Inspired with Nika Lawrie

Managing Self, Health, And The Hustle As A Busy Working Mom with Amber Wise

• Nika Lawrie, Amber Wise • Season 2022 • Episode 21

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Amber Wise is the founder of Wise Fit Life and the founder of FIT Ladies Bootcamp.​ After many years of coaching and mentoring to help her clients have confidence, live authentically, and take back their health, she decided to form an epic community of women where she could show them, in 20 minutes a day, they can have CONFIDENCE and can fit their workouts into their life rather than the other way around!  

Her mission is to come alongside women and to give them the tools they need to reach their goals. She does this through showing up daily and pouring love, wisdom, her story, and her expertise into this amazing community!

Connect with Amber: 
https://wisefitlife.net/

CONNECT WITH NIKA: https://mtr.bio/nika-lawrie

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Nika Lawrie:

Hey and welcome to the show. As always, I am super grateful to have you join me and my wonderful guest today, amber. I am so happy to have you. Thank you for joining me today. Thank you for having me. Yeah, so you have a really inspiring story. Can you talk about some of the challenges that you faced and kind of give us the background story of what led you to where you are today and what you're doing?

Amber Wise:

Right. So where I am today and what I'm doing is I'm a very busy mother of four, military spouse, and I also own my own business where I help women get in shape from the comfort of their home, and so I do an online workout community. But yes, when you, when you hear the background story, it'll be like how did this happen? So, when I was two years old, I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy on the right side of my body, which means basically those brain cells that should control the right side of my body. They didn't work, they're dead, yeah.

Amber Wise:

And so my parents were very upset and the doctor said you know, she'll never run, she's not going to ride a bicycle, she won't swim, she won't have a quote, unquote normal life, yeah, what is normal anyway these days? Yeah, yeah. But that I mean that's how I was raised, and so when other kids were learning to ride bicycles at four or five years old, six years old, I was watching when my three sisters were playing on the playground, running around and having fun. I was sitting, um, or my sisters had to come and hold my hand and carefully walk with me and, um you, just it's. It's very disheartening to grow up feeling different.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, absolutely.

Amber Wise:

I don't think we need a disability to grow up feeling different yeah, you know yeah. I don't think. I don't think a girl that walks with a limp um is the only kid getting picked on in school you know, yeah, yeah.

Amber Wise:

I was. I was getting picked on a lot in school, sorry, um, yeah, you know, kids are mean, teacher they are. I've got four kids and, like, our rule in our house is be nice, yeah, be nice, um, but yeah. So I remember one time, I think I was nine years old. I came home and I was just crying. Kids were bullying me, beating me up because I was different.

Amber Wise:

And my older sister, who was two years older than me, she came to me and she was like what are you so upset about? And I told her I said they just make fun of me, they call me a cripple, they hit me. There is just so terrible, um, and it, you know, it's bad, because when you feel different and again, you don't have to have a disability to feel different, but it's almost like you feel, like you're the problem. And so it was almost shameful to even get those words out to her that this is what they're calling me. And she told me she said Amber, you are normal, there is nothing wrong with you, do not listen to those kids. And I was like I can't even ride a bicycle, I'm not normal. Yeah, yes, you can Come on. I can't even ride a bicycle, I'm not normal. And she's like, yes, you can Come on. And she put me on a bicycle at like nine years old and I like it was a lot of trial and error, but I learned how to ride a bicycle.

Amber Wise:

And from there, yes, from there, it just grew, because I was like what else can I do that? They've been telling me I can't. And so I ended up running a half marathon as an adult, competing in triathlons, having four children, naturally. And then now, yes, I teach women how to get in shape and I record workout videos every day. You know which is hard for anyone to look at their self-workout but and then broadcast it to hundreds of women. But that's so. That's what I do now. And you know, my backstory is why I am who I am and why I want to help women, because we all feel different at times, you know, we all feel like can I do that? You know, I'm not as thin as her, I'm not as strong as her, you know. So I just I always want to encourage women, and I know you said your audience is primarily women, so that you can, like you can, do the hard stuff Absolutely.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, I love I mean. I think it's just such an inspiring story and such a a tell telling story that you know limitations are kind of what we decide they're going to be, it's not a reality, and you know things can change. And what we decide they're going to be, it's not a reality, and you know things can change and anything can happen if you put your mind to it. So I love that you're you're sharing that with people, that you know how far you've come and how strong you've been in in showing up in that sense. So I love it. Thank you for sharing that.

Amber Wise:

Well, thanks, yeah, and our brain is so powerful and we have so many parts of it that aren't being used and yeah, like I mean, you hit the nail on the head, it's like you. Just if you put your mind to it, you can do some pretty amazing things.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely so. I love also. So you're a business owner, a personal trainer and a mother of four, which is just incredible to me because I'm a mother of one and even that is a lot of work.

Amber Wise:

Sometimes it's harder having one than four.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, I kind of wonder about that sometimes. Can you tell me what's your secret behind prioritizing your own health and fitness and managing everything, keeping everything going?

Amber Wise:

Yeah, so I was for the longest time I was a keeping everything going. Yeah, so I was um for the longest time I was a stay at home mom. When I so, my girls are, my kids are, excuse me, 21, 17, 16, and three years old the three-year-old is a boy and he is for sure the surprise. And so when my girls were younger, I was married to another man, obviously, and we, I, was a stay at home mom.

Nika Lawrie:

I was the little 1950s mom, you know, like I did all the things, I loved it.

Amber Wise:

It was great. And then when we started having and I did not take care of myself I cooked dessert every night of the week. I mean everything was beaten potatoes kind of you know make your husband happy kind of thing. Those beaten potatoes kind of you know, make your husband happy kind of thing.

Amber Wise:

And then I went through a terrible divorce and it just took the rug under me and it made me realize there's never a time that you can stop taking care of you Absolutely yeah, yeah. And so that's when I started running, that's when I started weightlifting, that's when I started doing all of these things for my body, and so many people were like, don't you think you should be home with your kids more? And I'm like, it's 30 minutes at the gym, you know. And so I guess my secret is is that I've learned that through self-care, through taking care of my body and my health, I am a much better offer to my kids. I'm just I'm a better mom all the way around and I'm a better wife and I'm and I'm more focused in my business.

Amber Wise:

Actually, you're, I think your focus goes up. I have some notes here. Um, your focus goes up after a 20 minute workout. So, uh, 20, uh. 2010 Harvard study found that 47% of the time, people aren't even thinking about what they're doing, but after a workout, that your ability to focus in on whatever you're doing is better. So I guess what I'm saying in a roundabout way is, when you work out, when you take care of your body. It actually lends you more time, more energy and more focus to do those other things.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely yeah, I think it just it gives you so much more kind of adrenaline and your endorphins are going and it just you have your body like your blood is pumping, you have more oxygen going to your brain and you get so much more clear and focused. It's such a powerful tool that I think is really underutilized or underappreciated. So I love that you're sharing that.

Amber Wise:

Yeah, there's a book called Spark the Science of Exercise and the Brain. It's a great read. If anybody is like is this really going to help me function better in life if I give up 20 minutes of my day to do a workout? Is is it going to pay off? And it is incredible the neuroscience behind working out and your brain.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely so. For kind of busy working moms, how do you suggest they kind of start that path to get fit Like? Do you have any tips, I guess, for people who are struggling time management and want to be able to start incorporating exercise into their daily routine?

Amber Wise:

Well, most of the research shows that you can get most of the benefits, if not all of the benefits, by a simple 20-minute workout. So sometimes I think, when we're like, where do I even start? It's overwhelmed. We're like, what gym do I even start? It's overwhelmed. Like we're like what gym do I go to? Do I have a babysitter? What time of day should I go? What? What should I wear Lululemon? Should I wear Fabletics? Like you know, like our brain is processing things so quickly that we're like overwhelmed.

Amber Wise:

And so my advice would be to just start and don't make it harder than it has to be a 20 minute workout. You can find workouts all over YouTube, right, yeah, and so a 20 minute workout, commit yourself to 20 minutes, and it doesn't have to be in the morning. So many people are like, well, I'm not an early riser. And then I get up and I mean, if you can't find time anywhere else, I always recommend starting getting up a little bit earlier. But if that's not you, maybe it's you get done with your business day. You put your children to bed, like all the things are done, and then you do it before bed. A late workout is better than no workout.

Nika Lawrie:

No workout yeah.

Amber Wise:

And so just scheduling that time, and you know, when our nails grow out, we go and get our nails done, right, like we don't miss that appointment, and so it just you have to start slowly saying no, this is just something I do, like brushing my teeth. Yeah, I love that. It is complicated, it is hard, and so I mean, like my website has a couple of beginner workouts and, like I said, there's lots of YouTube videos out there that will help you just get going, get started and you can figure out the rest.

Nika Lawrie:

You mentioned earlier on that you record workout videos every day. Is there a place that people can access those, to see those?

Amber Wise:

Yeah, so those go into my group. My paid for fit ladies bootcamp. But I do have a YouTube channel that has some public as well. And gosh, if I don't remember the name of it right now, but I'll get it so we can link it.

Nika Lawrie:

And yeah.

Amber Wise:

I'll link it in the show notes. Definitely, you can see I'm a big promoter of it.

Nika Lawrie:

Sometimes it's hard when you're on the spot too. Can you share some advice that you have for so? So obviously you say you know, like, like, let's schedule time, find time in the mornings or in the evenings after babies have gone to bed, those kinds of things. But what about the women who are struggling to prioritize themselves, like you mentioned earlier? You know people were like, well, shouldn't I be spending time with my kids, or something like that. But how do we kind of make that mindset shift, that that prioritizing ourselves really is beneficial? What tips do you have?

Amber Wise:

Well, first I'd say, like, let yourself off the hook, right? I mean, geez, louise, like we are in a society right now that are, like you know, moms. You need to be moms like you don't work, but then also you need to work to make sure that you provide this awesome experience, a role model for the kids and enough money and all the things and so like. There is an insane amount of pressure on women.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous if you ask me, but yes the standards were entirely too high.

Amber Wise:

And then the most successful people I know that are that are mothers as well. They don't even share secrets Like, yes, I have a housekeeper, yes, my son, I work from home, but my son goes away from the home. Like I have help, yeah, and so you know, sometimes I think we can compare ourselves to other people and not know the whole story. Like I have help all around me, I hire help, like, and I'm okay with that because I know that I can be a better offer to people when someone else is doing my freaking toilet scrubbing. And so let yourself off the hook. Number one don't put so much pressure on yourself. And then you know I've got one daughter that's going off to medical school. She's been out of the house for four years. My other daughter is about to leave the house.

Amber Wise:

I've already told you about my divorce. Like, no relationship in your life is going to be there forever, yeah, yeah. And maybe you're I mean, hopefully your husband, but you, just your relationship with yourself is so important and you taking time for you is so important. And I am telling you I am a hundred percent proof when I went from not working out ever and being a people pleaser in my home to working out I 10 times my salary, 10 times my salary. I 10 times my relationship with my girls. People from the outside looking in were a little judgmental at the time because they never saw this Amber who took care of herself, and they just had some time they needed to get their brain around the fact that I'm going to take care of herself, and they just had some time they needed to get their brain around the fact that I'm going to take care of myself too. And so you may have some criticism from people here and there, but my relationship with my kids went up. It was so much better. I was so much better in my career.

Amber Wise:

I was like and then, like I said, I have this surprise baby. I'm remarried now and then I get pregnant and I'm like I can't like one of my kids just moved off to college and here I am pregnant, like this is weird, this can't be real life. And I forgot that because it's so easy for us to forget that I preach this all the time. And then I myself forgot how important it is to take care of myself, and so I sunk into terrible depression after having my little boy and I was far away from home, being a military spouse, had no family, no friends and I just it was terrible, no-transcript, like you've got to take care of you. That's the problem right now. You're nursing the baby, you're have all these health clients you take care of, but you're not taking care of you.

Amber Wise:

And so I committed myself. So I committed myself to 20 minutes a day because I know the research and I'm like 20 minutes is enough. I can take this baby that at that time I had no help, so I can take this baby out in the garage with me and do a workout. He can go in the stroller while I jog. And I said I'm going to work out for 20 minutes a day. I will not miss a day for 30 days and I will tell no one. Because I was tired of saying I'm going to start and then quit. And then my husband's all like she's a quitter. So I said nothing. My husband was like on Sundays I was out running with the baby.

Amber Wise:

He's like what is going on? I was like, oh, nothing, I'm just, you know, got to get back into shape. And again, I was going for this trip with the company I was with at the time I got top in the in the in the country, I was like not even on the leaderboard and I had increased myself so much at the time that I was like the top 10 in the whole company. And it was just, and people were like, how did you do it? I'm like it was from working out taking that time. So again, long answer. But you just ask really good questions. But you know it's just. I would say you just start and just trust the process. Yeah, trust that it's going to pay off, because it definitely will.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, what? What have been some of your favorite tools or resources along the way? I know you mentioned YouTube earlier for videos, but are there other places that you found that were really useful or beneficial throughout your process?

Amber Wise:

I find that community is what helps me the most. I'm certified in nutrition and I'm certified in exercise. Like I'm uh, you know there's and, like I said, there's so much free information out there, Um, but what has what has really helped me the most has being in a community. So that's why I joined fit ladies bootcamp and that's why I made made fit ladies bootcamp was because I needed something. I made something that I wish I would have had. I wish I would have had that support, because I say this all the time If you're not hitting your goals, if you're not doing what you said you're going to do, it could be that you don't have the support built into your life, and so I would say find a good accountability buddy or join some kind of a gym or a workout group. I think that that's the best way to go. Like I said, YouTube videos on your own are great, but if you really need that support to keep you motivated and keep you accountable, that's where I would start.

Nika Lawrie:

Accountability buddy is a great, great idea. I think it's such a it's. You know we struggle to be accountable to ourselves, which is unfortunate, but we're so more often accountable to other people, right? So you also talk about, you know, kind of getting your kids involved, or you know, as a mom, it's really important for us to teach our kids healthy habits habits. Do you have any advice for kind of showing up and showing our kids and incorporate health and healthy eating and fitness and stuff into their lives as well.

Amber Wise:

That's a great question. And I was not the healthy mom, right. And then I became the healthy mom and I remember my daughter, my oldest daughter, who was at the time, oh gosh, I don't know, maybe 12 or 13. And she was like look, mom, just because you're doing this healthy kick, we're not going to eat like that. And that was really hard. If you've trained your kids to eat, you know all the breads and all the fried foods, and then all of a sudden you're making this big shift. It's really hard.

Amber Wise:

And so the advice I give on this is like go ahead, make your healthy meal still. Make them macaroni and cheese on the side, make them something they love to, to use them into it. But then over time kids will model what you do. So all of my children now eat super healthy. Like eating is not at half. Like my daughter who's off in college now. She still eats very healthy. She meal preps like so they're going to eventually come around Like you just have to keep offering it.

Amber Wise:

So sometimes parents will offer it and their kids will turn it down. They're like oh well, my daughter doesn't like broccoli. How do you get your kids to eat broccoli? I just keep putting it out there, and then eventually they'll see everyone else eating it and you keep offering it, and so I don't, we don't make it a big deal, cause I don't, I'm not big on, I'm from Southwest Louisiana.

Amber Wise:

You can't tell from my accent, um, but we were taught like you have to eat everything on your plate, and that is why Southwest Louisiana is morbidly obese, um, you know. So we never make a big deal in our house over how much someone eats. If they eat a lot, if they eat a little, it's totally like off the radar for us. So, and then you know, incorporate them into working out with you, if you can. You know, I, I wish I had it in front of me, but I think it's like 50 calories every 30 minutes from just playing chase with your kids. So there's tons of stuff you can do with your kids, and then they'll see you enjoying it, yeah, and they'll want to be more active as well.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, I love that. I was talking to somebody else a few weeks ago about that kind of thing, that one of the best things that I started doing, um specifically during the pandemic, was, um, my workout time. My daughter and I would do it together, you know, and so she's she's five, and so she would do her. You know five-year-old version of it, and I'd do mine and we'd watch some kind of workout video. But it ended up being a really great bonding activity. It was something that we would laugh and have a good time and we looked forward to exercise together and it got both of us up and moving, and so I like the idea of incorporating, you know, sharing that time with your kids.

Amber Wise:

Yeah, because it ends up being fun, like my daughter sometimes will be on the workout videos with me as her, we'll come in and pick up a little weight and start doing his version of squats. His form is really bad, so, being three, I let it go. It's got time to work on it. But yeah, I just think it's funny, especially for boy moms. If you have a boy. I'm reading up on boys right now because I'm from a family of girls and I raise girls, and so this boy stuff is new to me. New, yeah, but they need so.

Amber Wise:

Many of us will, you know, use screen time, but they really need to move their bodies. And so me and Ezra will run to the park. I'll start my like watch, like I'm doing a workout, and we will race to the park in our neighborhood. And then when we get there and I don't let him win because there's no point, so when we get there I'll set up obstacles all over the park and have him climb this and jump over this and um, and then I'll do it as well, and so I'm getting a great calorie burner in, but then he's getting to move his body and get the energy out of him that they have, and they will go nuts in your house if you don't get it out of them, and he just feels so much stronger and more accomplished after. So it's like a win, win, win, win, win to get active with your family.

Nika Lawrie:

That's. I love that you brought up that he feels accomplished afterwards. I think that's an important thing to remember is is kids need to feel like they are contributing or achieving something or, you know, have kind of that grownup feeling even though they're little kids.

Amber Wise:

So I think that's, yeah, that's so wise of you to say that, yeah, so, so important. My daughter, one of my daughters, when she was seven or eight, she was very introverted, which we are a family of extroverts, and I have one daughter that's like very introverted and she could not really have a trouble looking people in the eyes and just very shy, and and I was, so I'd research like crazy. You know, like how do I help her to have more confidence? Cause she'd slouch her shoulders over you know all the things.

Amber Wise:

And so I didn't being picked on as a kid so much. I just you're always like on the defense, like making sure your kids are going to be okay, and so I wanted to inspire confidence in her and what I found was when I would, when I did my searches and I did my research is exactly what you just said they need to feel accomplished. And so that I gave her tasks to do and then, when she did them and felt complete, then her confidence would rise. And it's lovely when you can do that in exercise as well.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, absolutely, what a great, great just kind of story or example of ways that we can do simple things that really make a profound difference in our child's lives over time. And it can be so simple sometimes.

Amber Wise:

It almost always is Like parenting is like so simple, like it's hard, it's hard, it's hard, it's hard, but it's one simple thing after another, like little life lessons and all the little things that we do, and that's really what we can just raise phenomenal children from just putting small daily things into action. Yeah, definitely.

Nika Lawrie:

So if you could share one thing with with a mom, or with moms in general, what would it be and why?

Amber Wise:

Oh gosh, I would just probably hug him. He's going to be okay. I was actually on my Facebook stories yesterday crying because I just found out my daughter got into another medical school and they gave her this huge scholarship Congratulations.

Nika Lawrie:

That's amazing, thank you.

Amber Wise:

And this is the advice I gave. I said it's worth it. Like sometimes when we're doing the right thing day after day after day, and we don't see any fruits from it, we don't see any progress from it. And we see Susan down the street you know who isn't doing any of the things, and her kids look just fine, Mm-hmm, and you want to give up.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, yeah.

Amber Wise:

It's so, it's so hard to parent. Yeah, you want to give up at times. You won't. You don't want to keep doing the right thing. You don't want to have your yes, the yes, and your no. But no, you're like have the thing, have the candy, have I don't care anymore, right, yeah, but I would tell them it's worth it, like every small decision you make, like we were just saying, adds up to. I mean, my kids are just extraordinary humans now because of all the small things over time. So that's what I would share, like it's worth it. It's okay. Get in a great mom support group, get a couple of friends and, you know, have a drink every once in a while and say, look these kids, they work in my nerves.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, I love that you said that the mom support group. Two of my best friends are moms and they have kids. We're all within a year of the kids and that for me, was game changing. Just to have that connect, somebody to talk to. Just like, am I crazy or is this normal? Like, yeah, am I crazy?

Amber Wise:

Is my kid crazy, I think. I'm like y'all, has your child ever done this? Because I don't know if ezra is like psycho, yeah, and he's like three poor buddy, but yeah. And then you ask and they're like oh yeah, they do that all the time. Oh, my gosh, yes, they did that. And I'm like what? This is so weird. But you know, kids are all. Kids are different. But and the only thing is like to be care, like yes, talk about it, but then be careful. I've been in some mom groups that all they want to do is constantly bash their kids and like that's not fun, that's not good, yeah, and I always say focus on the good. Like Absolutely Jeez. Like if you can just focus on the good of your kids all the time, the bad starts washing itself out.

Nika Lawrie:

Like yes, so for sure, definitely, for sure, definitely. Well, amber, I have one more question for you, but before I get to that, where can the listeners connect you? How can they find you online?

Amber Wise:

Well, I spend a lot of time on Facebook, so my personal account is Amber Wise on Facebook, and then I have a business page called Fit Ladies, and then I'm on Instagram at Wise Fit Life. So those are the three easiest places to find me.

Nika Lawrie:

And I'll link to those in the show notes as well, definitely. So before I get the last question, I also just want to take a moment to just recognize you One for all the accomplishments that you've done throughout your life. Just overcoming the challenges and driving forward, I think, is so powerful and such an inspirational story for so many. So I commend you for that and I and I want to say thank you for for inspiring so many of us. I think it's a beautiful thing.

Nika Lawrie:

Thank you, thank you and then I also want to just recognize you for for helping women and to encourage women to get healthy and take care of themselves, and we need more champions like that, and so I commend you for that as well.

Amber Wise:

Yes, yes, well, thank you, and I commend you for doing it as well.

Nika Lawrie:

Oh, thank you, I appreciate that, yeah. So my last question for you it's something I ask every guest is what advice do you have for someone who wants to make change either in their life, in their community or around the world?

Amber Wise:

Oh, wow, that's a big one. It is, yeah, and I feel like I'm so repetitive, but if you want to make a change in your life, your community or the world, I think it starts with you and again, I think it's small steps every day.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah.

Amber Wise:

I think it's just a compounding effect. Everything we do is just a compounding effect, absolutely yeah, and you don't see great results sometimes in the first few days of picking up trash around your house, or I mean around your neighborhood or yeah, but I don't know. I think it's just small things daily. I love that. I think it's just small things daily.

Nika Lawrie:

I love that. I totally agree. I always try to drive home the idea that big accomplishments come from baby steps.

Amber Wise:

And so it's just starting. Yeah, and if you're a mom, you can raise really good kids and then they can go on to change. You're going to have a bunch of doctors that go out there and do great things, absolutely.

Nika Lawrie:

Well, amber, this has been wonderful. Thank you so much for your time, your advice and just sharing everything with us today. I really appreciate it.

Amber Wise:

I appreciate being on here, you having me on here, you are like amazing and I need to be in your mom circle, please. Can we be best friends? Yes, I love that. That would. Mom's circle, please, can we be best friends? Yes, I'd love that that would be awesome, thank you.

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