The Puurlee Podcast with Nika Lawrie
Welcome to The Puurlee Podcast with Nika Lawrie!
This podcast is your go-to source for transformative conversations about wellness, personal growth, and living a fulfilling life. Each episode features inspiring guests from a global community of thought leaders, along with expert insights or bite-sized practical tips. These conversations are designed to help you unlock ultimate health, build unstoppable confidence, and take action now toward a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Tune in to discover the stories and solutions that empower you to create the life you’ve always dreamed of.
The Puurlee Podcast with Nika Lawrie
Mastering The Power of Change Through Physical and Spiritual Tools with Kaye Doran
Kaye is an entrepreneur, facilitator, speaker, women’s leadership and life coach, shamanic healer, and creator of Inner Expressions, helping women realize their leadership from within.
An unshakable optimist, she lives with a foot in both worlds – physical and spiritual, working with her unique blend of gifts in connection, knowing, shamanic energy sound healing, and accredited master life coaching. She empowers women to bring them back to the Source of who they truly are so they can become the person they most desire to be. She has been working with women for three decades – and working on herself longer. Her motto is “the power of change is in your hands.”
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Hey, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you here.
Kaye Doran:Thank you, I'm excited to be here. I love these kinds of conversations. They're the best right.
Nika Lawrie:You just get to connect and hear new things and I love it so I'm excited to have you here. So you have been working with women for the last 30 years or so in kind of a coaching, healing capacity. Can you talk me through like your backstory and how you got into that and how you got to where you are today?
Kaye Doran:Wow, yeah. So you know, long story short, this sort of called me. It's not something that I necessarily sat back and put my hand up and chose, and probably all started really because of a car accident when I was about 18. Physical pain that no one was able to really address. My mother, bless her, back in the time, said why don't you go learn to meditate? Because that'll deepen the breath, because living in pain all the time is stressful. And I learned to meditate with my eyes open, which is a powerful technique.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, I had a I suppose you'd call it a spiritual experience. I sort of met my God. You know I'd always been I don't have to put that word so you can replace it, anyone in your audience can replace it spirit, whatever, it doesn't matter. But I met my God, eyes wide open, and I suppose that sort of sent me on a journey of exploration. I'd always had an internal voice my whole life that had guided me. And, yeah, one thing led to another.
Kaye Doran:I was traveling around Australia with my first husband and my child at the time, who was one. I found myself just walking down a street in Cairns, in the tropics, and just going up this staircase and my husband's like what are you doing? And I'm like I don't really know. And this woman came out. I ended up in this beautiful little sort of bookshop and this woman came out she'd been with a client and we sort of locked eyes and she said, oh, you're here to see me, a client. And we sort of locked eyes and she said, oh, you're here to see me. And I'm like I suppose I am the most profound reading. And she said all this stuff to me and she described rooms I'd stayed in, things I'd gone through, and then what was to come and that was you know, you'll be working with lots of people, your phone, you'll write a book, you'll do this. And I'm like, oh, I can't see that. Yeah, the final words she said to me were you've got this incredible ear and you don't really listen. So anyway, I came out and was quite blown away because of being so descriptive and so detailed about previous things. So it led me on a journey. Basically, I was walking the street and I was recapping to my husband and when I said about this incredible ear, that voice I've heard internally all my life said don't you realize I'm guiding you? Oh, my gosh. And I just stopped. And it was just that knowing moment yeah, I mean like so that led me on a journey to, you know, want to continue to meditate and explore and and and learn more.
Kaye Doran:And I got involved with a group where the guy really didn't know what he was doing and, long story short, got us involved with Ouija board one night and all this stuff was happening and his children were getting disturbed and he lost his cool and he just turned around to me and said you take over? Oh my gosh, yeah, and I'm like what? Yeah, anyway, I could voice train and it just told me how to clean everything up and I decided then that wasn't the group for me, yeah, and people decided that wasn't the group for them either and they asked if they could come to my house and do meditation and things sort of grew from there and it kept getting bigger. And I'm doing a really quick sort of story here, the thing you know, I'm basically being booked for talks and I kept seeking out other teachers who I experienced not everyone in that field is as loving as they say they are and I experienced bullying, really, and it was beautiful because it forced me back to keep listening to this voice that was guiding me and teaching me.
Kaye Doran:And then a healing modality started, because I'm a shamanic healer as well, yeah, and it sort of bring doubt into working. You know, doing some stuff corporately one-on-one I'm very eclectic, so there was sort of that business side that got taken into corporate, in mindset and empowering ourselves, because leadership for me sort of is that internal leadership. And, yeah, it grew. Then I had another company take me on as a wealth coach and I did sort of the mindset aspects and they ran women's retreats and and it really just sort of grew from there. So, and then people would come to me also then for that coaching element. So it was a mix of doing the energy work, meditation, which to me is a foundation of all change, and sort of all the mindset and I just have that knack of knowing what's going on for individuals.
Kaye Doran:So then incorporating everything that I'm taught and I'm qualified as a master life coach, I'm qualified as a trainer, but I actually gave it up after about 20 years and just put it to the side, as I had a calling in my 40s to go out into the workforce and I think it was because I needed to grow, I needed a challenge and I spent 10 years out in the workforce I moved sort of into management and sales and team building and again experienced a lot of bullying from teams, from upper management and so and I kept moving and progressing quite quickly. My husband always said to me gosh, I think you're making up for 20 or 30 years that you haven't worked out the workforce. Yeah, but it. It got me to a place where I got stuck in my comfort zone and I betrayed my values and I came up with excuses. You know why? Because I knew in one of the last roles I was in where upper management was bullying me. I knew that I needed to get out. Yeah, I knew that I was, but it was a big job.
Kaye Doran:I was up early, I was out at the airport looking after seven locations, 50 plus staff, long, long hours and I kept saying I need to go and I need to do it on my terms. But I never actually sat down. I had all the excuses as to why I couldn't look for the next job I'm so quiet and finally they got me out by creating my role to be redundant. And you know what that was a blessing. One I got a payout. Two, my health had taken a turn. I'd put on 20 kilos, which had never happened to me before, and really I didn't get a job for about 11 months. And it was the best thing that could have happened, because I really started to come back and take control.
Kaye Doran:I hired a personal trainer got my health right. I had a lot of opportunity to go. You know what? I'm in my 50s now and I saw what I'd done. I saw where I'd got stuck. I'd be teaching this stuff as well, but it can happen to the best of us. But, yeah, you know, it can happen to the best of us. And I really broke down and examined what I'd done to myself in um, in not living the life that I love, right right, in getting stuck, in not pushing myself past that comfort zone. And you know, I got involved with a multi-level marketing company and then I got a coach because I basically said help me build this business. I don't want to be at the mercy of you know, something like this again. And then, when I get this business running, maybe then I can come back into the thing that I'm passionate about, which is transformation and empowering people, and maybe, you know, then I could build it into a coaching business. And she coached me once and she went off. For God's sake, hey, you are a coach.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, I found myself. You know, coming back to what I love. I had another role then. I'd mastered all the bullying stuff. I had a great team of women that I was training and coaching and developing in sales and presentation and you know things.
Kaye Doran:Something had to give because I was doing my daytime job, I was being coached, I was rebuilding my coaching and doing coaching and developing programs and things like that, and I knew that it would have to give at some point. And then COVID came and my role was made redundant. Just at the time I'm thinking I think I need to, you know, give up the day job. And and it was like, okay, you know, universe has spoken and here I am back, full-time, doing what I love, well and truly, armed with more skills and, I think, even more relatable to the women that I work with, after going back out and being in that workforce and and experiencing that, you know, if I'd just been doing all of this for 30 years, I think there'd be a moment where some women would go, yeah, but you don't know about this because you've run your own business for 30 years.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I really honed in on the women that I wanted to work with were the women that I'd become back, you know, getting wanting to create a change in a particular area of life, getting stuck, coming up with the excuses, the unconscious starting to rule and that self-betrayal, and I thought, no, this is really where I want to help women in particular, because it happens to all of us. We all want to create a change and the process is the same. It doesn't matter if it's in health and wellbeing or finances or relationships, or your job or business or career. It's all the same process to be able to get and make it happen.
Nika Lawrie:Absolutely. Why do you think so many of us get stuck, you know, in the kind of daily routine and are scared to go beyond our comfort zone? Why do you think that's such a difficult thing for people?
Kaye Doran:And, yeah, a lot of people actually start off, like you know we're in the new year and all those new year resolutions, yeah, yeah, and they live in well, but usually when we want to create a change in a particular area of our life, it means we're going to have to grow. You know, like we're aspiring to that change. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, that goal. Um, now, a lot of people they're never action. Some people start to action and then get stuck because it's a little bit like having a double elastic band around us. So I've got the elastic band around the familiar where I am right now, and then I start to move, and then I'm going to move beyond, where it feels really comfortable and and I don't know who I am in that state, and so you know the elastic band to the new is pulling you towards that, but then the old one gets incredibly tight.
Kaye Doran:Now that's at the moment where all the unconscious false stories and beliefs start to really arc up and play out, and that's when we come up with the excuses like I haven't got time, I haven't got the money. You know, I don't know enough, right, I'm not good enough. Whatever it might be, it will you know, it will all just be the excuses that are actually being fed by those unconscious stories and beliefs, and then they're designed to hold us in what feels familiar and safe. Sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say you stay in the familiar and safe too long and it's really not the comfort zone. It's a really uncomfortable place to be and it's where we flatline.
Nika Lawrie:I love that actually, because the comfort zone really can be super depressing and sad and hard and a struggle and uncomfortable. So it is funny that it is called the comfort zone. That's a good point. So you also talk about asking what our subconscious is always saying yes to. Can you explain what this means and how to identify those yeses, or what we always saying yes to? Can you explain what this means and how to identify those yeses or what we're saying yes to?
Kaye Doran:Yeah, well, the subconscious is basically saying yes to everything, and we've got two ways to guide it. We've got the unconscious, which predominantly rules until we become consciously aware of it, and then we've got what's termed the super conscious, but I like to term that the voice of our knowing. People will call it intuition. I prefer to call it knowing because to me that's like the stake in the ground. Yeah, I know, yeah, yes, whereas intuition people sort of talk about, oh, it's that ethereal kind of intangible thing. Yeah, if you, my voice of knowing, you know it's taking real ownership of that and it's full of our power and potential. So the subconscious is going yes, so you feel like you're not good enough? Great, let's create something in your life so you can respond from not feeling good enough. Right, so it's, it's creating everything that we're sort of basically asking of it, right, right.
Kaye Doran:The key is to understand that when we're getting past our comfort zone, that one, all those stories are false, they're not real. We've got to stop associating as though they're real. They feel real in the emotional body, but they're actually. They're false stories and non-truths. Right, right, right. And now, if we listen to that and we let that guide our subconscious, knowingly, we've basically put ourself in the passenger seat of life. We're not driving, that is, instead of going. You know what? The more I develop that knowing, the more I listen to that guidance, the more I follow that, the more I feed that. That is then directing the subconscious to our desired experiences and outcomes that we aspire to.
Nika Lawrie:So you also talk about personal leadership. Does that relate into being your own personal leader? Is that the kind of concept yeah, personal.
Kaye Doran:That's exactly what leadership is for me where we can all lead ourselves from within, where we can all lead ourselves from within. So, understanding how the mind works, you know, understanding how the emotions work, understanding that energetic, spiritual element of us and that internal voice Now, that internal voice of knowing, or intuition, if you like to call it, is actually coming from a future, now, moment. So it's coming from an aspect of us that's basically saying hey, come, you've already done it, like Nick, create a podcast, right. So you get that idea. That's actually coming from the part of you that's already created it and successful in it.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I love, yeah, I mean, I love that I know for me. One of the one of the quotes I remember seeing was I can't remember I know for me. One of the one of the quotes I remember saying was um I I can't remember exactly what it is, but it's if you want to rise, first you have to be quiet, or it's something along those lines. And the idea is that if you want to rise above something or create something, you first have to be still and quiet and and connect with their knowing, connect with that voice in your head or your God, or whatever it is, to get the answers you need to push you in the right direction.
Kaye Doran:And that's why I think at the beginning, before we were recording, I was saying you know, meditation for me is that absolute root system of the beginning of all change, because in there we get to command our own energy and know what our own energy feels like and most people don't. And we are energetic beings, you know, this has been proven. Yes, All things are energy and we're always interacting with our environment and the people around us. So a lot of people don't even realize that a lot of their thoughts and feelings may not actually be their own Right, yeah, that we're coming into others and the environment around us. So when I take people through meditation and I start talking about that, so much change already starts to happen when they implement some of that, because they start to know what their own energy feels like, their own thoughts, their own feelings and then they know when they're being encroached upon by an outside source.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, so you can come back to that. And then it's the witness and that sort of turning our vision inwards and sort of that going within and yet amplifying that voice of knowing or that intuitive voice, or whatever you like to call it, so that we utilize that to direct the subconscious. So the subconscious is saying yes to that, not yes to the you can't, you haven't got time, you're not good enough. Don't know enough, you know whatever it might be enough. Don't know enough, you know whatever it might be.
Nika Lawrie:And I think it's important too, because you can use at least in my experience, you can use the connection with the knowing or that power to really just give you the baby steps, like what is the next right thing to do, what is the next baby step I need to take to get closer to what I really want, or what the ultimate goal is you're working towards, or you know even as silly as what to eat for lunch, kind of a thing. It gives you that kind of clarity. It is, yeah, really, really a beneficial tool.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, I hear you definitely and I've utilized it because of my shamanic healing side as well in in processes in my coaching. So you know, one of my clients is up leveling her business and she's the mum to three young kids and she's now taking on some employees. And you know there was a process where, um, something old came up for her, an old unconscious belief, and there are many ways that we can sort of start to dissolve this. And sometimes you just need to go. I'm putting that in the passenger seat and I'm driving anyway. People sometimes they use that moment as an excuse oh, I need to go heal this, I need to go and see someone to change this. No, you don't Just be aware that it's your old unconscious pattern. Put it in the passenger seat and you keep taking action. It's there because you're actually about to grow. There are other times where you do, you do need to sort of pull it out like a little bit of a root system.
Kaye Doran:So I got this woman to actually go into a meditative place and she actually then projected and spoke to the part of her that didn't let that belief hold her back Right and she saw where this aspect was of her confident walking on a stage and talking to a lot of people. So I got her to watch her and you know, what did her body feel like? What did everything feel like, smell like, taste like, and then she actually asked for you know, some bit of guidance on. You know, what's your advice for me, since you didn't take on that belief back here, and this is where you've ended up and this is how you're feeling. What's your advice?
Kaye Doran:And it's every time I do this with myself or with others. It's so powerful. You know, just one thing was said to her, you know, just don't listen to 50% of it. And then in the, in the meditation, she's like what? And herself don't listen to 50% of it. Yeah, and then she came out and she got it and she had aligned herself then with that aspect and she felt fired up again, she felt confident, she knew what she was moving toward.
Nika Lawrie:I love that that's it what I mean, yeah.
Kaye Doran:I mean it's such a.
Nika Lawrie:It's such a powerful tool to create your own transformation, to really take that control into your own hands. And she was listening to her own advice. Yeah, what an odd thing to do instead of yeah, listening to other people. Absolutely. Does this play into? You also talk about the importance of setting boundaries with different areas of your life? Does this play into the same kind of thing as understanding the guidance that you get from the knowing to set those boundaries?
Kaye Doran:Yes, yes, and generally what I do is I get people to do what I term sort of a time audit, you know. So they they track everything they're doing for a couple of weeks from oh, I've just suddenly checked Facebook again or I've, you know, I'm distracted, everything. And it's amazing because people suddenly go oh my god, I can't believe how much time I'm wasting. Yeah, so then you take that time and then you, we look at every area of someone's life and we set boundaries and something. You know that people think the boundaries, uh, I will let you do this or I won't, do you know I mean not about this, but another part is allocating time so that we can actually have it all.
Kaye Doran:Yes, yeah, when you reclaim that time and you go, you know what my boundary is. For example, meditation is really important to me for my wellbeing, health and wellbeing. So instead of going I haven't got time, I've got all this extra time here I'm going to set a boundary and say I'm going to meditate minimum of three times a week, minimum for 15 minutes. Do you know? So we, all we have to do to honor ourself is it's not the length of time, it's the fact that we've honored it. Yes, yeah, even if it's. And if we set the minimum, if we set the boundary around the minimum, you're free to go over that, but you, you can commit to that. Like it might be a 10 minute walk, you know, four times a week minimum.
Kaye Doran:And then you start to see the possibility and the same thing sort of around your finances, around relationships, and then women find that we actually do have enough time to have it all Time for self, time for others, time for relationships. And we also work out what are the stabilizers in life. So the stabilizers are the things that are as important to us as the air we breathe and the water that we need to stay alive, and these are the things that women generally discard and this is what creates the overwhelm. So stabilizers for me definitely a meditation, it's definitely exercise, journaling and time for connection with friends or family, or yeah. Yeah, now there's things that it's like okay. So I'm very clear and I set my boundaries around. They are my stabilizers. So when I give them up, I'm dropping the ball in life. Do you know what I mean?
Nika Lawrie:because they're the things sustain me so each individual is going to have their own stabilizers correct? Yeah?
Kaye Doran:yeah, but it's the things you look now. These are the things that, um, when I was running a group the other year, um, and when it went through the christmas break, I, the first time we came back, I'm like who dropped the ball? Because I knew everyone would have, and they put their hand and it's routine changes, right, whenever routine changes, we need to revisit our boundaries in these, in these given areas, because a lot of them then don't work. They've got children, so they take the break with the kids, and then it all becomes about the kids and everything's, you know, and it's when they maintain their stabilisers regardless, and if these are the non-negotiables in our lives, then they actually get through those breaks less stressed at the end of it.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I think that's something that's really been present during COVID as well. With people being home, we don't have our normal you know, get up, get dressed, go to work, that whole kind of routine and so people have really lost their routine, when it comes to their health and wellness as well, simply because they don't have those same expectations from their career.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, and I think again, the key is when anything changes, we need to revisit our boundaries. Do you know what I? Mean. And the boundaries are also like in relationship what. What will I accept, what won't I like in my career, the boundary became I will no longer put myself in a position, right, where I'm treated like that. I don't care whether they're a general manager or a you know, or or staff. It's like these are now. They're my boundaries, right?
Kaye Doran:yeah, I trade myself for the sake of a dollar yes, you know yeah, yeah, but again, when anything changes, that's when we need to come back and reassess our boundaries. And COVID was a great one, because it just completely threw everybody. Everything dramatically changed, yeah, um, which had to force the change internally, and the people that haven't done that examination and the change, and, oh my god, what now? Yeah, you know, tapped in for that personal leadership and that guidance of well, how do I now adapt to the life that is before me? Yeah, don't again. Everything's just blurred. It's like pieces of straw blowing in the wind or an absolute mess. You know, gather them up and bind them and you've got a dart that can kill a mighty beast. But everything's just, it's just mixed.
Nika Lawrie:If it's all just floating around unaddressed, right and it's interesting I've seen, you know it seemed like I don't know about where you're at, but it seemed like a lot of people here in the states at at least you know the. So I know it's opposite seasons for us. For us it was spring and summer. So you know, starting kind of March, going through probably September-ish people were really holding on to. You know, this is hard, this is difficult. You know my routine's messed up, they hadn't really mentally made that shift yet.
Nika Lawrie:And then, kind of September, october-ish, people are like all right, we really are in this for the long haul. We have to really start to figure out what our lives are going to look like and how to get routines back in. And so I've seen a lot of people make the shift of like this is the new normal, at least for a while, and so I need to get back into those routines. And I feel like the people that have made those shifts or attempted to make those shifts or set those kind of new boundaries, have really moved into the new year a lot more joyful or with more hope, more joyful or with more hope. And the people who still haven't made those boundaries yet or aren't willing to kind of let go yet and understand that it's the new normal, still feel kind of stuck or suffocated or disconnected.
Kaye Doran:But you see, how easily influenced we are by the external. Yeah, the very nature is when something changes. A lot of the time on mass, mass people are hoping that will just go away. Yes, because you know, we really do have to realize the. The power is in our hands, it's within us.
Kaye Doran:Yes, and again, all that unconscious fear stuff can come up. And you know what fear to me is a signpost. We're getting in the right direction. You know, when suddenly you get that idea and then the fear starts to follow, it's basically say, you know what I'm, you are heading in the right direction, but you're going to have to grow, you're going to have to change, you know, yeah, and so the people that finally do, they come to accept okay, so this is the new norm for now, and we don't know how long and adapt. They've broken that old elastic band that familiar. They would have had a really uncomfortable moment and they've just continued to lean in and face it to change it for themselves. So nothing externally changed in terms of COVID still there, but they changed something internally through different lenses and go right, absolutely, now what do I do? Yeah, but it takes a while because it is that comfort zone and it is that, oh, hopefully this will all just suddenly disappear, until we learn we have to adapt.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I love talking about changing our lens, you know, looking at it differently, taking a new kind of perspective at what's going on, and identify that well, this is a huge challenge and extraordinarily difficult for everyone across the planet that there also are a lot of benefits that have come with it. You know we've had quality time with our immediate families at least, or we've had time to. You know, binge TV if that's what we wanted to do, or, you know, take time to cook or things like that. There are fun things that have come out of it, and so I think really changing that perspective is beneficial.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, and I think it connects people because everyone in it across the globe yeah, yeah, that's been an amazing part of it definitely is to understand kind of our roles and how we are connected with everybody around around the planet yeah, and I, too, love those conversations around lenses, because it really is about a choice of how you look at right, right, you know, and that that's a choice to start examining the beliefs we have, the, the thoughts that we have, the patterns patterns of how we respond and we can actually choose to change all of that. So, yeah, you know when, when this first happened, covid, and it's like we can actually choose to change all of that. So you know when this first happened, covid, and it's like we'll use this as the example. Oh, my God, this is so terrible. This is so terrible If we just start to go. You know what? This doesn't make sense to me.
Kaye Doran:But what's the opportunity in this? The gift is this for me and I've had people when I've asked questions there is no gift and it's like, just, you don't have to answer it right now, but take that a little bit deeper. Everyone comes up with an answer for themselves Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah, and that is by making the choice, asking ourself the question to go. I'm just going to look at this differently. What's the opportunity? Mm-hmm to go.
Kaye Doran:I'm just going to look at this differently. What's the opportunity, If in this for me that I can't yet stay right now?
Nika Lawrie:I think that plays into the language we use and you talk about using or creating a powerful language and then also creating a power statement, so it kind of it. It kind of plays into that. Can you talk a little bit about why it's so important to have powerful language and a power statement?
Kaye Doran:Well, again, everything's energy. So, you know, everything has a vibrational frequency to it and it either uplifts, you know, expands or contracts it. And anyone knows that when you start, you know, making powerful statements and things, you actually, you know, we start to grow into that. Um, it has to have power for the individual. So a lot of people have said to me oh, affirmations don't work, like I know they don't, okay, why not? Well, one, we say too many of them, right, yeah, yeah, so it's like watering everything down, yeah, uh, you know, if you're going to go for the center of the dartboard, go for the center of the dartboard, you know, hit that goal.
Kaye Doran:Second one is we use too much filler language. Now, we know that a word can harm or it can hit, it can make another person feel small or feel more. So we know that language has power and words have power, right, right, it's also about so much of what we are after. It's actually not a lot of things. So, if you can create power statements and never have more than about five or six, right, because, again, that covers everything that you desire. Now, here's the thing I've come to understand, because I've worked with this for a really long time that it's really powerful to go. I choose, therefore, I am.
Kaye Doran:And the I am, is that divine essence? It's all that there is. So if you say I choose to live a life I love, that's my stake in the ground, that's the ownership you can feel it. When you say I choose to live a life I love, therefore I am living a life I love, do you see the power in that? I'm choosing it, therefore I'm living it.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, yeah, definitely yeah, and I think it helps kind of shift again that perspective again.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, yeah. And then the aim is you know, know. In the morning I would say, I choose. Therefore I am then throughout the rest of the day, it's just, I am, you know, and then going off to bed at night. I'll lay there and I'm a genius supplying my wisdom. I'm intelligent and I find it easy to learn. You know, I retain information easily. Um, I'm trim, tone, fit, fabulous and flexible.
Kaye Doran:You know whatever yeah, yeah and and because you've only got five and they're like just nailing every area of my life, um, that's got power to it. If I do more than five or so, I start to water it down does that make sense?
Nika Lawrie:yes, definitely, yeah. Yeah, that sense? Yes, definitely, yeah, yeah.
Kaye Doran:And it gets us to look at what am I really, what am I really after here? You know, what am I really saying? Right, because a lot of people will write it out. It's like, well, god, do you need all those words? Yeah, yeah, what are you really saying? What are you really going for?
Kaye Doran:Um, and then, when it has power, it has a little bit of a spark that happens within us, so it's aligning us almost electrically to that statement, and then it creates a feeling, right. And then if we can create like a short movie in our mind, you know, like when you watch a movie and you see the trailer and it's all the best bits, mm-hmm, you go basically the trailer, I saw the whole movie, right, if we do that for the life that we're wanting to create and the outcomes that we want, and we've got the power statements, that sort of, oh, you know, give us that, that bit of a buzz. And then you create a little bit of a movie trailer, just with all the key bits in it, that actually then starts to fire up the emotional body to align with the um and the mindset.
Nika Lawrie:You know, cause you've got the words, you've got the imagery, you've got the feelings starting, yeah, absolutely, yeah, I it reminds me of I can't remember the gentleman who does it, but there's another coach who talks about kind of um, deep diving into knowing your why, and it's really about pulling out all the excess and really getting specific about those kind of statements, and he does a. It's a seven question kind of backwards question. So basically what it is is you know, you ask like you know, what do you want in life? And then the person gives an answer and then you ask the person kind of the same answer but you ask back well, why do you want that? And you continue to do that cycle seven times till you get to the real deep root, and it's usually just a word or two. It's like freedom or joy or love or something like that, and so it's a tool that might help people reach those clarity statements or those power statements.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, yeah, and I have. I turned a one-day workshop called Power Up your Life into a free resource on my website.
Kaye Doran:And that's great. I've got the workbook and then you've got some videos with me working you through it. But there are these questions and things that you ask yourself to actually find out where some of your beliefs have come from. Um, and you know the limiting stuff, the limiting beliefs, the limiting statements, you know. And it's never a blame game. It's more like, oh my god, okay, this is where I got this from. So then you can create the direct opposite in your power statements, and so it's a little bit like learning to understand and recognize what's in that unconscious, because once you become conscious of it, then you can start to change it.
Nika Lawrie:You also have a 12-week group coaching program as well. Does this play into that program, or what does that program look like?
Kaye Doran:Yes, so that program basically for 12 weeks. So you do the trainings on the Mondays, the pre-recorded trainings, and then we all get together on Zoom and I only take eight women at a time in the group because I don't want people to get lost. You're right, they have the value, the support and a space and a platform for them to be heard and seen so that they can have their transformation. But we look at all these different areas. We look at where we're limiting ourselves in the way that we're thinking and speaking and actioning. We gain the understanding of the mind and how that's influencing us, where we're at a particular point in our growth process, so that you can actually lean in and keep actioning. So I say, getting back into the driver's seat, not use it, and part of it is just the understanding of that cycle, you know, and the reclaiming of the time and the resetting of the boundaries. And as we go through the unfolding of this, it's more and more that the women start to align with oh, my God, I can have a life I love, I can have that and that and have my family, time and quality and my business or my profession and my fitness. Do you know what I mean we actually can.
Kaye Doran:People are always saying, well, I can't now that I'm a mother, or I can't because of the job that I've got. Yeah, we can, yeah, yeah. And you know, sometimes the transformation is also just the understanding of, okay, fear's there for a reason. You're getting ready to grow. So then it becomes your friend, it's your signpost, it's not your enemy, right, right, you know what I mean.
Kaye Doran:And then also learning that we have set capacities for allowing and deserving, and we start to also examine that and where the tipping point comes in. So if we've got a set capacity, for example with money reprogrammed within us, then every time you go past that capacity, you're going to find a reason to get rid of more money to bring you back to that set capacity, right? So you know you quite often hear people going oh my God, I get so far and then it's gone. Well, the same thing within a relationship with your capacity to connect and your capacity for love. That's when suddenly you know someone goes.
Kaye Doran:I don't know. We just ended up in this argument it's all over nothing. Yeah, not with the fact that you needed to bring yourself back. So we examine the tipping points as well, so that you know you can expand your capacity points as well, so that you know you can expand your capacity for more. Very consciously, um and this is this is what I did when I went back out into the workforce, you know I ended up in retail and then it's like, oh my god, it's exhausting in retail and hours and then I'm like it's not paying me enough, I'm no longer going to work weekends.
Kaye Doran:You know, I started to reset and then I expanded my capacity for more and each role I went into it kept then fitting that new capacity. So in the end it's like, oh, I'm going to play with this some more. Right, I'm going for this amount, I will not work weekends and I'm going to get a car thrown in. And in my last three jobs I had a vehicle for a vehicle allowance amazing yeah it's.
Nika Lawrie:It's interesting to kind of set those. They're kind of goals, slash boundaries, like what your, what your minimum expectations are, in a sense yeah and you expand it and you don't blow it out.
Kaye Doran:When people go to blow it out, it's a little bit like this okay, here's a great way to put it. If you're going to have a game of tennis, right, you don't want to play with someone, that's. That's really below your skill set, because you already go on there going well, there's no point trying. I'm right, I've got this. Do you know what I mean?
Nika Lawrie:there's no fun in that, because it's always good to be like planning for one or two steps ahead of where you're at, so that it's challenging and interesting, yet still attainable, and you don't just run in the other direction and this is why you don't blow it out too big, because if I was getting on or you were getting on that court with a professional tennis player, you would step on there already defeated, wouldn't you?
Kaye Doran:yeah, I have a hope in hell of winning this match. Yeah, so don would step on there already defeated, wouldn't you? Yeah, I have a hope in hell of winning this match. Yeah, so don't go on there with any oomph in you, because you've already given up before you start. But if you play someone that's a little bit better than you, but you've got that chance. You go on that court and you play full out, because there is that possibility. I can pull this off.
Nika Lawrie:Absolutely. I think that's such a good mindset for entrepreneurs as well, simply because a lot of times you see people who are like I'm going to shoot for a seven-figure business and if I don't make it I failed, and you go through the first year and you haven't made seven figures, because hardly any businesses make seven figures, especially in the first year. But if you've reached your first 5,000 goal or 10,000 goal or 50,000 goal or whatever it is, those are really great goals to hit and so, understanding that you know you don't have to just blow it out, like you say, you know you can kind of make it more attainable.
Kaye Doran:It's so powerful that you say that too, because a lot of people are also setting big, audacious goals, but they're not their own goals. Yes, and that's what we find out too in the coaching. It's like you know, so many people have then gone and changed something because it wasn't their goal to begin with. It's actually coming from mum or from dad, or some expectation or for someone else. Oh, that's what success means. And a lot of people that have gone for seven-figure incomes, if they actually really examine it, is that what you really really desire? Yeah, you think, as an entrepreneur and a business, that that's what you should be achieving to be successful.
Nika Lawrie:And, I think, also taking a moment to understand. You know what. It's not just the joy or the excitement or the money that comes from making seven figures, but you also understand the flip side of that, or what are some of the negative things that come with that. Did you lose your health in the process? Did you lose relationships in the process? Did you lose your freedom because you're working 80 hours a week in the process? You hear people who became celebrities very quickly, overnight. They found that the chaos that comes from being a celebrity was not something they actually wanted and you see a lot of them kind of retract and move back into a more personal life because they didn't like all the other things that came with celebrity. So, looking at the flip side of it.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, absolutely, really important, because when people are creating the life they aspire to, you need to. I get people to write what I term a life script. So say, for example, it's the 5th of January 2022 and I'm writing a letter, and so I'm writing you a letter and I'm talking about already you know some life script, as if I've already lived it and done it.
Kaye Doran:Now the interesting thing is here people romanticise the creation of their life, right? So like a relationship, oh my God, and it's so wonderful and we're like the perfect couple and we're soulmates. Soulmates, by the way, can really trigger each other. That's real fact. But you know, it's all the romantic sort of stuff. And I'll say to them well, how do you argue? What do you mean? And I'm like well, most couples at times all have disagreements.
Kaye Doran:Can you write in your life script about how you face those challenges? How well do you communicate, like, let's get the reality in there. Or you know what about the challenges that you face that year, rather than just those successes? How did you face the challenges? What strengths did you pull out of yourself, you see? So we've got to actually create in the life that we want and the outcomes that we want, the whole picture, the light and the shadow, absolutely. And that's where people go a cropper, because it's all the romanticised areas of their life.
Kaye Doran:If you've only ever been earning $80,000 and you're now going, oh, I'm going to go for seven-figure income, that's a lot of growth you have to go through. That's a lot of learning, like, be careful. What you ask for, girl? Absolutely yeah, because to get there you've had an 80,000 capacity and now you're going. So how much are you going to have to change? How much are you going to have to learn? How much are you going to have to grow? It's not always comfortable. You know, yeah, you've given birth to a baby. You know that it's yeah, yeah.
Kaye Doran:So I think you know encouraging people to look at their life from the light and from the shadow, that's a great way to put it yeah, and you know it's like when everyone goes oh my God, this year was such a shit of a year, but I go. But you say that every year. What are you waiting for? You're waiting for no challenges Are you waiting for? In other words, you don't want to grow, you want a flat line, you want to stay in your comfort zone, but after a while that's not comfortable.
Nika Lawrie:Right with the calling from the voice of knowing you know and it's funny because you people all the time talk about not wanting these challenges you know they just want to have an easy life and do all these things, but then you look at an example is people have been able to sit on their couch and binge, watch TV and hang out and not really have to do anything, and they're miserable and they want to go out and they want to do things and they want to learn things. Well, doing things and learning things and experiences also are challenges, and so really understanding that easy and simple isn't always the right answer.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, and if you look back throughout your life I always say this to people where have you faced a challenge like this before? And then, how did it feel when you overcame it? See people's bodies, like you can see the power come into them. It was amazing and I go. So this is the pattern. You overcome it and then you feel amazing, right, what a challenge, absolutely. And then we feel amazing Well, then the next cycle is going to have to happen, right? That's what I love, the same as in my program and in my coaching, I'm teaching people tools and the cycle of creating change so that they can go away going. This is going to come around again, you know, because I'm going to aspire to another, another area that I want to change. So, okay, it's a little bit like a roadmap, right? You know what I mean. Yeah, oh, okay. So, oh, I've had this idea to do something. I'm starting to do it. Now fear's taking over. I know exactly where I am. I know exactly what's happening. I've been here before.
Nika Lawrie:And because you've done that, you have tools in your back pocket that you can pull out to kind of overcome those challenges. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, but part of the thing is that acceptance of these are the cycles that we have, and we have them because we feel amazing then when we grow beyond where we've been before and we face that challenge. Right, what's the challenge? Or is it just an opportunity?
Nika Lawrie:absolutely, yeah, yeah, it's that shift again.
Kaye Doran:It's that mindset. Mindset shift Absolutely.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah. Do you offer tools or resources that that individuals can use to kind of help start on this journey of making this kind of transformation, and where can listeners connect with you online?
Kaye Doran:Yes, well, either on Facebook or go to my website I actually have so K-A-Y-E-D-O-R-A-Ncom. There I've got the Power Up your Life workshop, which is great, and again, that workbook you can just keep revisiting. I've had women that have done that workshop when I was running it here in Perth, six, seven, eight times. So you know you can keep asking the same questions and delving deeper and deeper and deeper. But the thing is, have the desire to do the change. They can also then go on and I've got three guided meditations there.
Kaye Doran:Remember I said meditation is the beginning of it all. It's the foundation of it all, because it's that learning to turn our vision inwards. It's like plugging into the source. It amps up that connection to our voice of knowing, power and potential. It's where we get to examine the lenses that we're wearing. I call it turning the vision back in on ourselves and also to master our mind. Master our mind because our mind goes to where our energy's at. A lot of people are like I keep going back to when Dad did this, because that's where your energy is Right. So you start commanding back to be in the here and now.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I think it adds it's a piece of control that you then have that you can really, yeah, take charge of.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, absolutely, and listen to that wisdom that's within every single one of us. Absolutely, and that's so important because you know we've been talking about goals and things and you know taking action and all the rest of it why. You know you were talking about the why. The thing that people get stuck on is the how, absolutely, and that's another one of those excuses to keep us locked into non-action. Yeah, the whole thing here is you don't need to know the how. That's where that intuitive, that guided, knowing voice comes in. Right, right, we follow that. Do you know what I mean? You just need to know the end result. You need to know the steps to take.
Nika Lawrie:I think that goes back to that listening to the knowing is it'll give you the next right step, it'll give you the answer to the next baby step. So if you don't know what it is, just pause for a moment and ask and listen and yeah, yeah, and I think the first thing for listeners is you know, dare to live the life you deserve.
Kaye Doran:You know we all have the right to live a life we love. Yeah, someone else that might be really big stuff and big dollars and big homes and all the rest of it. You know, someone said to me the other day Kay, if you won the $30 million, would you move house? And I went no, yeah, instantly, like no, I'd do some renovations and but I love my home, I don't need the great, big grand, I mean. I mean I'm about to be 56, so I'm getting to the point where I don't want a massive home to look after.
Kaye Doran:But I, you know, when we all examine what is the life that you love like, ask yourself what would a life I love look like? You know, and for me it's not working Mondays, so I can look after my grandson when my daughter's ready to go back to work. Do you know what I mean? So I can catch up with friends. And it's not all the big major dollars, it's not all the you know jet setting stuff. For me it's just a really simple, abundant, connected life with the people around me.
Nika Lawrie:I love that. I used to run a coaching program that I created called Dare to Design, and the whole idea was going through a process to design your own life, and really there was a lot that went into it, but the main idea was to be brave enough to actually design the life you want to live, opposed to living in the passenger seat. So I think that's part of it.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, and if money were no object, if time were no object, without thinking of what could possibly limit you, if fear didn't exist, what would you do?
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, yeah. Well, kay, I have one more question for you, but before I get to that question, I just want to acknowledge you for a moment. The work that you've done to help so many women, the work that you're doing to just make an impact in the world. I think it's truly powerful and truly, truly needed, especially in these days of chaos and overstimulation and kind of everyone overworking. I think it's such a great thing and I just want to say thank you to you for everything that you're doing. Thank you so much.
Kaye Doran:Can I give one tip? Yes, or, at the end of it, fear. Fear is the thing that grabs hold of people, and this has really just come to mind. So I feel like it's important to share. People don't know what to do with that fear. Okay, they see it as a negative, so therefore it becomes a negative, and when something's a negative, people are trying to suppress it. We've got to get rid of that. We've got to get rid of that. We've got to get rid of that, right, okay. So I don't believe in getting rid of anything. I believe everything has the right to its existence. Yes, we need to know how to calm it down.
Kaye Doran:So, for anyone that's going through change or they've got fear there that's suppressing them from taking action or moving forwards, this is a really simple yet powerful process. So you can pick someone to do this with, or just a piece of paper get your journal out. Now, if you're doing this with another person, you need to set it up so they're not responding back to you. They're just the person for you to look at in the eyes. Yeah, and then you say this or you write this these are my fears, they're not my truth, and then you're going to name your fears. I'm afraid that my business might continue to grow. I'm afraid that my business won't continue to grow. I'm afraid that I can't lose that I'm at. Whatever it might be right, other person isn't responding, they're just that connection for you. Then you can finish off by saying those were my fears. Now, these are my truths, okay. And then you say the direct opposite yeah, so you've faced the fear, you've actually addressed it, you've gone eyeball to eyeball with it, but you've not fed it right.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, just acknowledged it, and then you can again kind of set it aside and focus on the truth and just again do those little baby steps and move forward.
Kaye Doran:Yeah, yeah, but it's you know. Occasionally I'll sit there and go to my husband. I need to do. These are my fears. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, he doesn't need to say anything, he doesn't need to solve anything, and I'll just say these are my fears. They're not my truth. And then I'll go through the fears. They were my fears. Now, here is my truth. And then it goes into the. I am, you know. Yeah.
Nika Lawrie:I think.
Kaye Doran:Go ahead. Sorry, I was just going to say that when you try to suppress it, that's when it gets louder. When we listen to these aspects of ourself, that's when it quietens down, you know, and you might need to come back and revisit, revisit, but it's a powerful process, but really simple.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I think there's. There's power in actually just saying it to another person as well, even if they're not saying anything back, because you know as powerful as writing and using a journal is, I think saying it out loud, you know. I think that's kind of the power of therapies. Uh, talk, therapy for people is is literally just, it's a release from your body and it's saying it out loud and saying it to another human makes it kind of real in a sense. Suppose you're, you can still suppress it if you're writing it down, right, you can't suppress it if you've told another person, cause it's out there, it's in the world then, and so it's a way to release.
Kaye Doran:I think you do just need to set them up with those guidelines. Yes, yeah, you don't need to solve anything here, you don't need to say anything in return, you just need to be present.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, absolutely, I love that. So my last question for you to me actually play into this, but what advice do you have for someone who wants to make change either in their life, in their community or around the world?
Kaye Doran:Make the decision and then get support. Get support, go find a great coach or whatever it might be. Um, you know when I wanted to excuse me, when I wanted to create change in in you know, um, saying goodbye to those 20 kilos and getting strong, and I went. I went and found an amazing personal trainer, you know, because he knows he knows my body better than I know my body in terms of what I can and what I cannot do. He'll make sure that I do it all the right way. You know, um, the same thing. So find the support, because if you're wanting to create change in an area it means, again, you haven't experienced, yeah, that next level of self, um, yeah, so really get, get the support, the help that you need.
Kaye Doran:All that are healeries or all that are coaches. There's someone that's a guide. Yeah, absolutely, they know the terrain. You know and, um, generally, I always look for people who say how do you find a good coach? And I'll say, well, one, if they're giving you the tools for you to empower yourself and in your life, if they're living it and breathing it themselves. And a good coach or a good healer, which is truly only a guide, will have a coach themselves or a good healer will get the work done themselves. That's what I normally look for, and know that you can do it.
Nika Lawrie:Yeah, I think a good example of how I kind of explain coaching in a sense, or having that kind of thing, is, um, you know, traveling from the base to Machu Picchu or Mount Everest or something like that. People don't tend to do that on their own, they tend to do it with a guide, somebody who has lived it or experienced it and knows the trail, knows the terrain, knows how to get it. You are still making that journey, though You're still putting your foot in front of the next, you know, to get up those hills or up those mountains. The guide is just kind of showing you where to stop along the way or kind of helping you stay on the path so that you don't get totally lost. And so it's still your journey, still your process, but it's just somebody that's lived it and experienced it and can help you kind of make it there a little bit easier.
Kaye Doran:Completely aligned with that statement, because I always used the story years ago when I went to Borneo and I hired someone to take me to the top of the mountain so I could meet with some shamans, which was gorgeous as they were women. I did that journey like I took that journey for myself, but I needed to view the terrain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and here's another. Here's another really interesting tip. People always want the guarantee. You are the guarantee. Yes, do you know what I mean? You are the guarantee. If you're going to play all out, if you want to apply yourself 100, you'll get those results. If you only get onto the field of your life and play at 60, you'll get those results. If you only get onto the field of your life and play at 60%, you'll get 60% results. Absolutely. So you are the guarantee. Yeah, so important to understand.
Nika Lawrie:I love it. It's so true. Yeah, cause the, the guide, will do everything that they can to help get you there, but if you only decide to walk half the distance or 60% of the distance, that was your choice to put in that amount of effort. So, yeah, yeah, absolutely yes. Well, kate, this has been absolutely amazing. I just love your knowledge and experience and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to connect with you.
Kaye Doran:Thank you so much. It's been my pleasure and, like I said, these conversations are important. I definitely, because if I share from my story, it doesn't matter how long you've been the journey. We can all get stuck at times. Absolutely, yeah, yeah.
