77: Solutions to End Emotional Eating

 I have had many occasions to get asked MANY questions and they are often similar question. On today’s podcast here are some recent questions that I was asked. 

These questions really get to the heart of emotional eating solutions because they are not about what type of how much food to eat. To balance out your emotional eating you need to balance the 6 component areas: Physical, Emotional, Mental, Lifestyle, Mindfulness, and Self-Love. Until these areas are balance you will not experience the peace with food that you seek. 

If you do not know the answers to help with emotional eating, then you need to listen to today’s Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast.   

Join us in this Feed Your Soul with Kim Podcast where we discuss: 

·      4 questions that I often get asked, that are not about food. 

·      Specific techniques to increase your solution to emotional eating.  

·      Practical doables to get you to that solution. 

Emotional Eating Solutions

 
We love talking about food satisfaction and all the ways to better take care of yourself. BUT do you need more?

Emotional Eating Solutions is Kim’s signature self-paced course to look at food differently. This course is the way to get into action and make changes in your food AND in your life!

Find out more about Emotional Eating Solutions here:  https://feedyoursoulunlimited.com/emotional-eating-solutions-self-study/

Join us in Community at the Feed Your Soul Community Free Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1172488142887200

Want more information? You can find out more about Kim McLaughlin at www.FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

Get your Free Quiz…

Are you an Emotional Eater? 

Kim McLaughlin, MA

Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist. coach, speaker, and author. She helps people who feel frustrated overwhelmed and overloaded, and it shows up in overeating. She has a Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Psychology. Kim is a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and she assists people to gain peace with food.

We would love to get your feedback on this show and let us know what you would like to hear in upcoming shows. Email us at info@FeedYourSoulUnlimited.com

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Transcript

Kim McLaughlin: 0:00

Welcome to the feed your soul with Kim podcast. I am Kim McLaughlin, your host. And today we are talking about solutions to end emotional eating. I've had many people ask me on many different occasions, different questions about ending emotional eating. And today, we have four questions that I've been asked most recently, we're going to talk about the questions and you're going to find them interesting, because they're really not about food. They're about all of the other areas that go along, go on around food and create emotional eating issues. We're going to talk about specific techniques to increase your solutions to end emotionally. And as always, though, we'll be practical doable to get you to that solution, let's get started. This is our question and answer call. I have the questions in front of me I have answers. And I just think this is some great stuff going on and some great questions that we're going to go over today to really help you with your emotional eating solution. I'm from feature salon limited.com. And let's get started. So question number one that I got is somebody has asked and said that they can't seem to quiet their mind, for mindfulness. That's like when your mind how I interpret that is that their mind keeps talking and talking, and that we try and stop it actively Stop it, and it doesn't work. So they just think that they can't be mindful, and they can't seem to quiet their mind. And so that has to do with the thoughts that go on in their head, that they can't seem to quiet and also how to be more mindful. The first thing I thought of when I thought of this question is meditate meditation. And what I find a lot of people tell me is that they don't know how to meditate. They think it's a big struggle or a big hassle to meditate. They can't find the time to meditate. And so they don't do it. And what I think of as meditation is that time to quiet your mind. That to me, I don't know that particular definition of meditation, but it doesn't, from where from how I do it is it doesn't have to take hours sitting in quiet with your hands in front of you and your eyes closed chanting, which I think is a lot of people's idea about what a meditation is. To me meditation is simply closing your eyes getting quiet. And focusing on that quiet. There are a lot of ways to do that. One of the ways to do that is to just close your eyes and just focus on breathing in and out. And so the way I do it doesn't go. I literally say in my head, I'll say breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. At any time, once I start doing that, my mind will then start thinking about things or worrying about stuff. And then what I'll do is just remind myself, okay, Kim, let's come back to your breath, breathe in, breathe out. And just breathing in and breathing out and noticing the breath is a really easy way to focus on meditation. It doesn't have to be any harder than that. I, I recommend also meditation apps that you can put on your phone. And I love them because they give me hundreds of ways to meditate. And I just flip through my app and see which one fits for me. One that I like a lot is a meditation where they just have a gong every so often, and I'll put it on for however many minutes I want to sit in the quiet. It's really about trying it out and seeing what works for you. There's no one way I don't do it the same all the time. I don't do it as often as I'd like to but I do it more and more often. And what I tell you is 100% of the time I feel better after I do it and my mind is quieter. So if you start doing that meditation, and it's really just about getting quiet, breathing in and out, I like to close my eyes. And to just get your mind quiet one way I wrote down an idea about how to how to manage when your thoughts are going on and on. And that can be I think of it like, if you're ever remember ticker tape, like kind of the things that scroll across when they call it for, for stocks, the the tape that rolls across, it's also when you look at here and down here on the bottom of your screen like when the TV that scroll that rolls across the TV, and it talks, talks and gives you lots of information about what's going on. So that scroll on the TV can be a way of thinking about your mind and about the thoughts. And what I like to do is when those thoughts are coming by I noticed them and go, Oh, look at all the thoughts going by. And I don't attach meaning to them. I don't attach significance, because what we will tend to do is get frustrated with it. And that's another technique is don't get frustrated with those thoughts will go Darn it. Oh my gosh, I'm having these thoughts. They're going on and on and on. Just what I like to do is go Oh, isn't that interesting? I'm having a lot of thoughts right now. Let me breathe in and out. And I noticed them and I just am gonna release those thoughts to just move on out. And I just noticed them move on out. And I then go back into breathing in and out and in and out. And then when the thoughts come back, I go, Oh, there are those thoughts. I noticed them like the scroll of the the tape on the TV. With all the information I go, Oh, there they are, again, I calm, I get calm, I don't get frustrated. Because when I get frustrated, more of them show up. I get calm, go, oh, I noticed these thoughts. Breathe in and breathe out. And I just keep doing that. It it. I like to say it's a thing that works when you work it and I do it as often as I can. I like to do it. First thing in the morning before I get up, I'll just take some deep breaths and quiet my mind. I love doing it. Actually, I'll tell you my little trick, I do it when I go to the dentist. And I'll have a good half hour in the dentist, you know when they're cleaning your teeth and I just sit there I close my eyes and I breathe in and breathe out. And I really focus on being calm. And being present with my breath. It works really well at the dentist and that's my one of my tricks is I at least know that I always practice it when I go to the dentist. So it's a good technique to use for the dentists. So for the question I can't seem to quiet my mind for mindfulness is try meditation. Deep breath, focus, if the thoughts when the thoughts show up, because they will notice them and let them just not attached to them. Let them move on by and go back into breathing. And let go of any frustration let go of any frustration. And it will work it will work. So just try to guys okay um, and I want to let you know that the emotional eating solutions eight week course is open. Now you can find it on my website at feed your soul unlimited.com. Go to the work with Kim tab and click on that. This is the time to get peace with food. And I know this course will help you. You also can find the link in the show notes to the emotional eating solutions, eight week self study course. The second question I have down here is someone wrote, I feel frustrated that I can't eat mindfully all the time. And I thought that was interesting. I'm frustrated that I can't eat mindfully all the time. My note to myself was mean either I can't I don't eat mindfully all the time. I do it more and more often, at more and more meals. I just want you to go easier on yourself and not find that this is a quick race where you have to do this immediately. And it's something that you're going to get and it's just going to be there for forever. I find that being mindfulness with my being mindful with my eating is a process. And it is a practice. It's actually what they talk about with meditation as a meditation practice. So this is really a mindful practice. And what do we know about practice is we have to practice that. Just like basketball players have to practice their free throw shot, they have to practice you know, go into free throat practice and practice. Practice being mindful with your eating is a practice. So maybe if you think about it a little differently and Give yourself an opportunity to, to practice it, that's can be a different switch in your head so that you can do it more often. The other thing I, I wrote down is think of it like a lifelong journey, that we're really running a marathon. This is not a sprint. And this is not a race that you end, when we're talking about mindful eating, intuitive eating, and letting go of overeating. It's a process for our life. It's, it's not like a diet. And and when we think of like, I've got to get there, I've got to get there. That to me is like diet mentality. And diet mentality means we start it, and then we stop it. So we start a diet, and then we stop it. Mindful eating is just what we do. It's what we do for the rest of our lives, that we focus on being more mindful during our time of eating. And it's, it's something that we don't end, we're not going to end it, we're just going to keep doing it and keep practicing it. So those are the things I thought of when I thought about being frustrated that you can't eat mindfully all the time. And I think what we have to do is let go up to all the time, we're focusing on eating more mindfully, more and more every day. And maybe that can be your little goal. Your goal is I eat mindfully, more and more every day. I eat mindfully, more and more every day, rather than I eat mindfully all the time, eat mindfully, more and more every day. I like that one. So now we're gonna go to our third question. And this is a tough one for people. I hear people ask me this question all the time. So it's more than just one person's ever asked it. And the question is, I can't accept my body because it doesn't look okay. And when I take that to mean, I've had people tell me, how can I accept my body? It doesn't look good. It's not right. It's not the way it should be. It doesn't look the way it's supposed to. And then I think of well, How's it supposed to look, and often what they mean is that it doesn't look like it, like it does in the magazine, or the models or the ones on TV. And they're what people will tell me is like, my body is not okay, and then they interpret that since it doesn't look like the way I think it's supposed to, it's not okay. And this is an opportunity to begin to think about your body differently, and have a different sense of your, your body and its purpose and, and also, to really consider I am not my body, you are not your body, that who I am, is not this body. And this is just the method I use to move through this world. And it could be my body isn't allowing me to, to do the things movement wise that I really want to let's say you want to run a marathon or you want to do a triathlon or you want to walk I had one client who talked about wanting to walk around Costco, it was their, their goal was to be able to walk around Costco and not get winded, and I thought that was a fine goal. So it's really what do I need my body to do? And how can I get there to make that happen? But saying My body's not okay, is different than saying I can't do the things physically that I want to do two different things. What I think about when we say that we can't accept our body is thinking about who we really think we are. And what I think about that is that's really more of a spiritual idea or kind of an idea about what kind of person do I think I am? And by that, I mean, who am i What's my purpose? And what am I here to do? Or what am i What What is there about me? That's important? And I think about that about kind of these I am statements about who am I? So for me, I am not my body, I am not whatever shape my body is, is not me. And for me who I am is I am kind I am compassionate. I am loving. I am caring. I'm goofy sometimes. I love to laugh. I am. I like to be artistic. Those are things about me that have nothing to do with my body. I like to be physical. I like to be not sporty but but more physical and do things act If I like to be active, let me put it that way I like to be active. Those are all things that are positive about me. And they're really who I am. And what you didn't hear me say is I am the size of my clothes, I am not the size of my thighs, or the size of my waist. Those are not who I am. And what I invite you to do to move out of this idea of not accepting your body and not saying that it's okay to move into who am I? And I like it starting with the question of I am, who am I, I am kind, right, and begin to say those things to yourself. And what we can do is then transform that thought that comes in that says, I'm not okay with my body, I might, my body is not the right size. And what I say is, well, that's not who I am, the size of my body is not who I am, I am kind, I am compassionate, I am caring, I'm joyful, I am loving. And what happens is, is when I focus on those positives about who I really am, I feel better, I feel better about myself, I feel better about my life. And what happens is, is then I eat differently. When I feel better about myself. I mean, think about this, and I say this a lot to clients that, think about when you're feeling joyful, when you feel good about yourself, you eat well, you eat things that make you feel good, you tend to not overeat, and you eat things that are pleasurable. And it's not obsessive, and we tend to not overeat. So I encourage you to focus on who you really are, and the positive things about who you are as a way to move out of thinking negatively about your body, and moving into thinking positively about yourself. And that is a way to move beyond overeating, and into a more functional and positive outlook on yourself. Consider that. The other thing that I think of when I think of not accepting your body is to begin to think about what you like about your body is to say my body's not okay, well, that's not really true. There are things that I like about my body, I like my eyes, my eyes are brown and vibrant. I like about my body that I'm strong. I like that I'm short, I can I'm not tall, so like I, it just feels better for me to be short. I am physically strong. I'm also active, and I like being active, and my body likes being active in the way my body can do it. And I do everything to the best of my ability. That's what I like about my body. The more I think about the things that I like about my body, I'm more in a joyous thought, I'm feeling better about myself, and just like we just talked about, the more I feel more positive, the less I am going to overeat, the less I'm going to obsess about food, think about that for yourself, and maybe join with me and start coming up with positives about your body. And also positive things about who you really are. Okay. The last question is, this is actually another really good question that that comes up all the time is I can't come up to I can't come up with ways to take care of myself. So that's interesting, because I consistently asked you to think of a self care technique, what can you do to take care of yourself and often I met with, I don't know, I don't know anything of how to take care of myself. One of the ways I like to introduce an idea of self care is to think of 100 things that you like to do, and then we will Oh, that's a lot. That's too many. I can't think of that. Well, the idea is, is to think of more and more things as time goes on. But you can start making a list of things that you like to do things that are self care, and they don't have to be expensive. They don't have to be anything about money, but what do you do for self care? Let me give you some ideas about mine. And I encourage you to have a list of 100 things that you'd like to do for yourself care. And it could be a challenge for you but get one on the list two on the list three on the list four on the list. And let me tell you some of mine because it might spark some ideas in you. Some of my like self care techniques are I like to journal. I would love to journal more often. I love to meditate. And it makes me feel good. Just like we talked about The first idea of meditation, I like to do that. I like to be creative. I like to make things. I like to go to the gym, and I'm at a gym that really fits for me and fits for the things I like to do. I also I really love yoga, I love to do yoga, that stretching makes me feel wonderful. Self care for me another Oh, one of my guilty pleasures is I love I love reality shows. So I might put on a reality show and watch that that's kind of one of my guilty pleasures that I just, I just like it, it just is one of my, my secret guilty pleasures. So it's one on my list. Let me see did I write down others? What? Oh, some of the other things I love to do is I love to go to the beach. So even if I don't go to the beach, physically, I'll watch a little video of of the beach splashing back and forth, or I'll look at a picture of a beach. And that just makes me feel so good. So what I'm talking about is self care are just gathering a list of things that make you feel good, I love listening to music, I love going to the library, those are all part of my self care, I love riding my bike. And I then can use the self care list to do things on a regular basis for regular self care. But also when I'm not feeling so great, I can go back to them. Oh, I love taking a nap. Naps are wonderful. I also love sleeping well at night that makes me feel really good to what I know is that as I've written my list out of what I do for myself care, I'm then more open to adding to that list. And when people tell me they don't have anything, well, I think you do something. And what I encourage you to do is to start making that list because once you make the list, more things are going to come to your mind, you're going to be in the shower and think, Oh, this is the thing I would love to do for myself care and start putting that on the list. Once it I think of it like they call like priming the pump, where you you start getting it going from our understand with a pump, you got to put a little bit of water in to get it moving. So then more water comes up. And the same thing with self care ideas is you put just put a couple out. And they can be really simple taking a bath, taking a shower, going to bed on time writing in your journal. And then what will happen is, is that you will begin to think of more ideas and more ideas. And then write those down and start adding in new ideas of things that you've never done one on my list that I want to do this summer that I'm trying to figure out where to go is I want to try Pilates. I've seen other people do it, I want to try it. So that is on my list this summer to do is to try Pilates. It just came to me that it was something that I wanted to try and it is on my list of 100 is to is to do that. So what happened was is that i prime the pump and I put all the things down that I already do, then I started to get new ideas of new things. And what happened is now that I've put it on my list, I've now been actively thinking about it and looking at places where I could go to actually do it. So it then gave me the idea of how can I now get it done, because I've written it down as one of my self care techniques that I want to try. Those are a lot of things, looking back at my list to make sure I've covered everything. So we've gone over how to quiet your mind to be more mindful how to let go of having the need to have to eat mindfully all the time. We've also talked about how to accept your body more. And then we've also talked about some tips about how to keep and develop more self care techniques which are key in order for us to let go of having our self care be our or I'm sorry, using self care to nurture ourselves. We want to move in in his proper places nourishment and self care as being nourishing. And then as we're nourishing ourselves I'm sorry, nurturing ourselves with self care, we're then not using food to nurture ourselves. So we want to use self care to nurture ourselves. I thank you all for coming. This is Kim McLaughlin. I'm from feed your soul unlimited, and this was our question and answer session. I look forward to talking to you soon. Bye everyone. Thank you for joining us on the feed your soul with Kim podcast. We come to you every Monday with fresh new eyes. He is to help you end emotional eating and put food in its proper places nourishment. Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and review it and let us know what you think. Thank you for joining us.