The pandemic : How did it affect our MARRIAGE?

On this week's episode of Diva Tonight we talk to married couple Lisa and Tammie about their relationship, wedding during the pandemic and what is next in their future

We talk about relationships on the show and this week we talk to a couple who has been together for 10 years!

Love and marriage is always an interesting topic so we get into a deep discussion about it

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight.

Carlene 0:06

I have some great guests with me today. I have Tammy and her wife Kim. Hi guys, how are you? We are great. Good evening, Carlene.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

We're amazing.

Carlene 0:19

I like it. You're like my first very female couple. I love it. So tell me how long have you guys been together?

SPEAKER_05 0:25

Let's go 10 years. And we could go 10 years, one month. Depending on who's uh who's who's counting? You're counting. It's been 10 years and we just celebrate our 10th year. 10 year anniversary.

Carlene 0:41

Tell me, what did you guys do? What do we do for our anniversary?

SPEAKER_05 0:45

What did you do for your anniversary? Well, it sort of coincides with my birthday. My birthday's on Halloween. Yeah. And I'm a little bit of a Halloween, like uh, I started to celebrate the whole month. My birthday's the whole month. So, like celebrating an anniversary in a birthday just kind of makes sense. So it's uh we spent a whole week just what do we do? We um we did the haunted houses, of course, the whole theme of birthdays and haunted houses, and went to Toronto, spent time playing video games.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

We rented a we did the escape room. Yeah, so a combination of fun uh activities with some nice evenings out with friends and family.

SPEAKER_05 1:29

And then we ended the birthday with like a limo and took us to the wineries. It was lovely. It's just been a really great way to celebrate us being together for 10 years as well as celebrating life.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

We got married last year during COVID, so 10 years together, but a little over a year married.

Carlene 1:47

So you said you got married last year during the pandemic. How was that?

SPEAKER_05 1:52

Cost us like$400. It was the best wedding ever. It was five people. It was Kim and I, two witnesses, her mom, a good friend of ours, and the officiant. And we got married across, like we live in a condo. There's a condo that we can see. We got married in their backyard with a gazebo. It was raining, it was beautiful. We said our I love you, and it was perfect, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah, yeah. I mean, we had uh anticipated uh something different, but when things like COVID happened, you kind of make the best of the situation, and it was fantastic the way that it turned out.

Carlene 2:31

Oh, that's amazing. I like your positive outlook on that. So you guys didn't decide to change when the wedding would happen because of the pandemic. You just decided to go ahead with it despite everything, right?

SPEAKER_05 2:44

Yes, we would say that we had gotten engaged the year before, and the only requirement Kim had is that we had to get married within a year. So that was my get deadline. And we got married and uh engaged in Belize, and she said one year, and we got engaged in May. So we had to get married by the next May, regardless of COVID or anything, we had to get married. So it was a great story. Probably everything was closed, we can't get a license, we can't find efficient, and about probably um the deadline. So my the clock's ticking, it's May. We have to get married, and probably about two weeks in, I saw a little blog post on Facebook about the only place in Ontario other than Ottawa that was issuing marriage certificates in the pandemic was in St. Thomas, Ontario, which is only an hour and a half away. So I was like, perfect. So I jump in the car, we ran, we we drive down to St. Thomas, we get a license, I Google, give me an efficient. We find one. She happens to live literally across the road from us. So we literally just was able to walk over and get married, and I meet the deadline. I got Kim's deadline in.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

Yeah. For us, it wasn't so much like how the wedding itself played out. It was more that we wanted to have him, like it's it's a special union for us. And uh it's not, you know, the need to have a lot of people or a fancy wedding or anything like that. Like we do we did have goals to do that, and we would like to be able to do that in the future still. But for us, it was more the goal of being able to come together as a couple, like united in in marriage.

Carlene 4:29

So oh, that sounds beautiful. So, where did you guys meet? I mean, obviously, you guys have been together for 10 years, and so where did you meet? And how did uh your journey, like your relationship, start essentially?

SPEAKER_05 4:42

Well, I moved to Waterloo in uh 2010, and it happened to be the coincide with the same year where there was a lot of gay suicides in North America, and so there was this time of or movement called it gets better. So it was telling the youth just to hold on, just get through high school, hold on, you know, you know, later on it will get better. And there was a lot of vigils happening throughout North America, and that just come from Halifax, and they were putting on a vigil probably the same day that I had just moved to Ontario, and I wanted to participate, I wanted to go and show solidarity to my community and sort of research if there was a similar vigil happening in Kitchener. 24 hours prior to that, Kim decided to organize a vigil here because she's part of this community. And so I saw the posting for the event. Perfect. I can come here.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

But but the thing is that she sat at the bar there and she was chatting with one of my friends, and I had never seen her before, but she looked like she knew my friend very well. So I just went up there and I said, Who are you? And how come, like asking my friend, how come you haven't introduced me to her? Because it just seemed like they were best friends. And then they just looked at each other and they said, We just met. Jamie is so friendly, she can go anywhere, and you know, in an instant, she'll make friends with you, she'll know your whole life story.

SPEAKER_05 6:16

And yeah, that's the island in me. You know, I'm an island girl, so that's how we do. Which island are you from? Antigua. Oh, okay. I'm from Antigua, yes. Yeah, but yeah, we were friends for a year, and then when we were both available at the same time, I said, no, it's my turn.

Carlene 6:35

You know, like you guys obviously got married during the pandemic, but I think a lot of things that people talk about is like how the relationship like it's a little bit challenging because if you work from home or did you have any of those issues, like you know, like you're spending more time indoors and needing like the breakout and that kind of thing. So, how did you guys deal with that?

SPEAKER_01 6:55

I think that it it actually brought us close to together. Uh, I had always been working from home prior to the pandemic, and Tammy was mostly working from home. I think you were going to the office about what once or twice a once a week, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:08

So we've always worked from home together, so that didn't change in the pandemic.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

Yeah. Basically, we almost see each other 24-7 now. There's really only a couple of hours in the evenings where we separate to do our own things. But no, we we found that it brought us closer together because it gave us the opportunity to be creative, to find things that we can do individually, but then together, you know, to have fun together. We realized that we're gonna be stuck in this situation for a while, and we just wanted to make the best uh of it. So we did lots of fun and crazy things.

SPEAKER_05 7:48

First of all, we're very abundant-minded in terms of everything. There must be a way we we must find joy in any situation that's presented to us, and you'll find that that's a theme throughout our entire relationship. So, the pandemic, this is the situation. How could we find joy in this situation? And I'm so proud of how we've navigated this last year and a half. It's been an incredible time for us of self-reflection. We've uh grown individually and as well as a couple.

Carlene 8:23

Yeah, that sounds amazing. Like, I guess you guys have figured out things. So, like what you said you you have to be a little bit creative. So, what kind of things did you guys do that maybe you didn't do but didn't have to do before? Like, I know you're big on travel, right? And so that has changed, right, Tammy? Like you haven't been traveling as much as you probably did before, right? This is a perfect example.

SPEAKER_05 8:45

Our ability to travel, our love of travel, and how we're able to navigate that is a perfect example of us coming, being creative, coming together as a couple. So before the pandemic, we traveled quite a bit. And with the pandemic, we couldn't. And I said to Kim, if we're going to be on lockdown, how about we go and live in a different country and be locked down there? Which she quickly said, no. And I said, okay, well, I want to travel. So how are we going to make this work? Which I came up with the idea for my YouTube channel where I literally every week pretended to live in a different country. So I learned the language, I cooked the food, I learned and danced. I literally immersed myself in someone's culture. And I did that for 30 weeks. And so every day for seven days, every day for the probably about six months, that is what we did. So Kim and I created, like, for example, Estonia. Um, they I would learn about they have something called a wife-carrying competition where you literally take your wife and you flip her upside down and you race with her. Well, I have a wife, perfect. So what I did was I talked about it and I literally had her pretend race with just Kim and I, and I flipped her upside down and I ran with her. So we found so many ways to entertain ourselves pretending to live in different countries. And we went from Morocco to Costa Rica to where else do we go? Japan, Japan, Portugal, all in our minds. Yes, yeah, and it was amazing. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

And people say that they gained COVID weight, but I gained Tammy weight from all the delicious food that she learned to make from all of these places.

SPEAKER_05 10:36

So if you think about countries, and I tried to make as many of them as I could. And so I learned to make Moroccan food, I learned to make um Polish food. I I tried everything just to pretend like I was culturally traveling. It was an amazing experience. And I posted it on my YouTube channel, it was super fun.

Carlene 10:55

Yeah, I'll have to check out more of those. I think uh a lot of people definitely cooked a lot more during the pandemic or they try to cook different things, right? Because you're spending more time indoors and trying to do different things, right? So I love that. I guess when you're able to travel again, you'll have a little bit more insight into the culture, like because you learned everything anyway. So now you're kind of prepared.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Yeah, well, that's that's what we're really excited about. We we decided on the whim now that we're gonna go to Portugal uh for New Year's. Well, it started out that way, and then now it's it's uh branched out now that we're gonna explore not just Portugal, but um a good portion of Europe.

SPEAKER_05 11:34

So we'll leave in New Year's and we'll spend a couple of weeks. So we're gonna start in Portugal and figure out how we we're going to get away to Germany and then fly home. So that'll be a whole different adventure.

Carlene 11:47

Wow, that sounds exciting. I'm Carolina, this is Diva tonight. I have with me Tammy and Kim, and they've been together for 10 years and like they had this great small wedding. Like, you know what I mean? Who would have thought like you would have like such a small, intimate wedding, like five people? I think a lot of people decided to do that because that's if you want to get married, like there's nothing stopping you, right? Yeah, and your travel junkies too, which I love. That's so great. So tell me, what has been maybe like the challenging thing in your relationship? Has there been any challenges along the way?

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, I think it came out more at the beginning of our relationship where we were still getting to know each other, we're still trying to, I guess, navigate our roles in the the relationship and then what and how we wanted the relationship to to play out as a couple as well. And so I think at the beginning there was more, more I guess, challenges or or conflicts. Um, but we worked through them and now, yeah, it's quite easy and pleasant.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

Yeah, you know what? I I want to say this is the the biggest thing when I first started, because it was my first long-term relationship. And one of the things she said to me very early was, I am not responsible for your happiness. And you know what? If you hear those words in a relationship, especially in the beginning, where it's supposed to be the honeymoon stage, you can take you get taken back by it, right? Right. You think, what do you mean? Like, you know, we're supposed to be together, we're supposed to be, you know, I'm supposed to be your world, you're supposed to be mine. And, you know, and it was hard to swallow at first. But then over time, what I understood, it was a really powerful message because what I understood Kim to mean was that I'm Tammy, she's Kim, right? And I'm responsible to make myself happy. That is not responsibility, it is not on Kim or anyone for that matter. Tammy is responsible for Tammy's happiness. Kim is responsible for hers. And because of that, we when I'm not feeling aligned, if I don't feel positive, I don't go to Kim to try and make myself feel better. I go and find things on my own to feel better. And then when I'm in a good mood, then Kim and I come together. And then when we're not, we go apart. So it's this beautiful ebb and flow of sure, we have our differences in our times where we are on a line with who we are, which is you know, happy, positive, amazing people. There are times when we're feeling off of that track, we go on our own to fix it and then come back. So that means the responsibility isn't on Kim to make me feel better, and vice versa. And that's the biggest tip that we learned early on in our relationship.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

And we had to learn that. Yeah, we realize that if we didn't learn that and we didn't do that, that the relationship was not going to last. Because uh, I mean, there the whole idea of you complete me and such, like it's it's I don't think that that necessarily builds a lasting relationship. It really puts a lot of pressure on the other person and the relationship itself. And you know what I like about it?

SPEAKER_05 15:01

What teams angry am I dying got nothing to do with me? You go fix that on your own.

Carlene 15:06

So I had a uh couple of coaches on the the show, and they don't like what you guys are saying resonates with me with what they said. They said they don't believe in compromising. I think a lot of people believe that you have to compromise when you're in a relationship. But it sounds to me like you two have figured out a way where that doesn't always have to be like if you guys don't like something or Kim's having a bad day or you're having a bad day, doesn't mean that you have to figure out something. Do you guys do you guys believe in compromising in your relationship or like what's your your moral ground, or like what do you guys believe works in a relationship in terms of like when there's like challenges or arguments?

SPEAKER_05 15:42

Like, first of all, harder for me, I must say, like I come from a background where you talk things out. And I've typically, if we when we're having challenges, I want to like talk things out with Kim. And Kim's of the mind where no, when we're having a disagreement, she needs to be quiet, she needs to go away and process on her own. And I have to learn to respect that. And I think that's probably the biggest, you know, compromise that I have to make is you know, the way I want to handle a disagreement is probably different from how is definitely different how Kim wants to handle it. So the compromise in respecting each other's boundaries and saying, listen, I I just need, I need to, we need to remove ourselves from a potentially volatile argument and realize that, okay, at the core of our marriage and our relationship is that we love each other. That's that's the core, but right now is not a good time. Nothing's going to be solved if we keep talking, so to go away. So I've had to compromise how I deal with conflict for sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Yeah, and I think that certainly there is a level of compromising, but but I don't think that we compromise maybe the same way as other people, in that we will also consider like we won't compromise to the point where it's really affecting our ourselves, because when we do that, it's really not good for the other person either or for the relationship either. Um, and and so sometimes the compromise is okay, well, this is what you want to do, and this is what I want to do. And so let's go do those things. Rather than okay, well, what do you have to give up in order for, or what do I have to give up? You know, like it's not about one or the other person necessarily having to give her up or up or compromise something to make the other happy. Um, we've we've come to learn that sometimes the compromise is we both do what we need to do or want to do.

SPEAKER_05 17:43

I'm a dancer and Kim's a rock climber. And so, so for example, I don't have to go to the rock climbing gym and she doesn't have to come dancing with me. We the compromise is we're going to separate for these hours to do the thing that we love the most. What are we gonna? And when we come back, we're happy. We've done the thing that fills us with joy, and it's it only thing it does, it enhances our time together.

Carlene 18:09

Yeah, you know, that's interesting. I remember one of my friends said, like, we used to go see movies together, and like maybe sometimes I would go see a movie with him that maybe I didn't really want to see, and then he was like, Well, I don't want you to do that. Like, if you don't want to see the movie, I can always figure something out on my own or go see it on my own. So I feel like what you guys are saying is true. Like, you don't do everything together, and like it works that way where you guys separate but equal, right? In that sense, exactly. That's beautiful because we've been together for a long time. I guess what makes it work? What works for you guys? What do you think has made it work in terms of who you guys are as people? Because you said you have this is your first long this long-term relationship, right?

SPEAKER_05 18:52

So for me, Kim not for me. The biggest thing for me that I take from our relationship is freedom, and that's the biggest gift that Kim has given me. I have the freedom to be my full self, to express myself. And when I say so, like Tammy, to really connect to who Tammy is and honor that. And so Kim gives me, I don't have to pretend to be anyone else, I don't have to, you know, mold myself into something I'm not. I am Tammy. And I give Kim the freedom to be herself, express herself, to express her own goals and dreams. And our goals and dreams really align. Like we are, you know, we want to experience things, we want to fill life with joy and laughter and happiness. That is our goal in life. So our fundamentals are the same. How we want to experience that, some of it is the same, like travel, but some of them are completely different, and that's okay. So for us, on honoring who we are as individuals, I am Tammy, Kim's Kim, and honoring that, respecting that, but then knowing that at the core we have some values that are shared, which is what ties us together. And it's beautiful. I've seen Kim really blossom into an amazing woman and powerful and a creator, and and seeing her just go after her own goals and dreams. It's a beautiful thing to witness that in your partner.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

It's the same thing with Tammy, yeah. It is an incredible thing to know, you know, to have your partner share their dreams and and in my case, Tammy's dreams, her dreams. Um, but then to see her, as she says, blossom into it and pursue it. And like it's just it makes me happy when she is happy.

SPEAKER_05 20:47

Yeah. And then, you know, and we'll both, so we both have two different sort of paths. So Kim is more like financial abundance, I'm more like life abundance in sort of the same stream, but they're two different sort of paths. And when one of us does something incredible, we have this little handshake between us where that's like a little personal handshake. Oh my god, high five wife, you've done something so amazing. And we celebrate those milestones and accomplishments on her own journey, as well as when I have a similar accomplishment on mine, she celebrates me. So it's a very smooth partnership that way.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

And I think it's also we've become each other's best friends too. Yeah. So yeah, we we will support each other, we will share and confide with one another, and we will, you know, like experience the joy together. We like to seek out joyful experiences in life.

Carlene 21:40

So I like that what you said about sharing each other's dreams and being there for each other when you guys have ambitions and goals. And it sounds like do you believe in in soulmates?

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Not necessarily a soulmate in that there has to be just one. I think that there could potentially be more than one, but right now, like it's more the experience of right. Now, Tammy and I are connected now. Not to say that that may or may not change or that I wanted her to change or not. Um, I'm just open to the experience and appreciating what what we are experiencing now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:13

You know what? It's so interesting. You said that I I did a blog post when Kim and I were together about seven years. We're in seven years in our relationship. I did this Facebook post and it came up in my memories. And it's really interesting. Um, I basically said that I was a complete person before you. And if you and I choose not to continue this path holding hands, I will be a whole person after you. Right. So I even if Kim and I were to separate, we would still be beautiful, whole, amazing people on our own path. That being said, I am really enjoying holding hands right now, walking together. So that you know, so we honor that. So we do respect that, you know what, things may change. You know, later on in the future, we may decide that you know what, this was an amazing time together, but it it we no longer want to walk holding hands, and we will honor the time that we've shared and we will continue our own journey. But that being said, for right now, what a what a journey, what fun we've had. Yeah.

Carlene 23:20

Wow, you guys are so real with that. I don't think I've had anyone just say that it's working now. And if it doesn't work, like I guess you guys have this open mind about it. You said you were whole without her. I guess you're obviously you've kind of found that place in your in your mindset where you're comfortable with yourself and like you found someone to be comfortable with. Is that what it is?

SPEAKER_01 23:40

Or yeah, and not being dependent on on I think that's what really it comes down to being whole with oneself, is that you're not dependent on somebody else or anything outside of you to kind of feel that wholeness. Like, I mean, it would be, I would be extremely sad and and sure devastated if Tammy and I were not to be together for whatever reason, or or if uh something should happen that would separate us. But as she explained, it's not her that defines me, or she's not me and she's not my life. And so whatever happens, it's still I'm still only gonna have me, right? And so that's the wholeness is me, and and just doing the best with whatever gifts that I am given to do the best with that, but not being dependent on it so that should something happen to change that situation, that I can't live live my life.

SPEAKER_05 24:33

And that's the relationship. You you this this show is about relationships, but you know what? The biggest relationship is uh, and I believe it is the is a relationship we have before myself, yeah, right. And so I I truly believe that everyone has a and I'm I'm gonna use a universal force, like there's a spirit, there's a God, there I'm gonna say that, like there's a God within each one of us, and that what we're connected to. That look that that beautiful piece of ourselves, if you close your soul, your your eyes and you sort of connect to that feeling of joy and peace, that's with yourself, right? That's internal. And if you have that, you can go anywhere, you can be with anybody because it's not that that relationship is with the the God that's in Tammy and the God that's in Kim. And those, you know, you know, we we we come together and we experience things together, but that peace and joy and happiness and love, that unconditional love, that that's that's internal, right?

Carlene 25:39

That's a very good way of putting it into perspective. Because I was gonna ask you what advice you have for people who are like you know, looking to go on dates who are single. Because I think uh when you get older, it's like that thing, it's just like, oh, when are you when are you gonna get married and all these things? But I think what you guys have said is like being comfortable with yourself too, right?

SPEAKER_01 26:00

So I would say the advice that I would give is yeah, everything that you know about relationships and everything that you know about dating, just check it out the door and and be open, be open to the experience of what is gonna come to you. Um, you'd be surprised at what the universe is gonna deliver. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:18

The universe is the the best planner. Like if you really think about some of the experiences you had in in life, you know, and when you start to appreciate and live your life in gratitude for all things, gratitude for every experience, like you just you realize how abundant we are, you know, and to be single, that's an amazing time. Like it's not a time, you know, it's it's it's not you don't have to be anywhere. You are where you want to be, where you're supposed to be, and then see that as an opportunity where you're going, what you're doing. Like you are free to do whatever you like. So to me, like being single isn't a bad thing, it's it's just a it's a point of your life where you get to celebrate. And if you sort of see it that way, then you could just change your perspective. Like you, you, you basically get like I was, I you know, you I say that Kim is made in my first long-term relationship. I was single for 10 years, I was single, and I was like, I was dating me, myself, and I. I went wherever I wanted to go, I did what Tammy wanted to do. I literally every day woke up and said, What would make Tammy happy today? And that's what I did as a single person. So for me, like you know, if you are single, what that's a time to experience everything that you want to experience on your own and really develop that relationship with yourself. And it's not a bad thing, you don't have to rush into you know marriage or dating or whatever the case is. If somebody comes, you enjoy that experience. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

Yeah. And and I think also the other reason that I say, you know, check out everything that you know or we're taught out the door, is because people are starting to redefine what a relationship means, right? Like Tam and I, we have separate rooms with separate beds and all of that. And so if we wanted to, we could sleep in our separate beds or we could come together. Um and when we tell some of our friends or some people that we meet about that, they kind of look at it as funny and they're like, seriously, some of them are very envious because that's what they want, um, but are scared to do it. Right. And other others of them are like, wow, I can't do that. I couldn't imagine doing that. But it's a new way of being in a relationship. There's nothing, there's no reason why we always have to be sleeping in the same bed together all the time, or why we always have to be, you know, in that same room. Why can't we have separate rooms?

SPEAKER_05 28:53

Yeah, I just learned about our relationship where they have separate houses. One person lives in Oakville and one person lives in Waterloo. They have they're married couple with completely separate houses. So and they make it work, and they make it work, right? So you define once you're honest with what you want, what you're looking for, and be open to all possibilities, you will find what it is. I I truly 100% believe that the universe will provide whatever it is that makes us truly happy. I 100% have full confidence and faith in that.

Carlene 29:28

Those are some beautiful words, guys. Yeah, I like that. I like that. It's just finding what works with you guys. And obviously, it seems like you guys aren't conventional necessarily. Like, you know, there's some conventional relationships where we have this is how we do it. We're gonna go to dinner together, we're gonna hang out, but you guys make it work with different things too. Like you do a lot of things together, obviously, but separate. But I love your journey and I appreciate you sharing your just experience. One question. Sometimes I find like with interracial couples, there might be that issue with cultures and that kind of thing. Have you guys found any issues like that? Or how has that been?

SPEAKER_01 30:02

Um, I think that yeah, there was probably a bit of a culture shock for my family. Uh, one bringing home a woman and then yes, bringing home home, bringing home a black woman as well. Yeah, that it was it was different, but my family very quickly, you know, embraced Tammy and they love her. Oh my goodness. When whenever we connect, it's not hey camera, how are you doing? It's hey, where's Tammy? What's she up to? Say hi to her for me. So yes, no, they've totally uh embraced her now.

SPEAKER_05 30:35

But uh what's the biggest thing I love? Kid likes so music. And I must say, like I I'm I'm a culture, I love cultures, and I've always been, you know, in uh fascinated with well, I always believe that every culture has something beautiful to experience, and I've really embraced the Vietnamese culture. So I will celebrate Chinese New Year. I've I took Vietnamese classes for two years. I can only speak to about a five-year-old, but that's okay. So I've you know, we come from two different backgrounds. Uh as I said, I'm I'm from the islands, and so Kiman has to had to experience carnival for the first time dating me and listen to Ahsoka music, and she's embraced that as well as I've had to embrace sort of the Asian culture, which is a a lot different than my own, but like it brings a richer experience, right?

SPEAKER_01 31:30

It really does, yeah. Yeah, and we feel connected. Like I I totally feel like I have a passion for Ahsoka and carnival and all of that now. Like it was kind of it was like hidden, and Tammy brought it out of me, and I think it's the same for her with the Asian culture, and yes, the food.

SPEAKER_05 31:48

I've never had sweet uh red beans before. So now and now I go to the Vietnamese restaurants or the Vietnamese one order Asian desserts for myself, which is fun. Oh, yeah.

Carlene 32:02

Yeah, it's like a little bit of everything you guys have embraced each other's culture and like like it's it's obviously you've brought a lot to the relationship, which is amazing, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:11

We're very fortunate because I don't think that other families, you know, not everybody's gonna have this the same experience. So yeah, we feel like we're very fortunate.

Carlene 32:21

That's so true. Yeah, especially when they come from different cultures. Not everyone is like, I mean, we're you we say we're in 2021, and like, you know, we would hope that things are different, but there's so many little issues along the way, right? Not everything is ironclad, but it's I'm happy that you guys have that relationship where you know they embrace your both your cultures, and that's amazing. Yeah, it's good to have that too, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:47

Yes, absolutely.

Carlene 32:48

I think when you guys care about each other, it doesn't matter. Like if the those things are in the way, like you make it work. I think a lot of people like this just depends on the the couple, but you guys obviously have a history and like who knows what the future holds for you guys. I just want to give you time to share, Tammy, because I know you're very active on social media, so you can share your social media for the person who's listening, you know.

SPEAKER_05 33:12

Thank you so much. This is a great platform to share. And my YouTube channel is Tea Time with Tammy, and it really is about the abundance of life, like all the joys that I've experienced, and not just, you know, abundance doesn't only mean financial. And yes, a lot of it is financial, but what do you do with that? You know, how do you find joy, even if you had no money? Can you still laugh? Can you still embrace life? Can you have adventures? And so my channel was all about when I first started about I can't travel, like you know, how can I enjoy every single day and laugh and make someone smile? So I did videos every single day, and I love that experience. And now the world has opened up, my channel is you know evolving into these more adventures where able to Kim and I get to see the world and and have different experiences and meet people from all over. And Kim's gonna join me a lot on my social media. You'll see her perform, but you'll see her more active as we get ready to transition. We're gonna spend next year, we're leaving to go to Asia for a year, at least. And so how are we? Yeah, we're leaving, it's gonna be the journey to Japan. And we're starting off in Osaka. We're leaving November of 2022, and it's going to be all about us, you know, just immersing ourselves in the Asian culture. We're gonna make our way from um probably Hong Kong, make our way down to Bali and wherever we are in between, and we'll share that on our journey. And part of that too is how are we going to fund that? We're going to be doing that using passive revenue streams that Kim can share through the channel. So it's really just sharing our abundant lifestyle. So that's Tea Time with Tammy. Yes, please. Got to put the two M's on the IE. And I also have my Facebook, which is also Tea Time with Tammy, and I'm also on Instagram, uh T for Tammy. So you'll see me all over. And it's one of the biggest uh compliments I have is when someone watches our video and and really feels uplifted and smile. And if you can share that with one person, that's amazing. And if we can show how an abundant mindset can change your life by living in gratitude and being open to experiences and how rich life can be, then my goodness, you know, we we are truly richly blessed. We get to share that on our platform.

Carlene 35:47

Yeah, well, it sounds like the future is exciting, and I'm happy that you guys will get to do like, you know, your next trip coming up, which sounds so much fun. And thank you for being a guest on the show. I appreciate you both being here and sharing your story. I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight. We have a special guest, Tyra Delpino. This is his single off the EP, barely holding on.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

You can spend your whole life trying to work it out. Never gets any easier to shake it out. 30 bucks worth a living done the best I care. Never got stuck at the first friend Well my head's in a it's going round and around It's wandering never knowing I'm down to that one in the morning I feel free to tent the bottom in a minute and all that all day all day Well the story keeps going on and inside Nothing left here to do but to ride the bright And when your heart stops beating and you're on the ground Was it a life worth living? What are you worth now? Was it a life worth living, what are you worth now? A little piece of moment It's just so hot so, I'm Carleen, and this is Diva Tonight.