How To Get Unstuck: The Framework For Men Who've Lost Direction #677

Most men are not stuck.
They are avoiding a decision.

After running 58 marathons in 58 consecutive days and coaching more than 1,200 high-performing men, I have seen the same pattern over and over.

Men hit a ceiling.
They get comfortable.
Then they start asking, “Is this all there is?”

In this episode of Life Performance, I break down the exact 4-step framework I use with clients who feel stuck personally or professionally.

We cover:

• Why paralysis by analysis keeps men frozen
 • How to build a compelling vision
 • How to choose a 90-day goal
 • How to use fear as feedback
 • Why action creates clarity, not the other way around

If you are considering a career change, chasing a new goal, or simply tired of drifting, this will give you direction.

Take the free Life Performance Scorecard and see where you stand across Strong Body, Calm Mind, Clear Purpose, and Confident Life: https://lifeperformance.scoreapp.com/

Coaching: https://www.lachlanstuart.com.au/coaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lachlanstuart/

Transcript

Why You Feel Stuck

Lachlan Stuart 0:00

If you're feeling stuck and don't know where to start, stick around for this one because I'm going to show you exactly how to get unstuck, whether it's personally or professionally. Over the last couple of weeks I've been texting back and forth with his bloke. We've jumped on a few phone calls. He's wanting to do a bit of coaching. I'm extremely busy at the moment and timing just hasn't worked out. So I thought let's just make a video that is going to help him start making some progress before we get started. And I'm sure it is going to give you some great tips and a framework that you can use to go from step one to step four and then have a plan for yourself to follow. Now, having run 58 marathons in 58 days, broken multiple world records, 30 rolling 30 marathons in 30 days, I've got my first book coming out. I do know what it takes to create a great life, and that's my version of a great life. You may be thinking, dude, don't want to write a book. To be honest, I didn't think I ever wanted to write a book. You may also be thinking, I don't want to run 58 marathons. We don't. Just picture this as your version of that. Because if you're feeling stuck, the only other option is to get unstuck. Which means we need to create some momentum and give you a bit of direction for your life. Now, this gentleman, we were talking back and forth, and he just sent me a message. And he said, Dude, I want to, you know, I feel stuck and I want to make a career change. He's like, I'm just looking for that next step. I said, Okay, well, when was the last time in your life when you felt completely in control of it? Take me back there. What was that like? And he went back to a number of years ago when he was training to be in the equivalent of special forces, right? Had training goals, he had a team to be a part of, and it was something that he was really putting all his eggs into one basket for. And I said, Awesome. So you had a vision, you had some goals, you had the right environment. Do you have that in your life right now? And he's highly accomplished in his career, he's happy with where he's at. And I hope he's listening to this because I did say I'd make it for him so we can give you some practical stuff. But ultimately, from that, what we look at is like this is how we get to where we want to get to. We don't need to make it complicated. I want it to be super simple so that you can implement, because what you'll realize, it's not about being paralyzed, or what do they say? Paralysis by analysis, by overthinking things. Because that's what a lot of men do as they get into life. It's like when you're young, you get given a roadmap. You finish school, you either do your trade, go to university, join the army, whatever it is, and then you try to climb the ranks. Very simple. Removes all other distractions. Many men are getting to a point in their life, and I have been here where you go, is this all there is? I thought this was supposed to be the most fulfilling thing. It would achieve all of my goals, my marriage would be thriving, I'd just be crushing it, I'd have that feeling of satisfaction. But you're probably not feeling satisfied, and that's okay because the data points to that. And so what we need to now start doing is go, if you're looking to make any changes, if you're feeling stuck and you want to get unstuck, you need to understand that there's going to be a lot of opportunity out there, and that can be overwhelming. And that's where the whole paralysis by analysis comes in because you go, which one is the right option? Like there's so much choice out here, and then the fear kicks in. What if I make the wrong choice? What if I invest a couple of years and don't like it? Or what if I fail? What if what are my friends and family gonna think if I change my careers now? All of that is gonna happen. And so if you can accept that fear is gonna be part of it because you are now stepping into an area of life you don't know, right? People feel a sense of comfort and they minimize fear when you're familiar with things. The only way you're gonna get familiar with things is by doing more of it, which means you have to step into the fear and you have to accept the consequences because all choices have friends, right? And those friends are consequences. So every choice you make, and I talk about this in keynotes that I give, but there are times where you both choices are great, right? There's so many options, which one? And people don't make a choice, they just kick the can because they're like, I'll think on it, I'll wait for another sign, I'll wait for this better opportunity to hit me in the face. And the consequence of not choosing means, oh, nothing happens, nothing changes, or you choose one and then you don't really commit because you're going, oh, this is awesome, but should I have chosen that? You don't go all in. The next thing is you go to choices where there's one clear winner and one clear loser, right? And it's very easy to go, oh, that's that's the choice I'm gonna make. Consequences, love them. And then there's a times where you'll find yourself where both choices suck. Okay, but you still have to make a choice. You can't kick the can. And for me, I go, which choice is gonna move me to the goal that I'm trying to achieve at this moment, or the man that I'm aiming to become. That's the choice that I'm always gonna make, and the consequences of that will lead me there, even if it sucks in the moment. And the the example of that always comes back from the 58 marathons, where on day five my ankles were blown up, it was minus 12 degrees, I was freezing, and I really wanted to quit. The noises in my head was getting louder and louder, you're a failure, you're weak, you know, you're five days in, you've still got 53 marathons to go, all of that stuff. And voice in my head was just like, quit, quit, quit. And had I listened to it, yeah, I would have in the moment I would have felt better because I would have got in the van, put my feet up, got handed a pizza pocket, and I would have been like, oh, good, but the consequences I couldn't have lived with. I would have had to have called the sponsors and said, hey guys, you know, I've quit on day five, I only made five days. I would have had to have told the charity, hey, we're not going to be able to raise any more funds because I'm done. But most importantly, when I put my head on the pillow that night, I would have been so disappointed that I didn't take that next step to become the man that I knew I could be. So the other option was I continue going in the pain, the cold, with no guarantee of success, but the consequences I liked. I would live to fight another day. I would be able to continue inspiring people and raising funds. And most importantly, when I put my head on the pillow that night, well, I would have been proud that I'd taken that next step to become the man that I knew I could be. And so that's why it's really important that we need to step into the fear because the choices are always going to move us towards that, right? Fears are normal. The only cure for it is action, right? You're going to get the feedback. So, how we get unstuck. Like I said, ask yourself when was the last time you felt in control? Think back to that time and reverse engineer it. But I promise you, it's probably going to be because you knew where you wanted to go, meaning you had a bit of a vision. So create a vision. Step one, create the vision. It doesn't need to be perfect, just picture it as the lighthouse, right? The thing that you can see in the dark that's going to move you towards where you want to go. It doesn't stop the big waves or the sandbars, it's just going to move you towards where you want to be. When you have that vision, okay, you're then going to be able to know what the next steps that are going to move you towards it and away from it. So if you get stuck, use Chat GPT or AI and just put it in, say, hey, interview me for 20 questions at a time. So 20 questions, one question at a time, and help me create a life's vision, something that's going to be compelling and I can build goals to all towards and is going to change my life. Do that. Once you've got that, you're then going to be able to break it down and go, this is my next immediate goal. The goal that it should I focus on over the next 90 days is going to make a significant improvement in my life. Now, within that, you then build a plan, right? You go, this is what I need to achieve. What has to happen in order to get there? Now, people often overestimate what they can achieve in 12 months and underestimate what they can achieve in five years, for example. When I first started in business, I thought I was going to earn a million bucks in a year. I still remember sitting down with an accountant that I got a new accountant. I was like, yeah, mate, I'm going to probably be earning 25 grand a week in three or four months' time. I was this 23-year-old, super enthusiastic guy. I could only imagine what's going through his head. You know, he probably deal with so many business owners, and there's this young idiot going, Yeah, I'm going to do that. But the enthusiasm pushed me through all the doubt, pushed me through all the fear. So don't ever write off enthusiasm, right? But that is what we need to do. Because I didn't quit. I then learned things over time. So what I realized was I didn't hit the goal. But because I took action towards the vision, it then gave me feedback and it said, hey, you don't know how to market yourself, you don't have a product to sell, you don't communicate very well, and you lack confidence. There were just a number of things. There was the list was so much bigger. And so then I thought, okay, well, these are the skills that I need to develop over the next period of time in order to achieve my goal. I remember I had a mentor at the time and he said, if it took you 10 years to earn a million dollars a year, would you stay committed? And I said, Yeah, but I want to do it any year. But I would commit. So I'm asking you, whatever your goal is, whatever the thing that you feel will get you unstuck is, if it took you 10 years to achieve it, would you stay committed? Because if you wouldn't, I'd probably recommend looking for something else, right? Because you have to change who you are, you have to develop skills, build networks, and so many other things in order to really get unstuck and change your life. We can get micro, I guess, moments of being unstuck. But if it doesn't lead to something bigger, you're going to constantly go stuck, unstuck, stuck, unstuck, stuck, unstuck. And I guess that is, I guess, the process of hitting a problem or a challenge, solving the problem or challenge, continuing to move. That's how it happens. But if you go through periods and let's say months at a time where you feel stuck, we don't want you to have that happen. We want to stay in momentum and continue you getting to where you want to get to. So we get the vision, we build the plan and the and the goals and the milestones, and then you just got to decide on a daily basis which things that I do today are going to move me towards achieving that outcome and which ones are going to move me away from it. Then it's just a decision. Am I going to be voting for the version who's going to move towards success or am I going to move away from it? That's your choice, and only you can do that. And that's where for me it's so important about controlling and changing your inputs. So we fuel ourselves well with proteins, water, hydrolytes, etc., to perform well physically. But what about mentally? So for me, I've attended workshops. I run workshops now, I coach people. I have also listened to countless hours of podcasts, I've attended events, I've paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for coaches to help me think differently, to help me develop skills, to help me become the man I am today that can achieve the things that I wanted to achieve. And you might have to do the same. But if you're not in a position to do that, consume podcasts. Find some podcasts, much like this, that can teach you what you're looking to teach and then act on it. Implement it. You're going to get the feedback because it's going to show you specifically where you need to improve, not just the general audience. And I would say that to anyone that I'm working with, you know, we can go through vision, values, goal setting, limiting beliefs, all of that. But it's way better when we do it specific to you and what you're trying to achieve. So think about that, and most importantly, your environment. Who are you hanging around and where are you situated? The final one is just don't wait for clarity before you move, right? Paralysis by analysis. Don't overthink things. Decide where you want your life to be. Choose any goal, step through the fear and get feedback as you go. Don't be one of those people who in five years' time are in the same position because they're still analyzing which is going to be the best, which is going to bring the best ROI, which one will their peers accept the most. Just fucking go. Like seriously, just go. And if you aren't prepared to put in the effort, don't bother. Right? Move on to something else, or just accept your life is where it is. And that can be okay for some people, but I would assume you're watching this because that's not what you want. Now, if this resonated with you, drop a comment or a thing that you're going to commit to, or more importantly, I have a free scorecard. The scorecard will show you where you're drifting and where you're thriving in four key areas: strong body, calm mind, clear purpose, confident life. And I believe at any point in life, us as men looking to improve one of those areas. And all it is is a cycle. And every time you go tick, tick-tick-tick, we level up and then we go, okay, there's new strong body goals, there's there's new things that are stealing my focus in my mind, or my purpose has been challenged, or my life is being restricted. I work with so many men, and I've worked with some very successful men, and I have imposter syndrome often you know a lot of the time. But I look at them and I go, Oh, why are they hiring me to help them with their life? And I know that they're brilliant at what they're doing, and I'm brilliant at what I'm doing. And I'm really great at helping men like you improve all areas of your life to perform better so that at the end of the day, when you put your head on your pillow, you're going, Man, I'm living a great life. But what happens for a lot of these men when they get the body, they get the calm mind, they get the purpose and the money, they almost create this nice prison where they go, Is this all there is? Because in life, as I've said, we go through, we get given a path, we follow that, we get the promotions, and then we ask ourselves, what if? So if you're there and you're wanting to know what the next step is, just start with the vision, choose a goal and commit to it, and then start taking small actionable steps consistently to move towards that goal and use the feedback to allow you to pivot as you go. My name is Lachlan Stewart. Thank you for listening.