136: The Missing Pieces of Mental Health: 6 Pillars That Actually Help

Mental Health Awareness Month is an opportunity to do more than simply talk about mental health—it’s a chance to explore what truly supports our well-being.

While awareness has helped reduce stigma and encourage important conversations, many people still struggle to understand what mental health actually looks like in daily life. As a therapist, I've found that mental wellness isn't built on one habit, one mindset shift, or one self-care practice. It comes from caring for yourself as a whole person.

In this episode, I share the six pillars of mental health that I use with clients to create meaningful, sustainable change:

✨ Physical Health
✨ Emotional Health
✨ Mental Health
✨ Lifestyle
✨ Mindfulness
✨ Self-Love

We'll discuss why mental health is about much more than positive thinking and how small, intentional actions can create lasting shifts in your well-being.

In This Episode You'll Learn:

• Why Mental Health Awareness Month matters
• How stigma impacts mental health treatment and support
• Why a holistic approach to mental wellness is essential
• The connection between your body, thoughts, emotions, and daily habits
• How to identify which pillar of mental health may need more attention
• Simple practices you can begin using today

Please note this podcast is not a substitute for mental health therapy or seeing your physician. Please see a qualified professional if you think you have mental health struggles. 

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Kim McLaughlin, MA

Kim McLaughlin is a psychotherapist. coach, speaker, and author. She helps people who feel frustrated, overwhelmed, and overloaded, and it shows up in feeling unsatisfied in your life. She has a Master of Arts Degree in Clinical Psychology. Kim is a certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, helping people to gain peace with food. 

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Transcript

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Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Feed Your Soul with Kim podcast. If you're looking to feel better in your life and you want to feed your soul, you are in the right place. Here, we believe life just doesn't have to be so hard. I'm Kim McLaughlin. I'm your host. I'm a psychotherapist, speaker, coach, and bestselling author. In today's podcast, we're talking about the missing pieces of mental health: six pillars that can actually help I just wanna acknowledge that last month was May, and that was Mental Health Awareness Month. And truly, I think every month should be Mental Health Awareness Month. It shouldn't just be in May. So we're gonna record this in June and actually make it more evergreen to where it's something we're gonna really come back to every month. Mental health awareness has become popular in different kind of waves throughout time, and the movement really originated in the 1900s, and came onto public consciousness during the 1990s when we were exploring new brain science and new ways of therapeutic treatment. In the 2010s, we really started to see more of the social media aspect where people were talking about mental health and mental wellness. Celebrities were talking about it in terms of their own mental health issues or their family's mental health issues. And we can see there are these global campaigns where there's more talk about mental health. Some reasons why we're focused on mental health awareness is 'cause there's so much stigma. I remember learning about this when I was working with people who were experiencing homelessness and mental health issues, and we really could see the amount of stigma towards them, and that really made them and the people that we worked with not want to get treatment. So the stigma, this reducing stigma is super important, and the CDC recognizes mental health stigma as, quote, "Stigma refers to negative attitudes, beliefs, and stereotypes people hold towards those who experience mental health conditions. Stigma can prevent or delay people from seeking care or cause them to discontinue treatment." And I think we all play a part in really reducing mental health stigma, and part of that is really looking at advocating towards more mental health services, more mental health access. Because the more places we can go to, there really is a place for people to go to receive help. And I talk about this a lot as my work as a therapist helping people with their mental health issues. I think also besides increasing that access, there's also the idea of normalizing discussions about mental health, really looking at mental health as something that we just talk about. Just like we talk about diabetes and other health challenges, that we just talk about mental health issues On the regular, on a normal basis. I think that you will find that when you start talking about it and normalizing it, how many people have similar feelings and issues to you if you have a mental health issue, and that you'll find there's actually more camaraderie and more togetherness and similarities than there are differences. And this helps people feel more inclined to talk about it more. I think we'll have more podcasts on stigma and mental health issues in the future because I think it's another thing that we have to take a little bit more time to talk about. But today I wanna talk about mental health and what I call the six pillars that support real and sustained mental health. And we're gonna look about having this honest conversation about what these pillars are so that we can start understanding more about mental health issues, and really what to do about them, because I truthfully, I find mental health issues affect everybody, and we just have to start looking at what can we do about it, and being more realistic. I like looking at it in more of this holistic approach, hence why we have six pillars to talk about rather than making it more of a simplistic kinda thing. I think often when we hear talk about mental health issues, we're really hearing it from a simplified kind of idea of if you're feeling a certain way, just let it go. If you're having these thoughts, just let it go. And there's really not a look at this kind of holistic mind, body, spirit idea about mental health issues. Really what we find, what I find, is that mental health is multidimensional, and that's why I talk about the six pillars, and they're the foundation of what I do when I work with people with their mental health issues. So here you are. I don't think these ideas will be uncommon to you, but actually looking at them as how they work together I think will be something new and dynamic. So here are the six pillars. The first one is the physical pillar. The second one is emotional. The third is mental, our mindset, our thoughts. The fourth is lifestyle, which is everything that happens on a daily basis, your, the education, going to school, going to work, dealing with your family, dealing with the community, dealing with society, money. All those things are in lifestyle. The fifth is mindfulness, that kind of higher order of how we see ourselves in community with others. And the last one is self-love. So let's look at these these six together, and then what we're gonna do is as we go forward with other podcasts, we're gonna talk about how these six pillars actually work together. I think what you'll find is that generally self-help gurus will often talk about one pillar or two, and they won't talk about how these six come together and how you can create so much more change in a more enjoyable, peaceful life when you start looking at these areas all together. So let's go on. Let's talk about those six pillars of mental health. The first one is physical, and that's really focusing on the physical body, how your body works. And that includes what we talk about often on this podcast is we talked about food and food issues and how much we eat, and that is one that's part that's really important. And so that's that nutrition part that is super important in terms of that physical health, that physical pillar. And other areas within this physical area is sleep and movement and nervous system regulation. All the things that have to do with your body are super important. And what we find is that dysregulation in our emotions often shows up physically first. So I like asking the question when there's something going on in our body, what is it trying to tell us? What is it trying to tell me? I've talked with clients before that like when my throat gets sore, I often will say, "I wonder, throat, what are you trying to tell me?" And generally what it says, what the information is about a sore throat is I need to slow down. I need to stop talking. I need to have more quiet time. And so that reflection on what my body's telling me is super important. One tool that we can have with this physical aspect, this physical pillar is what's one small habit you can have that really would help your body? Certain things could be like hydration. I have my water next to me, so I like to take sips throughout my talking and throughout the podcast. 'Cause I wanna keep my body hydrated, and I keep water over there because I tend to drink a lot of coffee, and so I like having water nearby so I can kinda balance that out. Another small habit could be walking or some kind of physical activities. Hi, this is Kim. If something in today's episode brought up emotions or made you realize you'd like more support, you don't have to go through this alone. I work with people who are ready to feel more grounded, confident, and at peace in their lives. You can schedule a free 15 minute consultation and learn more about therapy and me at Feed Your Soul therapy.com. I talk a lot about the idea that we're in a physical body, and when we're in a physical body, we have to do things to keep our body going and keep in movement. This is really important. Once again, I talk to people all the time that have overeating, binge eating, eating disorders as issues, and one of the things that plays out with those kind of issues, those kind of mental health issues, is that there is a lack or desire to wanna be physical because your body feels so out of balance. And I encourage you to look at, what's one small thing I can do physically today? Can I take a walk? Can I go up and down stairs? Can I do some squats? What is it physically I can do to take care of my body? Other tools we can use is having a consistent sleep time, and really focusing on making sleep a priority. And lastly, foods that nourish your body, foods that feel good in your body and give you energy to do the things that you need to do. So when we're talking about that physical component, start considering what's one tool, what's one idea I can have that I could start doing to make some kind of difference? I always like the idea at the end of our podcast is to have a doable. What are you going to do differently? And what I like about talking about these six pillars is pick a doable. Pick one, one area and focus on it. Just do one tool connected to it. It makes it more easier, in quotes, to do that because it's not some random idea of what you could do. What's one small habit I can do for my physical health? I can drink more water. So here- I'm drinking water. I've done that. And so that keeps me going in terms of the practicing of keeping my mental health alive. And truly, our physical component is part of our mental health. Hear that one again, our physical body is part of our mental health. So really see how you can do something to bring in that idea of checking in on that physical pillar. The next one is emotional health, and that's that emotional pillar where we lean into what we're feeling. Truthfully, having feelings is not a problem. What the problem ends up being is what do we do about them? How do we recognize them? How do we not act out when they're going on? We might be suppressing them and pushing them down so that we don't have Or not allowing those feelings to come out. It can be normal to feel discomfort with emotions. You might feel like you want to suppress them, like you say, "I'm having this feeling, I wanna push it down. I wanna push it down." And what I'm hoping we can lean into is having more emotional awareness where we start wondering, what is this emotion? What's going on inside myself? I think it has... It can be very helpful to start wondering what we're feeling. I've been working more with my clients around the feeling in their body and then asking what that feeling in their body, what emotion is that? What's that emotion attached to it? We can have a tightness in our chest and it can be that means anxiety. For me also, I get a tightness in my jaw and that can mean I'm feeling anxiety. Then I can start recognizing, oh, there's this body sensation. Oh, there's this feeling. What can I start doing with that? Because we're starting to recognize, we're starting to have that awareness and not having suppression. I encourage you to start wondering and sitting with feelings, and I invite clients to start naming their feelings and being curious about them, being curious about, what does this feeling mean for me? One tool I like to use around feelings is I like to use journaling, and I like to write about what's going on inside my body, what's going on inside my head, what emotions are coming out, so I can start recognizing what it's about and I can start leaning into it rather than suppressing it and leaning away from it. One tool besides the journaling is focusing on naming the feeling. Naming the feeling and wondering what it might mean. So the feeling could be... I like to go through really simple, feelings like happy, sad, mad, Frustrated, lonely, bored, anxious, fearful. Those are eight words that are pretty common that we could come up and wonder if any of those are the feelings we're having. And I encourage you to start naming the feelings, wondering what that feeling is, and locate where you feel it in the body, and just allow yourself to be with it. Allow yourself to experience that feeling. What happens is we often try and push it away, suppress it, tap it down. And what I find is that the more we do that, the more we end up overcompensating with that feeling, and it shows up magnified. If you're mad at somebody and you don't recognize it, you don't notice it in your body, you don't notice that you're having this feeling, and you don't allow it to be in yourself and you just react, what I find is that when we're angry, we can blast people and be really angry and say things we don't mean, and have to really go into backtracking because when we're angry, we don't generally make the clearest representation about what's going on and what might be leading to that anger. I encourage you to start recognizing the feeling, naming it, noticing it in your body, and just allow it to be. It will dissipate. If you just allow yourself to settle in with it, it will dissipate and not necessarily go away, but it will lessen if we can just sit with it. And this is where all these other pillars can help you do that when you're having feelings, is you can also use these other pillars to help you lean into it and not overreact. That is a true way of using these pillars. The third pillar that I talk about is the mental pillar, and this is the thought patterns, the thoughts that lead you really astray, and the thoughts, the things in your head that tell you things that generally are not true. We tend to believe those thoughts. We tend to believe what our mind is thinking, and more often than not, they're not true. We have inner critics that talk to us. We have the overthinking. We have old patterns, old stereotypes, old what records in our head, old stories. And then those show up in terms of our behavior because we're not being more critical or looking at what those thoughts might really be about. You don't have to act on every thought that you have, and you don't have to believe every thought that you have. I tell my clients, I said, you make these thoughts up, and you can unmake them up." And I find it helpful to ask the question, is this true? Is this true? Is this thought that I'm having right now is true? Is it true, or is it something that I'm thinking might happen in the future, or I'm wondering if it happens? But is this thought based on truth? That is a super important question. What do you know to be true right now? Is this truth? I then find that once we lean into that, we can start pulling out of being overreactionary because of this thought. We start then wondering is that the truth? It might be the truth in the future, but it's not right now. It might have been true in the past, but it's not right now. So really looking at acknowledging and wondering what those thoughts mean. It's really about not pushing them down, but just wondering about them, and I think that's the point of being calm with the thoughts and not getting into allowing them to overtake us. Really important, and that's one thing I love to do. Is this the truth is one tool that I love to use to help me when my thoughts get really out of control and out of hand. The fourth pillar that we have is lifestyle, and this is everything having to do with work and with school and with family and with children and with money and Social events and other people that you have to deal with. It's all the life and all the things that really can drain our mental health, and really can be opportunities for us to wonder, "Is this something I wanna do? Is this something I wanna be a part of? Is this a person I want to be with?" And I think that then allows us the opportunity to look at boundaries, at relationships, at that idea of work/life balance, and just what all is going on in front of us, and is it really working for us anymore? Sometimes this these ideas can be tied to people pleasing and wanting to take care of everybody else at our own expense. We're saying yes to all the things that really are a no, or we don't really want to do but we feel bad, we feel uncomfortable, we feel we have to do it, so we do these things anyway. And I wanna wonder is, where in your life are you saying yes where you should say no? Where are you doing things that you really don't want to do? And what I find is that when we do those things that we really aren't wanting to do in our lives, then those emotions show up, that then we ha- act out and we get in trouble for being overly sarcastic, or we sound mean, or we sound angry, and then people react to that, and then we have a whole different kind of conversation with people where it feels really uncomfortable. I think in terms of lifestyle, one of the things, one of the tools that can be super helpful is setting a boundary, and really coming back to that idea of, where am I saying yes in my life where I should say no? What's something where it's really a no and that is a boundary, and how might that help me if I started saying yes to the things that are yes and no to the things that are no? And creating that boundary so that I'm not reactionary in my emotions, right? This is how these components can tie together, these pillars can tie together. The fifth pillar is mindfulness, and that's that mind, body, spirit awareness. That part of us that gets really into being centered in ourselves and being present to what is really going on. I think of it like being in the quiet within yourself. You could consider it as part of a spiritual practice, a religious practice. I think of it as really being mindfully present in my body to what's really my heart's desire. Where is my heart content? Where can I feel calm and centered? And that, to me, is where that mindfulness really plays a huge part. And it means being present within ourselves without judgment, without those thoughts that come in that really start judging ourselves, but just being quiet in the moment. I find this is really a hard thing for people In this time in our culture, it's really hard to do. It's really hard to get that inner quiet. I talk to people that want that, and it's painful for them to think about or to be in any kind of moment where it's quiet, where it's quiet outside, where it's quiet inside. They get really upset and angry and unsure about what to do, that kind of really emotional reac- reactivity comes in. And it's hard to figure out how do we get that more clearing of our mind without having all those thoughts and feelings invading us. So I just wanna wonder with you about how often are you mindfully present within yourself throughout the day. How often can you do that? I think there's always more room for improvement. I do it more often today than I did a year ago, more than I did five or 10 years ago, and I'm find I can get more of that peaceful, regulated feeling inside of myself, but it's taken lots of years of really practicing on a daily basis. So really wonder to yourself, how often do I do it? And really being honest. Really being honest if it's really happening. Are you really able to get quiet? A couple of things I like to do, one I wanted to bring up today is I learned this tool when I was learning about positive intelligence. I learned about how grounding and centering it is to wash your hands. Wash your hands with cool water, with a soap that feels really good, and just experiencing yourself washing your hands is so grounding and so much of an opportunity to be present in your body. I encourage you to try it because it works really well. And you can get extra points by then after you wash your hands, it's really cool and dry them off, and feel yourself doing that, and then putting lotion on that you love, the smell that you love. You're engaging your senses, but also it's a very grounding, mindful way to be in your body. I know it sounds so simplistic. It works. It's a big takeaway for me about how to become more mindful, is to wash my hands with lovely smelling soap- in cool water and just feel what that feels like, and feel your hands and just center yourself on your hands and how that feels. That, I hope, is a big takeaway for some of you to try that as something to be more mindful with. The last pillar that I talk about in terms of our mental health and mental wellness is self-love. I think your relationship with yourself sets the tone for everything else, and I always, I talk about how I put this as the sixth pillar even though I think it should be number one. And I put it as sixth because people generally don't believe me. When they first start working with me, they don't believe that self-love should be the most important thing, but it is. It should be the one that we focus on the most. I remember I had a person that I worked with a long time ago who whenever they were struggling and i'd look at them and they'd say, "I know, Kim. I know. I need to practice more self-love." And it's like, yeah. There is a huge lack of self-love, and self-love does not mean having a bubble bath or having a pedicure or going to get your nails done. I think that's where we tend to get very superficial about what self-love means. Yes, it's loving to do those things, to have a bubble bath, to have a pedicure, but it's not what I'm talking about in terms of really internalizing self-love and this loving of yourself. It's really the difference between increasing your self-compassion, increasing how you talk to yourself, and be compassionate with yourself rather than focusing on self-criticism. We all, in this culture, we lean into self-criticism. We actually think it's important. We think it's important to be self-critical because that then makes us more alive, more aware, more in touch, more valuable, and we actually think that self-criticism makes it so that we do better in our jobs, with our families, in our communication, and I'm here to tell you the opposite. The opposite is true. Self-compassion and self-love are the biggest keys to you making changes in your life because you're coming through it, you're coming from a, a attitude of, of thankfulness and joyfulness and love. When we're critical of ourself, we tend to get more angry, we tend to blame others, we tend to be sarcastic and mean and do things and say things that we really don't mean if we were in our really loving self. One way to start looking at this is how would you talk to somebody you love about whatever the issue is that you're criticizing yourself on? What would you say to them? And I know 100% of the people will tell me that they would talk compassionately to that person, that they would be kind to them, but they're not kind to themselves when they do the same, have the same issue going on. I think this is a key component, and it really du- dovetails into all the other pillars and what, what will be so helpful to increase our mental health and to increase our mental wellness. So I think that's a great tool is that when you're getting when you're getting critical of yourself, to imagine yourself talking to yourself as you were a younger child, and what would you say to them if they were having this struggle that you're having right now? What would you say to them? I have this thing where I talk about, "There, there," I put a hand on the back of myself and say, "Oh, hon, it's okay. You're gonna be okay." And to really have that compassion because that leads to a change in behavior. It la- it leans into more of an attitude of gratitude where then our behavior more reflects how we want it to reflect, and it's more enlivening in our relationships Oh, that's a lot. That was six pillars. That's a lot of information, and they're all interconnected. They're not separate silos. So what we wanna do is just start working on them and start wondering which do I need to come at first? You need all of them in balance, but we can't do it all at once. So let's just start with something that is concerning for you. Let's say you're having negative thinking, and that leads to a s- a strained relationship. It's like let's then think about what are those thoughts I'm having, and are they true, and are they real? And what is the truth about this situation? To start really toning down those negative thoughts so that then when we enter into that communication, we're entering into it in a different way. So looking at how these pillars interact with each other can be super beneficial. Really, I wanna challenge you to recognize that you can't fix everything all at once. And we come at this, all these self-help ideas, back to those self-help gurus that if you just do this one thing, you're gonna fix everything in your life, and it's just not true. So I encourage you to start just picking one aspect. What happens is when our mind says, you know, "If I just do this one thing over and over again, I'll be successful, and everything will be fine, and I'll create this life that I want," and that's that part of your mind that keeps you stuck, that wants you to just stay stuck in the same routine over and over again expecting a different result. So let's lean into some things that can help us move beyond that stuck point. And that can be choosing one of the pillars to focus on during the week. What's something you can do differently this week? What can you do literally once we end this podcast? Once we end this podcast, what can you do? So let's talk about some ideas, and I really encourage you to pick one. I encourage you to pick one, and I encourage you to write it down in the notes as in the comments section of the podcast. Or if you're watching on YouTube, write it in the comments on YouTube. I wanna hear what you're thinking, what you're gonna do, what you've done, because this encourages all of us to step up and try something different. So in terms of the first pillar, a physical one, take a walk one time outside. Go take a walk around the block. Go get outside for a little bit and take some fresh air. Another thing you can do is drink a little bit of water. I've been doing that w- throughout the show, so I'm actually practicing it right now. That helps our physical body stay hydrated, which helps us feel more enlivened and give us the energy to do the things we need to do. The third thing you could do for the physical component is go to bed at a regular bedtime. Lots of studies has shown us that getting to bed on time is very important and very critical to having better mental health during the day. Also, it increases physical health throughout the day. It also increases our mindset. It helps us get more things done. So many good reasons why we should get to bed on a regular time every day. In terms of the emotional pillar start naming feelings. Name them and just give a name to them. "I'm feeling uncomfortable. I'm feeling sad. I'm feeling overwhelmed." And just name them. There is power in giving them a name because then it takes it out of the realm of wondering about it into, "This is how I'm feeling." Another thing you can do about emotions is acknowledge them. "I'm having a feeling right now. I don't know what to call it. I don't know what it is. I feel it in my body. I feel it in my hands. I feel it... I feel something." And just acknowledge that you're having a feeling, even if you cannot figure out what the name of it is. Just start recognizing it, that something is going on. Another way to deal with this is to write about these emotions in your journal. I love... That's actually one of my big pieces that I do, is I write pretty much every day in my journal, and I write down how I feel. I write down what's going on. I write down where my thoughts are off, off target. So journaling about that emotional component, that emotional pillar, is super important. In terms of the mental- Notice when you're having those destructive thoughts, when you're having those negative thoughts. We all have them. I am as guilty as anybody else. Here, I'm gonna take a sip of water I'm as guilty as anybody else of having negative thoughts, and it really bothers me, and I realize that we all have them, and they're these destructive thoughts that wanna keep us stuck. So I just start noticing "Oh. Oh, Kim, there's that negative thought. Okay, there it is," and I just watch it leave by, but I start noticing it. Doesn't mean I have to do anything about it, doesn't mean I have to beat myself up. It just means I'm noticing that I'm having a negative thought, and then I can choose to do something about it or not, but I'm starting from the point of I notice them. And then another thing you can do, another tool, is be curious about that thought. "Huh, look at that negative thought. I wonder what's going on that I'm having this negative thought. I wonder what's going on?" And just have a conversation wondering about it, not doing anything with it, not acting on that thought, but just recognizing it, and be curious about it. Another way is what we talked about with noticing the destructive thoughts, is let it drift from your mind. Just let it go, like the scroll that they have on the the television at the bottom where they scroll. Just let it scroll on by. It's like, oh, there it is. Just because that thought is there doesn't mean you have to do anything, doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means you're having a negative thought, and we're just noticing it and letting it move on by. Those are really important ways to work on, deal with, manage, handle that mental health, that mental pillar. Super important and super critical 'cause we all have those negative, destructive thoughts all throughout the day. So let's look at the lifestyle pillar. What could we do? We've talked about some of these already, but let's just make sure that we put them on the schedule that we're going to do them. One is say yes to something that you really wanna do. When it's a yuck, it's a yes, heck yes, I really wanna do that. And if it's a no, say no to something that you don't wanna do. That actually is the harder part, is saying no when it's something you really don't wanna do. I have a hard time with that, and sometimes what I'll start doing is I'm not sure. And then I can go away and think about, is this a heck yes or is it a heck no? If it's not a heck yes, then I'm saying it's a no until it's a yes. So those are some ways that I like to handle that because I say yes to way too many things, to more things than I should, and I end up not being happy in a situation because I think I'm supposed to say yes when sometimes I need to say no. And I need to say no for my mental health. The, another tool for that lifestyle pillar is plan a fun activity. Like when have you last had fun? When did you last enjoy yourself? I have been leaning into a bike. I bought a bike what was it? Two weeks ago. Oh my gosh. I used to love riding bikes when I was a kid. I loved it. Rode all over the neighborhood all day, nighttime, loved it. And then now we have a bike that the an old bi- I had an old bike that the tire was flat, it didn't work well, I didn't like it. Ugh. And I finally said, "I want a new bike. I want to ride bikes again" and I went out and got a bike. Oh my gosh, I love it. It is so much fun. Last night we actually went out bike riding at sunset. Oh! So much fun. Got to ride around the neighborhood, go see different parts of the neighborhood. I really enjoyed it. So what is your idea of fun and how can you make that happen for you as that lifestyle pillar to increase your mental health? In terms of mindfulness- Some of the things I like to do, some tools I have, is take a six-second deep breath or whatever, two, four seconds, five seconds, whatever it is. Breathe in for six sec- seconds, hold for six seconds, and then release for six seconds. It's really this mindful way of regulating your body. Your body will calm down with that kind of a in breath for six seconds, hold for six, release for six. Then in for six, hold for six, release for six. It really calms your body in a way that's very powerful, and I find this is something that I do irregularly, and every time I do it, it feels really good and I calm down. My body calms down, my emotions calm down, and my mind calms down. All those other three pillars calm down. So this is really a super big win if you practice it. Another area of mindfulness that I like is I have essential oils right in front. If you're on YouTube and you can see this, I have some doTERRA essential oils just right here in front of my screen here, and I love to put them on and I love to smell them. I love... I'm actually gonna do that right now, because it makes me feel... Oh, my gosh, that's so good. It makes me feel grounded. It makes me feel grounded in a way that many other things don't. I love smells, and it- when I put it on my hand, when I put it on my wrist, when I put it on my neck, I can smell it throughout the day at various times, and it just- takes me down a notch and calms me down. It always works. It's really good. So that's another tool for mindfulness. A third tool for mindfulness I already talked to you about is washing your hands with soap. Putting your hands under water, putting soap on your hands, feeling the water on your skin, feeling the soap on your skin, moving the soap around your skin, washing it off. It is a powerful, mindful practice that we could do multiple times throughout the day. I actually sometimes come in from outside and go wash my hands just to have that grounding aspect so that I get more present in my body, it calms my emotions, it calms my mind, and I feel more present within my body. Those are some huge, big wins for mindfulness tools. Lastly, let's talk about self-love. There are lots of tools for self-love that I think we don't do very often 'cause they're h- they're s- once again, it's the last thing we wanna think of, and I'm here to say let's make it more of a priority. A tool for that self-love pillar is choosing positive affirmations. What's something positive you can say that really helps you calm down into yourself and be more present with that loving, heart-filled side of you? One of 'em I like that I really do use myself is I am here. I am here. I am here in my heart. I am present. I am here. And that is an affirmation that is really important to me, and it has a lot of impact on me from things that have happened before, and I love that one. So find a positive affirmation that fits for you. Another one is doing just kind of holding your heart. If you can see me, if you're on YouTube, you see me putting my hands on my heart. Just putting your hands on that heart space and just being present to that is this self-love. It tells your body, it tells your mind, I am in a self-loving component. I'm I don't know. I can't think of a good word. I am self-love. I am body self-love right now. And it helps you get really centered in that heart space And the last one I think of that I find very hard, and actually my yoga teacher, my Sunday morning yoga teacher always has this every week, is she has us tell ourselves, "I love you." She says that every week we tell ourselves, "I love you," and that can be a hard one to do. I know that there are some people that, that will do it saying, "You should say I love you in the mirror." I find that's kinda hard, and I love that my yoga instructor includes it in our yoga practice. So I'm gonna just encourage you, tell yourself, "I love you." You even could put your hands on your heart and say, "I love you. I love you." And that can be a way of really centering into that idea of self-love, and that then will once again calm down any emotion, anything that feels like it's in crisis, any thoughts that are feeling out of control. It really does help you feel more centered and also in that mindfulness way that it really works Engaging in these pillars, in these practices with these pillars is an opportunity to focus on yourself through this lens of curiosity. What might be one tool I might do? One little tool. I'm gonna say, "I love you," to myself. I'm gonna put my heart, my hand on my heart and just be curious. Release out the judgment of this is crazy, this is stupid, but just lean into that curiosity and just see how it can go for you. Because in the end, mental health is ongoing. It's not something you arrive at and you're done. You've reached your destination. It is never like that. It's an ongoing process. It's an ongoing journey and way of being that I like to dig more into day by day. So mental health is ongoing. Mental wellness is ongoing. And it takes courage to look at that inner world, to look at what's going on inside your body, what's going on in your emotions, in your thoughts, in your lifestyle, in your mindfulness, in that quiet space and in your heart. It takes courage to do all of that, to examine that inner world, and I believe you can do it. I know that small and consistent care and creating opportunities can create meaningful change over time. I know that happens. I see it on a daily basis with all the people I work with friends that I have that do this, with myself. I am a changed, different person by practicing all of these pillars. It works, and let's just do it one little piece, one little tool at a time. So I encourage you, take one tool today and just try it at the end of this podcast and see how it goes and let me know what you experience. I am excited to have talked about these mental health pillars with you all. I encourage you to lean into them and really explore what they mean for you and what you can do to increase your mental health and mental wellness. This is Kim McLaughlin. I'm from Feed Your Soul with Kim podcast. I look forward to talking with you all next time. Goodbye and have a great rest of the day Thank you for joining us on the Feed Your Soul With Kim Podcast. We love bringing you fresh content to help you feed your soul. We would appreciate it if you would subscribe and leave a comment about our podcast so others can find us. Here's a disclaimer. This podcast is not a replacement for mental health counseling. If you are suffering, seek out a qualified mental health provider. You are worth it.