Ep 128: Redefining Productivity: How to Rest & Relax Without The Guilt

In this episode, I’m talking about redefining productivity so you can stop feeling guilty for resting. Sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do — and I’m breaking down how to shift your mindset to truly believe that. If you’re exhausted from always feeling like you should be doing more, this is a must-listen.

• Shift from "doing" to "being": Instead of measuring productivity by how much you accomplish, focus on how you feel and who you are becoming in the process — sometimes slowing down is the most productive thing you can do.
• Rest is productive, too: Rest, reflection, and stillness are essential for real growth and clarity. You don’t need to "earn" your rest — it’s part of staying well and showing up fully in life.
• Detach worth from output: Your value isn’t tied to how much you get done. Redefining productivity means giving yourself permission to prioritize what matters — even if that looks like doing less.

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Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to the podcast! I'm so glad you're here. Today, I want to talk about something that's been coming up a lot lately in my work with clients, and honestly, it's something I know so many of us struggle with.

It's this idea that we constantly have to be doing. Like, unless we're checking things off a to-do list or being “productive,” somehow we’re falling behind or not using our time well enough. I don't know about you, but sometimes I catch myself feeling guilty for just… existing. Resting. Scrolling on my phone. Watching a show. Sitting outside doing literally nothing. Like, why does that feel so wrong?

But what if we've been looking at productivity all wrong? What if being—just being a human, taking care of yourself, resting, doing things purely because they bring you joy or help you unwind—is actually its own kind of productivity?

That’s what I want to unpack with you today. I want us to question how we define "productive," and why we put so much pressure on ourselves to always be achieving or improving or producing something. And maybe, hopefully, by the end of this episode, you’ll feel a little more permission to slow down, to take up space, to rest—without all the guilt that usually tags along.

So grab a cup of coffee or tea, get cozy, and let’s dive in.

And I get it—this is tricky stuff, because we've been taught for so long that productivity equals worth. Like, the busier you are, the better you're doing at life. But... who even made those rules? And what if they don't actually serve us?

So before we go any further, I want to slow things down and really look at this idea of productivity—where it comes from, how we define it, and why it might be time to rewrite the definition entirely.

Because the truth is, productivity is super subjective. And when we start to see it through a different lens, it opens up so much more freedom to just… exist. To care for ourselves. To let being be enough.

Let me explain what I mean.

So, let’s just start by asking the question:
What is productivity, anyway?

I think most of us have been conditioned to define it as getting stuff done. Crossing tasks off a list. Achieving goals. Making progress. Basically... producing something that feels measurable, like “Look at all these things I accomplished today!”

But here’s the thing: that's just one way to look at productivity. I think that’s  pretty narrow, 

Because what feels productive to me might look totally different for you.
For one person, productivity could be powering through a work project or cleaning the whole house. For someone else, it might be spending the afternoon reading, or taking a nap, or going for a walk without a destination.

And all of those things count.

Also, what’s productive in one moment might not serve you in another.  Think about times where you’re overtired or over stressed… your mind isn’t as focused and when you try to accomplish things you’re just not as effective. Rest might be needed! But in another moment, maybe it does serve you to focus on doing.

We don’t give enough credit to the kind of “doing” that doesn’t have a clear outcome. Things like resting, daydreaming, processing our thoughts, recharging our bodies. But those are the things that quietly keep us going. They support our mental health. They fill our emotional tanks.

So why don't we see that as productive?

It’s like we’ve bought into this belief that only certain types of activities are worthy of our time. The ones that are obvious. The ones other people can see and applaud. The ones that feel like hustle.

Friends. We are not machines. We were never meant to just crank out results all day every day. And when we hold ourselves to that standard, it's exhausting and unsustainable.

So what if we started redefining productivity in a way that's more personal?
More flexible?
More... human?

Like, maybe productivity isn’t just about output. Maybe it's about nourishment. Maybe it’s about taking care of the parts of us that don’t show up on a spreadsheet.

When you start looking at it that way, suddenly, a lot of things that we tend to judge ourselves for—things like resting, or scrolling Instagram, or taking a slow morning—actually start to look pretty valuable.

So, just sit with that for a second.
What would it mean if all the things that support you, even the quiet little in-between moments, were just as valid as the big, impressive achievements?

Because honestly? They are.

Now, here's where things get really sneaky.

Even knowing all this—like, logically understanding that rest is important and being isn’t less valuable than doing—we still judge ourselves for it, don’t we?

You know what I mean.
It’s that voice that creeps in when you're sitting on the couch, halfway through a Netflix binge, and it whispers,
“Shouldn't you be doing something more productive?”

Or when you're scrolling your phone after a long day and suddenly you're like,
“Wow. What a waste of time. I could’ve been getting something done.”

And listen, I’ve totally been there. That little guilt gremlin loves to pop up and tell us we’re falling behind or slacking off, even when we're just trying to give ourselves a break.

But here’s the thing:
That voice? That judgment?
It usually comes from some old story we picked up along the way.
Maybe it’s from how we were raised. Maybe it’s from school. Maybe it's from hustle culture and this constant messaging that busy equals successful. Maybe it’s a combination of a lot of stories that we meld into one belief system.

And honestly... that mindset? It’s exhausting.
It's like we never give ourselves permission to just be.

So what if we started noticing when that judgment pops up?
Instead of spiraling into guilt or shaming ourselves, we just pause and ask,
“Wait a second... where is this coming from? Who told me that resting isn't a worthy activity? Why do I feel like I need to earn my downtime?”

The truth is, you don’t need to earn your rest.
You don’t have to finish the to-do list before you're allowed to relax.
You are worthy of care and stillness and softness, even if you didn't cross off a single thing today.

And honestly, half the time, those moments we label as “doing nothing” are actually exactly what we need to regulate, recharge, and keep going.

So the next time you notice that judgment creeping in, I want you to try replacing it with a little curiosity.
Instead of, “Ugh, I’m being so lazy,”
try, “Huh... I wonder why I’m feeling guilty for taking a break?”

It’s a small shift, but it opens the door to so much more compassion for yourself.

And that’s where the real change starts.

So, now that we’re seeing how that judgment shows up, let’s play with this idea of flipping the script.

What if—just hear me out—rest is actually productive?

I know, it feels weird to even say that out loud because we’ve been taught that productivity is only about action. About output. About visible results. But honestly? Rest (and play too) is one of the most important investments we can make in ourselves.

Because here’s the truth: when we rest, we restore.
We reset our nervous systems.
We refill our mental, emotional, and physical energy.
We make space for creativity, for problem-solving, for showing up fully in our relationships, in our work, and in the stuff we actually care about.

And it’s not just a nice idea. There’s real science behind it.
Our brains literally need downtime.
They need that blank, unstructured space to process, to integrate, to make sense of things. Ever notice how your best ideas pop up when you’re in the shower or taking a walk or lying in bed? Yeah. That’s not a coincidence.

But the problem is, we don’t see rest as productive because it doesn’t have immediate, flashy results.
There’s no “done” box to check.
You don’t get a gold star for taking a nap.
Nobody claps for you when you watch a movie or sit outside and stare at the clouds.

But those things? They matter.

They’re the quiet, invisible work that keeps us going.

And when we can start looking at rest—whether that’s sleep, play, daydreaming, whatever your version of downtime is—as an essential part of our overall wellbeing, it takes on a whole new level of importance.

So instead of thinking:
“Ugh, I should be doing something useful,”
what if you reminded yourself:
“This is useful. This is necessary. This is part of my rhythm.”

We cannot pour from an empty cup.
And rest, slowing down, just being... that’s how we refill it.

So, when we talk about this shift—redefining rest as productive and letting ourselves just be—it fits so perfectly into the work I do around caring for the whole self: body, mind, and spirit.

Because the truth is, if we’re only tending to one or two of those areas, we're gonna feel off. We won’t feel fully alive or fulfilled. It takes all three working together. And rest? Stillness? Slowing down? They feed every part of us.

For example:

✨ Body – Rest is literally how our bodies repair and recharge. Without downtime, we burn out. We get sick. We run on fumes. Movement is important, sure, but so is stillness. Rest is body care. Rest is a productive part of caring for our bodies.

✨ Mind – Our minds need quiet. They need space to process, to wander, to breathe. Constant input and constant doing overload us. Giving ourselves permission to just be helps calm the noise and bring us back into clarity. Rest is mind care. Rest is a productive part of caring for our minds.

✨ Spirit – And honestly, this is the big one for me. Rest reconnects us to ourselves. To our deeper sense of purpose, to joy, to the simple act of existing. When we’re constantly chasing the next task, we miss out on the magic of the present moment. Rest makes space for spirit to speak. Rest is a productive part of caring for our spirits and souls.

So really, embracing rest isn’t just some luxury or something we "get to do" after we’ve checked all the boxes. It’s essential and  foundational.

When you bring in the added layers of self-awareness, self-compassion, and intentional living—those mindset tools we talked about earlier—it gets even more powerful.

Because now you're not just resting because you're exhausted and have no other choice.
You're resting on purpose.
You're noticing the old stories about what it means to be productive, meeting yourself with kindness, and choosing to live in a way that actually supports the full picture of who you are.

Body. Mind. Spirit.
All taken care of.
All equally worthy.
All needing moments of stillness and moments of movement.

And I don’t know about you, but that feels pretty productivity to me.

Okay, so let’s make this super real and actionable.
Because it's one thing to talk about giving ourselves permission to rest and be... but how do we actually start living that way?

Here are a few simple ways to practice embracing being over constant doing:

1. Check in with yourself regularly.

Throughout the day, pause and ask:
→ What does my body need?
→ How’s my mind feeling?
→ What would nourish my spirit right now?

You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight. Just start noticing. Awareness is step one.

2. Reframe your definition of productivity.

When you find yourself thinking, “I didn’t get enough done,” try swapping that thought for, “What did I do today that supported my body, mind, or spirit?”
Maybe you took a nap. Maybe you called a friend. Maybe you just made it through a hard day.
That all counts. All of it. We need balance!

3. Schedule in true downtime.

Actually put it on your calendar like you would a meeting or workout. Block out time for “nothing.” For play. For rest. And here’s the key part—protect that time. Treat it like it matters... because it does.

4. Practice self-compassion when guilt pops up.

Because it will pop up.
When it does, gently remind yourself:
“I’m allowed to rest. I’m allowed to take up space. Doing less doesn't make me less worthy.”
You can even repeat that to yourself like a little mantra if it helps.

5. Notice the magic in the small moments.

Being isn’t just about resting on the couch (though hey, that’s great too). It’s about slowing down enough to notice the good stuff - mindful awareness:
The way the sunlight comes through your window.
The taste of your coffee.
The sound of someone laughing in the next room.
These are the moments we miss when we're stuck in go-go-go mode.

Alright, my friends—that’s what I’ve got for you today.

I hope this episode gave you what you need to give yourself permission to slow down, to breathe, and to remember that your worth isn’t measured by how much you do.

Maybe today’s the day you let yourself off the hook a little.
Maybe you close your laptop early.
Maybe you take that nap.
Maybe you just sit and stare out the window for five minutes without feeling like you should be doing something else.

And if that little guilt gremlin shows up?
Just remind yourself:
Being is enough.
Rest is productive.
And caring for your body, mind, and spirit is the work.

If this episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it with a friend who might need the same reminder. Or even better—send them a text and invite them to do nothing with you sometime soon. I promise it’ll be worth it.

Thank you so much for being here. For showing up. For just being you.

Until next time, take good care of yourself. And remember:
You don’t always have to be doing.
Sometimes, just being is the most beautiful thing you can do.

Talk to you soon.