Money Conversations That Change Everything

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Amanda

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You're listening to D.Va Tonight with Carleen Humphrey, a relationship podcast with a focus on life, love, and friendship. Welcome to Diva Tonight.

Carlene 0:12

Hi, I'm Carleen, and this is Diva Tonight. I have with me on Zoom Amanda Kazar. Yeah. Okay. She is a financial advisor based in Australia's Gold Coast. I love that. Oh my gosh. I I wonder if you've watched that movie. This is this is such a side note, but the movie's called Adore. It's about these two grandmothers and they're best friends, and they end up one of them has an affair with the other one's son. And I'm putting that on the watch list.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Oh my God. I just have a son. Oh my gosh. I might be corrupting a 10-year-old daughter.

unknown 1:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Definitely not the same storyline.

Uganda And A Hand Up

Carlene 1:07

But if you ever get the chance to slow down and watch that movie, oh my goodness. Yeah, you make me feel like I mean, talking to you. I feel like I'm there, even though I've I've actually never been to Australia, but um put it on the list. Yes, I will. I will. So you have done a lot and you've traveled a lot. You know, what's interesting is that you've done a lot of community work, and I see that you've been to Uganda. What was that like?

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Oh, I actually cried when I left Uganda. I think Africa gets under your skin. You know, there's big skies in Australia, but somehow they're bigger in Africa. The people were beautiful and and welcoming. And, you know, it's not, I suppose, the safest place to be. We were quite protected. You know, it's a bunch of white ladies traveling around Uganda and with the the charity we were with. But it was, I suppose, the human spirit story of it. I was with a group that I I guess the best way of putting it is they provide a hand up, not a hand out. So they were teaching people how to be better farmers, better shopkeepers, better in agriculture, better in their communities, um, how to step up in midwifery and make a better life, instead of waiting to be rescued by an aid agency or the local elders or the tribe or the government, was well, it's always been this way for you guys. If something's gonna change, maybe it has to be you. And you know, when people go, you know what, I'm gonna embrace that, instead of going, No, I'm sitting around waiting to be rescued generation after generation, and to see those who'd stepped up, taken on the education, were now providing not only for their families but their extended families, and giving back to their communities and becoming self-sufficient and the pride and joy they had in sharing those stories, uh just magic coming out of that. So, yeah, saw that also in Malawi. But Uganda, I stayed back then and did the um trek to the Silverback Mountains near the border of Congo and Rwanda as well. So that was magic also to be with the Silverback Gorillas. So, yeah, look, what could you walk away and not love about Uganda?

Building A Career In Financial Advice

Carlene 3:19

Yeah, I I mean, I know my sister's been, and I I think she stayed for a week and then she was doing like volunteer work, but I guess it's it's it's the community that brings people together. Um, and so that's the most beautiful thing, I guess, in in part of your the work that you're doing, because you've done a lot in the years that you've worked as a financial advisor, you know, starting off years ago, obviously. We started off in is it 2015 or before that? Like a way before that, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:48

So I've been advisor since 2000 and I worked for an advisor for another eight years or so before I became an advisor. So forever, since school, basically. Yeah, yeah. So it's in your DNA, right? My my dad was an insurance guy, and so I grew up hearing, you know, phone he'd had we worked from home, my mother wasn't always well. So I'd hear, you know, policies and premiums and all the jargon and the talk all my life. And I'd question him about it at the dinner table. What's a policy? What's a premium? What's the sum insured? What's it all mean? So, yeah, it kind of was in the DNA. And then a friend of his had an opening, a girlfriend of mine was moving away to Sydney. He needed a new secretary. So dad said, Do you want to work for this guy? Who back then he was what we'd call a life-y, someone who sold life insurance and some retirement products. And so I started as his secretary at about 18, 19 after high school, and bought him out in 2014. So had a lot of sweat equity in the business and building it up. So yeah, been around it forever.

Why Most People Never Learn Money

Carlene 4:50

Yeah. I guess they say the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And like I think it's it's like that you were like your parents are kind of like your role models. And so if you have good role models, then that kind of like shapes your path on to where you go in your career and your life, right? And so you wrote the book, and I realize from the conversations you've had with other entrepreneurs, it seems to be a recurring thing that being taught about money and how to manage money is not something that a lot of people learn at a young age.

Money Talks Couples Avoid

SPEAKER_02 5:28

No. And I I think the reason is that their parents weren't taught and their parents weren't taught, and their parents weren't taught. So we've got this intergenerational lack of knowledge. The education system fails us completely in this space as well in most countries. Financial literacy certainly isn't in the curriculum. We've got this Edwardian, you know, system that's still being set up in most Commonwealth countries. So, you know, lots has got to change to make a more practical life-based skill set for people. So when you ask anybody what'd you learn about money, the answer's first thing is nothing. And the second one's probably, oh, money doesn't grow on trees. You know, just there's a few cliches that families use. So but there are lessons you pick up. You know, if you look back, did your parents have a scarcity or an abundance mindset? And you know, if they grew up post-war to parents who'd been through the depression or grandparents, you know, they became hoarders. You know, they did reduce, reuse, recycle. They didn't throw things away, they made do. They they, you know, didn't live in a consumer society. We can go buy another t-shirt for three dollars if you want to. You know, they bought quality and it had to last, and they darned their socks and they sewed back on buttons where you know, we don't do that. It's like, oh, I can get another three or four dollars and just chuck it and off I go. So very different societies to grow up under, and also very hard, you know, to be teaching someone about reduce, reuse, recycle when just like, come on, why am I gonna why am I gonna do all that when I can just get something for nothing? So it's a throwaway society now. So even the lessons that may have been passed on aren't relevant. I know one of the ladies in the book told me that every time they drove past a lovely home, her parents would say, There must be pretty bad people in there, you know, only people who do the wrong thing can get ahead in life. So she grew up hearing that rich people were bad people. So, you know, there's these lessons that we hear. And unless one day you stop and go, wait a second, is that true? Does that still serve me? Which often that self-awareness smack on the side of the head we get takes a bit longer than we'd probably like it to. But we we don't often stop and have those conversations and go, actually have a thought about what where my thoughts on money came from. You know, often spenders will marry savers and there's massive conflict because someone just money's like water and it flows through your hands and it's used like manure and it should make things grow. And others like, no, we've got to hold on to everything, you know, the the world could end tomorrow and I've got to have it all. And so, you know, there's these very different ideas, unless we examine where both of them came from. I mean, you might sit down with your partner and go, Do you want to have kids? Yeah, I want to have kids too. Let's get married. What are your thoughts on money? What did your parents teach you about money? How how do you feel? You know, do you spend, do you save, do you work towards goals? We don't we don't have those discussions. The really, really important ones that are going to impact how we fund that kid.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

So yes. Did you did you have those conversations with no?

Carlene 8:34

No.

SPEAKER_02 8:35

See, we we did discuss do we have joint accounts or individual accounts, how soon should we combine our money? Is everything ours? And from very, very early we decided that because that's what both our parents did. And when we're in our 30s, we went through this stage where I'm like, I'm not sure I like you so much anymore. I don't know if I want to come home to you still. And we separated everything. We've now been married 32 years, but we've kept that separation of assets, and it's something I also teach younger clients that you need to keep that independence, having now seen so many vulnerable women controlled by other people who have no escape plan because they've given up all their own independence. You know, it's a massive thing to talk about really, really early. You know, do you both keep your independence, keep your incomes, but then you go, look, I'll contribute. Is it gonna be 50-50 to the bills? Is it actually you make twice as much as me, it'll be two-thirds, one-third. How are we going to fund our future lifestyle? What are the goals we're gonna work towards? They're they're all big questions, and you know, they don't all need to be answered today, but they will come up in life. And communication is one of the hardest things to do with a partner. Go and ask somebody's girlfriends and she'll know all about what this guy's problems are, but she she probably hasn't had the chat about the problems with the, you know, with the partner. So we we really suck at discussing these things together.

Emotional Spending And Dopamine Triggers

Carlene 9:59

It's true. I I I I won't say my that boyfriend's name, but when I lived with one of my boyfriends, we didn't, yeah, we didn't talk about money, but like as much as we should, like I knew he always said because he made more money that he would pay like the rent, and then I could pay whatever I could go for because I had just graduated university. So obviously I just started off and I had like this job in a call center, but I became like you know, like you said, you become kind of like your parents. So like I was very like snoopy trying to understand, like, you know, he has some savings and like he wanted me to watch the savings. But then when I did a little bit of digging, Amanda, I found out that he had student loans and like you know, he went to teachers college, but he hadn't been able to pay it because of what he was making when he started off as a teacher. And then you learn all these things. And I'm like, well, how are we gonna go away if you have these student loans? Because I'm like, there's one thing I learned with the government. When you have student loans with the government that they will find the bank account that you have, and like if it's linked to your account, they'll just go in and take out the amount without you knowing. Like, I'm not without you knowing, but like if you don't call them to figure something out, that's what happens here in Canada. And so that did happen to him. And I I I did warn him because I I I think I'm not the best with money per se. Um, not very disciplined because of my my own path, but I think I learned enough to know like what are the repercussions if you don't, right? Like trying to settle things. So I mean you're right, it it is hard when you don't have the same ideas of money, but I think we eventually figured something out so that it could be better. Because I I the one thing I can say is with him, we were able to travel. I think I was the first girlfriend to be like, okay, let's make a plan to go somewhere. Cause you know, I mean you've never been anywhere before. So we were able to go to Florida and then I think from that he wanted to go other places too. But like you said, it's kind of like that discussion that nobody really wants to have in the relationship or bring it up, right? So yeah. Yeah, it's a tricky one, but it's vital one as well. It is a vital one. So, you know, in my research, I've learned that, you know, a lot of discussions come up about money, money management. But the one thing that I think not a lot of us talk about, and I think you brought it up briefly, is the emotional side of money and how that affects us in the long run in terms of like planning a budget and like just your emotional connection to it or what it does for you. Because I think as a woman, like we, you know, when you're depressed or when you had a bad day, you go and buy something and you feel like that instant gratification, right? The dopamine, yep. Yeah, that so what's your advice in terms of tackling that, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:56

I think again, it's the taking that time out to have a review. What do I do when I'm, you know, either in a mood or if I'm not feeling great? You know, is it do I eat comfort food when I've got the miseries? If you know I've had a bad day, what are our you know self-sabotaging habits? And most of them are linked to money. Usually, if we've got the miseries, we're not going to go, that's it, I'm running off to the gym. I'm gonna do a workout, you know. I mean, some people do, absolutely. It is their go-to, but you know, for most of us, it's sitting there with a pint of ice cream in front of some movies or ordering a pizza or you know, that new handbag or the shoes because suddenly we deserve them because we're miserable. So I think examining what's my go-to when I'm not feeling the best, you know, and it could it could have even started as you know, a rule reward system. You know, there was a little boy who was in my life for a while who, oh, you've been a good buy boy on buying your McDonald's was where he's his grandmother's go-to. So he ended up connecting good behaviour with junk food, and his father had a terrible weight problem because it had been perpetuated, you know, now into the second generation. So identifying those, I suppose, triggers for us personally. You know, it might be, you know, the latest top or the latest handbag or the latest shoes or comfort food, whatever it is. I think being able to go, oh, that's my downfall. Now that I'm aware of that, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna go and grab the handbag or am I gonna go, you know what, I'm gonna wait 24 hours, see if the mood lifts, throw the credit card in the freezer in a block of ice, make sure I can't get to it. I mean, okay, I know you can tap your phone now, but that's an old-fashioned way. So what am I gonna actively do to manage that? Is there something I can distract myself with? Should I go for a run? Should I read a book? Should I, you know, what else can I do to lift my mood? Could I journal? Could I listen to music? Could I watch my favorite movie? You know, if I see the Princess Bride one more time, I'm still gonna be in love with it tomorrow. So I'm gonna watch that again. Whatever it is that we could do to go, that habit's got to change, but we need to replace it with something because we're not very good at just going, oh, I recognize that now, moving right along. You know, it's like when you smoke, it's for a lot of people, it's like I just need that that something between my fingers, or I need to be able to go outside and do something. It's it's often the activity more than the hit, perhaps. You know, so okay, well, will I go and have a cup of coffee? Will I go for a walk? What will I do to take my mind off it? And look, but look, if you can just recognize it and go, oh, there it is again. I know when I'm starting to feel depressed, I get this feeling like something really bad's gonna happen. Things are getting out of control or things have been going really good, they can't stay that way. I think something and I'm like, okay, the black dog's out to get me. What can I do to change my mood so that that doesn't continue? I know it's now one of my earliest signs of I'm a bit under the weather, things are getting on top of me, I don't want to spiral. What can I do instead? So I think it's that self-awareness and just knowing in our own mind what our triggers are, and then going, well, what can I do instead?

Carlene 15:55

Yeah. You know, it's interesting you say that because um before our conversation, I listened to a podcast. And and you know, in the new year, it's it's always about planning ahead. Like we're gonna make goals for the new year, and uh a lot of conversations stem from money. And I was listening to the greatness podcast. I forgot the host name, but he was saying that in every stage of life, I think you need to be broke before you can figure out like when you're really broke and you're down and out, that's when things start to be more clear in your mind. And like you have like when you're down and out, that's when you're forced to make changes, right? Drastic changes, because there's you don't have an you don't have the you don't have money, you don't have the resources, you can't do the things that you want to do, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:44

And there's a great speaker in the US names Dan Clark, he's a hall of fame speaker, and he calls that place instead of being rock bottom, whereas like we've hit rock bottom, you know, the only way to go is up. He calls it rock foundation because it is the foundation of what we build next. And it sounds so much more like a starting place than rock bottom. Because you sort of think that's it, I've bottomed out. I guess I can only go up, but I'm gonna wallow here for a bit. But when it's a foundation, the first thing you think of is what am I gonna build on this? So it's it's a you know, it is that can I start a tower now? Can I just put a little cottage, whatever it's gonna be? So it's a really brilliant place to start. And some people have told me one of the guys in my book when I um was interviewing him about money, he just he was an Australian forensic cop who'd just been serving after the um the tsunami in Bali that hit was I think it was Boxing Day 2005. It's about 20, 20, 2004, it's about 20, 20 something years ago. Banda Arche, mess 200,000 people died, and it one of his jobs was to repatriate the bodies back, and he'd he'd fly back to Australia and his marriage was over, and he was living out of his suitcase in a car. And he started one of the most beautiful charities in the world called Hands Across the Water to help the orphan children from that moment when he was at rock bottom. So you know, beautiful things can happen when that when we we're down in that place.

Carlene 18:10

Yeah. No, I feel like I'm not totally rock bottom, but I I'm definitely having to, what do you call it? Swahili. Yeah, I have to swim it upstream water right now.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

You know what I mean?

Carlene 18:25

It's like I'm like, I got my it's I got myself here, you know what I mean? Uh and then it's I'm I'm one of those people that I mean I'm very resourceful. And I think as a survivor of many things, Amanda, I think when you are resilient and you've been through so much, you're like, okay, I gotta figure out a way. What am I gonna sell? I'm gonna sell this, I'm gonna sell, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Like, you know, uh that gorgeous swan, everything looks beautiful on the surface, and your little leggies are going underneath.

unknown 18:52

It's fascinating. Exactly.

Carlene 18:56

Right? Like, I think if you have a community of people who are willing to help you, I I realize it more than ever. Like, you know, my my sisters are, you know, like you have you know having those people in your life to help you when you're when you need that lifeboat is the starting point, but obviously planning ahead. And so you said in your book, so the book is financial secrets revealed, you've done a lot of research. And like the one thing, I guess, is the power of financial education, right? And and you have the backing. Um, you have a master, a master's in um financial. Am I wrong?

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Wait, I know you have a master's, but Master of Financial Planning.

Carlene 19:36

Yeah, yes, I was correct with that. Um yeah, and so I mean, with that background, what do you feel that it taught you? Um, that was the most important thing.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

There's a part of me that thinks an educational background in money, it's very academic. You know, it's focused on this is how bonds work and this is how investment markets work, and there's market cycles and things go up and down. And you sort of sit there and do all that stuff, and it it's probably more the psychological side of money that's not touched on. Maybe it's more behavioral finance that I needed to look into for financial advice. Where how people react around money and they don't even understand why they have those responses, it's probably much more important than understanding that, you know, markets go up and down, that, you know, this is how to invest in a share and what's a PE ratio. It I think that's all quite academic when it comes to living and breathing and dealing with money. So I think, you know, sitting down and having those conversations, maybe even sit there with Chat GPT and go, I don't even know what to ask myself about money. How can I start learning my money personality or my profile or my pitfalls? You know, we've got these tools and technologies that are, you know, pretty much free and can can help us now. Why not take advantage of them? Or ask your best friends. They know what you like, they might not tell you. But if you sit there and go, look, I'm really trying to improve. Have you noticed when I'm down, what are my habits? When we go out, you know, is there someone who's always reluctant to pay their share? Is there someone who's always big tipping? Oh, get today, you know, what what's my style? You know, am I more reluctant? Or so, and then having a think about, okay, well, that's how they see me. You know, are you the tight ass friend or the the generous friend? You know, which one are you? And and then sitting down and going, oh, I wonder, you know, please take it as feedback, not criticism. You asked. So why do I feel that way? What stories are coming up for me? You know, what did I see? You know, I've I've had people very impacted. They remember being an eight year old kid looking out the window and seeing their father's car towed, then finding out about bankruptcy and just in that moment as a child going, This will never happen to me. And just, you know, from that moment striving to be the most successful person in the world so that their car or their personal. Possessions would never be taken away. So it may be as something as simple as like, I didn't realize in that moment that I'd made that decision, or, you know, those things that impact us so long term. What what are some of those stories that come up? What are the top three things you remember from your childhood about your parents and money? Or maybe nothing comes up, or you need to sit and think about it for a while before those stories come up and then sort of have a think, you know, again, do the lessons I think I took from that actually still work? I mean, they were made with a brain that wasn't probably as well formed and educated as it is now. So we need to ask if if those stories still serve us.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

Diva tonight, glamour for your ears.

Budgeting As An Empowerment Tool

Carlene 22:39

Yeah. In all the self-improvement work I've done, I feel like if there's something that still triggers you, it's it's unresolved. Like I um I remember just not too long ago doing a workshop, and I'm like, wow, I clearly have some still still have some triggers, you know what I mean? And so I'm like, wow, I definitely need to work on that because it's it's it's not only the triggers of the childhood, but the triggers in your mind. Your mind is like plays an important thing to like the negative self-talk, and like, oh, you're like, I think it's always striving to be perfect, but there's there's no such thing. And so it all starts with you, right? And so when you sit down with your clients, though, I think the one thing I want to ask is like, what are the things that people should start tracking going forward if they haven't started with a budget? Like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Like, where do they I think a lot of people get probably hung up on the word budget? It's it's boring, your eyes roll backwards, it seems like a chore. I think viewing budgets, whether you want to call it a spending plan or whatever you want to call it, yeah, it's it's an empowerment tool. Because if you don't know your numbers, if you don't know that it costs you$479 a week or$3,246 a fortnight or whatever your number is to get up, eat every day, put a roof over your head, make sure there's clothes in the cupboard, that your kids can go to school, it's very difficult to know do I have anything left or am I going further into the hole? And I think because that's kind of confronting, people don't want to do it. But when you know the answer to that and break it down per pay packet, you know, just if you just had to live and nothing else, you never went on a holiday, there were no treats, what's it cost me just to live? If you know that number and then you can work out people use, oh well, I don't know what I'm gonna make each week. I I'm in a gig economy or it's I get commissions. I don't care. Know what it costs to live because then when you do have income come in, it's like, is it going to be enough or isn't it? Because if it is going to be enough, then you have choice. You have power. Where am I going to put the rest of it? Do I want to treat? Do I want to put it towards a holiday? Do I want to bring down debt? Do I want to start investing? Do I want to take time off down the track to have children or a family or whatever it may be? That gives you power. And I think understanding that, and then you can do your goal setting. It's so much easier to say no to the handbag, the shoes, the Siggy's if you've got something to work to. And all of a sudden, if it's like, well, actually, we don't make enough, we are going backwards each week, which I didn't realize. Something's got to give. And it could be, right, we have to lose one or two of the streaming services. We can't go out on Friday night for takeaway anymore. And look, these could be temporary things. Or I actually do need to ask for that pay rise that I've been putting off for one or two years. Or maybe I need to stack shelves at night to get us out of the hole. But it gives you the power to make the decision. Can I sell off the old golf clubs that I'm not using anymore to finish those payments? Whatever it may be, it gives us the power and control back over our lives. Instead of just going, I can't do it because I'm so stuck and I don't want to know the answer. Knowing the answer, you know, know the truth, it'll set you free. Gonna borrow that from a really good book.

Carlene 25:52

Another cliche saying, Amanda, come on.

SPEAKER_01 25:57

It's not mine, all right.

Carlene 26:01

I know, but I love those quotes because it's it's so true. It's I say them to myself all the time. It's like when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. You know what I mean? Like, come on, you know.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Um it's boring and it's you know, there's there's no magic silver bullet, and you do have to do the work and you know, it takes time and you know, but at least you can start uncovering your options then.

Carlene 26:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:28

And if you don't know how to do it, again, throw your bank statements into TET GPT and say, what am I doing wrong? Where am I overspending? Put this into a budget for me that I can look at. What's my average grocery spend? You know, we've got the tools to help now. We don't have to think so hard about this anymore. Where can you see that I can improve? What could I cut back on? You know, nothing secret anymore. They're all out, throw 12 months of statements in and go, tell me what I'm doing wrong.

Surviving Cutbacks With Frugal Creativity

Carlene 26:52

Yeah. I know because you're you're in Australia. I mean, you obviously help more like your clients are in Australia, but I think at the end of the day, money is money. We all need to figure it out to survive because things are changing in the economy in the world, like especially with things that are happening right now in the US and Canada. And, you know, the one thing I think is important to bring up is what to do if your hours have been reduced, if you're dealing with cutbacks and and you know, looking for another job to supplement your income. Like, how do you plan for that and to keep it going? Like keep the plan going, you know, like what do you tell your clients?

SPEAKER_02 27:35

I think if you're planning for it, if you think it might be on the horizon, I think the first thing you have to do is what used to be called good old-fashioned housekeeping and tightening the belt. It's it's again boring and hard, you know, but it might mean you don't have salmon this week. You might have tuna, like tin tuna. You might not be eating the more exotic cuts of meat, you're not buying the tomahawk steak, you know, you might just have to buy mints. You know, it can be little things like that. If there's big things, you know, if you've got three, four, or five streaming services, maybe you don't need Spotify for a few months. Maybe you can do, you know, you'll just have Netflix and not Stan and Disney and all the others. So there can be very simple things to cut back. And it's surprising how quickly some of those add up. I even knew another financial advisor who had two Netflix plans and he didn't even know he had the second one. Like signed up under two different email addresses. Like it's so easy to do. So that old-fashioned style of housekeeping will go, you know what, we are only going to spend 100 a week, 200 a week, 300, whatever it is on groceries with this week. And if that runs out, you know what? There are those things in the back of the freezer we haven't thought of. There is that tub of pasta in the cupboard. You know, let's get creative. Let's, you know, work out. Okay, I've got these ingredients. How can I make it work? It can be a bit of fun, a bit of a challenge, instead of, oh my God, I've run out of everything I want to eat and it's easy. How do I make things last? How do I, you know, can I get more out of each meal? How do I make it go further? Do I add, you know, more basic veggies or you know, it again, it's it's boring. And, you know, there's there's so many sites out there now on how to live frugal lives. You know, can you grow your herbs in the backyard? Can you, you know, get a tomato plant and a lettuce when the weather's good. So, you know, that there's places to turn when you don't know where to turn. So you just have to ask the right questions.

Carlene 29:24

Yeah. And you know what? I think it's about like that pride. Like if you have to use the food bank or if you have to, you know, find other resources to help you in those tough times. I think people all shy away from that, but sometimes you you do what you have to do to get back.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

Look, if there's there's friends going through similar things, maybe you sit together and do resources. Oh, well, you're much better at this. I can do the school run if you'd like to do that, and you help each other out. Like, you know, there's you can do a bit of a collective or a cooperative. First of all, like I, you know, I'll make the spaghetti, I'm brilliant at that. Someone else will do the a different dinner that you know, you you've got the casserole going. So you can go, well, I'll make five of these for your family and five for mine. And if you can do like so no, there's there's little innovative things you can do. Others might know about, you know, discounts that are available. Like you said, the food bank or vouchers, you know, I've got a client who's still, you know, she does have a good job and two kids, but it life is still a struggle for her. She does have to go and get, you know, a food parcel once a fortnight for the basics. So you do what it takes. You know, if you can't shop at your favourite shop anymore and you have to go to the, you know, it's a local Kmart or Coles for us, then, you know, if you have to get your shoes from there for a little while, then okay. Do what's practical? Working out what's really important. Is a beautifully home-cooked meal with my family way more important than spending two or three hundred dollars at a local restaurant and getting poor quality, non-nutritious food? When what if the kids help me? What if they could peel a carrot or a zucchini and we can all put this into a great big savory mince or whatever it is, you know, what would be more fun? Is that at home and a movie night, or is popcorn and movies at home more fun than taking five kids and family and all that out to the movies and spending a fortune when your credit card's already bursting? You know, maybe the kids come up with the movie this week, or you turn the couch into, you know, a hut, you put blankets and you make it a a sleep out in the ki in the lounge room. So how can we come up with these fun things to do that aren't going to break the bank when the bank's probably close to broken? So there's still fun stuff. I mean, we the board game nights, I mean, you know, they used to be a thing. Bring out the old monopoly or the scrabble, whatever it is. There's still ways to, and I think because of social media, and we're losing that human connection because we'll just sit on the couch, play on our phones, there's something going in the background till we fall asleep. Say we've watched, you know, the that entire series when we were probably, you know, playing Candy Crush instead. Like it's that's our lives. Like, how do we put all that away and reconnect and look people in the eyes and love them again? So it's getting back to that basic stuff, isn't it? Mm-hmm.

Carlene 32:03

Actually, you know what over the holidays, um, my sister and her in-laws, they're very good with that. Like the games, because the kids are so young, right? And so we always play some game. Like my sister's sister-in-law, she's always good with uh coming up with I she has games in the back of her mind, so she always plans something. And I think that's what makes it fun whenever we get together, like you said, to do those fun family game nights and getting back to the things that we used to do, right?

SPEAKER_02 32:30

You know, um, I think if you look back and go, what were the you know, three highlights of my childhood? Yeah, unless it was probably going to Disneyland, there's probably not a lot that involved a lot of money. It it was probably that ridiculous camping holiday where everything went wrong and it rained and you got stuck in the tent, and you know, you're playing with torches, or you know, it was the silly stuff that made the difference and it sticks out, not the the thousands and thousands of dollars that were spent somewhere, you know, and somebody had a tantrum and it all ended in tears. So because it does.

Planning Travel Without Debt

Carlene 33:02

It's true though. Yes, it is. As someone who's the oldest of five girls, you know, I totally get that. I'm just like, you know, I think back. But you know, the one thing I think I want to ask you is because you you do have a family and you run a family business, because you've traveled quite a bit. How do we plan for this year if we want to travel? Like, what are the steps to get there? You know?

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Okay. First step is always do your research, jump onto a webjet or a comparison site or something and go, like, what's it gonna cost us? You know, are we gonna fly economy, premium, or business? What's what's the go? How much is it gonna cost in airfares for this time to get there? How many people? You know, are we gonna stay in, you know, an Airbnb, a four-star hotel, or are we gonna go a little cabin? What what's what's our budget? And go, okay, this whole holiday is gonna cost$5,000,$10,000, whatever it's gonna be. We want to go for two weeks at Christmas, we're gonna budget for$200 a day spending money. So what's that on top? So I think working out, okay, we need$14,000 at Christmas this year to do the holiday we want. And then we break that down. We've got, okay, 20 pay packets left before we go,$14,000. Is there any possible way I can put away$800 a pay packet? Probably not. So we've got a couple of choices to make. Is that still the holiday we're gonna have at that time and go into debt for it? Or we go, you know what, let's work really hard and we'll do it Christmas the following year. Maybe we'll just do a little camping trip this year, or we'll have a staycation, or we'll go away for a nice long weekend. Because I think if we do the homework and do the numbers, we can either go, that's completely affordable and totally in my budget, and I'm really looking forward to it. And I'm going to start putting. So I have a constant debit when my pay comes in each week that I put$100 a week straight onto my travel money card in US dollars. So then it doesn't matter if the US dollar is strong or weak. I'm what they call dollar cost averaging. So I'm always putting money aside so that when I want to go, hopefully my, you know, 5,000 Australian will probably be any worth two or three American, but I've got some spending money when I go. So that if I have to book, you know, and I can turn that into whether it's UK money or Vietnamese dong or whatever it may be, I've got money sitting there always because I travel all the time that I can convert into a local currency. I can even leave it in Australian dollars till I'm ready to go. But for me, that's just something that's built into my budget. I put$100 a week Australian away for spending money when I travel anywhere because it's private spending usually. If it's worth spending, I've obviously got to work hard for that. So travel because it's such a big part of my life, it's part of my budget. So I actually, you know, include it every week. My husband would love to go and do all the Christmas markets in Europe. You know, that's going to be a lot dearer because the euro to the Australian dollar is pretty harsh. It's about half. So, you know, what would cost, you know, 5,000 euro is nearly 10,000 Aussie. So, you know, can I do that this Christmas? Probably not. Could I do it the next one? Probably. So, okay, if I need to now put$500 a month away between hubby and I, is that more affordable? Okay,$125 a week between us. We probably can. That's doable. So when you break it down into and do it per pay packet, um, you know, if you get paid fortnightly or monthly, break it down into that and see if it's affordable. And if not, you're gonna have to do the trade-offs. You know, okay, maybe it does mean flying a budget airline, maybe it does mean a backpack and and no car, you know, no underneath luggage, maybe it does mean staying in a place. But you know what, if the experience of what you're going there for, if you love hiking, does it really matter how you got there? Did anyone see you get off, you know, business class or first class? You know, if you're only going to be, you know, running up and down mountains and getting grubby, if that's your thing, probably doesn't matter. I mean, could you catch a bus? I I don't know. But what are you prepared to do for the experience? Or is it things you want to do? Like, do you want stuff? It every holiday is different for someone. Maybe you know, going to Europe to buy leather handbags is the best thing you've ever thought of. For other people, it might be climbing a mountain, or I've always wanted to I want to go dog sledding in the Arctic at some stage. That that's a bucket list. I haven't seen the Northern Lights, so I'd love to do that. That's a big one for down the track, not on the radar at the moment. But you know, those those kind of bucket list items. And there's, you know, I've got conferences to go to overseas this year that I do even for the business. The business puts money aside for those as well. So making it part of your budget and lifestyle, and you can't do that if you don't know what you're spending. If you don't know if you're even making ends meet right now, you don't know if you can put that extra hundred dollars away towards your spending money. So once you've got that control, it makes it so much easier to go, oh, that's totally doable. We can take the kids to Disneyland. I have peaked as a parent. There's nothing more I can do. My job is done. So, whatever it may be for your family, you know, that's that's the way to to approach it. Once you've got your handle on your money, you know if it's going to be part of the plan or not. Yeah.

Accountability Buddies And Finding Amanda

Carlene 37:59

That is that's a lot of food for thought. You know, definitely you broke it down. So where is your next trip? Is do you have one already planned?

SPEAKER_02 38:07

Oh, I just got back from Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos at Christmas. So I did three little countries in Southeast Asia. That was kind of cool. I'd love to go to Laos again. Laos, it's it's an incredible country, very untouristed, very laid back. I found Hanoi in Vietnam was just overwhelming. It was really busy, really noisy, really polluted, really packed. So many beautiful places, so many crazy places. So all the best parts of travel, basically. My husband always gets a stomach bug. That's always fun. So no. Is it the water? What is it? Is it the fire? Oh, who knows? It's just a 24-hour thing he always gets on a holiday. So I did have a day without him. I will be um heading back to the States later this year, probably California, for a conference in October. I've got a conference in Sydney. I have to go to New Zealand, Queenstown in March, one of the most beautiful places ever. So that's kind of cool. I try and add a new country every year, which I've ticked that box now that I I added Cambodia and Laos this year. So I put the little pins in my map that you might be able to see behind me. Yeah. Um yeah, but I have I haven't planned a new country yet. So I've also got two little grandbabies, so I don't like to be away from them for too long. They're only one and two at the moment, so they're all sort of tricks.

Carlene 39:21

Busy, busy mom, grandmom. And you know, this is an audio podcast for so for those for if you're listening, Amanda has a lovely backdrop with Brazil, Southern, like all, I guess, some of it's a map of the world, actually. You can't see the whole world, but um, from what I see right now, it's Brazil, you know, South America, which is beautiful too. And so with that being said, you are a financial planner, and you know, I think even when you're working on the budget on your own, it's always good to have someone giving you advice and giving you a help for those moments where you need to be accountable and someone to help you stay on track. So if they want to find you, you are on all the things, right? You're on LinkedIn, you're on Instagram, and how can we find you? So, LinkedIn, Amanda Cassar.

SPEAKER_02 40:16

I am the Australian financial advisor, not the American yoga instructor. So you will notice a difference when you look at our profiles. I do have amandacassar.com.au. So I've got the website too. Probably LinkedIn's the easiest. But you just said something really important, Carleen. I think the accountability buddy is really vital. If you've got a friend and you can do it's like going to the gym, you've got no motivation if your friend's not going and you want to go together. Money's the same. If you want to get a handle on your money and your finances, and you and your friend are always moaning that you can't afford another cocktail, or you know, you can only get one cup of tea this week or coffee with them. Sit there and do it together. Go, okay, did you stay on budget this week? Oh no, I, you know, Damon lost his shoes, or whatever it is, you know, you've got someone you can sit there and talk to. I've got a couple of people who who do pay me to help me manage their budget. I put them on a little retainer for 12 months until they're on track to to help. So, you know, maybe do that with a friend. You know, you don't have to pay unless you're serious. But, you know, if if they're prepared to do it with you, it's it's a great idea to have that accountability.

Closing Thoughts And How To Connect

Carlene 41:18

Yeah. Actually, I have a friend who's really frugal that way. I used to get so annoyed with him, Amanda, you know, and be like, Colin, like, you know, we would when I remember one trip we went away on, and I was like, we're taking the bus around, like, you know, but like there's a there's a method to his madness. I mean, he's been able to travel so much because of it, but he played the points game, you know, with your credit cards and always collecting the points, and he still does it now. So I mean he really is good that way. So yeah, like you said, having someone to help you stay accountable. I think that's what helped me stay. And now I've fallen off the past, so which is really important. But I thank you so much for sharing like all the things. Like, there's so much to learn about money, and like, yeah, you've given me some food for thought. So I'm definitely something to think about. Yeah, yes, of course you've you've made your you've done your mark for you know the start of the day, you know. Brilliant, pretty sure. It is yes, of course. You can have your coffee now. So if you want to support Amanda Cassar and get her book, it's called Financial Secrets Revealed, and it's on Amazon and a few other sites as well. Unknown.

SPEAKER_02 42:33

Yep.

Carlene 42:34

Yeah. But thank you again. So I'm Carleen, and this is Diva Tonight with Amanda Cassar.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Thanks for listening to DivaTonight. Follow us on Instagram at DivaOntheRadio. That's D.Va with two eyes. And don't forget to follow us on TikTok at Diva on the radio for more clips and conversations you'll love. Want to share your thoughts or send us a message? Text us anytime at divatonight.budsprout.com. Until next time, stay fabulous.