83: (Rerelease episode 35) End Dieting as a New Year’s Resolution
Jan 13, 2023Episode 83
Kim McLaughlin
I love the New Year. It feels fresh and well… new.
One thing I do not do, anymore is focus on dieting at the start of the new year (or anytime in the year). I know it is popular AND socially encouraged to go on a diet at the start of a new year.
Diets and dieting fail us in so many ways. The diet industry has a financial stake in us continuing to buy their products and feel bad about ourselves.
We love talking about food satisfaction and all the ways to better take care of yourself. BUT do you need more?
Emotional Eating Solutions is Kim’s signature self-paced course to look at food differently. This course is the way to get into action and make changes in your food AND in your life!
Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist. coach, speaker, and author. She helps people who feel frustrated overwhelmed and overloaded, and it shows up in overeating. She has a Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Psychology. Kim is a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and she assists people to gain peace with food.
We would love to get your feedback on this show and let us know what you would like to hear in upcoming shows. Email us at info@FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com
Thank you for listening.
Please be sure to leave a review for others to find us and share this podcast with a friend.
I love the New Year. It feels fresh and well… new.
One thing I do not do, anymore is focus on dieting at the start of the new year (or anytime in the year). I know it is popular AND socially encouraged to go on a diet at the start of a new year.
Diets and dieting fail us in so many ways. The diet industry has a financial stake in us continuing to buy their products and feel bad about ourselves.
We love talking about food satisfaction and all the ways to better take care of yourself. BUT do you need more?
Emotional Eating Solutions is Kim’s signature self-paced course to look at food differently. This course is the way to get into action and make changes in your food AND in your life!
Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist. coach, speaker, and author. She helps people who feel frustrated overwhelmed and overloaded, and it shows up in overeating. She has a Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Psychology. Kim is a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and she assists people to gain peace with food.
We would love to get your feedback on this show and let us know what you would like to hear in upcoming shows. Email us at info@FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com
Thank you for listening.
Please be sure to leave a review for others to find us and share this podcast with a friend.
We would love it if you would leave us a 5 star review on your favorite platform.
Thanks for listening to the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast.
Kim McLaughlin:
Welcome to the feed your soul with Kim Podcast. I'm Kim McLaughlin. And today we are talking about ending dieting as a New Year's resolution. Really dieting comes up so much this time of year. And I want to have a deep dive into why we've bought into this idea of dieting and thinking that it's a good idea during the New Year, we're going to talk about how you've really been sold to buy the multibillion dollar diet industry. And we're going to get a different plan together about how you can start this new year in a different way without having to die it let's get started. This is the beat your soul with Kim podcast and I am Kim McLaughlin your host. I am a psychotherapist, blogger, Best Selling Author, podcaster mom and recovering Dieter, as I'm recording this, we are at the beginning of the years. And there's still a lot of information out there and conversations about New Year's resolutions and dieting. And today, I actually wanted to talk about my ideas. I think dieting is a horrible New Year's resolution. And I know that flies kind of in the face of all of the things that you hear this time of year, but just hear me out, we got a half hour, let's just kind of give it a chance for you to hear another way of looking at dieting. We've been talking over these past episodes, we're on episode 35 right now. So 34 and 33. We talked about ending the year in a different way, and how to end that decade in a different way as well as how to move into a new year without having any resolutions. What I wanted to focus on today is just the whole idea of having dieting as a New Year's resolution, because that's what we tend to do is have dieting as a New Year's resolution. So we've talked about resolutions in other podcasts. We've also talked about dieting in other podcasts. But since it's the beginning of the year, I wanted to talk about that combination, really this time of year, there actually is really a call for us to diet. And we're drawn into dieting, and I think of it like a big phenomenon. So I looked up on the internet, how many people are looking for new year's resolutions, and I found that 1.8 billion people were looking for new year's resolutions. And Hint, hint, there was the top two were ones we're going to talk about today is the top two resolutions were exercising more and losing weight. And I'm going to I'm going to put those two together with exercising and losing weight because I think that we have overly connected dieting with exercise. And I plan on future podcast to talk about how to really release the idea of dieting and exercise together. But those were the top two resolutions that people are looking at. And if you notice what people are talking about on the internet on Facebook, on Instagram is dieting and exercise and what they're going to do differently this year. As I've talked before, the I noticed in the gym in January, oh my gosh, it's like it's wall to wall people. It's packed. And it's packed until the mid end of February, definitely March and it really clears out and it used to be a long time ago where I wouldn't go to the gym at much the beginning of the year because I knew there just be so many people or I changed my schedule. So that I wasn't there at the time that all the people were coming because of their New Year's resolutions. They really took up all the space and and I knew that they wouldn't be there very long. So it felt frustrating to me that they were there but that I knew that they weren't going to last and that partly made me feel sad, because I knew they weren't going to stick around and work and get all the benefits of of really embracing that movement when we know that lots of people are in that whole diet exercise resolution. We also know that I've found according to US News and World Report, the failure rate for news resolutions is said to be about 80% and that people tend to lose their resolve by mid February, which is exactly what I found when When I looked at the people that would come to the gym, that they would be there in the beginning of the year in January, and then come mid February, definitely in March, they were done, and they were gone. And it was just sad to see that happen. And so the statistics bear out what I thought, and what I saw it to be true. When we talk about what the Top New Year's resolutions are, exercise and lose more weight were the top two resolutions. Hmm, I wonder what the top failed New Year's resolutions are. And they fit right in the top two failed resolutions are lose weight and getting fit are the number one top commonly broken resolutions. So as much as we want these resolutions to work, they don't. And I think first we should go into why don't they work. I've talked about this a little bit before in the other podcast, but I think it deserves another mention here is why don't resolutions work. Were the first because they're based on what you think you should do, not what you want to do. And there's really this poll, the beginning of the year that we should have a resolution. And often it's that we should have a resolution about our weight, because we're uncomfortable about our weight. And so that's the first problem with resolutions is they're based on what you think you should do, not what you really want to do. Another reason why they don't work is they make you want what you don't have, and it focuses on the negative, they focus on the things that that aren't in front of you. And when we focus on what we don't have and what we lack, then that's what shows up is things that we don't have and the things that we lack. So we've got to have a different idea going into making any kind of changes. Another problem is New Year's resolutions are poorly worded and unattainable. They're often goals that are the poorly worded, I want to lose weight. Well, I don't even know what that means. Or I want to lose 10 pounds in five, five days, I actually saw somebody post on Facebook said, how many people? How many people want to lose 10 pounds? And she was saying how many people want to lose 10 pounds in one month? And then saying how many months? Would it take you to reach your goal? And I thought, oh my gosh, that's an incredible statement that lose 10 pounds in a month, and then how many months so like, so if I wanted to lose 50 pounds, five months, it would take to lose 50 pounds. I thought that is so unrealistic. So off the mark, and so wrong in so many ways. But I tell you people were buying in and they're saying, This is how many I want to lose, I want to lose. And so then she say well, I'll message you about what you can do. I'll message you about what you can do. So there's a lot of this marketing that goes on, that really gets people jazzed and excited for something that's really unattainable. And lastly, resolutions look for an easy answer. It looks for just kind of what's the simple thing or what's the kind of easy I'm going to put easy in quotes, easy answer to get changes. And I gotta say, there's no easy way to make changes. And going on a diet is not the easy way, it's not the way to do what you want to do, which is have peace with your body. When we look at New Year's resolutions, I want you to consider that there is this cultural norm, this really kind of shared idea, at least in the United States, I'm not sure about other countries, I would suspect it's often very similar in many countries that are similar to the US is that it's normal to want to die it in the new year to say, January 1, I start my diet. And what happens is is at the beginning of the year, there's all this promise of something new it's the new year, it's a new New Year New you all this idea that you're going to be different, because it's the start of the year and we buy into it hook line and sinker because we think it's what we should have. And it's what everybody else talks about. So there's that cultural norm, that societal idea that we really fall into. We're convinced that we have to want to lose weight, the beginning of the new year. And it's almost like a groupthink kind of idea to where everybody thinks the same way. And it's encouraged by everyone else, right. So it's the things that we encourage each other to do. I also was thinking this year is I think one of the reasons why we binge so much over the holidays. Remember, we've been talking over the last few months, October November, December about that holiday Trifecta where there's so much food around and there's so much being Jean going on in uncomfortable feelings and just lack of satiation with food and with life. And it's interesting to me that we have that happening during that holiday dive Trifecta time. And then come the beginning of the year, we're supposed to stop all of that. And we're supposed to diet and we're supposed to, quote, get back on track or be good or lose the weight that we gained. And it becomes this feast or famine, idea, right? Feast over the holidays feast over that holiday Trifecta time and then famine diet in the new year. And that's actually what we look at. Remember when we've talked about the idea of dieting is that we have, we begin with the dieting restricted idea, we go around. And then what always happens when we diet and restrict is ultimately we binge, we go around again, and come up. If you go around in a circle, then the next part of the circle is we feel shame and guilt because we benched. And then we want to dye it again, because the only option we can find to move out of bingeing and feeling uncomfortable in our body. We also think at this time of year that we're supposed to be in the pursuit, we're supposed to be moving towards this idea of I want a smaller body. So when we're considering this idea that we're being told that we should be looking at having a smaller body a smaller size, what I want you to do is encourage you to look beyond what you're told, Look beyond what other people say you're supposed to want, and really consider what's worked and what hasn't, and what really is valuable to you, beyond what other people tell you that you should want. Also included within this is remembering the diet. Industry is a failed industry. They profit on our failure, not just your failure, my failure, all of our failure they profit on this is an industry that needs you to fail, in order to make money. When I look up the statistics, it is a$72 billion industry $72 billion dollars. And it's only going up year after year after year, because we bought into this idea that we need to have a diet Hi everyone, this is Kim and my book is out feed your soul nourish your life. A six step system to peace with food is live, I recommend you get it, it has all my six components of feeding your soul as well as my own story, pick it up now you can find it on my website at feed your soul unlimited.com Thanks. Right now in the media is there's a celebrity who is being shamed for her size and her weight. And she talks about feeling her name is Lizzo. She is a singer and has been very popular lately. And she's been shamed a lot about her size, and saying that she's unhealthy and that she shouldn't be okay with her body. And what I want to put out there is who knows, nobody knows what her health is based on her size. Nobody knows what it is. And they're making assumptions and shaming her and shaming anybody who looks like her. They're saying that she's unhealthy that anybody that size is unhealthy, just because of their body size. And that just isn't true. So with all these ideas that come out of the media and our societal norms, our cultural norms, is we think that if we lose weight, everything will be fine, we're going to be okay. And that will be quote unquote, healthy. We're also in this interesting time of, of our culture in our life, in that there's this statement being said now is that we're going to live a healthy lifestyle, around food and exercise. And I just really want to encourage you to wander and look at when people say their food plan or their exercise is a quote unquote healthy lifestyle. It could be code for dieting, and truthfully it generally is code for dieting and wonder what kind of restriction are they asking for you? And is this a plan that's going to lead you to binge ultimately, we know I've heard statistics that 80 to 95% of diets fail in the first two to five years with the person what happens is as in so 80 to 90% of diets fail and then two to five years post ending the diet, they gain back the weight The person gains back the weight and then some. And we're told them that if we do gain the weight back, which I have fallen in that trap to just like many of you probably have to, is that we then think we're a bad diet, or we're a bad person that we've done it wrong, and that it's our fault. But really, the dieting is what's bad for you, the dieting is what makes you gain weight. And dieting is associated with suffering and deprivation and these really horrible, shameful feelings within ourselves. So this is all the things that are wrong. And I don't want to kind of belabor the point. But what I encourage you to do is think about what you can do instead of just falling into this trap of what we've always known to be true, and consider how you're being sold to, and how it has affected your decisions. Because you're we're being sold to all the time. And are you being sold to by the diet industry? Are you being sold to by the food industry, by the clothing industry, by the health industry? And notice, if you're wanting to do a certain program, or a way, a style of eating or exercise or whatever it might be that consider if you're being sold to in the process? And how does that feel for you, if you're being sold to buy these industries? What does that maybe mean for you, I think when you you can know when you're being sold to when you know it's a diet based on how you ultimately feel. So here are some things, if you are some of the ways you might know if you're being sold to and if this product program isn't working is because you feel upset about your weight and you're blaming yourself if you're feeling unworthy, and unlovable because of, of how you look and your size. If you feel sad about yourself and think that maybe you're a horrible person, or you're not gonna be loved because of your size and your weight. Or you might feel isolated and that nobody else understands you and everybody else is okay. But you're the only one that has the problem. When those feelings come up, those can be the feelings that are the the result of that diet industry, that industry that's trying to sell to you and just start noticing. How does that for you? And is this something you want to keep moving forward? What I want to wonder with you is to stop having that New Year's resolution and not having that diet, weight loss, New Year's resolution, and just start being okay with yourself and being okay with who you are right here right now, in this wonderful body that you already have. Food is important to us, you guys food is important. Food is fuel. It's how it gives us the energy to do the things we want to do. Food is comfort, it feels good, it tastes good, it makes us feel good. It's associated with lots of memories that feel good to us. And that's an important part of what goes on with food. Food is also a form of celebration, and how we kind of acknowledge certain events and certain times of year. And it's important part of of food, and we can't discount that food is part of all those areas of fuel comfort celebration, because we have to eat. It's a physical requirement that we have to eat or we're just not going to be around. That's just not the healthy thing to do. I think you can hear how passionate I feel about this. And instead of dieting this started this year, and instead of having that New Year's resolution, I know you're wondering, What should I do? What could I do instead. And there is a plan, there's a different way to do it because it feels good to know what direction you're going in. And to get off that kind of hamster wheel, that kind of circular motion of going round and around doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. But we got to have a little bit of something to do a little bit of your direction. It might not feel totally comfortable because you're really going against the grain and what other people think. And it might be something that you might keep to yourself or you might share with people who are of the same mindset are willing to look at the same mindset as you you can share this podcast with other people that you think would be encouraging and might also have similar ideas to you and start talking about it together, you could join my Facebook group, the feed your soul community where we talk about releasing the diet mindset, moving into feeling empowered around our body and empowered and loving about ourselves without having to diet and over exercise. So here's some ideas for a different plan. First, listen to your body's needs. What is it your body wants? This is a lot of what we talk about in intuitive eating, which is what I talk a lot about in terms of how are we going to use food in a different way? Or, or, or look at food in a different way, and listen to what your body's needing from you. What is it asking for? Is it maybe asking for sleep? Is it time to sleep? Or is it time to take a walk, get some movement in? Is it time to have conversations and get some kind of camaraderie going on. But really listening to what your body needs, in order to then get and then give it what it needs, what it's telling you what that intuitive knowing is about your body's needs is really important, and then follow through and do that. Next part of the plan is listen to your body's physical hunger. I have talked before about the different kinds of hungers. And today really, it's more about the physical hunger, and what is that physical hunger, saying to you? What does it feel like to be hungry? I know a lot of people that I work with talk about not having that physical sensation of hunger, they don't know what it feels like to be hungry. And maybe that's something that's happening for you is, what is that physical sense of hunger. For me, the physical sense of hunger is my stomach starts to grumble, I start to feel lethargic, I might start getting a little bit of a headache, my hands might start to shake, and I start to talk, I start to think more about food and, and kind of maybe more obsessive about it, because my body is physically hungry. And that is a sure sign that I am into hunger. And when we talk about hunger, I like to look at it on a one to 10 scale, one being overly hungry. 10 being overly full, and five is in the middle where we feel satiated. So as I'm feeling moving down the scale of four or a three, those are absolutely my time that I need to start eating because my tummy is hungry, my body is hungry. And when I have physical hunger I have to eat. What I don't like about diets is that they'll tell you what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, stop eating, drink water instead of eating. And when you're physically hungry, you're physically hungry, eat some food, check in with your body, see what your body's asking for and feed it some food. Another part of a different plan is to listen to the other hungers that are going on social hunger, emotional hunger, mental hunger, spiritual hunger. By that I mean, what is it that you're craving and and kind of hungry for in that more meta hunger way of? Are you craving being with other people? Or is it that a lot of emotions are coming up and maybe you need to journal or you're having a lot of thoughts going on and maybe need to go talk to somebody about all the thoughts that your experience that you're experiencing, or maybe some type of spiritual hunger to go to church or practice some meditation. There are these other hungers that are not physical hungers, but really hunger for a deeper experience and to live your life in a full in a full manner. Another part of a plan is to allow yourself to experience pleasure, what happens when we think that we're overweight, when we think that we're too big when we think that we're fat or obese or not. Not valuable because of our size. We tend to not allow ourselves pleasure because we don't think we deserve it. I want to encourage you 100% to allow yourself to experience pleasure, experience pleasure in the world and begin to see how enlivened and how wonderful it feels to experience that pleasure. Because you get to experience pleasure no matter what size your body is. Last another way to have a different plan is to know your worth to know your worth. worthy that You are worthy of good food, of moving in a way that fits for you, of wearing clothes that feel wonderful on your body, having friends that celebrate you and to say no, when people are dieting, talking about dieting, when they're talking about over exercising, and you get to say no to that I'm not in the diet culture, I don't want to be a part of a diet, I don't want to be part of restricting I eat what foods I like and really know that you're worthy of being in this really supportive way in the world that doesn't, doesn't demand that you hate your body that you need to diet and that you need to look a different way. All these things are extremely doable. And it takes time, it's not going to be a quick fix, to have all of these things, these these feelings, these ways of being are often really, really ingrained in us. And it takes time. It takes time to make these changes that I've just been talking about. But the different plan is so worth it to feel enlivened to feel a part of this world in a different way. And feel really good in your body and good with with food and good with your life. That is the end result. It's I wrote down in my little notes, I said it, it will feel uncomfortable at the start, but there is light, there's light at the end, because you're gonna start feeling good slowly but surely. I like to always talk about having duals and I think I just gave you a whole bunch of them in that different plan. The any of the areas in that plan I just talked about, about listening to your body's needs, listening to your body's hunger, listening to the other hungers, social, emotional, mental, spiritual, allowing yourself to experience pleasure, and knowing you're worthy. Doing any of these this next week will be super positive, moving you forward out of that diet mentality and into a life that feels wonderful. I encourage you to keep listening to this podcast we're going to talk about this more and more. We're going to talk about how to engage in life in a totally positive direction and help you feel great about who you are and where you're going. This is Kim McLaughlin, this is a feed your soul with Kim podcast. I look forward to talking to you next week about some new and exciting information. Bye everyone. Thank you for joining us on the feed your soul with Kim podcast. We come to you every Monday with fresh new ideas to help you and emotional eating and put food in its proper places nourishment. Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and review it and let us know what you think. Thank you for joining us