124. Narcissism Explained: What to Watch For in Relationships

 A listener asks: “What exactly is narcissism and how can I tell if I’m dating someone with narcissistic traits?” In this episode, Gemma breaks narcissism down into plain English. You’ll learn why it’s best understood as a personality style on a spectrum, how narcissistic coping modes show up through self-absorption and poor tolerance for your subjectivity and the concrete signs to look for in the early dating stage. We also cover boundaries, reciprocity and practical ways to tune into - and trust - your internal radar.

What you’ll learn

• Narcissism 101: spectrum vs diagnosed NPD; why “narcissistic modes” matter
• The central feature: self-absorption (and why it erodes empathy & reciprocity)
• Early dating indicators: shallow interest, interrupting, image obsession, contempt/arrogance, running down exes, boundary-pushing
• Reality-checks for boundaries & differences: how they handle “no,” cancellations and disagreement
• Why narcissistic dynamics chip away at self-worth and how to protect yours
• A calm process for getting to know someone across contexts (and why to go slow)

Try this - self-check prompts on a date

• Do I feel seen, heard and not rushed?
• Can I say “no” or disagree without payback or sulking?
• Is attention reciprocal over time (not just in bursts)?
• Do their words match behaviour when it costs them something?

Resources & links

• Download: Dating With Insight - After-Date Reflection Guide (free)
• Join the Love Wisely priority list for the next round
• Ask Gemma a question for the podcast: hello@drgemmagladstone.com
  
  
• If this helped, please leave a review on your podcast app - it really supports the show.