Re-Release 01 (Ep. 32) Holiday Hungers: What are you REALLY hungry for?

We are taking a break over the holiday, but the podcast goodness is still coming. We are relooking at one of our most popular podcast episodes: Holiday Hungers: What are you really hungry for?

If you have not listened to this podcast yet, you are in for a treat. In this episode, we look at the holiday hungers (yes, there is more than one of them).  Learning and understanding what the holiday hungers are will help you feel empowered over this AND every other holiday season. 

Join us in this Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast where we discuss:

• What are the 4 Holiday Hungers?
• Learn about 7 emotional triggers and what you can do about them.  
• Get into action with 5 different ideas to end Holiday Hungers. 

Discover a new way of increasing your satisfaction over the holidays by joining the Feed Your Soul Community: 

Join us on Facebook in our Feed Your Soul Community. Join for free here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1172488142887200/

Feed Your Soul; Nourish Your Life! The Six Step System to Peace with Food is available. Get it now: https://feedyoursoulunlimited.com/fysnylbook/

Want more information? You can find out more about Kim McLaughlin at www.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

Kim McLaughlin, MA

Kim McLaughlin is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, inspirational coach, speaker, and writer. She helps people who feel frustrated overwhelmed and overloaded, and it shows up in overeating. She has a Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Psychology. Kim is a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and she assists people to gain peace with food. 

We would love to get your feedback on this show and let us know what you would like to hear in upcoming shows. Email us at info@FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

Thank you for listening.

Please be sure to leave a review for others to find us and share this podcast with a friend.

https://feedyoursoulunlimited.com/feed-your-soul-with-kim-podcast/

Join us for more conversation at:

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/feedyoursoulunlimited/
@feedyoursoulunlimited

Website:
http://feedyoursoulunlimited.com/

We would love it if you would leave us a 5 star review on your favorite platform.

Thanks for listening to the Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

Kim McLaughlin: 0:00

Welcome to Episode 32 of the feed your soul with Kim Podcast. Today we talk about holiday hungers. What are you really hungry for, we're going to look at the four holiday hungers. We're going to learn about seven emotional triggers and what you can do about them and get into action with five different ideas to end holiday hunger. Let's get started. This is the feed your soul with Kim podcast and I am Kim McLaughlin your host, I'm a licensed psychotherapist, inspirational coach, speaker and best selling author, I help people feed their soul by putting food in its proper places nourishment, and helping them develop more functional ways to nurture themselves. This can't be more true than what's going on right now we are deep in the holiday season. And there is a lot going on around food and people and events. And I have a lot to talk about. I find over this holiday season or actually any of these holiday seasons, that we're often feeding things other than ourselves, we're often not nourishing ourselves in the way we want to. And when I talk about the idea of feeding your soul, which is my tagline all over the place, it's really about coming into that inner knowing of how we need to really feed ourselves in a way that's much more productive than how we've been doing it up until this point in time. So this is going to be some of the ideas we're going to talk about today. Because we can find that it's hard to manage hunger, hard to manage food over the holidays, I think it's especially harder over the holidays, than it is at any other point in time. And people will constantly tell me and actually this has been feelings for me too is that we'll feel scared, confused and upset about food this time of year or more upset about our bodies and our weight, our also how we eat food and the types of food we eat and how much we eat. And as I've been saying, over and over again, this is really the holiday trifecta. It's three months of food in your face, from the month of October all the way to January the first. And what I realized this season more than any others that partly what gets us going is the idea that these foods are different foods than what we allow ourselves or even in season the rest of the year. And they make them even more special. There's a lot that happens over this holiday season in terms of expectations of ourselves expectations that others have that I think make it really tough for us to then enter into situations with food. That is food that might be triggers for us or food. Actually not the foods are the triggers the situation is the trigger, and that we have these difficult feelings or difficult things happen over the holidays. And that difficulty that we're feeling shows up in food, we kind of can be concerned or wonder like, why am I upset? Why am I overwhelmed. This is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, I'm supposed to be happy. And that's often far away from where people really feel. And I'm not talking about feeling really down and blue. I talked about holiday blues in the last podcast. And that was really about a lot of depression and sadness and loneliness. But I'm talking about just a general feeling that the holiday doesn't always match how we feel it should match with us or how it should be. There's also this predisposition, this kind of expectation that we're going to over eat this type of you this time of year. And that leads into a tendency to actually emotionally overeat when we're feeling more emotions coming up, which happens during all of this holiday trifecta, and there's more food, it really becomes our go to with what we're going to do to take care of ourselves. There are the foods that show up that we don't normally have. I find it's really interesting that there's this marketing around these special foods this time of year and there are a bunch of items that show up that are out advertised, and we all want them because they're so special this time of year. And we tend to want it when comes out, I'm thinking like pumpkin spice latte is one of the things I think of that is really marketed to this one time of year. And if you don't get it during that time, you can't get it again for another year. And that can feel like we want to go in and binge and overdo it, because we'll end up having to restrict the rest of the year because it's just not available. It's been an interesting idea that I've thought of that. It's really in the marketing that creates this kind of desire for it, because we can't get it at any other time of the year. And that I think goes also with all Oh, a lot of other foods, I think of like, Turkey at Thanksgiving, I don't think I have turkey any other time of the year then. And it made me wonder this year that if it's such a food that I really like and want, why don't I have other times of the year and it really made me think of the idea that maybe I am not allowing myself to have it. And maybe I'll want to have it because it's not a food that I want to feel restricted from or that I can't have. So it's just been something I've been thinking about. And I'm sure I'll talk about that more. In upcoming podcasts. I remember when I was working in agency work that there would end up being a lot of food around the October, November December timeframe. And right now, this winter holiday Christmas time of year, oh my gosh, there'd be so much food, there would be vendors that would bring in stuff to thank us for the year, our clients would give us stuff and different kinds of food items. And people would make things to bring in that were foods that we didn't have, but that one time of year. And I remember how tough it was, for me to have it around, because I would think about it a lot and really kind of obsess about the food being in the other room. And at that point in time in my life, I didn't know how to manage that feeling of wanting to have it. And the thoughts that just wouldn't go away that made me think I should have it. And it would often end up leading me to overeat because the food was there. I remember walking past it and thinking about when I could have it next. And knowing that it was there really made it hard for me. It's not like at home where the food's not on the calendar, it's in the refrigerator, or it's in the cupboards. It's not readily available like it was when I was doing office work. And I found that really hard. I'm not sure how that is for all of you. But I know a lot of my clients talk about how hard it is when there's that food sitting around. And we tend to then have those obsessive thoughts about wanting to have it. I'm grateful right now. Because I don't have that in my office where I work. We don't we don't put food out like that. So there's nothing out and about to eat. And I think of how hard it is for other people when they're working in offices and having that food all around. So something to consider whether that's important for you to have food sitting around like that, or maybe as a group, you decide to put it away. But today we'll actually talk about the different kinds of hungers. And there is a hunger that goes into that idea of having food out and about and the thoughts that go with it. During this holiday time. What can happen is is we can end up kind of restricting ourselves that there's this food that only comes out but once a year at whatever, you know, October November timeframe, October is generally the Halloween candy. Thanksgiving time is generally like the turkey in the pie and whatever potatoes mashed potato kind of thing. And then Christmas time is often the candy, lots of sweets and lots of foods that we don't normally have. And I want you to wonder if you're doing any kind of restricting around the food that's out and about. Remember, we talked before about the dieting mindset, which is that dieting cycle where if you're looking at a circle, the top of that circle is dieting and restricting. And if you move down that circle, we will tend to then have a binge and overeat when we are restricting at some point in time there's going to be a binge going around that circle and then we coming up that circle then that feeling of of guilt and resentment that we've eaten. And then in time we end up restricting again and going on that diet. This also happens around holiday food. And I know that a lot of people will overeat or talk about eating. I see a lot or hear a lot of people talking about overeating during this timeframe during the October November timeframe, because then they say, well, it's but once a year, I have these foods, I'm going to have them I'm going to go all in and then come January one, I'm going to diet I'm going to restrict, and that's ends up being that cycle that we get in. And I want to wonder with you that do we want to hop off of that diet, cycling and look at a different way, a more functional way, a more empowered way to be over this holiday time. In regards to food, and in regards to how we look at food over this time period, I thought it'd be good to look back on what we talked about before in terms of the four hungers. And actually I call them in this one the holiday hungers, because they really show up this time of year. The four hungers are head, hunger, mouth, hunger, heart hunger, and stomach hunger. Stomach hunger is that hunger, that's that physical hunger that we want to be in touch with when we're eating. And it should be if we're really focused in on our body and in on intuitive eating, that's more of how we can go to the table in terms of eating, we can look at each of these four hungers, and they can tell us, then what we need to do, if it's physical hunger, eat, very simple. But when its head hunger, that's where it can get to be kind of complicated that head hunger was what was coming up for me when I talked about working in agency work where the food was out and about in the break room, and I kept thinking about having it. Actually, I couldn't not think about it, it was really tough, I really had a hard time with that. And possibly some of that comes up for some of you, I had to find ways to rethink about food and rethink about how I manage or feel empowered around food. And that helped a lot with that head hunger. Another type of hunger is heart hunger. And that really is what I would call emotional hunger. And what we can do with that emotional hunger is look at what those emotional triggers are. And what are the emotions that are showing up that are leading us to want to eat and overeat, I want you to consider that if it's heart hunger, what is that hunger telling you, maybe there's a need in in terms of taking care of the emotions, when that heart hunger shows up, that you're, you're needing to take care of your feelings rather than eating. If we eat when we have any other hunger rather than physical hunger. We're not going to satisfy the real need of that hunger. So for heart hunger, the need really is to look at our emotions and what's going on emotionally inside of us. The The other type of hunger is mouth hunger, and that's when food items just sound good. It's that sense that you have a need to eat because it tastes good, that kind of salivating and yearning for a certain certain food item. I think of that a lot that mouth hunger for me shows up when I'm in the mall and they'll have whatever baking within the mall and they'll really kind of walk that that fragrance through the mall so that you then have this instant thought of Oh, yum, I'm thinking of having this certain food and and your mouth starts to salivate because that marketing that brilliant marketing of having the the the smell come through the mall makes you then want that food. But it's not really any kind of physical hunger. It's really mouth hunger that is leading you to want to eat. It can be really confusing when you're at an event and you're not feeling physical hunger and you want the item because it's something like I said that you haven't had very often and you're at an event, there's a special food, you're not feeling overly hungry, and you want it anyway. And that's the time where I say if it's an event you're at, and it's something you really want and you're not overly hungry. Eat it. It's fine. It's okay to eat this When you're not totally hungry, people do that all of the time. It's just how much you eat. And how often you do that might be the more the question for yourself. Because if you're ending up feeling where your tummy feels upset, or you feel emotionally upset at yourself that you're eating the food, then I wonder whether it was really food that you wanted to eat because it was special food, or if it was some other kind of hunger showing up. Hi, everyone, this is Kim and my book is out feed your soul nourish your life, a six step system to peace with food is live, I recommend you get it, it has all my six components of feeding your soul, as well as my own story, pick it up now you can find it on my website at feed your soul unlimited.com Thanks. What we don't want to do is we don't want to restrict or feel like we can't have foods, because when we restrict, then we're going to ultimately binge. And then we're ultimately going to feel guilty about that. So if it's a special food habit, enjoy it and and then be done with it and move on with with what you're doing. There can really be this sense and feeling of powerlessness around food this time of year. And you might say let's just do it. Like I said before, you might say I'm just going to go all in on I'm just going to overeat because all then died at the New Year. But this isn't a way to feel really empowered in your life and an empowered around food. And that's really what I'm hoping for you is more of this sense of empowerment. That feeling of empowerment is one of the ways that we can heal those types of hunger, especially that heart hunger, those emotions that are showing up this time of year because this is a really loaded time of year for lots of emotions to show up. And it can be helpful to at least start recognizing what those emotional triggers are, that are that are bringing on those emotions for you. Some of the triggers might be family or people coming into town, really, that wrecks your routine. And having people possibly in your house or over more often can really be difficult. Another emotional trigger can be going to visit people, you then are out of your house, you're out of your routine, you're out of your kind of normal food that you're eating. And that can be really tough. And that can be a trigger. Another emotional trigger, which I think we often don't consider this time of year is when we're around people that we feel uncomfortable with, or even people that we don't like there's a lot of times in families and and even friendship groups that there's people that we don't like that don't resonate with us and actually might be mean or we have a bad history with them. And that can really be an emotional trigger. When you feel like you have to be around somebody that you don't feel comfortable with. Another emotional trigger is feeling that we have to give up our needs in order to meet other people's needs. A lot of what happens now is that feeling of codependency that I've got to give up my needs in order to support you. And we're going to talk about that a little bit further in plans of action. So So I think we're going to address this a bit later. Another emotional trigger can be people or situations that bring up feelings of regret or sadness from the past. Some things that just weren't done and it can bring up old memories this time of year I think more than a lot of other times of year is the holiday season brings up old feelings and just notice that that's going on and start naming that as for what it is. Another emotional trigger can be not seeing the people that you want to see feeling that your family isn't around or they're across country or they're unavailable or possibly they've passed away and you feel sad that they're gone. That that can be a huge emotional trigger and start noticing that that's going on for you that feeling of missing people and wanting the holidays to be different than they are right now. Lastly, an emotional trigger that I thought we needed to at least put on the table is overspending. overspending is is really tough and you can end up really putting yourself in a lot of debt. And I wonder for you if you're looking at overspending what's the emotion going on that leads you to want to overspend? Are you feeling guilty because you haven't done enough for somebody or Thinking you have to give people a thing. And and just consider what that overspending might mean for you. When we have a history of using food to satisfy our feelings, it becomes our go to in these uncomfortable situations. So what are the things you can do I say this pretty much I think each podcast, but it super important. start recognizing and noticing those feelings. And I like to ask myself, when these situations come on, where I'm thinking of overeating, or I've started to overeat. I start talking to myself and asking myself these, these questions are literally what I do. I asked myself, what's going on? What's making me feel uncomfortable? And what would I like to do about it? Those are really great questions that lead me to go inside of myself and move beyond those emotional triggers. And to be more empowered or feel more empowered in situations, I find for myself when I feel the worst is when I don't have a plan for when I might feel powerless in these holiday situations. And it might be I feel powerless in terms of food in terms of other people or in terms of situations. And when I don't know what to do when I haven't thought through in advance, I feel really powerless. What works best for me is to have plans have a plan of action. And here are some things for here's some feelings that come up, and then what you can do around them. One feeling that comes up a lot is loneliness, just feeling lonely, and feeling lonely at home, or also feeling lonely. When you're in situations, just feeling like you're not having that emotional connection. Start noticing and recognizing it when you're feeling that sense of loneliness. Another feeling that shows up is feeling uncomfortable. And it's another feeling that surfaces a lot. And for me, it's often a feeling of just something seems off and and then I can recognize it's just an I'm Feeling uncomfortable. And then when I check in with those three questions, I can then figure out what I need to do about it. Lastly, what happens is feelings of sadness. And we talked last podcasts in the holiday blues, a lot about sadness. So I'm not really going to go into that much this time. But I want you to remember that this season brings up memories and thoughts of what what's happened in the past or what we don't have. And that can bring a lot of sadness. So how do we get into action. And you guys know, I love having actionable. And I think you could do any one of these this next week and feel really good about yourself, what I one of the actions I love to get into is to do activities that don't involve food and don't involve money. And one of those things I love to do is to go drive around and see the holiday lights. I love the creativity that people have in the way that they really embrace the lights. And I find it so fulfilling, to have music going and to to just go around and see the creativity. So that's one of the things I love to do to get into action, to help me with these emotional triggers is to go and do something that doesn't involve food and doesn't involve money. Another action that I like to do is being physically active. If you don't generally go to the gym, this might be the time to do it. I find that you know, the first of the year, January is where people can start going back to the gym, it's really very crowded that time of year, I find that this is the best time for me to keep in my schedule, my routine of going to the gym, and I already go to the gym regularly, I have regular activities. And what I find is that I can tend to give up the gym or give up being physically active because my schedule gets too busy. I have found that it's a must do. It's something that I have to do, especially this time of year. And it keeps me feeling good in my body. And it helps me to feel empowered within myself. I'm not talking about movement that is anything to work off the calories or bad food. It's really just about how I keep my body in motion. Another thing I like to do to get into action is to calendar my needs, including my downtime, and I am really into more downtime this this year more than others. I've really looked at the schedule and calendar in time for myself in a way that really works for me. I also calendar, what my family wants to do over the holidays and this is where there's negotiation for me in terms of what do I want to do and what do they want to do and at what point do I feel like I'm giving up my needs for everybody else and I want to make sure that My needs are fit tightly in that schedule. And like I said, this year is going to be more reflection and more quiet time for me. And I've put that in the in the schedule and really made it a priority for myself. Another actionable would be keep to your routine, especially go to bed on time, eat the food that you regularly eat and keep to a regular schedule, we can tend to be kind of dysregulated over this time of year because there's so much going on. But as often as possible, keep to your schedule. And that will end up helping your body feel good, because you're following what it's used to. You're following it, the regular expectations, that that you're kind of your psyche, and your emotions and your body know, keep you balanced. Lastly, in order to get into action is to stick to a budget and set realistic goals about what you can and can't afford. Spend the amount of money you planned and really challenge yourself if you're thinking of going over it. I wrote down this quote for myself, and I love this one. My presence is my present. And I've been thinking about that a lot is How can I be have my presence be more available, and that the focus is less on gifts and more of the gift of myself. So those are some actionable tools I really encourage you to do this next week is to plan an action or an activity that doesn't involve food or money. Get physically active in a certain way that fits for you calendar, what you need, keep to your routine, and stick to your budget. Those are some really great tips that will really help keep your emotional triggers balanced and keep you in an empowered state. I am so happy that you're here. I have been talking a lot over these last few podcasts about the holidays, because I think it's so important and I want to be that support for you. I hope you join our free Facebook community feed your soul community to get more encouragement and positive, positive regard because that's really what we need this time of year. This is Kim McLaughlin. This is feed your soul with Kim podcast. Thank you so much for joining us. And I look forward to talking with you next week. Bye everyone. Thank you for joining us on the feed your soul with Kim podcast. We come to you every Monday with fresh new ideas to help you and emotional eating and put food in its proper places nourishment. Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and review it and let us know what you think. Thank you for joining us