Finding Contentment in a World Full of Choices

Ever felt the gnawing anxiety that you're missing out on something? That there's a world of experiences passing you by? I've been there too – stuck in the vortex of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). But the truth is, we can't catch every opportunity that comes our way. The world is a whirlwind of experiences, events, and moments. It's impossible to seize them all, and that's okay. Tune in to join me as I unravel my personal journey of coming to terms with this reality, shifting from the despair of missing out to the joy of selective decision-making.

Life's about choices, about picking the experiences that truly resonate with us. It's about liberating ourselves from the shackles of societal expectations and pressures. And most importantly, it's about self-acceptance. As we navigate this world teeming with opportunities, we need to be gentle with ourselves, acknowledging the fact that we are not separate from nature but an intrinsic part of it. Through my insights, I hope to inspire you to break free from the clutches of FOMO, find contentment in your choices, and discover the beauty in living life on your own terms. 

Transcript

Heidi Marke: 0:00

Welcome to the Overwhelming's optional podcast, where each week, we find ways to gently rebel against the nonsense that overwhelming exhaustion are just the price you pay to have the life you want. Let's talk about FOMO Fear of Missing Out. So I don't know about you, but it's very, very easy for me to get overwhelmed by all of the amazing things I could do, and then I can get anxious about running out of time, getting older, all sorts of stuff which is really unhelpful. So in that situation, that's a really classic example of my mind creating overwhelming pain completely unnecessarily. And as I don't do overwhelm anymore, i think thinking about FOMO differently is really helpful for me, and this is what I came up with. This is what. This is an insight I had the other day Fear of missing out. The truth is, we're going to miss out By definition. We can't do everything. It's impossible. So I was driving to see my son to take him out for his birthday, and I went past a sign and it said and I don't even know how you pronounce this, please forgive me, but is there something like brocante or something? I don't know what that means On the day before and the day that I was driving past the sign and there was like this sign to this special car park in a field and it looked quite like a nice country event thing And I was like, oh, i didn't know about that.

Heidi Marke: 1:34

Immediately my mind went into I wonder what that is. And of course that's what the signs are designed to do. They're designed to get you excited about it and make you want to go. That's advertising. I mean, there wasn't any major marketing, there was just an announcement of it. But it looked nice, like the sign looked nice. And I'm like, oh, i'm missing out. And there's all these things going on in the countryside that I don't know about And they might be really important and I'm missing them out. There might be some really cool people then that I could be having some really good conversations and could be having more fun And I could be doing more. And that's where my mind was going. Like it really hit the FOMO button. It's really interesting. And then I reminded myself that actually I don't really want to go to any more things. That's the truth.

Heidi Marke: 2:20

I booked into some big event which was sold to me as a networking event and it was fun. It looked like a really fun evening. I didn't go to it. It's really interesting. So it was one of those things Do you do this where you think that'll be a really good idea and it sounds amazing.

Heidi Marke: 2:37

But the truth is I don't really like things like that. So my mind think at the time it's like but it would be good for me, it's an expansive thing to do. Now that might be true, it might not be, but at 55 I pretty much know what I like And although I would argue that I'm always growing and changing, i think I'm getting a better sense of what I like and what I don't like. And I don't really like going out to big events in the evening. That much I just don't Not anymore. I used to do that, not that bothered. I really really like my life as it is And that doesn't mean I'm not doing and growing. It means I'm being more picky about what I choose to do because I know myself better and I'm more accepting of myself. And the truth is, as an introvert, i don't really like going to big events that much. There you go. That's what it was. Which is really fascinating that driving past that sign, my mind immediately went into you ought to find out about more events and go to more events, because that doesn't make any sense, because the truth is I don't want it at all And I just don't. I just I already have such a rich life And the more that I tune into my heart, into my body, get out of my head and let go of these expectations that I ought to be doing more things or going to more places or doing things other than the ones that I really, really want to do, the more I let go of that, the more freedom I find, the more joy I find in being myself, in accepting this is who I am at this point now. But I'm open to the fact that at some point I might really want to go to some of these things. That's okay, but right now I'm getting so good at going, as you know, and I think that the thing that we used last week if you caught last week's episode, the Hell Yes technique, the Hell Yes and the No, not, for now It's not the brocante thing, whatever, i don't know how to say it, i don't care how you say it. I later drove past a poster which had pictures on it and I think it was some sort of like country living interior design type thing. So I mean it might be lovely. I don't know, although I can see how that would have resulted in me and then going.

Heidi Marke: 4:52

Not just fear of missing out, but fear of not having the like, very well interiorly designed house, like that's not going to make me happier. I like our home anyway. We're renovating. We're not really at a stage of buying settees and stuff just not. So fear of missing out. Let's think about a different way of thinking about it. You're always going to miss out. That's it. Once I reach that stage, I was like, ah, so there's no fear about it because it's definitely going to happen. You're definitely going to miss it, like death and taxes definitely going to happen. So we can now go death, taxes and missing out.

Heidi Marke: 5:34

You're always going to be missing out because you cannot be in more than one place at a time and if you're one of those people who's still trying to do absolutely everything and packing your life in so tightly that you have no space and and no room to spontaneously do anything, or you fit in so many people during the day that you're almost planning to leave before you've arrived, or you're always late, or you're always letting people down, or you know it's hard to prioritise things and you're tired. Well, are you still going to everything? is it worth it? I don't know. There's times and I mean there are times in my life when I've just said yes to everything and had crazy years, and that's been fun. There's all the learning experience, isn't it? it's all what suits you now, what works for you.

Heidi Marke: 6:20

But if you have FOMO, overwhelm, exhaustion, trying to keep up, is this helpful to you? if it's not, obviously chuck it away. But I like this. I really like the idea of oh, i'm always going to have FOMO, although, no, i'm not always going to fear of missing out. I'm always going to miss, be missing out on something. Drop the fear. We don't do fear around here. Don't do fear, don't do overwhelm, don't do pressure, don't do exhaustion.

Heidi Marke: 6:43

Therefore, accepting I'm always going to be missing something, and you know what that's a really good thing, because what that actually means is that I live in a country where there are loads of exciting, creative things going on. What a joy. So it's a gift. So there's masses of things I could do, but I'm only going to do some of those things, so they need to be a hell, yes, and even then there could be too many things. In fact, there's always going to be too many things. And that's good, that's exciting, that's a expansiveness, that's a oh, i could do that or not, or not.

Heidi Marke: 7:20

Because the truth is, while I like going adventure into the world, particularly into, i hate it when we say into nature. That's really bugging me at the moment. It's different if you live in a city. Well, those cities have got tons of birds and trees and foxes and stuff. So I don't really I don't like this going into nature as if we can exist outside of nature. That doesn't make any sense, even if you live in concrete. But Stuff's gonna grow and it just does. And you're eating hopefully you're eating live plants, otherwise That's not great, but We're not separate from nature. I just a be my bonnet that one anyway for me.

Heidi Marke: 8:02

I love, love, love being outside chatting to my plants. Every morning I wander around my garden and appreciate all of the plants. I have my animals, so that's a big thing for me. I'm planning a trip, lots trips actually, with some camping and going to beaches and walking, and yeah, that's what I like doing. Actually, i prefer doing that to going to organized events with lots people. But I have noticed that during my life I've often felt like I ought to go to more events and there's been times when I've enjoyed them. But in general, do you know what I like? being at home a lot, and that's because I've set my life up where my home is the place I want to be. I'm in my dream home. I absolutely love it.

Heidi Marke: 8:47

So That's what I've got for you to dump FOMO, overwhelmed by FOMO, fear of missing out. Except you're gonna miss out and that's okay. The important thing is are you Listening to what really calls to you? Are you doing the things that fill you up, that nourish you? Are you taking deep Size of satisfaction with all of the good stuff in your life? or are you missing out on your own life Because you're so busy trying to hold your life together?

Heidi Marke: 9:20

That's the missing out really, isn't it? the missing out on feeling at home in your own life? That's the real concern. Overwhelmed robbs you of your life. Going to loads and loads of things and trying to keep up Tends to pause over. Well, depending on what kind of person you are. So I'm missing out on your life because you're overwhelmed and exhausted and you're pushing against yourself. Or Are you just missing out on things because the world is full of glorious opportunities. Either way, let's dump the fear and the overwhelming oppression or exhaustion. Have a great week. Thank you so much for being part of this podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please do take a little moment of your time to share it, like it Etc, to help other people find it. And if you'd like to know more about my work, please go to wwwtidymarkcouk.