Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart
Welcome to Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart—the podcast dedicated to empowering men to break through barriers and achieve their full potential.
Hosted by Lachlan Stuart, this show dives deep into the challenges men face, offering actionable insights, real-life stories, and expert advice. Whether you're focused on fitness, business, personal growth, or fatherhood, you'll find inspiration and tools here to help you rise above any challenge and become the man that can.
New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Tune in, get inspired, and start living the life you’ve always wanted.
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Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart
From Prison to Personal Development: Redefining Life with Mindset Coach Jeffrey Morgan #501
Ever felt stuck in a rut and wondered if it's possible to break free and turn your life around? Prepare to be inspired by our guest Jeffrey Morgan, a successful mindset and leadership coach, whose incredible journey from prison to personal development serves as proof that it's never too late to change your life. Through his engrossing narratives, he showcases the sheer power of resilience and determination in fostering personal growth.
Growing up in a turbulent environment and serving an 18-year prison sentence shaped Jeffrey in unimaginable ways. His life story is a testament to the fact that, no matter where you come from, you have the potential to rewrite your future. His experiences have now become a source of inspiration for those looking to break free from the shackles of their past and prioritize what truly matters in life. You'll be intrigued by how Jeffrey dealt with his sister's suicide and other personal challenges and how he used his setbacks to fuel his mission to help others.
As we wrap up Jeffrey's powerful narrative, his views on youth crime and ideas on how communities can better support young ones take the limelight. His compelling vision for the future, his aim to leave a lasting legacy, and the broader impact he wants to make in the world will leave you reflecting on your own journey and aspirations. Tune in to this life-affirming conversation, where you'll discover the importance of surrounding oneself with positive influences and the courage to make necessary changes in your life.
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Do Something Today To Be Better For Tomorrow
Welcome to another episode of the man that cam projects podcast. I'm your host, lachlan Stewart, and today We have another truly inspiring guest with us, jeffrey Morgan. Now I flew down to Sydney to meet up with Jeff. There was something about him that I was like this podcast has to be done in person, and We ended up making an awesome trip out of our time in Sydney, got the next couple of episodes recorded there as well, with some other brilliant guests.
Speaker 1:But There was something about Jeff that I was just like I need to be around this dude and really understand where he's come from, because, as you'll find out in this episode, his story is Tremendous. Right, it's one of transformation and resilience, a journey from prison to personal development. He's turned the trials of his past into a mission to help others, becoming a successful mindset and leadership coach. And now, in this episode, we're gonna delve into Jeff, his life changing experiences in prisons. He's spent up to 18 years in prison. Right, that's a long time you think about if you were to have to just spend a couple of weeks in isolation by yourself, let alone. 18 years, like that is over half of my life. That is, you know, mind-blowing. Okay, we'll also explore how his past experiences have shaped his current work and mission and how he uses his journey to inspire and Help others in the personal development space.
Speaker 1:This episode is a testament to the power of transformation and the belief that it's never too late to change your life. So, whether you're facing challenges in your own life or simply looking for a little weekly dose of inspiration, this episode is going to be for you, and thank you everyone who took time to listen to last week's episode, episode 500. Now the podcast has been going for over five years and the continual growth is obviously an added benefit. But my own personal journey of Improving communication, getting to meet and share so many inspiring stories, has been the best part about it, and If you guys want to continue sharing your support, please keep sharing the episode. Make sure you leave a rating and review, and you can do that right now. Just open the app, hit the button, leave a quick review, because that helps me continue to bring on Greater and greater guests each and every week that you guys want to hear from. That's enough for me. Let's delve into today's episode with Jeffrey Morgan.
Speaker 2:The man that can project podcast, a podcast in powering Redriven men to live more fulfilling lives. We are here to challenge your beliefs, redefine success and talk about the important stuff in a relatable way. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. My name's lucky Stuart. Let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Welcome to episode 501 of the man that can projects podcast. I'm your host, lucky student. Today We're down in Sydney. We got Jeffrey Morgan on the show. How are you, brother? I?
Speaker 3:am good. It's been a long week and it's even Better to be sitting at the end of the week with yourself.
Speaker 1:I had definitely a good way to finish.
Speaker 3:You were saying you've done 30 odd workshops or something this way 35 I think about 35 this week, nearly five a day, and this way has been pretty full on, obviously, a lot around men's mental health and a lot around just helping people of a mind to struggle mental health and well-being level and It's been powerful. It's been a powerful week.
Speaker 1:Before we dive back into how you got there, i first heard about you through Cooper Chapman, who runs a good humans a podcast. Your story really Jumped out at me because there's a lot of people that I feel will be able to learn a lot from how you've turned your life around. But Throughout the chaos of the week that you've just had, you know, engaging with a lot of people, dealing with probably a bit of resistance and stuff like that How do you manage your own well-being and energy throughout that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, i always put time in that space and this is for everybody. Whether you're you know, if you work from a nine to five, i obviously I've got my own business. I'm travel anywhere in the world, but I'll put time into that lock So it might. I'll just block it out and I might say two hours chillax in my actual weekly plan. I'll do that every Friday and that way I know what's coming in that week. Because if I don't, the money's great. But when I was a PT before, as you know, and start at 5 am And finish at 9 pm, back-to-back sessions fully booked out for a long, long period of time and I just burn out, i was running on empty the whole time. And that taught me a valuable lesson never to take into any part of my life and make Sure that I balance that life out with not only some chillax time But maybe you know, just walking a dog and having two hours. I'm not rushing around walking a dog, talking to the missus and you know, just loving life.
Speaker 1:And how do you go about structuring that? a lot of our listeners are CEOs and people in high management position, so they will find themselves in the position where work takes priority and it is easy to see the bills That you know the money rolling in. You like I want more of that. I want more of that absolutely how do you Go about to use a calendar, your phone And I guess, listing out your priorities? What's that process look like for you? Absolutely.
Speaker 3:I've got a whole bunch of stuff power 100 in the morning. So the power 100 is like a hundred things that you could do before you kick off your day in any way, shape or form towards Your business, the business you work for. Then I have an hour of power 12 minute blocks, 5 minute Segments no segments are once again, same thing around what's important to myself, type through my hip flexor, let's get a stretch on want to read about something, to head towards something. I'm speaking about that week. These little segments allow you to start to be very powerful in conversation, in knowledge foundations Lay upon land that allows you to step into spaces and places where people want you to be a part of that. But, most importantly, you're still managing yourself And I think a lot of people in this day and age.
Speaker 3:As you know, it used to be nine to five, now It's five to nine and that spacing you know, on the back end and and at the end of the days, get towards, let's say, an organization that you don't even get paid for but you want to work your way up through those ranks. Yeah, and that's a hard of seeing, i think if you're going to dedicate hours. I look at it now, especially obviously later on, once you find out where I came from. The context was is that worth the effort that I was Putting into that space? and what if I put that same time-managing effort into another space?
Speaker 3:I E my online business, the e-commerce side of things. What would happen? and it's taken off and obviously allowed us. You know, i could live from mcnos and I spent those eight hours that you're putting into another organizations, their goals, dreams, our Inspirations, which is cool if that's what you want to do. I'm not here to judge you, but I just want you to be conscious of What if I put that same time into another space? would I make more money if money's the driver for yourself, and have more freedom of time to do what I want with who I want and how I want? and that's yeah. That's something I became very conscious of through the life that I lived in, how I got to this space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, opportunity cost is a very important one for people to think about. That they often Definitely overlook, like when you're saying that they, i'm thinking you know I get clients coming through and we've scaled out, scale that, our Academy one. It's awesome because we get a lot of, you know, like-minded people that I can learn a lot from. But two from a time point of view, you deliver and results in a shorter amount of time and I also get time to them. Focus on health, my relationship and things like that. But when you look at an invoice for a one-to-one client as opposed to a group program like the one-to-one is quite juicy, isn't it? But I know that sacrificing that now and delivering more into those programs in the long term is going to trade off. And yeah, as you were saying that opportunity cost, a lot of people don't think about that and it don't have the time. Yeah, don't have the time and I always think about it. You know, when I was a chippy, i Never had the time to do anything.
Speaker 3:Absolutely and.
Speaker 1:I see a lot of people who start in families and they're now stressed about finances. They don't have the ability to, you know, be stayed home, stay at home dads, etc. And when I met my wife 2018, when I was a bit of what I would call myself a degenerate, my goal then was to put myself in a position where I could be a good role model, i could work from anywhere in the world, and you know What's it nearly 10 years now to put myself in that position. I've been working at that and there's always been a cost of that and that's been, you know, limited drinking, limited Partying, which I used to love doing, absolutely. But I've invested my time in other areas to build networks and skills, etc.
Speaker 3:And a lot of people will go down that path where they want the party life or they want the materialistic financial things, the clothing. But my biggest thing to everybody is, even in that space, if you spent 10 years worth of Not even I think, i think personally, if you give one full year Towards that direction, give up the party and even you know you're in a corporate space, give up that time where you say I'm going to dedicate it to them. Actually I'm going to dedicate it to myself now. But with those eight hours, don't just jump out and say, alright, i'm not aiming to be the CEO of that company. What I will do is be the CEO of my company to give me that freedom of time to be the father or to travel to these Locations. I'd love to do and I was.
Speaker 3:It's one thing I do with my group. I say what's your ideal life? look like one of the first things. And when they write that out, then I say show me your weekly planner. So show me where all that stuff is in your weekly planner. And we do this with billion dollar companies. You see, is the leadership groups and management teams, and they look at it and they say it's not in there. I said when was the last time? one group the other day, not, she is 30 different People within the group had not traveled for five years with their families, five years.
Speaker 3:So we went around a group and you know, financially, if you you secure, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Do you feel secure in the sense that you've got a great family, that you're spending time with? What happens if you drop dead? What are you doing it for? and I said I die for my family. I said but would you live for your family because your family? Do you think you'd be any good to them if you died? even in using your analogy the money side of things, you're the you know money maker for the family. You're actually going to take yourself out of that scenario.
Speaker 3:And then what happens? So there's just, you know you bring these light bulb moments to people and it just means that we take two seconds. We prioritize our time to make sure we step into a space where we allow ourselves To be more knowledgeable around how we can really utilize that time. You've done it Well, and I'd rather spend ten years working on my own dreams, set myself up for the rest of my life to be the best of my life, then spend the rest of my life in a space, chasing a particular title or label, ceo of whatever company where I'm giving up my time and life towards them, rather than the things that are actually truly important to myself. Have you always had that outlook.
Speaker 1:Well, let's, let's go back to you. Know you, so you grew up in red phone, didn't you, good old?
Speaker 3:reference just up the road, Yeah let's, let's go that.
Speaker 1:I was walking by us. I saw the sign. I was like we got Jeff on the salon. He's a local. So let's go back to the, the younger Jeffrey.
Speaker 3:Yeah, start there. 12 years of age I had jumped out of a window first four window files has been physically abusive. That was his way of discipline and, yeah, a lot of what he taught me in that process taught me values for life and I'm forever grateful and very Disapplied in the way that I act and it was the things in the way 12 years he only had with myself. In those 12 years He really got me to a point where that's still well. You know, those habits and rituals are still well within my life. Get out on the streets I'm doing my best to eat and sleep where I could and, yeah, family, friends or stuff of that nature.
Speaker 3:And when I say that probably ran away from family because dad was so physically abusive, i didn't want to get caught in the sense like I was singing and mate He's gonna whip my butt. Stayed out, got into crime, found money one day in one of those shops and it led to a life of crime, 25 years of crime and by the end of that I've been locked up Over 18 years as a bank robber body. End of it, locked up in Melbourne, serve seven years. I was just this week actually was the 20th anniversary since my last post yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So it's been a journey And, as I said, you know, if I can come out and I'm an X cream in people's eyes and I'm happy, i'm cool with whatever labels. I know I have total awareness of who I am and what somebody says about me isn't my business. I keep rolling towards what I want to do and I've always been of that nature. I think my old man once again the discipline of not worrying about what others think. Focus on what you need to get done And by the end of that, you know, as I said, i get out 2010 going to the personal training sort of thing 216. I'm starting to burn out.
Speaker 3:I noticed it at same thing like yourself. Like I'm out partying, bender and every weekend Having great times with friends, but missing out on life, having traveled, spent 18 years in a cell, on and off, like here and there, for seven years, on the last one, five years before that, three years before all these different sentences, and one of the promises I have made to myself was to travel as much as I could when I got out, came out for those six years making great money, bender and on the weekends and sister commit suicide. I'm doing these. You know these talks about mental health, about health and well-being, even in the fitness industry, and it was littered people who all through that industry, as you know, Not a knock on people each today, and you do what you want to do.
Speaker 3:I hate to judge anybody, but I got to a point where I just pulled myself up on a bullshit and, like yourself, you know, i sat there and I was just thinking about it when I walked in. I think one person actually pulled me up, actually like two people, one on the bender in will party and with a mate, and he said mobs, i love what you do, brother, i love all your content. Yeah, well, who you are and what you're about. Hey, you change your life. I mean, you're sitting here doing this. It's a bit of a contradiction. And I was like fuck.
Speaker 3:So I just pushed a plate over and I said mate, i wish you all the best. Brother, i'm gonna cut. And he goes. You J. I said here, take this as well. And he said are you joking? I said nah, as modded will finish it. I said nah, but you? just? this light bulb went off in my head and I was thinking I can't truly be good good with myself and sit there in front of somebody and say, hey, we should be doing x, y and z for our health. And I just got out of and that was like an integrity Yeah yeah, i did know what I mean like.
Speaker 3:So I came out and it was I was living good, i was doing, making better choices, but there's components of my life, integrity, boundaries, these things that were just missing and as a man, i still don't even think I was a man when I came out at that point because I was making these decisions weak Boy, i can, weak boy decisions, yep and then I started to become take some ownership towards that and I started to become a man and I Then I went from, in my terms, a man to worry, where I practiced it for a long period of time And I put the shield on, the sword was in my hand and I was ready to go to war at that point in time. And that's just that's in a journey in yourself in itself, where you become vulnerable, and to do that you got to dig deep within yourself. That's probably that second conversation. I'd had a bloke. I hung around, he'd seen my partner. So I was like, well, get your back in this term in my head. I get to end up sleeping with his partner thinking it was all cool and dandy And his mate, who was my mate, technically said, i had more respect for you.
Speaker 3:I didn't think you would like that. You caught me every name under the sun And instead of me going if you come, fight me, old school way, how we grew up I just sat there And I you know what He's right. And those moments I want more of those types of people around me, because it shifted me from the man or no, the boy into the man, and then from the man, solidifying those same habits and rituals that were really strong in being present and keeping people safe, secure and stable in an environment to trust me more And also have the integrity to the words that came out of my mouth. Not just through words, but through actions as well, and consistent actions for a long period of time, like yourself, 10 years now. So I respect you for doing the same thing, bro. It's a journey I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:You touched on a few key things there, that the first one being trust. As you mentioned there, you had that made of yours. Who pulled you up on it? A lot of us. Our relationships are very superficial. We don't want to upset people and vice versa. We don't like confrontation so we don't call people's poor behavior.
Speaker 1:You know, when I played footy over in France and when I came back I was just destroyed with drugs and alcohol and stuff like that Because I lost my sense of identity and all the people that I was hanging around loved it because I had time to party and do all this sort of stuff. And you get that recognition and sort of stokes your ego up when you're partying and carrying on. But I knew how I was behaving and how I was treating women and all of that sort of stuff. Just inside didn't feel good, but I didn't have anyone to call me on that. I remember sitting in a gutter and I tell this all the time one of my closest mates we were dating sisters at the time And we'd both been out and cheated on our partners that night and we'd sit in the gutter going fuck did it again.
Speaker 1:That happened a number of times and none of us said what the fuck are you doing? That's disgraceful. But then obviously, as my environment changed, people like if I have here people doing that, i'll call them out on it because, that's not the standards that you have.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. I love that. I was in a car the other night with my partner and son right And he looks across and my partner says, oh, i feel sorry for that bloke. He's hunched over, he's by himself and the sun turns around and says, yeah, he doesn't have good friends, does he? And that's the type of conversation, as you said. I want to be around people that I could rely on and know If I think of going to war with this. Would I go to war with Lucky? And then you think, no, he'd borrowed 20 bucks but he didn't even pay me back. You reckon he's going to back me up when shots are fired or something of that nature, and you've got to think bank robberies.
Speaker 3:Back in the day, the crew I ran with we ran for 20 years And I knew that if Lent shoot went down, could I trust them? Things that happened So I could trust them in my head. I would have done things for so long to know that they were staunch in that world And that allowed me to step into a space very strong and firm. But yeah, that was the values, morals and beliefs of that world And when I stepped out of it I still was crossed over between both. And, as I said, you sleep with my girlfriend. Well, let's pay you back to twisted. And then same thing. Like yourself, the only recognition I got from people was a high five when I pulled the Blondie in the club, or something.
Speaker 3:You look at it and people think it's a good life. But then you go home and you sleep and by yourself, and sometimes there was times where money would just go out the window and you think I shouted everybody. not one person has given me a call. I'm going through a hard time myself or my sister commits suicide not one person calls. But on the weekend there's 500 people around me because I'm shouting everybody And you realize that there's a difference between friends and associates. I'll call. there's over two things associates, business or whatever it may be. friends step into your lounge room and have dinner with yourself And those people when I invite them in, i've got boundaries now if they're at a point where I'll have that pulled up conversation And if they don't want to be a part of that respectfully, where we all sit in a space respectfully, and then I'd rather be. you know, i'd rather have one friend then have 100 people just leeching on sucking a blood dry out of myself.
Speaker 1:Do you mind if we talk about when your sister took a life, like how you dealt with that, because suicide impacts a lot of people and not many people talk about it until it is in your circle, sort of thing. But it is a big, big issue. How did that hit you and how did you sort of navigate your way through that? Did you turn to drugs and alcohol or did you take a more positive route through that?
Speaker 3:Brother had committed suicide two years before and saying things very like very Your brother had as well.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so before this two years' price. So what had happened is I was at work. I get a message sorry about your brother on my lunch break and I was like what about my brother? And they said oh, don't you know. And I was like don't I know what. And then I said I'll just ring your family. and mate, i was like what happened? What happened? I was like I'll ring the family and I said, mate, your brother's unfortunately done something to himself in the middle of the day playing football down in Victorian AFL and unfortunately was no longer on this planet.
Speaker 3:So two years later I think, when that happened, i had my brother commit suicide at my partner. leave me locked, locked on my joking, just out of the blue. We cooked dinner, we had a bit of a play around, kissy, kissy, and then we walked down to the car park and she says I can't do this anymore. And as far as I was concerned, i treated her well, but obviously in the background things had happened and she just, for whatever reason, tane family wanted a different path and I wished them all order. very. I actually put my hand on a shot and I said look, if that's what you want to wish you order very best. she drove out of the car park and the rest was history. But the gym shut down. that I was working at all. in this one time. I had 70 K in my account, paid my tax, invested in the app, bought my son a car. I left myself with a thousand. Gym shuts down, she leaves brother, commits suicide, no money in their account and it just went from zero to you know from here at a zero in two seconds And then you look back on it and it just. I think that I was a bit numb about it all with the brother and because of cross-table with the break up the business, i was trying to scramble and get to another gym, get the clients to come to the gym. The closest one was a distance and it was across a main road down here in Sydney, which meant the hour. It was just a hard time and I think you know I navigated half decently. I think I was just numb. I was doing that to be honest And by the time I was someone who always appreciated, learned to be abundant of a mindset and I said well, you know, i'm going to sit back, think about what I'll do.
Speaker 3:I did about 18 months where I had a lot of money come into my space not long after that probably when I say that, probably six months after that And I was able to sit back for a little bit of time. I sold something, sat back, use that money to sort of just think about what direction do you want to take in your life. But in that six months, man I had, i was waiting for this, i was borrowing money, i was minus, i was trying to scramble and get more clients again And it was a tough time And I think because I was just so busy with the business I didn't get time to really truly sit back and say what happened with the relationship, what happened with my brother. But at the time the sister rolled around and passed on. I just went I'm going to make sure I appreciate every single breath that I take on this planet, man.
Speaker 3:And instead of being down in the dumps, i actually I wouldn't say I celebrated, i'm, i look for the positive out of it and just said what can I do to actually celebrate? You know that, not as a, once again, not celebrate. What could I do as a positive to learn from this experience? And I said I'm going to wake up and actually be grateful for every single breath that I get, every single time that I wake up. And that was the how I sort of flipped that attitude really quickly. And once again that came out of left field and there's no, no signs for both those and what's over went through their social medias, you know, and the only thing I found in both was my brother had written if life is this hard, death must be easier. So, and that was about three months before, that was the only thing he'd written And my cousin had said say that again, i'll come smash you, or something of that.
Speaker 3:And I give you that to him on this on the on the actual post is still on there on the comment. So if he would told me that, i would have said well, brother, said what's going on, what's the problem? It's not really a problem, it's just a question of the body. You feel that specifically. But you know, turn and this is for everybody. That breakup, what did I learn from it? I always say if there's a negative, what's the lesson from it?
Speaker 3:so you can grow and prosper And that each one's like a brick to your house. You're building to build a solid foundation so that you have some. You know, your emotional intelligence, iq, whatever you want to call it is at a level where you're not carrying. You put more bricks into place to appreciate what you already have, man, and the most important thing we have is life.
Speaker 1:Well, said It's magic. You were mentioning having time to think. I prioritise having time to think every day and it sounds wanky, but like it is so valuable to me to process things, have ideas, try and form my own opinions and beliefs around things. In a day and age where your phone's always ringing or emails are coming through and people are on your case, especially people in business, right, there is limited time for thinking. How beneficial was that six months roughly that you got to just sit and think about the direction you're going to take?
Speaker 3:your life, monster, because I've done 87 talks that you already locked. So I did 35 this week. Yeah, I know, yeah, she's growing.
Speaker 3:But I did 87 that year. By the time my brother had committed suicide. So I went wait a sec. I sat back and I don't think if I hadn't, if the gym hadn't shut down, i'd probably still be there, like that's the thing. And then my brother committed suicide. I'd still be there grinding out these sessions. It was a great train And when I started with 60 bucks an hour, i pushed mine out to 250 for the hour booked out from 5am to 9pm.
Speaker 3:My breaks were liquid, as much as they could be. And then I'd go through and I'd like, literally because I weighed everybody in to show on the body fat percent change in that week And then measurements. I'd only do once a month, as I did that, not with the measurements, but put them on a scale of chewing to something one bite, chew it, talk to them and then walk out. And that was my way of just getting through those. Yeah, so I caught slowing it down to speed it up. So you actually slow down, you think about what you want, then you move towards that direction And it's like you know, at war you're not just going to hear bullets, you just run out anywhere.
Speaker 3:You know you might hear bullets. You have a look. You see where they're coming from. We can take cover across here. We're going to move from this point to this point related to that being very conscious and aware of how precious your life is. At that moment Because that's the direction of intention versus distraction I can sit and say, all right, what do I want to get out of life at this point in time? That's six months And you know, even now there's things in your phone. You can make time out in your phone, even during the night. I make sure that I turn it off, i put it on flight mode. Yeah, like all that.
Speaker 3:So all these things put out in the lounge room like being intentional, you can get in the bed and scroll. So many people, even CEOs, tell me oh, scroll and look at particular things, whether it's the stock market or something of that nature right.
Speaker 3:Business opportunity emails and so forth. So when did you downtime? When was the last time you kicked the football or shot a netball here in Australia with your kid? And people in general say, oh, i try and do it every now and again And I was like, well, when was the last time you can actually picture that? And some of them tell me like, oh, it's probably been a good year, like a year, since you kicked the football. I wouldn't say it in that regard. Yeah, i just say it's more in my head. I'm saying that. What are you doing?
Speaker 3:What the eff are you doing Right? But then I just come out and said if you haven't done it in a year, when do you feel, based around your current schedule and how you think and programmed, will it ever happen? If you put them into a little round circle, they're the individual. You press a button, all the things come out and about their thoughts, behaviors, actions, beliefs, they're all geared towards one thing the corporate, ceo, business side of things. As an example, what do you think you're going to get out? What are you going to do? Are you functioning the same way? And if 90% of what was in that circle is how you operate tomorrow, i guarantee you're going to move towards that. Possibly you might run past as you go from your car to the office in your house to continue to visit. The ball bounces over, you kick it back to your kid and you keep walking. That's about it And one of the things I learned as a young kid that I pass on to or those that watch you.
Speaker 3:I didn't feel the love from my parents And it damaged me. For a long time I was like stuff the parents. Years later, funnily enough, when I came back, my uncles and aunts had told me that they fought not to give me up. They'd actually given up my younger brother for adoption. I didn't even know that happened until mum had leukemia. Seeing the family train like who to F's David, david passed on or something still born, and all the aunts look at me and go oh.
Speaker 3:I'm not telling you. Mum will tell you. You've got another brother. I couldn't afford him, so they had nothing. They've really struggled. They didn't have the skill set.
Speaker 3:This day and age gives you so much more opportunity. I suppose He came over from Australia as an immigrant to make you do And as a baker used to try and gamble to win money and get the big win and get us out of there. So it was just all toxic man. But you look back on it and you think that you're not love, but what they were doing in his head around that gambling he was thinking I'm going to make do for my son. I love him. And same with my mum. She cooked as much as she could. She got a job as a cook so she could just get food on the table because she obviously wasn't as skilled. And it's just my biggest advice to any person that watches this make sure you give as much time, but let your kids know that what you're doing in a space is for them. Put some time aside to actually be for them, because everything in any circle as an example you're teeing off. You know the little T's I always use this analogy.
Speaker 3:Like it's a T, you put it into the ground, put the golf bell on top, tiger Woods hits off. That T is time, energy and effort. And if you don't give that to anybody on the other side of the coin in any relationship, they're going to feel that. Whether that's your business partner, whether it's your partner, your husband, your wife, your kids, they're going to feel that and they're going to say mate, i don't want to be in this space anymore. Do that on a team and you sit on the bench every game. I can guarantee you don't put the time and energy and effort into your training, learning the moves within the team or something of that nature. How the structure is. I guarantee you sit on the bench and you don't want to be sitting on the bench. All life for yourself. Well.
Speaker 1:I guess it goes back to what you were saying before, when you were saying have a look at people's calendar and it can tell you what direction people are going in. And a lot of people, men that I work with it as well, they're like I want to. You know, i'm doing this for my kids, or I'm doing this so I can have a year travelling around the world. I'm like OK, well, show me a calendar. Have you scheduled 30 minutes a day with each child? or not a day, but a week with each child? And they're like no, i'm like well, you're not going to have the opportunity to have that relationship because it's like daily deposits.
Speaker 1:In any relationship, you're either withdrawing, and that means you're not putting time into it, or you're depositing, meaning you're doing little bits, even if it's five minutes, right, one to one or whatever that looks like, and people often overlook that. The same with a lot of guys who are like I'm setting myself up, i'm going to travel the world in 10 years time on my way. You're travelling now And, as you said, a lot of people you know haven't travelled for five years. How the fuck do you know if your systems in your business are going to support you to travel for a year if you don't take a month away now.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and you've got to learn to separate yourself and gain that feedback, so I thought that was interesting to tie that back into what you were.
Speaker 3:That pivot on that. just really quickly People got to understand when the gym shut down by the commit suicide relationship breakup. it made me pivot to a different direction And that, you know, even in sometimes we think it's a bad thing, but I look back on it. What was the lessons that I learned from that? So I grew and prospered And that's what I did. I went fuck, i'm going in a totally pivot this direction.
Speaker 3:And I went all in, grabbed my balls And, like I always did when I went into a bank and pulled the balaclava on and stepped into life And all it takes is to, you know, literally grab your balls and have a real crack at what you want within your life. but a structured crack where we think you can be, you can use up. you can say I work for 16 hours today, loc, but 16 hours didn't get you to closer to the life that you truly want. And if that meant, you know, do you want to spend 16 hours in the office? or your life never see what's outside those windows? And that's your. you know your title tells you that you're king Dingling each day. And if that's what you, you know, lights your world up, don't bring a kid into the world and just go bores to the wall of down that path. That's a conscious conversation you can have with yourself. but people don't bring four, you know one kid, four kids into the world.
Speaker 3:step in that space, 16 hours You reckon your wife's happy at home. honestly, 16 hours You come home buggered. I was so buggered, mate, when I was to pick up back at that point in time, lock as a PT, 5am to 9pm Monday to Friday, 8 to 12 on a Saturday, i swear the first thing I was thinking. I hope she's got to come for your bed. I'm not like I swear to because once it's done I can have a mad. Sleep right, roll over and have a snooze. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then you get any. oh, i've walked in bed. why do you? why do you keep bed in my head? You know, like a twist. That's how twisted it is right.
Speaker 3:So imagine if you're doing that to yourself in life. you're showing up, going. you want more. You just want a different way of life. You think it's great to sleep with a person but realistically, you're so burnt by the rest of your life that the proportion of your life towards what you say is the ultimate way of life damages you more than it actually.
Speaker 3:And then you know, lights you up and just have a look at it. What percentage of it is actually lighting you up where it is balanced and there is some time for yourself, kids, partner life, travel, driving, whatever you want to drive, experiences, dive and wish I don't know what it is jumping out of airplanes. go and do it. Make sure it's in your schedule. And I look at people. I ask them show me your schedule. It's the first thing. I ask them look. And soon as they tell me I want X, y and Z, I'll get them to write that ideal life out, whereas in your schedule gives a look and they're just like what now? And I was like right now. I said, bro, you got four hours, six hours. you tell me you don't have time. you got time. You just is it a laziness thing for you? So what do you feel that it is for yourself? And when I say that I obviously don't say it in that regard, but it's more that I point them in the direction Why what hasn't happened in your life that could happen, based around what you've told me you would like to happen? But it, you know, to me it's in the background. I'm thinking this is a laziness thing. This is I'm someone who can have that conversation. A lot of them know my background, So I'll just say you don't want to get got in jail.
Speaker 3:If you walk into jail and you just walk in like a pussy, you're going to get got, period. People can't say yeah, it gives this mate. As soon as you buy your buyup, which is the food you get every week, you're 60 bucks worth of food. if you're lucky, because you've worked, some people don't get that amount. They get 40 bucks and people walk up and just say use that. Is that like your breakfast, lunch and dinner? Is that just snacks and lollipops? Snacks and lollipops. You get noodles. you get to eat. sometimes, if you're lucky and you save up or people put money in your account, you get a Breville TV stuff. Some people go through their whole sentence no TV, people bouncing them for their foods. And even if they get a TV, people take their TV and say shut up and say anything, i'm going to do something.
Speaker 3:And this is where, as men, the boy becomes a warrior. or they say as a little boy, and you know, i think jail, 18 years of jail, made me grow up really quickly. Was it violent in there? Very violent. But every day is battle mode, soon as the door opens. better be prepped, and it's one of the reasons I train my ass off. Yeah, boxing everything running, kicking, anything you couldn't do or do it, and be prepped for war man, and that's the way you should go into life. Life is war.
Speaker 1:But how do you feel that frames your mindset coming out, obviously, coming from such a condition for 18 years, essentially to be, violent, it is war And obviously it's. When you say war, it's door, but not necessarily the physical context in the streets, we probably go straight back in. Yeah, but how was it for you transitioning out I coming back after 18 odd years in prison to then transition him back into the civilian world?
Speaker 3:It's more like, probably just keeping you ego in check, to be honest. So if someone says, hey, what are you doing? You cut me off and say, get out of the car, I'll give you a left talk. Firstly I thought about it If I give him the left talk in my head not that I was like that, anyway I'll go back to jail. Is that where you want to go? So I'd had that conversation in jail. So you know I had kids that say, get out, mate, I'll smash you And I don't even know what this book is talking about, whatever, And I wouldn't worry about it And that I think that process went on in jail Because there was people that would say stuff like but I was able to say it back in a way that I was still strong and staunch for myself. I didn't have to fight.
Speaker 1:Avoided conflict.
Speaker 3:Yeah, i start, whereas I didn't care about the conflict in the past, i started to just say, hey, let's see if I can manage this in a different way. And we found a common ground and we were both happy at the end of it. And then, like there was race wars when I was there And I've been with the Aboriginal crew within there You'd have Islanders, leathernees.
Speaker 1:As little crews in there Yeah absolutely Don't talk to them.
Speaker 3:One of the things I did was the total opposite. I want to talk to everyone and they're like you are fucking nuts. And because I could walk over and they just saw, attack me and that would have been it. You could be the best fighter, it wouldn't matter, one in the wrong place And many people had gone down in that process. But I had the belief that I could talk to people and communicate effectively And that became huge towards these CEOs, these organizations, these communities to make you know Aboriginal community.
Speaker 3:I walk in and I say I want to talk about the health issues, but I want to ask you a few questions. Does everyone put your hand up? if anyone likes their family being buried early, put your hand up. If anyone likes their family being locked up and it's a badge of honour And we go through it. Put your hand up if you like suicide in the community, and I said so. Now we've defined that and that allows us to see something, because they won't see that otherwise. Now we can have a conversation And that's what I did in there. I did the same thing. So by the time I got to that lock and someone says get out of your car mate. We left On my business. You're literally like I know what I could do. I'm cool with who I am.
Speaker 1:It's quite a unique skill you have, though being able to help people think about the consequences of what could be and then work it back and see how the actions actually influence that.
Speaker 3:Huge reverse engineering, as you know. For me that was huge. I say, what would be the end outcome in this situation? So in jail it was like, i imagine, if we could all walk around and help one another, train together, not stress with.
Speaker 3:So every unit I went to, and even in when I was in Lodden, which was the last jail I was in, i got caught to the governor's office and you got the attitude, stuff to go on. I'm going up there, i don't even want to talk to them, what do they want? And then he said I'm 80, wants to see? He said I have to tell you that I'm very impressed. I've never seen the job this quiet and everyone's getting on with one another and so forth. And it's because I just got everyone to see that we were better off getting on with one another. Well, i said to them I'd say did you bash the cop of that? arrest you. And he said no. I said why not, brother? I said you want to be tough with me, but you didn't bash the cop of that, arrest you. I don't get it. What about the officers? then? Let's run a riot and we'll smash the joint up. This is how you would talk to them And they'd sit there and the light bulb moment would go off and say I'm on your team and you want to fight me?
Speaker 3:We're on the same team, brother. So we got that little conversation going and there'd be more context and depth today, but that's just the gist of teaching myself effective communication, helping a billion dollar organization seeing that burning their staff out was less productive than actually pushing them to the absolute limit. So they got that deal done, bring it, scale it back a bit. Now we've got 10 of those deals done. Wow, i didn't think like that. Put these pods into your work, give them fire 20 minutes where they can go and just chill out. No phone in the pod, stuff of that nature. And people like we don't have the time to do it and see what happens, trial it and, sure enough, things would happen. And out of that process they say I'm very happy with where we went, we never thought about it, we're too busy.
Speaker 3:We're just driven towards an outcome and it's like anything. No Formula One car goes out on track drives. The whole race on the same tires has to come in. They'd love to stay out and stay ahead, but if they stayed out they'd actually slow down rather than speed up, and that's an analogy that I pass on to anybody that watches this. Give your staff the break. And I think now the last couple of years, covid taught people that there is the potential for people that work from home to be more, to be happier in one sense, where they got to see their family, kids, dogs, whatever it may have been, get out during the middle of the day, do a walk near their home and then get back home. But now, how do we master being able to still connect with people? And if some organisation's got them back into work and they were able to interact on Monday and Friday three days at home during the middle of the week, and they've got a sort of healthy balance in between?
Speaker 1:With all the effective communication stuff that you obviously were practicing in prison probably one of the hardest places to implement it. You mess up there. You get your head punched in, as opposed to just getting someone saying, no, Was there a pivotal moment in prison for you that made you pick up books? or even prior to prison, were you introduced to personal development or where did it sort of pop up in your life?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's interesting. That's a good question. I think it was like I was so intrigued by Arnie and all that the 18-years-old when I first went to jail. even prior to jail Men's Health and War Fitness Funny story I was about to get a big six-page spread on Men's Health and they literally said mate, we've gone bust just today.
Speaker 1:When was that? yesterday?
Speaker 3:That was just recent, So I was like I always wanted to be, and I never went down a path of it. even when I was a trainer, i wasn't fast-forward, i didn't care. But they came to me, we'll do a six-page spread on the story and we'll talk about it. And I was like, yeah, awesome. And the week they went to interview me they said, mate, we've gone bust, they're done. Yeah, they're done.
Speaker 3:So, you won't see them. I don't know how many issues they're still got. I don't even know if that's public knowledge. but Antigra, Yeah, I wish you would have Sorry.
Speaker 3:Men's Health. Yeah, it was more that You get those in there magazines and car magazines or fitness magazines So I just read about the human body. I'd train Arnie, other people back then And I'd just go mate, i'd love to be like that And I think that yearn for knowledge went out to that. And then I started to read other things around business. People would come through and I'd talk to people. I'd talk to everyone And those that had misappropriated funds never been in trouble before. I'd get as much knowledge as I possibly could from them And they'd tell me different things I'd never knew about how to invest your money and so forth And I was like oh, wow, so I could get that money and start the duX.
Speaker 3:And that's how I sort of basically started to transition into understanding business, understanding, just acquiring knowledge, and then the yearn for books. So I just got books constantly in red There's so much power in books.
Speaker 1:In your interview with Cooper, you were mentioning how obviously you were stealing cash from you know off the teller's bench, and you had this epiphany later on that it's like that could have been someone's last X amount of dollars that they were going to do something important in their life with a newer pinch in it.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of youth crime, especially in Brisbane. I don't know what it's like down in Sydney, but I'd imagine it'd be similar. Yeah, definitely, and you were obviously doing stuff when you were younger. Why do you feel that's happening and do you feel like the system set up to help these people change it? because i see a lot of stuff on the page say, cast all on their own, tick tock.
Speaker 1:You know, it's a car and it's fucking running ramp and there was in where i grew up, there was like a thousand people protesting for like Trying to get things sorted because obviously the police north side i know, i said where i grew up in tour, my original town was going on and no one really knows what to do. So, obviously, having been on that side, but then also the work you do, and now, where you are turning people's lives around, what do you feel? one, is there a solution? what? do you?
Speaker 1:feel We need to do is a as a community to get people back on that like a lot of people would say, the kids, get the kids and divert the action.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's cool, right, i'm on. Did something with a ct help around the healthy lunchboxes to explain this analogy and i said healthy lunchboxes for aboriginal kids and said healthy lunchboxes, you know much that cost. What's your vision of a healthy lunchbox? Bang? we put it again how much does that cost? time five? i said you know what the average income is and we went through that process and such shit. So if you put the breakfast on for kids but they have to exercise before the breakfast, so you kill two birds want with one stone and you get the attendance. Now you got an extra layer on top of that. Now the focus has gone up, an extra land and it was powerful. What we focus on is the kid stop doing that crime. The kids wired because their parents probably Do bags or they don't roll model the kids into a space where they know how to act, behave or have morals, values, release, respect for the community. Nuts now to me.
Speaker 3:I went into more survival, went on the streets and by then found the money in the red frogs and finding money in red frogs to running up, snatch and money off counters and get to a point say, hey, i'm actually gonna jump this counter, what do you really do? and go from that process to that process and is one where it was mine personally started a survival and then i was just wired as a person to. Yeah, these days probably the relatable thing to people to understand is when they can't call the tour. He reads easy money. So my way of going to make money was just down in destructive path. But if you can go back to the parents And role model the parents and i think that's a community thing yes, and get everybody involved without judgment and say you should do better for your kids, they will passed on the same knowledge from their parents as well. Sit down with them. Just have combos because that's how in the prison yard with the person who was a Accountant or whatever it may be, alan bond, and have conversations around money.
Speaker 3:And i was taught me what is different. Wow, never thought about money in that regard. I just got it and spend it. What if i got it and invested it and i brought me in 10 times what i just dropped on it? Now i got a different thought process around that space and you never get a different for process around a kid, unless it starts in the family home, because that's what i get back to. If it's not the family, who ever they've been cared for?
Speaker 1:yeah, it's a good point because a lot of people wanna. They always go. I'm going global with whatever the impact that you wanna. Have it and it's like well, how about you just start with the people directly influenced by, the ones that you do see on a regular basis and When we look at the V and i'm not supported and justified and condone it.
Speaker 3:But what we do, when you know, i go out and where together, i hit my partner, jeff, your douchebag and all the names that go with it. But what we gotta do is gotta think about is now let's isolate Jeff. I'm not gonna hang around him, i go isolated. We vilify him And all of a sudden i'm a dead cell within the community. She's left me. But now i move on to the next partner.
Speaker 3:I still got the same habits get cheeky to me, bang again, yeah, and now, this time it wasn't as lucky as the last time, and when i say lucky, not even lucky, and this person hasn't made it through. But if we sit down and have that conversation that i might need him, jeff, where did you get that baby from? You know it's unacceptable, brother. I consider you a friend and i didn't know that you will build a wife like that. How could i help you make a better choice at the next decision? what would that decision be? Have a real man conversation, courageous one, and not judge the person in the sense it's not good what they've done and they might just think. They might just think that's how you deal with the hand of your shit. You ask him, they'll tell you. That's how you handle your shit. My dad done, mom never said shit. That would be their answer. Trust me, i grew up in a community of it.
Speaker 3:So to sit down with the person, say what would be the better option next time. Let's draw a line in the sand right here, step across into the space. Next time when you go to do what we're gonna do is walk out of the house, call me, call bill blogs and we have a conversation with you. walk, even if it's 3am. Walk the block and what i might do one night. You gave up to walk a block at 3am. Flip some mindset of a person And they step into the next relationship and now you see the light. Maybe even the person the females being destructive, toxic and he's got such boundaries is look, i don't want to be in this anymore. Not walks away without Being violent to the other person. What would that be worth to everybody on this planet? because you gotta think. The person next door is your neighbor and that's our community. How can we make our community better?
Speaker 1:because we are not just singler And when we think on that level, then we can create real positive change it's tough to do that because i'm sitting here thinking why on earth, with people Not call their made out for that behavior and for most of us project. you know that's embarrassing for me because i'm hanging out with this person and it's our own shit absolutely. but, as you've sort of said, we need to step up to Sort of get back on track and challenge the way that thinking, how they're behaving, in order to get a desired outcome, whatever that outcome is, for the end of the year and i'm still if that's what you do and that's cool because you've got a boundary around that, that's cool as well You can have a conversation before you cut ties.
Speaker 3:So, brother, i want to be honest with you. I don't find that unacceptable, but what i do want to do is sit down with you, even for a couple of weeks, and talk about this. How can you make a better decision? because if you don't, the next person might not be so lucky and you might end up in jail for 20 years. Mate, and you know what i actually value that you at one point until you show me otherwise and maybe they do they end up with another partner. They're treating them well And you know through somebody else, you hear that they're doing well and their partner respects them and there's no violence within that. It's, yeah, because of your conversation the strong one, and it shifted that person into a different direction. That's also that's generational change. You become the person who drew the line in the sand and you won't even a part of the family technically.
Speaker 1:And that for everyone listening who you know. There's always people going. I have people reach out. How can i get involved in what you're doing and help you? i'm like we'll just start being a better leader in your own environment. You don't need to have a podcast.
Speaker 1:You don't need to Run workshops literally. Just call your mates on their poor behavior if you believe it's poor behavior or not. I just had done chris feather from 98 gym on The podcast and i hope i don't butcher this, but one of the phrases i heard him say was when i'm an exclusive gym, yet we're just so i wear, so inclusive to the point that we hold people to a higher standard and it's meaning The way i interpreted it was i only want to include people in my circle who have the same standards as me. Meaning this is how i view the world. This is why value fitness. This is how i talk about money relationships And for me i've been like that's a brilliant takeaway for how we can build our environments and raise people to a whole new standard. Because You look at me 10 years ago i was a pig yeah, i was not not proud of who i was.
Speaker 1:But my wife gave me a second chance. She kicked me out of a car in in thailand cause i was a. You know, not a good bloke, but she gave me second chance and i've turned my life completely around. So i'm a big believer that people do deserve second chances. They need to allow their actions to start changing that. Now I do want to value everyone's time. We got James. We got a first time ever we're in Sydney. You got a bloody producer on. This is in the next level, i feel like rogan man.
Speaker 1:And obviously your time as well, jeff. But man, just quickly to wrap up, what's the direction you're going? like? you're one of the most active people I follow on social media. You got a very strong message, thanks. Where. What's the direction for you and the impact that you're looking to have?
Speaker 3:Yeah, just to leave as much knowledge. One of the things is Aboriginal people. You know people might think this differently, but for us knowledge is power Yup. And how much is it worth For me to compress years and years of time into a space and say, here's a gift to you, locke Yup, that allows you to get an outcome in a shorter period of time? That's the legacy I want to leave behind. Leave the knowledge that I've learned through those lessons to grow and prosper into a better space And that, like you said, like you know, if it's the corporations are aware of huge moneys around health and well-being and all of that, right, but if I can impact just someone walking down the street, then I'm going to do it.
Speaker 3:If I can impact a homeless person to get into a place where they feel valued, start working, see a different way to life, i'm happy to be in that space too. The biggest thing for us as a global business mental health and well-being, leadership, resilience, high performance, habits and rituals. These things can be delivered anywhere, to a school kid through to a soldier, which we've done, and I think that's the biggest thing I'm just happy to acknowledge, and hence why these podcasts are powerful, because it puts you in front of people that can maybe see things a different way. But to see things a different way, i just want to touch on what you said before, and even when you said it you looked away because you sort of almost feel disgusted in your old self. You just got to own that, and I've seen your podcast before. You've spoken about this.
Speaker 3:Be vulnerable, let it go, because once you're vulnerable, no one can say shit about you. Exactly, you can say all you want about Chapter 5 of my life being in the bank, robbing and all of that. I'm cool with that. Talk about Chapter 55, where I put the cape on and the villain become the hero And I flew off into the world delivering that knowledge every place I land into. And that's how I sort of view the direction of our business Just to be able to help people And that could just change or save a life. And if that means it's not your brother or sister that commits suicide, or that means that you step into your goals, dreams, aspiration, that means that you step up and grab your boards to your vision, purpose and why And step into life for the rest of your life to be the best you have, then it's going to be a good one. Yeah, ripper, that was awesome.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, i hope everyone takes away from this. For me especially, i always talk about the importance of surrounding yourself with. You know it's that cliche saying some of the five people you spend the most time around with that really impass your life. But you're also the perfect example of coming from somewhere that didn't have access to that environment. You also went into a place that's probably going to pull you the complete opposite way. You know, in prison you're hanging around a lot of people who aren't necessarily looking to get out there and strive for greatness.
Speaker 1:So you've been held back in that front and you've turned your life around. You live in proof that it's possible, mate. So for anyone who's telling them those excuses that you can't make things happen, we'll listen to this episode again.
Speaker 3:Hold yourself to the high standard and you know the owner of 98 Gym, i know the Gym and they've done really well. Do that same standard within your circle and watch what happens. People drop off and it's cool. And I don't judge those people because maybe they want to bend them, maybe they want a different way of life, maybe they want whatever it may be, but what I hold myself to now, i'm happy to be in that space And those that are on that same level, heading towards the same direction of tension around their truest, authentic self, that's who I'll be around in that space And the only outcome out of that is going to be magical man, the life that you dreamt of. Yeah, that's sort of locked every single night Epic.
Speaker 1:So, guys, thank you for tuning into this episode. Whatever channel you're listening to on it, make sure you hit subscribe so you don't miss another episode. All the links below You can find Jeff's work and find our Academy and all of that sort of stuff. And also special thanks to James, our producer. Today, first time, it's a magical moment It's been a pleasure. Thank you guys for tuning in.
