Ethan has another podcast! Enjoy the first episode of The Bigger Boat, wherein Ethan and his mom discuss Creature from the Black Lagoon. For more, check out The Bigger Boat wherever podcasts are enjoyed.

Humanity is insane and we’re the only ones who know it. Today, we banter a bit and then get into some heavy shit about China, genocide, the military industrial complex, and the insatiable avarice of Mars, god of War. Oh sacred WAR, we offer to ...

We’re back to ponder the hard questions like, was Stalin a good person? Having never received our check from President Xi, we start simping for Cuba, which has the advantage of still being socialist. Ethan runs through dread goddess Rona’s late...

Who’s to blame for the ongoing covid epidemic: individuals who haven’t been vaccinated for whatever reason? Or the leaders of the most powerful nation in history refusing to do a damned thing about it? We contemplate these and other questions, ...

How many kaiju do you think came through that rift? We contemplate a world on fire. Jason reminisces about the car he bought from a pirate, Ethan lectures from the Bible, and we check if some of our favorite places survived the pandemic. Plus: ...

Surprise—we’re back! We needed a break, but the world kept on turning. We return to shovel through the manure of our crumbling neoliberal order in a desperate search for content. Join us as we rant and rave about test-tube ten-year-olds, our re...

Wherein SquadCast screwed us out of audio. We brainstorm ways to accustom bears to the taste of human flesh. Jason reconciles with his father, Ethan collapses under the weight of feline affection. Plus: season 3 is here! (It was more impressive...

We reflect on what we’ve learned, if anything, from a year of podcasting in the shadow of our dread goddess Rona (praise be unto her). Jason reviews Oscar bait while Ethan thirsts for fictional bad girls. Plus: we get rich in a galaxy far, far ...

We’re a week out of date because Ethan forgot to edit last week, but who’s counting? Except you, Dev. We've heard your complaints. Love you! Pfizer punched Jason’s V-card, so he shares the experience. Ethan relives the glory days when rent in S...

Jason watched CPAC so you didn’t have to. You’re welcome! Turns out, the nazicons are up in arms about the alleged phenomenon of cancellation culture. Ethan gets canceled, Jason gets canceled, and even though he isn’t on this episode, Dev’s pro...

It snowed in Seattle! Our fur babies had mixed feelings. In this episode, we quit the podding business and move to Hollywood. Jason complains about Republicans for once, Ethan delivers a lengthy lecture on the tenets of fascism, and we weigh in...

America’s favorite blood sport culminated this past weekend. We barely talk about it because screw football! Instead, Ethan has dinosaurs on the brain, Jason discusses the finer points of pirate honor, and we fantasize about what kind of posthu...

Fake money burns and billionaires lose fortunes. Down with the stock market! Join us as we gloat over loser hedge funds and relive the glory days of drinking PBR tallboys in Parkland. Ethan puzzles over panzer waifus, Jason struggles with outra...

Today, we talk lighthuggers, Ice Mendicants, Ultras, Stoner wedding ceremonies, and best girl Ilia Volyova. Our verbal onslaught continues against Anthony Fauci, America’s most powerful octogenarian doctor, and we complain a lot about calls for...

Trump and his supporters made the weaksauciest coup attempt since Juan Guaidó. We talk about it. Ethan cackles and crows, Jason retains some semblance of humanity, and we try to set this event in the broader context of American empire, the puni...

Special guest host Dev returns to the pod to help us relive this nightmare year! We promise this is the best 2020 summary episode you’ll hear all year. Jason confesses that this was all his fault, Ethan announces his campaign for Seattle City C...

Look to find us where there’s conspiratorial nonsense to give too much airtime! Truly, these are our Elysian fields. Jason struggles to come to terms with life after Cats, Ethan mourns the loss of fifty thousand of our brave fighting b...

Today, we put the Butterball back in Christmas! By which we mean the cenobite. Jason tries to redeem Blade Runner 2049 in Ethan’s eyes, Ethan negotiates arms sales with Santa, and we bag on Anthony Fauci for being an ancient little weasel. Plus...

Aliens exist! We react to retired Israeli general Haim Eshed’s revelations about aLiEnS oN mArS. We have some ideas for a new shared universe of conspiracy theories. We’ll see. Remember, this is satire, folks. Plus: spoiler warnings for the pro...

This one's not as much of a bummer, we swear. Jason hints at a darker past laboring over food, Ethan rants about aircraft carriers again, and we get pretty deep into cultural criticism in the back half. Plus: our hot takes on Cyberpunk 2077! No...

Today, we take an in-depth look at a home quarantine situation. A boomer’s family locks him alone in his bedroom—how will he escape? Listen to find out! Also, Ethan ponders secret societies, Jason dissects robot religion, and we discuss the bes...

In another bleak episode, Thanksgiving is as canceled as Genghis Khan. This week, the boys remember they run a coronavirus themed podcast. Ethan fawns for Daddy Inslee, Jason despairs of humanity, and we all have a real good time. Plus: feeling...

Joseph R. Biden, Jr. (do we have to call him that now?), has been elected the 46th president of the United States of Murca. The boys complain about how he isn’t a pure commie snowflake. And maybe about how the Democrats need to pull their heads...

The boys wonder WTF is up with Dianne Feinstein. Jason extolls the virtues of necrocracy and Ethan explains why he doesn’t care if Iran is hacking the election. Plus: war, poverty, and the politics of deindustrialization in a galaxy far, far aw...

Jason goes on a long rant about the literal devil, Ethan talks about that one time he almost beat up a kid, and they speculate on Trump’s health. Also, Jason’s cheating on his demons. With rocks. Welcome to CrystalCast! Plus: how to kill your d...