast last week about singleness and how you you survive and thrive in the midst of a lot of alone time. And I love the idea of finding somebody else who can be a buddy, even if they're not living in the house with you, but you're both observing the same boundaries and guidelines so that you can maybe go back and forth between, you know, each other's house, have a little bit of change of scenery, be around somebody else. I think that's that's great.
SPEAKER_01And I think that's just an example of being really active in your your own mental well-being. Um, being creative, thinking things through. What do I need? Not going on autopilot. I think it can be tempting when you struggle with overwhelming symptoms or feelings to really just shut down. Um, this is not the time to do that. That's probably not gonna serve you super well. Um, so I think really paying attention to what you're going through and creating space for the whole spectrum of your experience of this, that you know, you you might need to be a little bit more intentional than somebody else who doesn't already deal with a struggle or who doesn't already have anxiety or depression present. Um, you know, it doesn't have to be an all-consuming task, doesn't have to be the only thing that you're thinking of. Um, but using some of those tools, using some of the resources that are available, you know, setting up a daily schedule uh that works for you, not that works on Instagram, but that actually works for you.
SPEAKER_00This is not, I keep saying to people, this is not a one size fits all approach. And I I think the point about autopilot is really important because it gives us actually a chance to break away from whatever autopilot that we're usually on, whatever routines we're in, whatever kind of, you know, day-to-day grind we just go through. So I think there's a really positive element to all of this that we we do have the opportunity to stop and breathe and look around us and think about what works and what needs to be different. Um, the challenge is like you you were alluding to, not slipping into that sort of quarantine zone autopilot where it's just you're in your pajamas all day and you're scrolling through social media and you kind of get lost in what day is it, what time is it, where am I? So trying to set up some things that work for you and help to kind of break up the day a little bit so that there's some variation and you you have a again, we're kind of back to a sense of management or control over your own day.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I think it really helps to write those things down. Whatever you decide that you're gonna try for that day, write it down, put it where you can see it. It just helps to make it external rather than in your own brain sometimes. Um, I think one of the things that it should really include when you're talking about taking care of yourself and being intentional is just an awareness of what your own physical and emotional reactions are, not necessarily trying to change them or control them, but being really checked in. Um, and that might be even scheduling times to do a body scan. All right, I'm gonna take 10 seconds at this time in my day and just do a scan of my body, see what's going on, see where I'm holding stuff, or check in with my thoughts. Where are they headed? Are they spiraling or am I calm? Check in with my emotions, what am I feeling? Um, I think that that can help prevent the autopilot, but also again, give you that sense of control of this is intentional. They're not taking me over. I'm approaching what I'm feeling and what I'm experiencing when I have time.
SPEAKER_00That's great. Those are really good tips. So if you do all of that and you are, you know, you're you're leveraging these two tools and tips, and you're still feeling high levels of anxiety, fear, sadness, what do you recommend there?
SPEAKER_01So I really feel like this is a time to start with just acceptance of being human. Everybody is reacting to this situation. Everybody has different reactions, different emotions, um, but everybody is reacting in their own way. And so if you're feeling really strong, overwhelming emotions like anxiety, sadness, fear, it's not that you're doing anything wrong or you're handling something wrong. It's just that you're a person and this is a hard situation. It is a hard situation. I totally agree. And so I think uh the idea, there's this uh concept called radical acceptance that basically says that all emotions are valid and it's okay to experience all of them without judgment, without saying this one's good, this one's bad, I should feel this, I shouldn't feel this. It really just encourages you to get curious about your emotions, your feelings, your experience, and what that is actually like for you rather than kind of a preconceived notion of what sadness is or what fear is or what being a strong person is. I think that this can be a really important tool for people who are experiencing overwhelming feelings because it lets you approach them in a way that is a little bit more in your control, but not stifling what you're actually feeling. It gives you space and structure. So one of the ways you can do this is to set yourself a time, almost schedule a meeting with yourself. That's great, and say, okay, I'm going to pay attention to what I've felt today. You know, when I did my body scans, when I did my check-ins, what did I notice? And I'm gonna sit with that, and I'm gonna be really curious about where does it sit in my body and how do I experience that and how intense is it? And when it comes, how long is the wave? And how does it change as I sit with it? So, so really rather than following your thought process, staying present in what your experience is of that emotion.
SPEAKER_00That's great. One of the things that I love about recommending this kind of thing to clients is pointing out that we spend a lot of energy and time trying to fight our emotions. And if we redirect, you know, trying to push them away or not acknowledge them or bury them or whatever, we redirect all that energy that we're spending doing that towards something else, we actually recoup a lot of energy and space in our lives. And so if we stop and we just acknowledge, hey, I'm feeling sad right now, and you give yourself permission to feel that way and not to get bogged down in it or not to act out of it, but to just acknowledge that that's part of what you're carrying with you in your kind of emotional backpack, so to speak, for the day and continue to move forward, then we don't waste a lot of energy trying to push back against it or pretend like we don't feel that way or ignore it because that that is draining in and of itself, just trying to fight all of those emotions.
SPEAKER_01Right, right. And emotions will be felt. I say that with my clients all the time, that they're gonna be felt one way or another. And at least this way you get to choose the time and place they're not coming out in weird ways that you weren't expecting.
SPEAKER_00Yes, that's great. Before we wrap up, do you have any other thoughts? Um, just as we bring this helpful conversation to a close.
SPEAKER_01I think one of the biggest things is recognizing that sometimes this is hard to do on your own, especially if some of these you know ideas that we've talked about are new or unfamiliar. This is when your support system is really important. Your therapist is important. If you don't have one, there's a ton of tele mental health options out there. Um, I think that expecting yourself to be able to handle this alone is too tall of an order. It's okay to lean on other people. Um, I think that that goes for all of us, but especially people who have kind of pre-existing conditions.
SPEAKER_00That's great. Such a great thought to leave it on. The other thing I'd add is we have some resources on our website that anybody can download for free. They're on www.growcounseling.com. And then there's a link from our main page to the resource page. Um, and a free ebook on self-care, which I think is super helpful, kind of would play into some of the structure pieces that we're talking about. Um, these podcasts are hosted there. We have some free videos on stress. So we've tried to collect some resources that will kind of help people be okay through the midst of a really difficult and trying time. So thank you, Molly, for making the time to come on today. I think this was super helpful in just thinking through how do people who already struggle with to overcome mental illness uh have to kind of go an extra step to take care of themselves. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. Sure. All right, everybody stay healthy out there, and we will see you in the next podcast.