How To Set AND Achieve Your Goals For 2025

One of my favorite weeks of the year every year is the week between Christmas and New Years. I sit down and reflect on the last year and plan out my goals and dreams for the new year.

In this episode, I’ll guide you through how to set attainable goals. Let’s go into the new year striving to be the best versions of ourselves… Let’s dive in!

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.

If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.

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🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com

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Transcript

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Yearly Goal Setting and Reflection

Speaker 1 0:00

In this week's episode , I take you through one of my favorite things that I do every single year , which is goal setting . I take you through the process that I go through every year to think back to what happened this past year what are the things that I would love to see happen in the next year , and then actually plan out what that's going to look like . In this episode , I'll be encouraging you to write things down , to actually do this , so that you have a plan for working on becoming your best self in 2025 . Also , stay tuned for next week's episode because we drop something brand new . There's going to be some fun changes to the it Starts With Attraction podcast , so make sure that you're following us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcast . Or , if you're watching us on YouTube , be sure that you're subscribed so that you don't miss the new and exciting changes coming to it Starts With Attraction . Let's dive in to this week's episode . One of my favorite weeks of the entire year is the week after Christmas and before New Year's , and the reason this is one of my favorite weeks is because , over the past two to three years , I've become very intentional with taking this week as a time that I set aside for reflection , looking backwards as to what has happened over the past year , but also as planning , where I'm looking forward to the next year and outlining the plans and the goals and the dreams that I have for what I would love to see happen in that following year . You see , for me what I used to do is I used to do the whole New Year's resolution thing where on January 1st I would think of something I wanted to do different that year , and one year it was that I was going to read a book , I think . At first it was a book every week and I realized real quick that reading 52 books a year is quite difficult . So I think I changed it to two books a month . But even then it was something that I really only stuck with for January , february and then kind of just got off the bandwagon . Life got in the way . I stopped focusing on it and I stopped reading and therefore , come summertime I looked backward and realized that was not a New Year's resolution that I could ever follow through with . Well , I take that back . I could have followed through with it , but I didn't set myself up for success in being able to follow through with it , because I didn't do the process that I'm going to share with you in today's podcast .

Speaker 1 2:28

Now , I'm not saying you have to do New Year's resolutions . My husband is very much against New Year's resolutions for that exact reason . He doesn't want to just set something or say that he's going to do something and then not follow through with it . He wants to be intentional about what he says and what he does , which is smart , and I want you to do the same , which is why , three years ago , I decided that if I wanted to actually meet my goals and achieve the things that I wanted to achieve in my life , then it was worth me taking a week of my time , putting most everything else I could off my plate , taking time off of work Kids were already home , so maybe finding a babysitter or taking them to the grandparents' house during the day for a couple of days and allowing me to have the silence , the time and the space to think . How often in our daily lives do we drown out the noise , silence the noise and put ourselves in a position where we can think about what we really want to do with our lives , and that's probably one of the most important things we need to do . So what I want to encourage you with is to become intentional this year in looking backward and planning forward so that you can get the most out of your goal planning , your goal setting and achieving the things that you so deeply desire to do with your life . I call this my time of planning forward , thinking forward , dreaming forward , looking forward and making a plan to succeed . So here is how it works .

Speaker 1 4:11

During this time , I typically take two or three days where , for four or five , six hours each of those days , I'm turning off my phone , getting away from my computer , taking an actual notebook and pen and maybe getting out of my house , either going on a hike or going to a coffee shop , and I'm just getting away from my normal routine so that my brain has the ability to disconnect from all of the things that my brain is going to say I need to do , I need to unload the dishwasher , I need to check Instagram , I need to check my email . No , I don't need any of those distractions during this time . This is my time . For me , I view this as the ultimate form of self-care , because I'm taking time for myself and really , really narrowing down and narrowing in on what's important to me and where I want to spend my time over the next year , so that I can be in control of my schedule and where I'm putting my eyes , where I'm putting my time , what is getting my attention throughout the year , as opposed to other things getting control of me .

Speaker 1 5:17

That's not the way I want to live my life . See , the struggle is we get caught in this hamster wheel of life and we keep doing things the way we have always done it , because it's easy or because we're busy , or because we don't know where to start to do things differently in order for our life to look different . What I have found is that taking this time , a couple of days at the end of every year , really helps me to reset and recharge so that I know where to focus and what to do in the coming year . I found that the best way to start doing new things and creating change in my life is through this special time that is my end of year planning . So here's what I do I get to the silent spot , I pull out my notebook and my pen because I'm super old school and I start with looking back . So I look back to the entire year , that has already happened .

Speaker 1 6:09

So in this year , when I'm recording this , this year has been 2020 . And I'm actually in the process this week of doing this exercise that I'm talking about , and so , as I'm looking back into 2020 , the first thing I start with is what are my favorite parts of the year , what have been the best things that have happened , what have been major successes or things that I wasn't even planning for , couldn't have planned for , but ended up happening anyway ? And , of course , in 2020 , when we look back at the things we couldn't have planned for , that's probably going to be the majority of it . But in this first part , I'm really focusing on what am I grateful for and you know what , even with all of the craziness of this year , I have so much to be grateful for . So , as I'm writing , I am writing out how I am grateful that I have been able to spend more time with my children than I ever thought possible and , yes , while that has been a struggle and very draining at times , it has also been something that has really brought me and my children and my husband closer together more times than not , because we've actually been together Real quick . Just as a side note , when we look at the research of what makes strong families , it's not quality time , it's quantity time . So this year , even though it might have been stressful many times , you can rejoice and be grateful for the fact that if you have spent more time with your spouse or your children because of the circumstances of this year , then it is creating a stronger family , so always something to be grateful for .

Speaker 1 7:47

When I look back at 2020 , I also see that with my company that I'm the CEO of , with Pies , and with Marriage Helper , with Marriage Helper , we were able to move so many things online that we never would have done otherwise Our workshops , all of those things . Also , the time this year that I was able to be out of the office and have more time to think and to write and to journal also led to the beginning of this podcast . It was something I always wanted to do , or at least for the past year , it's really been on my heart to do it . Like in 2019 , it started being on my heart that I wanted to do it , but 2020 allowed me the space to do it and it ended up looking different and being in a different location than I thought it would be . But because of the events of this year . I was able to start this podcast , which is something I'm grateful for .

Speaker 1 8:38

I also look back and I can be grateful that we have been safe , that God has provided . There's just there's so many things I could write here , and I want to encourage you to do the same . Think back to some of your favorite parts of this year , some of the best parts of this year , and just let your mind go as to what you're grateful for , and if this fills up 15 pages , then that's amazing . There's definitely no limit , because this is one of the most important parts of what you're doing , because you're really going to see . After you do this and look back , you're going to start seeing a theme of the things that make you happy , that brought you joy and that brought you gratitude .

Speaker 1 9:22

A lot of mine , when I look back at it , end up being that , while I would have never wanted to work from home , I'm really grateful for the fact that I have the time with my family , that I have more control over my own schedule and that is going to inform me about decisions I want to make going into the next year , because I can see the things that worked for me , whereas if I didn't take the time to , because I can see the things that worked for me , whereas if I didn't take the time to look back and see the things I was grateful for or the favorite parts of the year , then I might miss including those things in 2021 , which is the year after when I'm recording this episode . Another thing that really worked amazingly and I loved this year was my husband and I took a three-day weekend for my birthday . The kids went to grandparents' house , we went and stayed at a hotel in Nashville , so we didn't go super far , but we did a full spa day . We did all the works because , oh my goodness , did we need it ? Because we had not been out of our house for what ? Six months . But that was something I ended up loving and definitely a tradition I want to keep with my husband in the years going forward , where we have for my birthday weekend , a weekend of pampering , a weekend of being together and a weekend of eating delicious food , because , let's be real , it's kind of my favorite thing in the world . But looking back and seeing those things are going to be helpful to you After that .

Speaker 1 10:46

Then look back and think of the struggles that you've went through this year and how you overcame them or are overcoming them , and ask yourself what lessons have I learned in the struggles that I've encountered ? I've shared some of this in the podcast , but one of the biggest struggles that I have encountered this year has actually been a health struggle where , at the beginning of this year , my doctor did a hormone test a lot of hormone testing on me and found that my body is accumulating cortisone metabolized cortisone , which is basically after cortisol goes into your body , and I'm sure this isn't 100% accurate . So any medical professionals you'll be able to . Cortisone metabolized cortisone , which is basically after cortisol goes into your body , and I'm sure this isn't 100% accurate . So any medical professionals you'll be able to understand this or help me say it even better . But basically it's like when cortisol occurs in our bodies , then our body needs to get rid of it and my body basically just takes the cortisol that has happened and kind of puts it in trash bags , so to say , and puts it out to the curb so that the trash service can come and get it . But the trash service is never coming .

Reflecting on Personal Growth and Priorities

Speaker 1 11:54

So there's just this accumulation of stress in my body and up until this year I just thought this was normal , that the impatience that I had or how quickly I would get stressed out , or the anxiety that I struggle with , that this was just how I was , this is how it had to be . And it wasn't until this year where , first of all , I realized I wasn't crazy and I actually did have something medically going on that was leading to this enormous amount of stress that I would feel , that was leading to this enormous amount of stress that I would feel . But also , it was this year that I had to realize that I had to make changes in my life in order to reduce stress , and stress is one of the leading causes of health problems . And it's easy to think , no , it's fine , this is just how it is . I just need to work harder , I just need to , you know , not get as much sleep so I can get everything done , and we don't think about the fact that we're going to pay for it later because it doesn't seem as imminent as a current medical diagnosis . But if these are the things that lead to that in my future , then I want to fix it now .

Speaker 1 13:00

So that has been a struggle for me redoing my life being a person , me being a person who , I guess , apparently , is a type A person . I love to get stuff done . I love to always be working . I'm not a person who rests . I hate to rest . This year I had to learn how to rest and that might sound ridiculous to some of you that that's been a struggle , but you have to realize that I have tied my worth into what I do and so it's actually very difficult for me to not work , to stop , to not even work out on a day , because I'm tying my self-worth to it and that has not been healthy .

Speaker 1 13:47

This year I've overcome a lot of my disordered eating thoughts of how I would have fear I mean panic attacks , thinking about even eating a pizza which isn't healthy and I've had to overcome how I view my body and how I love myself and the way I talk about myself and the way I think about myself , and that has been difficult , but it's been so freeing . I've had a lot of struggles this year because of what's been happening in 2020 with my anxiety . I've struggled with general anxiety disorder for at least a decade now and this year has not made it easier and I've had to really , really pause and point and call out the things in my life that aren't true , that are fear-based , that I've had to stop my mind from ruminating on thoughts that are destructive , and that's been difficult , but I've been working to overcome them through relationships , through prayer , through journaling , through meditation , through taking more rest days , through emphasizing sleep , through getting rid of coffee , and many of those things have worked for me . So , as I'm journaling and thinking about this past year , I'm going to write what my struggles have been .

Speaker 1 15:06

My husband and I we've had struggles even in our relationship this year , as we've been at home together more than we ever have before , and the stress of the year leads to more tension in our conversations , even with political differences and things that are happening and ways that we see things differently . We've had to learn how to navigate those conversations by listening to each other with respect and remembering that we are on each other's team and , at the end of the day , we love each other . Those are the things that I want to remember how we overcame those or are overcoming those either me personally or things with my family . It's going to help me see what I want to continue to do next year , and then the next thing that I ask myself is what was something I wanted to do this year but I didn't get a chance , and is it something I still want to do ? Going forward , or have my priorities changed this year ?

Speaker 1 16:06

I had grandiose ideas of so many things happening with our office , with things that I'm doing with . It Starts With Attraction and Pies University , and a lot of those ended up getting put on hold because my attention was needed other places . My attention was needed with my family , my attention was needed with my husband or with my kids and I needed a break . I needed a mental break . So now I look forward and I say are those things that are still priorities for me ? And a lot of those things are difficult for me to give up , because part of it kind of makes me feel like I'm giving up on myself .

Speaker 1 16:47

Maybe when I went off social media three and a half months ago now , that was a very difficult thing for me , because one of the priorities that I had for this year was to really do more on Instagram , connect more with others , grow the audience . So that I had for this year was to really do more on Instagram , connect more with others , grow the audience so that I could be a voice of hope and truth for other people . But in September I was burnt out . I had started my PhD , plus my family , plus the businesses that I run , and it was too much . But , honestly , it wasn't out of this place of courage and confidence that I left social media . It was from a place of I'm scared that I have tied a lot of my worth into what I'm doing there and how people are interacting with me , and so it was scary for me to leave . But I knew I needed to for my mental health , for my family's health , for a lot of reasons .

Speaker 1 17:48

And now that I've had three and a half months of being off , there's definitely part of me that , when I'm looking forward , I'm asking myself is it something that I want to go back to ? And I do , but I'm going to be way smarter about how I do it . Going forward , but think about all of these things for you . What are the things you have been grateful for , what are the struggles that you have had and overcome or are in the process of overcoming , and what are the things you wanted to do but didn't get a chance ? And then the next part of this is you begin to look forward . So it may take you a day or two , just in looking backwards . It may only take you an hour , and that's totally fine as well . The point is that you're taking the time and you're being intentional about really focusing on this , and then , when you start to look forward , this is where things get exciting . Now you are primed in your mind of the things that you have appreciated and found joy in in this past year , things that you are proud of yourself for doing , things that you are viewing as accomplishments and successes , and so this is the perfect time for you to begin thinking of what you want to do next year . So one way you can do this is simply by starting a list of things you want to do next year and just write down what comes to your mind .

Speaker 1 19:15

I had a friend ask me this a couple of weeks ago . He said , kimberly , what are your goals for next year ? And he had just told me about his goals that he had made for himself , and I was loving the things . He said Kimberly , what are your goals for next year ? And he had just told me about his goals that he had made for himself , and I was loving the things that he said . And when he said , what are the goals that you have for next year . I honestly hadn't yet thought about it because I wasn't at my end of the year yet , so I hadn't put too much thought into it , although I had general ideas and I just started listing things .

Speaker 1 19:39

The first thing I said was I want to invest in more friendships in the Nashville area . One of the things I've realized , especially this year , is that I have friends in Alabama or in California or in New York , but I don't have a ton of friends , or at least good , close friends that live in my area that I can get together with for lunch or go to coffee with or go for a hike with , and that's something that I know that I need . But more than that I really want . I want those , I want that camaraderie , I want those people that I can call on a day where I'm feeling down and just go meet with them . That's something I think we've all missed a little bit in this year . So I said I want to invest in really focusing and being intentional on developing three friendships in the Nashville area people that I can be close with and then I continued on from there .

Speaker 1 20:38

I said I want to really be intentional next year about every quarter , taking a four-day weekend with my family and going somewhere , and it doesn't even have to be extravagant , it can even be a staycation where each day we're going hiking at a new place or going to the zoo , or maybe we do go somewhere closer or maybe we go to the beach , which would be amazing . But I also want to take two weeks out of the year next year to do a bigger trip with my family , or even with just me and my husband , depending on where we want to go . And the reason that is important to me which I'll explain the importance of knowing this later is because I crave adventure , I crave spontaneity , I love new experiences . These are things that rejuvenate me . This is a way of relaxation for me being able to see the world in a new way , see new things . I love this Eat new food favorite thing in the world . So that's something that I really want to focus on prioritizing as I go into next year and taking the time to be intentional about doing it with my family as well .

Speaker 1 21:49

When I was young , my dad was a very well-known speaker , traveled all over the world and all over America speaking , and one of my favorite memories as a child I mean a young child , four , five , six , seven years old was going with my parents when my dad would be speaking in Colorado and New Mexico and Hawaii , california . I went to so many places with my family and that really instilled this love of travel in me and new experiences , and it's something I want to give to my children as well . So all of these things are important to me . So when I'm looking forward into next year , these are the things I'm thinking of . Another huge one that I had is I really want to start volunteering . I really , at least one time a month , want to go somewhere and see people connect with them , do something to help the community , my local community . That's something that's really important to me . It has been for many years , but it's something that I've gotten out of the habit of doing and I really want to be intentional about doing it again next year .

Speaker 1 22:56

Another way that you can look forward and begin planning to the things that you want to happen next year is view it in terms of the pies , so you can begin asking yourself physically , intellectually , emotionally and spiritually , where would I like to be at the end of the year If I get to December 31st 2021 , which is this next year . So , depending on when you listen to this , just change the dates . But if I get to this last day of the year , what would I love to look back and have accomplished physically or intellectually or emotionally or spiritually ? And maybe you fill in all of those , or maybe you just focus on one of those areas , and it could be whichever one you feel most strongly about going into the year . If you have an intuition or you feel like you're being guided into really focusing on one area , then don't force yourself to do all four right now . Listen to yourself and really focus on that one .

Speaker 1 23:57

Maybe you look at the emotional part and you say you know what it's all about connection with other people , evoking emotions within others . They enjoy feeling , being self-aware of myself . So how can I be more emotionally attractive ? What are some things I can do ? If I get to December 31st and look backward , what would I like to have seen happen ? And maybe you begin saying you know , I want to see that I spent more time with my children . Or maybe you're saying I want to see that I spent more time with my children . Or maybe you're saying I want to see that I dealt with my anger issues , or I dealt with my addiction , or that I did some deep work and got therapy for a past trauma that I've gone through , or I've forgiven someone who's really hurt me . Whatever that is for you and only you know .

Speaker 1 24:40

You begin to write that down , and right now we're not going to get into the specifics of how you're going to do it . We'll do that in just a minute , but at least get the big idea out there . If it's physically , then begin asking yourself what that looks like At the end of the year . What do you want to have accomplished ? Is it that you want to gain weight , that you want to lose weight ? Is it that you want to have accomplished ? Is it that you want to gain weight , that you want to lose weight ? Is it that you want to have eliminated things from your diet that don't make you feel good ? Or you want to get your blood sugar better , or you want to have less chronic pain , or you want to sleep eight hours a night and have good , restful sleep .

Speaker 1 25:15

Whatever it is that you want to accomplish physically , write those things down , and if you have 20 things at the end of writing it down , then we're going to need to narrow some things down or at least compile them to make the list shorter , but right now there's no limits . Just start writing down what is coming to mind and is important to you and that is the most important part of this when you begin looking forward into the dreams and goals that you want to achieve in your life . If it's not important to you , then you don't need to do it . You don't need to write something down because you've heard other people say it , or because it's what your parents wanted you to do , or it's because it's what you feel like others are expecting of you . No , you only focus on the things that you have a strong passion for . Why ? Because if you are not committed to , then you won't stay committed . If you don't have a passion or a drive to actually do any of the things that you have listed , then you're not going to follow through with them . And then you're going to get to the end of the year , look back and you're going to feel bad . You're going to feel like a failure . But you didn't fail , you just chose the wrong goals . But it can easily put you into that negative cycle of saying see , I can't do anything , but in the grand reality , you were letting other people tell you what you needed to do , or at least the voice in your mind of other people telling you what you needed to do , instead of doing what you wanted

Creating Specific Goals for Personal Growth

Speaker 1 26:49

to do .

Speaker 1 26:49

Going forward Now , caveat here , of course , I am trusting that you are self-aware people who are not completely selfish and prideful and are just going to be doing things to make you wealthier or greater or more successful at the expense of the other people in your life because that is not something I would ever condone but that you're looking to become a more attractive person in all of the areas that we talk about , in all of the pies physically , intellectually , emotionally and spiritually . And if you're doing that , then you're focusing on other people , on how you can do greater good for the world , on how you can love people better , on how you can show up and be a more present and active part of the relationships in your life . And so when that is what's guiding you , then I believe that your desires and your intuition is going to be better than if you're simply focused on all about you . And if you're saying well , right now I do feel like I am focused on all about me . Maybe you're trying to grow a business , or maybe you just know that you struggle with pride and ego . Then that might be one of the things that you want to work on changing in the next year . But , all of this being said , you need to have a strong why associated with each thing that you want to do .

Speaker 1 28:07

It's easy to say I want to lose 10 pounds , or I want to go back to school and finish my degree , but why are you saying it ? Is it because you feel like it's low-hanging fruit ? Everyone says it . It's January , of course it's the time I need to say that I need to lose a certain amount of weight . But do you really want to ? Do you really care ? And it's okay for you to not . You might be saying I need to go back and finish my degree . Okay . Why do you want to ? Is it because you know if you have that degree , you're going to have better opportunities ? Is it because you really have a strong desire to learn ? Is it even just because you want to show yourself you can do it ? Those are all great reasons , but it needs to be important to you , because if you're only doing it to make someone else happy , or if you're only doing it because you feel like then you'll love yourself , else happy , or if you're only doing it because you feel like then you'll love yourself . Those are not the reasons to do it . It's okay to not finish a degree . It's okay to not lose weight .

Speaker 1 29:05

If you don't want to do it , you need to do the things that are going to make you the healthiest that you can be . Of course , I advocate for people to continue to learn and to be the healthiest that they can for their age and situation in their body and to take care of yourself . But at the end of the day , you might have a warped view of what your body should look like and you might be chasing something that , honestly , isn't even attainable . Nor should it be , because maybe it's not even healthy for you to be what you think in your mind that you need to be chasing . And if you're the person who is constantly doing the yo-yo dieting , or you're trying and it's not working and you just don't know what to do , then maybe you need to take it off of your list that you need to lose weight and maybe instead you need to focus on you want to sleep more , you want to feel better , you want to eat foods that make you feel good . All just suggestions . Of course , you have to do what you are excited to do .

Speaker 1 30:08

So after you've listed all of these things out what your goals are , what you would like to accomplish then you go back through and you make them specific . So you don't want to just say I want to feel better emotionally . You really need to get specific of what that means . Where do you not feel good emotionally now ? I've seen it a lot of times this way , where a husband will say I want to be a better husband . Great , I support this 110% . What do you need to do in order to be a better husband ?

Speaker 1 30:35

Specifically , why do you feel like you're not doing it now ? Is it because you're not spending enough time with your wife ? Is it because you and your wife are fighting a lot ? Is it because you haven't gone on a date night in five years ? What is it specifically you're looking to change ? Because then you know what actions to take only after you know the specific things you need to do . So if it's , I feel like my wife and I fight every time we talk . We just can't seem to get along .

Speaker 1 31:03

Okay , great , now you at least have an idea of where to start . You want to have better conversations with your spouse , so what can you do in order to get to that end goal ? You could begin by starting the year saying hey , babe , listen , I know that we tend to fight a lot and I apologize for what I have done in that happening . I don't want that to be the way that we communicate with each other . I love you , I respect you and I really want to do my part in letting us and helping us to have better conversations where we don't fight as much in the future but we listen to each other and can really learn to compromise and agree . So what are some things I can do to help that happen ? That might be a place you start where you simply ask your wife .

Speaker 1 31:50

You could also become more mindful of when you begin to get angry , what things are triggering you and becoming very intentional about stopping the fight before it starts . If you feel yourself getting angry , if you know you're about to say something that is going to just get on her nerves , be aware of that and stop yourself . You may even decide that you want to be very proactive in this and you want to get in something that's going to help you change your behavior . I encourage all of the people who are listening who are married , to try and attend one of the workshops that Marriage Helper has that is so amazing at helping to reset conversations , communication , understand how to communicate in a better way Three days of amazing content that I guarantee you will change the way that you interact with your spouse going forward . But begin to do something that's going to change that . If you know you need to work on yourself and your anger , then begin to do that . There's some ways to do it with a great counselor , or you can even begin doing that by finding a mentor , finding a friend who you believe can help you . If you go to coffee with them and you can start sharing the things you're struggling with . A lot of times , we can begin to change even just by having a close friend who can be an accountability partner . Journaling and meditation help as well .

Speaker 1 33:12

But whatever you decide you want to focus on , then get specific about what that outcome is . If it's that you want to sleep better , how are you going to do that ? Are you going to start setting a bedtime ? Are you going to change the environment in your bedroom ? Are you going to get an aura ring , which is something I recently purchased and I've had it for three weeks now and it has been amazing looking at the insight of my sleep patterns and how I'm sleeping through the night . Not sponsored , but I recommend it . I've really liked my aura ring so far . It's a ring that you wear on your finger and it tracks your heart rate and all of these things , so it can show you your activity level through the night , through the day . Very interesting stuff .

Speaker 1 33:55

But get specific about what you want to do and then from there , once you know what you want to do , once you understand your end goal , once you realize the actions you need to take to get there , once you realize the specific things that you need to do to get to that goal , then you begin to work backward and say so what do I need to do on a monthly , weekly or daily basis to get me there ? One of the things that I mentioned earlier was I want to be more intentional about investing in three friendships in the Nashville area . So if I look to December 31st and I say by December 31st of next year I want to have three people where I would feel comfortable calling them on the phone at any time where I would feel comfortable going to lunch with them once a month and I am actually making the time to do that Then I can begin looking backward and saying so what do I need to do on a monthly basis in order to get there ? Well , first I need to find these friends . This might sound ridiculous . I need to identify these friends , and so I have some people in my mind who I think I would want to start with and just and just begin to call them or ask them to go to coffee or ask them to go on a walk , and then finding those times to connect , being intentional about it , putting it in my schedule and scheduling . Every month , this is a day that I'm going to spend time with a friend , so I need to find who that's going to be and begin to invite them and just intentionally invest in the relationship . And it's the same with .

Speaker 1 35:37

One of the other things that I had was I want to do a better job meal planning next year , because I know for me that if I can eat in a way that I feel good , if the food that I'm eating makes me feel good , then I will be a much better person throughout the day , and if I don't have something easy to make on hand , then , especially working from home , it's super easy to grab the chocolate or goodness , whatever else is in the fridge who knows what it might be leftovers from my kids , food which is not things that typically make me feel good . So I need to have meals that are quick and ready and easy to eat , but also delicious , because , you guys , I love food . So what can I do ? If I'm looking at December 31st and looking back , then at that time I want to be able to say I am in a habit of every Sunday I am getting my groceries , I am prepping food , I am meal prepping so that throughout the week , I am reaching for food that is healthy , I know what's going to be made each night of the week , so that I , the week I am reaching for food that is healthy . I know what's going to be made each night of the week , so that I don't have to worry about it every single day . It frees up my mind for decision-making . So then , how can I work backwards and start changing my life in order to do that ? Well , part of this is just beginning to schedule it and making the effort , knowing that's what I'm going to do on Sundays , and getting into that practice of doing it on a

Improving Supportive Role in Marriage

Speaker 1 36:57

nightly basis .

Speaker 1 36:57

Some of these can be a little more difficult , so one that might be harder to wrap our minds around is is that one of I want to be a better wife ? How specifically at the end of next year , would I want to look back and believe that I have worked on becoming a better wife ? For me , man , this is an interesting one to talk about . So for me , I would have to look back into 2021 and say that I want to feel like I've done everything I can to support my husband . He has .

Speaker 1 37:31

When my husband got out of the military four years ago , it was a very difficult transition for him into the civilian world , as it is for many , and when I look back , especially on those first , that first year or two once he got out , I do not believe I was supportive . I do not believe I understood how he was feeling or where he was coming from , and I was viewing what he was going through from my very type A personality of just go , do something like I don't care what it is , just go . I don't think I was supportive of him and I don't know . I think if I were to ask him now , he would feel like I am supportive of him . But I personally don't feel like I have been as supportive towards and to my husband as I can be and as I should be . So when I look backwards from next year , I want to look back and see that I was his biggest cheerleader .

Speaker 1 38:31

So how does that look ?

Speaker 1 38:32

What would I have to do ? So how does that look ? What would I have to do ? This could be that I intentionally , every week , go out of my way to say something encouraging and nice to him , that when he comes to me with ideas or thoughts that I encourage , before saying anything about how it may not work or has he thought of this ? But instead I'm supporting him . I want him to see me as the most supportive wife in the world . So what can I do on a monthly , daily , weekly basis in order to make that happen ? How can I go out of my way to give him more hugs , to give him more human touch , so that he physically knows I'm supporting him ? Hugs to give him more human touch , so that he physically knows I'm supporting him . And those are the ways that I can begin to make my goals , set my calendar and set my priorities for things that I want to do next year , in order to look back and have achieved the goals that I had and ultimately become the person that I want to be Now . I want to encourage you to not overload yourself , and if this is something you are new to , then I want to encourage you to do less than more until you get a hang of how this process works . You can always do this in February , march , july , october . It doesn't matter when you do it March , july , october . It doesn't matter when you do it . The point is that you become intentional about looking forward and begin to plan your life so that one day you don't look back and feel like your life is gone and you don't know what you did with that time . We want to get on the forefront of that , be proactive rather than reactive , and really become intentional about what our priorities are , how we spend our time , who we spend it with , how we spend our money , what impact we make and what legacy we want to leave in the long run . I hope that this has been encouraging to you , and I hope this is a practice that you begin to implement every year , whether it's at the end , beginning , or somewhere smack dab in the middle , wherever you do it doesn't matter , as long as you begin to do something that's moving you towards being the person that you want to be .