Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart
Welcome to Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart—the podcast dedicated to empowering men to break through barriers and achieve their full potential.
Hosted by Lachlan Stuart, this show dives deep into the challenges men face, offering actionable insights, real-life stories, and expert advice. Whether you're focused on fitness, business, personal growth, or fatherhood, you'll find inspiration and tools here to help you rise above any challenge and become the man that can.
New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Tune in, get inspired, and start living the life you’ve always wanted.
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Man That Can with Lachlan Stuart
Anthony Noud's: Heroin Addiction, Recovery & Transformation #505
Ever felt trapped in a cycle of addiction or struggled with feelings of abandonment? Our guest today, the inspiring Anthony Noud, had to navigate these dark waters, eventually emerging stronger and more focused. Anthony's remarkable journey from a severe heroin addiction to a successful business owner offers a powerful testament of courage, resilience, and the transformative power of change.
We'll delve into his story, exploring how societal expectations and the quest for abundance often lead to discontentment. We ponder over the importance of self-realization and setting healthy boundaries. Anthony's vivid recounting of his journey through addiction and recovery is both moving and educational, shining a light on the often stigmatized process of rehabilitation and spiritual awakening. Are you ready to challenge your perceptions, work through fears, and redefine the narrative around seeking help?
This episode isn't just about personal battles - it's also about the power of community in personal growth. We explore how our environment, the people we surround ourselves with, and our sense of belonging can motivate us to raise our standards and strive for better.
Anthony's journey isn't just about overcoming addiction - it's about learning to listen to his inner GPS, finding his place in the world, and using social media to connect with a larger audience. Uncover the secrets to personal growth, breaking bad habits, and establishing a work-life balance that works for you.
Embark on this transformative journey with us, get inspired, and learn how to become the best version of yourself.
Anthony Information:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anthonyinnerwork/
WEBSITE:
https://www.awakenedlifestyles.com.au/
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Do Something Today To Be Better For Tomorrow
Welcome to another episode of the man that Can Project podcast. I'm your host, lachlan Stewart, and today we have an episode that's not just powerful, but deeply personal and transformative. Our guest today has walked a path that many would find unimaginable. He's grappled with the pain of abandonment, wrestled with the struggle of embracing change and fought a hard battle to overcome heroin addiction. Yet through all these trials, he's emerged with a sense of purpose that is nothing short of inspiring. In this episode, we'll dive into these experiences, shedding light on the darkest concerns and celebrating the triumphs that come with resilience and determination. We'll explore how our guest turned his life around and how his journey can inspire us all to face our own challenges with courage and conviction. Today's guest is Anthony Noud.
Speaker 1:Before we dive in, I want to remind you to subscribe to the man that Can Project podcast on whatever platform that you're listening to this on. By subscribing, you're not just supporting the show, but you're also ensuring that you never miss an episode full of insights, inspirations and stories that can change lives. And if you're listening to this on Spotify, there is a wicked new feature. If you click on the episode on your phone, scroll down a little bit, you'll actually see a Q&A box, you can leave feedback on the show. You could put in the notes questions that you would have liked answered so that if I do get Anthony back on, we'll be able to ask them, or, if you're an Academy, I'll definitely be able to ask them, but definitely get to start using that and even share people that you would like to listen to on the show.
Speaker 1:Without further ado, let's dive into today's episode with Anthony Noud, the man that Can Project podcast, a podcast empowering queer driven men to live more fulfilling lives. We are here to challenge your beliefs, redefine success and talk about the important stuff in a relatable way. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review. My name's Lockies Stuart. Let's get into it. Welcome to episode 505 of the man that Can Project podcast. I'm your host, lockies Stuart, and today have a guess that I've been following for five, six years, which it sounds weird. When you can say I've been following you for that long thanks to social media, but also thanks to social media, it's not as weird anymore, as if I was just following you down the street.
Speaker 1:But Anthony Noud, and you was just saying Noud with the. I'm like is it nude or Noud? Noud Loud with the N Loud with an N Yep Mate, thank you so much for giving up your time today. We're in your beautiful facility here in Brisbane and, as I walked in, it's the most tranquil place I've been into in a very long time. So you've got an amazing facility.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Thank you, mate. It's a pleasure to be on the show.
Speaker 1:So let's dive straight into it. Obviously, your life has had so many twists and turns. I listened to a podcast you're on with Co and Ray and you got stuck into or I won't say stuck into, but addicted to drugs at a very young age. So can we go back to the beginning and I'd love to sort of dive into how that even came to be, because at 15 years of age you were doing like $1,000 a day on heroin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I started using heroin about 15.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I didn't even know what it was back then. So I'd love to know how we got to that point, how that happens yeah.
Speaker 2:It's actually a really interesting question, I guess. So I started using when I was about 13, and by using, I mean smoking pot. It was probably more experimental. You know my mates at the time had older siblings that were doing it and you know it was just like oh, this is cool, let's try that.
Speaker 2:And the experience for me, mate which I've now realized isn't as common as I may have thought was that I just remember smoking pot and just being like oh my God, I feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I didn't even realize that I was uncomfortable until I did this and it was like the lights came on in my head and I just remember making a decision very quickly to go life is just so much better on this Like why isn't everyone doing it? I don't understand. Yeah, I remember sitting in like grade eight German class, smashed off my head, and turning to my peer like this chick that was sitting next to me in class and telling her hey, I just smoked three bongs before class or whatever it was. You need to do this, this is awesome. And she just looked at me like I was an alien and I remember just thinking what's wrong with you, like you're missing out right, yeah, and then I can answer your question.
Speaker 2:Having that initial experience, I just, I just felt like I could be myself, I just felt safe, I just felt comfortable.
Speaker 1:It's interesting that sorry to cut no go. Interesting that that was the what it gave to you. As you were saying that, I'm thinking okay, when I first started using alcohol and then smoking, smoking weed and going on to ecstasy and stuff like that, that's what it gave me. It gave me this freeing feeling that I could be myself. But I also had this. You know, I've always had over my shoulder mom. I don't want to disappoint my mom and I'm very grateful now that that sort of pulled me back into line?
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:But I know a lot of people listening can relate to that and obviously now alcohol is such a social lubricant for many people. Your environment. Prior to that, what was your family life like and where'd you grow up?
Speaker 2:You're in Brisbane right, yeah, west End in Brisbane. Yeah right, I hear West End.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and for me it's just mind blowing how you get access to all of that at such a young age.
Speaker 2:It's interesting mate, because culturally I guess I was attracted to people that were doing that. In the neighborhood that I grew up in there was a lot of that. Like West End was in a great suburb when I grew up yeah, yeah, yeah, and that was not like it is now, you know, and it's weird because I just remember seeing like I'd hang out at the local milk bar or whatever and there'd be the guys that were selling drugs or whatever it was and they had status, they had power, they had money, they had nice cars, you know they had. They seemed to have this carefree, fun life and I remember just being like wow, like that looks pretty good, that'd be study, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I was like yeah, happy yeah happy studying, like what are these guys up to, you know? And so, yeah, one thing kind of led to another, and I guess you begin to. At the time I wasn't aware of it, but I began to make choices leading me into a different identity and a different worldview. Yeah, and that was really critical. Like one of the things that I'm really big on now is you know, who do you identify as? Who do you want to be? What type of person do you want to be? Because that determines, a, the way in which we see the world, and then, b, the choices we're going to make, which then determines what my life is and the results I get. Yeah, and so I began making those choices. You're going to say something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was going to say so. Then for other young children out there maybe who are dabbling and I was looking at some statistics and actually drug use and alcohol use within the younger generations is declining Wow, which is awesome to see, fantastic. Maybe because we're more aware of things that are happening or people are more health focused, but the trend is declining, which is pretty cool For those who are experiencing and this can be not just young children but adults as well who are lacking identity. What was that process like? Obviously, you created an identity that delved into that world and we'll go more into that in a moment but then you have recreated who you were and came out the other side. What did that process look like?
Speaker 2:To come out the other side. Yeah, so it was said to me really early on, I think one of my first stints in rehab. The guy that owned the place walked up to me and he said, mate, I got some some really good news for you. You've only got to change one thing in order for this to be a success. And I was like shit, yeah, like what's the thing? And he goes everything.
Speaker 1:And I was just like he bundled it up.
Speaker 2:Fuck you, mate. Basically I was my response. Betty was right. They talk about environment being such a big thing and people places things, playgrounds, play things, play people changing everything, beginning to starting with throwing out your phone and your SIM card and your old contacts and all of that, like the obvious stuff, span it all.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah pretty much, Because there's so many neural pathways that are connected to my environment and what I'm doing like it was particularly in the early days, like just walking to, going to particular suburbs or environments or places or things, would just trigger memories or trigger craving or trigger stuff Like it's huge, particularly when you're using, you know, different drugs that stimulating the brain like you, just the hard wiring becomes. You know it happens hard and fast, it's it's cool that way.
Speaker 1:I was hoping we'd go there at some point, but we're going there now with all of that. Once again, I want to tie this back into a lot of people that I've spoken to and I'll use alcohol and obviously addiction can come in behavior addiction, substance addiction, all of those things.
Speaker 2:I was against alcohol too. I get it yeah.
Speaker 1:So a lot of people. You know, I haven't had a phone call yesterday with a guy who's like you know, just, it's a part of my work environment, it's how I close deals and all of that sort of stuff, and he wouldn't be what I would say is addicted, but he believes it's part of that and what happens as a result of using alcohol is not good for him. It impacts his relationships, his health, et cetera. So, looking at those neural pathways you mentioned you meant one, you mentioned the environment, but two when you're walking into a specific place, it triggered something for you. Yes, how important is it to just burn the bridges there for people. Using that example with that guy.
Speaker 2:So really a great question, like because we help a lot of people with addiction too obviously. And the way we look at it is there's two kind of people that will come to us, two types. One is what we would call like a problem drinker or a problem user or weekend warrior or something you know. They're drinking outside of what would be in line with their values. It's starting to cause them problems, like you said, in their relationship or their work or their performance or their health or whatever it might be.
Speaker 2:And you know they kind of go a bit hard and they'll often have this perpetual struggle with the substance where they'll do dry July.
Speaker 1:You know, so classic. There's one like every month now, you know, like ox sober, there's so many these days.
Speaker 2:I've heard of heaps of these days I was like, wow, I didn't even know there was a thing you know. But they'll do these kind of you know little stints or challenges.
Speaker 1:I mean, you see it in health and fitness too.
Speaker 2:And then they go back to the old behavior and they end up in the same place again and then they just do another round of the next month or whatever it is, and there's no real change in identity and there's no real change in what's driving it in the first place or what the cause is in the first place. So, therefore, they return back to the same behavior over and over again. Yeah, I will power only last so long. Yeah, so I. Yes, I need to change my environment, but I have to change my identity and the way in which I'm getting my needs met. For me, that's just critical.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and addiction is ultimately about trying to get unmet needs met. Yeah, and trying to use something outside of myself in order to change the way I feel, because I'm not dealing with that, or can't have that, or not facing that, or don't know how to experience those emotions. Does that make sense? Definitely. So. You've got the weekend warrior On the other side, you've got what we would call an addict or an alcoholic, and so that's the person who will use against their will. Like you know, they'll totally burn their life to the ground. They don't have the ability to pull up like this person does Yep, even though they can see. You know they don't want to do it, but I'm still doing the behaviors that I know aren't good for me and it's kind of like. You know? Sorry to be crass, but the way I've heard it described is like it's kind of like getting fucked by a bear. Right Wouldn't be enjoyable. It's over when the bear says it's over.
Speaker 1:Yep, yeah.
Speaker 2:And so like. In that sense, that's the kind of key distinction between someone who would be a heavy user or a problem user and someone who you know is a full blown addict or alcoholic. As far as treatment goes, it's quite similar. Yep, yeah, but yeah, looking first of all, looking at those unmet needs, you know what's going on. What's the cause here, what's the root cause?
Speaker 1:Why do you feel people don't, or one they're not aware that it is unmet needs, as you've just explained? How can they go about sort of diving into that and working out what is not being met for themselves?
Speaker 2:I've never seen someone turn up with an addiction to alcohol, drugs or any type of substance where they were comfortable with themselves, entirely comfortable with themselves, happy, healthy, well-balanced in all areas of their life and had a way in which to express their emotions and their emotional pain. So when those things are lacking or missing, I'm going to look outside of myself for it, whether it's a drug or an alcohol, or scrolling Instagram or chasing money or status or sex or whatever it is like. Until I have that, I'm going to be trying getting those needs met externally. If that makes sense, yeah, definitely yeah, and so that's what we've got to look at first. So I'll be just getting the person to ask themself, like, what's actually going on?
Speaker 1:Do you feel the way we've set up our life Now? We're getting busy and busier, where people can contact you at all hours of the day, as financial stress as there's, relationship stress, workplace stress, because of all of that, we're so focused on how the hell do I get out of this situation to this peaceful place that we want that it's really hard to look inward because, as you said, we're looking outward to Most people are living life like a rider on a hamster wheel, to your point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the expectation is high. What people in their 20s and 30s expect from their life these days is far greater than what it was to a few generations past. Back then it was like if you just got it and the structures changed too. Back then, if you just got a job and you worked hard, you'd be able to get the house and have kids and send them to the local school and that was a successful life and there's nothing wrong with that. But these days, kids are 20 and they're wanting a gap year and a really nice car and European holiday every year and a six-figure income and a house in a particular suburb, because that's not okay.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And so, to your point, the expectation is much higher. So what I expect from myself is then also higher. And then there's the whole comparison thing going on.
Speaker 1:So it's like I think that's certainly part of it and that ties back into the whole idea around getting clear on your identity as an individual, because that then helps you understand what boundaries you may need to set. Who you need to surround yourself with. Is that on the same path to a degree?
Speaker 2:Well, it's knowing who I am. So the first thing we do is like I need to know myself. Who am I at my core? What are my values, what are my principles? What do I stand for? What am I here to do? And when I say values and principles, it's not honesty, integrity, trust. The stuff people put on the wall in their business, it's like what that they can't even sprout.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Like what are the things that really light me up and fill my cup? Now, the interesting thing is that they're always going to be feelings and emotions, right, always. And the funny thing is, when someone comes in, we do a process where we go through all of that and it's like tell me the dream. And I've never heard two people say the same dream. You know a few thousand clients never heard two people say the same. Some people want to start a law firm, someone wants to be a really good mom, someone wants to start a business or help kids in Africa. Don't care what it is. But when we dig deep enough and say why, why is that important to you and what's that going to do for you, and what's that going to make you experience more of you know, they will always end up saying the same thing, which is I'll feel happy and content, yeah, or a version of that.
Speaker 1:They'll say happy, fulfilled yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like, but it's, that's it. And so, as humans, we, we think we want these things. You know, status, money, cars, relationship, whatever it is, and those things are fine, but what we actually want is the emotional experience or the feeling that I'm going to get as a result of it, right, so I'm a feeling seeking machine. Now, most of us aren't taught that. I know I wasn't.
Speaker 1:It was hard.
Speaker 2:I was taught go to school, study hard. Go to uni, study hard, work hard. Happy life At some point in the future.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was always in the future. But now I'm feeling dissatisfied and now I'm feeling empty and now I'm feeling discontent. But you keep telling me I need to keep working hard to get there. And I think you know we are in a generation, or the last few generations have been a part of really good times. You know, like you've probably heard that phrase like you know, strong man create good times good men.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like that whole phrase. I think it's really true and I think we've been in a, you know, the last few decades of really good times where people have enough kind of well being to be able to focus on those things. But they're thinking they're going to bring them something which they don't even know, mate. They're not even connected with. They don't even know what they really want. They're just doing it because that's what Instagram told them or their friends did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, that leads me to. I was going to ask you about an Instagram post you posted today Okay, yeah, I think it was today on abundance. It was just a white tile, yep, yep, I know. If you probably remember, I was going to scroll through, but my phone's actually recording us, so I can't do that. But can you sort of run us through that, because that ties into sort of where we're at now, because people are wanting to live this abundant life a life sorry, but they aren't really clear on what that is. So could you sort of talk to?
Speaker 2:that. So I mean in the post. What I was referring to is people go like we come, have people come to us and say I want abundance. Okay, what's abundance? I want a business to make X amount of turnover. You know, I want to have love, I want to have health or whatever it is. Now, those things are fantastic. Again, it's not about the turnover or the health, it's about the way you're going to feel when you have that. So let's get clear on what you actually want first, because what you want is a feeling yeah, those things are nice Don't get me wrong. And we, we want people to have external success, but that's what we're actually looking for. Abundance in itself isn't tangible. So I want abundance. I can't go and buy a kilo of abundance. Right, I try. I can't put it on the shelf. Yeah, you know I got my abundance.
Speaker 2:Yeah, here it is. It's a state of being. Yeah, so it's a felt experience, yeah. So what that means is that I feel abundant, I operate and I find myself in the experience of feeling and being abundant. And so people, when I'm sitting here, going, well, I need the house and I need the car and I need the partner and either this, you're actually sitting in lack, yeah, and scarcity, just by virtue of saying I'm here and I don't have that and I want that thing and you think you're being abundant, but you're actually saying I don't have it, I'm in lack, I'm in scarcity. Being in, being in abundance is going, oh wow, like holy shit. I have a liver and it is, you know, having a thousand chemical processes, right?
Speaker 2:now which are keeping me alive. I'm breathing air and for the last almost four decades, every time I've gone to take a breath, there's been an unlimited supply, more than I can fill up.
Speaker 1:Right, it's pretty hard not to smile as you're saying that I'm just grinning. Go, my body's doing all of that. Now like it's fascinating.
Speaker 2:Like we don't even realize, like there's a force inside of me that continues to make my fingernails grow and I know that's weird, but I keep cutting them and they keep growing.
Speaker 1:They're just coming back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they just keep coming back and I think there's this life force, energy inside of me that clearly wants me here and it has intention for me, right, and I experienced that through feelings and emotions, and so like I have more abundance than I'm ever going to be able to achieve or create or buy right here, right now.
Speaker 1:It's crazy what you've just done. Even for me Listen, thinking about that is like it's shifted my whole perspective and attitude towards this conversation we're having right now. It's like, rather than going, I get to learn a lot, and then we're going to get this episode out, et cetera. It's now like just even sitting here is fucking amazing. So now we're enjoying the journey, yeah Right, which then, like the whole perspective and attitude that I now have has shifted in literally 30 seconds. Yeah, you got it. So Fly magic everyone.
Speaker 2:Off the hamster wheel. Yeah, you know, into what I would call reality you know, Yep, and so now I'm actually enjoying the journey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, now the cool thing is, locky, you'll still put your podcast out. You still want to achieve the things. Yes, you know what I mean. You still want to learn some stuff. That's great, but instead of being focused on that goal and that's something in the future, it's like right now how good is this? I get to experience this conversation and I have no idea where we're going, and you know, neither do you really. And so like how good? And I still have the intention to have a good outcome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to throw a different perspective on it because we'll have listeners right that to them hearing this. I don't believe in that stuff because I know that's what I once used to think. I would hear that and go. That's just ridiculous.
Speaker 2:Beautiful Stuff.
Speaker 1:And you were in that place as well.
Speaker 1:I would have said, like when you were into and let's go back to when you were 15, you got into the drugs. That became a challenge for you. Can we go there? But then how did you end up getting into the mindfulness and what you've now created? Because we've heard a little bit about the stuff that you now believe and how you've worked with thousands of people, which is awesome, and we'll go back down like a bloody pinball machine. But let's, let's tie it back into how you went from where you were right, which is where a lot of people are sitting now, not maybe with certain addictions, et cetera, but in a place they weren't very happy in. So let's go back. How do I get out of that? Yes, well, what was that? Like that when you were? I guess you're a rock bottom. And then how did you get out of that?
Speaker 2:So people will always ask will not always often ask you know, what was the one thing that made you want to change your life? And my answer is there was no one thing. There's about a thousand little and big things, right, and the truth is, mate, like I explain those two types of you know, users. I sit on this side, which is the identifies an addict, right, like once, I don't have an off switch, and so for me, there was a long period of time there, you know, multiple years where I didn't want to be doing what I was doing because it was really painful and I could see what it was causing in my life, but I couldn't stop myself. So how did I get there?
Speaker 2:Heep of pain, to be honest, yeah, heep of emotional pain, where you just start to lose your own self respect. You lose your own trust. You know the shame that comes with people experiencing addiction because you're doing things against your will. You're doing things that you swore you'd never do. All right, when you do that, the amount of shame that you carry, mostly because you think it's your fault as well, you know, and you think there's something wrong with you and the world tells you you should have more willpower, which is just not the case.
Speaker 2:You know like you start to really feel like a you know a piece of shit Excuse my language but like that's how it feels. And so how did I get there, I guess? I guess you know there were lots of things that happened in my life which might be like big ticket items. You know like getting in trouble, overdoses. You know being brought back to life. You know having multiple naltrexone implants on into my stomach. You know rapid detoxes, all sorts of treatment.
Speaker 1:Can we talk about the overdoses and what that experience was like for you? Because I think when we can put a bit of this, is what can actually fucking happen if you don't, you know, look to improve your quality of life. Were you aware that an overdose was potentially on the cards for you?
Speaker 2:I mean, when you start shooting up heroin, you know people overdose, right, there's no, there's no 80 year old heroin addicts they're all dead and but you just don't believe it's going to happen to you.
Speaker 2:You know, you know the way that people say I'd never thought this was going to happen to me when they experienced some sort of adversity. Same thing, Like I'm cool, I got this, we're good. You know, I know what I'm doing. Sadly, mate, when you get deep enough into it, you stop caring, yeah, and you become willing to risk it and you'll know, like I. You know it might be a bit graphic, but you'll know, you'll have a syringe in your hand and you're like I don't know, man, this might kill me, but you're in so much pain that you just want it to go away and you don't want to not reach the place that you know you can get with the drug that you're just willing to take the risk, yeah. And so you just do the thing.
Speaker 1:Did you have people in your life at that period who cared for you enough to be like aunt? What are you doing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so my family was extremely supportive. Um, you know, yeah, they were extremely supportive, but when you're in that place, nothing can stop you Like they did everything they could to help me Family, extended family, friends and family, like I know, mum and dad would try to introduce me to people that were in recovery or organised, you know, or they tried to take me on a detox. I just remember the other night, actually, they took me to a family friends detox somewhere. I didn't even know where it was and, you know, in the middle of the night I ended up sourcing alcohol and drinking that while detoxing and throwing up everywhere and like just horrible mate, you know, like, so they were doing their best, but there's a phrase in the recovery community.
Speaker 2:that's like. You know, the best thing you can do for an addict that's committed to using is just get the hell out of their way Because they're going to ruin your life and they're going to. You know they're committed to ruining their own and, truthfully, when people are using to that degree, it's kind of what it's like.
Speaker 1:It must have been hard for your parents and stuff like.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine, you know, I actually now being a parent myself. Like you know, at the time I was in a lot of denial because I was quite young and I was trying to hide a lot of it too, you know, for a period. So maybe that helped, you know. But I can't imagine mate Like, yeah, wow, you know, like some of the stuff Mum and dad had to go through or see or experience, like yeah, that's pretty bad.
Speaker 1:How did you get out of it, Like you were committed to destroying yourself.
Speaker 2:Essentially, yeah, I, like I said I had support to send me to different you know rehabs, places like that, detox centers, different. You know methods of recovery, and I my old man was a recovering alcoholic. He was sober. I never saw him drink. He'd been sober for multiple decades. He was like 45 years sober when he died or something like that.
Speaker 2:Wow, so I'm so grateful for that because I knew it was possible. Yeah, like I knew someone who had done it and could see that they were sober and changed their life right. So I'm so grateful for that because without that I wouldn't have known, you know. But part of me inside was like I know it's possible, it can be done, like you just need to try, you know, or you need to, you know, whatever. The funny thing is, though trying never actually got me clean and sober. All right, what got me clean and sober was actually surrendering, and so what I mean by that is like to answer your question. I went to I can't even remember how I got there, but I went to a detox slash rehab facility down the coast and I was in there and I was on the highest legal dose of methadone I'm not sure if you're familiar with methadone, but I was in 120 milligrams of methadone.
Speaker 2:It's like a government drug that they give heroin addicts to basically sedate them so they don't cause any drama or do any crime. Wow, it's horrible. It's worse than heroin itself, yeah, it's way worse. But it just puts you in like a semi-zombie state and you just don't really want to do much. You know, yeah, and so I was on the highest legal dose of that, also using, you know, multiple drugs every day, also drinking every day. Just gone, and I went to this clinic and they said we're not touching the methadone, like basically no detox facility. There's one in Sydney that I know of, the rest won't touch it because it's such a hard drug to come off and at that dose it takes months and months, and months. But anyway, I remember they said we're not going to touch that but we'll get you off the heroin and the pills and the alcohol. Yeah, and I went in there and I can't remember how long I stayed, but I remember them exiting me from the program, kicking me out, basically.
Speaker 2:I don't even really know what for. And I remember walking out and leaving there and it was like it was on the Gold Coast and it was like it felt really bright so I'm assuming it was hot and sunny and as I was exiting, the nurse she's like really got my attention and she said Anthony, I'm giving you these pills. You need to take them. If you don't take these pills, you could have, you know, seizures and die. Like do you understand me, son?
Speaker 2:It was basically what she was saying to me and I remember getting the handful of pills and I was a smoker at the time and so I like put them in the plastic of my cigarette packet and put them in my pocket and I was, like you know, kind of had the shits and disgruntled that they were kicking me out.
Speaker 1:What do I do yeah?
Speaker 2:And I remember walking out to the car park and just seeing the bright sun and just feeling so raw and vulnerable and going like, oh shit, here we go again. Like being here before, I know what happens. Now I just, you know, go back and get worse. Yeah, and I don't know what it was. You might call it divine intervention, you might call it a moment of clarity, some sort of awareness, but I just had this realization inside myself standing in that car park where I was like, if you take these pills, you are going to die. Yeah, so counter from the pills not, not specific.
Speaker 2:not the pills are going to kill me, but the next steps is back. Deaths next. Yeah, and using the way I was prior to that, you know multiple overdoses, that type of thing you can. It might sound weird, but you can feel death around.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that might sound strange, but, like people, I know other people have experienced that and so I'm not yeah it's difficult to describe, but it was like I knew that was on, it was, it was hanging around, and so I remember going you just can't take him and the heads, like oh, but the nurse said you need to and I'm just like like I just can't risk it because I know what happens when I do. That is, the whole thing starts again. Yeah, you know, and so that was the start of what I call my recovery. Yeah, because from that point, it was the first real decision that I made to do things differently.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so take us into recovery, because you're obviously living, you've been so, but what? 14? 14 years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 14 years, 14 and a half yeah.
Speaker 1:I think it was the start of the year was your 14th?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:Every January. Congratulations, mate, yeah.
Speaker 1:What a way to kick it off. But it's cool. You're living proof that recovery is possible. Yep, it's really inspirational, and especially when you were telling the story, and there's been moments of things that have resonated with me from what you've shared. From the football team and I was using recreational drugs cocaine, ecstasy or heroin not heroin, MDMA and all that sort of stuff, Sure, and I was at a point where I was like I could not wake up from this and I didn't care, because I was treating women in a way that they shouldn't be treated. I hated who I was, but the environment that I was in it felt normal because most people were doing it.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't until I had a mate sent a lifeline to me and just invited me to do something different.
Speaker 2:Beautiful.
Speaker 1:And I was like, let me get back to it. I thought about it all week and then something in my gut was I just take this opportunity, transform my bloody life. You got it. And so there's a number of things that you've said that I've been like dude, so powerful to have that, and it ties back into the importance of having the environment and just taking a risk when it feels right and trusting your gut. Your gut is so powerful, it's 100%. It feels like it's cliche, but it is made Absolutely Like I had.
Speaker 2:you know you touched on it before when you said you know some people will just think this is we will bullshit or whatever Like how do you?
Speaker 1:you?
Speaker 2:know, how do you get there? Like for me, recovery and any real, like anyone who wants to live a truly, you know, optimized life, you know best life, to have a best self, whatever you want to call it, there has to be a spiritual component, and by spiritual I don't mean you know God or Jesus or whoever necessarily. I mean connection to something greater than yourself. And so to the people that don't believe it or don't get it, I'm like how can you like, whether you believe it or not, when you go to the footy game with 50,000 people and you feel that energy move through your body? That is a spiritual experience.
Speaker 2:When you listen to your favorite artist play their track, that just has you, you know, singing in the car out loud at seven in the morning, that is a spiritual experience. Right, that's beyond your mind and your intellect is also beyond your body. So it has to be something else. And so that answers your question earlier. Around, you know, to people that don't get it or don't believe it, it's like just become aware of that, because those are the moments that most of us live for, right, or want to live.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know I want to go on this great holiday.
Speaker 2:It's not about the holiday on paper holiday sucks. I've got to pack a baggage and carry things and airports and transit and all of that Like that's. That's horrible. It's the those experiences that I'm going to get beyond mine and beyond body and it's surrendering into that, like allowing, yeah, allowing yourself to.
Speaker 1:You know, I use dancing as one. Like I'm always like I'm not a dancer Beautiful, but when I'm having beers I'm a dancer. You know so, but the same thing it's like it's that I could be a dancer. I just I'm not comfortable in that aspect of myself for whatever reason yet, and but that is a spiritual thing, cause, as you said, you have your favorite tune on and it just feels good. You feel like you want to move, you feel like you want to sing and that is something bigger than yourself, 100%.
Speaker 2:And it's inside of all of us. You wouldn't be alive if you didn't have it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. So it's inside all of us. It's just about connecting with it in a way that's right for you. You know there's no one way to to practice that either. Yeah, you know connecting with that. And when you do like, you know the reason I got on tour, as you mentioned the gut it's like when you connect with that, you have this inner GPS system.
Speaker 2:you know, guiding yourself and guiding your life and who you are and where you're going. And it's like trusting that you know, first of all connecting with it, but then beginning to trust that and build relationship. It's like oh man, this is like you know, I have my own crystal ball.
Speaker 1:Yeah, legit yeah.
Speaker 2:And if I trust that, like and and and, I'm willing to do the work. Yeah, I don't just sit at home and trust it on Ferraris, you're going to end up in the driveway.
Speaker 1:Yeah, where is the Ferrari?
Speaker 2:Come on, you know yeah, like that's not doing the work, that's that's, that's rubbish, um, but it's like trusting that and then doing this the, the sets and the reps, as we would call it.
Speaker 1:Let's talk about your sets and reps and on your path to recovery. What did that look like for you?
Speaker 2:Like initially.
Speaker 1:Yeah, initially, and then even even today, I'm sure. Actually one thing I was going to ask you you mentioned I identify as an addict. Is that still part of your identity?
Speaker 2:That's a tough question because it's something I've been um contemplating the last couple of years. I guess um because I have a belief that our mindset is completely malleable. Yes, in the sense that you know, I used to identify as a very different person. If we were having this conversation 20 years ago, you wouldn't want to sit in this room and get out of here and like, seriously, you know and I wouldn't have wanted to talk to you, nor probably had the confidence to do that.
Speaker 2:So it's completely malleable. However, what the facts tell me is that if I start to use mind and mood altering substances, I can't guarantee my behavior, you know. And whether there's some sort of you know physiological thing there or brain chemistry, I don't know Right Like the the, the jury's out. Some people say there's genetic and stuff, others, you know not.
Speaker 2:Uh, I'm just not willing to risk it, and so I do. I do believe that, and I also am pretty, you know. Even my partner calls me an extreme sportsman, like it's everything's all or nothing you know, everything's extreme Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whatever I'm doing, it's all in, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so those characteristics are still inside of me. So I do believe, yeah, that's part of who.
Speaker 1:I am. Yeah, I've always wondered that because I've never what I would consider struggled with addiction in terms of those sorts of things, have made plenty of bad choices. But then when I hear people talk about things and they really identify that and part of me is thought Is that just because you're telling yourself you're an addict, that you then become a man. Yeah, you become them become that, because that's what you're telling yourself and you're projecting that almost. But then there is that flip side which you just mentioned.
Speaker 2:It's like, well, if you were to have a substance, then you can't trust yourself and well, the truth is, I've also built an identity and I am the person now that doesn't a Want that. Yes, like I actually don't want that in my life and I certainly don't need it. Yeah, and I, yeah, like I, I kind of use it to my advantage. Now, to me, being an addict isn't, you know, a Hinderance or a bad thing. You know, my experience is, those of us who have had that type of, you know, that intense level of addiction, we're pretty like we can Harness and channeled in good ways and healthy ways. We're pretty unstoppable. What's like what?
Speaker 1:you're doing with your, your business, down the impact that you're having, channeling it in the right direction and, yeah, huge that's the idea.
Speaker 2:That's the idea and it's connected to that higher power stuff we talked about. Yeah, it's like what does life want for me? Yeah, you know well, life wants me to help people, life wants me to be of service, life wants me to spread this message. I don't know where it's come from, like I didn't choose it, I didn't watch a YouTube channel. I want to go and help you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah like it's kind of like I don't have a choice. Yeah, you know I do, but it doesn't feel right to not do this. Yeah, so that's that in a guidance. Again, I love that, yeah it's powerful.
Speaker 1:It's cool hearing it Just from. There's so many things that you say that I'm like damn. It's just bringing back moments in my life that I'm like it's good to know that once again, I think the beautiful thing about podcasting and just having people that are comfortable sharing their story you realize you're not alone in certain things, yeah totally mate.
Speaker 2:We think we these you know, unique snowflakes and yeah, we're actually not very similar. In a lot of ways we are unique, but we're also very, very similar and hard-wired the same way yeah, so through bats, your like your path to recovery, yep, connecting to something higher than yourself.
Speaker 1:Well, there are over any setbacks. You know, 14 years is a I Believe is a long time. Obviously you still got a lifetime to go, sure, have there been setbacks at all during that period?
Speaker 2:You mean with regard? Well, obviously not with regard to using drugs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but just like challenges or my life, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, heaps, yep, plenty, yeah, oh, where do I even start?
Speaker 1:Well, okay, so let me Be a bit more specific there. So with the, with the setbacks, right, so most people actually won't say most people, but many many people May be challenged.
Speaker 1:We'll go use alcohol when stress arises, got it. That's their crux for you, a way for you to feel Confident in an expression in who you were as an individual started with the drugs right, and also alcohol. So, at moments where stress may be overwhelmed, you did you feel like, hey, this might be the way to get myself back on track, going back to drinking a lot, or thousands of times, yeah, thousands of times.
Speaker 2:There were Really kind of you know, lots of moments where that could have been a reality, yeah, yeah, and in some moments it was just like flip of a coin that was just continuing to, you know, onto myself in some moments, like, I think, having a really strong peer group of people that are on the same path, yeah, and they're committed to you know, helping me identify as this other person insanely powerful, you know, and in the early days it was calling people, speaking to people. Hey, man, this is what's going on in my head. My head thinks it's a good idea to go hang out with, you know, my ex-girlfriend, who's still using drugs. What?
Speaker 2:do you reckon they're just like dude. You sound insane.
Speaker 1:This is what you just said to me, yeah like you sound insane.
Speaker 2:Do not do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, like umpteen times that you know Lots of, I guess you know different setbacks in my life and Still are. You know, we still have tough times, I still have stressful times, and how we deal with it is essentially I mean To answer that question I Look at life now from the inside out, right, and so my external world is always a reflection of my inner world and the new elaborate on that more just for, maybe, people who Don't Grasp the power of what you just said, meaning the external world is a reflection or a projection of your internal world.
Speaker 2:Yep. So Prior to this awareness, I used to have this experience that life was constantly happening to me. Yeah, so these things happen, that happened, this person did that thing, they screwed you over, she cheated on you, whatever it might be yeah, and that happened to me, and I'm some powerless victim of this situation. And so now I have a choice to either get upset and run that story and feel like a victim, where I get to be right but nothing changes, or I can take some responsibility and go okay, I'm gonna change and do something different. Yeah, I, I wanted.
Speaker 2:My key awareness is lucky. That truly transformed my life, and I remember driving across the story bridge, realizing it was, realizing that every I make a thousand decisions a day, however many, yeah, and every single choice I've ever made is to either move toward a pleasant feeling or away from an unpleasant feeling. Every choice what shoes I'm gonna wear, what I'm gonna eat for lunch, should I go to the gym, should I ask that check out? Yeah, I risk something in my business. Whatever, yeah, it's only because I want to feel good quote-unquote not the goods of feeling or I want to.
Speaker 2:I want to not have an unpleasant feeling, yeah, or I don't want to feel that way, yeah, yeah, and so when setbacks happen Though only the worst thing that can happen in my life, like the absolute worst thing that can happen bar dying is that I'm gonna have a feeling, right, that's it. If I lose the business, if I lose my partner, if my kids haven't, forbid, got sick or something like you know, if Whatever the worst of the worst happens, the actual thing I'm afraid of happening is the way I'm gonna feel. That's the thing that scares me. So, make sense, definitely, yeah, so if I am willing to have every emotion and face every emotion and sit in the fire of it and Still be true to myself, no matter what, I'm free, right, and so, like that's part of the work we do, like in our kind of one-on-one high-end clients.
Speaker 2:I have this concept and the guys sent to like him, all the girls was like this concept of being unfuck with the ball. Yeah, you know, and that's that, right there. You know it's like you want this thing, you want that, you want to whatever it is that you want for your life, like the only price you're gonna have to really pay is be willing to have the feelings that it's gonna take to get there, and if you're not scared of them, then there's no more fear.
Speaker 1:Why do you think we are conditioned to be so uncomfortable with feelings, especially as men? You mentioned for men?
Speaker 2:Because that's what we were taught mate, because it requires vulnerability, and vulnerability is so incredibly scary. Yeah, you know, and so, and most people relate to the world outside in. Like I said yep, whereas. And so the feelings, that's just a byproduct, and I just push them down and pretend that's not a thing, you know and go and do.
Speaker 2:yeah, human doings, not human beings, yeah and so If I'm going inside out, it's like okay, I've got this situation. What am I feeling? Okay, I'm feeling afraid. Why am I feeling afraid? I'm afraid because, you know, in our modality, we believe that there's only three core fears which will drive all human behavior, and so I only have to be willing to have three feelings. And basically, what are those feelings? So the first one is if you're a powerlessness which basically means I hate feeling out of control I don't think, don't go my way, guilty.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Anxiety. Yeah, it's all like Frustration. All that always leads back to powerlessness. Yeah, I hate feeling out of control from I can't find my car keys through to.
Speaker 1:We're in a pandemic and what the hell's gonna happen?
Speaker 2:Yeah, through to. She left me and she's not coming back, whatever. Yeah, we hate feeling out of control. Now most people go to their head and try think their way out of that, and that's how you get on the Hamster wheel.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah that's how you're having conversations with. You know, it's person from three years ago on the show. That's that, or I'll try to control things in my life. Yeah, my environment, people places my routine Whatever. Yeah, short term you'll feel powerful. Long term you feel more palace. That's that. Second core fear is the fear of abandonment. You know, this one's funny. I can get a room full 200 people. I mentioned the word abandonment. They all look at the floor and pretend I'm not talking to them. Yeah, yeah, the reason for that is because it's the one we all have, but we all try to pretend we don't Because it's scary again and because we can be hurt. Yeah, you know the abandonment wound when you in it feels like it might kill you, feels like you might die and that's anyone who's had a really horrible breakup can attest to that. Yeah, like, oh my god, I thought I was gonna die from the overwhelming emotion. Yeah, and because we aren't taught how to healthily process them, that's where people start getting on tinder.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, or drinking or carrying on, or just getting diving into work, whatever, yeah, avoiding the feeling it is one of the biggest reasons why men take their life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, is relationship breakdown and Probably leaning back into that. We don't know. The majority of time blokes will reach out to me is I've been watching you for ages. My missus just split up with me. I feel I'm da, da, da, da da. And what you've just said there that learning to be comfortable in Abandonment and giving it a shift in perspective around what I can mean it sucks.
Speaker 2:Man breakups are the horrible so you, you touch, chop, sorry to cut you off your right before. What brought me to recovery? And I said pain, yeah, that's the same thing that brings people to you. Yeah, that's the same thing that brings people to me. Yeah, you don't need to be a heronatic overdosing. Yeah, you just, you know, like you said, partner, work up with them. Oh, my god, I mean so much emotional pain out and my usual outlets aren't working or they're causing me more suffering. Yep, okay, now I'm willing to do something.
Speaker 1:I want to ask for your opinion on this thing, because I really want to change the narrative. A lot of people Will seek out help, for example, though They'll go to you, or they'll come to me when they're Trying to bounce back from pain, mm-hmm. I, for me, shifting the narrative is we can all get better, regardless of where you're at in your life. Sure, seeking help or looking for that next level of yourself is something we should all be. I believe we should all be seeking anyway, because that's how you lead to prevention, because when you're around people who are holding you to a higher standard, living a way that you potentially want to live, they can say hey, anthony, you've been diving into work the last couple of months. How you going with your relationship? Pull your head in.
Speaker 1:Yeah pull your head in. So for me, when I talk a lot about even the reason why I love what you do, is for people should be going to you just because they want to avoid the potential pain right, potential pains. We don't want you to experience the pain, no fucking way, of course. But you've got to still be doing the work and you've got to have the awareness that it can come at any point if you aren't intentional with your time.
Speaker 2:So life is going to life, all of us.
Speaker 1:Oh, I like that we say that again for those who don't, life is going to life.
Speaker 2:all of us Like that, and so we've all got our measure of powerlessness, abandonment, pain. The third one's, fear of worthlessness, which is linked to that fear of failure not worthy, I'm not enough, not good at this stuff, and so that's coming, whether you've had it yet or not. Like you're going to get that. Unless you were raised by Buddha like and you were taught this time which is very rare, like that's coming right and so it's learning.
Speaker 2:You're right and not. I guess most people don't have the motivation to come and do the work unless they are in pain because they think that next thing's going to be fulfilling or rewarding or okay or sorted out, or you know, it's kind of how we're wired. You know short term pain relief at the price of love and suffering.
Speaker 1:Is this why you feel the power of community is such a big thing as well, though? This is one of my beliefs as well, and the reason why we use fitness as a big part of the work that we do because for.
Speaker 1:I guess, our ideal client and who I was a decade ago. I love fitness, I love challenging myself, having experiences and adventure by having a community that is focused around that, but still pulling people into line with hey, your relationship done. Treat people that way, maybe pull your drinking, and it is almost a drawcard for people to go hey, I want to be part of that community, but part of the standard means I need to shake these bad behaviors and I need to build some better routines or habits for yourself, and what you guys have created with the Awakened Lifestyle Is that a big, big part of that as well, and even the direction.
Speaker 1:Yeah, community, and even the direction you're going in.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah. So we've been running weekly group sessions for a number of years now, and what most people experience when they turn up on a Monday night is they go. Oh my God, I'm not the only one. Yeah, yeah, Because we all live these lives where you know everything's cool and I'm good and how are?
Speaker 2:you, yeah, good thanks, yeah, but really like, and they turn up and they go, oh my God, like, and this person's really well put together and this person's, you know, got stuff that I want, and they also experience emotional pain, you know, and they've had this stuff go on for them, and so there's a real sense of identification. But what you get is a real sense of belonging, and that's a need, that's a human need, right? So we want to have, like, we crave that belonging, whether we, you know, realize it or not. And when you get it, that's something that is incredibly powerful to your point, like with the group you have, this group around you. That kind of does hold you to a high, high standard and it, you know it, changes your worldview. So you start to see things differently, without even really trying, just by being part of it. Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 1:How did you build for yourself as well? Going through the parts of recovery you mentioned earlier, it's like burn the phone, get rid of all those contacts from your life. Then you would have met people in recovery as well. But to now where you're at in your life, how have you gone about establishing that peer group that holds you to a higher level?
Speaker 2:Because I know for a lot of people they just don't know how to do that yet and it's a reason why they keep falling back into so becoming the best version of yourself can seem for many and feel and this is, this is kind of part of the process for many is it can become quite isolating as you begin to change, because your peer group will likely need to change. Yeah, and I, I'm going to butcher it, but our Aristotle I'll paraphrase it yeah, paraphrase it Right.
Speaker 2:But Aristotle talked about, like the three layers of friendship and the three types of friends. You know the first layer being. You know acquaintances which have mutual benefit. Yeah, so you know the barista at the coffee shop. You pay her, she gives you coffee. You have a little friendship. Yeah. Real estate agent that never leaves you alone yeah, and whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe good people, maybe not, doesn't really matter, but that's the purpose of the relationship, yeah. Second second level of friendship is when most people sit, which is a relationship based on time spent and experience. So we went to high school together. We've been mates for 20 years and we went through all this stuff and we went to Europe and I was there for you when you had your break up. Yeah, you know, important, great, and that's what most people would call their best mates, you know and like totally cool.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that's bad. However, what can happen in those relationships is you have this bias where he's my mate and I've had him for 30 years and you know they can kind of do no wrong in a sense. So he calls you and says oh, the missus is breaking my balls again. You know, let's go on a weekend and we'll go to the strippers, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:He's like oh yeah, mate, I get it.
Speaker 2:You know she's breaking your balls, go do the thing. Yeah, like oh, it's cool, they'll justify your behavior. Yes, I'm going to put you on the hook. The third layer of friendship is the person whose the purpose and part of the function of the relationship is to hold you to the highest standard of yourself. Yeah, so in the level two they'll justify and say oh yeah, I understand why you cheated on her. Yeah, she wouldn't be a che anyway. Yeah, right, yeah. The third layer before you do it goes mate, what the fuck are you doing? Pull your head into it. Like that's not how we roll. Yeah. And in that third layer again, you all draw on, like you rise to the level of the peer group and the standard that the peer group sets, and most of that happens unconsciously.
Speaker 2:You don't have to try. Yeah, yeah, like I have an example that I've experienced recently in my own life, I've obviously started training at Function Roll in the last time.
Speaker 1:And you throw down man. I love it, I love it.
Speaker 2:Thanks, man. But previously I've trained in like bodybuilding gyms because that was my background. But I've turned up here and I love it and I'm training and the first time in my life I'm like maybe you can consider doing some CrossFit. You know, maybe you should start doing that, and it's for no other reason than I'm in the environment. Everyone else is doing it. That's the standard that's set. You know like we're so impacted by our environment. Yep, you know, like in recovery there's a you know a really worn cliche that they say if you sit in the barber's chair long enough, you're going to get a haircut Right.
Speaker 1:And so that goes for behaviors that aren't good for you.
Speaker 2:You know, like, if I'm hanging around pubs, I'm probably going to end up drinking. If I'm hanging around people that are on the bag every weekend, I'm probably going to end up doing that.
Speaker 1:You know, with reference to your client, that you know it's common sense, like when you say it, you're like makes sense, yes, but also, on the other hand, it works too.
Speaker 2:So if I'm hanging around people that are healthy, doing the right things, holding that standard, that third layer, friendship, then guess what? I'm going to end up like them, you know, and I'm going to end up, you know, embodying some of those same traits.
Speaker 1:That's for me, why it's I've been really intentional with who I allocate time to, because I've always been like, okay, there's people you just need to remove from your life. There's no value that comes from this. People may be distant to self I'm great mates, for example but spend too much time around them. Some bad habits start wearing off. And then there's the people I want to enhance my time with, and I think they have. You know, bring, bring value to me, hold me to a higher standard and have outcomes or live a way of life that I want to live, whether it is through being an incredible father or family man, through business, through lifestyle. One of the reasons why I was drawn to you as well is, from what I observe. You've got a lot of characteristics and standards that I admire and it's like, okay, well, if I want to maintain that, get around this dude, and then I just slide into your DMs and here we go.
Speaker 2:But isn't that how it works? Yeah, yeah but that's.
Speaker 1:I think it's such an often overlooked for a lot of people. Is you just got to make?
Speaker 2:that first. Well, where it shows up is they'll wake up Monday morning. I'm never doing that again.
Speaker 2:You know I'm going to go back to the gym, you know, and they might go back to the gym and start eating healthy for three days and whatever, start reading the book, but then the rest of their life is still the exact same. So come Thursday they're talking to the same mates, you know, who are offering the same solutions, you know who want to do the same things, and so then I don't know, I just, you know, tripped and fell over and ended up here on Sunday night again.
Speaker 1:You know like and it's, it's.
Speaker 2:It seems like again that life's happening to me, like I just got here, when, in reality, like as a function of the environment, you, you know, you're still going to make the same choices if you're still, you know, in that place doing the same things.
Speaker 1:Yeah what would be two or three boundaries that you've introduced into your life over the last 14 years, like that standout that maybe some people can go hmm, that's something I could implement into my life. It doesn't even have to be two or three, just give us one boundaries.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I only want healthy and conscious relationships in my life and I'm pretty hardcore with that.
Speaker 1:Can you elaborate on what that looks like for you?
Speaker 2:Well, that uh, striving to bring their best to the world, whatever that is you don't need to be a multi-millionaire high flyer, necessarily but people who are trying to bring their best, whatever that looks like. You can be a Tyler, but doing really good work and loving it and it's your thing and you're just creating this experience.
Speaker 2:Amazing. So people that bring their best to the world, people that are conscious about their impact in relationship and have what I would call radical self-responsibility, so they take responsibility for their shit and the impact that they have on the relationship or you or themselves or whatever. So there's none of that dysfunctional, toxic friendship relationship stuff that goes on. Does that answer?
Speaker 1:your question? Definitely, that's good. I just think it's always good to give people examples. There's a few things that you do really well. You have these, or you've done it a couple of times in these conversations. Rather than just starting to talk when I've asked a question, you pause and genuinely think, which is something that a lot of people feel very uncomfortable doing, but it allows you to. I think about how you want to say what you want to say. A common thing that I hear is I don't know how to say what I want to say. I keep stuff and things up and say do what Anthony does, and stop and think or journal and write it out. There's ways that we can go about doing that, but it's a skill.
Speaker 2:So I'll give you this is probably going right out there for some of the listeners, but I don't stop and think Okay, you mentioned and everyone does. They come into the space and they say, oh, wow, it's just so nice and so tranquil.
Speaker 2:I can't believe what you've done here. And it is a nice place, but prior to this we were in an office up the road which wasn't nice, and prior to that I was in like literally a broom covered of a gym. But people would say the same thing they would walk in and they go. Oh my God, just what you've got here is just feel so nice and it's not about, I mean, the environment is nice, the space is nice. What I do when I say I don't think is I just come into the moment and be still and be present and allow whatever the next right thing is to arise. I don't know if that makes sense, but it's not an intellectual thinking thing, and so that's why people walk in here and they go. Oh my God, it feels so good.
Speaker 2:Why it feels good is because there's not this constant chatter going on in people's minds in this experience and they, oh, I just feel at ease, I just feel calm, I just feel peaceful. Yeah, so I'm being more than I'm doing or attempting to.
Speaker 1:It's a good point, because I feel the way that I'm interpreting that is, there's people that I spend time around with and you can tell their the cogs are ticking over and I get anxious being around them 100%. I don't actually enjoy being around it, so animals.
Speaker 2:the only animals that exhibit mental health issues are the ones that live with humans Dogs and cats. Yeah right, nothing else does. Yeah, because and we mammals too, we forget that because we live in air conditioned boxes.
Speaker 1:Right, but we mammals too.
Speaker 2:The only animals that exhibit those traits are the ones around human beings. And that constant chatter in the mind, that constant focus on the past or the future, yeah and so, yeah, like if I pause it's not necessary to think is to go actually what's real for me, you know, and it's consulting that inner guidance, that gut you might call it.
Speaker 2:And most people can relate to that, and so it's just like what's in your gut. So if you're in a relationship that isn't working and lost here all the time, people just say I just knew, I just know, you know my head told me that he was a really good guy and he did this and that, but inside I just knew it's like. Stop listening to your head and trust the just know. Yeah, you know like, and you'll be amazed at the way your life transforms. Yeah, it's scary because it doesn't take logic.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So as a family man, business owner, someone who prioritizes their health, how do you manage what people would call work life balance? Because I do want to respect your time and we've bounced around- a bit.
Speaker 2:That's cool man.
Speaker 1:But that seems to be a common thing that many people are challenged with, and whether you think it's a thing or how do you sort of build your life with that in mind?
Speaker 2:So every week I have a planning process that I do ideally really early on a Sunday morning, where I'll consider something we give our clients, but it's where I'll consider like what's important to me and what's the what's kind of the goal. You know the intention and so the way in which I work life balance different for everyone.
Speaker 1:Is it a thing I don't really know? Probably not. Balance is that a thing I don't really?
Speaker 2:know? Yeah, probably not. We both need yin and yang you know, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:And so the way I do that is, if I know who I am at my core, what are my values, what are my principles, what I stand for the stuff I spoke about before and I know where I'm headed, I can then make conscious choices as to what my life will need on any given day, week, month, whatever it is. And so that might be hey, we're doing a big initiative in the business, like I'm going to have to put my energy there. Yes, you know, the way I maintain the balance, which I think is what you're asking, is having kind of bottom line behaviors and top line behaviors. So for me, like as a family man, for example, a bottom line behavior is every single day I want to have what I would call a magic moment with both my kids every day. Love that, yeah, and so that could be made. It could be 30 seconds, yeah, kicking a footy. You know where we connected. You know my son and I connected. It could be putting my daughter to sleep for 15 minutes and having a cuddle yeah, right, like that's a magic. Or it could be, you know, going away for a weekend yeah, it's, but that's a bottom line.
Speaker 2:So, no matter what's going on in my life. There's nothing that's more important than me making sure I onto my bottom lines, and so the standard for that is that nothing comes before my peace of mind. And so if nothing comes before my peace of mind, I then need to organize what are the things that bring me peace of mind, and so, for me, that is my health, that is connection in my relationship, that is friendship, that is making sure I'm accomplishing things in my life, because that's a value of mine. I strive on accomplishment, so work has to feature Right, and so when I, when I know all those things, when I'm doing all those things to a level and I'm staying in line with my bottom line behaviors and my top line behaviors, I will achieve the standard of nothing coming before my peace of mind.
Speaker 1:That's awesome and it's great that you can accept that you enjoy striving for career stuff as well. I think that's something that's in today's society as well. It's like I can't strive for recognition and stuff. I love recognition. Something that I stood for a long time was like that's found upon its arrogant itself in Aussie. These are pretty bad for it.
Speaker 2:If you go to the States I know when I've been to the States they just like really support you, oh my. God, man, that's amazing. Tell me what you're doing.
Speaker 1:It's like well as you're about to find out, right.
Speaker 2:You know, but like they really celebrate that striving, you know and I'm not striving for worth it's really important. I'm not striving to be more valuable as a human being, because that's not possible. That's the game, right? If I believe that it's never going to be enough, yeah, like you can't be more valuable compared to a new board, maybe switch is more valuable Doesn't exist. It's all mind made. Yeah, completely made up by the ego, right? However, if I get that concept, I just naturally feel myself drawn to wanting to reach my potential, and so that's where this driving then comes. It's like, well, yeah, I want to build this business. Yeah, I want to achieve a great life. Yeah, I want to be able to take my kids to Europe next year, whatever it is. Yeah, like, so that means I got to do some stuff, and I do believe that needs to be celebrated, you know we all have this false humility thing Like everyone wants, wants more.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, like it's cool we all do. Just admit it, you're not a wanker. You know like it's cool, you know, like, but as long as you know you're not thinking it's going to make you a more valuable human being, because that's where it does come across as like all ego based.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, it's a good point. One last question before we can find out how to you know, get in touch with you and all the stuff that you're moving towards, what advice do you wish you had or support do you wish you had at the time when you needed it most? Around that sort of 13 to 15 year old version of yourself?
Speaker 2:So nothing could have stopped me, I believe, at that time. Yeah, I don't think I had the right people and frameworks and systems and people telling me. No one told me anything new. When I got into recovery, yeah, I was just willing to listen. Yeah, I was just open minded enough to listen.
Speaker 2:What I believe I need to know what, what I believe really lacks in society as a whole is most of us just don't feel safe to be ourselves. Yeah, and so for me, if I could have just got that message made like you are safe to just be you and in fact, like just being you is all you're here to do. That's your purpose. Right, being yourself is your life purpose and if you trust that, everything that's meant to be will arise like game over. You know, and that's people ask me about advice for. You know, whether it be parenting or my kids or whatever it's like, just you know if they feel safe to be themselves, as they are, and you'll love them for who they are, as they are, not what they achieve or what they get or don't get or have or whatever. That's nice, that's important, but like as I am as a being, is enough and that needs to be expressed authentically. Probably 99.9% of all the issues that we face will be resolved. Yeah, that's powerful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for those who are listening and have loved what we've spoken about, which would be heaps of people guaranteed. What do you offer in the way of helping people transform their life, yep, and how can people get in contact with you?
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. We do small group coaching, and so we bring people through a process of what we call our immersion or our high powered human process, which is essentially take people from where they are you know where I am currently work out where you want to be, remove anything that's in the way and support you to you know, be that person effectively.
Speaker 2:So that's what we do. The methods are either the small group coaching so we've got a community there that we're building out which is awesome and fantastic and that can be accessed anywhere in the world or we also do kind of like high end one on one coaching for people that want that one on one. We've got a team of coaches here that see people and so we fit the right person to the right coach, yeah, and we've heaps of processes we take through that are pretty amazing.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, and where can people find you?
Speaker 2:Awakendatlifestylescomau is obviously the business page that's AwakendED with lifestyles, with an S on the end. I didn't think about that when I named the business. It's really hard. Every time I got to give my email, it's like oh man, this is a two minute thing.
Speaker 1:I'm the same. I'm like let me just type it yeah exactly.
Speaker 2:My Instagram is AnthonyInnaWork all one word you can. I'm happy to chat to anyone that wants to message me there. Yeah, that'd be the two main channels.
Speaker 1:AnthonyNoud, everybody, this has been a phenomenal episode. All of the links are going to be in the show notes, so just click them. It makes it easier. But thank you so much for your time.
Speaker 2:It's been a pleasure. I really appreciate it, thank you.
